Excel Theatre Blog » Excel humour

Excel Twitter 20100729

Debra — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 04:02:00 +0000

Do you think the people from the first two tweets work in the same office?

not really feelin this work thing today. who on twitter tryna see me in EXCEL Battleship?!?! lol.
Why is it that I always ends up doing other peoples Excel work.
So you have to colour-code a spreadsheet. What’s the first colour you go for? … That’s right. Bubble gum pink.
I can pivot-table 65k lines of data in my mac with 5 key strokes, this PC I couldnt even find the "Save As".
Making Excel spreadsheets look pretty and making sure formulas work properly since this morning.
#overheard "Dude, Excel ROCKS! I love it you can do so much with the filters". // HA! Office nerd.
Well, that spreadsheet destroyed the part of my brain I wanted to hold on to….
Aah, my eyes! This spreadsheet colouring seems to be the worst of the 1960s depicted via the medium of artificially coloured vomit
LOVE IT when I find an error in one excel-generated graph that causes me to have to redo 15 slides.
My coworker is talking to his spreadsheet and singing it songs. Sad what you have to do to make Excel work.
I wish there was a cross between Excel and Word. Excel spreadsheet but Word abilities within the cell… That would be sweet!
Literally, this is how a problem is explained that I’m needed to help with. "I can’t make it go ‘bzzzzz’ around the cell [in Excel]." #FML
my boss today: ‘so the client is wondering why his excel file doesn’t light up like a Christmas tree and do an automatic song and dance?’
Just overheard someone in the office refer to a spreadsheet as a "spreado". If I ever use that particular piece of posh slang, shoot me.
Trying to think of how to create a spreadsheet that will accomplish today’s tasks…I think excel is my adult security blanket.
I love waking up with a solution to a problem, knowing my subconscious has been working on it in my sleep. Today it was about a spreadsheet.
You’re teaching a 4-year-old to write code?"Well certainly I don’t want him out there, you know, learning Excel macros ON THE STREET!

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Excel Twitter 20100728

Debra — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 04:03:00 +0000

Wow, how big is that person’s monitor? I can only see 975 full cells on mine (at 100%), and my eyes are sore at the end of the day.

I think I just installed 100TB of microsoft products in order to be able to spend a couple of hours reviewing a spreadsheet.
@keithlaw Baseball is played on a field, not a spreadsheet, Keith. <== my impression of a dinosaur
excel, you are killiing meee!!! When I say that I don’t want borders on the chart, that doens’t mean you can leave a bottom border!!!!!!
Note to self: when calculations within program take massive amounts of time, blame MS Excel interop first and foremost
After making fun of colleague’s lack of skill w/Excel, the file he sends me on last day of work is corrupted. He gets the last laugh.
my new monitor allows me to see 2,470 cells in Excel at once.. spreadsheet heaven..
Then the most common thing heard is "Dave, you know computers. Can you help me with this – I dunno how to use excel"
So the database I’ve spent the whole day working on was actually meant to be a spreadsheet. Copy and paste, my life is in your hands
And now the accounts. Excel hates me more than the dog does, so this should be…fun. *Headdesk!*
I know a state agency that keeps their entire database in an excel spreadsheet backed up on a flash drive. #stuffofnightmares
Excel 2007 is stupid!!! I want my chart wizard back!
I love Excel/Spreadsheets it’s just like Lego (my childhood favorite) because I’m a spreadsheet monkey & can build anything in Excel! #fb
he’s not joking about the spreadsheet. 100% nerd. But 100% AWESOME!!
definitely couldn’t do a job that normally involves this much excel spreadsheet action

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Excel Twitter 20100727

Debra — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 04:02:00 +0000

Uh-oh! I use Excel for work, and for leisure, and I think pivot tables are cool. Maybe it’s time for a nap.

