Excel Twitter 20100615

The World Cup has barely started, and already people are setting up snooker files in Excel. There’s just no end to the excitement!

  • Excel is fine for adding numbers together and creating charts, but most people really need a database…
  • I vowed to never set foot upon Excel and spreadsheets ever again but hark I venture ever forward to the Mount Doom of statistics and charts
  • playing around in Excel (Microsoft Office 07) – the doughnut charts are amazing!
  • did you put "Fruity drinks galore" in electric blue on the spreadsheet??
  • Three hours into this week and I’ve done a lot of work but have nothing to show for it except eraser rubbings and a convoluted spreadsheet.
  • "This morning, I am thankful for Luther’s ""Bondage of the Will"", Ryan Adams’ ""Love Is Hell"" EPs, and Excel SpecialCells. A nerd trifecta…"
  • Dude, the other day I saw my boss numbering lines 1-500 on a spreadsheet manually. #excelfail
  • Don’t squash my sex life with your spreadsheet. -From a good friend describing her marriage. ROFL!
  • Where’s Chuck Norris? Need him to give Excel 2007 an old fashioned Round House Kick to the face.
  • Been using Excel for the last 5 hours-ish. My whole life has been carefully planned so I would never have to do this. Where did I go wrong.
  • The new ranking system for snooker next season seems not too complicated. But fitting it into a compact excel file proves to be hard work.
  • After an hour of spreadsheets I realise that I’m more of a ‘Word’ guy than an ‘Excel’ guy
  • The pile driver shaking the building today really lends an air of blue-collar authenticity to this Excel spreadsheet I’m working on.

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Excel Twitter 20100614

When did my kids learn how to communicate with me? And why are they announcing it on Twitter? At least I don’t have cats to mess up my spreadsheets.

  • Most offices don’t have new versions of software. We are still on IE 5 at work. We have the new Excel though…
  • trying to get 7 yr old interested in Football! downloaded the spreadsheet and everything!
  • Finally had a good business use case for #excel pivot tables after all these years. Very, very nice.
  • Just made an Excel workbook of all my clothes to keep track of how often I wear each item. #gettingtotherootofmycrazy
  • sure i will work all night on your spreadsheet that is irrelevant. after another beer!
  • Sitting in an office all day shuffling paper and filling in little boxes on a spreadsheet is no job for a man I tell you!
  • Really Excel?!? THAT was your problem with my spreadsheet?!? REALLY?
  • I opened up an Excel to get some work done, and then I laughed at the mere thought of that and closed it up.
  • spent 5 hours on merch this morning, thanks to the cats screwing up my spreadsheet. now i can finally get ready for bout day!
  • HA. I’ve been up too long. I couldn’t work out why Excel refused to let me change a time. I had my Num Lock off. Oh dear.
  • My attempts to crack this Excel password have been futile so far. I’m going to keep trying "cheeseburger". It will work eventually.
  • Cool! I can use MS Query in excel to query worksheets just like they were db tables! Just one excel workbook, no db or pivot tables!
  • Her shared drive doesn’t work. I mean, her Excel doesn’t work. Well, there’s a difference. A detour isn’t the same as a broken down car.
  • Not sure about these Slovenia shirts. Did someone knock them up using an Excel spreadsheet?
  • Mad at Microsoft – Reason #312: I had NOT saved my Excel worksheet before Windows update automatically restarted my PC!!!
  • After 21 years I think the key to communicating with my Mom could be excel spread sheets.
  • you know it’s a good work day when I get to play with Excel AND Crayola markers. 🙂

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Excel Twitter 20100611

Alex Kerin’s sparklines don’t show up for me in TweetDeck, but you can see them in Twitter. Very interesting!

  • 70,998 line spreadsheet. That is all.
  • Can’t believe I just said to my boss "I’ll fiddle with it & see if i can make it any bigger"… I was talking about a spreadsheet!!
  • Create sparklines in Twitter▁▄█▄▅▂▇ with this #Excel workbook. Word size graphics to make your point (#tufte) http://bit.ly/9CasBb #dataviz
  • Excel spreadsheets. When will it end?
  • I have bloodhound’s nose for two things: lovely happiness of Anthropologie items, and the imminent danger of an oncoming Excel spreadsheet.
  • I love turning spreadsheet cells green.
  • I’ve been using it that much, I can pivot table anything…
  • Nothing good can come of an Excel spreadsheet that tries to call LoadLibrary and GetProcAddress.
  • oh great another spreadsheet is born and has the high expectations of being used…
  • Pivot table training… If I ever needed help falling asleep I can think about these 4 hours!
  • scroll lock is stupid. why is it even on the keyboard? all it does is mess me up when i try to use excel
  • something i’ve never said before: "im really proud of this spreadsheet"
  • Sometimes, a spreadsheet is a girl’s best friend.
  • Spreadsheet madness. This is not a good look for me.
  • Spreadsheet obsession has to be unhealthy. My soul needs nourishment.

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Excel Twitter 20100610

Three tweets about losing Excel work because the wrong button was clicked, and all from different tweeters. Remember — read the message first, and THEN click the button. You’re welcome!

  • when my boss starts talking accounting lingo all i hear is "blah blah blah money…blah blah blah excel" and she hears "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
  • Wishes you could use SQL in a normal excel workbook to filter and tweak normal excel data (not a data connection)
  • I’ve a laptop and an excel spreadsheet. That should about do it….
  • My Excel macros are doing hours of tedious work in seconds. BEHOLD, FOR I WIELD THE VISUAL BASIC, THE ROBOTS BEND TO MY EVERY WILL!
  • The solution to this particular Excel problem, it changed my life! You think I’m kidding don’t you?
  • I just started an Excel spreadsheet entitled "@Disneyland". Yes. I am Excel crazy.
  • Two hours of work on Excel gone due to a simple oversight of the Save button. I need a drink.
  • Just clicked the wrong button and lost several hours of work in Excel. I think it’s time to go home.
  • Have I said how much I hate apps that mark windows as dirty upon opening? Just lost some work in excel b/c I misread the warning dialog.
  • Backing up my spreadsheet to a billion places before going home. Enjoying the challenge – but I will die if I have to redo any of it.
  • Shoot. I color-coded an Excel spreadsheet but I forgot what the colors mean.
  • Due to my need to transfer flow charts on the wall to Excel, my desk area is temporarily sideways #productivity
  • Oh, stupid Excel. I give up…you win. Take whatever you want. 🙁
  • nah, I would have to kill power point. Excel doesn’t make people as stupid as the pp.
  • How to look busy at work: open up some random business spreadsheet with lots of pretty colours and slam the desk every 10 minutes
  • No, wait! I think I know how to use Excel now!!
  • I can work all day and never open Word, but I’ll have 14 Excel spreadsheets open by the time I shutdown. #theironyofacommunicationsmajor
  • My idea of a good relaxing night? Strawberry ice cream and SYTYCD dvr. My husbands? Creating excel spreadsheets with pivot tables of recipes
  • the use of pivot tables – sign of an Excel guru or an easy out?

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Excel Twitter 20100609

Google tells me that RDR is Red Dead Redemption, a video game. Who knew that video games had soundtracks?

  • You know what would be a great ebook format? Something that looks like a hideously tedious Excel spreadsheet. #ifitlookslikework…
  • thank god for microsoft excel. how else would i do my pie charts ?
  • Toggling between a mindmap and excel. Talk about right brain/left brain
  • Dynamic charts are a myth. #excel
  • having fun getting ridiculous IF statements to work in excel. in case you hadn’t seen the memo, i’m a dork.
  • Sorry! I’m usually really good w/ Excel, but that’s b/c I don’t have to use those damn pivot tables.
  • In Excel Web App in SkyDrive, there is no *save* button because your workbook is being saved automatically! COOL!
  • Just wrote some sweet code to condense 55 tabs to one summary table in excel. Boo-yah.
  • I love what Excel can do, but it is annoying to get it to do it! #excelismyfriend
  • I’ve never been so pumped up to create charts and spreadsheets in Excel as I am after listening to Scorpion’s "Rock You Like a Hurricane"
  • omg. my twitter feed is extremely entertaining at the moment. much more than the excel spreadsheet…
  • I copied my whole logbook into an Excel spreadsheet, very proud to say there wasn’t a single calculation mistake in 2.5 years of flying!
  • Excel: Use Pivot tables to summarize daily data by months .. http://cli.gs/W4Qba
  • Blogged: Turning poor man’s performance profiling into awesome using Excel and PivotTables http://bit.ly/9lDrpM
  • Today’s been about begging (out loud) for a big, unruly Excel model to work, like you’d talk to a jalopy whose engine won’t turn.
  • Listening to the RDR soundtrack at work. It’s like I’m calculating costs in Excel in the Old West.
  • wow, now assistant is holding baby and lady is doing the excel spreadsheet. this get’s better.. 😉
  • Data modelling in a spreadsheet. Yes, I feel shame. < No, you are being agile. <snort>

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Excel Twitter 20100608

Lots of Excel related tweets from TechEd — most are enthusiastic about PowerPivot in Excel 2010.

