Excel Humor

Excel Twitters 20090625

ByDebra Dalgleish

Excel wonks? I’m not sure what those are, but I hope it’s a good thing! There were a few interesting links in the Excel tweets this week, and some creative similes. One person has been using a workbook for the past 10 years. I’m sure you have a few Excel files that are older than that! Are there some really old ones that you still use regularly?

And those guys are way too late with their idea for a pivot table group in Facebook. But maybe they could organize a Twitter campaign to get Excel fixed. Now, I’m off to work on some Mad Libs.

Excel Wonks

  • I know, I know. bacon done… sandwich eaten. Progressing to the Excel spreadsheet and filtering data, hmm.
  • Another good site for fellow excel wonks – http://www.contextures.com/tiptech.html
  • I make more Excel spreadsheets by 9 AM than most people make all day. The few, the proud, the former-Marines-who-now-work-in-a-cubicle.

Little Shop of Horrors

  • This workbook has gone from merely having a size complex to just being stroppy. It’s like a difficult tennager.
  • Forced to use Excel today. It’s like going to Steve Martin’s dentist character from Little Shop of Horrors.
  • Dealing with Microsoft Excel 2000 is like using flint tools to skin a bison. Frustrating.

Thanks for the Feedback

  • Hell is spending 30 minutes and counting on the phone trying to teach my dad how to sort a column in Excel.
  • When the Microsoft Office Excel recovery programme also crashes, you know you’re in for a world of pain
  • Amount of time spent in Excel ’08 today: 20 minutes. Approx portion of that time spend sending feedback to MS about this crappy program: 67%
  • Outlook is broken and these folks want Microsoft to fix it: http://fixoutlook.org/ How about EXCEL? Fix Excel…

Chart Wizards

  • I sworn I’d never be that guy, the guy who sits in a cube all day making Excel pie charts and bar graphs – yet here I sit….
  • Really geeking it up today – Interesting way to do Multiple-baseline charts in excel http://peltiertech.com/Excel/Charts/StackedLine.html
  • Excel’s Chart Wizard is the Mad Libs of statistical graphics: template-driven and frequently yielding ludicrous results.

A Zillion Years of Excel

  • Number crunching for the past zillion years! The guy who invented excel in 1985 is single handedly responsible for birth of mgmt consulting!
  • You made me laugh. “Excel obsolete soon?” Spreadsheets jump started the PC revolution. They’re not leaving anytime soon.
  • I just started an excel spreadsheet around 10 years ago and have kept using it since.

Dog’s Breakfast

  • no need for Illlustrator, Excel is all you need http://bit.ly/No1Jg (via @jzy) Insane YouTube vid, wonder how long it actually took.
  • Made an excel spreadsheet for all the medicine my dog has to take twice a day… We’ll see how he likes those pills at 4 am tomorrow…
  • Writing data extraction routines to create skills database. As usual data captured in stupid way in spreadsheet. Excel refuge of the sloppy.

A Typical Tuesday

  • As one entrepreneur told me, “With a couple of beers and an Excel spreadsheet, you can make a lot of money in no time.” – WSJ
  • Just got a job offer from the Scottish Parliament using VB.NET and VBA – dont know which is worse :S
  • Afternoon agenda: Clean up this excel grid, go meet Sandra Day O’Connor, finish weekly POS report. You know, just your typical Tuesday.

Meet Girls

  • maybe we should start a pivot table group on facebook. great way to meet girls probably huh? 😉
  • Don’t trust anyone over thirty. At least when it comes to word or excel.
  • please remember that the last guy I went out with won me over with, “What’s your favorite Excel function?”
  • Create an interactive whiteboard Jeopardy game easily using Microsoft Excel. http://bit.ly/kD0KU

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