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Author: Debra Dalgleish

Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160617

ByDebra Dalgleish June 17, 2016October 17, 2019

If you mess up your Excel chart, does that mean you’ve lost the plot? If that joke gave you a migraine, I’m sorry – it was not Our Greatest Work.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160610

ByDebra Dalgleish June 10, 2016March 14, 2017

After setting up my new laptop, I’ll have to agree with the tweet about stupid default settings. And if the answer is always a pivot table, does that mean they’re funny looking? Enjoy the tweets – I’m going back to my desk to test a formula.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160603

ByDebra Dalgleish June 3, 2016March 14, 2017

Is your youth fading, and if so, is Excel to blame? Anyway, don’t yell at the paper clip, and leave the pivot table out of it. I’m sure that bloke from 2003 would agree!

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160527

ByDebra Dalgleish May 27, 2016May 25, 2016

Which is worse – “generously formatted” Excel workbooks, or files with “merged and centered” cells? Maybe you can work on that problem if you get bored this summer. Or, just turn everything into a pivot table!

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160518

ByDebra Dalgleish May 20, 2016May 18, 2016

And….we’re back! Finally, all the widgets, gadgets, scripts, feeds, worksheets, connections, and other necessary bits and pieces are working correctly again. For now!

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160304

ByDebra Dalgleish March 4, 2016March 14, 2017

If your boss is annoying you with Excel questions, maybe a Pivot Table will make you feel better. Or, run a mile before work, then spend the rest of the day hiding in your new Excel Batcave. 2016-Mar-24: Twitter has changed its feed (again), so I can’t efficiently collect new tweets for the weekly post….

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160226

ByDebra Dalgleish February 26, 2016May 20, 2016

If you’re drowning in Excel data, do you think that a game of Battleship would help? If not, Excel might force you to take a break, and watch some Winnie the Pooh.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160219

ByDebra Dalgleish February 19, 2016February 18, 2016

If (when) Excel punishes you by crashing, try to remember that things could be worse. At least you don’t have to fight saber-toothed tigers every day.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160212

ByDebra Dalgleish February 12, 2016February 11, 2016

A boss who is a boulder might not appreciate your new pivot table and VLOOKUP skills. Maybe you should give up using Excel for a while, or explode a few pie charts.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160205

ByDebra Dalgleish February 5, 2016February 5, 2016

Have you ever hit anyone with a pivot table? No? Not even after taking too much cold medication? Okay, go back to your pie charts.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160129

ByDebra Dalgleish January 29, 2016January 28, 2016

If Excel’s stupid colours make you (or your friend) cry, a glass of wine might help. Or, as a last resort, try some pivot table pizza!

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160122

ByDebra Dalgleish January 22, 2016May 20, 2016

After you make an Excel chart, do you have a strange craving for pie? How many times do you have to say “pivot table” in a meeting, before people think you’re a nerd.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160115

ByDebra Dalgleish January 15, 2016January 14, 2016

Thanks for answering my formatting survey last week, and it was too close to call, so, I’ll keep doing both formats. You can skim through the plain text tweets at the top, and the embedded tweets are below.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20160108

ByDebra Dalgleish January 8, 2016March 14, 2017

Welcome back for a new year of Excel Tweets! Please take a minute to answer the quick survey below, to let me know which tweet format you prefer. Thanks!

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20151218

ByDebra Dalgleish December 18, 2015December 17, 2015

While you use Excel to plan your Christmas shopping, please sing along with the festive pivot table song. Remember to select the correct cells before you start, and don’t use a Mac! Happy Holidays, and I’ll see you back here in January!

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20151211

ByDebra Dalgleish December 11, 2015June 17, 2016

Don’t let a pivot table make you cry – just add +1 somewhere, and things might work out. And if you have to make a pie chart, a kitchen renovation sounds like the perfect place for it!