  • Just seen an excel pivot table used for real, you do not see that kind of thing everyday!
  • excel won’t work, looks like a detention for me :/
  • Thank you random Excel glitch for making me look like an idiot! I greatly appreciate it!
  • if I have to spend Sunday evening wrestling with pivot tables in Excel, it might as well include brownies, strawberries, and ice cream
  • Does anyone know how big an Excel spreadsheet can be before it dies? This ones already about 5MB and that’s really only just for starters…
  • And Marc just compared our relationship to an excel spreadsheet. We’re an exciting couple.
  • Power pivot demo. Sort and filter 100 million rows instantly from excel http://twitpic.com/1usdhr
  • Click to add data. Is there anyting more depressing than a blank Excel workbook?
  • Is it weird that i’m such a planner that i’ve written down what days im going to drink on my spreadsheet?
  • Is it too nerdy that I started an excel spreadsheet to tally my golf scores? But this way I cam track my impending improvement
  • rich business intelligence from inside of Excel 2010 without single line of code #teched http://flic.kr/p/88qiPH
  • Did you know Goodwill offers FREE online courses for Excel, PowerPoint, Word and many others? www.goodwillsa.org, click "training/education"
  • Apparently the new Microsoft Excel can display a 100 million-row Excel spreadsheet. I don’t know whether to be thrilled, frightened or weep.
  • dammit I can’t help you if you protect the Excel workbook to the point that it’s unusable
  • I think my computer’s evolving. I have a spreadsheet where the more data I add, the smaller the file size gets…
  • Is today the day someone says, "You love excel? You are clever and creative? Come work for me!" #jobhunt #takingforever

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Excel Twitter 20100607

How about champagne and pivot tables without Justin Timberlake? That World Cup calendar Excel spreadsheet is way sexier than him!

  • Much better World Cup calendar is this decidedly un-sexy Excel spreadsheet http://hinx.quarkphysics.ca/
  • Oops, Google, you can’t replace my desktop spreadsheet app yet … http://twitpic.com/1tla2h
  • I have an Excel workbook ‘to do’ list… multiple spreadsheets for each "group"…proficient way to procrastinate
  • Champagne, Justin Timberlake and a Pivot Table…what I am up to right now.
  • Yeah. This cloud computing thing is awesome until google docs eats your really big spreadsheet with a "temporaryReadFailure."
  • 2000 records. 1 bar chart. I wonder what excel does with that to make my macbook pro grind to a painful halt?
  • Think buying a hybrid is the best thing for the environment? Well, maybe, maybe not. Use this spreadsheet to decide. http://bit.ly/bgUjCG
  • What type of moron creates an excel work file with Comic Sans font? Enough of a reason to fire someone.
  • Just made an incredible pie chart with Excel. Feeling sad.
  • I continue to be unimpressed with Office 2007. My excel file can’t seem to switch between normal view and page layout in less than a minute.
  • it occurs to me that what the duchess of york needs is my Maw. A master of the ‘pull your socks up’ rant & excel spreadsheet.
  • Using an Excel workbook to update VBA code in another Excel workbook. My head hurts.
  • Never been so excited for a spreadsheet: Coins is out! "This may not be the end of the open data war. But it’s a start" http://bit.ly/bCTGbJ
  • Thing I learned today: don’t do a "find all" on a spreadsheet with 43,000 lines.
  • Spent a chunk of time at work today hashing out a spreadsheet comparing shipping options for faux mustaches and whoopie cushions. Win.
  • Excel isn’t working, I think it is operater error…
  • i want to write books, make movies, play piano & open a beer @ affordable rates bar. ***returns back to his excel sheet and pie charts***
  • Get excited at the sight of a well organized Excel spreadsheet. #PartyLikeAJournalist

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Excel Twitter 20100604

Making a Venn diagram out of a spreadsheet sounds like quite a challenge. Maybe some origami is required.

  • Excel hangover..seeing all things as rows and columns.Need to Ctrl F my bearings now.
  • Perhaps it was Excel’s function naming that ruined my week yesterday 🙂
  • Making an awesome Excel spreadsheet at work. Its not C++ but I’ll take what I can get.
  • I’ve seen often Excel spreadsheets doing clever work that would cost 10 times if you had to build a system for.
  • i’m burping excel grids.
  • My Laptop seems to treat every command tht i give as a problem faced by the world… it took 55 seconds to open an excel sheet 😐
  • Seriously? They must teach classes somewhere on how to severely f* up a spreadsheet to make it difficult to pull data from. Jerks #fb
  • excel is probably the hardest software i’ve ever use.
  • Excel 2007 conditional formatting is the new WordArt. Usually overdone. #purist
  • thank you. What does "compiling the spreadsheet behind the conversation" mean?
  • Faack, ‘Shared my desktop’ with t boss to discuss a pivot table and opened t browser by mistake, had only twitter & FB open #fml
  • since you’re playing with 2010, does Excel still open all workbooks in the same window like in 2007? killer fail IMO.
  • nope – England are going out in the QF’s, and Spain will beat Brazil in the Final. I have a spreadsheet…
  • excel sucks, why do people continue to want to use it?.. ok stupid question… but seriously it tries to be "too" clever too often
  • Wow, the cell bill is 28 pages long and I’m not what you would call a power user…why not just email me a pivot table? #ATTnoliketrees
  • is using the XY Chart Labeler v.7.0.12 by Rob Bovey. See appspro.com. #VeryUseful #Excel
  • I’ve caved and am using EXCEL to solve a problem. VLOOKUP is defeating me however 🙁
  • incompetent people should not be allowed to use excel to produce irrelevant pie charts and bar graphs.
  • is anyone online now who can tell me how to make a Venn diagram out of a spreadsheet? #fb
  • I suspect this is about as attractive as a spreadsheet can get. #wishiwasdesigningagain http://img.ly/1r7p

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Excel Twitter 20100603

If a spreadsheet doesn’t make you laugh, maybe the sight of a squirrel trying to learn Excel would amuse you. If all else fails, a colour-coded worksheet should do the trick!

  • Just tried to paste an Excel Chart into Facebook. What’s wrong with me?
  • Really? A spreadsheet isn’t a database? Dang it. Now I’m going to have to adjust my worldview.
  • Oh Excel 2010 and your new pivot table ways! Damn you!!!!
  • had to walk away from this excel chart I’m trying to make. I nailed it six months ago, but I can’t remember how?!
  • Why should I go through all the trouble of creating a Spreadsheet with many columns, color coordinated, & bold #’s in Red IF it’s ignored!?!
  • Me: "Here’s a spreadsheet with projected cash flow for 12 months."Person at bank: "Hey is that an iPad!?!" #unexpectedresponse
  • i believe i finally got to the root of the latest excel problem. now its time to drink. =)
  • sustained periods of meetings with the odd shower of Excel – it’s project estimation time! Exciting stuff…
  • When I was 18, being this tired meat that I’d done some fun and probably sinful things in the last 24 hrs. Now? A spreadsheet too far.
  • I know there must be good data somewhere in your spreadsheet
  • I couldn’t get through the workday without a bit of comedy. And this spreadsheet just isn’t making me laugh :p
  • My goal this week was to teach the squirrel outside my window to use Excel. It’s not going to work out, he just doesn’t pay attention.
  • Quote of the day: "The Spreadsheet has spoken"
  • This Excel spreadsheet is corrupted. #ObamasFault
  • Someone referred to my excel spreadsheet as a "shining example of organisation" today. Yup, I think this is it – the highlight of my career.
  • If MS Excel 2008 hasn’t crashed your Mac recently, you’re not trying hard enough.
  • You should probably keep a colour-coded spreadsheet anyway, just because – okay, it’s unjustifiable. But it’s fun!
  • It occurs to me that no amount of excel knowledge can fix a case of BAD DATA. 🙁

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Excel Twitter 20100602

Some funny Excel tweets, a sad tweet about the end of the Microsoft newsgroups, and a June 1st holiday that was news to me! The tweet that mentions Excel in context with tweets gets bonus points.

