Excel Theatre Blog

Excel Twitters 20100313

Debra — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 05:02:00 +0000

What makes you crazy in Excel? Formulas that show different results for “identical” data? Bubble charts? Excel 2007? Pie charts? Shades of puce? So many possibilities, so little time.

Just got to work…I will now proceed to put x’s in various Excel spreadsheet cells for the next three hours. Get to leave at 12 though
I swear Excel is trying to kill me. Identical data, one spreadsheet counts 46, the other counts 50. Aaaargh! I’m melting!
Struggling with a IF THEN ELSE in Excel … How the brain can fade when not used for a while !!!
At least she has 2 names. If u write Madonna in excel sheet- do u put it in 1st or last name column..either way messes w/ the SORT
I’m thinking about making the jump to Excel 2007 from 2003 at work. Finally starting to be more painful to use 2003 due to others using 2007
Learned something new: 1st step in creating a correct chart in excel: put the data on the right axes. This would save so much time. T_T
Whoa. Excel genius at work just blew my mind making a graph using bubbles. Everything looks like the solar system. Magic.
Colleague points to his screen & shows me that the cursor in Excel moving along the screen. I point to the folder resting on his space bar.
Uh-oh – I conquered Mount Excel & built the amazing spreadsheet, but it’s so awesome it can’t get enough juice to run. That sucks!
Could be worse, they could be deciding which shade of puce means really nearly really done in an excel spreadsheet
my manager dont even knw how to work on excel…dat is basic ….gawwd
thanks to MS excel now i wait for the words to auto complete in… notepad!! #sigh
Just managed to "break excel"… from the mouth of our spreadsheet guru! I’m quite proud of that! Jeremy 1, Microsoft 0!
Guy nearby calling help desk about how excel changed his column headings from letters to numbers is God’s way of telling me to go home.
I DID IT! Finally my life has meaning. I’ve created the most beatiful and functional Excel Spreadsheet EVER!!! I can rest in peace.
These are all in Excel 2003 format, because Excel 2007 is a hideous monstrosity that should have been strangled at birth.
nerd alert: i just made an excel spreadsheet of movies i’ve seen so far this year, complete with ratings.
Boss called today, ecstatic, proclaiming I had ‘a job for life’ after doing an ok job at a simple excel spreadsheet. Why bother with uni?
Excel just recovered a spreadsheet last saved the 1st of January 1601 at 00:00:01. That’s efficiency!
If you stare too long into the Excel, the Excel will stare back into you. Insanity is but a pie chart away.

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Excel Twitters 20100312

Debra — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 05:03:00 +0000

Be careful Kelly Rose! Just because you meet guys in the library, doesn’t mean they should be trusted, especially if they’re buying spreadsheets. It might be safer to stay home and work on Excel knitting charts.

Just made a chart in Excel for the 1st time since who knows when, line graph, resisted going 3D…. I don’t think it’s telling me much
FYI… Claiming work can be done quicker in excel than in Silverlight in no way makes me want to work harder or faster to complete a task.
Ummm love that some 40 year old guy just walked up to kelly rose & I in the lib & paid us $60 to make an excel spreadsheet for him.
wow… I need to be more proficient with excel… lol making a poker spreadsheet for places and points, and i’m gettin my butt kicked…
Not sure I can face looking at excel spreadsheets all day today. 4274 rows is just tooo big to work with.
I want to offer a giant THANK YOU to all the Excel nerds who post things online. Trolling sites by MVPs just helped me solve a big problem.
I hate excel like Lindsey Lohan hates eTrade right now.
Back to Excel and Powerpoint… maybe I should have stayed at work to get this done. Productivity levels at home are considerably lower.
Thank you all for the sympathy. 14 straight hrs of financial databases and excel spreadsheets is pretty damn painful. Tmw will be better.
blindly offered to help with a spreadsheet. its 46,608 rows of data that looks like it was barfed into an excel file. [sigh]
finished with excel for the day and my brain is still in one piece
Managed to waste an hour fiddling around with the functions on Excel instead of doing work. Oh how I love to procrastinate
sick of number rounding problems. java and ms excel are enemies. i’m the negotiator.
Just used an excel spreadsheet to calculate wether or not I can afford everything I want on Topshop.com. It came to 1285.00. So that’s a no.
Good hair day, sunshine abounds, listening to music while I try to dominate this excel speadsheet… 3 out of 4 is pretty great!
Redoing knitting charts in excel. More fun than it sounds. Or maybe I’m just THAT bored
I’ve pretty much been useless at work tonight. Can’t seem to fix anyones problems. Then again they all seem to be centered around Excel.
My ME coworker is baffled by MS Excel. Hes been instructed to use a quote mark for direct entry; he’s unclear: "is that like an apostrophe?"
Just doubled my mouse pointer speed. Excel isn’t gonna know what’s hit it.
Off the station – Another day another Dollar. On that exchange rate, an Excel spreadsheet is worth about 5 cents!

