Category: Excel Humor

It’s Excel poetry day, according to these tweets. Do you prefer the COUNTIF poem, or the better known IF poem? And IF you’re not in the mood for poetry, you can draw circles and eat cake.

• I am having a bad data day.#excel #sass
• Want to make a Google map from a spreadsheet of stuff? I always lose this url, so this is also for me 😉 http://bit.ly/adPGtM
• Had to resort to a 4pm coffee to get through this spreadsheet. Seriously, 9 hours of excel should be illegal.
• Meal planning takes time & practice. I made a spreadsheet at 1 point b/c of my own busy schedule. Plan +1 trip 2 store = savings!
• this lab suuucks…. this excel spreadsheet has more numbers on it than almost any thermo problem so that’s saying something!
• Today was all Excel grids, all the time. Pricing work is like that.
• There are "tests" for programming positions. Are there similar exercises for financial analysts? Need something to funnel the pool #excel
• To draw circles using xy scatter charts needs the SIN, COS and RADIANS functions. They have something to do with circles, right? #excel
• I just spent almost 2 hours typing in stupid commands for something I just found out I can do in 20 seconds flat. I freaken hate excel -_-
• Excel has just informed me that I am 28.9 years old. I hate you #Excel.
• I’m surprised your grooms cake isn’t an Excel spreadsheet!
• Autofilled a really stupid Excel formula over 950K rows. Ouch, my CPU!
• 15mins work become 1hour work. Stupid Excel.
• If you have read my bio and wondered my thoughts on THAT Kipling poem. Where i’m at is he would have been better to nest those IFs #excel
• i love it when programmers act condescending to Excel users whose spreadsheets get messy, as if our code never gets messy.
• Oh "COUNTIF" function…how I love thee! You make Excel like a fragrance of organization and make auditing so full of ease…#NerdPoem
• Today my PowerPoint and excel skills are #winning! Got kudos for all kinds of fancy charts that took me no time to do!

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Functions
• Excel Weekly Meal Planner

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Yes, if you tweet less, you’ll probably get more done — unless your brain goes numb from staring at Excel!

• excel – proof that satan does walk among us here on earth. that and the starbucks at the airport.
• And xcelsius only mimics Excel. It lacks many functions, and its charts are nowhere near as flexible or capable.
• every year I SWEAR I won’t go a year before dealing with that spreadsheet.
• I love that the term "review" in office speak means "come show me how to do this because I am a moron and don’t know how to use excel"
• Perfect. Step-by-step directions for analysing our lab report data, that I canny follow with my archaic version of excel #FML
• deep in #excel spreadsheets… definitely got the #mondayfeeling
• Why would I ever, ever, want the original formatting when pasting into an Excel Spreadsheet? #losingmytemperatmiscrosoft
• I’m sat in front of a puter typing numbers into a spreadsheet and have been for the last 3hrs. How do people do this everyday? Brain is numb
• Good morning, #Excel. Looks like we’ll be spending the day together. I fear the spam to be wrought by tweeting about a Microsoft product.
• I just stumbled my way through my first pivot table…look out world, my spreadsheets are about to get #EPIC
• The worst thing I’ve done in the past week is make a spreadsheet. It haunts me.
• I can only share that with my wife and giant spreadsheet 🙂
• Dear person who messed up this excel spreadsheet. If I ever find you, I’m going to be as mean to you as Excel is being to me #deathbyexcel
• Signs you’re a nerd: when you make a master to-do list in excel so you can color-code and sort by due date. #fb #nerdalert
• Maybe if I just make a spreadsheet of my daily schedule, I could spare you guys the live-tweeting of my life.
• why are you denying me access spreadsheet, I put the right password in >:-(
• Is pretending to shoot my PC screen at work a normal thing to do? (Excel took the full force of the blast)
• Bollocks, I was set to have such a productive day today – the sum total of my day; 4 lines in an Excel spreadsheet. Should tweet less!
• It takes years to figure out the error you get in #excel

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel VBA
• Excel Tips and Tutorials
• Excel Keyboard Shortcuts 
• Excel Templates
• Excel Functions
• Excel Calorie Counter

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What did you do on the weekend? Finish your ironing? Sleep? Work on lab reports? Analyze your poker swings? Colour your Excel worksheets?

• Points? Bars? What is this madness? We need PIE CHARTS. THOSE are the best way to show our data. #excel #biologists
• trying to teach myself how to make charts & graphs in excel. oy vey. anyone know a great tutorial for the numbers-challenged?
• absolutely knackered! Too many statistics and excel and pie charts today. Need a sleep but no off to work 🙁
• 3 hours later, spreadsheet down, now the ironing! Whoop whoop!!
• My boss has been trying to fix an excel formula for 2 days. I fixed it in 2 minutes. Feel so smart.
• When making a pivot table, make it first a simple count (put the same item in the Data and Row fields). Then complicate, slowly.
• I’ve seen two sorting issues with Excel in two days (not mine)… a reminder to double check your work and cross-reference a reliable file.
• #petpeeve People who use whole sentences to name columns in #excel and people who feel that EVERY column neds to be a diff color #skittles
• No, they are fun to make. I don’t get to make them anymore at work now so I have pivot table envy.
• So I am going to open my pivot table and get myself a coffee. It should be open by the time I get back in 10 minutes
• Grad committee meeting = success! Microsoft Excel charts = painful.
• By popular demand (one person asked) I am returning to the spreadsheet to keep track of poker swings. Trying to get enough data to graph
• Have reached new heights of #geek- using an excel spreadsheet to make up my shopping list for the day of baking.
• literally having the same problem for the past 2 days. you think they could just make excel easy. or just rid of lab reports
• Demand for my modelling work seems to have increased 10fold over the last few weeks. I just wish people didn’t constrain it to MS Excel.
• I know I practically have a career working in Excel, but if I have to stare at a spreadsheet for ONE MORE HOUR #illjustkeepwhining #NB4R
• Death by pivot table. #seriously
• At work. Feel like I’m in detention. 1000 lines of spreadsheet hell completed.
• What’s a Pivot Table? #thingsnottosayatsloan

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Special Sort

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Some Excel files look a bit cheesy, but I didn’t know that a specific variety of cheese caused problems. Maybe the Emmental creates holes in the data.

• My boss told me to make my Excel spreadsheets more exciting.
• New Excel 2010 resource center for IT professionals on TechNet! http://cot.ag/dPtDvS
• is it weird that I got REALLY excited about learning how to make a pivot table? Yeah, thought so.
• *FACE PALM* Don’t #$&@##$*% touch the excel spreadsheet if you don’t know how to work the formulas!! Thank goodness for backups.
• never eat emmental cheese and work on excel!
• Fairly sure that the joy experienced over a simple pivot table makes me some kind of weirdo Excelophile.
• Help Twitter can anyone work Excel?!
• Is in a teleconference listening about pivot tables, excel spreadsheets, etc. #brainhurtsnow
• Just 7 more hours of pretending to work today. I do have my desk lamp on and a random Excel sheet up on my screen… I hope that helps.
• Finish the spreadsheet and maybe we’ll talk
• I just found out, the numbers on excel actually DO end! On 1,048,576. Random number…or secret code? 😉
• Your Cheating Chart: Here’s 6 examples of charting methods that may distort data. http://ow.ly/47gtW #Excel
• Left work early only to come home and have to teach my dad how to use excel, great! X
• At Sloan: someone said "I’m having trouble w/ my Excel"; 1000 heads whipped up in unison" #ssac
• I write my rhymes on spreadsheet that why am bound to excel
• my pivot table just asked me SHALL WE PLAY A GAME? should I be scared? http://bit.ly/e4JJgm
• Once again, Excel is my friend. I have an ‘insane spreadsheet of doom’ ready to record the results #huu11
• My 3rd period class needs to get off Tweeter and get to work on your Excel spreadsheet on flowers!~Mrs. Rich

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Templates

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If you work on your Excel spreadsheets while driving, you probably won’t need to worry about a pension. Insert your own "crashing Excel" joke here.

