{"id":124,"date":"2009-05-29T21:42:49","date_gmt":"2009-05-30T01:42:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/?p=124"},"modified":"2009-09-29T11:25:51","modified_gmt":"2009-09-29T15:25:51","slug":"excel-twitters-20090529","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/archives\/2009\/05\/29\/excel-twitters-20090529\/","title":{"rendered":"Excel Twitters 20090529"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Blowguns, beer and Excel? I don\u2019t even want to know what that tweet means. There were lots of tweets about Oracle query and the moving mouse, that I first saw mentioned in <a href=\"http:\/\/spreadsheetpage.com\/index.php\/blog\/data_query_tip\/\">J-Walk\u2019s spreadsheet blog<\/a> this week.<\/p>\n<p>And there are plenty of people who complain about their bosses and co-workers, and their lack of Excel skills. I hope those work mates don\u2019t read Twitter!<\/p>\n<h3>The Mean Sheets<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Forecasted operating profit for biz venture based on already optimistic figures =$4. Excel spreadsheets don&#8217;t lie, but they sure are mean \ud83d\ude41<\/li>\n<li>Last week a client called me an &#8216;Excel ninja&#8217;. I think that&#8217;s just a few steps up from &#8216;data monkey&#8217;.<\/li>\n<li>Oh stupid excel.. couldn&#8217;t you crash after I saved the calculation???<\/li>\n<li>Trying to figure out how to reduce my data collection spreadsheet to fit on a standard A4 page. Excel estimates that will take 342 pages\u2026<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>No Pie Charts?<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Anyone know of an Excel add on or way to graph on a map of the USA?<\/li>\n<li>Excel Dashboard and Visualization Bootcamp is winding down, went very well. Have to leave for the airport. Plan to sleep on the plane.<\/li>\n<li>Within 10 minutes of waking up, i had someone asking for help with excel charts \ud83d\ude41<\/li>\n<li>Teaching new IAs how to make charts in Excel. They are thrilled with the possibilities of cone charts, 3-D bubble graphs, donut charts, etc.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Family Fun<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Got back from breakfast to find 2yo had attempted to find Sesame Street on my laptop. Instead deleted excel spreadsheet i&#8217;d been working on.<\/li>\n<li>my former husbands parents had yachts. Bought a 93 foot beauty named The Excel that had been owned by an ms excel creator.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Get With the Flow<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Rap on micro excel-never ending columns never ending rows so boring i cant get with the flow im only a intern so they dont give me dough.Fo&#8217;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;If you move your mouse pointer continuously while data is being returned to Excel, the query may not fail.&#8221; <a href=\"http:\/\/bit.ly\/3kLvR\">http:\/\/bit.ly\/3kLvR<\/a><\/li>\n<li>Microsoft Excel, much like a shark, can never stop moving or else it will die.<\/li>\n<li>I wonder why the blowgun didn&#8217;t work? Anyway, it&#8217;s pretty stupid. They just put it into an excel sheet. Probably better with beer.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Word Counts<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>abusing Excel as a text processing tool is taking its toll, some strings get cut off at a certain length \ud83d\ude41<\/li>\n<li>Doing math with excel on baby names in history-at a party (we&#8217;ve been at this for an hour)-thanks Social Security Administration!!! #geek<\/li>\n<li>Configuring library management system to accept stocktaking with Excel and Notepad. Very hi-tech.<\/li>\n<li>Put all the foul words I know into an Excel sheet, wrote\/applied a complex formula, came up with the ULTIMATE hybrid swear word..<\/li>\n<li>Writing all day. Added 1565 words yesterday. Would have been more if not distracted by creating excel file to track word count.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>VBA Discoveries<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Excel macros &#8211; both bane and boon, depending on how badly they screw up.<\/li>\n<li>Astrophysics: String Theory was discovered by a VBA developer. After all&#8230; everything is just a String<\/li>\n<li>after checking my comprehensive debugging notes for this excel macro (&#8220;s_ed = 2\/1\/2010 &lt;&#8211; WTF?!&#8221;), i&#8217;ve finally solved this stupid thing!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Who\u2019s the Boss?<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Funny thing about my work. I&#8217;m not allowed to call a shovel a shovel. I&#8217;m told it&#8217;s an Excel spreadsheet.<\/li>\n<li>Hectic at work. Hate budgeting presentations made by people who do not know to use Excel Solver. Glad that day ends at 2pm for the CHL Final<\/li>\n<li>today i learned that my boss does not know how to add. seriously. she even used an excel spreadsheet and still got it wrong.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.contextures.com\/xlGifts.html\">Excel gifts and geek gadgets<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Blowguns, beer and Excel? I don\u2019t even want to know what that tweet means. There were lots of tweets about Oracle query and the moving mouse, that I first saw mentioned in J-Walk\u2019s spreadsheet blog this week. And there are plenty of people who complain about their bosses and co-workers, and their lack of Excel &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/archives\/2009\/05\/29\/excel-twitters-20090529\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Excel Twitters 20090529&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-124","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-excel-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=124"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":144,"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124\/revisions\/144"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}