Category: Excel Humor

Another Monday, another week of fighting with Excel. It will be a short work week for you though, if you get Friday off.

And remember, you’re not the only one suffering – here are some Excel-themed tweets from your co-sufferers.

Statistics For Lunatics

• Trying to figure how to do normal dist chart in Excel. Google found me this: "Friends don’t let friends use Excel for statistics". OK, then.
• Also, I have no life. I used my Excel skillz to chart the Saints stats so far. Why am I motivated to graph things???
• I’m extremely sick of Microsoft Excel. Statistics is perfect for lunatics.

That Sucks

• There’s something so satifying about spending the whole day collating data into Excel. Spreadsheets are easy. People are hard. And suck.
• just finding out that an excel file I’ve been using is corrupt. Now I get to re-do almost 3 month’s work of work. Life sucks.
• They sent over excel versions of their 24 hour lounge charts & i’m supposed to make it not suck, & it’s crashing my laptop. ugh.

Manic Monday

• Woo, before lunchtime on a Monday and I got my excel formula to work first time! Good start
• Whenever i feel a sense of accomplishment coming on at work i get bitch slapped by Microsoft excel. i love mondays.

Cooking With Excel

• Is there anything that Excel cannot do … I am working on a spreadsheet that prepares the perfect Christmas turkey
• Trying to organize my Christmas baking list. May need an Excel spreadsheet. May need to learn Excel…

Going Excel

• the word "postal" comes to mind. the term should be replaced by "office." im going to go "office"…or "Excel" or "Outlook"

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P.S. To avoid problems with lost data after a crash, or corruption, use Jan Karel Pieterse’s free AutoSafe add-in
And to cook your perfect turkey, download my free Holiday Dinner planner

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It’s amazing that you’re so smart, but your co-workers don’t have a clue how to use Excel. They’re lucky to have you to bail them out of trouble! Of course, it would help if we all had fancy new versions of Excel, with all the features that we really need.

Pivot Table Genius

• Exercising my Excel nerd muscles: 15K rows, 73 columns, 2 pivot tables, and a vlookup function all in one spreadsheet.
• my wife is a pivot table genius! Now she has transfered her knowledge and I am a dangerous pivot table apprentice – bwahhahahaha
• excel, i take back everything bad i ever said about you… this pivot table you just did is amazing
• Those who cannot do a pivot table properly within 5 minutes must eat a bowl of worms! While hanging upside down. From a helicopter.

Crappy Old Excel

• How did "unhide all sheets" not make the cut into Excel 2007?
• Seriously – £5k to upgrade to excel 07? What are you going to turn my computer into ‘Short-Circuit’; actually that would be ace – do it!
• Okay Excel, it’s almost 2010. Are you going to give me more than 40 choices for font and fill colours?
• Best get off to work, I have to work out how to manipulate more records than my crappy old Excel 2003 can handle

People Are Idiots

• asked a coworker to send a spreadsheet i’m supposed to work on, and he sent a screenshot of the excel screen instead of sending the file.
• People at my work are idiots. There I said it. Excel has filters it’s really not that difficult to check info on a spreadsheet
• Spending the morning redoing a coworker’s project instead of doing my own work. She couldn’t tell the difference between Word and Excel.
• anyone want to go to work for me tomorrow & tell them that i didnt save the excel spreadsheet i spent all day doing yesterday, am an idiot
• A work colleague in an IT management position above me just asked me ‘how do you sort in Excel’. A bit worrying I know!

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P.S. You can be a pivot table genius too, if you read the Pivot Table FAQs

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Time for some fun and games with Excel! It’s too bad that everyone doesn’t share our Excellent sense of humour.

Fun

• An hour and a half of fun with Excel to correct a simple sort mistake. Good learning experience, though.
• I have a tendency to make Excel charts for things that do not need Excel charts. It is fun!

And Games

• Haha. We’ve banned so many game sites that kids now email each other Excel files with the flash/shockwave games embedded in them.
• It’s official people, i’m going to program an epic game entirely in microsoft excel. Why? Because I’ll be famous of course
• Should I be concerned that my boyfriend has made an elaborate Excel spreadsheet about Farmville crops?
• trying to code a tictactoe solver in excel… apparently the game is still too complicated
• Why doesn’t Microsoft sponsor people who use their product? I’m pretty sure I could place in an excel X-games

And Excel Humour

• I love my finance friends. They know what it is to Excel. Get it? First finance joke I’ve made!
• I had a list, hello, the daily Excel file. There were just too many Davids. =))
• Man I love Microsoft excel, nothing better than Microsoft excelling till 6 o’clock everyday, and excelling at it………… it’s excellent
• I wonder if Microsoft has a cafe (not cafeteria) or bistro called Pivot Table. Wouldn’t surprise me #msgeekery

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P.S. Don’t let a simple sort mistake ruin your day! Follow the guidelines for sorting data in Excel.

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What kind of music do you listen to while you work in Excel? Today’s tweets show a wide variety of musical tastes, including Beach Boys, Anthrax and Jay-Z.

And I agree with the tweet about old code – it’s rarely beautiful to revisit. You usually think of a dozen ways you could have done it better.

Greatest Hits

• On deck: Mos Def, Miike Snow & Monsters of Folk. This is my 2nd favorite part of crazy spreadsheeting days. 1st is the pure joy of Excel.
• Beach Boys Greatest Hits and excel spreadsheets….my kind of afternoon
• Bobbing my head to Jay-z, while writing a macro that will consoidate excel file into one big daddy file.
• modeling in excel while listening to old Anthrax….so satisfying.
• Spending some quality time with Excel and the Bladerunner soundtrack. I love my job.
• CHRISTMAS STATION ON PANDORA!!! You are making me not hate this excel workbook, like, at all.

Aging Gracefully

• Also geeky> Counting the days I’ve gone working happily without opening Word or Excel, (excluding reading docs others send me) Tally: 26
• just remind yourself that Excel is nearly 25 years old. And looks like an aged Hollywood starlet after too many facelifts.
• Documenting my extremely ugly Excel-based build system. One year old code is not beautiful to look at again! #uglyhack
• Updating my seven-year-old Excel file with my latest work experience. It’s a bittersweet spreadsheet. The jobs I loved couldn’t last.

What a Tool

• Ban Excel from all planning meetings. It’s a weapon, not a tool. Make people think and plan first – then add the numbers at the very end.
• is developin a best lottery numbers selection tool on the excel… started as simple but is turning into complicated program… it is workin
• Q: Why does everyone keep talking about Excel? Goble: It’s the tool many use, so they are designing tools round extracting from it
• Between a crap bug tracking tool and an unmaintained excel spreadsheet, i’m really unhappy with our bug reporting strategy…

All Good Things

• ah, yeah it’s tough to beat Excel. The only good thing Microsoft has created. And is systematically ruining.

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P.S. To create a playlist from your MP3 files you can download the free Excel Music Playlist Creator, by Dave Peterson.

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It’s the season of joy and goodwill, but there’s still the odd pocket of hate for Excel. Some people feel the love though, and most of them add nice smileys at the end of their tweets.

Santa might add those Excel haters to his naughty list, if they’re not careful. Don’t let that happen to you!

Ignore the Haters

• I HATE EXCEL ….or Excel hates me. Either way, we’ll have to work it out since we are spending all day together at work.
• I hate you #Excel. You’re for accountants and swim team managers, not English majors.
• I hate excel. So many things it could and should do and it just does math and is ugly.
• converted hate into love. For excel. And hell froze over.
• oh excel, you are so awesome. don’t listen to the haters. they just don’t understand how to use you…

Float Your Boat

• I love finding keyboard shortcuts that save me prob dozens of minutes a week. Newest is F2 to edit current cell in Excel 🙂
• I’m more of an Excel girl. I just love populating those cells! Whatever floats your anal retentive boat, I say. 😉
• I LOVE excel! Sometimes I put stuff in it even when I don’t need to. 🙂
• Wasted a bit of time tracking down that Excel problem, but it’s a beautiful thing when you find a work-around to an issue like that.
• Excel is awfully smart.

Naughty or Nice?

• I wonder if Santa’s naughty list is on an Excel spreadsheet. No, not so I can filter by sex (F), age (18-XX) & location. Definitely not.

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P.S. If you want to save dozens of minutes a week too, there’s a list of Excel keyboard shortcuts on my Contextures website.

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Running out of blue? That’s never happened to me, but you never know what problems other people are having. And Excel wasn’t invented in time for my liberal arts education, but students today could benefit from a class or two. Even those broadcast journalism majors!

Out of Sorts

• I patiently explain to him that excel allows you to order stuff and guide him through it. Asks lots of obvious questions.
• I sort one column and the rest of the data stays in one place instead of going with the same row. I can’t explain. Excel sucks.
• I don’t understand why sorting in Excel always messes things up.
• Resorted an Excel file a while back and it has sorted wrong, so all the work we’ve been doing is wrong.

Major Problems

• If ur an engineer, and ur not a big fan of usin microsoft excel, change majors…now
• It’s times like these when I wish my liberal arts education included a class in Excel.
• One more exam. Excel spreadsheets. What does this have to do with broadcast journalism you ask? F’d if I know.
• Excel class should never be at 8:30am

Blue Monday

• Excel dropping leading zero’s without any notice costs us an extra day of work or 1000 records of contacts data. )-:
• I was just told that my excel spreadsheet looks psychedelic. Haha! 😀
• Now i’m gonna run out of colours, lol. >_> I don’t think Excel has that many shades of blue. =/

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P.S. For help with sorting, see Excel Sorting Data Basics.