• I just used a pension calculator. My God thats a depressing spreadsheet.
• Office challenge: How would you improve this #Excel spreadsheet | TechRepublic http://dlvr.it/J587y
• It would help if I made sure that a timeline with dates from 12/29 to 3/17 were not all in 2011 #excel #duh
• New work laptop. Thing is so fast I need a seatbelt. Bring on the Excel formulas!
• EXCEL: "Done! Ohhh, you have another 1.2M cell spreadsheet open, let me recalculate that too. My pleasure." – WINDOWS7: "Shush again, user!"
• Is there a charity where I can donate all my unused Sheet2 and Sheet3? #excel
• Did I just sync 340MB of Excel spreadsheets to my phone so that I can work while driving? Yes. Yes I did. #productivityoversafety
• A user called with a problem with a spreadsheet. They were trying to open up an Excel file in Word. I love my job.
• In this issue of "Kelly Gets Bogged Down in the Details: Excel Spreadsheet Edition," we explore the abyss that is pivot tables.
• The biggest ever Excel macro project is almost done. 14 code modules, takes around 6 minutes to run making ~4100 calculations for 36 charts!
• There is a colour war on my Excel spreadsheet. Green is by far in the lead but it’s making me think of, well, sick.
• I just solved an Excel problem that’s been plaguing me for years. I AM AN EXCEL NINJA!!!
• last few days – being trained in the ways of the pivot table by an excel jedi. ‘let the reports flow through your fingers, young padawan’.
• So far this week I have been told I am ‘A Star’ twice; once for creating a folder, and once for inserting a column in an Excel spreadsheet.
• Would love to know how #Excel can get -0.00, is zero negative!? Grr! Now I just need to reconcile some mismatches
• There’s something always fulfilling, finally finishing w/finicky spreadsheets. 312 spreadsheets down to one massive pivot table.
• Dear Microsoft Excel, if I wasn’t so consistant with saving my work I would probably be more angry, but please STOP CRASHING. Thank you.
• Similarly, I was given a "Top Marks" sticker just for showing someone how to make a pivot table in Excel last month. I AM 30, ffs.
• I love excel. It makes me look like I can do maths when in reality I suspect I have number dyslexia at times if there’s such a thing
• At work and staring at an excel sheet full of timelines. Will definitely need that drink. Or three.

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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Maybe that Mom with OCD could do the calculation on how much space is wasted by the extra sheets in a blank Excel file.

• Playing with an Excel spreadsheet for the first time in a year, and surprising myself how much I’d forgotten.
• Am I the last person in the U.S. to not know how to use #excel?! This is so annoying.
• UTTER NIGHTMARE: Trying to collaborate on 1 spreadsheet, 1 corporate network; multiple users/places. SharePoint + Excel = #FAIL
• I am head over heels in love with Excel. Also graphs. Lots of graphs.
• I love the Excel team. I loathe the Word team. How do they exist in the same universe never mind the same company?
• Listening to Yuck’s debut album whilst manually editing 2974 lines in an Excel spreadsheet at work. This is a good metaphor for my life.
• Today I have mostly been; working on the biggest Excel spreadsheet ever, a bit of email marketing & helping re-arrange the office furniture.
• The only reason why the majority of people don’t switch to #Apple is because of #Microsoft #Excel. $APPL, $MSFT.
• I wish I had an Excel pivot table ninja sat next to me today. Clueless doesn’t begin to cover it.
• I’m either too stupid or too smart to function with excel. I just can’t do it.
• This stupid Excel sheet will NEVER leave me alone! My boss just keeps telling me more stuff to add onto it! ajsljfhahfkladhskgalsjfhaadsjkh!
• The two blank spreadsheets excel includes in every file are ~2kb each. Someone do the math and work how much space is being wasted
• it’s purposely intended to make those of us who only use one sheet feel inadequate so that we’ll start using excel more often
• There is officially nothing so geekily satisfying as a well constructed pivot table.
• I’m in love with Excel and formulas. Just thought I’d share that. Each and every time they work I smile. #onestepawayfromgeeky #coffeeclub
• careful, you are editing an unsaved spreadsheet Yep, that’s just the way I rock n roll 😉
• Thank goodness that my Mom’s a bit OCD and has an actual excel spreadsheet with all the trips we’ve ever taken. 🙂

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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Don’t let Scotland Yard find out that you’re working on charts in the middle of the night. That might make you a suspect!

• Gonna get screwed tomorrow for not lying well enough on the Excel spreadsheet. Honesty is overrated, what do you all think?
• Microsoft access is really smart. But I’m in love with excel. Nothing beats it
• Huh. Ok, getting the hang of this. It’s just like driving a brand-new car. In Europe. At night. In the rain. #excel #i’mold
• I’ve never worshiped at the spreadsheet alter, so I’ve also never understood this *thing* people have w/ Excel.
• not much makes me celebrate my awesomeness more than figuring out #Excel formulas and formatting by myself
• I say a prayer each time I update an embedded chart in word from my excel file … crashes galore. I don’t need this stress!
• Why were Scotland Yard wasting their time trying to crack an Excel file? We do have code breakers in this country you know!
• This excel worksheet for accounting will be the death of me for sure. #ineedspringbreaknow
• Most useful thing ever – pivot tables in excel 🙂
• I would like to learn how to create pivot tables in Excel. Before Friday. Totally do-able, right?
• apparently when I can’t sleep I make charts in excel. Pretty sure I need a life.
• Working on an "important" Excel Spreadsheet all morning.#MarchMadness.
• learning the value of work through data entry! 260 business cards, an excel spreadsheet, and lots of ginger ale.
• Must be too much Excel – now sporting trifocals after only one year of bifocals. #excel, #trifocals
• Never again will I confuse ‘reach around’ and ‘work around’ when discussing Microsoft Excel…
• My boss not here 🙁 This excel file cant be open. Im scared. Its a very important file. I want to cry.
• my head is mashed from looking at excel document. Stupid designers. Why can’t they make things easy?

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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Check your calendars — it’s March 1st, not February 29th. And please don’t write on your monitor.

• I don’t understand solving problem in excel by solver D:
• Took me a while to work out why Excel wouldn’t auto-convert 29/2 to a date. Doh!
• Grease pen or highlighter. Drawn directly on the monitor. Always the best way to do charts in Excel.
• Why would you make an excel-file to ‘make things easier’ and then make it this messy, when it prints? smh stupid companies..
• Course…Pivot table time….sleeppy…
• It really shouldn’t be this hard to turn an excel spreadsheet into mailing labels.
• This #oscars prediction spreadsheet is engulfing me. The real winner tonight is Microsoft Excel
• Excel took 10 minutes to open a single worksheet. I’m running Office 2004 on a 2007 computer. If there’s an excuse, I’m all ears.
• The AND function can tell what is TRUE and FALSE. Its symbol is a blind woman holding scales #excel #AND
• Used to track winners via yellow legal pad and clipboard, tonight making an excel chart. Once a stage manager, always a stage manager…
• one hour of code optimisation later, the excel macro now only takes 3 minutes to run instead of 30+minutes
• Just accidentally posted a picture of a pug into an Excel Spreadsheet. Might leave it there.
• oh man under what tab in excel is the option for a pivot table? i can’t find it…
• Am i the only who keeps an Excel chart of all their coupons from these group buying sites? #virgo
• Excel Hell again today, at least these are torts and not beers… so I got that going for me. #fml
• I am master of #Excel! It took nearly 2 hrs to figure out 2 formulas but got there in the end! (there’s a gd reason I’m in law not finance!)