  • I just found a formula in an Excel spreadsheet that would take me three full tweets to post.
  • Also fellas every once in awhile sit yo woman to explain how fine she is to you. use powerpoint,excel charts whatever just tell her
  • Here’s a fun thing to do. Create a password for an Excel document, then later forget the password and not be able to use it. Argh!
  • The last day http://msgroups.net/microsoft.public.excel.newusers/The-last-day
  • after spending 3 hours at home knocking up graphs for my research paper on Excel 2007, the earlier version at work seem strangely archaic :S
  • If only people thought BEFORE they used #Excel in anger, my life would be so simple… #frustration
  • I’m prepping for an upcoming job interview. My current thrilling activity is learning how to do pivot tables in Excel. #NotAHappyCamper
  • When people tell me I’m too anal, I just give them a wry smile, and add their name to my spreadsheet.
  • attempting to create an Excel spreadsheet of all my music… which is reminding me how much I hate categories and boxes. frustrating…
  • Sometimes when I feel extra lazy I just open an excel spreadsheet. That always makes you seem like you’re working hard.
  • Something to tell your friends at the monthly spreadsheet lovers lunch meeting: i was forced to use Excel. Their plan is working.
  • Just applied for the PIVOT table training. GOOD LUCK TO ME! i hope i get it.. heeee!
  • Had a dream about excel spreadsheets last night…also birds pecking my eyes. I don’t know which was worse.
  • I wish you could make Excel’s Outlining commands work on a protected sheet. Still a no-go in Excel 2010. 🙁
  • Trying so, so hard to love Numbers as much as Excel…
  • It’s 4:15AM and the city is asleep. Rain falls outside the window. It’s just me, songbirds and a spreadsheet…
  • Working from home in honor of June 1st. Actually, just looking for an excuse to drink beer all day and BBQ, while working on Excel.

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Excel Twitter 20100601

There weren’t too many Excel tweets on Monday, probably due to the holidays in the USA and UK. Some interesting uses for spreadsheets though!

  • I get all excited at the end of the month because I get to fill out our financial spreadsheet. No, seriously, it’s like a game!
  • I swear, if I have to spend another night plugging away at an Excel spreadsheet I’m going to start talking like Shatner in front of clients
  • It’s not all fun you know, I did spreadsheet training Thursday…
  • I’m so bored I made a chart on Excel for doctor’s appointments. I’m making up names and filling in the times. Sigh.
  • Turning my analysis results into pivot table pie charts and bar graphs makes me look more productive, right?
  • Overseen at Half-Price Books yesterday: "Excel as your Database". This is pretty wrongheaded imo.
  • rode in a horse show this weekend and will be recording her achievements with her "ribbon organizing spreadsheet" http://bit.ly/dnMlRm
  • putting together a spreadsheet of who’s doing/already done what for next @30KB record. yeh, i’m an Excel gangsta
  • I have developed a way to "tweet" your info during a cemetery inventory then dump it to FindAGrave spreadsheet
  • Building huge Excel workbook that should have been made years ago but nobody wanted to. Just had EPIC FORMATTING WIN! I deserve more coffee.
  • OMG up all night doing calculations on my lab report when all we had to do was enter numbers on an excel template which does it for me. #FML
  • My brain just travelled back in time to my 12th grade chem class and remembered how to use Excel. CHARTS FOR EVERYBODY!
  • An 8 hour day at a desk goes soooooo slowly. It flies by in the field, but in a basement with flourescents and Excel sheets . . . ugh.

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Excel Twitter 20100531

Hope you’re enjoying the long weekend, and some time away from those Excel spreadsheets!

  • 4 hrs on excel. 7 pivot table attempts. 11 graph attempts. 2 Excel crashes. 0 successful spreadsheets. lost data & swearing = lots. #fail
  • IS it odd that I have to keep a spreadsheet for all of my login/passwords? A program that SYNCS these will make millions in the first week!
  • pivot tables are great. Excel thinks for you and makes ur info look far more intelligent than it actually is 🙂
  • now knows what’s worse than creating a spreadsheet: cleaning up someone else’s.
  • Banging out firewall policy and address objects to Saint John by The Cold War Kids. Head bobbing making spreadsheet reading troublesome.
  • A day @ home away from excel sheets
  • I’d rather stay home and make a neatly organized, sortable spreadsheet of all my different OCD behaviours than go to a wedding.
  • Showed my parents my #bsc spreadsheet. You can tell they’re torn between being impressed with my organizational skills, and being horrified.
  • Once again, I am Lord of the Spreadsheet! (Fade in Celtic dance music)
  • Oh my, I’m married to an engineer. My whole life is an Excel spreadsheet! #gottaloveengineers
  • u lost me at "spent three years creating an Excel spreadsheet.." http://bit.ly/9gjaGW
  • my mom is in town and we’re redoing my bathroom. she made me do an excel spreadsheet of what is needed and prioritize it. #didntgethatgene
  • Autofilter is the most abused features of the modern spreadsheet.
  • Wow. I just made a spreadsheet of our eurovision results of the past 50 years and then fitted a trendline. How depressing…
  • You cringe whenever someone calls Excel a database #youmightbeaDBA
  • Just finished the biggest Excel workbook I’ve ever done. Good note to end on for the holiday weekend. Be safe out there, my friends!
  • My boss has his back turned to all of us reading an Excel report and none of us are paying attention. It’s like high school!
  • This Excel spreadsheet of doom could be summed up with a single cell containing the word ‘screwed’.
  • wonders if there’s any dodgy subtitled French film on tg4 over the weekend. Anything to forget them blasted Excel projects!!

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Excel Twitter 20100528

It’s the start of a holiday weekend in the USA and UK, but no mention of that in the Excel tweets. Gaming, golf and cricket are holiday activities though, so that’s close enough.

  • does anybody really (any adult) use excel nowadays?! cannot handle 2-3 million numbers!
  • I’m on the eL and these people are fighting over what version of Microsoft Excel they have! This has been a great train ride, haha!
  • Week 3: I finally learn where the freaking file menu is for Excel. Living the Windows lifestyle is more challenging than anticipated.
  • Spent afternoon wrestling with a client’s Excel spreadsheet. Christ Excel’s the devil’s work isn’t it? Functionality by Stevie Wonder.
  • I hate Excel. Why do our idiotic developers insist on putting over 100 stages’ worth of text into separate sheets in one Excel workbook?
  • completed 3-4 worksheets in my spreadsheet dream…and then the baby frogs took over. They changed formulas and dragged water into cells…
  • Work, excel and managers bitchin. Prefer tea cake and cricket
  • This morning I will be mostly untangling an overly complex spreadsheet, and re-jigging into a logical yearly cash flow forcast #LiveTheDream
  • The most effective way to work on excel spreadsheets is w/ a cat in your lap.
  • New blog post: The bad old days of VBA, and opening Word from Excel http://bit.ly/brVYq6
  • Playing with Excel for his Decision Analysis course. First time ever experiencing delight in using a spreadsheet. Worried what this means.
  • Does screaming obscenities at an Excel spreadsheet that won’t do as it’s told count as admin? Is so then add me to the list…
  • I just used Hassle Factor as a column category on a spreadsheet.
  • 1st 5 hours at work nonstop busy & utterly unproductive. Excel may have been involved
  • has anyone ever invented a beautiful spreadsheet? and if so why can’t I find it?
  • Grrr I hate excel reports!!! I wish I was on the golf course right now
  • wow. my colleague uses a gaming mouse for excel work. #fb

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Excel Twitter 20100527

It’s a safe bet any day that you’re not the only one pulling out your hair due to Excel problems. Maybe a little Red Bull would help. Or some Excel gum.

  • My brain is not really excel compatible.
  • Red Bull + MS Excel + MS Word = Owned
  • Nothing like a 4am board call to start your day. Note to self – excel is much less useful viewed on an iPhone.
  • Internet not working at home. Have to use my phone to be on Google to look up the data to enter into my Excel spreadsheet.
  • I just solved a problem in excel and I have no clue how I did it. I think my fingers were working independent from my brain. #iknowkungfu
  • The big television outside California Fitness Orchard bonged out and showed excel sheets! LoL! http://tweetphoto.com/24008386
  • My signature dunk in the NBA will be called "The Spreadsheet" because it leaves the other players crying #REF!
  • Just because I’m sat in the same room as you doesn’t mean I am your local WORD/EXCEL/OUTLOOK expert! I’m trying todo my own work! Jeeeeeez
  • #tkf2010 goodies include Excel gum. Microsoft sponsorship?
  • Today I am copying things from one Excel spreadsheet to another. It’s the kind of thing you’d usually get a temp to do. I’m a temp by proxy.
  • The boss’s daughter comes in to do work and keeps asking me excel questions. #annoying
  • It seems that I am not the only one who is tearing their hair out over Excel today.
  • So I’ve been swatting up on Pivot tables in Excel 07 only to find out the software used at my prospective new place of work is 2003. Doh!
  • This is going to be a spreadsheet of all my Magic the Gathering cards. I’ve sunk to new lows of nerdery. ):
  • If I ever see an excel sheet again I am going to scream…. what’s this!? An excel sheet! AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Back to work….
  • I just spent 30 minutes creating an excel spreadsheet to calculate the tannins in a wine. Not much else to do on Tuesdays.

