Excel Humor

Excel Twitters 20090508

ByDebra Dalgleish

Excel goes well with Zombie movies, Greek vases, black holes, and of course, Twitter. But please, use its powers for good, and not for deleting patients, or ruling the world.

And if you reach the point that you’re considering strangling someone, just ask yourself, “What would Mr. Spock do?”

It’s a Horror Film

  • it’s not *your* excel that sucks. It’s excel. Bloody awful piece of life-destroying software. I’m suprised it doesn’t scream “BRAINS”
  • There’s a particular point where Excel falls apart because it can’t compute…I’ve found that point, it’s in my office.
  • Oh FFS Microsoft! Now excel workbooks don’t open. Please make software that I don’t need to trick into doing what I need.

Harder Than It Looks

  • ROFL at my Excel-illiterate colleague:changes absolute to % values in a 100% stacked bar chart with lots of textboxes pasted over the chart.
  • I was asked by a colleague to remake the graphs I made in Excel using Powerpoint. Now I’m trying not to strangle anyone.
  • I get to build some graphs. I never knew how hard Excel was.

It’s a Feature

  • Just discovered you can hide an entire workbook in Excel. What’s the use of that?! Clicked wrong button, thought I’d lost everything :-S
  • Thank god for the undo button in excel. I almost deleted an entire column of patient IDs. That would have been really bad.
  • Just found out about ‘conditional formatting’ in Excel. Cool + useful, can’t believe I hadn’t come across it before.

Social Interaction

  • i am my sister’s excel help desk on a pretty regular basis. i should start charging her .. Hahahaha
  • Excel approach: “Girl, you can pivot my table.” Excel rejection: “Our relationship is a circular reference.”
  • If he had to spend the rest of his life trying, Norman would MAKE Shirley see the beauty of an Excel Spreadsheet #badwordstostartanovel

SP2 Troubles

  • Just installed Office2007-SP2. Unfortunately, Error in Excel 2007 when saving a 2003 file containing shapes with no text is still present.
  • Grrr-Excel 2007 crashed on me. Never crashed before-now post SP2 it has. Taking minutes to recover data-is it looking for a black hole?
  • Microsoft under fire for ODF glitch in Excel: Microsoft has faced criticism for spreadsheet interoperability iss.. http://tinyurl.com/cffro2

Making a Living

  • How can I combine my love for Microsoft Excel with depictions of Homeric episodes on Greek vases, and make a living?
  • Companies’ employes, all over the world, are ruled by Excel sheet. What would happen if I become the king of Excel ?
  • Sloppy Excel spreadsheets should be cause for dismissal.
  • I just used Excel to spec out, in words, how an Excel template should calculate. My IT guys LOVE me.

Why Learn Formulas?

  • If the Excel formula that I just wrote will not fit in the 140-character Twitter box, does that make me a nerd?
  • in class getting ready to take exam.Why do I need to know formulas when I have excel
  • I just learned that VBA has a DateDiff function and got excited… sad, sad days
  • would mr. spock use excel?

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