Category: Excel Humor

There are days when real life is no fun, especially if you’re in an advanced Excel class, with a bunch of beginners. Make a few Excel charts, to pass the time.

• I wonder what percentage of #Excel files are actually spreadsheets in the true form? #BinaryBits
• YEAH!!!! After a long battle against those obnoxious numbers and percentage in Excel, I’ve finished all the charts!!!:D
• I love how Excel and PPT bring out the inner designer in people that don’t think about design. #scary
• When I’m bored, I tend to make graphs in Excel. The simple things
• Just made an Excel spreadsheet calculating expenses and stuff for each month REAL LIFE IS NO FUN YOU GUYS, DON’T GRADUATE EVER NEVER EVER
• Davina has opened excel to chart out black Friday sales. It’s getting serious now. #blackfriday
• although to interest me just give me a bike, a pencil and paper or a problem in Excel!
• Made a single giant Excel spreadsheet for the past 5 hours; truly, the life of the mind.
• Excel is a program I am convinced I will never learn how to use. In fact I don’t think I will ever get used to PC’s after 10 years of Mac
• My new supervisor acts like we’re in a classroom. Lady if I didn’t know how to do an excel spreadsheet I wouldnt have gotten hired here
• If you’re a beginner please don’t sign up for advanced excel classes #computergeek
• oh yea…I have an excel spreadsheet with stuff that I check off. Anal I know. It’s the Virgo in me lol
• You think a time traveler would leave proof in an Excel spreadsheet?
• Heh heh. How to win over people who don’t like Excel – demo them our wedding planning workbook! #EasyWin
• I’m going to start basing my life around a Gantt chart. Who knew I was so good at Excel?
• Making this Excel spreadsheet for computer class is starting to get exciting!… Just kidding this really sucks.
• Thought an excel class would teach me new things. 74 minutes into the class an we now know how to undo and save as. #fml

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Christmas Planner
• Excel Project Management

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Yes, everything works better if you organize it in an Excel spreadsheet, especially if there will be 14 people attending. So don’t pay attention to the people who are snickering.

• turn it into a pivot table! whatever you’re doing…
• I keep using Photoshop shortcuts in Excel and Excel shortcuts in Notepad++. It might be time to work on depth of skillset instead of breadth
• Cant run a pivot table correctly. I have never felt so inadequate in my life…. #excelmonkeycardrevoked
• pivot tables and vlookup can save your life when using excel…. yes i’m tweeting about an excel doc. so what. #urjudging
• I knew that Excel spreadsheet of four years of fuel logs would come in handy. I’m totally not-crazy after all!
• Impressed by my sister’s Xmas planning: excel spreadsheet, grocery shopping list, budgets. Slightly OTT but then again there’ll be 14 of us.
• Some1 just called me to complain about the excel spreadsheet I sent them being wrong- all ### where the numbers should be. #Facepalm
• I’ve color-coded an Excel spreadsheet of murders. Its like somebody knifed a rainbow.
• From tomorrow my life will be run via Excel spreadsheet. Budget, fitness regimen, daily routine, chores, to read/to watch, etc. all covered.
• I’m about to reach critical mass of geekery: watching Numb3rs and working on a Doctor Who Excel spreadsheet at the same time.
• Just geeked out after remembering how to do pivot tables and vlookups after a year of excel dormancy. Planner life>analyst life, every time.
• Christmas present planning – Ooooh I love a good excel spreadsheet to organise the festive shopping!
• Have you ever totally lost your motivation at work when you accidentally closed out of a spreadsheet without saving changes? #JustHappened
• Slightly concerned about just how excited my boss has got over the chart we’ve just created in #Excel! #EasilyImpressed
• Yes, I’m using Excel to write my grocery list/spreadsheet. I fail to see why that warrants your snickering #geek
• Know what I did at work today? I printed 7 Excel spreadsheets. I’m an overachiever.

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Related Links:

• Excel Christmas Planner
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function 

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Yes, working with Excel can be dangerous. In addition to the frequent complaints about sore eyes and headaches, you can suffer from spreadsheet shoulder. Be careful out there!

• You know the day has got to be ending soon when you open an Excel spreadsheet and it auto-labels it Book 126
• That’s right Excel charts and functions…I showed you who’s boss!! Boom. #mathswag
• Dad gets a little bit too excited by making graphs on excel…
• There is something to be said about those who take the time to make an excel spreadsheet look nice.
• Just completed online course for excel pivot tables, yep still awake
• Making an excel spreadsheet for all my classes making grade calculators. #toomuch?
• I reached a new level of nerdiness tonight… I made a graph on excel just for fun #ineedhelp #embarrassedtweet
• You know when you’re populating an excel spreadsheet and you over-complicate your formula. I’ve been doing that for the last hour.
• Look, so I just used Excel to keep score for rummy, what’s your problem?
• taught myself how to make excel pie charts now slightly obsessed making them
• Any excuse really, but yes, I’m MS Excel stupid level 2.
• When excel "encounters a problem and needs to close" and you have 19 documents open, I think it’s time to go to bed. #goodnight
• Composing a new Excel doc is really not where I wanna be at when I’m due to leave work in an hour. #spreadsheethell
• Oooooh right right. There it is. That important Excel document…the one I saved as spreadsheet.xlsx.
• A teacher at this conference said, "so there is like a graph maker in Excel?" Oh dear.
• I have the classic symptoms of ‘spreadsheet shoulder’ reminiscent of my data input days back in 2001-2008. Excel is bad for my health.

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Christmas Planner
• Excel Functions

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That tweeter makes it sound like using Excel to avoid project work is a bad thing! It’s more productive than sleeping or making coffee, right?

• I have to say that being neck-deep in a giant excel spreadsheet full of formulas and color coding is one of my fav places to be. #imanerd
• avoiding a project for work by making an excel sheet to chart the progress of said project. #efficiency
• In the future you should be able to talk to Excel & tell it how you want your graph,it would certainly save me a lot of time
• For the love of god, ALL I want to do is have custom colors in this stupid Excel file. #MSOfficeisevil
• I will be in this one excel spreadsheet pivot-tabling my brains out for the rest of my life. HOW DO I FORMAT THIS?
• accountant’s pet peeve #234: working off an excel spreadsheet that looks like it was created by a preschooler #cringing #fb
• I just learned how to make pivot tables in excel and now I’m kind of addicted to it? I don’t think I’m normal.
• Right now to make these graphs… which means Excel… which means DISASTER!!! :S lol! Xx
• Falling asleep is pretty hard, they should teach this at school NOT making pie charts with excel. My secretary can do that for me.
• The old "We built this massive table in Word but actually need in Excel" trick. Why does it always end up being MY problem?
• Blargh. A single dropped cell in my giant orders spreadsheet has sent orders the wrong way ’round the globe. Ack.
• *goes to make a coffee whilst computer loads excel spreadsheet*
• If I can open Excel then I will give my self another 15 mins. Looking at pie charts reminds me of pies; and that makes me hungry.
• For those of you who do office work, is there anything more glorious than getting an Excel document to submit to your will?
• Has anyone ever done a really sick rap with "wrap text" or any other Excel lingo? There’s a lot to work with.
• I love locking Excel spreadsheets at work. I’m so cruel.

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Functions
• Excel Project Management

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Even if you were very bad in a past life, you shouldn’t have to manually de-dupe 3500 lines of data in Excel. Maybe some big kid algebra would solve the problem.

