Category: Excel Humor

Kryptonite and mortal enemies and genetic drift. No, it’s not a cyberpunk thriller, it’s just another day of Excel tweets. And it’s good to know that students can keep up with their Excel assignments, even if they’re snowed in. That’s exactly what I would have done, back in my university days. 😉

• I suppose it *is* important to have a plan. I just don’t get why said plan has to be in excel spreadsheet.
• Escaping Excel Hell- I don’t know if it’s a tech book or a cyberpunk thriller.
• Excel is like kryptonite to my creativity!
• I ran across an unusual site about Microsoft Excel that only posts Bacon recipe’s on Saturday. http://ow.ly/14UV2
• Does anyone know how to make boxplots (box and whisker charts) in Excel?
• Due to inclement weather the campus will be closed tomorrow but you can still EXCEL from your dorm room.
• i can’t even save my document! seriously, excel went from best friend to mortal enemy very quickly.
• through one error in excel, i have become unable to do ANYTHING without excel telling me i can’t change part of an array.
• I officially hate that bl**dy ribbon thing in excel. just spent ages looking to format axes, all on some new fangled tab #bahumbug
• You would think that a university with IT courses would produce a printable timetable. NO i am on excel creating my own! Grumble Grumble…
• trying to figure out how to model genetic drift on excel…argh! why did I choose this job?!?
• I’m making an Excel sheet for On Kissing Tom Legend. #amwriting #productivity #procrastination #denial #toomanyhashtags
• How can Excel have calculated things differently in November than today… I can’t work it out. Hugely frustrating so late in the day
• Her inability to read even the simplest excel spreadsheet makes me seriously wonder how she even gets to work every morning. -_- #wow
• Back to my excel spreadsheets! So happy I am back to my old duties at work. Numbers not people!
• I’m so not in the work zone, I just started typing my business figures in my twitter update instead of excel.
• Learned how to make an exploding pie chart in my excel training class… wish that was as exciting as it sounds
• I hope managers and executives watch "Undercover Boss" and take note: Get your asses in the trenches and quit looking at Excel spreadsheets!
• my wife is mad because I laughed at her. She put her new Windows login password in Excel. Now she can’t login and did not write down.
• Someone suggested I call myself an Excel Ninja (vs Excel Mercenary). Interesting thought.

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Related Links:

• Box and Whisker Utility (affiliate link)
• Box and Whisker Plots
• Contextures Excel Tips and Tutorials

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The Super Bowl hadn’t started when I collected the Excel related tweets on Sunday, so maybe that’s why there wasn’t much talk about football. You’d think that Excel would be the perfect tool to compile all those game statistics. 

• My numbers for the Super Bowl Square Pool are "square root of X" & "=sum(b2:k2)". I hope the Colts go for a pivot table conversion!
• remembered too late that alcohol and Excel don’t mix
• Listening to the filthy classic ‘Ain’t No Fun’ from Snoop while working on an Excel spreadsheet. What an awesome combo.
• Not to see like a dork but I just learned how to make a "Tornado Chart" on Excel and I am more or less ecstatic
• nevermind, screw excel. I’d rather have pretty nails than something cool to show my boss.
• Anyone else feel murderous when Excel suddenly says "Hey! It looks like you’re managing a list!"?Almost as bad as the talking paper clip.
• I need an excel spreadsheet to keep track of my nephew’s revolving girlfriends.
• Anyway, turns out Excel is pretty great for dealing with bread formulae, especially once you bust out the =CONVERT() function.
• Using Excel so constantly at work is starting to turn it into a first-tier tool at home. BEIN’ ASSIMILATED SEND HELP.
• How is it possible that my dad is better than me at Microsoft Excel -____-
• Just learned how to add an average line in my excel chart. Thank You Google University! Hunter College I think you owe me my money back!
• my caffeine and excel addiction is pretty intense.
• 1 excel spreadsheet, 2 cookies, 3 charts, 4 books, 5 hours and a glass a wine later I have shaping and sizing with st pattern integrity!
• slow sunday, grey and cold, quiet streets. getting ready to do some work, always more relaxed to do excel pivot tables at home vs office
• Sometimes I hate using other people’s Excel spreadsheets. Its like…. What were they thinking?!?
• I hate how Excel feels the need to correct every number that I type. It won’t even let me type 10/10/10
• I think spread sheets would be an awesome project. My boss (60-something engineer) can’t even use excel.
• you know you’re getting too obsessive when you maintain an excel spreadsheet for all your cards

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts

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Yesterday I had two votes for the uncategorized list of Excel related tweets, and zero votes against, so I’ll stick with this format. Thanks to Joe, for suggesting a bit of space between the list items. And I like Jon’s description of this format – stream of consciousness.

There are a couple interesting links, including one for Morse Code in Excel. Maybe you could rig it to play, “My Excel skillz bring all the boyz to the yard.”

• Excel has revolutionized the way I do my accounting homework.
• Someone should write "Excel for Totally Unmotivated Math-hating Lamebrains." A one-page book with one word: OUTSOURCE!
• Why is it that because you write software for a living people think you’re an expert with microsoft excel?
• my life in microcosm: learning how to do excel functions from a weight training manual #531
• I’m looking for a free/cheap way to create really cool 3D charts (pie and bar charts). Better than Excel, cheaper than InDesign. Anyone?
• Just got a ‘general mail failure’ in Excel. Glad their spelling is validated, but I still feel like less of a man.
• that’s cause most companies dedicate half their resources to shifting numbers in excel rather than actually producing anything
• Office of the speaker fails at excel charts. Jobs Lost as a negative number means jobs gained. http://j.mp/econrecov
• My Excel skillz bring all the boyz to the yard. My spreadsheet… is better than yours, damn right… it’s better than yours.
• I’m convinced that if Excel 2007 could cure aids AND cancer people still wouldn’t use it because of the ribbon…
• used to hate my budget… now i track it to the penny. my excel doc matches my back account… nerdy? yes. smart? i think so.
• it’s Friday afternoon and my work brain just shut off – right in the middle of creating this invoicing excel spreadsheet – oh well
• It’s amazing what you can do with Excel, amazing but really ugly
• Just realized that Excel 2007 moves the find box out of the way when scrolling… nice enhancement that took me 3 years to realize existed
• I can’t help it: I’m very proud of my "Clearing Command Center", an Excel-sheet I have reared from a cub to its present state of monstrosity
• designed an Excel Tool for translating "two switch Morse code" into Text – here’s how http://tinyurl.com/ybwzrhv – yay #disability #morse

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts

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Here are some of my favourite Excel tweets from yesterday. Instead of breaking the tweets into categories, I’ll just post them in one long list. That should make it more serendipitous, and more “Twitter-like”.

Anyway, I just hope that nuclear reactors have better security than Excel does!