It is absolutely inexcusable when someone makes an error on an important Excel spreadsheet. Unless, of course, that someone is me…
The main problem with making coffee with Excel is that the fluid dynamic simulation takes up too many CPU cycles.
I am about to start to swearing … Going to take my nicely formatted excel spreadsheet and bugger it up in google docs so we can share it
so i spend the day working out what was wrong with my spreadsheet & now that i’ve got it i’ve a whole new set of problems. haha! grrrreat.
I say I hate numbers but then I start bashing them into excel & what they tell me is *so* empowering that I realise that I really LOVE them.
Wow. I just downloaded the Afghan war on excel, blow by blow. Yes, a spreadsheet. http://bit.ly/aVVDDZ (Via Guardian) It’s a Groundswell
Someone described business school to me as making charts in Excel and presenting them. Thought that was pretty funny.
Think this may officially be the most absurd spreadsheet I’ve ever written, and it’s still going to get worse. It’s bloody awesome though!
excel 2007 pie of pie charts are the bane of my existence right now
They finally gave me Excel 2007 at work. I guess I’ll get 2010 in 3 years?
Excel for work, Excel for leisure. I wonder where I am heading.
Honestly is minor math and excel work really that difficult? I’m starting to think for some people it is.
billing reports = evil on a spreadsheet ugh
I should just not think about the lottery. Whenever I do, I somehow end up making a spreadsheet.
Was going to start updating an investments spreadsheet, but figure a nap is really a better use of my time.
I never wanted to be the type of person that looked at a pivot table off a giant data cube and said ‘cooool!’

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Excel Twitter 20100726

Debra — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 04:02:00 +0000

Maybe it’s the 11-year-old who’s taking his time to finish that spreadsheet. If it’s someone else, I hope the boss doesn’t read Twitter!

taking my time doing this Excel spreadsheet for my boss. i coulda finished it in 5mins, but ill give it to her in 30 *shrugs*
Showed 11yr old step-son how to use Excel. He’s been making a spreadsheet of ATL restaurants for us. #childlabor
we named excel @ work Lecxe, like a fancy Lexi. & we tell the excel go to guy that Lecxe is a bitch when it something doesnt work right.
Excel question: Anyone know how to make excel dispense beer? That would be really helpful about now.
life decisions in excel spreadsheet format. My world’s have collided!
Time to build a stronger relationship w/ excel spreadsheet. I can smell monday already
the only words I like in conjunction with ‘spread’ are ‘chocolate’ and ‘bed’… none of this ‘sheet’ business. Excel confuses me!
Rule #1 – the critically important Excel spreadsheet you are looking for on you computer will never be found, ever; it’s lost, forever dude
Examining the hidden Excel data in a telco’s PPT chart, I found far more data than they intended to release. If only I could read Russian.
was spending a perfectly wasteful saturday. At some point a blank spreadsheet got involved, now its 14Mb and i have a stiff neck. damn!
Fighting the urge to bypass Excel and make pretty charts in Illustrator
Time to make a sexy spreadsheet about how much money college loans will cost me. Spoiler: Too much.
It might just be me, patsy cline, and this very large excel file for the rest of the night.
I would look at your spreadsheet but have just discovered I dont have excel
You know you work a lot in Excel when you have a Book5 and a Book100 open simultaneously.
A summary pivot table?! There goes my weekend.

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Excel Twitter 20100724

Debra — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 04:02:00 +0000

MacGyver it into Excel. I like that, and we’ve probably all done it, without knowing what to call it!

Fixed the first Excel problem of the day – a nested IF that the user claimed was misbehaving.
No matter how hard I look at this spreadsheet, the numbers aren’t going to change. **sighs**
How could I have not written down what the colors on my spreadsheet mean? 6 months later and I can’t remember. #fail
Constructing an excel spreadsheet of what i want to see at Edinburgh next month. Makes it look like i’m doing work
I Win T Shirt –>>"I love Macros” t-shirts" ; ) http://blogs.msdn.com/b/excel/
you can call me Chart Master: Keeper of Excel.
Awwww I’ve just discovered a flaw in my mega spreadsheet, after I’ve made multiple copies for different scenarios…. sigh….
right…..this spreadsheet won’t build itself you know………….which is a shame cause my VBA macro is called "self_building_spreadsheet"
Things I really need to work on: VBA in Excel and using API’s – both for reporting and data manipulation… so much, so little time..
Is the such a thing as Excelitis. An aversion to Excel which prevents you going to work if it uses Excel?
I still prefer not to handle large amounts of data in Excel, but I have to grudgingly admit that pivot tables do lessen the pain.
Just worked out I spend R1200 more than I earn EVERY month. Filled it all out on a spreadsheet and am STILL confused as to how it happens.
Yeah a little bit. That would be great. I could try to Macgyver it into Excel. Hopefully it will work
I’m pretty sure a spreadsheet just wrecked my day.
Excel ’03 punishes me for saving often by destroying my undo history.

