Excel Humor

Excel Twitters 20090131

ByDebra Dalgleish

Excel, chocolate fish or glue gun? Which would you choose?

Cabin fever seems to be taking hold on Excel users who Twitter. Their winter-addled brains imagine that Excel is a living, breathing, evil being. But that’s just silly. Excel is a bit cranky sometimes, but it’s not evil.

More people must be using Excel 2007, because the “loss of fidelity” message gets a few mentions every week. Ah yes, we Excel users are a pretty funny bunch. Or maybe you just need a sense of humour to survive Excel hell.

Ruh Roh

  • couldn’t understand why my computer was running so slow, but after a check of task Manager I discovered I had 16 instances of Excel running!
  • a while back i created a super secret excel file for work. guess i did a good job of hiding it, because i can’t find it anywhere. *grumble*
  • an officemate collapsed whilst doing his excel worksheet…tsktsktsk. it’s not worth it, man
  • ruh roh. grumbling about Excel on Twitter and 48 hrs later I am getting spam about Excel training.
  • waiting for my pivot table to return from it’s self imposed exile, where it’s gone to i know not just that it’s taken 100% of my cpu with it

Happy Times

  • Having a sneaky chocolate fish and operating under the premise that if there’s an Excel spreadsheet open, everyone thinks you’re working.
  • Just was given three bottle of Hornitos for solving an Excel related problem.
  • I haven’t been this happy in weeks: my OLAP pivot table thing actually has the correct data in it.

It’s All In Your Mind

  • Sometimes I think MS Excel reads my mind and deliberately does the opposite of what I want.
  • pretty sure my excel model has become self-aware; let me know if you see any terminators around…
  • Any guy who writes Excel macros is on the GOOD page in my book! “Getting” VisiCalc in the summer of 1982 totally changed my life!
  • Wrangling with VBA in excel so that people don’t have to think.

Prepare Yourself

  • Feeling thwarted- I quit being an accountant because it sucks rocks, but here I sit creating an Excel spreadsheet for the play I’m designing
  • Never ever ever think it’s a good idea to put all your debt into excel, then hit the Sum function without preparing yourself for it first
  • too bad building a model of a spacecraft means a series of spreadsheets in excel. Pipecleaners, cardboard & a glue gun would be more fun 🙂

Very Disappointing

  • If stupid MS Excel had some nifty way of exporting graphs as PNG or JPG files, that’d be so freaking awesome, right now it’s all a bit FAIL.
  • seriously? I can’t copy entries from name manager from one workbook to another? Excel 2007- i’m very disappointed in you.
  • Only having mean in Excel tables pivot tables to show ‘average’ stinks. A single outlier can throw off the summarized data.

Comedy of Errors

  • puzzled by Microsoft Office’s dire warnings of a “loss of fidelity” in my Excel worksheet. Should I reposition my antenna? Use reel-to-reel?
  • “Microsoft Office Excel is currently recovering your documents.” When you’re done with that Microsoft Office will you recover my couch?
  • I want to go back in time and make sure the mother of the guy who invented Excel never falls in love with his father.
  • Mired in Excel spreadsheets. There is a fine line between BI and BS.

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