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Excel Twitter 20100526

Tuesday was a slow day for Excel tweets, so there’s only a short list for you to read today. Maybe it was the heat! Or maybe everyone was at that Excel bashing session, and too busy to tweet.

  • I’ve discovered two things this morning 1. I can’t work Excel 2. I can’t count properly
  • I’ve been watching the meeting leader fill out a spreadsheet on screen for the last hour and a half. Someone please pull the fire alarm.
  • Creating an Excel spreadsheet on participants in our anti-spreadsheet raffle. Damned Excel crashes on me Twice…is it revenge?
  • on my to do list I wrote "spreadsheet" Spreadsheet for what? I have no idea what I meant.
  • In excel hell. I need a Microsoft fairy godmother to come and rescue me.
  • Satan has taken the form of Excel spreadsheet cell T-14 and refuses to assume the proper formatting! #fb
  • so tomorrow we have an Excel bashing session??? Genuine Joe’s???
  • whenever i write "made a spreadsheet" in my to do list, i put a smiley face next to it #loser #geek
  • Excel 2007=nanny state.If I could access data without external data connect’n I would.Why provide facilities you don’t want me to use? #fail
  • Excel not responding AGAIN. Send error report? Um, how about an SOS. #wtf #technicaldifficulties
  • Deep in the bowels of the MS support organisation my pal in the Excel dept is trying to figure out who to send my media player problem too.

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Excel Twitter 20100525

Apparently there was a tv series called Lost, that ended on Sunday, and even the Excel tweets mentioned it, so it must have been important!

  • Download the new Simulator says the ad, "Monte Carlo Simulation", I like F1, I’m interested! "…in Excel" Wait, what?
  • I have a date tonight with a spreadsheet. I wish I was washing my hair…….
  • My headache comes when i open excel spreadsheets.
  • During an Excel course: Student: "What’s the point of a spreadsheet? All it can do is add things up and stuff."
  • and if u dont know how to do something on excel just google it, I always do that
  • Rocking to the beat of a metallurgy spreadsheet…
  • Developing estimation models is fun until you realise that you’re now an "Excel Power User" #shame
  • How awesome 2 be istening to Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness AND using my primary spiritual gift (Microsoft Excel) at work! 🙂
  • My husband is smack-talking an excel sheet. Yes, I married a nerd. #nerdlove
  • MS Excel is my god. I could launch rockets and conquer the known universe with a spreadsheet.
  • I gave up on Lost when it appeared I’d need to take copious notes and feed them into an Excel spreadsheet to keep track.
  • just discovered Excel’s IFERROR() function, and wants to replay his spreadsheet career with this knowledge.
  • a bit too early in the day/week to have excel related rage
  • Work would go much faster if Excel would stop trying to "think" for me.
  • OMG i make 1 mistake in excel and i have to re-do everything cos i dont know how to get rid of them stupid sums and formulas
  • Nothing quite beats trying to find out the missing bits in a spreadsheet on a Monday morning #rocknroll
  • I have the urge to explain how a spreadsheet could help, but then again I find spreadsheets help everything …
  • If you must send me an Excel spreadsheet… http://bit.ly/cyloJg

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Excel Twitter 20100524

It’s a long weekend here in Canada, and the unofficial start of summer. No mention of that in the Excel tweets, but 2-year-olds are learning about spreadsheets, so that’s something to celebrate!

  • I just made a rocking pivot table in Excel. With adult supervision, of course, as it was my first time. Totally geeked out/psyched about it.
  • Just taught my two year old the word spreadsheet.
  • Having trouble with pivot table. Boss wants ‘average’ not ‘grand total.’ I /could/ put it outside the table, but /I’d/ know. And feel dirty.
  • Most adorable intern question I was asked today "What does it mean when someone says to put something into a spreadsheet."
  • Weird experience of the night: sitting in a cab explaining to the cabbie how to fix the formulas on his excel spreadsheet.
  • Oh, look. It’s VAT Return day, I don’t have Excel installed and the disks are at school. That means I don’t have to do it, right?
  • What does it say about me that a message to phone the Dept Immigration really freaked me out? Turns out they want some Excel training 🙂
  • I think my father may be the most organized gambler ever. The man uses an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of his gains and losses.
  • i love it when i get things SO wrong in excel that it takes 10 mins to calculate and i end up with numbers so big they need letters.
  • What are YOU doing on a Friday night? I’m creating a big spreadsheet of required features for a piece of software that NOBODY WANTS.
  • This spreadsheet is too white. I want to put some colour in it, but there would be no reason for the colours… and that would annoy me.
  • I hate pivot tables. There’s a reason why when choosing my career I chose one that involved minimal math and excel.
  • Come on Nyquil, work your magic. Mama needs to be better by 9am for pivot table & customizing financials class.
  • Jerk on train with laptop seems to think hitting the Enter key with extra force will make the Excel formula work better. #PicnicError

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Excel Twitter 20100521

Growling, ranting and swearing loudly. Sounds like yesterday’s tweeters could use some wine from that 98-page list. And if Excel is the second most likely thing, I wonder what’s in first place.

  • A morning of Excel VB macro writing. Don ‘t know what I’m doing, but my code seems to be working. Buya!
  • thinks she might have broken Excel. According to her spreadsheet 1+1=0. Not even the IT guys know what the problem is.
  • Excel is the second most likely thing to make me swear loudly at work.
  • Yes, please, let’s continue to revise this spreadsheet until it is completely useless.
  • if Life could have an "undo" button, just like Excel…
  • You know you’re about to spend your weekend w/ Ivy Leaguers when the schedule arrives as an Excel Spreadsheet.
  • I just produced the most impressive excel report of my career! 5 worksheets, 22 graphs, beyond understandable formulae.. All are amazed.
  • OK, 3am, that’s enough Excel number crunching for a night. Going to bed so I can get up in a few hours to do it all again #Consulting4LifeYo
  • I think I just growled at my Excel spreadsheet. #timetogohomeyet?
  • Sign of geek-dom #412: I’m making an Excel spreadsheet of We Rule crops to determine the best time/$/xp ratios.
  • I just got my thunder stolen–by Safety Bob, of all people. =S His pivot table is fancier than mine. Bah humbug!
  • In excel create a bar chart on the acceptability to management of: a) chatting over coffee b) tweeting c) googling
  • On a Tuftean note, aren’t the chart defaults in Excel just awful? Come on Microsoft, this is an expensive app!
  • I meant yes, please save that excel spreadsheet before closing. Damn!
  • GEEK RANT IV: "I got the Excel spreadsheet thanks. Do you think you can send it again, but sorted by….". No. No I can’t. #its2010
  • Just got an invite to ""Microsoft Excel 2007 Webinar: Keys to Spreadsheet Success" WOW I AM SO EXCITED… NOT! WTF? Who do you think I am?
  • : hv been going thru a 98-page wine list on am excel spreadsheet…my contact lenses are drying up. and i’m feeling extremely thirsty!!
  • strange day today, did not make my first pivot table until 4:30pm. #indigestion
  • Just caught myself tinkering with the programming of a spreadsheet to avoid doing the actual work required. Like THAT’LL make it go away…

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Excel Twitter 20100520

I’ll bet there are lots of people who got the hang of Excel many years before they started using email, not just that tweeter’s mom.