• Take a few days off work and I lose all of my job-related skills except how to alt-tab back to excel when I hear footsteps.
• Note to self – next time when someone prints out hardcopy of excel spreadsheet, demand they give you the actual spreadsheet file
• I need to learn how to do a mail merge and I need to learn how to do charts in Excel. Tonight.
• making birthday dinner plans has to be 1 of the messiest things to do….i got my excel spreadsheet helpin me tho
• I had a nerd meltdown today. Excel won’t do what I want. Curse you microsoft for making charts so crap. Bring back Excel 2. #nerd #excel
• So i can crack almost any PC software, Design websites etc but i can’t draw a darn graph in excel. Shame
• Sent out an excel spreadsheet. A co-worker printed it, filled it out by hand, scanned it to a pdf, and emailed it back. #fml
• Excel is refusing to run. That means I don’t have to work, right? What do you mean, I should just restart my computer? Dammit.
• #Thatakwardmoment, when your boss asks you for a graph on excel, and you have no idea, how to start…any suggestions????
• There’s nothing like de-duping names in a 3500 line spreadsheet to make you lose the will to live #someonedistractme
• When I decided to do business at uni I didn’t think I would have to create the most complicated spreadsheet ever! #Stressed
• So far this week, time spent in Excel outnumbers hours writing code by a factor of infinity. I must have been very bad in a past life.
• You know you have #Twitter #problem when you see the error #VALUE! in #Excel and think it’s a trending topic…
• Why do elaborate excel spreadsheets follow me wherever I work?
• yikes. Those are brutal. Sumifs I can handle, but charts = wrestling match. Excel always wins lol
• Hey stupid intrucstions, quit telling me to construct a formula doing percentages on excel! Idk how to do that!
• I had to use big kid algebra all day at work. Apparently Excel cant do everything for me. #MathMakesMyHeadHurt

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Functions
• Excel SUM Functions

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Can you code? And do you know how to use a pivot table? Me too! We should get "I ♥ Spreadsheets mugs".

• Dear Microsoft Excel, Creating a simple bar graph should not be this difficult. Sincerlely, #pullingoutmyhair
• I love complex excel classes. I love complex excel classes. Microsoft excel is my friend. #forcedpositivethinking
• All people who work in an office should take a course "What Not To Use Excel For"
• 2 hours later and I’ve finally managed to create one decent graph using Microsoft Excel. -___-
• Over 100 pages of data between some 22 different excel files. Only 2 graphs make it to a presentation of your findings. #EngineeringProblems
• So far we ate popcorn, made a safety video, and learned about Excel pivot tables. One hour down… three to go…
• excel pivot table hell. powerful, but infuriating
• I don’t mean to brag or anything, but if there were a Miss Excel Spreadsheet prize, I’d totally win.
• i dont think people understand my love for excel… its like, the best thing in the world.
• I am helping someone with an Excel spreadsheet tonight. Now to the uneducated that Tweet may come across as boring.
• So my wife buys me a coffee mug with "I love spreadsheets" for work. Now I’m getting requests from workmates for Excel tutition. Just great.
• By ‘Excel spreadsheet’ do you actually mean excel spreadsheet? #hopingitsaeuphemismandhesnotthatboring
• Who rocks the spreadsheet? I rock the spreadsheet. I PWN Excel. Dirty data trembles and flees at the approach of my cursor. #imtoosexy4myjob
• Really love missing out one piece of data in a spreadsheet, which throws off about a million other things. Y U SO MEAN EXCEL?
• When did the thought that everyone uses Microsoft office become so popular? No I cannot open your Excel spreadsheet.
• I pretty much assume that anyone who knows how to use a pivot table can’t code.

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

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If you study computers for 7 years, and can’t make an Excel chart, your accountant will not be pleased. The Spreadsheet Queen will be disappointed too.

• my job title should just be "Spreadsheet Queen", and I could blast music and wear what I want as I create magic in Excel.
• Wow. I just found a budget spreadsheet I wrote in 2006 (projected out to 2012) and it’s totally spot-on. And it was written pre-kid, in NYC!
• I’m gonna go home and make a spreadsheet so epic that no one will know what to do
• It’s amazing how satisfying it is to really nail an Excel problem.
• Tech guys here at work mentioned Gandalf in reference to Excel wizards. They would.
• Whomever added the "Page Layout" view option to Excel, A SPREADSHEET PROGRAM, should be fed to the wolves.
• I can work on a spreadsheet or sit here and watch videos online. Guess which I will probably choose.
• The artsy side of me made a bracelet tonight, the accountant side made an excel workbook to keep track of my inventory costs…
• Ok… one guy just walked into my office to borrow my calculator so that he can work on his Excel spreadsheet #CantMakeThisStuffUp
• I can’t make a graph on excel. Even after doing computers as a subject. for 7 years #SomeFactsAboutMe
• Just taught someone via text message how to leverage an Excel pivot table. If you can’t teach something via text, you don’t know it.
• A spreadsheet based on faulty assumptions is a spreadcheat.
• Today I made a clustered, stacked bar chart in Excel. …which doesn’t actually exist in Excel. 😀 #trickerywin
• I didn’t bother to spend 3 days making a spreadsheet with all of my income and expenses this year. My accountant is Not Pleased.
• I wish there’s a Siri for MS Excel. Siri, create pivot table. Siri, sort data. Siri, text to columns. Siri, break links.
• For the first time in my life, I’m actually making those little excel charts with my schedule on it. It’s depressing me.

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Related Links:

• Cluster Stack Chart
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Templates

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Be careful! If you switch your wedding planner spreadsheet from Excel 2003 to Excel 2007, you might have to change the colour of the bridesmaids’ dresses.

• It grinds my gear when excel charts aren’t consistent.
• Who needs breakfast when you have lab reports & Microsoft Excel? #FML
• Who knew one excel spreadsheet could evoke: MASS HYSTERIA #collegelife
• Youtube won’t work & I’m relying on it to teach me how to use excel. This is not good, esp since I’m going to work in 20 mins.
• My dad made me an excel spreadsheet of all the prices of the colleges I have considered, it is very helpful. My dad is so smart 🙂
• Making a spreadsheet on Excel has to be the boringest thing in the world. N yes boringest is a word now
• Why wouldn’t they just make the same colors for Excel 2003 & 2007? I honestly have to re-do my whole workbook to make it match??
• I need to make an inventory of what’s in my closet. Thank God I know how to work Excel.
• Jusy prepped up my Christmas shopping list for this year. Love my Excel spreadsheet organisation #ocd
• i would do it now but trying to throw together an excel spreadsheet at 2AM is not a good idea even if it won’t take me long fully awake
• I keep track of everything I search for via an excel spreadsheet. I would like to see everyone else’s spreadsheets please.
• Laptop won’t let me plot a graph with 1000 data points. I hate all forms of technology and excel.
• I built a pivot table today that crashed Excel. Do I win a prize or something?
• This Hen night planning now has an Excel spreadsheet. Bridesmaiding just got serious.
• My mum created an excel spreadsheet to keep on top of her Christmas shopping. It’s password protected. Nawhh.
• On the train, a man hidden under a large Windows laptop. Empty Excel worksheet. Hands hovering. Stuck in time.

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Christmas Planner
• Excel Pivot Tables

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Do you know what an Excel pivot table is, and can you can make the complex charts that your boss needs? If not, bring donuts, for some job security.

• The answer to 99% of the questions is: Pivot Table.
• Gotta love Excel. It’s decided that one of the rows in my spreadsheet should be 2 pages long and I cant resize it or delete it or anything.
• Pretty sure someone just "jokingly" threatened my job that doesn’t even know what a pivot table. #notfunny #insecure #incompetent
• I love the feeling when gathering back a lot of test metrics, put them in Excel and just gasp at the clarity of the data once graphed.
• not sure there’s enough tea in the world to wake me up this morning. Perhaps an excel spreadsheet will perk me up…
• it’s only sad if you setup a pivot table to see who is bringing donuts on Friday based on their proximity to donut shops.
• Just received the company phone list in an Excel spreadsheet. Apparently our Mean Phone Extension is 22.69230769.
• Morning all. Fun day today introducing a new customer to excel. Always love the "ooh – look – it added the numbers up" reactions 🙂
• I’d also need a naff motto, like "if I was software I’d be a spreadsheet, because I Excel at everything" #apprentice #arrogance
• Finally emailed my boss re: excel graph: "I tried. I really did. But it is more complicated than I thought." Haha
• After working on a spreadsheet and getting nowhere had a House MD revelation moment on my way home. I saved that macro’s life just in time
• i dont always try an create graphs in excel, but when i do i want it to manipulate my data beyond all sense and be generally unusable.
• Hopefully the random excel graphs I’m stapling to my homework will divert my TA’s attention from the wrong answers. #judgethisbookbyitscover
• I’m at the point where I can’t look at an excel spreadsheet unless the header rows are frozen and bolded. Filtered is a big plus.
• I’ve just had a diet coke and a cadburys caramel bar. I’ve also deleted a few cells in an excel spreadsheet. Thug life.
• Nothing makes me want a beer more than analyzing data in a massive excel spreadsheet.
• I get that someone who works for the BBC has learnt to use MS Excel, but sacrificing showing Joe Hart’s face to show some graphs? Nahhh.