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Excel Twitter 20100723

Debra — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 04:02:00 +0000

Have you ever been distracted from Excel by your fried bee hoon? No, it’s not caused by sitting on a deck chair that’s been baking in the sun, when you take your laptop outside to work.

I click on an internal webpage link on who to contact in another department… and it DOWNLOADS AN EXCEL SPREADSHEET. Really? REALLY?! #FAIL
Starting to think setting off code to double loop 300k cells in Excel was a bad idea on my netbook (sips coffee)
Typing gym workouts into an Excel document. My holidays from work are WILD so far.
My fried beehoon is distracting me from my excel :<
i am now known as the excel wizard, this is good and bad, awesome to be known for something sucks cause i now get more work haha
Why does no one go on dragons den with an excel spreadsheet and a set of financial projections.
when they ask me to do an Excel spreadsheet at work I be thinkin you want a GOOD one or like just an informative one??
Still working. Just wondering whether to re-do the spreadsheet I accidently didn’t save earlier today or pack up for the evening.
Oh yes, I also screwed up explaining how pivot tables work. I hope they don’t think I was exaggerating my Excel expertise.
New computer monitor at work. I can now see all of columns from A to Z in excel without scrolling. Today is a special day.
Does being given more Excel spreadsheet tasks mean you are moving up in an organization? #doom
Is it too geeky to use a spreadsheet to choose a diamond ring to propose?
Me thinks me need another coffee, got some excel vba code to try to sort written by someone else!!!!

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Excel Twitter 20100722

Debra — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 04:02:00 +0000

A pie chart wrapped in a donut chart? Is that the Excel version of a KFC Double Down?

Person says: "reformat" I think: "computers. reinstall OS." Coworker thinks: "Excel spreadsheet. Move data round." #perspective
Everyone at my workplace is crazy for Excel & spreadsheets. Everyone.
today I learnt how to do pivot tables in Excel. what have I become
I just looked up how to use division in an Excel cell. I now feel completely stupid.
I just want everyone to know I got my ass handed to me by a excel spreadsheet! I forgot so much in 10 years I’d like to blame booze and time
long day superceded by fountain show at the bellagio, and potentially le cirque? worse places to wrangle with excel i suppose.
Just spent pretty much the entire day cleaning a huge, messy spreadsheet for data upload.. Just been emailed a ‘new’ version to use. *anger*
my parents made a spreadsheet n all of it is adding in the thousands smh.. N it’s mainly food
Excel help: How do I make a pie chart with a donut chart around it showing subdivisions within each slice?
I’m going to have to climb back into the wrong end of an Excel spreadsheet again soon. I don’t think there is a right end.
Plus side of my work desktop hosing today. Finally got rid of a stupid excel bug that’s plagued me for the past 4 years #repairedbyaccident
This budget spreadsheet is kicking my ass. Note to self: comprehend math better.
There are people in this old world who think in spreadsheet. Sadly, I’m not one.

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Excel Twitter 20100721

Debra — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 04:03:00 +0000

Yelling, cursing, and True Blood. That’s how we work with Excel — sorry Mom.

La Boss: Here is disc with 10,000 records of data. Give it to me in a spreadsheet. Me: Wuuuuuuuuhhhh.
Be still my beating chart. It seems that since my PhD I have *entirely* forgotten how to draw a graph in Excel. #headhurty
you know what’s wrong with our relationship? Check my excel spreadsheet. -anonymous
If MS Excel is the most popular and powerful spreadsheet software in the world then why is it so counter intuitive? Answers on a postcard.
Workin on this budgeting spreadsheet for this Grad class.. I had no clue I was spending this much money.. smh, sorry Mom
friend of mine has a spreadsheet with every concert he’s ever been to. impressive. i can’t even remember what i saw last night.
have shouted and problem has progressed, excel now working but still no mail! Will shout some more!
One hour’s worth of Microsoft Excel work swirling down the "Microsoft Excel (not responding)" drain. Save first, apply fancy format later.
I love cursing Excel for not working correctly only to find that I was the one doing it wrong. #usererror
My computer in work is gettin update from excel 03 to 07, don’t like it, it’s hard to use! I like simple! SIMPLE I SAY!!
I need to pick the brains of a spreadsheet guru (this makes me sound like a creepy stalker, argh!)
True Blood and Excel Spreadsheets. I just love preparing for meetings.
Someone please teach me how to work Microsoft excel. Please?
I’m delighted – small miracles but I just created an Excel Formula which will save me about 1 day of work! 1hr to create! Yes!
Just created an Excel file that will save 20 people 2+ hours / month. My work here is done!
Tomorrow involves reverse engineering a rather archaic excel spreadsheet; much fun to be had.
I love creating simple games in Excel that I can share with co-workers. Just don’t tell my boss.