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Ah, the weekend. Relax and enjoy some time with your family, and Excel. You might have time to play some games, but if you have homework, don’t leave it till Sunday night – do it now! (I’m sure that I did all my homework on Saturday, way back when I was in school.)

Kid Unfriendly

• My child is playing around with an Excel spreadsheet. I’ve corrupted her already.
• The wife and I put an Excel spreadsheet together yesterday to manage my various plugin projects. Man, I should have done this earlier.
• My mom now knows how to make her own excel spreadsheet. That was a challenge but to see her change columns is rewarding.
• Just created an excel spreadsheet for our DVDs categorized by "Kid Unfriendly" "Kids" "TV Series" and "Holiday." Does that make me anal?
• Husband put our entire life into excel. Hate the constraints of all those little lines and boxes! Sometimes a girl needs circles!

Playing Games

• really hate staying up all night working on excel project unable to play my games on facebook except for a few
• What can I do for the next 2 hours that looks like work but isn’t? Sudoku kind of looks like Excel… hmm… worth a shot.
• It’s crazy how seriously I’m taking iFarm. Excel and ROI calculations are involved. I will have a windmill before EOW.

Finish Your Homework

• has not yet started his stupid AEM 145 Excel Assignment yet because… 1. i don’t get it and 2. i don’t really wanna get it.
• I know I have to use it but I don’t like using Excel for accounting homework. I can make it look better when I do it by hand.
• excel ate my homework
• Poor person who borrowed my computer, the scratch paper on my desk shows me you did all of the math by hand for your Excel assignment!

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P.S. For your Excel entertainment needs, Andy Pope has an Excel Sudoku file that you can download, and there’s a DVD Collection Database template on my website.

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According to today’s Excel tweets, bosses don’t excel in Excel. I’m sure some bosses know what they’re doing, and their employees are too busy to spend the day complaining on Twitter!

But, if your boss drives you crazy, or Excel ruins your day, you can always turn to drink. Or philosophy.

Who’s the Boss?

• I just submitted an excel spreadsheet as a document turn in. Boss is upset that it’s not in "table form". Not sure how that is possible.
• Dear Boss, why did I want to give you a PDF and not the actual excel sheet? Because I knew you’d eff it up. And you did. Thanks!
• Why is it that my boss wants to use a SUPER-DUPER-ULTRA-DETAILED Excel file? Not only will this create triplicate work, but it’s error prone
• Client asks what position his firm is in a list. Boss prints out excel sheet with (a long) unordered list and tells me to count.
• Office Rule #2: When sending an e-mail attachment of an excel spreadsheet to a superior do NOT call it a spreadshit.
• watching my boss use Excel was torture, my control freak self nearly had a meltdown
• Fun with excel: My boss wants to get rid of "that heavy border," the box that highlights the active cell. Nope, it’s not going anywhere.

Driven to Drink

• My triumph against the evil of Excel is almost complete. Then I’m off work for 4 days. I predict one or more drinks may soon be had.
• still at work. my coworker just brought wine to the office. my excel sheets just became a little bit more interesting.

Draw Your Own Conclusion

• My prof is /drawing/ an "excel "spreadsheet in the board. Yay technology.
• i guess ‘we’ (my department) has decided that using 2x (redundancy) whiteboards is more efficient than using an excel spreadsheet/database

Philosophy Corner

• Looking at a row of insipidness in a collum of inconsequence on someone’s excel spreadsheet of life.

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P.S. If your boss want you to count, you can use one of these Excel Count Functions. And if the boss wants “Table Form”, maybe an Excel Table will solve the problem.

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Some people use Excel for simple things, like a shopping list, or a bit of homework. Other people are more ambitious, and spend their days analyzing data. It’s funny though – the shopping list people seem happier than the analysts.

But either of those activities is better than helping your dad with his Excel problems. Unless, of course, your dad is a data analyst.

Analyze This

• Dear MS Excel, please play nice with MATLAB, I need you two for the data-analyzings!
• boycotting Que Publishing…1 of their books suggest to get data OUT of a database, IN to Excel so it is "easier" to analyze – Idiots!
• Has anyone used totaltesting.com or other remote excel skills test? I want to screen analysts for advanced excel skills. Thx.
• Arg. Stupid Macs not being able to do histograms in Excel. I’m trying to analysis the last 22,000 songs played on my favorite radio station
• anyone know how to use the data analysis tools in excel? Started my statistical reasoning in psychology class today.
• Going to be doing some trend analysis at work, I’m super nervous boss asked if I was pretty good with excel and bought my comp a license

Dear Dad

• Just given 50-year-old butcher dad first excel lesson.Told him how lucky he is being taught by a SQL coder.He just stared at me
• I just had a lesson from my Dad in credit cards and fancy excel tricks. Nice.
• another call from my dad wanting me to fix something in excel over the phone
• Creating a great Excel spreadsheet – another adult pleasure my childhood self would have scoffed at. My dad, data analyst, would be proud.

Christmas With Excel

• I can’t get a grasp of what gifts I have, what’s left to buy & who I’m leaving out accidentally. Clearly, it’s time for an Excel spreadsheet
• Glad for the Christmas baking Excel spreadsheet I made a few years ago. Calculates a shopping list with quty of ingredients for me!
• Yikes! My excel Christmas shopping document has disappeared! Poof!
• I have a excel spreadsheet, dating back to 2003, with details of all xmas presents I have bought by person with price and where I got them!

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P.S. For help with histograms, see Jon Peltier’s page on Histograms in Microsoft Excel. And if you need help planning Christmas, you can download my free Excel Christmas Planner.

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Now that more people are using the Excel 2010 beta, they’re tweeting about it. Some are excited about the new features, others…not so much. Some of my clients use Walmart Retail Link reports, so I’ll have to warn them about the problem in 2010.

And speaking of features, that person who needs the opposite of the Concatenate function could use Excel’s Text To Columns feature.

New Excel

• #Microsoft #Office 2010. Nothing new that excites me except Word Paste Preview and Excel Sparklines. Decided not to try the beta.
• 2010 Excel will not open Walmart Retail Link reports…This is a big problem, on my way back to 2007.
• I’m disappointed with Excel 2010’s V-Lookup feature for large amounts of data. It’s better than 2007 but still slow.
• Excel 2010 will add pivot tables that can be based on multiple tables of data. Woohoo! What, that sort of stuff doesn’t turn you on? Weird.
• *the new Excel. I could work the old one (believe it or not). graphs- done, now for the rest of the report.

New Functions

• Why doesn’t excel have a word count function? Stupid!
• Does anyone know the opposite of the "concatenate" function in Excel?
• Why doesn’t excel show the fx bar when I double-click a cell? It says on the formatting tab.
• Loving the Filtering facilities in Excel 2007 versus previous versions. Obviates writing code for many rather simple cases. A few clicks…

So Sleepy

• Sleepy.. One of the disadvantages of getting up to work on an Excel spreadsheet at 4 in the morning…
• Monday morning nightmare: 3hours class how to use excel. Almost fell asleep there 😀
• Poppies…. Poppies will put them to sleep. And if that don’t work, Excel will!

Needs More Sleep?

• Just noticed the person next to me is working on an Excel spreadsheet he titled "killme.xls" Remember, we’re all stressed about something…

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P.S. For quick filtering in Excel 2007 you can use the AutoFilter by Selection feature.

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People love pivot tables, with the exception of a few, including the person who posted the first tweet shown below. The rest of us are glowing, while living the easy life.

A Good Pivot Table

• Excel and pivot tables were created by someone with a deep-rooted hatred for people.
• It’s been three days, and I’m still glowing because people called my pivot table beautiful and professional. #dorktastic
• The only thing missing from my day is a good pivot table. Fingers crossed.
• Showing people pivot tables on excel is so fun. Seriously. The joy they get when they realize how easy life can be now is gratifying.
• is becoming a pivot table expert in preparations for Monday.

Compulsive Savers

• No freaking way to undo beyond a save in Excel??? Hating Microsoft software with a passion. Begging for Numbers.
• Remind me again.Why does Excel say sure you want to close without saving. Oh yeah, it’s so I can say no and loose all the work ive done 🙁
• Ugh. Excel just crashed 30 min worth of work…good thing I’m a compulsive saver or it could have been more…

Question of the Day

• Ever get the feeling that life’s just one big excel spreadsheet after another?

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P.S. If you want to save your Excel file with VBA, try the code in Jon Peltier’s article today: Robust VBA Save-As Technique

Or, follow Jon’s advice in the comments below:  “If you want to autosave your files to prevent losing too much data in case of a crash, don’t use the built-in autosave feature. Instead use Jan Karel Pieterse’s AutoSafe utility. It is much friendlier, and it doesn’t overwrite the current file, it instead saves a copy. AutoSafe it about the 4th item on this page: http://www.jkp-ads.com/download.asp

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Welcome to the weekend edition of Excel Twitters. It’s time to relax with friends and family, have some fun, and think about non-work things.

Speaking of fun, I don’t think that any Excel message provides more entertainment value than that “Minor loss of fidelity” alert. (Note: You can find a bit of help with Excel version compatibility on the Microsoft website.)

And who knew that Excel could be used as a wardrobe system for people who have outgrown Garanimals?

Fun and Games

• Sitting in pub next to an office party. Boss wearing mistletoe deeleyboppers, shouting about Excel. Crazy times for the boys from accounts!
• I ask my server for a good lounge he comes back with an Excel spreadsheet of dance clubs/bars/lounges talk about service
• Why my boy make a "connect 4" game out of an excel spreadsheet, and we playin over email…LOL, its actually pretty fun!
• Whoever invented games that work on Excel spreadsheets is a genius. When minimised your boss has no idea. Epic.