• Story idea: Admin’s typo yields Excel formula proving God exists. Boss deletes, as it doesn’t accurately track accounts. Universe vanishes.
• Wanna merge cells? – Excel pick up lines.
• Just discovering that VLookups in Excel aren’t fast. #WouldHaveBeenQuickerInPerl
• Dont talk to me about excel.
• i guess everyone is using excel to create charts – but that’s simply not cool
• Our graphic designer just hugged me because I showed her how to use the ‘concatenate’ function in excel. Am terribly amused.
• has finally finished entering all my 2009 receipts into an Excel spreadsheet. It only took 6 hours. Maybe this year I’ll enter them as I go.
• excel crashed just when i was about to finish my last sheet of work for the day. didn’t get angry though. just laughed and started over. (:
• Mom is home. I miss my silence already. The sound of she and the dogs eating pistachios as I duel with Excel may be the death of me.
• On standby for acute surgery, making love to a sprawling Excel file and wishing I was Speedo-clad beneath a waterfall of iced coffee.
• …and that’s how i spent 4 hours working in excel. on one sad little chart.
• Why can I order data better in iTunes than Excel, that’s stupid!!!
• Discussed favourite #Excel shortcuts with my boss. ALT+D+G+G (mine) beat CTRL+E+S+V (him). Clearly we’re scarred by previous jobs. #geek
• Made a silly mistake in Excel. If the same mistake occurred at a nuclear reactor, we’d all be quite dead.

So, what do you think? Is the uncategorized list better? Worse? No difference?

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Related Links:

• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel Keyboard Shortcuts 
• Excel Charts

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It’s 2010, and we’re still struggling with Excel 2007. I hope the people at Microsoft are listening! And there’s some debate as to whether Excel charts are cool or old school. Part of the answer might be user dependent. 😉

And if you’re not Canadian, you might not be familiar with Excel gum. Even John Walkenbach (Mr. Spreadsheet) was impressed: “Excel gum. Fresh breath and faster recalcs.”

Stupid Binocular Icon

• So that’s where is it. Stupid binocular icon. I like old Excel better.
• Found out that Excel 07 is not that awesome afterall, I’m disappointed. I couldn’t even add 2 rows in my spreadsheet
• I’m having a hard kicking 15 years of Excel habits. 2007 is the only version I didn’t immediately acclimate to.
• Excel 2007 is awesome, there are Access features built in! …and I love me some Access.

All Fired Up

• Have just set fire to dodgy version of excel spreadsheet. Feel better now.
• When I die and inevitably go to hell, there will be no fire or brimstone, just a workstation running Excel.
• I’m on tap to do a newsroom training session today on Excel and database reporting. Should I bring firecrackers to keep people awake?
• believes there must be a solar flare somewhere, technology is not friendly today. Phooey to portals, applications & excel spreadsheets.

Cool or Old School?

• Dude just do your Gannt Charts old school like in excel or MSFT Project.
• what tools do you use to make charts? anything better then excel?
• http://twitpic.com/zwng1 – With over 20 years of development, Excel’s chart tool still sucks.
• Cool Excel dashboard: charts update as mouse moves over regions on map (in Chinese by Wangxiang Liu) http://bit.ly/ac1LPe

Chew On That!

• I’ve been chewing this Excel gum for hours and I haven’t produced a single spreadsheet.

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P.S. For help with Excel, see Contextures Excel Tips and Tutorials

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Corruption, global warming, Smallpox – Excel related twitters cover all the hot topics! And if the Holy Bible in Excel doesn’t help with your corruption issues, check this article by Jan Karel Pieterse: Opening Corrupt Excel Files.

Hardly Working

• Continuously reformatting a workflow excel file can be a credible substitute for actual work.
• Today’s office tip: Having two excel sheets open at the same time makes you look twice as productive.
• I love playing with Excel.. People think I am working!
• the IT man got my email to work..but the excel running just as slow as before. #howdare he walk out the office like he solved global warming

The Good Book

• Huh. Apparently I’ve been holding on to a book called "Excel 97 Secrets". Think it’s worth anything? 🙂
• After several lengthy pages of Excel calculations for Info 631, my book states in a later chapter that there is a tool to automate my work.
• Time 2 turn on the music, open up the school books and see what torture microsoft excel has 4 me 2day!! Have I mentioned I HATE this class?
• Just the other day I said to myself, "If I only had the Holy Bible as an Excel worksheet…" http://bit.ly/4v6w3x

Computer Usage

• people who set borders on every cell on the spreadsheet in excel when only 10 rows and 6 columns have data should be banned from computers..
• Apparently I have corrupted an Excel workbook. corrupting innocent computer programs. does that make me immoral?
• Browse web, read articles, books, write emails — that is what 99% of people use a computer for. Very few do graphics design or Excel
• Folks still using their ‘puter mostly for email, Excel/PowerPoint for work. FB is their starter drug to more. 🙂

Vote Now!

• Can’t work out which is worse: Excel, Smallpox or Fascism. Vote now!

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P.S. For help with Excel, see Contextures Excel Tips and Tutorials

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Do you agree that sweats, slippers and Excel make you irresistible? And that would make excellent attire for the big football game that’s coming up.

And while I was getting this list of twitters ready, I accidentally discovered that you can’t spell ‘embarrassing’ without MBA. Well, that made me laugh, but maybe it’s because I don’t have an MBA. 😉

Food and Drink

• Logging receipts in excel and eatin mac’n cheese. Do you find me irresistible right now? What if I told you I was wearing sweats & slippers?
• After the 15th burger I began to hallucinate, but the McFlurry took the edge off it. Now I have to work on some Excel spreadsheet.
• Celebrating cracking the indesign/numbers/excel problem with a glass of islay whisky and some isle of mull cheese.
• Clearly I cannot sing, count and enter information into an excel workbook at the same time T.T ~too much caffeine~

Lacking the Demons

• Filling out a big excel spreadsheet for work. Lots of clicking. Feels like I’m playing Diablo II. Just lacking the demons, evil, and fun.
• My son uses Word and Excel, mostly for school work. He also uses Excel for some virtual games he plays, based on Survivor.
• Leaving Excel Spreadsheet Hell and going home. Puerto Rico in 3 days. Then a very big football game..
• I’ve seen quizzes made with YouTube, I’ve seen Excel Jeopardy..the resources are there, we just need to use them. #gtchat

An MBA? How Embarrassing

• Reading Beinhocker’s "The Origin of Wealth"/ It’s time to redefine the financial model and stop listening to dumb MBAs with excel sheets.
• I’d show you my spreadsheet, but A) it’s in Excel 2010, and B) it’s so nerdy it’s embarassing.
• This excel spreadsheet TOTALLY kicks ass and the powerpoint will be even more kick ass!!!!! (Yes, I am a MBA student.)

Thanks Dad

• Drove thru a storm in irvine, sat down with dad and went thru his junior high yearbook, then taught mom how to use excel. Random night lol
• by ‘his’ I mean ‘dad’ … 93 in 3 weeks and he’s compiling an excel document on #burnley’s season; but he loves his ceefax, not t’internet
• My father just made an excel spreadsheet of my life to tell me how to scientifically plan my future options. fml.

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It’s February now, and time to start planning your garden, or shopping for food – whichever you do better.

And my hero is that guy who knew most of Excel already. That’s quite an accomplishment!

I Forgot

• happy! i got my spreadsheet done. had to re-learn excel, but it looks very spiffy!
• no problem, I love the keyboard shortcuts and USED to be an Excel guru of sorts but am out of practice these dys
• I forgot that I knew most of Excel already. Spreadsheets are easy. I needed that refresher so now it’s time to go even harder on the grind.

Garden Time

• Sorting out my seed box tonight and trying to make a sowing chart in excel. Technological help for horticultural organisation! yay! 🙂
• Love the idea of putting nonsense on a CV. "Proficient in word & excel, stopped licking strangers faces in 2002, keen gardener…"
• For you Excel addicts, Rosalind Creasy offers a free garden spreadsheet to keep track of your harvests: http://urlbit.us/i05

Google or Excel?