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA 

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Nice to see that professors are keeping things classy in the Excel classroom. Their students, including Jim Class, must be wiping away tears of laughter.

• Just e-mailed someone "I’LL REORDER THE ROWS IN THE EXCEL SPREADSHEET AND LET YOU KNOW." Some things shouldn’t be shouted. Stupid caps-lock.
• the power of the pivot table. tears are being shed in the room at the time that could have been saved over the past 3 years…
• I have broken down crying at 4AM because of Microsoft Excel and stupid budget spreadsheets.
• I have to make a bar graph on the population of fishes on excel.
• A colleague sat for 10 minutes telling me there was no way of solving my problem with Excel. I solved it. #StickItToTheMan
• I come from a long line of Excel-men. Tragically, my uncle was killed when, during a complicated formula, his pivot table collapsed.
• haha, no problem. Between me and my mom, we’ve got excel tricks covered.
• You know what I hate right now? Excel. That’s my current hate.
• Excel thinks this spreadsheet was created in January 1600. #Elizabethanspreadsheets
• Literally just burst into tears "Excel has encountered a problem" "Repair could not be done" Whole afternoons work GONE! *wipestears*
• The guy in front of me is complaining about a spreadsheet with 250 rows. Get back to me when you work with data so large it crashes Excel.
• How to look stupid: use Excel as a database
• HELLO! I’m at work, toiling in the Excel-mines, singing my song of quiet hope. That’s how things are going.
• After taking a 3-hour Excel pivot table class today, I’m very bitter that I didn’t do this way earlier in my career. What a time-saver!
• My prof just used the fake names "Ivona Tinkle", "Hugh Jass", and "Jim Class" in an excel spreadsheet.

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Functions
• Excel Pivot Tables 

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When you finish your Excel charts for homework, please start working on the bus timetable report. It should be colour coded, but please, don’t make it orange.

• So far, my new position at work has taught me how completely overrated Excel spreadsheets are.
• It took me two days to figure out how to make this chart in Excel. Homework can now resume.
• On my way to my Excel course. Am about to become spreadsheet whiz rather than duffer. Might be expecting too much.
• Okay…like 3 minutes ago I remembered how to do formulas in spreadsheet and have just blanked out and remember nothing
• Always save your work before leaving for the day. You never know when Excel is going to throw up all over your computer. #nftc
• I woke up last night from a nightmare. All I remember is it involved a haunted Excel spreadsheet. #NerdDreams
• No, u don’t need a bank to convince you if you can afford that car or home. A simple Excel spreadsheet and honesty will do.
• I don’t even want to know how many excel sheets I’ve worked on today. I’d moan but I secretly love organising them with colour coding
• I think bus timetables should publish the mean and standard deviation of the wait time. They could work it out in Excel.
• Tonight I heroically helped my son to create a chart using Excel. He was impressed that I could do that. #SoWasI
• Some people see an Excel spreadsheet with figures in it, I see A TSUNAMI OF PANIC heading towards me
• I think we should be able to commit to sending replies in the form of sonnets embedded in an lotus 123 spreadsheet 🙂
• I don’t know how to change the title of a legend on a graph on excel and I want to cry
• Spent past 28 hours working on an excel spreadsheet. Glad I can now manually count sheep in my sleep. #REF
• I went to art school to be a designer, but here I am 10 years later managing inane feedback in an Excel spreadsheet. #ItsCalledWorkNotFun
• You work like a maniac on a spreadsheet and the system shuts down without the excel being saved! #WorstThatCouldHappen
• made my excel graph and not to toot my own horn, but its awesome…and orange! 🙂

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Functions
• Excel SUM Functions 

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If your Excel error cost the company millions, it might be time to start shopping – for a new job!

• I don’t always read fiction, but when I do it’s a spreadsheet with timelines in a developer meeting. #fb
• Boss demands that I spreadsheet in word instead of excel #workinghardernotsmarter
• Praise the Excel gods for VLOOKUP. Work day would have taken 16 hours today without it
• Oh my god! I just discovered pivot tables in excel. This makes my life SO much easier. SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW! CAPITAL LETTERS! EXCLAMATION!
• ARG! I know I can sort this damn pivot table by French months – I’ve done it before – I just don’t remember HOW!
• I hate it when my brother plays games on this computer! NOW WHERE IS MY EXCEL SPREADSHEET?!?!
• Leaving at 5 or when I hit line 3500 on this spreadsheet. Whichever comes first.
• I am so anal about Excel. How hard is it to make a pretty spreadsheet??? I am totally serious 🙂
• Excel can be fun. I made a working version of Battleships the other day. Can’t say it was my most productive work-day though…
• This girl made her shopping list in a excel spreadsheet.
• It’s not boringly making a spreadsheet, it’s playing Microsoft Excel!
• stupid move of the day- finishing my excel test, going to print, and accidently exiting instead, deleting everything #imsuchanidiot
• #youknowyouresinglewhen You’re showing off an Excel chart you created to calculate your non-existent finances.
• so i have just figured out how to use microsoft excel, and have successfully done my graphs… essay still not done,
• That article has so many graphs and excel boxes and statistics. You must be in heaven
• Figured out today I am indirectly responsible for the company losing about 1.5 Million in future revenues. Oops! Stupid excel!
• Excel spreadsheet just told me if I happen to keep up my current rate, I’d finish my #nanowrimo novel on Nov. 8. Don’t see that happening 🙂

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function

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What’s the craziest thing your co-workers have done in Excel? Or do they spend their days doing tedious work on charts and complaining about your data?

• Today I finally worked out how to make pivot tables in Excel, and more importantly, why.
• Wondering what kind of idiot sends text in a spreadsheet on a flashy yellow background…
• A coworker of mine prints a spreadsheet by taking screenshots of Excel, pastes them into Word, and then prints that new document. #truestory
• I hate Excel. And having to make 1739405 graphs #monotonous
• Coworker: I think there is something wrong with your data. I created a pivot table and I couldn’t match your numbers. Me: GASP
• Just lost an hour of the most tedious work I have ever done. Thanks excel. Love you too.
• I did some #Excel training today. I know this is sad, but I now love PivotTables. They are so cool – easy to do and very powerful.
• Try using pivot tables in Excel. Whenever I ask people at work for help they tell me to pivot.
• I need to step up my pivot table game #corporatelife
• Being epically defeated by graphs on MS Excel… I haven’t done these since primary school D=
• One of the greatest things in life is getting an excel function to work after hours of frustration.
• I just clapped my hands in excitement over creating a spreadsheet for chirstmas gift ideas. I love excel!
• Nooooooooooo my computer has crashed and the spreadsheet thats taken over my life was open. Please be ok little spreadsheet.
• DOES ANYBODY KNOW HOW TO WORK OUT THE FORMULAR OF NUMBERS ON EXCEL – I got no clue.
• In the Excel worksheet I’m looking at now, I have 1.3 million cells full of formulae. Excel 2003 is handling it admirably.
• My boss was shocked by how little I knew about Excel. "At University they didn’t teach you this!?"
• I just made a photo collage in Excel!, "It’s not the first time I’ve done it!", "I like using Excel for a lot of things!"-Real work quotes

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Christmas Planner
• Excel Functions

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Was the original VisiCalc program smaller than a phone icon? How does it compare to Excel? Those third graders could make a chart, to show the difference.