Love and Fidelity

• Got an error in Excel spreadsheet yesterday: "Minor Loss of Fidelity." Have decided to name my next album that.
• Excel has just warned me that saving my workbook in this format will cause "a minor loss of fidelity". Am now awaiting call from girlfriend.
• oh Excel, i thought you and i were a love story and you go and crash and give me the cold shoulder. i still love u. now get back to work.
• My roomate’s girlfriend is color coding his wardrobe and making an excel spread sheet of what outfits he can wear. Ummm…
• You have an excel spreadsheet for dating ? I think I may be seeing some of the problem you’ve been having lately… ahem… =]

Dramatic Arts

• excel consuming / every one of my brain cells / barely any left #haiku #haikuchallenge #work
• So today I’m playing with something called a pivot table. I’m rubbish at these and am considering faking a heart attack to get out it.

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P.S. There’s no Connect 4 game on Contextures Blog, but you can download an Excel Bingo game.

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Another day in Twitter, another word to Google. I’d never heard of Heinzelmännchen – had you? However, there have been more than a few Excel files that tested my swagger!

It’s a Living

• sometime an excel analysis may not mean anything and can be made to say anything that you wanna point to………. still got to do :-))
• In a meeting that consists of me sitting behind someone and watching them copy and paste links into an Excel spreadsheet.
• Nothing like putting the finishing touches on a project and then thinking, "Oh. That would have been a lot easier in Excel than in Word."
• Outside for a moment while my Excel sheet calculates. Smokers see the outdoors much more than I do.
• Only in my office will a 40yr old man say ‘ha! This excel file is testing my swagger’ wtf???

Heinzelmännchen?

• it took me two hours find out how to draw a histogram.Microsoft help didnt help I gave up and drew a bar chart instead.Excel is confusing!!
• Too many B-school grads are paid to churn out Excel tables, charts. No insights, elegant thinking there.
• Yes! All but one slide/two charts done. Could adding a second vertical axis to an Excel diagram be any less obvious??
• How did MSFT’s Excel EVER become the standard? Each time I open it up some chart has changed its formating…Heinzelmännchen? Don’t think so

Get the Lead Out

• At the end of the day, a pen and a notebook are still more reliable than a laptop and ms excel.

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P.S. Hurry! Buy the ExcelUser Dashboard Template kits at 50% off. Sale ends at midnight (Pacific Time).

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Some days we like formulas, some days we hate them, and some days we don’t even know which formula to use. Oh well, at least we have our friends to support us during the tough times. Or do we?

Tomorrow Will Suck

• Finished a budget management solution in Excel incorporating forecast and actuals variance analysis, all thanks to the SUMPRODUCT formula.
• The "transpose" feature of Excel is a bunch of crap
• How do you find out which excel function achieves the result you want? There’s too many to choose from! Blessed be the miracle of choice…
• Goddamn you Excel array formulas. I hate you more than Iceland (the store not the country)
• when i reinvent the qwerty keyboard, i’m NOT going to require a 2-button command to add parenthesis! makes excel work sooooo much longer!
• I hate tiny errors that occur in excel formulas that throw off my entire project and then take 90 mins for me to fix. Tomorrow will suck.

Real Life

• Playing with excel ……. that’s what my weekends have become ……..
• For every new Excel keyboard shortcut I learn, I might as well be CNTRL ALT Delete’ing my chances for friends in real life.
• I could see you with an excel spread sheet with all your friends on the X axis and your feelings on the Y axis.
• I’m thinking of creating a 2010 ‘Spontaneity Shedule’ in an Excel spreadsheet… 😉

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P.S. For help with SUMPRODUCT see Excel Sum Functions — Sum Excel Cells and Bob Phillips’ page on Understanding SUMPRODUCT.

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Excel tweets are not only entertaining, they’re educational. For example, I thought rigmarole was correctly spelled rigamarole, but either spelling is accepted, at least in North America.

And this batch of tweets had me googling for Balboa Turkey Trot, W2tF, Rick Flair, and FFXII. So little time, so much to learn!

New Words

• I managed to create a clustered and stacked bar chart in Excel today – what a rigmarole.
• Anyone want the Balboa Turkey Trot results in an excel spreadsheet? Let me know. Just finished import.
• 2nd day in a proper job, I phoned dad for Excel help. He’s just emailed me for the same. We both feel the significance of this moment. #W2tF
• I am the Ric Flair of Word and Excel! And maybe the Al Snow of PowerPoint?!
• you’re talking to the girl who made EXCEL CHARTS to help get the items for the Tournesol for FFXII. You have a life, I don’t! XD

Continuing Education

• We’re going to be staring at an excel spreadsheet for the next hour in this class…it’s only been 20 mins and someone’s already asleep
• it’s shocking to me how many teachers don’t use/know Excel, it’s so powerful and useful (not to mention so old!)
• Today is the first day teaching excel to a group. Why did i have this stupid idea?

I Don’t Want to Know

• Satan will take the form of Excel spreadsheet cell G-14 today and refuse to assume the proper formatting.
• Overheard this in the elevator: "I’ve got a girlfriend and nothing to show for it but some phone calls and a couple of excel spreadsheets."

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P.S. I don’t have Turkey Trot results, but you can use this template for a Daily Walking Record.

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Millions of entries, thousands of rows, too many files. Sometimes Excel chokes on the numbers and sometimes it shocks us with its powers.

And I’ve had those pivot table brain cramps, but have never run into male and female cells.

Take a Nap

• productivity would improve by 15% minimum if Office 2007 was capable of not crashing at the simplest graph & excel integration into ppt.
• Five Excel docs of at least 130 rows each plus fourteen columns plus three sheets equals I’m taking a nap and I hate tables
• Just accidentally opened up 20 Excel files and 6 PDFs at once. This is the computer equivalent of sneezing and farting at the same time.
• My work computer just told me it’s 110% done with the update I installed. All I did was open Microsoft Excel…?

This Is Shocking

• Amazing how I don’t even blink anymore when a 120k+ row Excel spreadsheet lands in my inbox
• Entrepreneur Mag: don’t make people wade thru a grotesque excel with 37 tabs. Summarize. Use English. Promote understanding. (Brad Feld)
• Excel is absolutely obliterating MATLAB at data processing right now, and for half a million entries. This is shocking to me.

Pivot Cramps

• Reading "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain." Hoping NOT to induce a cramp on the left side & destroy ability to do Excel pivot tables.
• I believe" PivotTable" is a registered trademark. "Pivot table" is not, but still very much synonymous with Excel.

Excel Question of the Day

• #Excel Question: If I have a row where each cell is either Male or Female is there an easy way to make Excel total the amount of each?

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P.S. To count specific values, you could summarize the data in a pivot table, or use the COUNTIF function.

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It’s Monday, so we’re back to work in Excel, complaining about our bosses, clients and homework assignments. That student might be in for a shock though, if he does become self-employed. Can he really avoid Excel?

Even Tiger Woods was mentioned in the Excel tweets. That’s a sign that he’s becoming successful!

Sadly Lacking

• Sometimes, it is just easier to do something for clients than explain to them how to do it themselves. Especially in Excel.
• my boss at work is like an Excel Yoda, but taller, less green and sadly lacking in comedy speech defect.
• am trying to decipher what my boss did to the excel spreadsheet i’m supposed to update. heh.

My Bad

• Our professor just told us not to touch anything in the Excel sheet he posted. Apparently he’s unfamiliar with "Undo" and "Don’t Save".
• The farther in to this Excel course I get, the more I want to scream "Screw this!" and just be self-employed :/
• I should probably have gone over EXCEL a little earlier than 12 hrs before my physics lab final… My bad.
• Making a test using excel so every kid gets a different set of questions. CHEATERS!!!
• Time for assignment that’s due this Friday. Excel pivot table on North American mushrooms. Thrilling data mining exercise indeed.

Stage Names

• Thinking of taking a Tiger Woods-style stage name appropriate to consulting. Maybe Malcolm Excel? Or Slideshow Bob

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P.S. If Tiger Woods wants to organize his tee off times in Excel, he can use my sample workbook: Assign TeeOff Times

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It’s Sunday – a day to relax with your family, or a nice Excel workbook. In today’s Excel tweets, people are helping their parents, and debating whether working in Excel is heaven or hell.

Family Time

• Just received a "helpdesk" call from my mom. Seems she hit Ctrl-P on an Excel spreadsheet without setting a range. DoSed her printer.
• Just learned that my parents have an Excel spreadsheet that tells them what TV shows to watch, the times and what shows to tape….wow.
• Still have 2 finalize my Christmas Excel worksheet. 2 much 2 keep track of w our big extended families. Gotta stay in budget. At least try!

The Office Family

• Just discovered that MS-Acess is inferior to Excel in data analysis capabilities! No wonder it is a freeby with MS Office
• Yeah, it is one of the most abused applications. Excel… Word for users that are too stupid to use tables and forms.

Heaven or Hell

• In Excel financial analysis hell. Given my applied math undergrad, and my MBA / Finance, actually loving life right now . . . #dontjudgeme
• I am in whiteboard heaven right now. Frameworks, Pivot Tables, and Diagrams.. what am I creating? my CV! That’s right i said pivot table. 😛

_________________

P.S. For help with Christmas planning you can download my free Christmas Planner template.

