Excel Humor

Excel Twitters 20090110

ByDebra Dalgleish

Apparently there was a big event in San Francisco last week, that had something to do with apples. The attendees did lots of tweeting about iWork and Numbers. It’s way better than Excel. Or not. They’re torn.

And yes, Dick, I saw your Twitter. Maybe next time you can write an Excel haiku, and I’ll include it for sure.

Goodbye Excel

  • I’m ashamed to admit I much prefer Microsoft Excel over iWork Numbers.
  • Goodbye Excel, Numbers now has everything I need. In fact Goodbye Office Forever!
  • My love for Excel and my love for Apple laptops are a frustrating combination.
  • I’m bilingual – Excel at work, Numbers at home. Tho I Must Confess that I am more skilled with Excel.

Name That Colour

  • Working on an excel document highlighting cells red or green. Except I’m color blind with those two colors. This should be lots of fun!
  • Vlookup. Whoever named excel functions should be forced to use them with same poor help files everybody else does.
  • Some excel lovers just can’t get the ‘less is more’ concept. I just received a work sheet with more colors and images than a birthday card…
  • i’m convinced that microsoft excel was named in a brilliant flash of irony while its testers were waiting for basic calculations to complete
  • i hate how in MS Excel the undo button is universal across all open excel docs. why would i want to undo something in a different excel doc?

Global Domination and Other Uses

  • trying to perfect my excel skills in creating a HR dashboard. I suck at excel unfortunately.
  • Just finished hours of wrestling with church 09 Ad/Publicity budget for annual meeting; what did cavemen ever do without Excel??
  • made a really awesome list of household chores. How much time can I kill putting them into calendar form in Excel? Google Calendar? Or both
  • Excel is to databases what measuring the walls is to carpet fitting
  • hah! my husband is teaching Excel to our 6 year old (to organize his painstaking charts of airplane info and other facts)
  • I’m amazed at all Excel can do. With enough know-how, one could plot global domination using nothing but spreadsheets…

Version Issues

  • Access 2007 is actually awesome. Excel’s not bad. But Word sucks.
  • Fixing Excel grids again. I swear I spend about 10 hours a week trying to fix unknown issues between 2007 and 2003.
  • Just got my copy of Excel 2007 and can’t get the box open… It’s locked down like Fort Knox

Sweet Talk

  • Yep, talking passionately about obscure undocumented Excel data analysis features ain’t the best way to make friends at parties
  • I hope Deb mentions me on her next Excel twitters post.
  • We usually do get along, which is probably why this is so frustrating… my job is 1/2 sweet-talker, 1/2 Excel ninja. 😀

An Excel Haiku

  • A haiku about excel: Cells of numbers dance corporations sign and groan I am the macro

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P.S. Visit the Contextures website for help with an Excel VLOOKUP formula

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