Excel Humor

Excel Twitters 20080920

ByDebra Dalgleish

As summer comes to an end (well in the Northern Hemisphere), people are huddled over their spreadsheets, assessing their careers, and cooking up plans of world domination, one co-worker at a time. This week’s Twitters show that thoughts have also turned to food and drink, with spreadsheet on the side. A long winter is ahead — we have to stay warm any way we can!

An Illustrious Career

  • I am having so much fun generating Excel spreadsheets full of data that no one will ever look at…State government at its best!
  • When kids dream of becoming game designers, I bet they don’t dream of sitting around arguing and enthusing about particular Excel functions.
  • Went on a job interview – total bomb. Guess I don’t know Excel as well as I thought.
  • google analytics guy just called out my old analyst job verbatim. analyst=”monkey sorting data in excel 90%, bathroom 10%”
  • Looking back at old jokes I wrote for standup- I have about 150 single space pages and a multidimensional excel analysis of the bits 😎

Stop It!

  • In Excel “Insert Copied Cells” and “Paste” are not the same, one will cover over the stuff you don’t want to lose. Don’t mix them up. ARGH!!
  • Stupid thing about working out of excel spreadsheets. The one dumbass that comes along and sorts only one or two columns = FAIL..
  • There’s no need to have an excel grid with 6 tabs, 100 rows of information in each tab with 4 different color codes. Stop it.

Wining and Dining

  • is happy to help out with all Excel issues – and he cooks too!
  • Is there anyway to make Excel’s graphs look nicer? I’m now looking at a graph of Russia’s GDP and it’s like mashed blood pudding.
  • Honey Bunches of oats, Hot Chip, and Excel seems to be the winning combo
  • I think I need to take Excel out drinking and hope we don’t respect each other in the morning.
  • Rocking out to Al Green. Somehow my excel budget worksheet is so much sexier now

Excel’s Evil Side

  • I got my co-worker addicted to Excel. The OCD shall inherit the earth.
  • my pivot table pickup line usually works wonders
  • Board here…staff on best behavior…meaning not so much Twitter today because it doesn’t look like work. Need Twitter disguised as Excel.
  • One step closer to creating an Excel function so convoluted that no one will ever truly understand what it is doing.

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