_________________

Finally, it’s the weekend – time for some Excel fun and games. I’m not sure why an Excel party would be adult only. Maybe that’s because of all the swearing that can occur when the formulas don’t work.

And Excel is manly? Who knew? But it’s nice to see people spelling colour correctly. 😉

Excel-lent Entertainment

• Although I think "What speadsheet software came first, Excel, Lotus 123, or VisiCalc?" eliminated more… only 8 mob winners with that one!
• That’s a shame – all the previous version of Excel had games built in to "pass the time" but Microsoft don’t do them anymore
• Come to "Excel Adult Holiday Party" Friday, December 18 from 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm
• Setlist on cellphone’s excel: check. Ironic hipster t-shirt: check. Vicks inhaler: check. Major traffic en route to gig: check.
• i can’t be bothered writing complicated code for an excel spreadsheet, i just hope everyone turns up to bowl on the weekend

Artistic Endeavours

• Its tough being an artist when the final decisions get made by people whose greatest ventures in design was 2 colour code their excel sheets
• I’m with you on the font – I tend to go for lighter more girly colours – nice juxtaposition against manly excel 😉
• What was unclear about do not change anything shaded in green in this Excel file?

_____________________

P.S. In Excel 2002 and later versions, you can change the colour of worksheet tabs.

_____________________

It’s Black Friday in the USA. In Canada, our closest equivalent shopping experience is Boxing Day, on December 26th. We buy piles of half-priced Christmas cards, wrapping paper, and ornaments, then store them away. By next Christmas, we can’t remember where they are, so we go out and buy new stuff. Very economical.

Anyway, here are some Black Friday Excel tweets. They’re not all shopping related, but there are some black days when you’re working with Excel. And if you buy something from China today, be very careful when you open the invoice.

Leftover Pie

• wow, I had to create an Excel spreadsheet just to figure out who was taking what leftovers home with them Good think I live and breath Excel
• Trying to put together a chart in Excel…why can’t I remember how to do it, and why does it keep coming out as a square pie chart?!?
• I’m making ugly pie charts in excel… I bet you wish you were me

Black Friday

• STUPID. I opened an excel doc from China (invoice for my BJD) and ended up with malware that SPAMMED EVERY FRIEND ON FACEBOOK WITH CRAP.
• there is nothing more frustrating than watching someone incompetent use Excel.
• I get so nervous when Excel asks me if I want to save changes and I KNOW I didn’t touch it.. CHANGE it Microsoft!!! PLEASE!!
• How many times do I have to have this conversation? Me: "you can’t find find your excel spreadsheet?Let me see. Ok,1st step:close out Word."

____________

P.S. For more information on Pie Charts, and better ways to show your data, read Jon Peltier’s article,  Exploded Pie Chart Replacement.

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Excel helps you prepare for the holidays, and it gives you plenty to be thankful for. Well, most of the time.

Happy Thanksgiving, if you’re celebrating today, and welcome to the Thanksgiving 2009 edition of Excel Twitters.

Thanksgiving Break

• My wife has created an excel spreadsheet for her thanksgiving meal preparation. This feast is going to be epic!
• My thanksgiving break: transforming 13 excel docs, two sheets a piece, into three word docs, fully formatted, checked, and filled in.
• Just totally geeked out in Excel. Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
• Checkout Findout Thanksgiving Day’s Date for Any Year [Excel Formulas] http://bit.ly/6SdJ61
• Planning Thanksgiving remotely. Excel spreadsheets, speaker phone, and turkey calculators.

Give Thanks

• I need to make an Excel spreadsheet of friends in town for the holidays and when I can see them.
• I am a freaking genius. Taught myself a simple Excel trick and using it make a major error-preventing improvement on our record keeping 🙂
• Turns out I am smarter than the spreadsheet, but not much.Gave myself 15 min to solve it in SQL, then checked my ego and used Excel formula.

____________

Let’s not save all the Excel Twitter posts for one day a week. I think we need them more often, in smaller batches. So, here’s an interesting collection for today.

You read these, while I try to remember where everything is in the library. Or maybe I’ll just cry in the bathroom.

Frustrating!

• Anyway, I just finished helping Mom with her Excel homework. Omg I wanna cry. Old people should not use Excel.. It was so frustrating!
• Every time I have to spend time using Excel I end up with paper, pencil and calculator next to me. I may be irredeemably analogue.
• Spent almost all day trying to outsmart Excel. Finally nailed down the right formula at 4:45. Now I won’t have to think about it all night.
• If u dont find me @ my desk its because Excel pivot tables & the "wrap text" option made me burst into tears and Im crying in the bathroom.

Mindblowing!

• The graphs I just created in Excel are so mindblowing, they’ll probably wind up in the Smithsonian as an important moment in human history.
• Visited library and now taking tour. Uhh no automated system/catalogue. Use excel and one woman knows in her head where everything is 🙂

What Do You Think?

• Looking 4 more helpful comments on our simple Excel Carbon Footprint Calc. Tell us what you think http://is.gd/52DN9
• My friend in finance wants to make better looking spreadsheets. Is there an Elements of Style for Excel? Guidance on spreadsheet design?

____________________

P.S. For guidance on spreadsheet design, you could try:

• Spreadsheet Check and Control 
• Professional Excel Development (2nd Edition)

Any other suggestions?

____________________

Do your Excel files use all 1 million rows? Do any of your calculations take 46 hours? Some people are really pushing Excel to the limits in Twitter this week. Others, perhaps the smart ones, are just dancing and drinking champagne.

And now that I think about it, I’d like to know why the vertical alignment defaults to Bottom too. I can’t think of a good reason.

A is for Apple

• Apple sent me the skankiest Excel sheet order form to complete in response to my web order for Snow Leopard licences. Yuck! + missed off UK!
• In 1985 people like KPMG bought Macs just so they could run Excel. Now it’s awful… So much for progress.
• Considering class action lawsuit against Microsoft for misrepresenting Excel for Mac as actually *being* Microsoft Excel.

Living Dangerously

• Anyone have a simple way to delete duplicates on a 150K+ Excel spreadsheet without losing grasp on sanity? Anyone? I thought not. blah.
• Excel is stupidly overrated. It’s the software equivalent to the Cheesecake Factory.
• Dare I open one more Excel spreadsheet? I already have 21 open…. Ah – why not. I like to live dangerously.
• Spilled champagne on my laptop last night. Luckily it still boots this morning; I have some heavy stats work in Excel to do.

Feeling Unfulfilled

• Excel crashes everytime I try and make a pie chart. The same with word. How am I meant to do my report now?
• In trying to figure out how to do charts in excel and its hurting my head! I feel like an old person
• 3 days of extensive Excel modeling boiled down to 12 values on a chart. It got a "OK" but "needs work" from the GM. I kinda feel unfulfilled

All in the Family

• My Dad’s earnest but messy spreadsheet of wines he’s tried. Good to know that my Excel "skills" came about honestly http://twitpic.com/pyekn
• just got off the phone coaching my mom in how to move columns up in excel. took like 5 minutes to explain. lol. i love her though.
• I’ll help your dad with his BB if you’ll explain to my mom – again – how folders work. And Word. And Excel. And Outlook.
• Did I really just get a Thanksgiving dinner excel spreadsheet email from my MIL??

Formatting Features

• Is the page layout view in Excel useful to anyone?? I highly doubt it.
• (rant) Why would Excel have default cell vert align set to "Bottom"? Just to annoy me and make me change it for _each_ spreadsheet???
• It’s Saturday, but that doesn’t stop me getting excited about kb shortcuts for excel now does it? Ctrl + _ removes borders in excel.

Stuck in Class

• In Math Class, making graphs with Microsoft Excel. I am reminded of Murray from Flight of the Conchords and his ‘friends graph’.
• It took me 2 hours to do ONE excel spreadsheet, and there are 3 due at midnight! i guess I’ll just take a 33 here. Dammit.
• I spent an hour trying to find a flaw in my excel hw…only to discover the teacher gave us the wrong answer to check against :-/
• Oh toto, we are definitely not in kansas anymore. Need an excel tutor. Will pay in food and hugs.

VBA Love…and Hate

• No wonder i couldn’t figure out macros in excel… you need to enable the developer tab in the ribbon!
• It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was Excel (with Macros).
• On Excel VBA Source. Love Excel, hate Microsoft. It’s like falling in love with a member of the BNP.

New and Improved

• I suggest if you’re doing 46 hour calcs using Excel, strapping on a cluster is like adding a rocket to a tricycle: http://bit.ly/2fuVwz
• oooh Excel 2010 can do #sparklines! I am reaaally excited about this. I might actually "up"grade from Office 2003 for that!
• Not sure why Excel gave us 1M rows but doesn’t have the capacity to let us use them. Every time I try to sort by cell color it freezes.
• Office 2010 just won me over with the simplest feature. You can copy a table from the web and paste it to excel, which didn’t work in 2007.

The Office Genius

• coworker just saw this from excel: "damage so extensive, we are not able to save your work." yikes! don’t think he’d appreciate me laughing
• I learned 2 things at work today: 1 excel does whatever it chooses to do 2 my office is just the right size to dance to ‘shes like the wind’
• The problem with coming in late to the division meeting is you miss the inspirational YouTube video and catch the excel report…
• Never mind all the hugely complex maths I do all day, my boss thinks I’m a genius because I know how to UNHIDE in Excel. :-/

__________

Flight of the Bumblebee, Excel haiku, quadratic calculators – there were some high class Excel tweets this week. Of course, there were some not-so-high class tweets too – wiggly lines, insanity by excel and yelling at homework.