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel VBA
• Excel Tips and Tutorials
• Excel Keyboard Shortcuts 
• Excel Templates
• Excel Functions
• Excel Calorie Counter

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What did you do for fun on the weekend? Solve recursion problems? Watch campy movies? Practise safe sorting?

• just solved a recursion problem in my Excel spreadsheet, to auto-count the number of times a cell has been edited. #excitingsaturdaynights
• Don’t you hate it when closing #Excel and it asks you if you want to save, even though you last saved right after all changes? WTF changed??
• traversing the wilds of #Excel #ExecutiveDashboarding #barefoot in my #VFF Mocs
• Need to find a way for this stupid excel formula to work. Putting in the right thing but it’s giving me 0 as the answer when it’s not. -_-
• I am working on my menu spreadsheet and just got remembered that i learned at work how to do a pivot table in Excel. #geek
• I just built a spreadsheet to track poop. No, really.
• girl, we are all about excel during nyc/lon/mil/paris fw. Spent too many an hr becoming besties with that beast of a spreadsheet.
• I’m in some kind of Excel spreadsheet hell…. Who created that STUPID program? A man… that’s who…
• So those columns that I hid in a spreadsheet I haven’t opened since August? Yeah, those would have helped this project along two hours ago!
• entering all of my pros and cons into an excel spreadsheet. Saves potential suitors time and money.
• I’m categorizing my movies in an Excel spreadsheet and I’m dearly tempted to use ‘campy’ on Camp Rock. Because it’s… camp-y. #3am
• Love it: "Always practice safe sorting." – Jo Craven McGinty with New York Times. Her point was to be wary using excel shortcuts. #nicar11
• work sucks but atleast my brother plays good music while we do it! jamming out while making an excel spreadsheet, ya kno, normal stuff
• Well…on the plus side – uni has now shown me how to make charts on Excel.
• my roommate just calculated the amount of vodka we have left by making a pie chart on excel…..hahahah
• whew! that’s a wrap! peace out #excel! I’ve had enough of your crashing for one day! and yes, i’ve heard of #openoffice

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Related Links:

• Excel Weekly Meal Planner
• Excel Functions
• Excel Dashboard Templates

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Does your boss know how to use Excel? Or does your boss prefer a whiteboard and calculator?

• Been working on a massive spreadsheet for about 4 hours now…while on flu meds. Might need someone to look over this when I’m done.
• Once again managed to demostrate my abilities by showing big boss how to freeze and unfreeze panes in Excel 🙂
• My boss just admitted to me he’s addicted to Microsoft Excel.. Haha, Excel grocery lists and all.
• All the world’s raw data,And all the men and women merely pivot-tablers…William Spreadsheetspeare, "As you Excel it"
• My PhD is in making Excel charts, more or less.
• cos it couldnt have a pivot table! I’m a only a little bit of an excel geek,honest! (My old boss used to say I had a crush on it!)
• Today I wrote policy and made a spreadsheet to track in-kind donations. Nonprofit work is just so sexy sometimes.
• Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! F’n Excel! Ohh how I hate you! Sure wish I had ur older sister…Power Pivot! #pipedreams
• i love excel and all but not when i already have a headache and had to do the same worksheet twice…..;( #notfun
• See? an Excel spreadsheet makes a great alternative to a database… #wordsthatcanstartawar #WordsThatCanStartAGeekWar
• I’m also probably better on Microsoft Excel than him. Who needs to do duets with Rihanna + Nicki Minaj. I’m a Star of the Spreadsheet
• You know life is changing when u get excited about your #microsoft #excel doc with a vlookup table!! #nerdshavemorefun
• Watching my boss use Excel http://imgur.com/NSn4w
• Hey, Excel. Your "auto recover" spitting out a blank workbook without my data isn’t very helpful. I can’t work like this!
• Staring blankly at an excel spreadsheet like I will mon-fri for the rest of my life.
• I’m the excel master right now. So many pivot tables, so many formulas. All while the dulcet tones of Little River Band dance in my head
• Its working! Why does excel mess up one day and work perfectly the next day? Does a night’s sleep matter? #excel #walkenbach
• Took a pic of my boss’ whiteboard list w/ my #iPhone, emailed it to myself, & used it to update an excel spreadsheet. #ilovetechnology

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function

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What is your guilty secret? Do you find Excel spreadsheets aesthetically pleasing? What about spring themed spreadsheets?

• With a couple of key strokes a co-worker made everything on his spreadsheet disappear! He discovered the excel Dim Mak http://bit.ly/eK8HUx
• If only I knew how "ROUND", "SUM", "IF" "AND" and "ROW" made it work. And why my chart looks nothing like the example #excel #fail
• that CFO called a spreadsheet "aesthetically pleasing." either he doesn’t know what that means or actually thinks excel is lovely. #scary
• I’m making a spring themed excel spreadsheet. : )
• I started opening this pivot table six minutes ago.
• My work computer (the first PC I’ve used in a decade) just announced MS Excel was restarting. Interesting…Excel wasn’t open to begin with
• I’ve just seen a spreadsheet, of which appears to have images embedded in it, of excel spreadsheets.
• I need to find a reason to make a pivot table. #ExcelLoveAffair
• hey, but I got MS office pro for $10 thru my work! Having real Excel will make me happy. I tried Numbers and I was sad.
• Excel isn’t the only program out there that can produce charts, you know! 😉
• Sorting out who gets the next batch of robots. This spreadsheet has saved my ass!
• Just waiting for the person who is TRACKING things on the EXCEL spreadsheet to RETURN to her desk. *plays some music*
• Working from home has been a success today! Except this Excel work is going to drive me insane… #DoctorWhoMarathon
• Just deleted forty min worth of work on excel in error #timeforbed
• god that excel training was boring…and has given me a headache! i shall be dreaming about pie charts and the ‘IF’ function tonight…
• Dad just asked for an excel spreadsheet breaking down the costs of Grad Fair next week. #nerdalert
• I have a genuine love for Microsoft Excel…there you are.,my geeky guilty secret is out!
• I’ve busted into the Excel spreadsheet. Give me about 30 minutes and then send the dogs.

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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  Lots of Excel charting problems in yesterday’s tweets. Maybe a day on the ski slopes would help!

• There aren’t many jobs where you have a spreadsheet that says things like ‘I made a unicorn’, and ‘Giraffes can’t dance’. #Ihaveastrangejob
• I have just discovered Pivot tables in Excel. This day is comparable to the day I discovered mail merge.
• Shout out to the fella behind me: I know you’re peeping my tweeting activities. *opens an Excel spreadsheet*
• Spending whole day driveling over if spreadsheet cells should be red, yellow, or green. Mindless speculation.
• Guess what I get to do today? It’s a pivot table! Dammit! Why?! April 16, I’m setting excel on fire. It’s settled.
• Grinding my teeth over this stupid Excel thing… now my teeth hurt…
• #excel sucks! It auto converts some of my gene symbols to dates and I can’t format them back…grrr
• Negotiating my way down a choppy red ski slope is much more fun than negotiating a diabolical excel sheet. #FML
• If you are applying for a job as a comp bio professor its probably not a good idea to use excel to make graphs & pie charts. #rstats
• Sometimes the lack of creativity with charts/graphs in Excel is maddening. And by sometimes I mean always.
• And the sighing.. Hair pulling drama has begun..(Over some spreadsheet) its not even 9am yet!
• Mad I just wasted a good thirty minutes on Excel because I didn’t know the difference btwn a bar graph and a column chart.
• I’m bring a party hat made out of an Excel spreadsheet.
• My husband required the skills of the Excel Goddess. And she obliged. #Excel=pathtoenlightenment
• As a CS major, I used to make fun of ppl taking classes for Excel, but I’ve spent last 3 hrs trying to make a chart. Wish I’d taken a class.
• A couple more pivot tables and you’ll need to marry that Excel file. #WhiteCollarSmackdown
• Sometimes instead of fixing others mistakes it’s just easier to start from the beginning yourself. #Excel
• One Excel model built. Six to go. Is it time to go home yet? :s

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Data Entry Tips

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Some days you make rainbows in Excel, some days Excel makes you cry.  And remember, you don’t have to count things on the screen with your finger.