  • for some reason it takes 72 seconds to open microsoft excel on my work computer.
  • My mum got the hang of Excel 10+ years before she grasped the benefit of email, for example.
  • I JUST LEARNED YOU CAN PROPER CASE IN EXCEL. NOW IF THERE WAS ONLY SOME WAY FOR ME TO DO THAT IN TWITTER.
  • If I am given 1 more spreadsheet to fill in with data that can be found elsewhere, I am going to go ballistic…just sayin’
  • Doing boring (scary) finance stuff! Spending too much time on making the spreadsheet look pretty 😉 (missing the point I think)
  • *looks around carriage*I swear some ppl just open their laptop up to Excel with a fancy graph and s/sheet to look important#notfoolingme
  • Excel is such a dream to work with….I never have any problems!
  • Watching my boss twitting during Excel class. I am following his example while my fellow team lead looks at toilets at home depot.com
  • when I did work experience at an accountants, I was loving it all, Microsoft Excel = my bffl. But actually studying it? Barely frenemies…
  • I wondered why pivot table is only in Microsoft products, and found the patent. But it mentions about drag-and-drop user interface.
  • You know you have gone too far when your excell spreadsheet is 45MB
  • Excel tip of the day – When working with comma-delimited files, putting in extra commas mess things up.
  • I just can’t figure out why there aren’t more jokes about Excel and pivot tables. Maybe it’s the soul crushing boredom they cause?
  • Could you quickly whip together a spreadsheet to … #heartsinkers
  • Slightly in awe of Excel. Pivot tables. Wow. #exceltraining
  • I love planning things…lists, excel sheets, flow charts are kindof my love language. Does that scare any of you?
  • I tell clients not to rush into software as excel is easy to use and sufficient for most small business!
  • I’ve never attended any courses on Excel b4. Everytime I need sthg, I ask frens or use the F1 "Help" key. Tt usually wks. 😀
  • I bet hell looks like a pivot table.

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Excel Twitter 20100519

Worker bees, weaselese, Shakespeare and prog-rock groups — whatever it takes to get you through a long work day that’s filled with Excel.

  • Are you really working, or are you just playing on Facebook and covering it with a spreadsheet when the suits come
  • Microsoft Excel makes pretty graphs and charts …it’s like dress up for analytics? too nerdy?
  • im supposed to go through the code in the macro and fix. when guy who made change gassed them "oh its an excel error nothing to do with me"
  • Thinks I need to learn VBA Code for #Excel. Why wasn’t I taught macros at my liberal arts university?!
  • Yes. Incomprehensible budget spreadsheet written in Weaselese
  • about to try building an sql database in excel. wish me luck.
  • Excel sheets at work are fun…until you realize you’re only thinking that to supress your wishes to be elsewhere. #WorkerBeeMode
  • Wow. Could Microsoft have made it any more challenging and time consuming to create dynamically ranged Excel charts?
  • so which business rules are in the spreadsheet?not a conversation snippet that you want to hear.
  • Pls help… I pressed some keys by mistake in #excel & now whatever I type is getting typed in #gujarati instead of #english. Shortcut pls
  • Read a spreadsheet and it was good.
  • If Shakespeare was working on an Excel spreadsheet, and created a formula, it would be: =OR (B2, NOT (B2))
  • #insights10 Lady next to me is already 5 steps ahead…not only did she create a report, she created and designed a pivot table!
  • Joe asked why I don’t take advantage of the stock options.. Because you’re our CFO and you can’t work Excel. I’ll stick with Apple stock thx
  • I heard a weird comment today: “Tracking projects in excel, doesn’t sound like IT”
  • something happened to all my work from this morning: Power outage? Evil co-workers? Pointy-haired boss?
  • my excel spreadsheet has 1849 lines. eyes are like this –> o.o
  • This spreadsheet is going so fast I think I just hallucinated the pivotal works of 1972 Swedish prog-rock group Älgarnas Trädgård #fastmouse

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Excel Twitter 20100518

What does a professional Excel user look like? I probably don’t look like one either. But I liked the tweet that taught me the new Excel expression of the day — "went Pete Tong". Thanks to Wikipedia, I now know what that means.

  • this spreadsheet has become nothing but a mess of letters and numbers.
  • I was just asked if I knew how to deal with some complicated MS Excel funtion. C’mon, do I look like a professional Excel user? LOL
  • What’s a copywriter doing having to work on something called Excel? The world’s gone bloody mad. Mad.
  • Spending the next few hours in Excel. =True(I like working out a good formula to solve a problem)
  • Creating a Excel Spreadsheet of our family’s immunization history. I know you wish you were me.
  • My Gantt chart looked lovely in Excel but went Pete Tong when I tried to import it into Word
  • my husband never met a spreadsheet he didn’t like. You should see the excel sheet he used to pick our new tv. Seriously.
  • I have a coworker who uses Excel when she should use Word. And that’s not the least of it…
  • hmm either excel is extremely popular on twitter, and I have a new huge japanese/ korean following or there is a serious spam problem today
  • This isn’t good. Bloody Excel doing EXACTLY what i told it to do rather than what i need it to do, deleting the last 2 hours of work. Poop.
  • If learning how to count. In excel. I really think using an abacus would be simpler.
  • First spreadsheet I played with was visicalc.. then multiplan.. then excel 🙂
  • making a spreadsheet of things I should do in my life
  • If you know your way around excel file and can work on formulas… let me tell you.. I admire you
  • Must stop playing with Excel and actually eat lunch…

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Excel Twitter 20100517

Music and magic and balding Excel icons — looks like it was a fun weekend in Twitterville. And if you’re not Canadian, you might not know what a Timbit is — besides being the perfect companion for Excel work.

  • Love it when my 80 year old grandpa calls with questions about writing formulas in Excel. He’s on Facebook too if you want to friend him.
  • I am NOT made to work in excel.
  • What? You don’t remember a large balding Excel icon walking around (probably w/ beer in hand)? I’m upset…. ha
  • No apps needed – just an Excel spreadsheet to update daily. Old school is the way forward….
  • You had an Excel question the other day. W/ Excel the answer is usually "luck," "magic," or "very carefully."
  • Why can’t you all get me like this spreadsheet does?
  • I don’t understand people who would rather look at a giant printout of an Excel spreadsheet than the spreadsheet itself.
  • Tackling and beating that Excel problem on so little sleep made me feel as smart as Einstein
  • 3 p.m. Everyone is gone except me and the infinite spreadsheet. *sigh*
  • How do I make my bar chart in excel make a windchime noise for higher bars? That would be cool.
  • new drinking game: take a shot for every excel spreadsheet you created today. (working again at 7:30am is going to be so.much.fun.)
  • I need some good music to make my excel spreadsheets seem vaguely interesting & exciting… am I asking for the impossible?
  • Alrighty. I’m going into the infinite spreadsheet. With Timbits.
  • Vlookup() is the boss in excel. Love it.
  • I think a 2-minute break from Excel work to watch Atlantis’s final liftoff is well justified. Best of luck on STS-132 @NASA #spaceisawesome
  • ..in his attempt to cover the spreadsheet, he closed his laptop. but of course the projector is still showing it !
  • So tired at work that while explaining an excel sum I spent 3 whole minutes trying to remember the word for bracket?!
  • Also, if you don’t know how to use pivot tables, you don’t *really* know how to use Excel. There, I said it.

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Excel Twitter 20100514

Now that Mother’s Day is over, tweeters are once again complaining about helping their moms with Excel. Ingrates! And even the Excel tweets have the occasional mention of non-nerdy topics, like the Cannes Film Festival. We’re so cool!

  • Just made an Excel spreadsheet to compute final grades… that’s more than I’ve done for my actual classes ALL semester.
  • Criminy sake, could Excel produce nastier HTML code than it does? (Why, yes — it could be Word.) Yeesh.
  • people use word docs? If it’s not in Excel or PowerPoint, then you aren’t doing real work!
  • I saw an excel spreadsheet then I blacked out…
  • Why oh why is my teeny spreadsheet 33MB ? Grrr – more Tory tomfoolery I suspect !
  • Never attempt to make a spreadsheet in an hour when everyone else has spent like 1 or 2 months on theirs! 😐
  • No ma’am, there probably isn’t a chart already on the internet of your very specific measures for you to paste into your excel file. Really.
  • Some real life truths communicated through the use of excel charts – http://bit.ly/8XB95B – Ohh So True!
  • Ugh just wasted like an hour doing five sheets of excel charts for my mom. With her nagging cluelessly right next to me the entire time. -_-
  • In my day we optimized with excel solver and were damn happy for it too.
  • She goes, "I didn’t know how to turn the letters into all caps in Excel, so the other half of that spreadsheet is in Word"….RAWR!!!
  • I’ve never had reason (that I know of) to use a pivot table…why would I?
  • confession: I’ve never learned how to use excel. double confession: I have no idea what a spreadsheet is for.
  • finding my boss’s borderline obsession with excel perfection to be utter torture
  • Building my home grocery management in #MSCRM 5.0 as an exercise! See it now – dynamic pivot table to report on where the sugar is going!
  • I still have my spreadsheet induced headache from yesterday. I’m not looking at the spreadsheet today but I’m still haunted by it.
  • i refuse to move from 2003 until they fix the stupid graphing issues in excel. 🙂
  • listening to laura marling – is lovely (+ will now always remind me of your car!) is making an excel spreadsheet less painful x
  • Just discovered the joys of a pivot table. Excel, you are so organized.
  • Jealous of everyone I know at Cannes right now. Me? Today is Intense Financial Spreadsheet Day. Not exactly the same, huh?