But don’t worry if your balances are off by $100 or so, you probably have different versions of Excel!

No Sharing in Excel

• Note to self; Never ever EVER use excel workbook sharing EVER AGAIN.
• Trying to populate an excel spreadsheet from conflicting, inaccurate, incomplete data sources …. Arrghhhh
• Alright … it took 4 days and about 50 hours of work, but this stupid Excel sheet is finally done! Could have done it in .NET within 3 hrs.
• When I close my eyes it’s like the "Flight of the Bumblebee" sequence from Fantasia, only Excel spreadsheet cells instead of piano keys.

Chart Problems

• scours the net looking for any info on how to fix Excel 2007 so that it doesn’t forget that a given workbook has names for its chart sheets.
• Injury: 20+ tabs of carefully named excel graphs inexplicably renamed chart 1, chart 2, etc. Insult: Excel help asks me to be facebook fan.
• Bar charts that don’t start at 0 often have a wiggly line on the y-axis. What’s that called/how do I get one on MS Excel?

Insanity By Excel

• I talk to myself when I’m doing analysis in Excel. Problem is, I’m at one long table with about four random people who prob think I’m crzy.
• Work #haiku of the day: Export Contacts Fail / Hurls the excel data out / No rhyme or reason.
• Excel is 24 years old. Why are we still calling them workbooks? Who does spreadsheets on paper? What spreads? Acoustic guitar.
• Is "insanity by Excel" a reasonable alibi?

Top Formulas

• I think the subtotal() function in Excel has to be one of the top formulas. Essential for any calculated filtered content.
• I love it when you input a circular reference in Excel. It totally freaks out.
• autofilters and the subtotal funtion – I am in Excel heaven
• Is it wrong to use Excel’s randbetween(1,9) function for the table arrangements at our wedding?!

So Much Order

• i know i’m a dork, but i love working in Excel. 🙂 All the rows & columns & formulas. So much order. Ahhhh
• Proud of nerd auditor accomplishment: managed to compress a 10799 line excel workbook into 726 lines 😀
• halfway through!! miracle. Microsoft Access does everything Excel can but only in ways that are harder and that make you feel more stupid.
• thank goodness for excel data validation. i will no longer tolerate the screwing up of my created spreadsheets!

Refresher Course

• Prof basically told us that to get 100% on some questions on the final, we need to find a way to sneak out and use Excel. (ie. Impossible)
• Will attempt to finish the Excel refresher course tonight and hope I don’t get any dirty looks from anyone at work tomorrow. dun dun dun…
• I. HATE. EXCEL. SO. MUCH. I am fairly positive I have never YELLED at my homework before. Until now. Stupid tables. Stupid formulas. Stupid.
• How many PhDs does it take to export an address list to an Excel spreadsheet?

Inappropriate Use

• Is the inappropriate use of Excel spreadsheets the cause of the financial crisis? http://bit.ly/14JWFA
• First time I ever use Excel seriously and I put in a functioning quadratic calculator. I learn fast.
• You know you’re a hopeless nerd when you set up an Excel spreadsheet with weightings and conditional formatting to help you buy a car.
• My wife just told me that my kids are using the toyrus website to build an excel spreadsheet for their christmas lists. Loving my geek kids.

Analyze It Intently

• Just asked someone to export her works table as excel. She made an image of it and stuck it on a spreadsheet. Sigh
• I love looking at Excel sheets with tons of numbers and having no idea where the numbers came from. But my dept is up!!!
• Coworker: I got $456,890. We are a hundred dollars off.Boss of me: It’s OK, I have a different version of Excel than you do.
• Tips on how to look busy: print out an Excel spreadsheet with lots of info and walk around analyzing it intently.

___________

Hmmm. “Boaring but neccisary.” Perhaps that tweeter should be doing spelling tutorials, instead of Excel. Or maybe they could create an Excel file of swear words, where spelling isn’t so important.

And if anyone asks you how to insert an Excel sheet into Word, you can refer them to Shauna Kelly’s Word tips website, for that and other useful tutorials.

Anyway, it’s been a while since I posted a collection of Excel-themed tweets, so I hope you enjoy these. And remember, bosses like charts.

Please Help

• I spent all day working on a huge excel spreadsheet this week & then pressed "don’t save" when shutting down. nearly wept!
• Trying to make three totally different spreadsheet match. Excel shouldn’t be guesswork, but this is.
• Friends: Am currently trapped in the library by an evil Excel spreadsheet. Far from any vending machine. Stomach inverting. Please help.

The Art of Charts

• I know, I love Excel but some things do suck. Gantt charts are ok though, especially if it looks like your doing loads of work.
• That’s because Excel is trying to tell you that pie charts are the Comic Sans of the graphical display of quant information world.
• Learning to create charts in Excel. Surprisingly, not a life skill taught to people who major in poetry. Let me be a lesson to you, kids!
• After putting up some dynamic charts and calling them dashboard, it dawns upon me that its more of an art than excel skills.

Emotionally Invested

• It’s also amazing how emotionally invested you can become in a single Excel spreadsheet!
• just got really excited about an excel sheet i made. then realized how sad that was. now i’m depressed (with an awesome spreadsheet)
• Wow I just got handed a spreadsheet which is pretty much an application in itself, had no idea you could do this with excel.
• Watching a real expert manipulate an Excel spreadsheet… it’s almost performance art. Waou.

Excel-ent Comedy

• I can see Rikers Island out my office window,very inspiring during this heavy excel spreadsheet session .typing in Cells looking at Cells
• i’m offering 5 dollars for someone to come over and do microsoft excel spreadsheet for me. i’ll even come pick you up. PLEASE.
• Bill Gates and Montgomery Burns have launched a new spreadsheet application for the Nuclear power industry, it will be called ‘Excel-ent’

Boaring But Neccisary

• I am doing online tutorials for excel, boaring but neccisary
• I just experienced 30 minutes of training on how to format an Excel spreadsheet. Shouldn’t even the lowest common denominator know that?
• Completed Exel training & am now an Excel greenbelt! I can break a thin piece of wood in half with my spreadsheet. Beware!
• Ok, you’re Masters students in a library program – you should know how to find different sheets in an EXCEL workbook. COME ON!!!!!!!!

Pivot Table Fetish

• also, I’m a little concerned that my husband has a pivot table fetish. more concerned that he chose to reveal it to me at my parents’ house.
• Apparently, someone ASKED for this pivot table training. For the record, it was NOT me.
• It’s okay. If I were in charge of the world, I’d create a way to calculate median on an excel pivot table. Just saying.

This Scares Me

• Peeking through her fingers at her content audit spreadsheet. It’s like excel went out, got drunk and slept with a cheap search engine.
• Hm. Someone just sent me an Excel spreadsheet full of localised swear words, and I’ve no idea why.
• If I knew all it would take for my kid to try tomatoes was a dandy Excel chart, I’d have done it sooner! http://is.gd/3P1Bs
• My wife made an Excel spreadsheet to track McDonalds Monopoly pieces. This scares me and explains our cholesterol issues.

Macro Evolution

• I just wrote 20 lines of vba code to replace around 1/2 million formulas in my Excel finance workbook, awesome.
• Macro evolution is what happens when you send an unprotected Excel spreadsheet to guys in the field. But the changes are never beneficial.
• how much excel workbook coding does it take to go insane? I must be pretty close.

Bosses Like Charts

• people running at work…surely nothing in accountancy is urgent? ‘I’ve lost my calculator!’/’My Excel spreadsheet won’t print on A3!’
• I’ve learned something in my 10-year career as an Excel guru: Bosses like charts.
• Coworker: "Do you guys know if you can insert an excel spreadsheet into word?" Me: I dunno, take the time it took 2 walk over here and try.
• i just taught a ‘senior associate’ how to insert a row in an Excel spreadsheet. if i find out she makes more than I do, we have a problem.

__________________

I’m not doing weekly Twitter posts any longer, because of all the spam in Twitter. However, here are a couple of recent Excel related tweets with interesting links. Who knew that you could do knitting with Excel?

• Create your own lace knitting chart with Excel. http://bit.ly/aKCqU
• Forget Excel: 14 Online Spreadsheet Applications http://bit.ly/cIpMO#mb

_________________

Are Excel nerds Rock Stars? Should we hear applause after each brilliant performance? People were celebrating the small Excel victories in Twitterville this week. Speaking of celebrations, it’s Ken Puls’ birthday today, and Nick Hodge is getting married this weekend, so best wishes to them.

I’m not a historian, so can’t vouch for the accuracy of the Obama claim in this weeks tweets, but it’s interesting anyway. Meanwhile, other dads were causing Excel problems for their long suffering children. And I’m not sure who’s making those poisonous bacon claims, but Mike Alexander would be my first suspect.

Finally, if you were one of the winners in the Summer Giveaway for Excel Nerds, you should have received an email from me. If not, please email me

Father Knows Best

• It’s time for bed. Just gave my father a Microsoft Excel tutorial by phone. I’m tired!
• My dad stopped by for a simple Excel question…..2 hours later we finished
• Went to Dad’s for the annual printing and reset of an Excel spreadsheet. How he ended up with two sons in the computer industry is beyond me
• Funky visual effect when this macro is run due to VBA being finicky with selection requirements shouldn’t be there, but Dad (boss) likes it

Off the Charts

• Goddamnit Microsoft, why did you deem it necessary to make the chart interface for Excel 2007 vastly different from 03 but somehow worse?
• O, Excel. Nobody wants to add an axes label after creating a chart. Thanks for making that completely inscrutable. MATLAB will let me. Pfff!
• Can anyone make a Mac graphing utility – for designers, mind you, none of that mathy stuff – that a) works and b) has options like Excel?