• While pointing at charts in excel I dully explained "this is what daddy does all day at work." Mags excitedly affirmed "You make rainbows!"
• well my excel spreadsheet won’t let me type in it. Says its not compatible. So I forfeit
• Now that Excel allows over 65,536 rows, I regularly use over 100,000. And that I love. 65,536 was a serious constraint.
• I am making a Gantt Chart in Excel. Someone stop me.
• How sick is it that I had a good day today because the majority if my work day was excel modeling or talking about excel modeling? #nerd
• Whoever invented pivot table.. THANK YOU! U just made my data extraction easier. *big kiss*
• So in Excel speak COUNT((RON(ANGER)) + COUNT((EXCEL(WORK)) = HATE(infinity)
• Dear @Microsoft, You owe me (1) hour for the work I lost when Excel crashed for the third time today.
• Gotta love working formulas on excel all morning. =vlookup(carlisbored$1203)
• today i successfully installed a macro (not a lolcat, an actual code whatsis) & learned me some new excel formula
• An excel spreadsheet just made me cry.
• I wish I knew how to use excel better. I know I shouldn’t be counting things with my finger on the screen. I also know it can draw charts.
• Dear excel~ Pls don’t hang… I did not save my work…
• Wizards have wands. Fortune tellers have crystal balls. I have Pivot Tables. #bloody #hell #iheart #excel
• I’m hours into trying to get a client’s vital, missing, Excel spreadsheet back. Since the user was storing all his files locally… yeah.
• Learning more about MS #Excel than I’d like to right now.
• Wishing Excel would just read my mind instead of making me try to learn how pivot tables work…
• On excel news, managed to sort out the commission spreadsheet in around 5 minutes. Apparently its taken IT 2 weeks not to sort it out. Haha!

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function

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Sure, Excel can be slower than a 2-thumb BlackBerry tweet, but if you’re spending 4498748 hours on homework, there might be a problem!

• I just use a spreadsheet, personally I use open office but if you’re posh you might have Excel already?
• Perhaps someday I’ll be proficient enough with Oracle analytic functions that I won’t have to rely upon Excel pivot tables…
• Ive been on this same Excel homework problem for like 4498748 hours lol I hate this crap, I dont need to learn it..Ill pay someone to.
• #excel. you’re too complicated for me ;|
• It’s monday morning I got to work in 7 mins and get to start a new Spreadsheet – it doesnt get much better than that ! ( I assume )
• Overwhelmed with the decisions to be made and the constraints for each. My life should not require a spreadsheet.
• I have no life. my work life consists of my computer screen and excel spreadsheets. no love. 🙁
• My spreadsheet is so big, that changing autofilter from "custom" to "all" takes longer than a 2-thumb blackberry tweet. About 10x longer #fb
• Putting together a spreadsheet of potential new residences. Distance from @Wegmans has its own column… What?
• Once more into the Excel spreadsheet – 6 features, 3 countries, 4 weeks, 4 flights, 4 trains, 1 driver, countless hotels and taxis #Asia
• I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of creating a #PivotTable in #Excel and watching patterns emerge #DataIsCool
• You can fill #Excel with groceries, but can you get it to drive to the store and buy them? http://bit.ly/fvLDQJ
• Oh Excel, you are so important, yet deep down inside I hate you passionately.
• I just created an excel spreadsheet for my blog to help me keep track of posting on a regular basis. #blog
• Project burn down tables and charts done using Excel data connection to SQL Server and my number one favourite formula SUMPRODUCT #calvis
• Can’t open an excel file because it is being used by a user…. which was actually me (according to excel). *rage* #FML
• Made an Excel spreadsheet that, when names and scores per turn are input, will output Total and Average Score per player. Dork win!

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Filters

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Today is Family Day, and people are spending time with their moms and Excel. Everything should go well, if they save frequently, and avoid pie charts.

• And I’ve used the first hour of my #Sunday laying out some sexy new #Excel spreadsheets for my #personalfinances.
• it’s nuts, doing some excel work on sunday. But I’m doing it :p
• Why do data entry companies love Excel so much? I’m looking for a company who works with Lotus Notes.
• I want "I am number 4" to fail bcse I can’t stand James Frey and bcse it was so blatantly created like a macro in Excel.
• Awesome, I’m in class & I just learned in excel how to find out my exact birthday. I was born on a Tuesday! Must be why i love Tuesdays..
• Why oh why is it so difficult to just draw a straight vertical line on an excel chart?
• Spent the day doing my budget. Spreadsheet is pretty! *pats self on back* If only difference between Income & Expenditure was smaller… 🙁
• Im high on relief! managed to recover a whole days work after not saving my excel file properly. Please have a beer with me to celebrate!
• Work? Work! Work?! I feel like an excell spreadsheet and look like a word document…
• dreamt the universe was an excel spreadsheet.
• Somebody doesn’t know how to do their math… and I’m betting it’s not the formula driven Excel sheet. #work
• Oh, Excel, why did I think that not saving you constantly wouldn’t result in crashing, lost work, and tears
• No one can help with this excel problem i’m having?? I’m trying to finish this project in an hour
• My mom just tried to steal my spreadsheet. FUNNY. I worked too hard on that.
• Who said ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks’? They got it wrong in any case – have mastered iPod synching & excel pie charts!
• Stupid excel, JUST MAKE A GRAPH I WANT
• My mom just explained excel spreadsheet as ‘Exciting’ lol I don’t think that’s possible 🙂
• I asked my mom to help me with excel hw, not complain about how the manager in the theoretical problem is "Jon" & the housekeeper is "she"
• Should probably do something about this homework situation. Anybody know how to make Excel work by using only your mind?

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel VBA
• Excel Functions

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Six hours without Excel? Need to stay calm. How would you get through the day, without doing magical things in a spreadsheet?

• A pivot table is a heavyweight tool used to aggregate, summarize and join tabular data for people who can’t spell SQL.
• I like my new desk at work, now I can look out of the window at a traffic light. It’ll be like an all-day rave but with Excel.
• Now entering spreadsheet hell. Population: 1
• just created my first Pivot Table!!! I thought I went into Communications & Marketing so I wouldn’t have to do this.
• Excel is so smart it can subtract two numbers and put the result in the same format and so stupid it changes 37 days to Feb 6,1900.
• I just did something magical in Excel but then my workbook mysteriously disappeared…
• It’s been kinda math heavy this morning. Bond pricing and #VBA #Excel. Is it home time yet?
• Doing taxes and accidentally put in 4 xtra digits on an income line in homemade tax spreadsheet . Taxes up lots. But I’d take that deal.
• My love for the pencil & eraser feature on Microsoft Excel probably sums up my entire personality.
• I HATE copying #Excel charts in #Word. It NEVER works. – Need to stay calm –
• Dear Excel, I missed you the past 6hrs w/o my spreadsheet my world was at a standstill. I lost track of time money passwords & mostly myself
• Although not Excel’s biggest fan, the fact i colour code it to oblivion brightens an afternoon with excel on the screen. Excelling at Excel?
• I merged multiple data sources into one pivot. i am KING OF THE EXCEL!
• you got to trust me, cutting cardboard is way better than doing and formatting pivot tables in excel with more than 2500 entries
• Man, I love vlookup #Excel #MakesLifeSoMuchEasier
• I love teaching myself how to do new things in excel. I excel at excel.
• Is there an #iPhone app to edit #excel files?
• Making an excel sheet while listening to the Rocky theme. Way to feel like a boss.

