Excel Humor

Excel Twitters 20090731

Are Excel nerds Rock Stars? Should we hear applause after each brilliant performance? People were celebrating the small Excel victories in Twitterville this week. Speaking of celebrations, it’s Ken Puls’ birthday today, and Nick Hodge is getting married this weekend, so best wishes to them.

I’m not a historian, so can’t vouch for the accuracy of the Obama claim in this weeks tweets, but it’s interesting anyway. Meanwhile, other dads were causing Excel problems for their long suffering children. And I’m not sure who’s making those poisonous bacon claims, but Mike Alexander would be my first suspect.

Finally, if you were one of the winners in the Summer Giveaway for Excel Nerds, you should have received an email from me. If not, please email me at ddalgleish @ contextures.com.

Father Knows Best

  • It’s time for bed. Just gave my father a Microsoft Excel tutorial by phone. I’m tired!
  • My dad stopped by for a simpel Excel question…..2 hours later we finished
  • Went to Dad’s for the annual printing and reset of an Excel spreadsheet. How he ended up with two sons in the computer industry is beyond me
  • Funky visual effect when this macro is run due to VBA being finicky with selection requirements shouldn’t be there, but Dad (boss) likes it

Off the Charts

  • Goddamnit Microsoft, why did you deem it necessary to make the chart interface for Excel 2007 vastly different from 03 but somehow worse?
  • O, Excel. Nobody wants to add an axes label after creating a chart. Thanks for making that completely inscrutable. MATLAB will let me. Pfff!
  • Can anyone make a Mac graphing utility – for designers, mind you, none of that mathy stuff – that a) works and b) has options like Excel?

Rousing Applause

  • I want to be a musician so I can get accolades after each of my tasks. Excel spreadsheet? Clap clap! RFP? Rousing applause!
  • U know u’re an accounting nerd when u figure out how to do smthing new in excel and jump out of your seat pump ur fist and scream YES!
  • Grace>Excel. Successfully fixing a spreadsheet led to a private dance party – a kind of joy that copying/holepunching just can’t provide
  • Cowoker & I behaved as if we just won the lottery when we managed to get numbers from 2 different Excel models match each other. Oh, yeah!

Small Steps

  • see, I told you. Excel triggers it. Its a specific cell when used as a SUM, emits poisonous bacon particles
  • Excel, I love you / I do all the logistics / You do all the math. #haiku
  • Obama becomes first US president to use the word “spreadsheet” in a speech. One small step for man, one giant leap for Excel.
  • 95% of the stuff you might want to accomplish in MS Access you can do in Excel with 10% the effort.

No Problem

  • Create a price-list in excel for spare parts for the Robinson 44 and 22. No problem, I said – which was before I saw the 14.000 part-list.
  • There is something utterly sweet about your man offering to create formulae for your wedding seating chart spreadsheet. I hate Excel.
  • Doing an excel spreadsheet to list my inventory of all music gear and insturments, bordem or maturity?

Re-inventing the Wheel

  • Excel file size creep? Stand back, this is a job for my poor grasp of vba.
  • #worstDevMemory Finding a comment in the VBA “‘This will require the server to be rebooted”
  • Wrote Excel VBA Add-In to clean non-printing characters out of my data. Wonder how many times that wheel has been re-invented.

Rock Stars

  • Will be reciting Excel equations in my sleep tonight. My colleague taught me so much today! My bff said “Excel could raise a child”.
  • I have a excel spreadsheet i will splash across the screen when the boss stomps past. god help me if she doesnt wear her boots!
  • After looking at excel sheets since 10am..my conclusion. I am soo gonna work my ass off at magic cause real jobs aint my thing!
  • Can we stop using the term “Rock Star” to describe professional capacity? Formatting an Excel worksheet doesn’t = headlining an arena tour.

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