Rousing Applause

• I want to be a musician so I can get accolades after each of my tasks. Excel spreadsheet? Clap clap! RFP? Rousing applause!
• U know u’re an accounting nerd when u figure out how to do smthing new in excel and jump out of your seat pump ur fist and scream YES!
• Grace>Excel. Successfully fixing a spreadsheet led to a private dance party – a kind of joy that copying/holepunching just can’t provide
• Cowoker & I behaved as if we just won the lottery when we managed to get numbers from 2 different Excel models match each other. Oh, yeah!

Small Steps

• see, I told you. Excel triggers it. Its a specific cell when used as a SUM, emits poisonous bacon particles
• Excel, I love you / I do all the logistics / You do all the math. #haiku
• Obama becomes first US president to use the word “spreadsheet” in a speech. One small step for man, one giant leap for Excel.
• 95% of the stuff you might want to accomplish in MS Access you can do in Excel with 10% the effort.

No Problem

• Create a price-list in excel for spare parts for the Robinson 44 and 22. No problem, I said – which was before I saw the 14.000 part-list.
• There is something utterly sweet about your man offering to create formulae for your wedding seating chart spreadsheet. I hate Excel.
• Doing an excel spreadsheet to list my inventory of all music gear and insturments, bordem or maturity?

Re-inventing the Wheel

• Excel file size creep? Stand back, this is a job for my poor grasp of vba.
• #worstDevMemory Finding a comment in the VBA “‘This will require the server to be rebooted”
• Wrote Excel VBA Add-In to clean non-printing characters out of my data. Wonder how many times that wheel has been re-invented.

Rock Stars

• Will be reciting Excel equations in my sleep tonight. My colleague taught me so much today! My bff said “Excel could raise a child”.
• I have a excel spreadsheet i will splash across the screen when the boss stomps past. god help me if she doesnt wear her boots!
• After looking at excel sheets since 10am..my conclusion. I am soo gonna work my ass off at magic cause real jobs aint my thing!
• Can we stop using the term “Rock Star” to describe professional capacity? Formatting an Excel worksheet doesn’t = headlining an arena tour.

What did we learn in Twitter this week? Excel can improve your health, or make you feel like a time-poor hack. Good thing a sense of humour will help you get through the week, even if your 17-year-old self wouldn’t recognize you. And no, that tired and cranky tweeter wasn’t me!

Now remember, don’t let your kung-fu get rusty, and keep pimping that Excel shiz.

Health Benefits

• dude, my hand muscles are going to be so RIPPED from all of this excel work. HUGE.
• I’m surprised $MS hasn’t tried marketing excel as a hangover remedy based on their past fails.
• fighting off the urge to fall right asleep – who knew excel formulae had such a lulling effect? This could the cure to insonmnia!
• Microsoft Excel … keeping those of us with OCD happy for more than 20 years.

Stupid Questions

• Why does rotating text in Excel make it look like it was produced by the unabomber’s typewriter?
• I am tired and cranky and working on an excel spreadsheet. I wouldn’t ask me any stupid questions right now.
• When am I going to learn to format my excel sheets after I am done instead of 20 billion times during?

Screwing Things Up

• OH.. was that *me* who pasted tattoo artist Stephen Huie’s URL into my boss’ excel spreadsheet and then EMAILED it to him? yes, yes it was.
• Screwing things up in Excel.. I thought I was an Excel genius.. So difficult to admit i’m not… Still need to work it out tho…
• Over-complex accounting spreadsheet baffles time-poor hack who previously thought he knew a bit about Excel…
• I am resigning my membership to the “MS Excel Experts Alliance” since I couldn’t sort a sheet correctly last night. lol 1 screw up & ur out.

An Acquired Taste

• No consolation I know, but I made a rather splendid buffet/MS Excel pie-chart joke today in a meeting. No-one laughed.
• Today wrote the line “Sexit Sub” when coding VBA… and laughed. I need to get out more.
• Excel: did you hear the one about the sum that broke the rules? It was put in a cell!

No Limit

• There is no limit to the ways the human imagination can misuse an Excel spreadsheet. I mean, it’s a frickin’ art form.
• before ms excel – guest post by Carolyn Fraser http://bit.ly/QBcdM
• Great download-able (Excel) list of 415 Museums on Twitter prepared by @MuseumMarketing http://ow.ly/hRJc
• How much are your memories worth?…http://bit.ly/BKToD theres even an Excel spreadsheet!?!?

VBA Skills

• good grief, my excel kung-fu is rusty as hell. remember when i could do VBA? yeah, me neither, apparently.
• I just entered the Code For Excel and Outlook blog contest #cfeao http://tinyurl.com/mlr7mm
• Nesting IF’s and VBA I do not how I got here! tip dont volunteer to streamline an excel spreadsheet, at work!, I am in cell A5998-help!!
• Just finished my interview. The guy said basically that I may be too business analytical for the needs of his vba reporting. What?

Office Politics

• What’s the best way to tell your colleague that Microsoft Excel meant it to be pronounced “pih-vut” and not “pie-vatt” table?
• What you don’t want to hear in part of a conversation about a broken excel spreadsheet, is your name mentioned as a person who could help…
• Late night PPT creations and Excel formulations…my 17 year old self would not even know me. Hello Corporate Canada.

Just Me?

• I love the smell of excel in the morning.
• In Excel, does everyone else immediately start singing Run DMC as soon as you hit the “wrap text” radio button? Just me?
• had a great week pimping that excel shiz

_____________________

Excel will soon be in the clouds, where we’ll spend our days, floating and calculating. Well, that’s the way I picture it.

Meanwhile, back on earth, Nascar, webmaster interns and the IMF are struggling along with older versions of Excel. And now, faster than you can spell Concatenate or hide a worksheet, here’s this week’s list of Excel themed tweets.

Charts Rock

• Heh. Really pleased thst MS have read their Tufte. Excel sparklines rock.
• Ugh, do NOT want to make charts in Excel. I’m a webmaster intern, not an administrative assistant. 🙁
• Once again conquered making a waterfall chart in Excel! Now I can go home.
• excel is the WORST. the minute you find something that will make my charts look dope, PLEASE let me know.

Impressive Functions

• Just used the ‘CONCATENATE’ function in Excel. It would have been just as quick to type the text I wanted to ‘CONCATENATE’!
• I’m 17,500 days old today! How about you? MS Excel: enter birthdate in one cell, @today() in another, subtract!
• I just owned an excel spreadsheet with an If function nested in a Vlookup. I impress myself.
• Oh my gosh!! I managed to key in the LINEST function for Excel correctly! Yaaaaaaay!!!

Nerds Unite

• so excited, JL just sent me this link http://blog.contextures.com/ – amazing! Excel Nerds Unite 😉
• Golf is to Sports what Microsoft Excel is to Video Games.
• cleaning my dad’s office. We just found some really really old version of MS Excel in 9 parts on 9 floppy disks, omg

Have Some Nutella

• I love the feel of an Exel Pivot Table adding up to my original numbers. A sense of accomplishment surpassed only by eating Nutella.
• I hate how you can’t create multiple pivot charts from a single pivot table in #excel. Annoying.
• OK Excel gods I learned my lesson. Never use Pivot Charts. Please don’t corrupt and erase my junk again.

Very Scary!

• Sorry mac peeps, but Nascar runs on windows and excel. Every team has multiple spreadsheets open.
• Found out that the IMF does most of its calculations using Microsoft Excel. Very scary!
• bloke at work is drawing up children name options on an excel spreadsheet to define the favorites. Poor child has no chance. This is my day.

Contaminate the Planet

• Had to relearn all the basics of vb and vba again. I did however have those “hell yea! It’s working”-moments again. Happy times…
• I make EVERY endeavor not to contaminate the planet with more VBA than it already has!!!
• Using Excel VBA to generate my reports from data I acquire from the Providence Journal http://bit.ly/136Phr
• Oh, I am so so happy to be coding in VBA again. Feel like printing ‘My name is x’ in different colours all over screen with goto 10 loop.

For the Love of Pete

• Today’s anguish will mostly be sponsored by: Microsoft Excel
• Now I hate Microsoft Excel and the fact that it lets people hide worksheets. Why the hell would they do that?
• If you’re going to use Excel to write reports, for the love of Pete PLEASE note your data source to help the next poor sucker (me).
• Microsoft releasing free version online for Word & Excel in 2010? bah..i need it now 🙁
• Employees: please don’t store your passwords in an excel spreadsheet on your desktop labeled “passwords”

_______________________

Oh, those Excel chart people, always complaining about something. Maybe it’s the heat that’s making them cranky. Good thing the rest of us are happy! Well, most of the rest of us – there were a few other complaints along the way. 82d3i9phx4

As usual, you can learn a few interesting things, such as how to draw a town map, and how to get a girl to marry you. And AC/DC isn’t the only music that you can hear in Excel.

Consider Yourself Lucky

• what I hate about Excel is there is a 112 different ways to do the same damn thing…anyone ever heard the concept KISS… damn
• Consider yourself lucky — I’ve had a list of URLs sent to me that was a SCREENSHOT of an Excel spreadsheet.
• I can’t turn off Excel’s ‘auto-update links’ facility without opening the spreadsheet; which automatically updates the linkes, aaargh!
• MS Excel just became a 4th grade teacher and told me “There are too many spelling or grammatical errors to continue displaying them”

Bitching and Excel Charts

• I’m sure there’s a knack to creating good excel graphs and charts, and I’m sure that I don’t have it.
• Aarrgh! Charting in Excel 2007 is completely fukced up. A guy can only build so many workarounds.
• Wow Excel 2007 charting is so bad it even makes you spell curse words wrong.
• After conferring w/ a friend, I’ve decided my twitter theme shall be “Bitching and Excel Charts”.

