Excel Twitters 20091124

Do your Excel files use all 1 million rows? Do any of your calculations take 46 hours? Some people are really pushing Excel to the limits in Twitter this week. Others, perhaps the smart ones, are just dancing and drinking champagne.

And now that I think about it, I’d like to know why the vertical alignment defaults to Bottom too. I can’t think of a good reason.

A is for Apple

• Apple sent me the skankiest Excel sheet order form to complete in response to my web order for Snow Leopard licences. Yuck! + missed off UK!
• In 1985 people like KPMG bought Macs just so they could run Excel. Now it’s awful… So much for progress.
• Considering class action lawsuit against Microsoft for misrepresenting Excel for Mac as actually *being* Microsoft Excel.

Living Dangerously

• Anyone have a simple way to delete duplicates on a 150K+ Excel spreadsheet without losing grasp on sanity? Anyone? I thought not. blah.
• Excel is stupidly overrated. It’s the software equivalent to the Cheesecake Factory.
• Dare I open one more Excel spreadsheet? I already have 21 open…. Ah – why not. I like to live dangerously.
• Spilled champagne on my laptop last night. Luckily it still boots this morning; I have some heavy stats work in Excel to do.

Feeling Unfulfilled

• Excel crashes everytime I try and make a pie chart. The same with word. How am I meant to do my report now?
• In trying to figure out how to do charts in excel and its hurting my head! I feel like an old person
• 3 days of extensive Excel modeling boiled down to 12 values on a chart. It got a "OK" but "needs work" from the GM. I kinda feel unfulfilled

All in the Family

• My Dad’s earnest but messy spreadsheet of wines he’s tried. Good to know that my Excel "skills" came about honestly http://twitpic.com/pyekn
• just got off the phone coaching my mom in how to move columns up in excel. took like 5 minutes to explain. lol. i love her though.
• I’ll help your dad with his BB if you’ll explain to my mom – again – how folders work. And Word. And Excel. And Outlook.
• Did I really just get a Thanksgiving dinner excel spreadsheet email from my MIL??

Formatting Features

• Is the page layout view in Excel useful to anyone?? I highly doubt it.
• (rant) Why would Excel have default cell vert align set to "Bottom"? Just to annoy me and make me change it for _each_ spreadsheet???
• It’s Saturday, but that doesn’t stop me getting excited about kb shortcuts for excel now does it? Ctrl + _ removes borders in excel.

Stuck in Class

• In Math Class, making graphs with Microsoft Excel. I am reminded of Murray from Flight of the Conchords and his ‘friends graph’.
• It took me 2 hours to do ONE excel spreadsheet, and there are 3 due at midnight! i guess I’ll just take a 33 here. Dammit.
• I spent an hour trying to find a flaw in my excel hw…only to discover the teacher gave us the wrong answer to check against :-/
• Oh toto, we are definitely not in kansas anymore. Need an excel tutor. Will pay in food and hugs.

VBA Love…and Hate

• No wonder i couldn’t figure out macros in excel… you need to enable the developer tab in the ribbon!
• It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was Excel (with Macros).
• On Excel VBA Source. Love Excel, hate Microsoft. It’s like falling in love with a member of the BNP.

New and Improved

• I suggest if you’re doing 46 hour calcs using Excel, strapping on a cluster is like adding a rocket to a tricycle: http://bit.ly/2fuVwz
• oooh Excel 2010 can do #sparklines! I am reaaally excited about this. I might actually "up"grade from Office 2003 for that!
• Not sure why Excel gave us 1M rows but doesn’t have the capacity to let us use them. Every time I try to sort by cell color it freezes.
• Office 2010 just won me over with the simplest feature. You can copy a table from the web and paste it to excel, which didn’t work in 2007.

The Office Genius

• coworker just saw this from excel: "damage so extensive, we are not able to save your work." yikes! don’t think he’d appreciate me laughing
• I learned 2 things at work today: 1 excel does whatever it chooses to do 2 my office is just the right size to dance to ‘shes like the wind’
• The problem with coming in late to the division meeting is you miss the inspirational YouTube video and catch the excel report…
• Never mind all the hugely complex maths I do all day, my boss thinks I’m a genius because I know how to UNHIDE in Excel. :-/

__________