• Giving up on Google Docs today. Excel loves me better.
• Google Doc’s to the rescue where MS excel’s compatibility update wont help me.
• My spreadsheet skills are wretched. Excel and Google spreadsheets are my Achilles heel.

Shopping Lists

• Lovely representation of matrix multiplication in an Excel spreadsheet: http://bit.ly/5UhITg [shopping list]
• I’ve spent most of my day shopping online for bow ties and braces and working on an excel-centric lab report. Oh, I’m great fun.
• Looking for a cool food shopping excel spreadsheet template (Geared towards clean eating)

Still In Love

• Me: "I’m going to research types of dog." Hubby: "You don’t have to Excel spreadsheet the process."
• Just helped my wife over the phone with an Excel problem…we’re still in love. #miracle

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More Excel keyboard shortcuts on the Contextures website.

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Apparently Bill Gates hasn’t solved the world’s problems yet, and his pie charts and memos aren’t helping. And while we’re dropping names, Tufte was mentioned in the Excel-related tweets too.

And I don’t believe that you’ll fail to lose weight if you use Excel – that’s why I created the Excel Weight Loss Tracker !

A Numbers Game

• The Excel spreadsheet I opened in Apple’s Numbers is kicking its ass. Slow updates, beach ball, Force Quit. Microsoft wins this battle.
• Have you tried the apple version of Excel, Numbers! It makes pie charts delicious. And they have recipe templates!
• I just tried to open an Excel spreadsheet with over 400,000 rows in it. I think the core is going to melt right out of my Macbook.
• Well there is Excel for Mac as well, but Numbers is for when you care about beauty in your spreadsheet. 😛

Word of the Day

• I’ve been looking for Excel "Data validation" button in Word for around 1 minutes. Am I stupid or what??
• I hate excel with a burning passion. why can’t I just use word? I’m SO not tech savvy…
• PowerPoint and Excel were on Tufte’s hit list today. But surprisingly Word was suggested for creating a presentation.

Weighty Subject

• If you’re using an excel spreadsheet to lose weight, I’m pretty certain you’ll fail
• I just made an Excel spreadsheet documenting my weight loss. With a chart. #geek
• Def just made an Excel spreadsheet to track my goal to lose 25 lbs…that’s how you know you’re a nerd.

Dear Bill

• yeah! maybe we should notify @BillGates about our excel hate.
• 15 years after Bill Gates’ Internet Tidal Wave Memo, I can’t export a usable html table from Excel. Yeesh
• I know that vaccines are working because I have a pie chart…, @BillGates on @ToTN. So Powerpoint & Excel are saving lives?

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It’s Friday, so please remember to take a bit of time away from Excel over the weekend. You’ll feel better by Monday!

Soothing Tunes

• making death metal covers of simon & garfunkel songs in my head… as i work away in excel (my favorite!)
• Beatles entering charts again. More Excel than iTunes… http://bit.ly/82FTpc
• Dudes plz, a midi keyboard and Fruityloops does not mean you have a studio.. & a PC w/ Word & Excel isnt an office. Or did I miss a memo ?
• Listening to Diana Krall. Swearing at Excel.

It’s Friday

• Nerd romance: when your Friday night consists of making a joint budget and laughing at the extremely dorky Excel spreadsheet options. Love!
• Great way to spend Friday night six hours of work lost in the office due to excel incompatability issue. I cried. Home now & will redo tomoz
• I forgot how good I am at excel. And my job. I kick ass. America rules. I love radio. FRIDAY NIGHT. Boxing makes my body hurt. PIZZA?!

Extra Geeky

• I enter geek mode in T minus two minutes. Jeopardy plus book lists & excel sheets. =)
• unsubstantiated assertion : excel-fu is inversely proportional to how technical you are.
• How geeky is it that I’m working on my own R.P.G. system using an Excel spreadsheet? I’m gonna say "virginally".
• Prolly the nerdiest thing ive ever done, but Ive gotten status updates to work from Excel. Looks like I’m working hard but 😉 #fb

Are You Sure?

• computer asks me: ‘you are about to open Excel for the first time. are you sure you want to open this application?’ and i think:

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P.S. For help with Excel, see Contextures Excel Tips and Tutorials

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The Apple tablet, iPad, was announced yesterday, but what’s the point of buying it if you can’t use Excel? Several tweeters seemed very disappointed after hearing the news.

And wow, I wonder which state only has one Excel guru. It must be one of the small ones, like Rhode Island. 😉

Apple Tablet

• great so ipad is a big iphone with excel that costs $30/month. Where’s the killer feature? Tethering? TV? please say it’s TV
• Apple tablet will run iPhone OS 4.0. So wont be able to do Power Point, Word or Excel. Mistake?
• what’s a reasonable estimate for amount of people who want to use a non-excel spreadsheet on a tablet?
• Hate to show my age and lack of hipness, but if the Apple tablet doesn’t run Excel, there is no way it’s replacing my laptop.

Solve Your Problems

• I’m sure there’s an excel formula that will solve your problem! (or maybe, the weekend will help)
• I can’t believe I just found about this now: Excel has data analysis! (including ANOVA, t-test, z-test, etc)
• Norwegian localized version of Excel functions…aaargh! Someone should hang for that one
• Programming an Excel spreadsheet for work. Will probably be running VLOOKUP procedures in my dreams tonight.

Excel Charmers

• They call me the excel spreadsheet charmer.
• After George said "try to break it," Nesbit built an Excel spreadsheet 700 lines long "Even in a headwind, this thing performs," Nesbit
• I’m beginning to feel quite proud of my Excel skills, so obviously I’m about to mess something up pretty soon..
• What can I say? It seems that I am the only MS Excel Guru in the state…

Rules of Math

• Have I mentioned how much I hate math, even when Excel is doing all the calculating? Argh.
• Why isn’t Excel following the rules of mathematics. How do I get it to add two cells together then multiply the result with another cell?
• :can’t remember the last time I helped my youngest with her 8th grade math without needing to fire-up MS Excel. #parenting
• Any jobs out there that do NOT require math, Excel, college or selling skills? I need to know about them.

On the Buses

• Man on the bus is on his laptop, doing excel pivot tables! Has he never taken a bus before? He must think it’s posh, like the train.

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P.S. For more information on Excel VLOOKUP formula, please see the Excel VLOOKUP formula Tutorial on the Contextures Website.

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I love pivot tables too, but would draw the line at cuddling with one. Each to his (or her) own taste!

Learning Excel Thingies

• When you’re in a class that’s teaching you how to use a computer it would help if the teacher knew how to work Excel… Or a mouse.
• Whoever is teaching this morning’s Excel class must be really good – I keep hearing laughter from the cyber-center.
• at school making stupid excel thingies..
• learning to work in excel. My god i hope i’m never gonna use this program ever in my life! why all the details!?? 😉

Excel Trance

• i can’t use rap when i go into my excel trance – i’m usually playing Rush, Grateful Dead, or Pink Floyd. But i love rap
• Interesting post on using excel to evaluate your itunes playlist #edchat http://bit.ly/5LLKhg
• I can definately vouch for the use of Techno as an Excel Productivity Stimulant..
• Sometimes I amaze myself with the strange ways I use Notepad and Excel to accomplish tasks for Glee Club records.

