{"id":96,"date":"2009-02-21T21:20:01","date_gmt":"2009-02-22T01:20:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/?p=96"},"modified":"2009-09-07T21:21:00","modified_gmt":"2009-09-08T01:21:00","slug":"excel-twitters-20090221","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/archives\/2009\/02\/21\/excel-twitters-20090221\/","title":{"rendered":"Excel Twitters 20090221"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Excel can cure you, or make you sick. It can ruin your social life, or help you find a celebrity match. Candy, fish, beer and movies \u2013 Excel can help with almost anything. Just remember, hotties hate Excel, and a geek is cheaper than a book.<\/p>\n<h3>Excellent Medicine<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Suffering from Excel myopia. This is a well known medical condition.<\/li>\n<li>is feeling better than this morning. I&#8217;m sure an afternoon of excel will change that.<\/li>\n<li>A weekend packed with awesome plans became a weekend packed with herbal tea and taxes. Hoping Excel will kill my stomach bug&#8217;s will to live.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Purgatory<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Excel was defiantly designed by the peeps who run Purgatory. One does not know hell till one succumbs to Access \ud83d\ude1b<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m with you. There are certainly times when I would rather watch &#8220;Baby Einstein&#8221; videos than look at Excel spreadsheets.<\/li>\n<li>I just got out of an Excel\/WinXP support question by telling them &#8220;I&#8217;m a Mac user&#8221;. It was as if I had said &#8220;I know less than you.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Eye Candy<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>I find Gant charts very left brain&#8230; and I don&#8217;t know what my brain is but neither it nor Excel &#8216;think&#8217; like me \ud83d\ude09<\/li>\n<li>Collecting bags of M&amp;Ms for an Excel workshop for elementary teachers this afternoon. Charting number of each color, graphing, then eating!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Excel is Divine<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Parents out there I cannot stress this enough, if you teach your kids nothing else teach them Excel! Most important tool in business<\/li>\n<li>Best tool besides Undo in Excel? Format Painter&#8230;followed by Paste Special and Paste Special\/Transpose<\/li>\n<li>Being able to do simple things in Excel around the office allows me to stay indispensable, which is nice.<\/li>\n<li>I have three bibles&#8230;the Holy, Access and Excel. Seriously, the software &#8220;Bible&#8221; series by Wiley has never failed me. Check them out.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Something Fishy<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>I&#8217;m afraid the excel teacher guy is going to spontaneously combust. His pivot table excitement level seems dangerously high.<\/li>\n<li>My favorite sushi restaurant has online menus in Excel! I love them even more now that I can make a pivot table of all the rolls.<\/li>\n<li>Just used Google docs to make a Fish and Chip order list spreadsheet &#8230;. with a PIVOT TABLE!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Social Life<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>hoping that no hotties find out that I&#8217;m spending my long weekend learning about Excel macros. hotties HATE excel.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m updating my Excel to Twitter add-in, but no blog posts planned this weekend<\/li>\n<li>someone @microsoft saw my twitter complaint about excel and posted something at getsatisfaction <a href=\"http:\/\/tinyurl.com\/cm29p6\">http:\/\/tinyurl.com\/cm29p6<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Tea and Taxes<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Holy crap, dorkiness achieved. Massive excel spreadsheet of all my movies and tv shows complete with algorithms for rand # generator ranges<\/li>\n<li>creating an excel spreadsheet of girlfriends of all my celebrity crushes so I can narrow what they have in common and modify accordingly.<\/li>\n<li>Have my virtual assistant from india copying all of my ratings from Ratebeer to an excel document. Next step &#8211; get it into @97bottles.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Clueless VBA<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>has sold out and joined a VBA forum. These geeks know their stuff and cheaper than a book<\/li>\n<li>I write code like a moron sometimes&#8230;.VBA needs an infinite loop breaker of some kind too just for people like me when I do something dumb.<\/li>\n<li>Holy Hell if you haven&#8217;t had to deal with Excel dates in your code, feel lucky!<\/li>\n<li>Think I should have tested my clueless vba on one or two records, not all 146\u2026<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>_____________<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Excel can cure you, or make you sick. It can ruin your social life, or help you find a celebrity match. Candy, fish, beer and movies \u2013 Excel can help with almost anything. Just remember, hotties hate Excel, and a geek is cheaper than a book. Excellent Medicine Suffering from Excel myopia. This is a &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/archives\/2009\/02\/21\/excel-twitters-20090221\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Excel Twitters 20090221&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-96","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-excel-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=96"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":97,"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/96\/revisions\/97"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=96"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=96"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/exceltheatre.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=96"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}