• Just about to create an Excel chart of my monetary expenses to work out what I can actually afford. HOW OLD AND BORING AM I?!
• Time consuming, brain power eating, nerve destroying #Excel assignment…..arrrr
• Is it too early to work on my 2012 AFL stats spreadsheet? Don’t answer, it was a rhetorical question – I’ve already started! #excited #nerd
• Would save me so much time if Excel pivot table filters could say =[cell_ref] rather than choose from a list.
• I now have a fully functioning #NaNoWriMo progress spreadsheet. This is the kind of thing I do on a morning.
• Loved teaching 3rd graders how to create graphs using excel. Here’s hoping they created another @ home maybe even taught mom or dad…
• There is no problem in life that can’t be solved with Microsoft Excel and a glass of Merlot
• In the digital age, you spend twice as long trying to track a wrong formula in a spreadsheet as you would doing the whole thing by hand. =P
• Cut, paste, delete, sort and filter, insert formulas, v-lookup, pivot tables…protect worksheet and done #mycurrentrelationship with excel
• right? Tried to find vba code for excel that’ll do what I want. Ended up looking so long, had to do it manually #phdchat
• the Cubs are in the world series in my excel workbook problem #itsgoinhappen
• Some make lists of pros and cons. When you have a spreadsheet with "Normalized importance to relationship" you might be a game developer.
• i’m beginning to accept the fact that excel is a legitimate problem solving tool. doesn’t mean i like it.
• Gantt charts are a great way to plan a project! They are also a pain in the backside to make in Excel! 😀
• I find even at A-level students can’t draw a graph by hand or in Excel. I’m going to get "don’t draw in pen" stickers.
• Fact: The original visicalc spreadsheet program was smaller in size than each app icon on your phone’s home page.

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Functions
• Excel Pivot Tables

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Happy Halloween! Instead of the Monster Mash, we bring you the Excel Mash, and a few spreadsheet nightmares.

• If you cross my palm with silver, I’ll gaze into my crystal Excel spreadsheet and see what the spirits reckon.
• Finished work an hour late with eyes square from Excel-mashing all day. Trying to find an evening activity that doesn’t involve eye strain.
• I dreamt I was inputting data into a giant excel spreadsheet last night. I’m struggling to find a positive interpretation.
• I am in no mood to work today, so I’ve decided to arbitrarily move between the diffent tabs on the excel sheet that I have to review.
• This may be simple stuff for some of you, but Pivot Tables in Excel are awesome. #ThatIsAll
• What’s the problem? You know I’m a third-degree blackbelt in Excel, right?
• Quietly impressed that a 111-character iPhone-typed Excel formula supplied to solve a user’s problem worked at only second time of asking.
• Just alphabetizing my CDs. With the help of Excel and a Pivot Table. *ahem*
• I thought that I know something, but I haven’t known anything #Exam #Excel
• I’d like to have access to whatever pivot table is used to pull these random baseball factoids.
• Building a complex Excel workbook for a few weeks only to realize you should’ve just created a database is…just…humbling.
• I think , therefore I #PowerPivot he said somewhat philosophically….
• I hate getting stuck with something … My brain still thinking of that spreadsheet formulae that am trying to crack last night! :S
• Nothing is more difficult than sitting and watching an excel workbook calculate! I have no #patience.
• Opening my Spotify. Let me see what music I can find that will help me work this massive Excel spreadsheet.
• Excel has officially replaced the calculator. I can’t even do simple calculations without a spreadsheet.

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Related Links:

• Excel Functions
• Excel Pivot Tables
• PowerPivot from Identical Files 

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It’s impressive if your Excel file rivals the great pyramids of Egypt – just don’t include any pyramid charts!

• I think the most accurate career aptitude test in the world would reveal that I was born to color code Excel spread sheets.
• Boss asked how is the registration going for SL2 and I heard Excel 2. *sigh* So obvious I’m not done with my monthly reports yet
• Just realized I was making more work for myself with this spreadsheet… Sigh. Oh well at least it’s finished now
• So I just completed a report that took 2 days to do, then my boss ask me to put it in an Excel sheet. Why didn’t she ask that from the top.
• Shoulda never told my boss I was an accounting major #bbmhandoverface SO MUCH EXCEL NOWWWWW
• Someone sent me a fax of an excel spreadsheet…………………..hand to forehead.
• Excel thinks 200.42+0.84=201.25, which throws off the entire problem. #WTF
• sorry professor, i will not type the entire cash flow projection spreadsheet into excel instead i will download one offline #sorrynotsorryy
• But for my money, I’ll take a good OLAP cube over an Excel pivot table any day! 🙂
• When someone annoying approaches my desk I rush to pull up a complicated looking spreadsheet & stare at it in fake confusion. #IMREALLYBUSY
• tomorrow I am going to solve the welfare problem in the UK with a excel spreadsheet and 8 cups of coffee
• Getting dressed for my interview and watching videos on how to create pie charts on Excel I forgot smh
• I rememeber my early days,… with MultiPlan,… that day I should have quit with computer stuff,… #excel #bad
• It’s not that hard, people. #excel #spreadsheet #helpless
• so the chart is effectively a bit rubbish it would seem, all things considered. secretary not as good at excel as she thought!
• I’ve stepped into the 21st century and come to realize that a card catalogue is not the best way to organize my books. Spreadsheet time!
• The construction of the pyramids had nothing on this spreadsheet I’m building. #Excel

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Functions
• Excel Pivot Tables

______________

Comic Sans font is only acceptable in an Excel worksheet if you’re also cleaning out the mud room, or doing witchcraft.

• I am my boss’ excel guru. It makes me happy. Nevermind that I help with fairly simple problems.
• some people don’t realize how stupid they sound I swear…"I need to upgrade my excel I can’t open files" really you have Office 2010
• Once I spent half a day yelling at a pivot table. This might take some practice #excel #LibTalkData
• Both headphones in now as I conquer this spreadsheet. I’ve been called a "problem-solving genius" with "efficient excel witchcraft" today.
• Even when making a spreadsheet in Excel, she has to make it look pretty!
• What we did in the last 90 mins typically costs tens of thousands of dollars. #PowerPivot – accept no substitute.
• So, more pie charts, graphs and excel sheets, which everyone reads to suit themselves.
• 3 hours deep in a spreadsheet. coming up for air. deserve a vacation.
• I love this guy, but anyone who thinks accountants know Excel or tech in general are grossly misinformed.
• In early to work on Excel, once again Excel has decided to lie in. #Fail
• If the way I just made this Excel spreadsheet my bitch is any indication, I think I’d do ok in prison.
• I’ve solved an excel problem. Time to go home, right?
• you mean excel shouldn’t be used as a database? What heresy is this 😉
• she was showing us some big calculus problem. And me being a smartass said "in the real world we would use excel to compute"
• Currently, I’m writing & cleaning out my purse & doing an excel spreadsheet & organizing the mud room.
• Only thing worse than Comic Sans in an email? Comic Sans in an Excel spreadsheet. Like the one someone just sent me. #FAIL
• I made the mistake of admitting I know how to use Excel at work. Stupid.
• I’m pretty sure theres only so long I can stare at this excel spreadsheet before somebody gets suspicious.
• I love Excel. Using VLOOKUP for everything is so much easier than working. :p

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Functions
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function

______________

Maybe the Vulcans don’t worry about a minor loss of fidelity in Excel. The rest of us will have a cup of tea, while we try to chill out.