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Excel Twitters 20100311

Debra — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 05:02:00 +0000

You knew it would happen – Excel 2007 has a million rows, and now people want 2 million. Meanwhile, the 6th graders are playing Excel battleship, and learning about those bad variable names. If you’d like to play too, my friend Andrew Engwirda has a free version of Excel Battleship that you can download.

i made an excel spreadsheet for all the countries i have coins from. i’m very organized and i like it.
lets all be sophisticated adults and spend the evening at starbucks with our laptops out and type numbers into microsoft excel
Can’t look at inappropriate websites at work. That’s when I’m thankful that my biggest turn-on is Excel spreadsheets in Arial 10pt. font.
#learnsomethingeveryday You can do GANTT charts with Excel. Impressed. No idea HOW but I hear it can be done.
poor use of excel really irritates me. what’s up with skipping rows? do you even know why you’re using a spreadsheet? ergh!
Kids ask me all the time. How can I make it in this biz? My answer? Learn how to use Excel… Seriously.
I’ve got an Excel spreadsheet THIS BIG, and it’s got "pain in my ass" written all over it.
Staring at a pile of paperwork, while an Excel spreadsheet tries to sneak up on me. Good morning!
http://twitpic.com/17q7az – Apparently my pivot table/chart shenanigans was just too much for poor old Excel
Spreadsheet activities with 6th grade today – Excel Battleship to review cell naming, cell formatting & using multiple sheets.
So I’ll be spending the rest of the day and likely part of tomorrow running queries and exporting results to Excel. Hooray for audiobooks!
Access, why can’t you be more like your brother Excel?!
excel graph render yet? Have frequently gotten coffee myself so my pivot had time alone to think…
My needs have apparently surpassed what a spreadsheet is capable of! Never! I will make excel do even this! *gets wizard hat*
protip: dont put your save button next to your undo button in excel
Dear Microsoft: Now I need TWO millions lines per worksheet. When is Excel 2011 hitting the market? #pleaseandthankyou
Thanks to magical Excel training, I can now make the FANCIEST of charts and/or graphs. Delicious.
turn off auto-save. A lot of times when i work in big spreadsheets excel gets hosed by the auto-save constantly running
Important rule for work: never be more than 1 alt-tab from an excel spreadsheet
An excel sheet is nothing but a list of equations, with bad variable names. Never thought of it that way.

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Excel Twitters 20100310

Debra — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 05:02:00 +0000

Those computer games disguised as Excel sound fun, but it’s hard enough to get your work done, without those kinds of distraction. And now I have to go and find a jar that I can put on my desk, for people to drop in their tips.