Excel Was Created For This

• Drawing maps … in Excel : http://tr.im/qXxx
• Mike just sent an Excel spreadsheet w/ all the Harry Potter movie times for 5 diff theaters next week. Just one reason why I’m marrying him.
• One thing Microsoft and most 12-year-olds with a cell phone have in common: too many acronyms. Thankfully, Excel was created just for this.
• Design floor plans with Excel: http://om.ly/?pMw
• Whoa, two Excel music animations in one day! http://bit.ly/Dcpul and http://bit.ly/J35Gx

Suddenly Lame

• How much do I hate you Excel ? Let me count the ways. Oh, I can’t. The formula is broken. Again.
• I just used IF, ISNA, OFFSET, MATCH and COUNTIF all in one formula. I am an Excel spreadsheet demigod.
• Going to create a support group for programmers whose closest programming is now complicated excel formulas. Call it Suddenly Lame Anonymous

On the Rocks

• Just finished a spreadsheet on Excel for dad. He didn’t even let me check Twitter in between.
• I hate you Excel. Our relationship is on the rocks. Will be changing my FB status in a moment.
• anyone got an Excel book?

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Cryptography, crime fighting, dyscalculia – it’s been another exciting week of Excel revelations in Twitter. But while some have been dragged to the dark side, others see art and beauty in Excel. And who looks at some old code and wonders what idiot wrote it? Nah, that’s never happened to me!

The Bright Side

• Just distilled a day’s worth of work into a 10 second process. I am the emperor of Excel.
• ms excel 2007 – where have you been all my life? more than 3 conditions for conditional formatting? auto-remove dups? auto table formats?!
• just found out that we’re going to get into day 40,000 this monday july 6th. excel has day 0 in 1900. scared?

The Dark Side

• carefully checked excel sheet before replicating it 15 times When I was done I found the error that now has to be fixed 15 times
• Populating another Excel document that quite possibly will never be looked at or referenced in the future.
• Oh god. I am being dragged over to the dark side. An ‘up’grade to Excel 2007 looks inevitable. By the end of the week… Agh.
• Granted, a lot of my hate for Excel has to do with my hate for algebra. I have a long, intimate relationship with dyscalculia.

Data Analysis

• I love how pasting a excel chart into illustrator gives you an editable vector 🙂 pretty friggin handy!
• My Data Analyst job is slowly being made redundant. Stop making it easy to interpret data. please? http://tiny.cc/bXuhh Long live MS Excel

Anger Management

• Man, I hate Excel. If you select multiple cells, there is no way to de-select just one. You have to start over. Unbelievable.
• http://twitpic.com/8u7ci – According to Microsoft, I created and saved an Excel file 1st January 1601 at 02.00.
• Wow! My just opened up an Excel wizard and then said “Man, this looks complicated.” Even MS Office wizards are tricky.
• http://twitpic.com/8u2ri – MS Excel hidden anger management function “DAVE RAGE”, no idea what it does, afraid to find out!

Classic Pivot Tables

• is amazing herself with what she can do in excel with a pivot table…its a beautiful thing!
• Little things like finally finding the ‘Classic PivotTable layout’ checkbox in Excel 2007 make me REALLY happy.

Grooving

• What happens when a MacBook, an Excel spreadsheet, the music of Sigurrós and a can of Coke Light come together? A kick-ass project plan!
• Geeking out in Excel and grooving to Beck. Sometimes I don’t hate my job.
• spreadsheets in my business, excel on my mind, in the office all day, no time to unwind.

Career Plans

• Opened up Excel to find out I’d lost yesterday’s 90 minutes of work – somehow it hurts more when you know you did the work on a Sunday.
• Just bought this slick wireless 10-key that has integrated Excel shortcuts: http://tinyurl.com/nbxsxg
• My preferred career plan: Speechwriter who fights MS Excel crime by night
• Sometimes I leave an older excel window open on my computer screen so it looks like I am doing work….

Cracking the Code

• this cryptography course is giving me plenty of opportunity to brush up on my Excel skills. Excel can help with most pre-WW2 ciphers.
• MS Excel 2003 still kicks ass: “Excelence” – A demo made in Excel! http://is.gd/1lh2p #demoscene #bp09 (ed. You might want to turn the volume down for this one!)
• is wondering if microsoft looked at all other programming languages and decided to do the OPPOSITE when designing VB/VBA. It’s useless!
• Revised an old VBA program for a new client; what moron coded this? <ahem>

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Excel wonks? I’m not sure what those are, but I hope it’s a good thing! There were a few interesting links in the Excel tweets this week, and some creative similes. One person has been using a workbook for the past 10 years. I’m sure you have a few Excel files that are older than that! Are there some really old ones that you still use regularly?

And those guys are way too late with their idea for a pivot table group in Facebook. But maybe they could organize a Twitter campaign to get Excel fixed. Now, I’m off to work on some Mad Libs.

Excel Wonks

• I know, I know. bacon done… sandwich eaten. Progressing to the Excel spreadsheet and filtering data, hmm.
• Another good site for fellow excel wonks – http://www.contextures.com/tiptech.html
• I make more Excel spreadsheets by 9 AM than most people make all day. The few, the proud, the former-Marines-who-now-work-in-a-cubicle.

Little Shop of Horrors

• This workbook has gone from merely having a size complex to just being stroppy. It’s like a difficult tennager.
• Forced to use Excel today. It’s like going to Steve Martin’s dentist character from Little Shop of Horrors.
• Dealing with Microsoft Excel 2000 is like using flint tools to skin a bison. Frustrating.

Thanks for the Feedback

• Hell is spending 30 minutes and counting on the phone trying to teach my dad how to sort a column in Excel.
• When the Microsoft Office Excel recovery programme also crashes, you know you’re in for a world of pain
• Amount of time spent in Excel ’08 today: 20 minutes. Approx portion of that time spend sending feedback to MS about this crappy program: 67%
• Outlook is broken and these folks want Microsoft to fix it: http://fixoutlook.org/ How about EXCEL? Fix Excel…

Chart Wizards

• I sworn I’d never be that guy, the guy who sits in a cube all day making Excel pie charts and bar graphs – yet here I sit….
• Really geeking it up today – Interesting way to do Multiple-baseline charts in excel http://peltiertech.com/Excel/Charts/StackedLine.html
• Excel’s Chart Wizard is the Mad Libs of statistical graphics: template-driven and frequently yielding ludicrous results.

A Zillion Years of Excel

• Number crunching for the past zillion years! The guy who invented excel in 1985 is single handedly responsible for birth of mgmt consulting!
• You made me laugh. “Excel obsolete soon?” Spreadsheets jump started the PC revolution. They’re not leaving anytime soon.
• I just started an excel spreadsheet around 10 years ago and have kept using it since.

Dog’s Breakfast

• no need for Illlustrator, Excel is all you need http://bit.ly/No1Jg (via @jzy) Insane YouTube vid, wonder how long it actually took.
• Made an excel spreadsheet for all the medicine my dog has to take twice a day… We’ll see how he likes those pills at 4 am tomorrow…
• Writing data extraction routines to create skills database. As usual data captured in stupid way in spreadsheet. Excel refuge of the sloppy.

A Typical Tuesday

• As one entrepreneur told me, “With a couple of beers and an Excel spreadsheet, you can make a lot of money in no time.” – WSJ
• Just got a job offer from the Scottish Parliament using VB.NET and VBA – dont know which is worse :S
• Afternoon agenda: Clean up this excel grid, go meet Sandra Day O’Connor, finish weekly POS report. You know, just your typical Tuesday.

Meet Girls

• maybe we should start a pivot table group on facebook. great way to meet girls probably huh? 😉
• Don’t trust anyone over thirty. At least when it comes to word or excel.
• please remember that the last guy I went out with won me over with, “What’s your favorite Excel function?”
• Create an interactive whiteboard Jeopardy game easily using Microsoft Excel. http://bit.ly/kD0KU

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Well, I should have been working all day, but decided to take a bit of time to relax and catch up on some reading (of RSS feeds). At the Lost in Technology blog, was a link to XtraNormal, where you can write, cast and direct an animated movie. That sounded like more fun than working, so off I went.

And here’s the first (and probably last) installment in Excel Theatre. Please note the giant spreadsheet in the background. I think it adds to the tension in this dramatic presentation. Just so you know – the dialog is corny, the actors are wooden, the plot is weak and the costumes are pitiful. Other than that, it’s pretty good. 😉

Note: The animated actors had a tough time pronouncing INDIRECT, so I had to spell it IN DIE WRECKED in the script, to make it understandable. Fortunately, that seemed to help, and the key word is clearer in the video now.

The INDIRECT Function

If you haven’t used INDIRECT before, it’s a formula that returns a reference to a range, based on a text string. As the video pointed out, you can use an absolute reference to a cell, to “lock” the reference, and keep if from changing if you copy the formula to a different cell. However, if the referenced cell moves, the absolute reference changes to match the new location.

For example, in the screenshot below, cell C2 contains an absolute reference to cell A1, and cell C3 contains an INDIRECT formula that refers to cell A1.