Complicated Things

• Pivot tables are coming to Lotus Symphony 3 in a Beta next month – spreadsheet wizards around the globe are salivating! #ls10 #excel
• Dear Pivot Table, Stop being such a frackin’ brat and start refreshing on the computer. I need to gather your data. You have until 2pm.
• Must. Not. Turn this into a pivot table. I get told off for doing ‘complicated things.’
• This would the perfect love cuddle day. All I’ll b cuddling w/ 2day is a pivot table then an elliptical. HA! Responsibility has its price.

Computer Pranks

• Re: Computer Pranks. In Excel, change the currency symbol to the number 1, and set that as the default format.

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For more information on Pivot Tables, please see the Pivot Table Tutorials on the Contextures Website.

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Should you trust a boss who has a spreadsheet that will help you get a girlfriend? I don’t think so, but you’ll have to decide for yourself.

And I like Excel keyboard shortcuts too, but have never made a game out of it.

Dirty Tricks

• Just handed a report to my boss, he tells me "It looks good, just sexy it up a little"… I didn’t know Excel Spreadsheets could be sexy…
• trying to impress my boss with Excel tricks. He knows the hard core stuff, but I know the dirty tricks 🙂
• Just taught boss how to work Excel. Either I’m a genius or I’ve made my life a bajillion times harder. Only time will tell…
• Loves that his boss has a dedicated plan to further grow the company and get me a girlfriend; both involve flowcharts and excel documents…

Worst. Console. Ever.

• Actually. Excel is soothing to me. It’s like playing a mind teaser game. Challenging but fun.
• teacher of excel class says he plays the "how long can i work without grabbing the mouse" game….uhhh i guess my life isn’t THAT boring
• sent my wife my 1st-half 2010 video game schedule, in an Excel spreadsheet, sorted by release date. Communication at its finest!
• WTF MS? Why can’t I read my MS Excel 2007 documents on my Xbox 360? WORST. CONSOLE. EVER.

Google Excel

• I’ve googled my heart out and tried every formula listed, but I can’t get excel to count how many dates in my sheet fit a given range.
• I will have to google how to use Excel again, but everything else is gonna be super easy, just a lot of stuff to do. 335 marks. Woohooooo.
• People at work are asking me to do things they are perfectly capable of doing themselves. SPREADSHEETS. How hard can they be? GOOGLE EXCEL!

Trust Issues

• i don’t really trust anyone who knows how to use an excel spreadsheet

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If you’d like to play games in Excel you can try these Excel bingo cards or an Excel Concentration game.

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Bill Gates recently created a Twitter account, and attracted thousands of followers in a very short time. Some of those followers hope that he’ll help with their Excel problems. Maybe he can help with those features that don’t work exactly the way that we’d like.

Hello Bill Gates

• @billgates Taking a class on Excel 2007 today. Please don’t update this for another year or so. I want to feel smart for a while 🙂
• Hello @billgates welcome to Twitter, I love to read, I am a good person, will you buy me a KindleDX? I am also an Excel ninja & an MCSE+I
• Hello @BillGates, word up? Hope you excel, this tweet has no power point to it.

Odd Features

• Dear Microsoft, If a user wants to select cells from a row in one Excel doc and paste them to columns in another, THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO.
• love Excel but sometimes it is plain odd. Copy/Paste Special-Transpose is awesome (discovered today) but no Cut/Paste Special. Why?
• looking forward to the day when excel will let me paste in UK phone numbers with a +44 without giving me an error message

Nonsensical Things

• I have definitely found that Excel is worthless as a graphing program. Why do so many people still use it as one?
• ya bro. im using excel. but the line chart come out funny.
• To clarify: Few was talking about lots of nonsensical things you can do in Excel etc, he’s not forcing everybody to do the same exact chart.
• Just downloaded some fancy new Excel thing so I can get some GRAPHS going, oh yeah.

Excel Sacrifice

• the Excel gods are hatin’ on me this morning. maybe I should do a spreadsheet dance? or a burnt offering of server capacity?

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P.S. For more information on Excel Charts, please see Jon Peltier’s Excel Chart Tutorials and Chart Utilities.
Note: I earn a small commission if you purchase products through this link. Thanks!

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It’s Friday, and you made it through another week without yelling at your boss. Well, I hope you did. 😉

Some people are suffering though, and they might need a bit of medication, or maybe the best solution is just another Excel spreadsheet.

Excel Problems

• Oh excel, how I hate that you like to complain about compatibility, but don’t show me where the problem is. The "Find" link is missing 🙁
• #Excel Tip: If your sheet/function isn’t working, never say "It should work." Ask "What am I doing wrong?" & look until u find the problem
• I think the solution to every problem might just be an Excel spreadsheet!
• Problems that Excel can’t solve http://sbne.ws/r/3D5I —Much as I LOVE Excel, nice to know intuition rules!

Send a Doctor

• Do I have Excel…that’s like asking as doctor if she has a stethoscope
• Sounds like you need an excel spreadsheet. And some meds.
• Long weekend in front of Excel and now getting sick. Not a good time thus far. Spreadsheet and I are tied 3-3. In extra time now. 🙁
• Trying to concentrate on an Excel workbook while doped on muscle relaxants can be tedious.

Excel Wizards

• The problem I keep running into is people in the office think I am a wizard on the PC, but I know nothing about Excel.
• OMG our VP of measurement is an excel GURU. Never thought I’d sit here so blown away in from of an excel spreadsheet!
• why do i have to be the Excel wiz-kid at work… ugh they got me formulating spread sheets and everything!

Making the Big Bucks

• Why do CFOs love Excel & hate CRM? Liking the ‘salespeople lie at different rates’ comment. http://bit.ly/7Upoxg #in
• Things I explained to the CFO in the last 10 minutes: how excel works; how the phones work. You can tell who’s making the big bucks.
• I’ll neva understand how some1 can have such a high position in a company & can’t even perform BASIC operations on an Excel spreadsheet
• Sent an excel workbook out and raised my voice to my line manager. That’s enough work for a Friday.

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If you make it through school, you can graduate to an exciting career, working with Excel. And a little baling wire and duct tape might help too.

And if you’re on your way to becoming a pivot table genius, there are Pivot Table Tutorials on the Contextures website.

Big Dose of Wake-up

• I just added up all of my student and law school loans in an Excel spreadsheet. That’s a big dose of wake-up that coffee won’t give you.
• We just spent 20 mins of my 60 min class with the tech unsaavy prof trying to get students to download an excel spreadsheet. Idiots.
• I think my 6.0 gps is about to take nose dive – am about to fail a statistics exam! No amount of positive thinking will get excel to work
• thinks USM should have included more classes in parsing and abusing Excel files and XML files.

Pivotless Pivot

• Check out this Pivot-table-less PowerPivot report. @powerpivotpro says even Excel pros will be stumped! http://bit.ly/6IjmJi
• As good as the reporting tools in some web apps have become, they are still no match for a good old pivot table.
• Pretty sure… I’m an excel genius! My pivot table is a work of art! FML that this is what I’m excited about in life.

Macro Policy

• A little bailing wire and my duct taped VBA code that gets a MS Project file from a URL exports to excel & imports into access will be done!
• I hate that Excel 2007 policy about macros. I’m the developer, I know what I’m doing. Disabling all macros is just stupid.