Things i dont enjoy- meetings, excel sheets and meetings with excel sheets!
Thought I was gonna get some work done tonight so I didn’t have to do it tomorrow. Turns out I sent myself the wrong excel sheets. #heated
I’m almost done with my undergrad career, and I still can’t make a chart in excel correctly.
this dude leading my Excel training class is so animated.. I feel like I’m in a game show.
I could use a day without Excel. Kthx.
MS Word may suck but Excel still rules. Just got reintroduced to the concept of pivot tables. Awesome tool that I need to pull out more.
I just *love* meetings where people just read through an Excel spreadsheet (in Comic Sans). Thanks for killing my brain cell by cell.
What a day! I "love" working in #excel and figuring out formulas. I doubt Jack Bauer had to deal with these kinds of headaches. #24
Boss gave me an excel task worth 4 hours of work. Figured out a nifty shortcut that got me done in 10 mins LOL
The dude sitting next to me in the lab has a super easy excel problem i wanna solve but i tried to talk to him earlier and he didnt like it
There is a goal in my group at work to stump me in Microsoft word or excel. So far, no luck.
It’s kind of funny when Excel crashes every time I try to save a workbook. You know, save frequently, in case it crashes. Yeah. Funny.
Heh! Computer games disguised as Excel and Word prove a hit with office workers – Telegraph http://bit.ly/aCsWS3
I’m so happy to have excel back on my pc. I {heart} text to columns functionality the most… #itsthelittlethings
you could probably run the world on MS Excel if you knew how to. i’ve seen spreadsheets that could blow your mind!
Sometimes, I am so helpful at work… I think I should put a tip jar on my desk. "Help with Excel, recommended $5 tip"
Moment of truth: will project supervisor think my spreadsheet is pretty? Or will it assault her eyeballs like an Excel paintball war?
God runs the Universe using a big Excel spreadsheet full of busted Macros and VBA written by the guy who was doing the job before him.
just spent an hour coming up with a complex excel eq’n, then found the same results after a minute of dicking around with pivot tables
But Numbers is a long way behind even old versions of Excel. No Pivot tables!!! The end of civilisation in my opinion!

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Excel Twitters 20100309

Debra — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 05:02:00 +0000

Didn’t we all have youthful dreams of spending our days in Excel? Or maybe that’s a result of the Norwegian work ethic (which I’d never heard of before). But if you’re struggling to create a clustered stacked chart, like today’s tweeter, there’s a link at the end of this post, that should help you.

Got a new computer at work with excel 2007. 4 the first time in my life I am computer illiterate. Not good!
Is it wrong that I think the iPad does nothing that I want it to? like, oh….word processing? Excel?
I am becoming an Excel NINJA. I can now do things with charts you can only dream of.
Considering cloning myself. After programming in Excel it can’t be that hard right?
Poli Sci midterm grades are apparently up, but hosted in an Excel spreadsheet. Guess which program I deleted months ago?
Durrrrr Excel, I didn’t want you to do exactly what I told you, I wanted you to solve my problem. Can’t you read between the lines?
Feeling fulfilled. Ever since I was a little girl I remember saying that when I grew up all I wanted was to work in Excel M-F 8-5.
So did I (my boss thinks I’m crazy for clapping at my "excel spreadsheet")
I feel like I have been sucked in, swallowed and spat out by an excel spreadsheet this afternoon. Nice.
Power just went out at work. I am so lucky I have a laptop & can continue working on this excel sheet, not the Internet. /sarcasm
I just discovered pivot tables in Excel. It feels like I’ve been living under a rock.
Gr, I hate Microsoft Excel. I couldn’t figure out how to make a bar graph. I’m going to paint.
“Document not saved.” How about a little more information, Excel? >:(
So it turns out that once your data grows to over 60mb in an excel 2007 book, everything takes a million years even with calc off #patience
needs 2 get off twitter & fb & get back 2 that excel spreadsheet of tax info. get that done & then have fun. norwegian work ethic!
My boss knew 2 brothers called Excel & Enter. Do they have sisters called Alt & Shift, and parents called Caps Lock & Delete?
Dear Apple: why do none of the function keys work in Excel for Macs? When I hit F2, I do not want a brighter screen.
Granted this is the same class where the professor(yes, he has a PhD) said that Excel and Access were both databases.
Maybe not a stupid question, but this one makes me laugh whenever my students ask it: "Do companies really use Excel?"
Ha! Excel 2007 I’ve found something you can’t do, a clustered stacked chart. Currently trying to figure this out by my head isn’t helping
I wish I could respond the same way Excel responds to me every time someone disturbs me at work…#(Not Responding)

