Excel Humor

Excel Twitters 20091116

Flight of the Bumblebee, Excel haiku, quadratic calculators – there were some high class Excel tweets this week. Of course, there were some not-so-high class tweets too – wiggly lines, insanity by excel and yelling at homework.

But don’t worry if your balances are off by $100 or so, you probably have different versions of Excel!

No Sharing in Excel

  • Note to self; Never ever EVER use excel workbook sharing EVER AGAIN.
  • Trying to populate an excel spreadsheet from conflicting, inaccurate, incomplete data sources …. Arrghhhh
  • Alright … it took 4 days and about 50 hours of work, but this stupid Excel sheet is finally done! Could have done it in .NET within 3 hrs.
  • When I close my eyes it’s like the "Flight of the Bumblebee" sequence from Fantasia, only Excel spreadsheet cells instead of piano keys.

Chart Problems

  • scours the net looking for any info on how to fix Excel 2007 so that it doesn’t forget that a given workbook has names for its chart sheets.
  • Injury: 20+ tabs of carefully named excel graphs inexplicably renamed chart 1, chart 2, etc. Insult: Excel help asks me to be facebook fan.
  • Bar charts that don’t start at 0 often have a wiggly line on the y-axis. What’s that called/how do I get one on MS Excel?

Insanity By Excel

  • I talk to myself when I’m doing analysis in Excel. Problem is, I’m at one long table with about four random people who prob think I’m crzy.
  • Work #haiku of the day: Export Contacts Fail / Hurls the excel data out / No rhyme or reason.
  • Excel is 24 years old. Why are we still calling them workbooks? Who does spreadsheets on paper? What spreads? Acoustic guitar.
  • Is "insanity by Excel" a reasonable alibi?

Top Formulas

  • I think the subtotal() function in Excel has to be one of the top formulas. Essential for any calculated filtered content.
  • I love it when you input a circular reference in Excel. It totally freaks out.
  • autofilters and the subtotal funtion – I am in Excel heaven
  • Is it wrong to use Excel’s randbetween(1,9) function for the table arrangements at our wedding?!

So Much Order

  • i know i’m a dork, but i love working in Excel. 🙂 All the rows & columns & formulas. So much order. Ahhhh
  • Proud of nerd auditor accomplishment: managed to compress a 10799 line excel workbook into 726 lines 😀
  • halfway through!! miracle. Microsoft Access does everything Excel can but only in ways that are harder and that make you feel more stupid.
  • thank goodness for excel data validation. i will no longer tolerate the screwing up of my created spreadsheets!

Refresher Course

  • Prof basically told us that to get 100% on some questions on the final, we need to find a way to sneak out and use Excel. (ie. Impossible)
  • Will attempt to finish the Excel refresher course tonight and hope I don’t get any dirty looks from anyone at work tomorrow. dun dun dun…
  • I. HATE. EXCEL. SO. MUCH. I am fairly positive I have never YELLED at my homework before. Until now. Stupid tables. Stupid formulas. Stupid.
  • How many PhDs does it take to export an address list to an Excel spreadsheet?

Inappropriate Use

  • Is the inappropriate use of Excel spreadsheets the cause of the financial crisis? http://bit.ly/14JWFA
  • First time I ever use Excel seriously and I put in a functioning quadratic calculator. I learn fast.
  • You know you’re a hopeless nerd when you set up an Excel spreadsheet with weightings and conditional formatting to help you buy a car.
  • My wife just told me that my kids are using the toyrus website to build an excel spreadsheet for their christmas lists. Loving my geek kids.

Analyze It Intently

  • Just asked someone to export her works table as excel. She made an image of it and stuck it on a spreadsheet. Sigh
  • I love looking at Excel sheets with tons of numbers and having no idea where the numbers came from. But my dept is up!!!
  • Coworker: I got $456,890. We are a hundred dollars off.Boss of me: It’s OK, I have a different version of Excel than you do.
  • Tips on how to look busy: print out an Excel spreadsheet with lots of info and walk around analyzing it intently.

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