Excel Humor

Excel Twitters 20080913

Well, the political conventions are over in the USA, and students are back in school, so people are tweeting about Excel again. There’s lots of talk about training sessions, the usual Excel joys and frustrations, some colourful comments, and a touch of humour.

Excel Features

  • Excel’s single most annoying habit – automatically applying text-to-column delimeters when you paste. urge to kill!
  • has *mastered* “text-to-columns” in Excel. It’s going on the resume.
  • Is it impossible for people to conceive of using indent in excel instead of five billion spaces?
  • Microsoft Excel has no keyboard shortcut for “save as”. Probably because they are *only* on version 11.

A Bit of Colour

  • you can COLOR your tabs in Excel. Surely, this knowledge will save the world.
  • Just found a weird thing in the Excel 2007 color model. Should make an interesting blog post next week. 5-6 people will be fascinated. (Ed. note: Hmmm…I wonder if this was the result.)

Personal Issues

  • I just want to be clear, because of the timing of my last two twits: Excel is not driving me to drink. (Yet.)
  • Friday night and I’m creating workbooks on Excel to figure YTD income by agency. How is it that I’m single?
  • microsoft excel is an organized freak’s (um, me/my) best friend.
  • “teach your children well” means expose them to the advanced features of Excel! If they’re into it.

How Tough Can It Be?

  • I think my co-worker uses calc to total stuff up then manually types the results into the “Totals” fields in excel… Honestly.
  • I had to train on the basics of how to use excel 5 times today. I didn’t know it was the most complex piece of software ever invented.
  • hate how being “the computer guy” somehow means that I have to do analytical Excel homework assignment for PhD who can’t click the Fx button

Everybody’s a Comedian

  • I, too, wish Excel pooped magical ponies onto my desk but it just doesn’t do that.
  • Office for Mac: Excel without VBA is like a car with square wheels
  • Excel was sent from a distant civilization to disrupt the nature of the our planet. Microsoft found it in a crater and decided to sell it.
  • My boss: Does anyone know how to put bullets into an excel spreadsheet? Me: Hold on, let me get my gun.
  • if there was no microsoft who would I blame?

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