Do you know what an Excel pivot table is, and can you can make the complex charts that your boss needs? If not, bring donuts, for some job security.
- The answer to 99% of the questions is: Pivot Table.
- Gotta love Excel. It’s decided that one of the rows in my spreadsheet should be 2 pages long and I cant resize it or delete it or anything.
- Pretty sure someone just "jokingly" threatened my job that doesn’t even know what a pivot table. #notfunny #insecure #incompetent
- I love the feeling when gathering back a lot of test metrics, put them in Excel and just gasp at the clarity of the data once graphed.
- not sure there’s enough tea in the world to wake me up this morning. Perhaps an excel spreadsheet will perk me up…
- it’s only sad if you setup a pivot table to see who is bringing donuts on Friday based on their proximity to donut shops.
- Just received the company phone list in an Excel spreadsheet. Apparently our Mean Phone Extension is 22.69230769.
- Morning all. Fun day today introducing a new customer to excel. Always love the "ooh – look – it added the numbers up" reactions 🙂
- I’d also need a naff motto, like "if I was software I’d be a spreadsheet, because I Excel at everything" #apprentice #arrogance
- Finally emailed my boss re: excel graph: "I tried. I really did. But it is more complicated than I thought." Haha
- After working on a spreadsheet and getting nowhere had a House MD revelation moment on my way home. I saved that macro’s life just in time
- i dont always try an create graphs in excel, but when i do i want it to manipulate my data beyond all sense and be generally unusable.
- Hopefully the random excel graphs I’m stapling to my homework will divert my TA’s attention from the wrong answers. #judgethisbookbyitscover
- I’m at the point where I can’t look at an excel spreadsheet unless the header rows are frozen and bolded. Filtered is a big plus.
- I’ve just had a diet coke and a cadburys caramel bar. I’ve also deleted a few cells in an excel spreadsheet. Thug life.
- Nothing makes me want a beer more than analyzing data in a massive excel spreadsheet.
- I get that someone who works for the BBC has learnt to use MS Excel, but sacrificing showing Joe Hart’s face to show some graphs? Nahhh.
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When you finish your Excel charts for homework, please start working on the bus timetable report. It should be colour coded, but please, don’t make it orange.
If your Excel error cost the company millions, it might be time to start shopping – for a new job!
What’s the craziest thing your co-workers have done in Excel? Or do they spend their days doing tedious work on charts and complaining about your data?
Was the original VisiCalc program smaller than a phone icon? How does it compare to Excel? Those third graders could make a chart, to show the difference.
Happy Halloween! Instead of the Monster Mash, we bring you the Excel Mash, and a few spreadsheet nightmares.
It’s impressive if your Excel file rivals the great pyramids of Egypt – just don’t include any pyramid charts!
Comic Sans font is only acceptable in an Excel worksheet if you’re also cleaning out the mud room, or doing witchcraft.
Maybe the Vulcans don’t worry about a minor loss of fidelity in Excel. The rest of us will have a cup of tea, while we try to chill out.
Maybe this list of Excel tweets should be explained by a hot guy with an accent. Or maybe it’s time for a Scotch, and some makeup.
Be careful if using Excel while drinking frozen margaritas – it could result in formatting worksheets with Comic Sans font.
Don’t be a slacker! Learn how to add formulas in an Excel pivot table, but don’t make pie charts – they’ll make you hungry.
Please don’t murder any Excel workbooks today – leave the spreadsheet violence to the vampires. Instead, put on your wizard’s hat, and do good work.
Maybe the lights wouldn’t flicker, if we stop making worthless cosmetic changes to our Excel workbooks. But don’t ask the IT guy – he’ll just sigh.
Turn on the Metallica, get out your pencils, and finish your Excel charts. Or, create something pivot-table-tastic!
Next time your dad does your Excel homework, make sure he finishes it! And be grateful that he didn’t name you Excel.
If you spend the day in Twitter and YouTube, instead of Excel, you might avoid a nervous breakdown. On the other hand, you might lose your job!
Happy Spreadsheet Day! As part of the celebrations, maybe someone will give you chocolate for working in Excel today, or play Rocky Top when you change tabs.
Which is tougher to learn – Greek or Excel cash flow charts? I could make a drop down for you to select your answer.
It takes lots of creativity to work with Excel. Without it, you’ll end up bent over your des, with clouded thinking.
Staring at an Excel spreadsheet for many hours can lead to flashbacks, or cravings for breath mints. It’s worth the effort though, if it can lead to world peace.
If your eyes are sore, and Excel charts make you sad, don’t have a meltdown. Some cake and wine, or a clubhouse in the breezeway, and you’ll feel better in no time.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Doctor Who. Doctor Who who? Doctor, who blacked out while using Excel?
If you’re going to write a spreadsheet poem, it should rhyme – no IFs, ANDs or BUTTs about it.
Have you tried R programming? Is it really better than Excel, or is it just easier to spell?
If you’ve been through the nine circles of Excel, you might start to see animal shapes too. And who hasn’t seen a bit of lion in a spreadsheet?
If your roommate has crazy Excel housekeeping sheets, you’d better move before she starts working on her Christmas spreadsheet. That one could really affect your blood pressure!
You can’t unlock the secrets of Excel unless you work for the Feds, or you paid attention in class. And if you’re over 35, just give up hope – you’ll never understand worksheets. 
Some days, you can get Jell-O eyes from Excel, even if you don’t have a hangover. 
Don’t wear bright shoes, and avoid bosses who colour the Excel sheets yellow. These things do not make your spreadsheets seem more epic.
Some days, it’s tough to deal with Excel and your boss at the same time. Maybe a 460 word explanation would help. Or a quick dance with a robot.
Please use Excel for good, not evil. Create an Excel bakery, instead of a hitlist. 
Yes, we get older, but not smarter, and we deal with our Excel problems any way that we can. But, to be fair, maybe that computer had the Etch-a-Sketch version of Excel.