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Excel Twitter 20100513

Turducken! I’ve never eaten it, but it sounds impressive, and I love the comparison to file format stuffing. I guess the Excel version described in today’s tweet would be a PortPowerCel.

  • Dear auto-fill handle thingie in Excel: I love you.
  • I love when MS Excel "Help" feature actually helps me do what I want! Happy day.
  • For anyone who was using my motorcycle touring expense spreadsheet, I found a bug. Updated it here: http://www.atlasrider.com/?p=1159
  • My boss must think that my Excel skills can singlehandedly spike the Dow.
  • I’m tired today & just want to be soothed with Microsoft Excel and peanut butter & jelly sandwiches. #spreadsheet #truelove
  • I’m re-organising a master spreadsheet of all of my accounts. It’s kind of like excel tetris…the joys of my job…
  • Just discovered a spreadsheet function on my dumbphone #eatthatapple
  • Love my iPad. Everything I need on the road except for a decent way to work with Excel. Full Google apps support would work for me.
  • dude, im eating my measly minestrone at my desk so i can get urgent work done. I really dont want to help u with an excel spreadsheet.
  • @MLB anyway you could throw a little export to excel feature on your stats pages? Would love to look into #brewers pitching woes.
  • The accountant just told me that Excel isn’t subtracting numbers correctly. But he can’t prove it because he doesn’t have Excel. \facepalm..
  • I love fin projections: usually my only source of daily amusement, leading me to speculate – should MS Excel be declared harmful to society?
  • What does Tufte think of sparklines in Excel 2010?!?
  • Staring at a blank Excel Book. I got writers block…I mean worksheet block, calling in sick 2day for 2morrow!
  • Could the NSW Relationship Register sound any more unromantic? Sounds like an Excel spreadsheet. Formula For Love =concatenate(A1,B1)
  • argghhh Operations Planning today. nth to do with plans, only excel sheets and graphs. the name’s just for show. :'(
  • Am perfecting the paperless office by scribbling random notes in Excel instead.
  • embedding an Excel spreadsheet in a PPT file and sending it as a PDF. The white collar version of a turducken.

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Excel Twitter 20100512

Today’s lesson from the Excel related tweets — don’t let your boss or your cat near your Excel files.

  • So – who’s going to send around one of those World Cup Excel sheets where you can fill in the results? Come on!
  • I thought my excel instructions just said ‘At this point don’t forget to save your life.’ Great 😐 stupid work.
  • That’s classic. Had a woman ask me in an Excel training class, "If I don’t have a color printer, will this chart print in color?"
  • OMG. My boss is cleaning out electronic files through Word. He saw "empty" folders (full of my Excel docs) and deleted them.
  • #Twitter should give a tool to import tweets (refined by hash tags I need) directly into excel for analysis. That’s a true business center
  • It’s chart day today…..be kind to me Excel gods.
  • Only at my job would I create an Excel workbook named "Pizza Party" and have it be legitimate and professional.
  • My kitten just made a chart out of an excel report by mashing random buttons on my laptop.
  • You’re not stupid. Excel for Mac stinks – bad – one of the main reasons accountants (by and large) don’t use Macs.
  • Why does my screen keep jerking around every time I enter data on a spreadsheet? Feels like I’m working in a Paul Greengrass movie.
  • Excel, i know u r mysterious, but i thought we know each other pretty well after this many years, but u have a max cell height?? wtf…
  • The guy here doing excel training for us didn’t bring his own computer & asked if I had a floppy drive….clearly this will be informative
  • I am never going to understand why Ctrl+E does not work in Excel for centering the way it does in Word.
  • okay, settling down to actual work – time for a spreadsheet & some quarterly analysis. first, aspirin.
  • I tried to do a VLOOKUP in Excel. To my computer, that means freak out, crash all apps, and print a 186 page document.
  • Today I wrote an Excel formula so terrifyingly complex I have no hope of understanding how it does what it does! #fb

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Excel Twitter 20100511

No one tweeted about working with Excel in a car, otherwise I could call this post Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

  • wish my job was exciting, i got to change the font my excel spreadsheet last week, RAVE!
  • I am watching a coworker calculate the avg and std dev of a bunch of measurements she typed in a spreadsheet with a 10key calc. excel fail.
  • AG1260 – 2010 Whole Farm Planning Guide (MS Excel) has been updated online: http://tinyurl.com/2g3zqkr
  • it was only 3 yrs ago where using excel to chart moon phases was my "wow" use of tech…google and microsoft sky are game changers
  • Agh, why does working in an excel spreadsheet feel like "Real Work"
  • I spent 5 hours on the plane working on dissertation data … in Excel. Many awesome graphs, interesing findings about cohorts, work status.
  • We are REALLY scheduling outfits out for the next 7 weekends. There’s a spreadsheet. We’re that fierce.
  • I wish someone would invent CSI Excel. I certainly can’t solve the crime that happened on this spreadsheet.
  • Someone needs to teach Sony how to make an excel sheet of their catalogue.
  • How can a prof criticize students poor understanding of Excel formulas, remind us of the year, and then whip out his overhead projector?
  • Paperless office hahahahahaha, I will write my treasurer’s ledger out on toilet paper if necessary but no Excel spreadsheets. Ever. Again
  • Doing some work in Excel…i thought I became a filmmaker to avoid this sort of thing…
  • the excel sheet i opened for work remains untouched after 4 hours and 30 minutes
  • Should be a new sign in trains – please give up your table to people with real work to do on their laptops. Not Word, Excel or PowerPoint.
  • I can confirm that I’ve now seen it all. I’ve just received some pictures from a digital camera in an excel spreadsheet.

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Excel Twitter 20100510

As usual, people were working hard in Excel on the weekend, and complaining about it in Twitter. But no matter how bad things get in Excel, I’ve never wanted to trade places with a cat! A pub in Galway sounds nice though (aren’t all the pubs in Galway Irish?)

  • How much time do you work, and how much is presenting it in Excel : http://www.everyonemakesdecisions.com/comic/7
  • For how many of you is Sunday really a day of rest? Or who’s got that dreaded Excel spreadsheet open & is doing the books?
  • Bored. Too much excel work. Need to find a new Saturday afternoon activity. :/
  • Excel colour pallette is of no more use. Guess unsurprising given its total inadequacy for the task of tastefully shading one’s spreadsheet
  • i do not like you microsoft excel.. why do you work for dad and not me? 🙁
  • Oh hey, can you send me that Excel spreadsheet for the Maths thing? 🙂
  • I love it when Excel plays hide and seek with my data. You scroll, it’s there, you scroll again, it’s gone. So much fun.
  • Excel – thank you for giving me the chance to work on patience. I feel more virtuous with each ‘not responding’ message…#socraticsoftware
  • On my fake transcript that I made on Excel (because I’m a nerd like that), I almost accidentally gave myself a Z in APUSH. Oops.
  • Am about to break out the Excel spreadsheets & enter the revision cave. Send a posse after me if I don’t return.
  • Spent all day updating a complex spreadsheet for the online store only to realize that it’s an old file + my cat won’t trade places with me.
  • I personally think there should have been a lot more ooohing and ahhhing about my spreadsheet. Hmph. http://bit.ly/9OgWDZ #ukelection
  • not in love with excel tonight. arrrg. Should be in an Irish pub in Galway! much much better

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Excel Twitter 20100508

I’ve been haunted by an Excel spreadsheet, but never hunted. That sounds scarier than standing at the edge of an abyss. And things were scary in the UK too, where voters anxiously awaited the election results. Lots of spreadsheets were used in tracking the results, and my favourite is the list of accountants. How appropriate is that?