It’s a Science

• No, Excel, I in fact do NOT want that ISBN in scientific notation. Thanks though. #workingatthelibrary #fb
• These people are allowing me to do stuff with scientific numbers and Excel spreadsheets… why?

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Excel helps you stay organized, and you can even help other people with their stuff. Just be careful that you don’t lose everything that you entered. Your wedding could be ruined!

And if you’re trying to make a timeline in Excel there are instructions here for an Excel Gantt Chart.

Excel Time

• Design an excel that can enter tasks, autocalculate dependencies, start/finish times, and make a gantt chart You mean MS Project? "No!"
• After looking at a lot of different time tracking methods, I’ve been told I have to use an excel spreadsheet. sigh.
• I still can not believe I went for so many years without a timeline excel spreadsheet. I access it more than my internetz
• one of my timesheet entries at work today: "explaining how to open a file in excel".

Wedding Plans

• Excel has fooked up my spreadsheet & I’ve lost all my fecking addresses so wedding thank yous are not going to well.
• I have surprised myself today with excellent excel skills. Best spreadsheet ever!! Wedding organisation is SO important…
• Decided to work on a guest list for the wedding. I am an Excel wannabe. I lost everything. All well. Guess no one is invited.

Clean and Organized

• I color-coded some rows in an Excel spreadsheet to let me know their status. The problem? I forget which color means which status… #fb
• oh yeah! i love how my data looks at pivot table. so clean and organized! finally can leave office and start my weekend in peace 😀
• I was just informed that bc I’m an organized sort of person its my job to make pretty excel charts 4 the accountant of all our biz expenses

Excel Tip of the Day

• Whenever you want to procrastinate on a big project, open an Excel worksheet. That’ll hold you for two hours at least.

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With all its calculations and charts, Excel can create some stress in your life. Sometimes, Excel might even drive you to drink! Just be careful if you decide to resort to Voodoo in your attempt to defeat Excel. A calculator might be a safer tool.

And if you’re mad a formulas too, the Excel Function Examples on the Contextures site might help.

Calc and Recalc

• I love baseball stats, and using Excel gives me more options than just typing stuff into my calculator.
• one yr8 was using a calculator to work out the average then typing it into excel. He said "why can’t i just use the calculator to do it?"
• PC reviewers stopped using massive Excel spreadsheet recalcs as benchmarks almost 20 years ago because PCs got too fast

I Heart Alcohol

• Ok I just completed an excel sheet on beer price analysis. $/ml, $/l, $ per carton equivalent etc.
• I’m a little buzzed from 3 peach mojitos and now I’m back at work staring at excel spreadsheets.
• Today has mainly been a blur. I hate lists. I double hate excel. I heart alcohol.
• too drunk to convert inch measurements to feet/inches. so instead wrote excel formulas to do it for me… I love being a dork…

Stress Reducer?

• Even though it’s been around for 25 years, MS Excel still makes it nearly impossible to make my point with a chart.
• hit by a sudden stress ball – remedy: making a chart in excel

Excel Voodoo

• I got mad at a formula, hissed at my laptop & then Excel shut down. Perhaps I am a voodoo gypsy of some sort and was just not aware?

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Twitter is a great place to complain about Excel, or escape for a few minutes. If only it didn’t leave that tell-tale Twitter icon on the Windows Taskbar!

And if you need help with your budget workbooks, there are a few examples on the Contextures Sample Excel Files page.

Twitter is Great

• i wish when you minimized twitter it wouldn’t say twitter on the tab, i wish it said, excel file324 then it would be easier to leave it up
• What’s happening? I’ll tell you what is happening, Twitter. Excel is being a whiny, useless, stupid bitch, that’s what’s happening.
• i honestly should be nose deep in excel and word and surrounded by data… but twitter is so damn great.

Need More Money

• Wondering where your money is going? Start entering and categorizing ALL of your receipts into an Excel spreadsheet. Try it for 3 months.
• Created an excel spreadsheet so I could make a budget for my Europe trip in may… I need to find another income! Soo poor!
• Organizing my cash flow and expenses, I would hire an accountant but according to this excel spreadsheet I need to make some more money LOL
• thank you personalized, color coated, google doc excel thing for making my $ issues appear to not be as sucky as they feel.

A Little Misty

• How goes the novel? my stepdad asked once, while visiting. I showed him the daily excel wordcount chart: exactly like that line, I said.
• My son just came in and said, "Dad, I’d like to know how to use an Excel spreadsheet." I’m not going to lie…I got a little misty.
• Have a date with mom & dad this Sunday to work out budget for myself. There’s going to be Excel docs & everything. Why am I excited? Sick.

A New Record

• Wow…this is an amazing…I haven’t touched Spreadsheet in 2010…..12 days and no excel-mania…

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Excel is making some people feel powerful, while others are confused. Maybe their brains are starved from being on the New Year’s diets. But remember — size doesn’t matter!

Activate the Neurons

• the MS Excel sumproduct function is powerful, and also confusing >:)
• Playing with Excel formulas, trying to activate the neurons that understand them. Only one line of code is too short for my imagination!
• I spent the last hour + on a 310 char excel formula, possibly the best i have ever written. #loveWhenICanAutomate
• It’s "act like an Excel magician" day for me at work. If() is the most powerful command in Excel. IfError() is also nice.

Still Confused

• can get really snarky at the way Excel’s use of the Windows clipboard is unilke that of any other app. Cut, copy, paste – standards, no?
• Filling up excel sheet and reports always always creates goosebumps for me. I hate these things
• Thinking that Excel Services is more about cutting / pasting from multiple to one spreadsheet rather than any SharePoint skill…
• i have been staring at the same excel spreadsheet for the past 8 hours.. and i am still confused.

The Excel Diet

• Going back on "poor girls weight watchers" which includes a personally-made excel sheet and bootleg WW sites to find points
• right have printed myself an excel diet progress chart lol…have got to get back on the wagon!!!

All About Size

• Oh dear me. I just made this comment: "I’m all about size." I swear I was referring to a 7 MB excel spreadsheet I was working on.

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P.S. To keep track of your weight loss download the Excel Weight Loss Tracker on the Contextures Blog.

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Excel, evil genius and Jane Austen. Where else but Twitter can you find those three things together?

Evil Genius

• I am officially a campaign treasurer. Hooray for Excel class paying off!
• I used the word "bitchin’" and the words "Excel spreadsheet" in the same sentence today.
• sometimes Excel makes me feel like an evil genius.
• I am like Jane Austen, writing furitively– but beneath the protective riddle of an Excel spreadsheet.

So Much to Learn

• Thinking about paying one of the finance guys at work to do my excel final project.
• taking an excel tutorial, becoming a smarter automaton ^^
• Ohmm, time to change from excel master class to yoga master class ;o)
• can someone explain the Kraljic matrix?! The Youtube demonstration with excel spreadsheet is no help at all!

A New Low

• Just finished an entire excel spreadsheet formula for a report due today for the wrong month.. #FML
• Life in IT – it’s always *our* fault – for everything! "I saved my spreadsheet as a jpeg and now Excel wont open it!!"
• I hate when I’m working with Excel, doing something totally time-consuming, only to realize an easier way hours later. Sigh…
• Wow, I reached the end of an excel worksheet. A new high or a new low?

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I thought people stayed home on snow days, but apparently in some places just the schools shut down, and people take their kids to the office.

