Excel Humor

Excel Twitters 20091109

Hmmm. “Boaring but neccisary.” Perhaps that tweeter should be doing spelling tutorials, instead of Excel. Or maybe they could create an Excel file of swear words, where spelling isn’t so important.

And if anyone asks you how to insert an Excel sheet into Word, you can refer them to Shauna Kelly’s Word tips website, for that and other useful tutorials.

Anyway, it’s been a while since I posted a collection of Excel-themed tweets, so I hope you enjoy these. And remember, bosses like charts.

Please Help

  • I spent all day working on a huge excel spreadsheet this week & then pressed "don’t save" when shutting down. nearly wept!
  • Trying to make three totally different spreadsheet match. Excel shouldn’t be guesswork, but this is.
  • Friends: Am currently trapped in the library by an evil Excel spreadsheet. Far from any vending machine. Stomach inverting. Please help.

The Art of Charts

  • I know, I love Excel but some things do suck. Gantt charts are ok though, especially if it looks like your doing loads of work.
  • That’s because Excel is trying to tell you that pie charts are the Comic Sans of the graphical display of quant information world.
  • Learning to create charts in Excel. Surprisingly, not a life skill taught to people who major in poetry. Let me be a lesson to you, kids!
  • After putting up some dynamic charts and calling them dashboard, it dawns upon me that its more of an art than excel skills.

Emotionally Invested

  • It’s also amazing how emotionally invested you can become in a single Excel spreadsheet!
  • just got really excited about an excel sheet i made. then realized how sad that was. now i’m depressed (with an awesome spreadsheet)
  • Wow I just got handed a spreadsheet which is pretty much an application in itself, had no idea you could do this with excel.
  • Watching a real expert manipulate an Excel spreadsheet… it’s almost performance art. Waou.

Excel-ent Comedy

  • I can see Rikers Island out my office window,very inspiring during this heavy excel spreadsheet session .typing in Cells looking at Cells
  • i’m offering 5 dollars for someone to come over and do microsoft excel spreadsheet for me. i’ll even come pick you up. PLEASE.
  • Bill Gates and Montgomery Burns have launched a new spreadsheet application for the Nuclear power industry, it will be called ‘Excel-ent’

Boaring But Neccisary

  • I am doing online tutorials for excel, boaring but neccisary
  • I just experienced 30 minutes of training on how to format an Excel spreadsheet. Shouldn’t even the lowest common denominator know that?
  • Completed Exel training & am now an Excel greenbelt! I can break a thin piece of wood in half with my spreadsheet. Beware!
  • Ok, you’re Masters students in a library program – you should know how to find different sheets in an EXCEL workbook. COME ON!!!!!!!!

Pivot Table Fetish

  • also, I’m a little concerned that my husband has a pivot table fetish. more concerned that he chose to reveal it to me at my parents’ house.
  • Apparently, someone ASKED for this pivot table training. For the record, it was NOT me.
  • It’s okay. If I were in charge of the world, I’d create a way to calculate median on an excel pivot table. Just saying.

This Scares Me

  • Peeking through her fingers at her content audit spreadsheet. It’s like excel went out, got drunk and slept with a cheap search engine.
  • Hm. Someone just sent me an Excel spreadsheet full of localised swear words, and I’ve no idea why.
  • If I knew all it would take for my kid to try tomatoes was a dandy Excel chart, I’d have done it sooner! http://is.gd/3P1Bs
  • My wife made an Excel spreadsheet to track McDonalds Monopoly pieces. This scares me and explains our cholesterol issues.

Macro Evolution

  • I just wrote 20 lines of vba code to replace around 1/2 million formulas in my Excel finance workbook, awesome.
  • Macro evolution is what happens when you send an unprotected Excel spreadsheet to guys in the field. But the changes are never beneficial.
  • how much excel workbook coding does it take to go insane? I must be pretty close.

Bosses Like Charts

  • people running at work…surely nothing in accountancy is urgent? ‘I’ve lost my calculator!’/’My Excel spreadsheet won’t print on A3!’
  • I’ve learned something in my 10-year career as an Excel guru: Bosses like charts.
  • Coworker: "Do you guys know if you can insert an excel spreadsheet into word?" Me: I dunno, take the time it took 2 walk over here and try.
  • i just taught a ‘senior associate’ how to insert a row in an Excel spreadsheet. if i find out she makes more than I do, we have a problem.

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