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Excel Twitter 20100720

Debra — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 04:02:00 +0000

Spreadsheet coma? I’ve had that. Usually caused by ingesting large quantities of Excel.

My mouse wheel doesn’t work in Excel. My job duties are primarily concerned w/ data analysis. No witty hashtag; it’d simply be expletives.
Excel VBA is my paintbrush, these General Ledger spreadsheets are my canvas, and Kaskade is my muse. Time for the artist to work…
yup, at Google almost all projects are managed with just a Google spreadsheet.
My husband is the awesomest person ever. And I’m not just saying that b/c I exploited his love of Excel for my own personal project. #fb
I declare the Pivot Table to be the most awesome thing EVER.
Cannot internet today. I haz a spreadsheet coma. #Mondays
I LOVE lists; just made an Excel spreadsheet w/ everything needed for camping for the week, & it’s all color coded. My #OCD at it’s finest!
nothing like a wendy’s spicy chicken sandwich to counter a long day of spreadsheet editing.
I keep a spreadsheet of the number of days w/out smoking. Sometimes not wanting to mess that up is the only thing that saves me.
I just calculated that it takes 142000 ants to cover 1 km but excel was naughty and gave me wrong calculations it seems.
I appear to have a one-track mind today. This is what Spreadsheets do to me. Don’t let Excel happen to you… or someone you love #justsayno
I hope I didn’t look stupid lying my ass off about my excel skills…only to find out I had to take a skill assessment test >.<
The shorter route to "Paste as a value" in Excel 2010 is the best thing in Office 2010 so far!!!
I wish I could turn this excel workbook into a glass plate and smash it against the wall
#Excel 2007 file size: 63 MB. Same file saved as csv file? 8 MB. Gotta love Excels efficiency and space saving there.
Gantt Charts look sexier when created in MS Excel. Gantt Chart in MS Project is like vermiform appendix in human body – useless!
My kids leave in 48 hours for vacation. I’m dealing with this by ingesting large quantities of microsoft excel.
I hate spreadsheets and have one to do now. You’re either a spreadsheet kind of person or not and I’m soooo not.
Have spent most of my day making a spreadsheet of HR pages on intranet. Most of which are out of date or irrelevant.

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Excel Twitter 20100719

Debra — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 04:01:00 +0000

Organization or procrastination? Who hasn’t asked that question?

Boo, lost my stolen wifi at work. Looks like its excel spreadsheet time for me. #needinternetnow
Hubby brought home fazolis. To bribe me to double check an accounting spreadsheet for him. Still way easier than cooking.
I either need someone to come over and decode this spreadsheet for me… or I need more coffee. *crickets* Ok… more coffee it is then. BRB
If you just sit at work staring at a spreadsheet, doing nothing, no one will question what youre doing. This is me for the nxt 3 hours.
Just wasted a whole tree printing an excel workbook that wasn’t formatted properly
OpenHeatMap "Turn your spreadsheet into a map" http://www.openheatmap.com/
Playing Russian roulette with MS Excel. How long to wait for it to respond before it shreds my afternoon’s work (again)?
Sent an email back to legal: I need help understanding this excel spreadsheet in order to meet your deadline. Monday will be interesting!
Sometimes fixing a complex Excel spreadsheet is like de-bugging code – one damn little ‘ throws everything off….
coffee, powerpoint, spreadsheet, repeat.
I’m going cross eyed from staring at excel sheets and endless numbers. How do people work in auditing?
Computer is worse than foreign language. i guess so . I don’t need Excel to live. just for work. or i might be needless 4 me ever
All right, I’m making an Excel spreadsheet for all my projects. One for editing, one for writing. Organization or procrastinating?

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