Dating Tips

• I am dating excel spreadsheets this week. They are fun. Precise. Accurate. And most importantly, quiet. Cheers!
• I’ve created an Excel spreadsheet to document all the lovers I’ve had in my life. I’d like you to be cell A2. IT consultant (M, 34).

Make Macros

• When life hands you Excel, make macros.
• The biggest enemy of IT specialists is MS Excel. Why? Because every advanced user of it it thinks he can develop programs.
• I want to read: Excel 2007 VBA Programming For Dummies by John Walkenbach – http://bit.ly/5qXPFR
• About to start some actual proper Excel dev work, first time in about a year! Good times!

Back at Work

• School snow day = coworkers bring kids to work day!! Love having little ones at my desk. They seem to enjoy Excel so much more than I do…
• BTW, the Excel crisis was averted late today @ work by someone smarter than me…yup, I finally found one! 😉
• I slept in, but to be honest, I wish I was back at work. Even if it meant to my half cube next to a grammar correcting Excel rookie.
• Recovering from a serious skirmish between me, an actuary, a product analyst and an Excel spreadsheet.

Side of the Brain

• If you’re wondering whether you favor the left/right side of your brain, try using Excel, then Photoshop. The answer will manifest itself.

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Food and Excel seem to go together pretty well. You can use Excel to calculate your recipe ingredients, or store your shopping list. We don’t have Meijer stores in my neighbourhood, but they seem to sell everything from couches to camping gear to Cap’n Crunch cereal. Handy!

Selling Taste

• Domino is touting 40% increase in spices used in their new sauce. Is that a recipe or an Excel spreadsheet? Are they selling taste or stats?
• Giant pot of tea, a pile of chocolates, and the Excel spreadsheet from hell. Hoping this goes faster than I think it will.
• Love using excel to create nutrition facts- when I change an ingredient, I don’t have to do the math all over again!!!
• So I saw a guy at Meijer with a grocery list on an excel spreadsheet….Awesomeness

The Big Game

• You know what I hate more than Alabama or Texas? Excel. Why does every command need to be backwards? Who writes these programs anyhow? :/
• researching and entering data in excel, the video game for CPA’s
• I’m playing Scrabble on a board and using an Excel spreadsheet to keep score. #geeky

The Bank Job

• I cannot believe I’ve forgotten how to model deferred tax assets on an income statement in #Excel. Leaving banking clearly fried my brain.
• you need two things to work in a bank (IT): a good dress and the knowledge how to open "Excel" … thats all!

Two Problems

• If you have ever had a problem and thought to yourself, "hey, ill just use excel", well now you have two problems.

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What do you fear most? Your boss? Your unknown future? Losing your har?

These things, and much more, worry our Excel Twitterers today.

The Boss

• I just concatenated in Excel. Like a boss!
• My boss knows what I watch whilst at work! Sometimes I catch up on Eastenders whilst working on excel. Gud to have in background
• Woot moment: big boss walks in & i’m actually working! Working on multiple excel sheets right now. Jackpot friday. 😉
• It’s stuff for work that I do need excel for. I’ve been trying for weeks to make OpenOffice work, but boss finally said "STOP!"

It’s 2010

• I hate this time of year in Excel! I’m still entering dates from 2009 for the micies but autocomplete makes it 2010. 3 weeks of errors left.
• You can’t say I’m not diversifying in 2010. I’m currently working on my first Excel doc ever. OK so I’m not the author but I’m adding to it
• Entering dates in a spreadsheet and it’s hard to get used to the fact that Excel assumes the year 2010 instead of 2009 now.
• Have had a my biggest nerd moment of 2010 already. Designed a project timeline using a pivot table in Excel. Yeah. That’s hot.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

• #Excel was making me pull my hair out, so I shaved it all off last nite. That’s much better…Still can’t make a logic statement work, argh
• is gonna spend a lot of today checking formulas in an excel spreadsheet. Boy do i know how to let my hair down at the weekends!
• I get back home, my 10 yr old niece is learning Excel, moms wearing a Snuggy, and my brother chops off his hair. Its another dimension.

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I love Excel pivot tables, so it’s nice to see so many tweets that share the pivot table love. The Ribbon, however, doesn’t enjoy the same level of universal adoration. Maybe it’ll grow on us over time.

Pivot This Mess

• I will forever remember this day, for a few moments ago I realized the importance and use of Pivot Tables in Excel.
• I would recommend using a pivot table first. Pivot tables rule the Excel world! 8^)
• Working on my Romantic Comedies list… I need a spreadsheet and possibly a pivot table for this mess.
• Excel fun: run macros, watch screen flash like crazy, hit refresh button to see pivot tables and graphs update. It’s like magic! But not…

Sounds Bad

• Excel, is it really necessary to make 3 different noises when i try to save and close a CSV file? urgh
• aaand down goes Excel. Boom.
• a form asked me for the duration of a project, i put in "3-6" and i nearly sent it off with Excel having substituted that with 39878
• My Excel spreadsheet just suffered a minor loss of fidelity. I have no idea what this means, but I am saddened for it.

Scary Stuff

• Excel spreadsheets are the technological equivalent of the cockroach – http://bit.ly/53BdZ2
• The future isn’t going to be designed on an Excel spreadsheet. (via Paul Bennett/IDEO , http://bit.ly/6Ok5Ri )
• daily dose of Excel…that scared and turned me on at the same time. 😉

And Finally

• Can someone please tell me how to switch from StupidView to Classic View in new Excel?

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P.S. For help with Excel pivot tables, see Excel Pivot Tables Blog

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Today’s Excel tweets show the amazing diversity of Excel uses. And Excel users. You can use Excel to keep track of your Facebook friends, or to plan a space shuttle flight.

And I still use Excel books, but Google makes it possible to do quite a bit in Excel, without looking at books.

Something Useful

• i love @google. just created a timesheet template in excel using crazy formulas. google, making things possible without looking at a book
• I’m starting to wish I learned something useful in all those stats classes.. couldn’t they have at least taught me how to really use excel?
• Just ran into one of my adult ed. tech class students from 6 or 7 years ago. Told me my Excel module still impacted his life a great deal!

Friend and Unfriend

• is concerned that he has lost some FB friends,so has copied and pasted remaining ones into excel spreadsheet and filed under paranoia1.doc
• just us i used excel in a tweet doesn’t mean i want to follow you.

Making Music

• I’m playing Pokemon, making an Excel spreadsheet, and listening to a rap station on Pandora. One of the above does not belong.
• Only language I speak is excel. This is what I need iPod to do: =if({genre}="country",IF({singer}="lady","SKIP",""),"") #speakexcel? 😉 #fb

Excel in Space

• just posted part deux of article on building an spatial add-in for Excel on my blog at http://tinyurl.com/yatml8f
• I heard Excel gets used somewhere in Nasa – so it’s got cred. On the street.
• Is the No-Fly List on Microsoft Excel?

All the Power

• Am I the only person in this world who thinks the vlookup function in Excel is a whole bowl of awesome?
• i may not know what to do under the hood of a car, but i can get a formulae to work in excel, v-lookup anybody?.. #isThatSexy?
• Just discovered Excel’s V lookup function. I have the power now. All of it.

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P.S. For help with VLOOKUP formulas, see Excel VLOOKUP Formula.

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There’s always a mixture of love and hate for Excel in the daily tweets. Apparently Excel has a good thesaurus though. I guess the hater forgot to mention that.