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Excel Twitters 20100308

Debra — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 05:01:00 +0000

These Excel tweets from the weekend show that even the hard working Excel users take a bit of time for fun and games occasionally. And I don’t know who the mystery man was, who suggested XY Chart Labeler, but it’s a free utility that every Excel user should download and install.

Finally finished with the dog baths & nail clippings. Will spring clean a bit, then will work on that "Excel for Dummies" book.
I spent the majority of my day tryig to figure out a problem in excel. This guy overhears the issue and goes: XY labeler. How did he know?
Then turn on 2nd game. Or open up Excel and get writing some code for a true cost analysis. Make it concrete. Ladies go for that.
cubeville btw, is not nearly as cute as farmville. There are no level 12 warrior pigs in cubeville. Just Excel spreadsheets & sales revenue.
Waking up early to get some work done and having Excel crash 3 times. I think it wanted me to sleep in.
I have successfully pruned the guestlist down from 50-odd to 29. I love Excel’s ‘delete row’ command!
I have an Excel spreadsheet to chronicle every concert I’ve been to. I’m pretty certain that puts me in the running for biggest dork ever.
Why yes, Excel, I’d love it if you bogged down my only burst of productivity on weeks by CRASHING EVERY FIVE MINUTES. How did you know?
Usually I’m a fan of Apple products, but Numbers is just so lacking compared to Excel, it’s unbelievable.
Is it me or does excel rarely assume the correct function when i drop data into a pivot table?
Consolidating all of my MBA career-reflection excercises into one spreadsheet. Made some interesting connections. Gotta love Excel.
MS Excel rounds it to 162.8 so it’s probably 162.9. Mind you, when you are married the wife is always right so you decide.
*rolls a 9 sided dice* (also known as generating a random number in excel)
I’m comparing pre-pay cards. Seems you pay a one-off fee, or regular fees, or per purchase, or or or or… may have to make a pivot table!
Built an excel spreadsheet for computing the full costs of a nanny share (and compare them). I’m a geek, but now she loves me for that sheet
Gotta get out of bed to go see Alice in Wonderland then somehow complete my Excel homework by tonight.
I got my Excel certification back in high school, even. I get to color code, and make graphs, and eee, yes. I love it.
Looking for someone who is an excel expert who can write a simple (or maybe complicated?) macro
Your copy of Excel should not say "non-commercial use" when presenting at a biz networking event.
Okay, so I’ve got an essay, a presentation, and an excel project to work on, but by God this Halo isn’t going to play itself.

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Excel Twitters 20100306

Debra — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 05:02:00 +0000

Apparently one tweeter didn’t like the pivot table presentation at Ignite Minneapolis. I’d never heard of that event before, but if they include pivot tables, it must be good! Now I have to go and try to straighten my fingers.