  • The Accountants’ Election – Live results spreadsheet of 49 constituencies where accountants are standing http://ow.ly/1HX6c
  • See, if we used a computerised voting system, we’d know the result by now. I think we should use a giant Excel spreadsheet.
  • I jus don’t get how 1 of my partners got this job. Obviously ur NOT qualified 4 this job if u don’t know BASIC excel and hav no common sense
  • My boss just asked me how he can do an Excel spreadsheet with filters for his wine collection. Working for a lawyer some days is just weird!
  • Hunted by an Excel sheet.
  • If it was possible, I would check into ‘Excel Spreadsheet Hades’ on Foursquare. Right Now.
  • I think that entering call data into an Excel spreadsheet should be listed along waterboarding as torture.
  • Coffee in, excel out
  • If I made a spreadsheet of all the dumb things that I hear my coworkers say; I would break MS Excel. Forever.
  • You know you’re bored at work when you start using Microsoft excel as a means of artistic expression.
  • Why do both Excel and Google Spreadsheets default to aligning to bottom of cell instead of top? Is this intuitive to anyone?
  • overheard at #advnm: "dude i just dominate at excel pivot tables"
  • Going to the bottom of an excel spreadsheet is like standing at the edge of an abyss, both scary & exciting.
  • Somehow managed to break into Visual Basic in Excel. Whoops. #inovermyhead
  • Anybody else ever notice how the hashed lines in excel around cells you cut/copy move around both ways? Neat little illusion.
  • I tried to do donuts in the parking lot with my Hyundai Excel but all I ended up with were pie charts.
  • charts in Excel always look like charts in Excel.

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Excel Twitter 20100507

All my Excel success is due to my great skill, not lucky guesses. How about you?

  • Is it normal to use a pivot table to analize your cell phone bill/plan??
  • I’ve spent the whole day trying to get this stupid logic to work. No idea why Excel thinks that "14 hrs" is < "2 hrs"…
  • how many of you work for companies that double check every excel sheet with an adding machine?
  • Currently creating tomato spreadsheet. Yes, really.
  • We were having a constructive and cheerful meeting until someone opened the scary ‘documentation we need to produce’ spreadsheet. Depressing
  • Man, after June, if i don’t see another excel spreadsheet filled with numbers and colors again….ever…i will be quite alright!!
  • Oh goodness kill me. Instead of doing work I’ve been staring at that excel spreadsheet of all the deadlines.
  • Guy on my train was muttering about Excel spreadsheets. That usually invokes some kind of satanic presence…
  • Amazed at how few people know how to use the simple freeze panes facility in #Excel and use the ugly split window feature instead.
  • Does anyone know how you work out the % of something? and put it into a formula in Excel?
  • My Boss’s boss hears me cursing at excel, shows me how to do it, and then says ‘You’re taking an Excel Class.’
  • Dear @Microsoft, please stop making allowances for stupid people. Ex: when I click to close Excel, I want to close Excel, not the sheet.
  • I use the spreadsheet to create a pivot table tracking deep, clever, mundane, and vapid tweets.
  • How to look busy at work: Keep a hard and soft copy of an Excel spreadsheet, and make sure it has lots of numbers and graphs.
  • Am quite smug that I solved an excel macro problem by a lucky guess. Will try and pretend it was really due to my great skill.

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Excel Twitter 20100506

I wouldn’t mind getting the occasional empty Excel file, and it would certainly be better than a Crashy McCrashter one. And I’ve used Excel on much less than 5 hours sleep! How about you?

  • It looks like a spreadsheet bomb went off in my office. Or, maybe the aftermath of a rock festival attended only by CPAs?
  • If my life were a season of 24: 6 episodes of sleep, 2 playing MW2, 8 staring at excel spreadsheets, 3 eating, and the rest in the can.
  • Worst interview question I’ve ever been asked: "What’s your favorite Excel formula statement?"
  • I dislike the fact that I can’t color the tabs of Excel worksheets in an Excel workbook on a mac. Color coding is really important to me.
  • excel spreadsheets on five hours of sleep are brutal. is it time for tequila yet?
  • I need to do excel reports for our clients. God forbid they actual learn to use VLOOKUP.
  • One of my contacts sent me this today " no changes for this month, please find empty excel-file enclosed" 😉 Gotta love bureaucrats…
  • When Excel asks if you want to save something, the answer is YES! I forget this at the most inoppertune times.
  • Anyone else find it offensive that #Google spreadsheet’s settings don’t include Canada as a locale? #fail #pmo #wearentyou
  • It’s amazing what some people can do in Excel. I think this spreadsheet is about to become self aware.
  • love is getting you a burrito no beans at 10 at night while you’re banging on excel.
  • enjoy the last few mins of your miserable existence on my screen, Crappy Excel Sheet. soon, you shall be erased off the face of this earth.
  • I feel like I’m 16 years old again, because I have a burning desire to collect baseball cards and track them with a spreadsheet.
  • Today’s job consists of putting numbers into Excel and turning them into charts. I used to be a prominent games journalist you know…
  • dammit, just when you were hoping excel’s cell limit was still 65 odd thousand, turns out it’s now over a million
  • After the last few weeks messing with Excel charts & VBA, I can confirm the following: Microsoft never uses VBA in Excel. :p
  • I love a good pivot table…only had 2 excel spreadsheet dreams this month. A sign of improvement?
  • 4 years of university and here i am populating a spreadsheet with fake names, phone numbers and postcodes. stay in school kids! dream big!
  • watched his morning train zip by the stop at full speed, hit the breaks, and then back up sheepishly. In other news, my Excel-fu is strong!
  • Hey Microsoft. I’d like the last 4 hours of my life back since Excel went all Crashy McCrashter and the auto-save didn’t work. Please?

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Excel Twitter 20100505

Which came first, the Excel, the Tylenol or the red wine? If you’ve gone spreadsheet crazy, the order probably doesn’t matter.

  • Son is not techie at all but he wanted to learn to use a spreadsheet to track his golf scores, so he had his lesson on Excel!
  • If your legacy is a formatted Excel spreadsheet, you owe the human race an apology
  • I’m sure you’ll all be pleased to hear that after a day’s work my spreadsheet now has SIGNIFICANTLY more yellow than orange in it. Oh yeah.
  • Creating a pivot table in Office 2007 is a lot different than 2003. Can I have the last hour of my life back?
  • My life is a misery because of the way that Microsoft originally chose to localise Excel. I blame @spolsky
  • Sorry Google, but the spreadsheet I’m working on would make Docs explode like a supernova. Excel all day.
  • i do love excel. it’s like a friend who does all the work for you if you ask nicely.
  • Looked at my spreadsheet for as long as I could. Now time to put on PJs, get some red wine, and write a blog post.
  • Who are YOU to argue with an excel spreadsheet?!
  • Going spreadsheet crazy. This is one of the worst kinds of crazy.
  • Am playing with Cluster Stack charts in Excel. *giggles childishly at image this conjures up*
  • I hit "Save" instead of "Save as" in excel and I think I’m going to pass out. An entire month erased….
  • Despite the fact I did a Microsoft Excel Proficiency Course, let it be known that formula/chart making is still frustrating!! Grraaagghhh!!!
  • Using the Calendar control to fill in dates on an Excel 07 worksheet. Instructions refer to tools that are not extant. Step 1: Tylenol
  • I’m officially undateable. Don’t believe me? Ask me abt my Dr.Who spreadsheet & pivottables using "cool alien" & "emotional" as data points
  • when did "presentation" become "slide stack"? what’s next – "document" to become "page stack", "spreadsheet" to become "cell stack"…?
  • Just went to my info spreadsheet and clicked on "Toileting Equipment". It made me want to die a little.
  • I am matching numbers in a spreadsheet to filled in bubbles on a paper sheet. An office version of "Charlie work"

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Excel Twitter 20100504

Just when you think you’ve seen everything, someone makes a goat health spreadsheet.

  • Just as a note, "the excel keeps doing stupid things" isn’t what I was looking for when I asked for more details.
  • Excel Map Project:  This trimester students are working on a cumulative assignment that I call the “Excel Map”.  … http://bit.ly/bnCiMt
  • Just did my very first IF function in Excel. Be proud of me people!
  • Poo. It’s that time of month again when I have to enter a bunch of numbers into a spreadsheet. It’s like my version of PMS.
  • It appears that you can’t use tracked changes in Excel when a "table" is included in the worksheet. 🙁
  • we planned every hour of our trip to new york and put it in an excel sheet and laminated it #nerdy
  • Understanding arrays in a spreadsheet. They are so inscrutable, locked away behind those curly braces. #excel #arrays
  • Put together my own goat health spreadsheet this AM. Didn’t like any I found online. Contemplating a database idea. #goats #reallifefarm
  • I have lists about lists and spreadsheets about spreadsheets! I really need to get everything organised into one huge list / spreadsheet!
  • You have to be kidding me. I’m explaining how to do Excel Pivot Tables. I don’t have time for this, I have my own third of the project to do
  • Msgbox "VB for Excel is my passion" – Worksheets("Sheet1").Visible = False – i love these simple commands without any reason..
  • I know way too much about Excel.
  • always envious of those who can make excel sing. I’m just not one of them.
  • Excel apparently thinks its 1904…
  • When your CMS is a bunch of Excel spreadsheets, "Cry for Eternity" isn’t just a song, it’s what you want to do.
  • Down to two more Excel Assignments. I’m going to take a break and clean out my mini fridge. I’M SO CLOSE TO COMPLETION!
  • I got a Diet Cherry Coke and an Excel spreadsheet. Ask me a question.

