Excel Humor

Excel Twitters 20080927

ByDebra Dalgleish

Another week in the world of Excel Twitters, with the usual moaning and groaning, and the occasional high five. Innocent children are lured into the scary world of charts and spreadsheets, and Excel is simultaneously creating and solving all the world’s problems. And no, that wasn’t me in the coffee shop.

Patiently Waiting

  • downloading the 60 day trial of Excel. 400 KB, wow! oh wait, that’s just the download tool. 900 MB. hate download managers.
  • I spend 90% of my time waiting for excel to finish thinking

Please Send Help

  • Actually found something in Excel that I cannot do. But nobody else can either, so we’ve reached the conclusion that it just can’t be done.
  • needs to make friends with a Microsoft Excel genius. And soon.
  • I’ve never really had to use it before… and now my brother works for M$ on excel… but he’s not picking up his phone…

High Finance

  • found out that the formula was wrong in excel today…that means a bigger bonus!
  • my boss’s boss to me at 8:37 am: “Can you build me a spreadsheet that has all the AIG, WaMu, and Lehman exposure by 3 pm?” Excel ninja time!
  • is drinking beers while I watch my girlfriend pound out a budget in Excel. EXCITING!

Dealing With Data

  • Successfully created a spreadsheet in Excel with macros! I have conquered the craptacular world of plate reader data! WooT!
  • Torture data long enough and it will confess to anything- excel teacher.
  • Wrapping up my data slinging day. Put all of the Excel cells in a blender and hit the “Liquify” button… and Bob’s my uncle.

Uncharted Territory

  • I can see the graph I want to make in my head…why won’t excel do it?
  • had a great time helping 2nd graders graph their survey results using excel. Wondering about a follow-up.
  • For those of you futzing with Excel on a Friday afternoon: “Some charts look like a pie and you know that’s sweet” http://is.gd/3bXK Ed. note: Pivot tables need a theme song too!
  • Huge UI blunder in Excel: Per-chart interpolation settings are in *application* preferences. Oh, and this isn’t documented anywhere.

Excel Is Awesome!

  • omg! found the battlestar galactica font! even bigger high than figuring out an excel function earlier in the day.
  • Man i just did something awesome with Excel, and i Looked around and there was no one to celebrate my nerdery. Sad.
  • Figured out how to make Excel calculate exponential moving averages. Now I just have to seed the data. Finesse beats brute force – who knew?

Or Not!

  • I now believe that the ability to work on an Excel spreadsheet for 6+ hours is a gigantic step BACKWARDS in evolution…
  • Overcomplicating life through the use of excel.
  • if you don’t keep track of your lies, they’ll get you… looks like a job for MS Excel
  • Crazy coffee shop lady was talking to Excel. Now she’s eating her hair. Scary world.

Similar Posts