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function

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Have you ever been bored enough to start reading the Excel help files? Or do you resort to gin when the going gets tough?

• OH: I didn’t fall in love with you, I fell in love with your spreadsheet.
• Oh man, I’m getting old. Can’t read the small print on excel spreadsheet. 🙁
• Implausibly and embarrassingly excited to final discover how to mix charttypes in excel…. #sadandproud
• Dear Statistics professors: If you’re going to assign complex graph projects, please train your students in basic Excel. Love, the Help Desk
• I know what a Pivot Table is. Let me just say they are no fun. Good luck with Excel. Cheers.
• Gin, gin, thesis chapters, gin, gin, gin, thesis, gin, thesis, gin gin complicated excel spreadsheet, ginny gin gin.
• Excel training = super boring. Do I need to make a pivot table? Negative. I’d like to color the charts again please.
• Trying to make one simple bar graph in Excel and I’m ready to burst into tears of frustration. I is stupid at the numbers.
• For the first time I’ve created spreadsheet so crazy, I’m forced to use the "manual" calculation option. Otherwise, it just hangs. #Excel
• Yea now I know I got OCD. I just saved this spreadsheet like 5 times w/o changing a thing. Smh
• Spreadsheet woozy yet again. Staying up til 3 probably doesn’t help. #excel #grumpy
• My boss, to me, today: "Keep this sheet for yourself, I already have mine". Yes, Excel sheet.
• I use an excel spreadsheet with 2 passwords of It’s own to open2keep them all secure. One day I’ll be locked out of my own life
• Just heard my boss’s boss ask for ‘unconditional formats’ to be added into an excel sheet. Unfortunately she didn’t get a witty retort.
• I think everything that could possibly break in this spreadsheet did so. Back into an @arcadefire and Excel work coma.
• I absolutely despise Excel when it can’t understand what I’m trying to do.
• Everyone at work makes fun of me for getting excited about Excel and pie charts.
• After working with software for more than 10 years, I found it amazing that Excel is still the best software i work with!!
• Today at work we had an hour meeting about color coded excel spreadsheets.
• So bored at work I’ve started reading Excel help files. Actually learnt something useful. Shocking I know

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Conditional Formatting

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Yes, you can sort by colour in Excel now, but in exchange, the chart features are worse, and the macros are stupid. But life in Excel is never dull!

• Excel took away "I can’t sort on yellow" as a way to scold bad spreadsheet design. On the plus(?) side, I can sort by yellow cells.
• I love excel because you can do cool things -gosh my math teacher is a nerd.
• there is nothing sexier, nor more rock’n’roll than a spreadsheet. #whatwouldIknow?
• I think I just broke excel with the mother of all pivot tables
• Have spent most of yesterday and today building Excel templates to chart responses of Volunteer Surveys. Who said my life was dull? :-/
• Neata! Learning about Excel pivot tables first thing in the morning. :))
• watching my boss trying to work with excel is pretty close to torture.
• I broke Excel 2003 so badly yesterday, I had to reinstall it. After the fix, my routine built a chart in <2 sec. Before: 15 minutes.
• I actually love excel! I use it all the time for keeping my personal records 🙂 I just forget sometimes this one function.
• Just spent 2 hours on an excel project only to save over it with a blank worksheet. Good one.
• WTH happened to charts in Excel 2010. It would be quicker to draw this stuff. <headdesk><knifeartery>
• Excel …don’t you just hate it? I’m constantly having to create spreadsheets at work w/ it.
• I love Excel. Use it all the time at work. It’s a pain at first, but once you start making it work for you, it’s awesome.
• Give me a pivot table big enough and a spreadsheet on which to run it, and I shall move the world.
• I really dislike Excel. Why does this budget worksheet hate me so much?! Why won’t the formulas work?! (Don’t say "user error", lol)
• If excel would just work today might be okay. Stupid macros.
• Ha I’ve just worked out something (very simple) on excel – tomorrow I shall be kicking spreadsheet butt #justsaying
• It s when Excel doesn’t work that you figure out its usefulness! #IsaythatIsaynothing
• I LOVE tax time! finally, all my excel spreadsheets, receipt saving, and accounting, DONE! (p.s. i’m very aware of my nerdiness 🙂

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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Wow! That pie chart really is ugly. I wonder if they made anything that hideous in Lotus 1-2-3.

• Excel makes really pretty graphs. Seriously, the pie charts are breathtaking. God, I’m lame.
• Just been saved about an hours worth of work,YES EXCEL ROCKS…I didn’t think i’d ever say that!!!x
• Oh my GOD I hate excel. Why is there no damn easy button to creating charts and graphs? Or am I just a hopeless data moron?
• Nice my homework was a lot easier thanks to Excel doc that we were allowed to use..love that! Wish I could do that on the test tho..
• Take that, Excel — ABC’s Jonathan Karl tries to explain the federal budget using the world’s ugliest 3D pie chart http://j.mp/e0AIQc
• Yeah I’m tired as hell, but I just made one sexy excel spreadsheet.
• even today it is still amazingly easy to stun people with the 2010 Conditional Formatting features.
• a big thank you for the that fantasy comp i played in that you run, i learnt Excel formulas that have be very helpful with work.
• Have you used VLOOKUP or made a pivot table yet?
• Been alive for 6161 days 🙂 I love Microsoft Excel 😀
• Nothing like conquering a 7321 x 20 spreadsheet to make me feel like I accomplished something today.
• I just fixed my husband’s Excel problem with a formula I learned in Lotus 1-2-3. Some spreadsheets never go out of style. #nerdery
• Found a way to simplify our Excel calculations by using pivot tables… Only no one here has ever heard of pivot tables… Oy!
• statistics are a myth created by the spreadsheet maniacs. in reality no numbers exist at all… #madeupfacts
• Just discovered QUERY and IMPORTRANGE in Google Spreadsheet – I am in Love!! What a function! Watch out Excel Pivot you are in trouble now!
• More Excel lessons tomorrow. IF formulas, Vlookups and Pivot tables – am I the only one who loves these?
• I would tweet that I can’t sleep because I just had a coffee drink but then someone might ask if I looked over that spreadsheet they sent.
• Oh lovely a project plan timeline chart done entirely by highlighting cells in Excel. Wonder how it scales 😉

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function

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There was a lot of love for Excel in yesterday’s Valentine tweets. And a few people who didn’t seem to love Excel too much. The rum raisin ice cream should help, or a spreadsheet full of cocktails.

• I’ll be listening to Michael Buble for the rest of the night… he’s my valentine.. him, my mac and this expense input spreadsheet! #nice
• I don’t care what anyone thinks any more…I love excel spreadsheets! There I said it.
• maaaaaannn..it took me about a month to complete this spreadsheet project…just for them to turnaround and want me to add more to it :-\
• It’s #excel day today. Taking a break from making presentations. What exactly was my job profile when I joined this company? 😛
• Sometimes you just gotta learn to say no 😉 #VBA #Excel
• Thanks excel for ruining an entire hours worth of work in a mere second… fantastic day already
• Night class after four hours of excel work is literally sucking the life out of me.
• If it’s the last thing I do today, I’m going to remember how to use this IF-THEN formula on #excel. I’m going to get it
• Anyone know how I an default my pivot table data to Sum rather than Count? #tweetsthatwilllosefollowersquickly
• I could maybe not be more proud of anything right now than I am of this Excel spreadsheet I just created. #iamanerd
• Seriously considering signing up for an Excel financial modeling class. On a Saturday. This is truly a new low in my geek-dom.
• I miss Rum Raisin Ice Cream & Milk Shake. Next time ,working w/ this super torturing Excel Workbook should be accompanied by one of those ?
• Management Tip of the Day: There is no spreadsheet that cannot be made to tell the lie you want.
• Auditor: oh excel, I love you. You can count difficult numbers by yourself. So independent. So sexy.
• the debate about the budget makes me think our politicians never learned excel b/c simple accounting would be a major problem solver here.
• Consolidated to-do lists into #excel list sortable by type, priority, deadline, description haha. Why didnt I think of this before haha #in
• Dear @Microsoft Please return print production people to your #Excel team. Default 3D finishes on graphs look like printing errors
• You should make a spreadsheet of all the cocktails you drink.