And yes, I sometimes work out a formula on paper too, before writing it in Excel. Do you?

Pen and Paper

• smile to myself anytime i figure out how some numbers should work out in excel by doing symbolic manipulation on paper. math school.
• Excel worksheets can be very misleading! Nothing in theory ever is. So why do people believe that businesses can be conducted on paper?
• God old pen and paper can really help when you’re wrestling with an Excel formula… good night all.

Loathing and Disdain

• there is no end to my utter disgust, hatred, loathing, disdain, abhorrence, revulsion, or contempt for the abomination called "MS Excel"
• I hate when people want me to help them with their Excel formulas but don’t want me to explain how to do them.
• Balance: The number of traders who love Excel vs the number of developers who hate it because they must integrate it into other systems.
• I hate doing big projects at work, i never should have told them i am a master at excel. FML

Make It Idiot Proof

• Re-working another Excel workbook. I wish people that didn’t understand Excel wld leave it alone. Pretty comes later. Make it workable 1st.
• These projected earnings don’t make any sense. Either this company is about to go bankrupt, or I clicked the wrong cell in Excel again.
• People. If you don’t know how to freaking use excel, then STOP USING IT. All you are doing is making more work for me. I need a drink.
• Making spreadsheets in excel = easy.Idiot-proofing them so that others can’t screw it up = hard

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P.S. For help with Excel formulas, see Contextures Excel Tips and Tutorials

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It’s pretty cold here this week, so that Palm Springs Film Festival sure sounds tempting. But I’ll probably just stay inside and watch The Simpsons. But wherever I am, I definitely won’t be smoking!

What We’re Watching

• curling up in bed attempting to finish up these excel documents…$10 says I lose interest in the next 30mins and watch The Simpsons instead
• yeah, we are going to have to talk about this addiction to excel. I think there is a show on TLC about it…
• The post where I spend too much time mixing my love of Excel with that of the Palm Springs Film Festival – http://j.mp/8I51qu – #PSIFF
• I’m going to make a documentary called Gihm doing work. It will be in the fashion of ‘Kobe Doin Work’ but Excel, not basketball.

Smoking Is Bad

• Now on to reviewing lesson plan for Excel class. I’m smokin’! Not really. Smoking is bad for you. I meant that metaphorically. Or something.
• I don’t understand why I can’t light one up at work –I mean I would focus more on my damn excel sheets

Your Tax Dollars

• our entire office was taught how to use the Sort function in Excel today. I kid you not. your tax dollars at work!
• Ugggh, not happy, have to redo all my Excel sheets and invoices for the return to the old VAT rate. What a waste of time. Thanks Government!

Who Chose the Defaults?

• thanks 🙂 It is really frustrating to try and use excel for something it wasn’t designed for (charts, for instance :P)
• New Excel charts look much prettier than old ones, WAAY LESS INTUITIVE TO PUT TOGETHER
• Why can’t I find black & white texture options in Excel 2007 charts anymore? Hasn’t anyone at Microsoft ever had to write a dissertation?
• We need to find the person who chose the defaults for Excel charts. And have a discussion with them.Possibly involving baseball bats.

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P.S. If you’re trying to create a fill pattern in Excel 2007 charts, download Andy Pope’s free Pattern Fill Add-in.

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Here’s the first collection of Excel related tweets for 2010. Some people are reluctant to get back to work, but Excel will be waiting for them, with open arms.

And I’d like to temporarily set the date default to 2009 sometimes too. If you’re entering data from last month, it’s a pain to have to add the year to every date. I guess you could enter them all, then use Edit/Replace to change all the December 2010 dates to December 2009.

Happy New Year

• I guess the next week will be all about writing the year wrongly as "2009"…I hope the world was as understanding as Excel #fb
• Back to work tomorrow, just as I was starting to forget what an Excel spreadsheet looked like.
• I promise to stop writing down my resolutions each year in Excel spreadsheets. It makes them seem much less fun.
• Damn you Excel. Can’t you figure out I mean 12/28/09 instead of 2010? Why make me stick in the 09?
• crap just noticed my excel spreadsheet is all jacked. i’m been paying 2/3 of the utilities this year instead of 1/2. merry x-mas to my roomy

Build the Budget

• Sort of ironic that Excel freezes up while I’m budgeting for a company MS Office volume license upgrade!
• Crap! I forgot the password for my protected Excel worksheet. Gah. It was my debt budget too!
• Turkey… it’s what’s for dinner!! Excel Budget Spreadsheet… it’s what’s for dessert!! Love HOME work, ARGH!!

Fast or Slow

• who cares if it’s slow or fast? does it work with excel? comment on C v Java "who’s fastest debate" http://bit.ly/7Zk3oP
• Hey Excel, I’ve got 8GB of RAM. I think it’s okay if you leave "a lot" of data on the clipboard. #MSSlowsMeDown
• Is pretty sure her work computer is dying … it shouldn’t take 35 mins to enter numbers into excel!
• When excel warned me that this was going to take a while, I probably should have listened…

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P.S. For help with Excel, see Contextures Excel Tips and Tutorials

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Last day of the year/decade. You’ll have a few days away from your boss, enjoying time with your family. Happy New Year!

Here Comes the Boss

• I feel like I’m in a Nascar pit crew when the boss comes round n I hav 3 secs to look busy. Facebook & ESPN closed! Excel, maximize!
• My boss just called, asking me how Excel works. I really should have demanded a raise before I told him.
• My 75 year old boss hand writes AND THEN puts it in excel. I don’t think he gets it

Family Secrets

• I have a secret weapon when it comes to Excel. I married a CPA.
• I am to show my dear mother the basics of Excel. This will not end well.
• teaching dad about gmail labels, quick links and excel shortcuts. Now that is a Xmas present with love and lots of patience!

Bad Year

• Old man next to me on train reading a book on excel 2003, should I tell him there on 2008 now?
• I think I’m going to try Quicken this year. I shall miss my outlandishly intricate Excel spreadsheets.
• All of my excel grids are broken. None are replicating formulas, even when I do Paste Special: Formulas. Worst tragedy of my 2009.

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P.S. For up to date Excel books, see Contextures Excel Books

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Congratulations! You’ve made it to the middle of the last week of the decade! Take a little time off for some food, fun and games, in Excel, of course.

Sink Your Teeth Into It

• Breakfast at the diner, greenmarket, then back home to plot for the next year. This may involve excel.
• My wife is seriously making an excel spreadsheet for food shopping… She’s as much of a dork as I am!
• Last year tried to build a lunch cooking spreadsheet, with critical path analysis. Alas my Excel skills were too rusty.

Food For Thought

• An Excel spreadsheet can be anything you want it to be…

Board Games

• I have tetris in an Excel spreadsheet! that’s my idea of a good game *g*
• Just spent 30 minutes making a Pacman ghost in Excel. I am so cool.
• Am I a nerd if I use an excel sheet to add points while playing board games??
• What was the Bowl Challenge Update done in, Excel 88??
• Is such a geek. I’m creating an excel spreadsheet to graph the cost of going snowboarding at PknPk vs. Holiday Valley over time. lol

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P.S. Of course Excel and food planning go together: Excel Dinner Planner

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Sorting a list, making a chart – how hard could it be? Good thing we have Excel to improve our productivity!