• You are now and intermediate excel user hahah I love the IT department. #smalljoysatwork
• Stupid Excel, stop scrolling the whole sheet when I use the arrow keys, I just want to go to the next ce- oh! Scroll Lock is on.
• my face says im working really hard on this new spreadsheet .. my screen says im working really hard an finding the perfect dress online
• Almost lost my lab report, Excel charts, and graphs I’ve been working on for hours because of this stupid laptop. I would have cried.
• My excel says. I have a ‘minor loss of fidelity’. Um , ok. Chill out netbook, I love you and the laptop the same. Don’t judge me!
• Cup of tea. Twix. Excel charts. What more could you ask for?
• I thought Excel was overkill for the status report, but the boss thinks we should start using PowerPoint. Says it looks more impressive.
• I’m sad I use to love making over complicated formulae and Marcos in excel at school for my own amusement
• I love #excel I do. Just spent an afternoon with a new client, a complete beginner, and it certainly gave her the "wow" factor.
• Been waiting here for my damn computer to sort this pivot table for 15 min. Bill Gates step your game up on excel. #overloadedexcel
• Never really got the hang of pivot tables in excel before, but I have just worked out how to use them to track army lists in Warhammer 40K
• Starting my shopping list for the holiday season. Who else is crazy and makes an excel spreadsheet? #superorganized
• tht moment when uve been staring at an excel sheet for an hour trying to find an error and you finally do…but dont know how to fix it #fml
• I hate Excel its so stupid and graphy I hate graphs, I cant wait to get tot he next section
• WE must be Vulcans or something. I love Excel, too! #talknt
• I hate when I do stupid things in Excel like group sheets, make changes + wonder why I can’t move images or there are weird lines everywhere

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Functions
• Excel VBA 

______________

Maybe this list of Excel tweets should be explained by a hot guy with an accent. Or maybe it’s time for a Scotch, and some makeup.

• One day, Excel, you and I are going to fall in love. Until that time comes, please just be civil and maybe hold my hand.
• Really? I ask for the data in an excel spreadsheet…why do you give it to me in a word table. This makes no sense!
• Wonder if I should do an excel spreadsheet for the iPhone 4S plans.
• laptop doesnt have excel, house computer is broke. lab report due tomorrow. #fml #failinglab #really?
• i love excel. i hate excel. time for a scotch.
• Just wrote the longest excel equation of my life. I put a lookup function inside an if equation. Also had to reference multiple sheets. #fml
• with excel I really do give up, maybe office 2010 64bit will ease the stupid bottlenecks that MS should have done ages ago
• Oy! Excel! Putting color on spreadsheets is like putting make-up on. Makes u feel good; but only covers up the problem;-)
• Learning the powderfulness of Pivot Table.
• I just went all Excel nuts & made a hypnobabies plan for the next 18 weeks. Yes, I’m anal retentive like that. Also a spreadsheet geek.
• i’m having problems with this excel spreadsheet and it’s making my emotions out of whack.
• Making an excel spreadsheet to better understand my student loans…yeah there are that many a spreadsheet is necessary. #scared
• Ahh, the joys of being good at Excel… (makes spreadsheet to get all the answers for me) #nerdtweet
• #HelpdeskFail "Please could you (urgently) arrange to salvage a record that was on an excel spreadsheet but is no longer there." ?\_?
• Microsoft Excel has encountered a problem and needs to close. #bed?
• My roomy is so funny she wanted to watch a math video just so see a hot guy with an accent explain Microsoft excel! # SoFunny Love Her!

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Functions
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function

______________

Be careful if using Excel while drinking frozen margaritas – it could result in formatting worksheets with Comic Sans font.

• Our IT manager just told my boss to name the excel of her usernames/password "Tracking My Pimples"
• I have 42 pages of excel work to do and its due tomorrow. #procrastinator. Fml.
• So glad I ran accross this: "Throwing my laptop across the room didn’t help. Any other ideas?" #Excel Issues
• Someone needs to teach me to use excel…
• oops lost a follower. guess they don’t like excel either -__-
• Fun fact: Swearing at Excel will not make it work, nor will it help me understand your problem.
• I just received an excel spreadsheet done in Comic Sans… a surprising laugh in an otherwise dull day.
• Using Excel in Geography is probably cheating. #ohwell
• This project would be a lot easier if I knew how to work excel…. #fml
• New excel has reformatted all of my graphs. This should be good for 2 hrs of work
• Worked on knitting patterns & charts all day, thank God for Excel. And also for frozen lime margaritas, my birthday treat!
• Why I love marketing majors : around week 7 of the class taught in excel "you mean excel can do calculations " #helpingmycurve
• My boss just called me "the queen of Excel." Not gonna lie, I’m kinda flattered. #nerdalert
• I’m entering the #Excel Zone.
• Few years ago I spent a day on an excel sheet, only to have a boss’ boss strip out all calculations and just keep the values.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Functions
• Excel Tips and Tutorials

______________

Don’t be a slacker! Learn how to add formulas in an Excel pivot table, but don’t make pie charts – they’ll make you hungry.

• Back to scary spreadsheet and muttering dire things at Excel. Business as usual, in other words.
• Just found out I can add formulas into a Pivot table!!!!!! This definitely made my life easier!!!! #happygirl
• Nooooo!!!!!! Excel crashed. Probably a sign to leave the office now.
• Ever since that one time that it was the most difficult thing in the world, I can make graphs on excel. Like a boss.
• 1 part Excel 8 parts Ferrari = PowerPivot! hmm 35 millions rows in excel sorts in under a second.
• My colleague is currently attempting a record for staring at the same spreadsheet without actually doing any of the work on it. #slacker
• i feel so business woman: papers all around the desk, glasses on, excel on work and coffee u.u morning 😀
• In the same way Leonidas wouldn’t let Ephialtes fight, stupid people should not be allowed to use excel.
• I love Excel. So, shut up =)
• it is pretty daunting to have an excel spreadsheet titled "FUTURE"
• I have made a swanky spreadsheet. Multiple pages, merged cells, the works!
• If Twitter looked more like an Excel spreadsheet, I wouldn’t have to frantically close this window every 19 seconds as my boss walks by
• Learning how to make pie charts in Excel is making me hungry!
• Oh hai PowerPivot. I see you like memory, I like it too. Can we share? No, not really? #3GBMemoryWoes
• I think I’m having a small breakdown today. There have been tears, I’ve made lists, I made a freaking excel spreadsheet and now I’m LOLing.
• Anything involving Excel automatically cancels the ability to smile.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Functions
• Excel Pivot Tables

______________

Please don’t murder any Excel workbooks today – leave the spreadsheet violence to the vampires. Instead, put on your wizard’s hat, and do good work.

• i managed to work excel without sweating (not literally) today. i’m learning :3
• Lesson learned: my computer at work cannot sort through 190k rows of excel.
• Spreadsheet? Database? EXCEL IS NOT A DATABASE! I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE USE EXCEL AS A DATABASE! HATE HATE HATE
• Made an excel spreadsheet for my timetable cuz I couldn’t save the PDF version. #proudmoment
• Advanced excel and power pivot training, damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
• lecture on how to create charts in excel = #mostboringthingever #losing
• Being a smartarse at Excel Macros can make you waste hours looking for the solution to the complicated problem that has the simple solution
• I like how wizard is a commonly used software term. I picture gandalf creating pivot tables in excel for frodo. Thoushallnotpass! filter
• Creating these formulas for this excel spreadsheet is super confusing. I didn’t learn this in class, why is it on the homework ?
• Lists are fun for me. When I go on a trip, the first step is opening Excel and creating a spreadsheet. I like cells. Mmmmm.
• i THINK i’M RUNNING OUT OF COLORS IN eXCEL FOR THESE FREAKIN PIE CHARTS!!!!
• I wonder if Vampires can use Excel sheets?? Werewolf Volumes?? Graph showing decrease in garlic supplies?? This spreadsheet wld kill ’em!
• No matter how many excel sheets I work on I still take pride in making the final summary sheet look beautiful. #Nerd
• Should be doing work right now but Excel spreadsheets are very boring.
• I kind of want to murder this spreadsheet. I’m not going to lie.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Programming
• GetPivotData Function GetPivotData Function Pivot Table Books 

______________

Maybe the lights wouldn’t flicker, if we stop making worthless cosmetic changes to our Excel workbooks. But don’t ask the IT guy – he’ll just sigh.