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20151204

ByDebra Dalgleish December 4, 2015May 20, 2016

Don’t let Excel force you to throw your laptop out the window! Perhaps some not-so-beautiful code could fix things for you. Or the dolphins could help.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20151120

ByDebra Dalgleish November 20, 2015May 20, 2016

Don’t waste time arguing with your boss about trend analysis. Just make a chart, and put some notes beside it. And speaking of Black Friday workbooks, I’m taking next Friday off, so I’ll see you back here on December 4th.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20151113

ByDebra Dalgleish November 13, 2015March 14, 2017

Should you send a spreadsheet, instead of a love letter? Of course, and remember to save it, so it doesn’t disappear at the end of the day. You don’t have to include a pivot table, but it might help.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20151106

ByDebra Dalgleish November 6, 2015March 14, 2017

To prevent a tragedy, remember to save your Excel work before you leave the office. You don’t want to end up having nightmares that pivot tables don’t exist!

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20151030

ByDebra Dalgleish October 30, 2015May 17, 2021

Are all your Excel formulas logical, or would you fail the standardized testing? And if you know more than the instructor, just sit in the back of the class, and read your beer spreadsheet.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20151023

ByDebra Dalgleish October 23, 2015October 22, 2015

Is life easier when you know how to use Excel? Or does that just lead to nightmares and tingling geeky senses?

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20151016

ByDebra Dalgleish October 16, 2015October 15, 2015

While your mom is at the Cubs game, you can make friends on the soccer field, or go to a bar, and build a pie chart.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20151009

ByDebra Dalgleish October 9, 2015October 8, 2015

Don’t lie about your Excel skills, or you’ll have to spend your lunch hour solving problems. You could even end up listening to sad country songs, and being paid in beef jerky.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20151002

ByDebra Dalgleish October 2, 2015September 30, 2015

If your Excel formulas won’t work, you might lose your mind, and start daydreaming that people think your Excel jokes are funny. When that happens, try a pivot table.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20150925

ByDebra Dalgleish September 25, 2015September 2, 2016

If your workbook crashes, and Bill Gates won’t send you money to compensate your loss, how will you reignite your love for Excel? Remember, the struggle is real.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20150918

ByDebra Dalgleish September 18, 2015July 27, 2016

Do you need a wizard hat to make a pivot table? And should you use Excel if you’re not going to make a pie chart? My co-worker wants to know, but I don’t want to share my secrets!

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20150911

ByDebra Dalgleish September 11, 2015December 5, 2015

Which task is more complicated – building an Excel chart, or making coffee for your boss? If that question is too complicated, or sounds like “excel-anese”, please ask your assistant to answer it.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20150828

ByDebra Dalgleish August 28, 2015December 5, 2015

If your dad calls you with Excel questions, be sure to tell him about pivot tables. Eventually he will become an Excel ninja, and could save co-workers from working on the weekend.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20150814

ByDebra Dalgleish August 14, 2015May 20, 2016

A big thanks to Bill Jelen (Mr. Excel) who featured my Excel Theatre tweets collection in his latest book, “Mr. Excel XL – The 40 Greatest Excel Tips of All Time“. Bill sent me an advance copy, and it’s a beautiful book, packed with great tips, and a nice touch of humour. The book will…

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20150731

ByDebra Dalgleish July 31, 2015July 30, 2015

Do you know what “yak shaving” means? I had to Google to find out (and was a bit worried about what I’d find!) but yeah, I’ve headed to the zoo a few times. How about you?

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20150717

ByDebra Dalgleish July 17, 2015March 14, 2017

Don’t have a heart attack if you call Microsoft and they don’t agree to make Excel work exactly the way you want it to. Stare at your worksheet for a while, and you’ll feel better.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20150703

ByDebra Dalgleish July 3, 2015December 5, 2015

Should you tell people that you’re good with Excel, or is your mother the only person who needs to know? NOTE: We’re on our summer schedule now, so the next collection of Excel tweets will be published on Friday, July 17th.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20150626

ByDebra Dalgleish June 26, 2015June 25, 2015

Always save your work if you hear thunder, so you won’t have another “Deja screwed” moment. And if you’re still in college, spend some time learning how to use Excel. Or how to use Google.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20150619

ByDebra Dalgleish June 19, 2015December 5, 2015

Excel probably can’t deliver a child, even if you are singing Tequila. But a pivot table could get you a job, with or without hallucinations.

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Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20150612

ByDebra Dalgleish June 12, 2015March 14, 2017

Does Clippy know as much as the Internet does? Or is he still trying to talk to the AS/400?

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