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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Happy Valentine’s Day! Some tweeters spent a romantic weekend with Excel, and others seem to be falling out of love with spreadsheets.

• Just created an excel function to calculate how many Diet Mt. Dew I drink based on how many hours I work that day. Beat that.
• I am a Pivot Table GOD! (and Prince of VLOOKUP)
• just spent over an hour inputting 40 questionnaires into excel.. it is mind numbingly boring #fml
• At both work and home, Excel is at the top of my Start Menu. I’m not sure what that says about me, but I’m not sure I like it.
• I spent a good few hours making a solid Excel accounting spreadsheet. Went to try it on Mac and macros aren’t supported. :-((
• Reading this spreadsheet is bumming me out more than Tess of the D’Urbivilles did. £350 into a financial black hole.
• I woke up in a fantastic mood but the longer I stay indoors staring at this excel spreadsheet the worse I feel 🙁
• I busted my ass compiling data for this giant master spreadsheet for two days. My boss’s response? "I like the pastel colors." Eff off.
• I’m so fed up with Microsoft Excel! Stupid macros.. Stupid VBs!
• Lady on my team just whipped out an Excel spreadsheet with over 20,000 lines! Not to mention the pivot tables and such… #gasp
• My boss calls me into his office just so I can show him some shortcuts for Microsoft Excel. I find this so funny.
• Doing work on a saturday yet again. Excel charts are becoming a lifestyle staple.
• There aren’t enough hours in the day to work out Excel macros.
• I need to step my Excel game up in a major way. Advice?
• Telling potential MBA programs that my greatest career achievement is a series of Excel pivot tables is extremely depressing, humbling.
• Evening dreamin’ about waking up w/o an alarm tomorrow. And not touching a powerpoint or spreadsheet all day long.
• After 1.5 yrs of tasting beers on a regular basis, finally entering everything into a spreadsheet. Learning "meh" is not a tasting note.
• but most (all?) of those spreadsheet horrors were human error … can’t blame Excel and friends for that … even if I want to.
• Dear pivot table, no offense but I’m not sure I like u right now!

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Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel VBA

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Which would you rather find in your Excel spreadsheet? A rainbow or a burger? Of course, either of those would be better than that spinning beach ball!

• when in doubt create a spreadsheet with rainbows and glitter
• Dear Excel: how long until you turn off the spinning beach ball, and totally crash my work from the last hour?
• Currently sitting in an #excel tutorial. I know it’s good for me but that doesn’t mean it’s not torture.
• Headache! This stupid Microsoft Excel is way harder than I thought.
• wow am i really understanding #excel rite now? :O ohmagod
• watching the snow at my office melt while working on a spreadsheet…
• Designing a new spreadsheet while I wait for the pizza to arrive :)) #FridayNightFun
• as i was going through my spreadsheet, i realized that i had a lot of love songs… :/
• It’s not that my colleague’s running commentary of his Excel spreadsheet isn’t fascinating, it’s just that I’m going to kill him.
• you read my mind. What exactly is Excel doing for that first 20s after you open a spreadsheet?
• I love how mom-boss says "I need three computers to view this Excel table, it’s so wide" BRING HER MOAR COMPUTERS.
• If you dont even know whats a pivot table, you are not an advanced Excel user, in fact you are not even an Excel user at all …
• I’ve noticed most teachers of online classes aren’t very comp savvy..My excel teacher could not get the printer to work for final
• My laptop has developed a life of its own+has decided not to allow me to work in #Excel-I can’t select any cell, it insists on selecting all
• VLOOKUP to the rescue! #Excel #IAmANerd
• I have a burger stuck in the middle of my spreadsheet and I can’t get rid of it. This is hilarious but not funny on deadline!
• Doing something so tedious (spreadsheet) I’m not sure it’s humanly possible.

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Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel Tips and Tutorials

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After reading today’s Excel tweets, you’ll be able to talk to your professional pie charts in Hawaiian. Sorry, the Morse code translator isn’t ready yet.

• At work just now: *mumble mumble* "Pardon?" "Oh sorry, I was talking to this Excel chart" "Riiiiiight…"
• Can’t believe how much of an excel geek I am! If I could only work out the formula for life….
• I’m color-coding rows in a spreadsheet. Even creepier is that I like it.What’s next, cleaning up my desktop? Matching my socks? #gatewaydrug
• Just created the most complex pie chart that Excel has ever seen, Looks like a bullet wound in the centre of my laptop screen…
• I can code websites, and I understand calculus and physics, but I can’t get the NOW function to work in Excel.
• Excel is not behaving today. Why do you give me the option of pretty pivot charts if they only make you freeze?
• Work is feeling a bit like groundhogday lately. I blame Excel.
• I have to admit that adjusting existing charts and diagrams was much easier in Excel than it is in Numbers.
• Quickly create a professional pie-chart in #Microsoft #Excel 20007/2010: http://goo.gl/R90YE
• So I arrive back at the parent’s place after weeks away, first comment from Mum "glad you’re here, I have a problem with Excel".
• Todays downtime is to be spent writing a morse code translator in Excel.
• Brain hurts: just wrote #Excel function with 6 nested IFs, 6 VLOOKUPs, 10 INDEX and MATCHES and 4 dyanmic ranges. Ouch. It works, though!
• Why on earth I’ve waited this long to convert my #photography #invoice to an #Excel document, I’ll never know.
• The one who creates an Excel spreadsheet is the only one who knows what’s going on in it. #facts. I’m dealing w/ 8 proofs of this right now!
• Ok I thought I knew ever function in excel but VLOOKUP is the enemy I can’t get it to work.
• I just had to reboot for the second time this year. Stupid Excel was the cause both times. #MacLove.
• you’re not going to get black lung from an excel spreadsheet
• Triangulation 4: Bob Frankston – Computer pioneer who helped create the first spreadsheet, Bob Frankston, is this we… http://ow.ly/1bgq0G
• Hawaiian word of the day: kela (kay-lah) = Excelling, exceeding, projecting beyond, reaching high above; to excel. #H50

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function

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No one told me that if you just kept track of all the feedings, and other baby activities, in a spreadsheet, you could take the baby back, after one week. Oh well, it’s too late now!

• Predicament: I need help with a pivot table in excel, but I’m too proud to ask any of the smug jerks who might know the answer. #imaleo
• My kingdom for a poxy spreadsheet! #anythingexceptaflippingPPT
• Best profile I’ve seen in a while… I’m just a girl, sitting in front of a spreadsheet, asking it for insights.
• My boss thinks I’m concentrating intensely on this excel spreadsheet but I’m really playing family feud on games.com. #badass
• My Dad needed Excel help. He was so impressed I knew how to sum cells on two different work sheets onto a third sheet #awww #measure #Excel
• I see spreadsheets as a way to hold data; I’ve come across some that think that Excel workbook is a canvas in which to attempt colorful art
• We’ll see how successful I am. I just need to make small spreadsheet thingy. #convincedIcandoitnosweat #probablydelusional
• Not that I don’t love Excel spreadsheets, mind you. They pretty much make life worth living. (What’s the formula for sarcasm?)
• Combining array based formulas and the indirect function together in #Excel creates a mutant super-awesome spreadsheet #win
• In scientific papers, we must avoid fancy 3D #Excel plots. They are distracting and confusing #FOSS #RStats
• I LOVE math. Excel is just a frustrating system hog that’s got a terrible user interface
• Spent almost two weeks designing this massive spreadsheet. Actually had a butterfly or two as I started populating it today. Live the dream.
• I have a significant amount of work to complete.I am spending my time colouring-in cells in Microsoft Excel to make pictures of faces.
• Hope things are looking up! Is there a light at the end of the excel spreadsheet?
• The most exhausting task ever is to work on an 8 Excel sheets straight from 9 to 5. Funny that I aint done yet :/
• yay, I learned a thing about excel today!! yay, literally nobody cares #fml #fwp
• Spreadsheet tracks feedings, burps, spit-ups, wet and dirty diapers. As well as sleep, awake, & fussy periods. — I take her back in 1 week.
• I do love PPT.. but, when Excel meets PPT, it means disaster..