• Its embarrassing that as a finance graduate,I had no idea what is/how to construct a pivot table up until two hours ago #previoustweet #AUS
• I love #ExtremeCouponing it’s hoarders with excel sheets!
• It’s not my fault, Excel does not WANT me to work on my homework. I guess I’ll have to wait then. #fb #goodexcuses
• these are the same people that send me excel spreadsheets with 17 workbook pages.. all blank.. except page 17
• Apologies if lights are currently flickering in the Akropolis area. It’s my laptop trying to process some stupidly large excel workbook 🙁
• Wake up and remember your pivot table has put your debits and credits around the wrong way…. #accountinglife
• Don’t you hate when your bank balance is so large you have to keep adjusting the columns in your spreadsheet? #meniether
• I love my Excel spreadsheets, but sometimes I think I’d be happier if I wasn’t looking at the cold hard figures for everything. $$$$$$$.
• I suffer from a tragic inability to find the same background colour twice on a spreadsheet. I am seeking help.
• Yay! I have finished the worthless cosmetic changes to 178 excel charts.
• I spent the entire morning creating pivot reports for a meeting that no one thought to tell me had been cancelled. *drums fingers on table*
• The IT guy does not care how stupid Excel is being. I still can’t have Open Office. "You Mac people," he sighed.
• EVERYONE HAS CHARTS ON THEIR EXCEL SHEET?! When did this happen?!
• It takes me so long to remember how to correctly freeze the panes in Excel. And I do it like once a week.
• Hope my new doctor appreciates my excel spreadsheet of ailments. I’ve got some catching up to do!
• Boss out of office. I prepd a pr report for him 2 view,but had 2 change file type.He uses the Excel vers that the Ancient Romans used.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Weekly Meal Planner

______________

Turn on the Metallica, get out your pencils, and finish your Excel charts. Or, create something pivot-table-tastic!

• Doing pivot table. And I’m doing it wrong. #friedbrain
• Thought this girl beside me was playing a game ad then I realized she was deleting grid boxes in excel #imdumb
• Excel solver cannot solve my problem. #bummer
• I’m a total analytics junkie. Love trying new tools, but nothing can quite replacing a customized Excel doc. #pr20chat
• Should have figured that installing PowerPivot for Excel would be harder than learning how to use it!!!
• The biggest problem people have with Microsoft Excel is not thinking of the final requirements and the correct way to lay it out!
• is doing high tech trend analysis by printing excel charts and drawing trend lines by had #in #dontask
• Just a little auditor girl, living in a spreadsheet world….#auditing
• When doing homework, 10% of my time is spent on the actual assignment and 90% is spent on trying to figure out how to work Microsoft Excel.
• Pivot-table-tastic! How my life has changed!
• There’s something slightly discordant about listening to Metallica while filling out a spreadsheet.I am not a rebel.
• i am drunk on coffee while working A VERY IMPORTANT EXCEL SPREADSHEET.
• Think its safe to say I’ve been the copy/paste queen in Excel today…
• Darn it… excel can only pivot on numeric fields… that’s a pain… Time to pivot in SQL.
• excel is on my side for once, I have charts. And they’re pretty! 🙂
• Been cursing my PC and MS Excel for being darn slow but turns out the spreadsheet had become 42 Mb in size for some reason 🙁
• I have no issue with excel, spend most of my time working with it. Its other people trying to use it thats the problem!

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Pivot Tables
• PowerPivot from Identical Files

______________

Next time your dad does your Excel homework, make sure he finishes it! And be grateful that he didn’t name you Excel.

• Well, it’s off to do some modelling in Excel! By which I mean I take a revenue number and then multiply it a lot.
• Learnt a new thing in Excel today. How to make circular referencing work for you.. Bloody amazing!
• if Excel is hard , then TRY TO WRITE IT ALL down…and tell me what’s better ?
• Why would a mother name the child she carried for 9 months EXCEL?
• Watching an online course on making charts in Excel. The word "chart" sounds so weird after you hear it a bunch of times in a row.
• I curse the person who invented graphs! and the person who thought excel was a good idea!
• It’s been a long & stressful day in which I discovered I’m crap at Excel, disappointing my boss even further! Need de-stressing 🙁
• Using excel all day, I swear it is making me boss-eyed! #ihatespreadsheets
• I am drowning in the tedium of filling in a spreadsheet. #ThankGodIHave10YearsOfHigherEd
• Going to remove PowerPivot. My Excel keeps crashing… Plus I never used it…
• Just watched my Dad add up some numbers in a spreadsheet in his head and type the answer into another cell. #missingthepoint
• The absolute last thing I want to do right now is this pivot table project #burntout
• Finally getting up 2 hours after my alarm…and only because I can’t work on Excel using my iPhone.
• Pivot tables are hard. #excel #fb
• I know I’m old when I get excited about learning shortcuts and formulas in excel…
• My dad did my finance project for me and I can’t read his handwriting to type the work and answers in on Excel. #welp
• I need a training wheels version of #Excel the regular one makes me feel stupid. #helpthatisn’thelpful

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Functions
• Excel Pivot Tables

______________

If you spend the day in Twitter and YouTube, instead of Excel, you might avoid a nervous breakdown. On the other hand, you might lose your job!

• I was gonna make a spreadsheet kinda thing on Excel for a budget, but failed. I’ll just use pen and paper, much easier.Excel skills are gone
• I love my mum she been teaching how to budget using Excel a total revelation to me. #Family #Grateful
• Does anyone know how to make a box plot in excel? Stupid stats.
• Oh dear, I’ve killed Excel again. Trying to auto-filter and pivot-table on 241,000 records is clearly too much for it.
• A bottle of cheap white wine perfectly compliments excel pivot tables! Who knew!
• I’m excited to lead a lunch-and-learn on creating pivot tables (and other Excel tips), but I’m a little sad to be revealing my "secrets"
• Looking at a report generated by the reporting team. Someone needs to teach them how to use a freaking pivot table.
• If one could marry a spreadsheet, I’d propose to the one I have in front of me right now.
• One more exam in the morning. But, being boss of VLOOKUPs and Conditional Formatting means that Excel can quite frankly "bite me".
• Battling to do graphs for boss – I wish they would send me on an advanced Excel course already.
• Does any1 know any good software for designing #graphs/charts? Besides excel, something that allows for more creativity #design #statistics
• I am so awesome and efficient, that i work on a single excel sheet all day by being on twitter and youtube.
• wish I could excel spreadsheet and color code my feelings, for everything in life in general. That would be amazing.
• i love excel sheets – i love alphabetically categorizing & organizing my music /pictures according to genre & type omg I LOVE no sarcasm
• Just an inch away to having Excel & Pivot table-originated nervous breakdown !!!!!!!!

___________

Related Links:

• Box and Whisker Chart
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function

______________

Happy Spreadsheet Day! As part of the celebrations, maybe someone will give you chocolate for working in Excel today, or play Rocky Top when you change tabs.

• On my birthday next year I’m gonna bring a small band into work to play Rocky Top. Open Excel sheet? Rocky Top. Change tabs? Rocky Top.
• Who knew you would get chocolates for knowing how to work in excel!
• Life is not an Excel spreadsheet. There are no formulas, digits, and highlighted borders. Don’t be a number-crunching statistic. Be human.
• Challenging task from a client, akin to creating a financial model spreadsheet in 3 dimensions. Definitely interesting but OW MY BRAIN
• I am Excelexic (unable to comprehend Excel). Off to the book store to get an Excel for Stupid People book. #fb
• im miserable because im stuck here doing this stupid online excel class! #fml
• Mom and bro use an Excel spreadsheet to decide which toilet bowls/bathtubs to buy. Accountants will be accountants. I am laughing so hard.
• Yes, boss, excel does freeze with huge files. No, I can’t make it move faster. Yes, yelling at me WILL make me cry and be unable to talk.
• I’m struggling with this pivot table, why oh why won’t it add it all up? stupid thing.
• Is it sad that I am on a total high from getting my pivot table bang on for the first time #excelguru
• I need one of you engineers to show me how to use excel ASAP. I’M an English Major and apparently I’m stupid
• i’m attempting pivots on a newer version of microsoft excel and i feel like a caveman, because they changed the code. thanks.
• Back to work tomorrow. Back to typing formulas in excel sheets while wondering how it went all wrong.
• Working at home in my pjs with a football game on in the background. Not too shabby for having to reformat a 30,000 row excel worksheet
• Suddenly, Excel starts to take over my life. I feel like a v1.0 manager with many service pack installed.
• When someone know Excel, I mean REALLY knows Excel, it is STUPID CRAZY what you can really do with it. #MindBlowingAWESOMENESS
• Today: 15 hours of work, sorting excel spreadsheets and making sure all boats come in safely. Tomorrow: PJs and Walking Dead marathon.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Functions
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Spreadsheet Day

______________

Which is tougher to learn – Greek or Excel cash flow charts? I could make a drop down for you to select your answer.

