How long do you spend each day, picking colours for Excel? Or do you use animal codes instead? And speaking of animals, can your dog make a pivot table, or does your mom have to do that for him?
Excel Twitter 20170609
If you’re planning a dinner party, how many Excel formulas do you use? Does it require Gantt charts too? Or do you write some VBA code to handle all the details? If you have an Apple computer, please ignore these questions.
Excel Twitter 20170519
Is Excel a constant horror story? Do you hear people screaming every time you create a pivot table? Or, is your lizard brain happy about the new pivot table options?
P.S. If you don’t have those options, you can store and apply settings with my Pivot Power Premium (PPP) add-in.
Excel Twitter 20170512
Do you have that pivot table swagger? Or are you too busy working on your dog snout list? We’ll read all about it, in your biography, “The Spreadsheet”.
Excel Twitter 20170505
If you keep bringing Excel to a screeching halt, you won’t be able to solve all your problems. Maybe you should take the summer off, or play with your investment portfolio for a while, to relax.
Excel Twitter 20170428
This week, people are singing and dancing and dreaming about Excel. Just be sure to remember where to put your first and last names on the worksheet, or you might have to join the military.
Thanks to Bill Jelen (Mr. Excel) for recommending one of this week’s tweets. You can find more tweets, and great tips in his book: Mr. Excel XL – The 40 Greatest Excel Tips of All Time.
Excel Twitter 20170421
That poor dad! I never let Excel questions distract me like that. Well, hardly ever. Not more than twice a day. And certainly not when I’m color coordinating my workbooks.
Excel Twitter 20170407
Of course it’s cool to use Solver in Excel! Maybe not as cool and time-saving as a pivot table, but way cooler than clearing a filter.
Excel Twitter 20170331
What’s your biggest problem in Excel? Writing complex code? Creating pivot tables? Making a chart for a coffee run? And just when you figure that out, they add another feature!
Excel Twitter 20170324
The war with Excel continues. I’ve had a few battles with it, but never needed to use a sander! Now get back to making pie charts, and watching other people use Excel.
Excel Twitter 20170317
Working in Excel is a good excuse for not going out in the snow. Just make sure you have some coffee before you start doing the difficult stuff. And remember to close that shared file when you’re done with it!
Excel Twitter 20170310
Would you rather talk to your mom about Excel, or stand in the freezing rain? No matter which you choose, be careful that you don’t drag your pivot table off the edge of your monitor.
Excel Twitter 20170303
Has a frog ever saved you from an Excel file that was about to consume you? Or does Excel simply fix all your problems, while you listen to sea shanties?
Excel Twitter 20170224
Are Pivot Tables the magical genie of Excel? How many times will Excel crash today? Should you use lime green in your spreadsheets? If you had minored in Excel, you might know the answers to those questions.
Excel Twitter 20170210
Does Excel make you whine, or can it turn water into wine? If you’re not sure how to do that, ask one of the office dogs. Or, Google might know, if you can figure out how to ask.
Excel Twitter 20170203
Does Excel make you feel calm, or does it give you nightmares? Can it solve every problem, or is it a constant struggle? Does it give you a wave of pleasure, or feelings of deep shame? Answer when you’re ready.
Excel Twitter 20170127
Don’t feel stupid, and please stop crying. Google and YouTube will help you solve your Excel problems. But if that doesn’t work, just lie down, or go back to pen and paper.
Excel Twitters 20170120
Could a pie chart destroy the universe? Would you make a pivot table to earn a hot chocolate? These are stupid questions about Excel, so please don’t Google them.
Excel Twitter 20170113
Did Excel formulas end your childhood? If so, was it a specific function, or all of them?
And if there aren’t many spreadsheet scenes in The Accountant, would there be some in a movie about bus drivers?
Excel Twitters 20170106
Happy New Year! I hope that 2017 is off to a good start for you. Now that the holidays are over, is Excel working correctly, and did you remember the route to your office?
Excel Twitters 20161216
If you’ve been very good, Santa might bring you an error-free spreadsheet this year. If not, you’ll get a lump of coal and a some broken code that will take days to fix. Merry Christmas, and I’ll see you back here in January!
Excel Twitters 20161202
Does Excel give you infinite cosmic power, just like Aladdin’s genie? Or is your life a delicate balance between spreadsheets and Twitter?
Excel Twitters 20161118
Every day with Excel is awesome, until you discover that your lunch is mouldy. Or if Excel catches fire, when you’re up to your neck in pivot tables.
Excel Twitters 20161111
Can you ever have too much love for Excel? Or does it just lead to trouble in the office, with pivot table fights? To restore peace, go watch a movie, like The Accountant – I won’t tell you how it ends.
Excel Twitters 20161104
Are you saying “Thanks!” to the gods of Excel, or “Not today!”. And is it Pearl Jam, or lack of pivot tables, that will eventually kill you?
Excel Twitters 20161028
Don’t worry if nobody else cares about your awesome Excel file! At least that Christmas 2016 workbook is ready, and you’re all relaxed now. Take a break and knit a scarf or something.
Excel Twitters 20161021
Are pivot tables a powerful secret weapon? Would James Bond use them to outwit the bad guys? Or maybe he planned all of his moves in Excel’s old flight simulator.
Excel Twitters 20161007
Are your nightmares filled with Excel files or creepy clowns? I’ll answer that question after I finish these three delicious plates of pasta. I might need a coffee break too. Oh, and a piece of gum.
Excel Twitters 20160930
How much Googling of Excel stuff do you do every day? Or are your days filled with menu analysis and pivot table muscles? And I’d love to see a TV script about Excel!
Excel Twitter 20160923
There are Excel books for dummies; should we have Excel messages for dummies too? That might reduce the number of #REF! errors. Or not. Oh, the horror!
Excel Twitter 20160916
With all the seductive whispering, X-rated workbooks, disturbing dreams and nerdgasms, this week’s collection of tweets might not be suitable for children. If you’re underage, or a sensitive type, perhaps you should play Pokeman Go instead.
Excel Twitter 20160909
Are your pivot tables mean? Are your Excel workbooks fact or fiction? Is it a real workday, if Excel is behaving nicely? These, and other important questions, in this week’s Excel tweets.
Excel Twitter 20160819
Do you ever have a roller coaster day with Excel? If so, are pivot tables usually involved? And I know it’s a typo, but “troublesheet” is my new favourite word.
Excel Twitter 20160805
Do your Excel charts look like the Batman logo? Or does your work look more like a $15 mouse, and it’s slowly killing you?
Excel Twitter 20160722
Even if you’ve been in love with Excel for a long time, does it still give you butterflies? Or have you moved on to Pokémon and Hamilton?
Excel Twitter 20160708
Does it feel like you’ve spent 8 hours working in Excel today, or 500 years? It probably doesn’t matter, as long as your pivot table is relevant.