I have all this fancy software, and I always end up using Excel for everything.
our dependence on excel and calculators is astonising….an outdated thing called brain doesnt work at all now
Ok my computer teach turned out pretty cool. She might not know how to work excel but she’s giving me credit for my wrong asnwers on my test
Aside from the pivot table guy, I’ve had a smile on my face the entire time. #ignitempls
nice cruise around lake minnetonka to escape work and the almighty excel-spreadsheet-land i’ve been living in all day
as an english major, i never expected to use excel this much. i could use a course in it.
I haz mad excel skills. By which I mean I can make simple formulae. Actually have mediocre excel skills. (Nobody tell my boss)
today i have tweeted, facebooked, phones, texted and skyped, oh and Imd. TODAY I am all about communication (OR avoiding excel spreadsheet)!
My goal is to LOOK busy! *opens up excel spreadsheet with lots of different colors*
in case you were wondering. the bathroom is not an appropriate place to be talking about your excel spreadsheet.
Spring break option #1: 120-hour, caffeine fueled, currency trading bender w/ 4 monitors, 3 computers and countless charts and excel windows
Hmmm I think I’ve beaten Excel into submission, though not sure I’ve retained data accuracy… time for lunch!
using somebody’s excle is REALLY pain. especially when it is customer’s excel and they do not allow us to customise..and macro!
The Lions gave Burleson $11M. According to this sophisticated Excel spreadsheet, that’s $3.6M per TD he scored. Bargain!
sometimes it’s cathartic to empty your brain into excel
Oh Microsoft…that little "x" that you decided to add to your new Excel spreadsheet file type caused me hours of unneeded frustration.
Sometimes I imagine what it would be like if Excel did all the good stuff it does, but also didn’t piss me off all the time
Did I really just get in a fight over an excel sheet? God I’m a dork. Off to shove myself into a locker.
been working on an excel spreadsheet literally for 7 hours. i can no longer straighten my fingers.

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Excel Twitters 20100305

Debra — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 05:02:00 +0000

Yes, I’ve absent-mindedly tried to copy and paste from Excel to a piece and paper, just like today’s Excel tweeter. It didn’t work for me either.

i’m going to pass out if i dont start some excel work…
Excel is a curiously terrible program. Simple things like putting a title on a chart’s legend require a degree in h4xx0rzing to accomplish.
Autoshapes is the most underrated feature of MS Word and Excel
Oh, gross, I just accidentally opened Excel.
Silly me: Just tried to copy sth from Excel to a handwritten note w/cmd+c and cmd+v. It did not work!
Am I the only one that uses Excel to chart hypothetical revenue IF such-and-such happens or IF you make such-and-such sales per month?
I fell asleep at 4, meant to get up at 5, just woke up at 9 and haven’t even started my excel sheet. do the math
really? You’re in a deep enough science class to require excel? Cool!
Getting the hang of Excel. Not too good w/using SIN, COS or TAN functions tho. But maybe that’s b/c I was never good w/those to begin with.
i hate when people make/keep garbage excel sheets. a little formatting and word wrap can do wonders for presentation and understandability.
When you stare into an Excel spreadsheet long enough you start to see little colonies of people growing in each cell. #fb
Teaching Excel is tiring.
Working out the VBA to create multiple charts. You’d think this is the kind of capability Excel would have out of the box.
same thing I reckon. We’ve only called them charts since excel came along. There are no graphs in excel.
You know the job’s urgent when… the Art Director is using Excel to chart up stuff.
Worked out how to calculate the straightline distance between two points on the earth’s surface using Excel. For 24,500 separate points!
Idly wondering how many person-hours have been lost over the years to dealing with Excel’s stripping of leading ‘0’s from zipcodes
Figured out how to make a budget spreadsheet in Excel. Now if only I had an income. *looks at GMail box for job replies*
You know you use excel too much when you press the = button before you put the numbers in on a calculator

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Excel Twitters 20100304

Debra — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 05:02:00 +0000

Bad day in Excel twitters, with plenty of errors, swearing and drinking. Or maybe that’s just an average day. Anyway, how’s your day going?