If you insert a blank row at the top of the worksheet, the formula in cell C2 changes, and it now refers to cell A2. Because it’s a text string, the reference in the INDIRECT formula doesn’t change. It returns a zero because cell A1 is now empty.

Using the INDIRECT Function

You can use INDIRECT in dependent data validation lists, or to prevent a cell reference from being affected by a move, or create cell references from a combination of cell values and text.

For more information on the INDIRECT function, and examples of how to use it, please visit the INDIRECT Function page on my website.

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Who knew that Dirty Projectors could make music, let alone create lyrics in Excel? This is the kind of startling information that you can learn in Twitter. Other nuggets of knowledge gleaned from this week’s tweets – birthday parties go better with charts, jewelers need Excel, and Excel is psychic. The beer thing, I already knew.

Take That!

• I hate numbers. And Excel. And numbers that should be the same but that aren’t. For no reason. And people who think that I should know why.
• Dear Microsoft Excel: You are not psychic. Please stop pretending that you know what I want to do. Thank you.
• if my excel freezes one more time im going to continue waiting patiently for it to start working again…take that microsoft!

Years Really Fly

• Ah man. I am already creating charts in Excel. My developer life is *over*. I am slowly turning into a manager.
• thinking my self-proclaimed knowledge of excel was pure hubris. I have no idea how to change the range for this damn bar chart.
• I decided to write down my goals for the future. Three years really fly when they’re on Excel charts… College is only twelve rows away!
• You wouldn’t think that there is much to go into a 2 year old’s birthday party, but my trunk is loaded with stuff including and excel chart!

Fun and Games

• only pitchers of cold beer at half off can alleviate the trauma of daily intense use of microsoft excel
• rick connected the mac-mini to our 40″ flat screen tv~ yikes~the possibilities & imagine running the Excel APP on this screen~way cool!
• And that I’d be a lock for the All Star game if it was based on Excel Spreadsheet ability

Deep Thoughts

• I want to make an excel spreadsheet called sior
• why you can scroll down endlessly in MS Excel where u can’t do so in MS Word for instance!!
• My equations are tight, maths more than aight, I rock Excel, like it’s Saturday night. #badrhymes
• how many calories are burned in a staff meeting? Or typing an excel spreadsheet? Not enough, of that I am sure.

School Daze

• Oh man this Computer Science degree is really helping me programmatically color cells in Excel.
• The teacher ask us if we are liking excel. Everybody answer nooooooooo! hahahahahahahaha xD

Strike Awe

• Can’t help but feel anal as I plan out my drop bags in Excel. But: Luck is the residue of design…
• Dirty Projectors strike awe, Excel spreadsheet-derived lyrics and all http://bit.ly/3zqbH #musicmonday
• most will write their autobiography on Word written in standard book form – mine is an Excel spreadsheet workbook.
• Import web analytics data from Google Analytics in to an Excel spreadsheet http://tr.im/oTQi #wa

Excel Skills Are Like Gold

• I was trained in business that if it wasn’t in excel then what good is it!
• Jewelry shoppe needs a silversmith on staff. A silversmith who can build Excel costing models.
• Today’s interview went downhill when the Exec handed me a pad of graph paper and asked me to write code for an abstract MS Excel scenario.

MacGyver, coffee cake and Klondike bars  – Excel goes with everything. There were lots of interesting Excel related tweets this week, as you can see. And no, that wasn’t J-Walk who got the “I Love Excel” mug, but he must have a twin somewhere. Or maybe it was Jon Peltier — it’s his birthday today.

You can check out Mike’s new Excel and Access blog, Bacon Bits, and tell him that he should get a Twitter account – I’m sure he could be just as entertaining in 140 characters or less.

Why It’s Called a “Spread” Sheet

• A frustrating and BORING admin day. Mainly working in Excel *groan*. I would like some coffee and walnut cake to make it less Snoresville
• Chillin’ on a high dose of NCIS after a jalapeño chicken kebab and helping my son with Excel charts. XLNT!
• Massive excel project to do. All nighter? Check. Massive bottle of coke? Check. Sanity intact come morning? Um…we’ll see
• A tasty ice cappucino with caramel syrup and my excel problems are solved 🙂
• excel spreadsheets, shipleys doughnuts, coffee, and good music = a great morning!
• Reading BaconBits, new Excel and Access blog by Mike Alexander of DataPig

Yikes!

• Only the power of Microsoft Excel and my highschool physics notes can save me now!
• Do you hate it when someone touches your screen? as in pointing out a number on excel? I do.
• 479 beers in the excel spreadsheet, take one down, put it in the database, 478 beers in the excel spreadsheet. #Tedious #boring #horrible
• Strange design brief – “using excel, make this spreadsheet look like it’s been designed in a high-end graphics package”. Yikes.

Colourful Charts

• Yorkshire and Humber Euro result pie chart . Excel’s crap, but a I got the colours to match the parties.
• I make a lot of charts in Excel. Found http://www.colorbrewer.org and I no longer fuss with effective color schemes. Perfect!

PIV-OT!

• The world is full of fools that don’t know how to use excel, but as soon as they learn how to do a pivot table, they think they are pros!
• me v Excel. I’m launching pivot table bombs, it is responding with devastating #VALUE! Missiles
• can’t do a pivot table without thinking of Ross screaming “PIV-OT” while moving in a couch on that episode of Friends.

Creative Arts

• found in an cell J125 of an excel file today: “why didn’t i just listen to my mother && become a rapper?”
• For my birthday I got a pair of sandals, a banjo and an “I love Excel” mug. I love them all but fear that makes me some kind of demographic
• hate some documents like boring excel lists you dont need anymore? destroy them in a creative way. http://the-unloader.com

Nifty Tools

• I love the J-Walk & Associates Conditional Row Delete Add-In for #Excel. Saves me at least 1 hour a week.
• Excel Users, CRM – watch this company’s tool – best I have seen yet (and use it):

Flush With Success

• How did I plan the menu at my wedding? Ask people for their choices, then aggregate popularity with an excel spreadsheet. But still a pain.
• reviewing an excel spreadsheet of 1500 profane words you cannot use to describe what you’d do for a klondike bar. my job is fun.
• Feeling more productive lately, fixed Ashley’s toilet, created an excel spreadsheet to calculate my cost of living, and writing a song 🙂

MacGyver Vs. Google

• developing a complex thing with VBA feels like being mcguyver that uses duct tape and a pocket knife to build an airplane
• my excel VBA skills are as sharp as ever. Only took 20 mins to figure out how to access a custom workbook property (incl. googling time)

Hold music for Excel? That’s a good idea. Maybe Jon could work on that when he goes on that long vacation. In the meantime, please don’t drink, speak French, and try Excel tongue twisters. Or at least don’t try all at the same time.

Thanks for Waiting

• Working all day on an Excel spreadsheet is like hooking a vacuum directly to your soul.
• An Excel spreadsheet should be no larger than your monitor. Otherwise you go blind scrolling right and left and up and down.
• I wish I could bill MS 1 hour for every 1 day I’ve wasted on Excel 2007 (and couldn’t bill my clients). I could go on a long vacation.
• MS Excel for Mac needs hold music, and one of those messages: “Thanks for waiting, your spreadsheet is very important to us.”

Chart Distractions

• It’s utterly stupid that Excel 2007 STILL cannot save a chart as an image file without jumping through several hoops.
• protip: add a graph to excel spreadsheets. Don’t worry, it doesn’t need to relate to the rest of the data. That’s for nerds…
• Trying to create an excel chart that has a floating axis and I’m being distracted by people nearby speaking loudly in French.

Solid Gold

• 8 hours. 50 lines of spreadsheet. Solid gold. Well, not literally, of course! Yellow was the closest Excel shading colour I could find.
• Seeking perfection in an Excel spreadsheet. Feeling certain that I’m the not-so-distant ancestor of a Borg.
• If Excel was a game I’d be MVP.

Google That

• Needed some ms excel tips (for drawing a live status complete bar) and bing proved better than google .. blood is thicker than competition
• Google Squared has been released today – “It’s like Google search had a lovechild with Microsoft Excel” http://tr.im/no59
• why does excel crash every time i go to select data for a graph – i wish you could phone microsoft like we can phone Google…

Excel and Twitter

• My twitter background was made using excel. Is that cool or am I just a nerd? Or both!
• You can export your follower lists to excel with www.friendorfollow.com. Includes bio/location info.

It’s Better Than Actual Work

• The NY Times thinks it breaking news that marketers read Excel spreadsheets and do actual analysis! http://bit.ly/n2RAq
• Library inventory sucks. Adding to the Excel spreadsheet everything the student left off. Made him go finish last stack since he’s lazy.
• I felt the need to use Microsoft Excel for something, so I used it to make a finals studying schedule. Instead of actually studying. D:

VBA Sucks

• I’ve got hits from bing.com, and it isn’t even up yet. One of the previewers must be using it to search for VBA code?
• you know you are in trouble when the vba code contains variables such as “vbasucks” for goal indicators! It wasn’t me!
• Mum’s very stuck into getting this excel form macro perfect for me, I’m a little concerned.

Fake Your Way

• Can’t say I’ve ever gotten anything good in a work email-received excel spreadsheet.
• My boss still hadn’t figured out that I totally fake my way through Excel…
• haha.. love it!! I have tetris on an excel spreadsheet… so it makes it look like I am working… 🙂

Models and Photoshoots

• Also, the photoshoot was for the guys who were in the top 5 for Microsoft Word and Excel. So that includes me.
• OH: “I could model it in excel for you… but I’m too drunk!”
• MS Excel tongue twister: “Shift Cells Up”.

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