So Hard To Sort

• I’m sorry non-sorting excel person; you are the weakest link. Please don’t let them near me during Global.
• Just upgraded all the software on the work laptop for the SF move. Office 2007 is screwing with my head — so hard to sort in excel!

Just Make It Work

• too short! although this wk is pretty slow at work. The joy of being an analyst, its all excel voodoo. smoke and mirrors. you?
• MS Excel cannot find the data you are looking for is one of you using #Jedi mind tricks on my PC???
• Is is sad that my Christmas reading is an Excel data analysis book? ha!
• Oh Excel, I just need a simple X vs. Y graph of some data, why do you taunt me with your overly complicated axis categories.
• If I don’t get this job because I am incapable of advanced filtering excel data I will cry like a big old baby!!
• Dear world: stop asking me to “just make it work” with Excel-based data import solutions. Signed, grumpier-than-usual Peter

Counterproductive

• Excel just crashed… hmph! If Microsoft really wanted to promote productivity, why don’t they make a program that doesn’t crash?

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P.S. For help with advanced filters, see Excel Advanced Filter

And see how to run an Excel filter based on list items

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Cartoon backgrounds in your Excel worksheets? Why not? Things are slow during the last week of the year, so have a bit of fun. Just remember to get rid of those backgrounds before the new year starts!

Formatting Frenzy

• Note to Excel users. Just because there are hundreds of available colors does not mean they should all be used in one spreadsheet.
• I use Excel ALL DAY. After I replied to you I promptly started putting cartoon backgrounds on my workload vs performance analysis.
• sometimes at work I start highlighting boxes in excel. I do this until I believe I have highlighted a perfect square then measure each side

Iconic Humour

• I want one of those giant icon suits in the Windows mobile adverts. I think I would like to be word…. or maybe excel.
• I like ordering icons in my dock to make little words… Example:Powerpoint + Entourage + Word + Excel = PEWX. 😛

Excel and Beer

• Question of the day.. Is MS working w/ alcohol producers? Cuz excel 2007 makes me want to drink @ work. Sooooooo slow and stupid. Ugh!
• I need a glass of brunello and to master excel within the hour.
• Anyone in Tweetville an EXCEL pro? How do I make it so different pages are on tabs. Wines, Beers & Spirits should be diff pages HELP!!
• So I think I’m gonna do it guys. I’m going to inventory my freezer/pantry. This will take a lot of time, Excel, and beer.

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P.S. For help with Excel, see Contextures Excel Tips and Tutorials

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Finally, it’s Christmas Eve, and all the shopping is done, presents are wrapped, and complicated toys are assembled. Time for you to curl up with a nice Excel spreadsheet, play a few games, and relax by the crackling fire.

Merry Christmas!

Excel Games

• For those interested, MS Excel 95 had a code embedded in it that brought up a "Doom" styled game. ‘Twas called "The Hall of Tormented Souls"
• you can always be overly-indie and experimental and start making games in excel.
• There was just a question on The Weakest Link about Excel spreadsheets. I got it right.

Holiday Cheer

• WHO doesn’t know how to sort in Excel?!? my CAT can SORT in Excel. Dear Santa, forget the toy – bring me a bottle of Cabo Wabo. Blue.
• How did people organise Christmas dinner before the internet, excel speadsheets and cut and paste?
• Doing accounts with Excel…feel like a 21st century Bob Cratchit
• i am getting paid $15 an hour to talk about christmas, write names on file folders, and teach people how to use excel. god i love temp work!
• LOL…they should run a special Excel class just to help ppl w/ their Xmas card lists! Every year it’s such a headache….

The Shopping Is Done

• Is it just me? I feel like I need an excel spreadsheet or something to keep track of gifts purchased, shipping dates, arrival dates, etc.!!!
• Big Family, 100+Gifts Color Coded Excel Spreadsheet 4 Christmas Gifts! Givers & Receivers, Bought, Wrapped, Ordered, Shipped, Almost Done!
• I organized all our X-mas shopping into a multi-sheet spreadsheet in Excel. My wife claims this is "nerdy".
• Enhanced the pivot table macro by updating embedded .exe to facilitate even speedier Xmas packing? Check. Laundry started? Hells no!

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P.S. If you or your cat need help with those lists, see the Contextures page on Excel sorting.

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There was an interesting question about government reports in the Excel Twitter posts. What’s your opinion? And after you’ve pondered that, you can take a look at the 2010 predictions, and decide how accurate they are.

Government Reports

• Due diligence is more than an excel sheet with wild guesses on revenues, pass it on.
• Opinions please … if you’re preparing a report for senior Government people, how pretty should the Excel spreadsheet be???

Family Time

• thinks it’s setsy when the hubby emails me with the subject "please modify the excel spreadsheet and send it back to me." Rawr! #fb
• I sent my mom an excel presentation lastnight trying to be serious about the purchase oew furniture. She described it as "cute" thanks mom.
• Looking at an Excel file with 4360 rows of data – everything is blending together. If I don’t make it out alive, tell my mom I love her.

Feature Request

• Dear Microsoft, Why does putting bulleted lists in Excel need to be such a pain? Please fix this ASAP and send me a product update.
• I either need to find out that Excel does magical things that I didn’t know about or invent a spreadsheet that can read my find.
• i wish there was some text based spreadsheet like excel 1.0 without any fancy formating. using it a lot for text merging and stuff.
• It’s so small a thing … but I wish that Excel knew the MEAN function. I keep putting it in and then have to change to AVERAGE.

2010 Predictions

• Bailout extended to Microsoft after it’s discovered that the banking industry is held together with VB6/Excel macros http://is.gd/5t6Ge

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P.S. For lots of magical Excel tips, see  Contextures Excel Tips and Tutorials
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Geez, school was much tougher a hundred years ago, when I was in class. We didn’t watch movies and bake cookies! And of course, Excel hadn’t been invented yet, so there were no Excel classes either. I did take a typing class though, and that has been more helpful in my career than I would have ever imagined. Who knew I’d be spending all day on the keyboard?

Higher Education

• Another successful Excel Tips training today. I love hearing, "that’s cool!" particularly when it really is.
• 1st period: sit & do nothing 2nd period: movie 3rd period: bake cookies 4th period: work on excel 5th: talk 6th: nothing. (I learn so much)
• I’m reminded why I wasn’t good at math in CÉGEP (maybe it was the pot). The numbers on my excel sheet don’t add up!
• I passed my stupid class, "Applications of Discrete Methods in Technology" 🙂 IDK why they just didnt call it "Bullshit with Excel"

Excel: Discuss

• Discussion about good, bad and ugly about Excel spreadsheets. Waiting for someone to say we need a better "paperclip"
• Had a great discussion about Excel this weekend. Think that’s boring? If so then you obviously don’t love Excel.

Excel’s Greatest Hits

• Things I (re)discovered today Formula Drag in MS Excel and Judas Priest’s Greatest hits album 🙂
• Listening to house music while crunching this excel work is making me a lil #wired
• Listening to Puccini. Drinking Rooibos. Hoping one or the other will stop me swearing at Excel. 🙂
• Listening to Rick James while making pivot tables and charts on Excel of my monthly spending. What a way to spend a Saturday.

Excel Proficiency

• hint: on a scale of 1-10, take what you think your level of ms excel proficiency is at – then subtract 3. that’s your true level.

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P.S. For lots of cool Excel tips, see  Contextures Excel Tips and Tutorials
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