It’s worrying how satisfying I am finding getting a macro to work in excel :s. Click, flashy screen, success, woo! #geek #tragic
Spent the last 20 minutes showing a guy I work with how to change the font size in Excel He spent the whole morning trying to figure it out
Excel on this sh*tty office PC has me so mad I could kick a kitten. Trust me when I saw how uncharacteristic this is of me.
Excel Spreadsheet XML giving me fits. "Bad Value" is not a helpful error message. What made it bad?
I made an $11,000 error in an excel spreadsheet.. How’s your day going? #ineedadrink.
What’s more exciting than making an excel spreadsheet about fish skeletons at 11:07 at night?
Hehe! Finished my Excel workbook that will help me win the backstage Lady GaGa tickets! It’ll predict video views based on trends
i thought i had a foul mouth. students working on Excel project letting it fly.
I want to go all Office Space on Microsoft Excel right now. I will literally pay LT not to make me fix this formatting. Literal cash money.
Oh metrics, how I love thee. Spending the day making Excel sing with custom software. Lesson: IT Drop-outs can make GREAT marketers.
I just wasted an hour of my life in an Excel spreadsheet before realizing I was given the wrong numbers. dammit!!!
Sorry 2 say it, but I hate 2 b u, with that spreadsheet. I am seriously close to banning EXCEL in office, Ssheets get 2 large
I just got freaking iChatted about putting ‘$1,000′ into an Excel spreadsheet. No joke. Because NOBODY ELSE CAN DO IT.
Excel does charts. crap ones. you can dropshad text if you want but bugger having control over size, scale, spacing… MS FAIL
why can’t i attach an Excel spreadsheet to a facebook message?!?!?!?!?
My 2nd day in the job & the Excel spreadsheet I was working on all day crashed & burned. If #Windows7 was your idea, I hate you.
Curious to know what it says about me that I’d rather open Excel & create a spreadsheet w/formulas than multiply & divide in my head?
finsihed all my in class excel work…seriously SUCH a joke!!!! the text book doesn’t even tell you the most effcient way to do each task…
Client 2 me "you good at charts in excel?" Me "um, 1st degree nerd-belt here. i use charts for lifting regimes" Client: "I’m not surprised"
A Pivot Table cannot overlap another Pivot Table – why is this my problem Microsoft?

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Excel Twitters 20100303

Debra — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 05:02:00 +0000

Are fancy-dancy charts better or worse than professional looking charts? You should know the answer to that if you’re going to attract the ladies with your incredible Excel skills. But maybe the fashion designer who uses Excel will be impressed.

I’d like to conclude now that Excel is idiot proof. Unfortunately, most of the people in my I.T. class are far beyond “idiot”.
OK my current version of Excel has fewer features than my previous version. What’s with that eh Ballmer?
Although my awesomeness was impacted when I tried to show him my spreadsheet & found that Excel had eaten every single piece of my data.
Ok then, hot water tank sounds like my work pc trying to run excel, and the fridge is making Tardis like noises. Exterminate.
I thought Excel was my biggest enemy… but then I met Salesforce.
Ha me too. We always get questions about Excel. I’m like yeah um please hold.
Tech Night is coming up this Thursday March 4 @ The Lewes Library!! We will be discussing MS Excel.. yeah I know.. I didn’t pick the topic..
i always knew that, some day, i was going to somehow attract the ladies through my incredible excel skills. i think today may be that day.
I’ve done a 200row excel before.
My keyboard and I are NOT on good terms with Excel 2007. Just give me unlimited rows and I’ll take 2003 back. #FB
Don’t you just hate it when you click the wrong thing in Excel and a mahooosive spreadsheet needs to recalculate
I’m sure that this is all wrong, but I’m plopping it into an Excel spreadsheet and calling it done. WHATEVA!
For those that think Google Spreadsheet is equiv to MS Excel. You need to learn Excel for more than just a table you could build in Word.
“is that in access?” uh no – that’s an excel spreadsheet w/ filters & pivot tables. “oh, looks like access” #headdesk
I work in Excel all day and when clients are using 2003 I want to break their fingers. Get with the times people.
Fashion designer Eugenia Kim uses Microsoft Excel to design her collection. How does this work?!? http://bit.ly/9iusbN
Microsoft Excel has gone rogue…completing my work tasks has become quite the endeavor!
And?? If one more person tells me “Excel is broken – the formula doesn’t work!” I’m going to scream!
You just don’t know how to use #Excel properly. Mostly that’s why people hate something. They can’t understand it!
Are there any sites where I can find ‘fancy-dancy’ comparison chart templates for excel?

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