And remember to celebrate Spreadsheet Day 2011 on Monday, October 17th.

• Never got pivot tables in Excel, then they suddenly clicked last night! Awesome things they are 🙂
• I’m really starting to think school is pointless. Why am I using excel to do a math problem when I can use basic algebra?
• I love the game in Excel when you see how long you can go without using the mouse.
• so hey, i learned how to make charts out of excel and it was during a testing session #unprepared
• I think I’ll sleep and wake up at 4 am to finish homework and this stupid excel project -_-
• I hate excel. I studied Latin and Greek, 4 God’s sake. Why am I working on cash flow charts???
• I promise I can’t stand excel…stupid thang blows up on me EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!
• Oh God, I have to open Microsoft Excel. I liken this to a visit to the dentist.
• Apparently Excel can even forget when it does things. 95% of my work got autosaved. #epicreliefisepic
• I am creating a drop-down in Excel for ethnicity. I have accidentally added an option for ‘White – Otter’.
• Finally got one of the magic calls, hunting for an elegant solution to a strange Excel problem without having someone just write code. #whoo
• Just ran ‘remove duplicates’ in mac version of excel. 8 removed. Ran again in Windows version, 224 removed. Make the features work Microsoft
• I don’t care to know how formulas work in excel! Its giving me a headache 🙁
• Yey! Finally figured out what’s wrong in our pivot table! I can go home! Hah
• Nerd Alert: I just learned how to make a kick-butt multi-axis chart in excel. I know. Late to the party. But I proud moment here. #Charts

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Drop Down List
• Excel Pivot Tables 
• Spreadsheet Day 2011

______________

It takes lots of creativity to work with Excel. Without it, you’ll end up bent over your des, with clouded thinking.

• waiting for excel to open is like watching molasses drip out of a jar. #fml
• I have fuzzy excel brain…my thinking has become very clouded. My optimal problem solving time has been and gone. Been & Gone.
• stop it, my face is always like that when i work on excel okay
• is going crazy. Not sure if its starring at excel spreadsheet, being indoors with no windows or just lack of coffee. #fb
• OH: "I still code! I wrote an excel spreadsheet formula the other day!"
• Feels like I have eaten many excel sheets today :S
• Oh you know how it goes, one minute you’re happily playing with a pivot table and the next thing you know, you’re bent over your desk…
• how many moms are excited when their kids call with Excel questions? I know one…
• Seriously how much RAM does Excel need to open a 35MB worksheet?
• Yes, Excel, I do indeed want to keep the spreadsheet in this format. Ask me 4 times. I will not change my mind. I am obduracy personified.
• Wish I had a job that was creative but hey ho bring on the excel tomorrow
• Nerd Tweet: is there anything more satisfying than making a complicated Excel formula work after seeing #NAME all morning?
• I just solved a basic problem we were having with Excel and my "I feel like a genius" factor is through the roof. #genius
• If I were to have dinner with anyone, dead or alive, it would be the inventor of the pivot table. He/she deserves a nice seafood dinner.
• This week has been the only time in my life i’ve enjoyed using excel & modeling my financials.
• just did some of the best excel work of my life so buy me lunch

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Functions
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

______________

Staring at an Excel spreadsheet for many hours can lead to flashbacks, or cravings for breath mints. It’s worth the effort though, if it can lead to world peace.

• made an Excel dreamsheet…that’s what you call a really exciting spreadsheet. Well, that’s what I call it anyway ^E
• 13 hours of studying and a 4 hour long exam later………My brain is going to turn into a spreadsheet. I feel brainwashed by excel.
• Hey, educators, Spreadsheet Day is coming: http://t.co/rI2D2vci This year’s focus is on helping students. Brother, can you spare a formula?
• Staring at spreadsheet coloured exactly like orange and lime tic tacs. Now I want some.
• You know it’s dire when you really enjoy an MS Excel themed joke.
• DUDE IN THE LIBRARY I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR EXCEL SPREADSHEET AND METRIC SOMETHING SOMETHING SHUT UP I’M TRYING TO READ.
• you’d have enjoyed the looks of shock & horror when an #excel BI class were told to avoid pie charts
• I have just introduced the admin staff to Excel Pivot Tables. I believe it is the modern equivalent of discovering fire. I am now their god.
• Excel is giving me flashbacks (not the good kind) to my days at Ford. Ah the wonders of pivot tables.
• How to find the weighted average on an excel spreadsheet… #impossible
• I have spent most the day trying to remember how to program and create macros in Excel. 6 hours equates about 60 lines of code, I suck 🙁
• Professor fumbling around on #excel during lecture. I can relate. #frustrating
• I need a new job where I don’t stare at an excel spreadsheet for 8 hrs a day. #goingcrazy
• Two days of Excel training. Day 1 interesting. Power Pivot Tables this afternoon sounds daunting though. *brain hurts*
• If we search hard enough, the solutions to world peace and world hunger would be somewhere in between MATLAB and EXCEL

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA
• Spreadsheet Day

______________

If your eyes are sore, and Excel charts make you sad, don’t have a meltdown. Some cake and wine, or a clubhouse in the breezeway, and you’ll feel better in no time.

• that moment where you finally conquered the equation problem in your excel spreadsheet #hellyeah
• I’m hip-deep in Excel spreadsheets and my headphones have developed an very displeasing buzz. Sad
• Know that moment when your boss asks a question & by the time you’ve pulled up that awesome excel sheet to answer?…he’s walked away…
• Excel is being so sassy today.
• Work, shower, excel practice, macro, cake, wine pokemon, bed.
• Omg. I hate not being challenged. Everyone in my class can’t work Excel. Like come on.
• Made my kid a clubhouse in the breezeway (it’s raining) since she tried to have her little friends over during my Excel meltdown.
• These Excel sheets + my eyes = (*_*)
• Just spent 3 hours with excel and end of month figures and now I want to curl into a ball and cry.
• I hate when people build #Excel spreadsheets incorrectly #formattinghell
• 47 tabs in the excel spreadsheet. *47*. ridiculous.
• Happy anniv to me, excel and sql ?
• Effort of putting farmer’s clinical mastitis notes into excel pays off: high incidence in the first 4 wks of lactation #mastitis
• When I look back at my life, it will make me sad to know I probably spent 12.6% of it making/adjusting/resizing excel charts…
• I really don’t like Excel. I just don’t get the formulas. I would rather do it the old fashioned way (with a calculator).
• I know this is terribly sad, but I have to admit it. I really do love #excel. Where is my excel shortcuts mug?

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Functions
• Excel Keyboard Shortcuts 

______________

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Doctor Who. Doctor Who who? Doctor, who blacked out while using Excel?

Yes, the jokes are bad, but I can’t do jokes at 7:30 in the morning!

• My boyfriend and I are making an Excel spreadsheet! This is the kind of stuff I get excited about in relationships…
• Started a list of drink specials in excel so it looks like I’m doing work. #tabbedbyday #yplife
• according to one of the IT guys at work, I must make an excel spreadsheet of what my ideal guy has to be like and start looking for one asap
• (I can do wonderful things with my Doctor Who ratings Excel spreadsheet.)
• Did I just black out at work? Don’t remember doing this thing on Excel on my list, but there it is.. o_O
• Ugh, I hate Excel, this one stupid chart is what’s blocking me from enjoying the rest of the night.
• Schools are stupid. Why do they insist on teaching us algebra? FOR WHAT? FOR WHAT?! They should teach us accounting. Or excel.
• This Microsoft excel class was a BAD Idea! #fml
• Spent over 9 straight hours developing a single excel workbook….Backing this masterpiece up about 50 times and going back at it.
• I can’t do excel at 7:30 in the morning omg
• I’m a David on the corporate battlefield, #excel is my slingshot, & my reports are my smooth stones. I wish a giant would test my Father!
• Omg! I am so proud of myself!! Just figured out the complex use of IF/AND/OR function for multiple criteria & it gave me the result! #excel
• Yes, I did just make an Excel Worksheet for my nail polish collection. #hoarder #addiction
• Realizing the importance of learning how to use Excel or Numbers, ugh…
• Ok, I was just working on one #excel file but I already have 62 unread tweets. work is interfering with my social life
• Also disappointing: bar charts whose bars are meant to sum to 100(%) but the author hasn’t adjusted the axis in Excel, so they go to 120%.