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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Apparently, yesterday was Excel Tuesday, and people were celebrating with cake pops and wasabi peas. But the beer garden sounds even better!

• Phone rang. At this time of night, options are: death in the family or DH’s parents have a computer problem. MIL hopelessly lost in Excel.
• If I close my eyes hard enough, I’m in the beer garden at the flask in Highgate, not staring at an excel spreadsheet….
• starting Excel 2010 to do math is quicker than opening Windows Calculator :/
• Microsoft Excel. How I just enjoy you. I’m not the cleanest user nor sort things properly, but love a good formula or 3…
• Stayed in w/plans on catching up on 9-5 work. Instead, spent the night doing a spreadsheet related to cake pops. Never thought I’d say that!
• God and damnit together, is it STILL Tuesday?! Is anyone else stuck in this spreadsheet-infested time lock, or am I the only punished soul?
• Hours of being my parents’ personal hotline paid off… Today I successfully helped my boss with an Excel graph over the phone
• done something stupid 2day showed sales manager how 2 use excel to price increase 1000’s of products, now i will get calls about excel probs
• Sometimes pivot tables and excel functions make me more excited than any boy could. Reason #817943371974197 I’m single.
• Wow! #Excel rocks if u know what u’re doing. I just replaced years of SUM & selecting cells based on other cell with: =SUMIF(I:I,"*FC*",K:K)
• Made a joke about PPT clip art animations while mocking a coworkers Excel pivot table skills. I’m ON FIRE today!
• Work without panic and adrenaline is sort of just… work. Quick, somebody call me with an emergency that can only be solved with Excel!
• Just finishd biggest spreadsheet of my life. Seeing in squares. Getting withdrawal from Excel in some perverse variant of Stockholm syndrome
• What kind if crack was I on? I thought an all day seminar in Microsoft excel would be fun?!? Jeez Louise… I wish I was at work!
• It’s Excel Tuesday!! It’s a bit like Powerpoint Monday but with less pictures and more numbers. #excel
• Watching big love and chompin wasabi peas while slaving over excel sheets after a successful night @ #MMBC #boulder. I’m a #HAPPYgirl
• Just about to leave work in shame excel beat me. Despite writing what should be the perfect formula it fails to work. 🙁
• Finally finished, well at least with the charts. Excel we will do battle again this semester Im confident of that.
• To solve your problem with excel. Buy a #mac and never use excel

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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Does Bach help with your spreadsheets? Maybe it soothes your head if you have a hangover, or no idea how to work Excel.

• the next two days are gonna be hell… I have absolutely NO idea how to work Excel
• Excel – how to create income and outcome pie chart?
• I’m at work, in a windowless room, working on excel. My husband is in Paris CDG airport, chilling with an A380 pilot. I sigh. #fb
• My countif didn’t work because there was a spelling mistake in the data I was given. #Solved #Excel #Spreadsheets
• trying to remember all the Excel functions for a spreadsheet I am building – mind distracted by Rugby though, maybe time to give up….
• I’m scared that I’ll turn to stone if I stare at this Excel spreadsheet much longer #excelhell
• Listening to Bach works wonders if you have loads of Excel work
• can’t believe after doing all those excel charts last semester they want us to still do the excel practice hw for 212.
• Do you think they’d accept a pretty graph drawn with crayons since I can’t for the life of me get this bloody formula to work in excel?!?!
• I am learning how to use Pivot Tables in Excel with data I generated about Pokemon. I am awesome. Listed by type? Region? Level? Oh yeah.
• its a shame i dont write anymore, but my muse left me for forever while working with too much excel sheets at work…
• Data geek’s pivot table says plays to the right have gained 91 net yards. Plays up the middle, 76. Left, 30. Not counting kicks.
• just realised….my life has become totally about #excel sheets…watever happened to my love affair with #ppts
• I am using Excel to keep track of available love interests! This involves math!
• *creeps up on spreadsheet**pounces**does battle*WINS!!
• Creating an excel spreadsheet before dinner…only 20 mins to go!! Mulligatawny soup…scrummy!!
• Good morning, This is the London Finance team, Grant, Adam and Bryn looking forward to a week of hot spreadsheet action. OH YEAH! #hungover

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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Do you use Sparklines in Excel 2010? You probably won’t need them if you’re using Excel to compare pizza dough recipes, but they might be useful if you’re playing God.

• geeking out over pivot tables in excel – now if only my data was clean 🙁
• I love excel. The nice neat columns, the magical formulae, putting chaos into order. It’s like playing God for OCDs
• Scotch-taping excel spreadsheet together, can’t figure out how 2 make it fit on 1 pg. Modern neanderthal?"
• AAAArgh why is Excel so BAD at making charts? surely that’s half the point of the stupid thing? #assignmentrage
• Using #Excel 2010 – I thought I’d love #sparklines, but I haven’t found a situation in which that small amt of info is really useful.
• sometimes i just open excel and stare at the blank worksheet…
• Man, I just love Sparklines. This morning, I set up a dashboard of 33 sparklines in Excel 2010. Great feature.
• dad is in the office yelling at excel, im in the kitchen yeling at the kitchen in general.
• My Saturday night excitement is re-orienting spreadsheet data from vertical to horizontal #livingthehighlife
• Today’s battle with Excel: why do you think 0 is a number I want you to count in the total of something in a pivot table? It. Is. 0. Die.
• i seriously hate excel. and i hate data too -_- i don’t see why we need to analysis the stupid data.
• Oh man, I just realized that I’m using excel to generate code.
• Things like truth, honor, work ethic and integrity mean nothing on an Excel spreadsheet. http://bit.ly/eGLmYn And it was published.
• A5… miss, B7… miss, A1…you sunk my pivot table!
• Wasn’t madly in love with the Daft Punk Tron soundtrack at first. But must admit it adds an epic-scale intensity to this Excel spreadsheet.
• I’m not the only one with a spreadsheet comparing different pizza dough recipes, and formulas for scaling them, am I?
• I really, really hate excel 2007. The simplest little thing my boss wants me to change takes a whole hour of googling to find a work around.

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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That’s an interesting question — how long would it take to learn all of Excel? Would belly dance music make the process faster or slower?

