Excel Humor

Excel Twitters 20090314

ByDebra Dalgleish

Mmmm…Pi Day. Didn’t see it mentioned in this week’s Excel tweets, but pie charts were discussed. Friday the 13th made an appearance, and there were several comments about Microsoft’s patch that didn’t include an Excel fix. And someone found a pivot table answer on the Contextures web site, so that caught my attention.

Now, where’s my pie, dagnabbit? (Maybe the Google guru can find the correct spelling for that.)

Definitely Unlucky

  • I think surfing while working is my brains way of breathing, like a whale surfacing from the depths of excel for air. Thank you, popurls.
  • why does lunch hour go so fast…but excel documents stop time
  • Friday 13th is definately unlucky for me. All alone in the office with Excel spreadsheets…
  • Microsoft won’t fix Excel bug on Patch Tuesday http://ff.im/-1qblA

Pi Charts

  • The charts I am making with Numbers make my old Excel charts look with finger paintings.
  • is working on Excel and graphs…feels like I’m doing GCSE Maths again, without the bad hair and awkward banter with the 16 year old boys
  • ClipArt? That’s bold man. I prefer to wow my audiences with lots of pie charts and Excel tables. 30+ columns deep.

I Know Excel

  • I am the Excel god of my workplace. I solve all problems with my amazing powers of freezing panes and choosing rows to repeat at top.
  • “anyone want a toddler, slightly bossy!” …Does he know Excel? Send him over.
  • Very much enjoyed being an Excel guru at work today. Specially because no-one noticed that each time it was preceded by being a Google guru!
  • wants to know if anyone is hiring comic book reading, video game playing, cartoon drawing, script writing actors? I know Excel.
  • Quote of the day: I need you to show me how to use Excel to do my job? / What do you need to do? / Don’t know!

Would a Pivot Table Help?

  • Can’t get this Excel Pivot table to work. I don’t want to count, I want to sum. Dag nabit…
  • Deleted items remain in Excel pivot table dropdowns. Contextures to the rescue http://www.contextures.com/xlPivot04.html
  • Boss just learned about pivot tables but cannot grasp the concept. Me: The fax machine is broken. Him: Would a pivot table help with that?

Write Another Macro

  • VBA is Joel Spolsky’s fault! :-O
  • Today I’m doing my best to write bug-free VBA code. Microsoft did not make that easy.
  • I think I love Excel a little too much and should seek help – or I could just write another macro to do it for me…

The Right Tool

  • Hmm. How about somebody publish the excel-ized version of Dickens or Dostoevsky? Kinda like a super-anatomical CliffsNote:D.
  • if you find yourself putting a bulleted list in an Excel field, then is Excel really the right tool for you?
  • Am helping my father sort comics. Excel is my friend!
  • Chat excerpt: “Dude, I’m an engineer, I do my freaking GROCERY LISTS in excel”

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