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Functions 
• Spreadsheet Day

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If you’re going to write a spreadsheet poem, it should rhyme – no IFs, ANDs or BUTTs about it.

• If you’re not planning your holidays with the aid of an excel spreadsheet you aren’t doing it right
• Want to look busy and not worth talking to? Keep an Excel spreadsheet handy #worktips
• Does anyone enjoy financial modelling? I have a seriously sexy spreadsheet that I need help with if you do.
• OH I need to add that my Google Spreadsheet of jokes.
• First time really using a spreadsheet pivot table today and wow….. terrific way to squeeze useful information out of a sea of data.
• I have an excel spreadsheet open to try and figure out place sittings for dinner tomorrow. #nerd
• Setting up the monster that is this #excel #spreadsheet…last run took 2.5 hours to calculate – looking or a quick 1.75 this go around.
• for anyone this would apply to, please don’t ever use the stupid 3D bar graph in excel. IMPOSSIBLE to read data accurately from those
• And I should b sleeping but somthing about finishing this Excel spreadsheet seems productive…
• Thank you! I usually do the numbers in Excel, the charts in Numbers & finish in Photoshop. Unf this one was mostly Photoshop. 🙂
• I’m a little spreadsheet, short and stout. here is my pivot table, here my formula.
• Just bought a book on how to work excel. Life has hit a new low.
• Thought I left Excel at work… damn wedding…
• after 6 hours in excel, and another hour to go.. i now know way too much about formals. #fml #worktweet
• birthday x made him a spreadsheet and printed it on a cake Went down well 🙂 spreadsheet resulted in pie chart http://t.co/aDKMh6Jn
• About to run a pivot table that will most likely crash my computer if not the universe as a whole.
• Nothing has changed. You’re just a number in a spreadsheet.
• got a tattoo on my buttcheek that says ‘no chairs allowed’~ ‘little do my bosses know, as i sit and work on excel docs, im rebelling hxc ;)’

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Christmas Planner
• Excel Pivot Tables

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Have you tried R programming? Is it really better than Excel, or is it just easier to spell?

• Boss kept fussing at me because I was saving things in "Hotmail" instead of Excel. Figured out he was getting an HTML error. Whoa.
• not fair! I want duvet day…instead I have excel spreadsheet day ahead of me 🙁
• My professor has to be on crack, no one can have this much energy, and love microsoft excel this much.
• Excel is really getting on my nerves… *breathe in breathe out*. back to my workbook
• If you work heavily with Excel and aren’t using Pivot Tables, you’re doing it wrong. Learn them and thank me later.
• Can someone who knows how to use excel on a Mac please come over and help me
• This Excel class really helps me work on my twitter game for a solid hour twice a week.. #1aAcedemics
• Yea I work in Excel non-stop so I have my personal macro workbook packed full of useful shortcuts.
• the reason most people love excel is because they are usually using it for the wrong purpose. Excel is not a database.
• Oh, and 1. My voice sounds as though it’s starting to go out; 2. I have to do work in Excel and am dreading it like a redneck dreads heels.
• just learnt how to work pivot tables in Excel #achievement think I can pack up and go home now
• Peeps ask what R programming is like: imagine having Excel with unlimited memory, all functions and macros, better charts, and no GUI grid.
• trying to update some ridiculously complicated excel tables. AGGRAVATING
• its raining, I want to be at home in front of the fireplace reading a good book & drinking a latte, not meddling in excel & a bad "tool"
• Being at work so long all I see is excel sheets & numbers lol
• Officially beast at making map data on Excel. Saved me about an hour of unnecessary work. #likeaboss
• I just used Excel to make my first spreadsheet ever. Feel pride and self-loathing at the same time.

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Related Links:

• Excel Functions
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Macros 

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If you’ve been through the nine circles of Excel, you might start to see animal shapes too. And who hasn’t seen a bit of lion in a spreadsheet?

• I need more coffee. I’m starting to see animal shapes in the numbers insides my Excel spreadsheet.
• In other news, I need to spend the afternoon building a big excel workbook. #ihatevlookups
• the fact that I just opened an excel sheet on my phone brought me a weird amount of excitement
• i don’t know whats worse gambling or the fact that i spent 3 hours in the middle of the night making an excel worksheet for my betting stats
• Note to self: Probably best not to start trying to work out Excel formulas at 5pm on a Thursday.
• I dont wanna tweet about excel or office work stuff anymore…i wanna tweet about fun times in the studio already! 🙁
• Nothing more frightening than exiting an excel spreadsheet and it prompts you to save changes you were unaware you made.
• Excel is one of the best inventions ever. I could never do this work by hand.
• I typed up my thanksgiving shopping list and menu in an excel spreadsheet. My granny would be so proud ?
• I think there are numbers wrong in this spreadsheet… that’s the only thing I can think of, since I’m 99% sure I’m doing everything right.
• My "boss" is trying to setup our project management with an excel spreadsheet. #ishouldquit
• so far today I have mostly been staring at an excel spreadsheet and wondering how to turn it into something a human would understand
• It physically pains me to sit through an elementary spreadsheet calculations workshop when I’ve been through all nine circles of Excel.
• Just experienced the gut wrenching feeling of closing Excel & it did not ask me if I wanted to save. Thought I had lost 3 hours of work.
• I am in metadata hell and the Excel spreadsheet I am working in has a hypnotic and sleep inducing effect.
• Sounds…fun? Well everything except the spreadsheet.
• I am dreaming in Excel spreadsheet. Literally. Rows. Columns. In retrospect, I should have known using Excel as a database causes nightmares
• If there’s anything I love more than using the color of cells in an Excel file as "data", I don’t know what it is.

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Related Links:

• Excel Functions
• Excel Holiday Dinner Planner
• Excel VLOOKUP Function 

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If your roommate has crazy Excel housekeeping sheets, you’d better move before she starts working on her Christmas spreadsheet. That one could really affect your blood pressure!

• She made an excel spreadsheet of chores that needed to be done each week. I had to initial the sheet when I was finished. #myroommateiscrazy
• just made my first pivot table in excel… #epicwin
• I love zooming out big datasets in Excel ’10 and looking at the pretty (& sometimes useful) patterns the numbers make. Just me?
• Well, I’m the king of Excel. the spreadsheet VIP… #goingslightymad
• formatting cells in Excel will actually be the death of me, or someone else depending on my mood.
• i love a great excel workbook as much as the next girl, but too many in a day and i just. . . .shut . . .down.
• We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of charts and graphs in Microsoft Excel.
• Busy day tomorrow. Transferring some numbers from one Excel spreadsheet to another. Best part? 5:30pm.
• My best friend just showed me the pivot table tool in Excel – is it weird that I got excited over a new way to analyze data spreadsheets?
• Happiness is a mug of fresh coffee and a new excel spreadsheet. Today is a good day.
• There’s only one thing that makes me feel stupid: Microsoft Excel
• Trying to work on my patience!!! But trying to talk someone thru using Excel is not a smart move!!! #BloodPressureRising
• Pretty sure I hold the world record for fastest opening of an empty Excel spreadsheet when my boss walks in.
• Accounting is easy, but there’s a lot of work *vigorously drawing lines in Excel*
• Film job training 101: There’s no production problem, big or small, that can’t be solved with a good Excel spreadsheet.
• Anyone have a PC with Excel they feel like letting me remote access and test a string of VBA code on? Only take a minute….. 😀
• Just began my "Christmas 2011" spreadsheet, complete with budget and gift suggestions. I love the holidays! #itsbeginningtolookalotlikexmas

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Christmas Planner
• Excel VBA

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