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Excel Twitter 20100503

You need a sense of humour to use Excel, but I didn’t know there was a humour proficiency test. Hope I can pass!

  • Finally home from work. No more excel spreadsheets, formulas or idiots for one whole week!!!!
  • I’ve only just fixed his excel and he’s gone and done something to it again. Rubbish.
  • I love the #boobquake article in the guardian, but ugh. I hate those horrible looking box plots. Excel is the comic sans of statistics
  • Just spent 2 hours making an impressive looking yet totally unnecessary xl spreadsheet. Who knows what madness the rest of the night holds!
  • Note to self, if you want to do future calculations on a spreadsheet, don’t keep saving it as a CSV. #fail
  • I found my humor proficiency on Microsoft’s handy chart. Now I’m off to scatter-plot it in Excel. Quantifiably funny! http://bit.ly/9k7MnS
  • if my personality was an excel spreadsheet, =countif(A1:IV65536,"class") would return 0.
  • Argh, my numbers were wrong on my budget spreadsheet. Hate autosum, hate excel! 🙁
  • Why does "pivot table" suddenly sound rude?
  • I have done something very, very bad to this Excel spreadsheet
  • Not the best time to realize that MS Excel stores dates as the number of days after Jan 0, 1900
  • I just taught my lady how 2 create pivot tables on Excel. Contrary 2 the common belief, & in my own geeky way, we r having a rocking evening
  • Budget confusion + excel pivot charts + accident stats + US only website + urgent power point requirements + friday night ritual = FML
  • Are you an excel know-it-all? Looking for excel articles & blog posts for Update magazine http://ht.ly/1FnWc and http://cmabcblog.com.
  • One small tip: I started charting my weight in Excel. I was accountable and could see the results (good & bad)…
  • I never thought I’d say this, but a spreadsheet is helping me to sleep at night.
  • Correction on something I said earlier this week. Excel 2010 still just one active spreadsheet at a time. I must’ve been drunk.
  • It feels weird to work in Excel, if you used Word for your entire life! But I like Excel better now, it’s more… regulated, I guess.
  • Just presenting an Excel-based risk analysis is enough to explain/project/expose that a Corp. "needs" security? Not sure about that.

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Excel Twitter 20100501

It’s May Day! As in the first day of May celebration, not "Send help! My Excel worksheet has hit an iceberg!" But now that Excel has a Ribbon, it’s better suited to those maypole dances.

  • If I’m going to build an Excel spreadsheet, I’m going to use pretty pastel colours. So there.
  • Excel can’t open two different docs with the same name at once. "Hi! I’d like to join the Office dev team!" "Sorry, we already have a Matt."
  • Things that are not worth picking a fight with me about: the kind of coffee I’ve purchased or leaving a shared spreadsheet open. Srsly.
  • Never a good sign when Excel doesn’t ask you to save changes after a day’s worth of work.
  • Dear God..I wasnt born to math. Can you please make Excel and all its charts disappear? Thank you
  • Biggest accomplishment at work today? Drawing a robot in microsoft excel. And yes, I am a badass.
  • I probably shouldn’t get so excited over putting together Excel presentations.. but I sure do make some mean graphs. 😀
  • Say WHAT!?! Preview mode of my spreadsheet says there are 48070 pages. Uhm, I only have 18 rows at this point. Columns must be a mess…
  • Someone just called a spreadsheet I did "pretty" weird…because pretty is not a word I’d use to describe any of Microsoft’s output!
  • One redeeming factor Numbers has over Excel is that you can append a floating sticky note to a spreadsheet window in Numbers.
  • Oh good god. If the guy sitting behind me doesn’t shut up about his Excel spreadsheet FAIL I will actually kill him. With my bare hands.
  • I’ve got tea and I’ve got a Lion bar. Now I can tackle the spreadsheet from hell.
  • I find it odd that excel only lets me update 10 pivot tables before crashing.
  • Taking an Excel class at work. I made a Batman spreadsheet. For when he uses our meeting room.
  • sometimes i think chiseling my spreadsheet into a stone tablet would be faster than this computer that hates excel

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Excel Twitter 20100430

Things in today’s Excel tweets that I had to Google — "Ruth Evershed" and "bag of Minstrels". And that’s one of the reasons that I enjoy posting these collections.

  • Finish the analogy! …teaching 1st graders how to create an Excel spreadsheet is as difficult as….:
  • Ack. I hate Excel. Any thoughts on how to take a bunch of separate excel docs and turn them into one word file?
  • This morning’s accomplishment: making an Excel spreadsheet do exactly what I want it to do. (It only took 3 days and lots of research.)
  • being good at excel is best kept a secret
  • Making a spreadsheet has brought me more happiness and calm than a large bag of Minstrels today.
  • Having such issues with an excel spreadsheet today I just wish I was blessed with my fathers genius spreadsheet gene.
  • I just found $10,000 hidden within a spreadsheet? I am the non-profit Ruth Evershed.
  • If I could only communicate via Excel charts and graphs I totally would. I would just diagram my thought process. #nerd
  • does anybody know anything about excel…I’m about to have a nervous break down at this desk
  • I have a fitness goal spreadsheet too…I just don’t usually pay attention to it. 🙁
  • Some do but there’s nowt better than turning a mush of ideas in your head into a spreadsheet!
  • If you worked on the graphs interface with Excel they’re going to need tweezers and a sponge to pick you up.
  • the pie chart function on excel is surprisingly entertaining.
  • Excel is cool. Wish I had a reason to use it more.
  • Have serious Excel ADD today, attention span is lacking and not getting much done!
  • Today’s life lesson: Don’t work for/ with your parents. Especially ones that don’t know how to use excel.
  • things that make Excel for Mac crash today: saving a workbook

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Excel Twitter 20100429

It’s a bit early for Christmas lists, but a robot that can use Excel sounds like a good idea. My robot only does the vacuuming, so maybe it’s time for a new model.

  • Going crazy and need vacation. Spent 5 minutes trying to figure out why a number in my spreadsheet was negative…it was dust on my screen.
  • God forgive me for my sins…I’m not a damned Excel developer!
  • is working off a 40mb shared excel workbook. its making me anxious. i hope excel keeps up his end of the deal and not die on us.
  • making the world a better place, one Excel spreadsheet at a time.
  • I WAS done with my 3hrs of work in Excel until I hit the "Restore down" that was really the "Close" button & thinking the dialog pop up…
  • Excel files sometimes reach the status of true artistic masterpieces. Sadly, like art, they can drive their curators mad.
  • After trying to parse through a bunch of test feedback in a spreadsheet, I propose we make Excel a controlled substance. Ick.
  • Saying it’s not PPT’s fault is like saying that it’s not Excel’s fault that people make crappy charts. Defaults & options matter!
  • Colleague reading "Excel for Dummies" saying ‘Ooooh that’s too advanced for me!’. #fail
  • There is a mistake in my spreadsheet of woe, and I don’t have to fix it because Excel is now an official seizure trigger. #SilverLining
  • If you’re considering getting me any kind of robot for Christmas this year, please make sure it’s adept at killing and Excel.
  • excel conquered for the moment, brain damage only mild. results proving interesting
  • this micorsoft excel work isnt no joke..ughh idk how my mom is going to pass her test when i been doing her homework..
  • you cant help people that don’t wanna be helped. Excel is easy, and if she doesn’t want your help then so be it.
  • Dear Excel for Mac: Stop corrupting all my spreadsheets. I don’t want to use Numbers, but I will.
  • I got 99 problems and Excel ain’t one
  • I just spent 4 hours working on a really dorky excel spreadsheet budget. I love the formulas… the results, not so much.
  • Maybe I need to get out more. When a pivot table in a spreadsheet moves one on an emotional level, something is definitely not right…

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