• I love when business dude types work on excel in the coffee shop with a big old note pad next to them. You can’t take notes on a computer.
• Problem with iTunes is that it doesn’t have enough features. It’s functionality-starved. I’m writing a macro to play audio from Excel.
• Found my limit in Excel charts. Variable width stacked columns. Can do it (Google fu) but not so that someone else can maintain it easily.
• I never thought I’d see the day where I’m pissed that Excel will only let me plot 32,000 points on a chart. #GrowingUp
• I call it Excel Abuse – we rely too much on Excel, it’s a spreadsheet program not analytical software, not a vacation request form, not…
• Alabina (mix of arabic & spanish) belly dance music making editing this spreadsheet bareable!!
• Another day of clicking away at a spreadsheet. Is it bad I look forward to my team meeting to break up my day?
• Another day another re-write of my Excel code as the customer moves the goalposts
• I’m sorry all my tweets have been about work and Excel this week. I’ve probably spoilt twitter for everyone haven’t i?
• The point where you are making Excel based ‘jokes’ on Twitter is the point where one should stop work for the weekend. Down tools, everyone!
• One thing I’ve learned from Vague Job Assignment is I seem to actually *like* making charts in excel. Yes, that was fun. #Dilbertesque
• I haven’t tried numbers. I may have to bc excel crashes on charts. Hard to teach 8th graders that way.
• ahhhhh! I don’t know where the spreadsheet is and I missed the meeting. I am a terrible person.
• My boss just called me a ‘hero’ for helping her with excel. That word gets thrown around way too much…
• one boss LOVES excel, the other one is good at BS, that sounds about right.
• making a cost spreadsheet for my wedding. my professor would be very proud. ; )
• I love how I solved this morning’s multi-party angst just by adding two columns to an excel spreadsheet 🙂
• If pivot table training takes 4 1/2 hours, how long would it take to learn all of excel?

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

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Some people stayed home this week, because of the ice and snow. Others bravely (and bitterly) struggled through the elements, to get to their Excel spreadsheets.

• Spreadsheet and more spreadsheets…I don’t remember a world before #Excel.
• Just spent 10 minutes trying to change a date on my spreadsheet to 31st February 2011…. Was getting very frustrated until I realised….
• HOW DID I EVER LIVE WITHOUT PIVOT TABLES?! (Ok, seriously that was the last pivot table tweet for today. Or maybe ever. Probably ever.)
• I made a spreadsheet sing and dance to impress my boss. Now it takes FOREVER to update!
• I wish I had invented Excel so I would know how to do everything in it. That includes Pivot Tables!
• If you’d like, I’ll explain the spreadsheet I’ll be building tomorrow. That should put you yo sleep. 🙂
• I totally just dominated 48,000 rows of data. I know what you’re thinking: "Hey cool guy!" #geek #spreadsheet #excel
• I love #Microsoft #Excel, but not enjoying cleaning up a database for client mailing. Oh-well. Time for #Pandora, thinking 80s.
• actually had to go on ‘kids zone’ to make a chart instead of excel. the shame.
• I don’t get it why the developers of #Excel gray out the subtotal functionality when data is formatted as Table. This sucks!Make it go away!
• Microsoft should consider calling Excel "Extreme Fail" instead. I can’t think of a possible way for a spreadsheet to work LESS well.
• Excel sheets because some of us aren’t little babies and went to work. #snowdayreads #bitterenvy
• I didn’t realize it at the time, but Excel was where I started programming. I did it because I was lazy and reports are tedious.
• I hear ya! We are having rolling blackouts here. We are iced in & it sucks. But they still need that spreadsheet from me : (
• TIP: to make a super-fast chart in #Excel highlight the columns you want, then hit F11. I’m not sure how to make a chart the normal way…
• Workplace woos… When a formula in a spreadsheet you’ve circulated for months now is wrong 🙁
• NEW: Excel-lent: The Championship in graphs and charts: http://bit.ly/gnTB5C
• Today I am king of Excel. Spreadsheet formulae look at my terrifying visage and tremble. All shall love me and despair! #OddTolkienReference

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

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That professor should not waste everyone’s time by teaching Excel formatting. Obviously, that time would be better spent on a spelling review, or MySQL.

• Stupid Excel! It’s going to take me one whole day to figure out how to create a pie chart with so much statistics!
• Congratulations! my professor just taught me how to format an Excel spreadsheet… and I thought this class couldn’t get any more rediculous
• Why does my teacher take 10 mins to do a 1min problem?? He spent over half the class trying to open up excel
• (and for those wondering, if I could marry any Excel feature, it would be either pivot tables, or spark lines)
• I like to color-code Excel spreadsheets. It’s my way of saying, "I don’t like your information, but I will make it look pretty."
• You’re way better in excel math than I am! my boss just told me. 🙂
• Never try to impress a lady with pivot table!
• Every time I type "VLOOKUP" I get all giddy inside, like remembering when my first child was born. #excel
• Hearty dose of Excel today. A workbook powered by a sheet of variable assumptions is a thing of beauty.
• I like making Excel spreadsheets. It is easy and I like this type of work. [:
• Dear excel: I win. Sincerely, me. #TheFormulaIsLongerThanThisTweet #Winnaaah
• Thank god for YouTube excel teaching videos. That is all I will say, but now I can Spreadsheet and I love it!
• Attention #Microsoft: The Icons for Publisher and Excel are far too similar. Also, who uses publisher?
• the thought of having to input all my boss’ out of order crap on an excel sheet makes ME weep.
• love reviewing excel before presentation and realizing numbers don’t tie out. possible all nighter tonight. booooooo.
• Got a guy at work that uses Excel for everything. Documents. Drawings. Scripting. EVERYTHING. Makes my insides itchy.
• It’s pretty much a given that you need to learn MySQL if you want to work in marketing or business analysis. Excel isn’t good enough anymore
• Getting up for work would be much easier if I didn’t know that I’d be staring at Excel for 8 hours straight.

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function

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Happy Groundhog Day! And no, this isn’t the same Excel Twitter list that I posted yesterday. But, even though I know what day it is, I still have trouble typing 2011. Glad to know that it’s not just me!

• whenever i have to make an excel i just want to email my boss and ask why she hates me so much.
• Head buried in an Excel worksheet at the moment! Work legacy ver 2002! home ver 2010 ahhh, no contest! Need to work from home 🙂 #work
• QOTY:Don’t try to part the people from their Excel.It is crack. Stand between them and their problem and they will destroy you.
• Making an Excel spreadsheet of concerts I attended during college seemed super OCD in 2002, but it’s quite helpful nowadays.
• Holy crap! I just used a pivot table in Excel in a *real* situation! I didn’t know they could actually be useful.
• This excel workbook is my masterpiece, my baby
• I think it’s stupid that it takes longer to save an Excel file than it does to send messages back and forth to England.
• Spent all morning updating a spreadsheet dating it as 2010. Spent all afternoon correcting said spreadsheet. Welcome to 2011 klee.
• Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on in that spreadsheet ?
• Can’t. Look. At. Any. More. Stats. Excel and pivot tables have fried my brain…
• I seem trapped in my own personal pivot table hell.
• Note to self – don’t name an excel file something stupid, delete it and then for the first time in month empty the trash. #3hourswasted
• #Excel has been around how long and still doesn’t have a DaysInMonth() function? #ColdFusion, you spoil me.
• Shocking! Excel 2003 pie chart – Good thing we are at a BI Summit. #gartnerbi http://twitpic.com/3v3xsf
• I was just introduced to Pivot Tables on Excel ….it’s like the heavens parted….so amazing
• Day dreaming about a Caribbean vacation but all I see is an excel spreadsheet-sad day
• Good riddance to Excel pivot tables http://r-ecology.blogspot.com/2011/01/good-riddance-to-excel-pivot-tables.html
• I think my excel spreadsheet just made my eye sight worser. (Is worser a word?) Excel may have also made me dumber as well. #fb

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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If you’re heading for the red carpet, you might want to use the Excel Weight Loss Tracker for a couple of weeks, so you’ll look your best. Meanwhile, I’ll be at home, messing around with the numbers.

• This song is dedicated to Access and Excel, "why do you have to make things so complicated!"
• Spent about an hour and a half creating an Excel spreadsheet to figure handicaps for husband’s archery league. It works. I rock.
• We made a huge chart in Excel and messed around with the numbers there until we got it right. LOL
• Dear boss, kindly understand tht it takes time to shift frm operations to systems to excel sheets to followup emails!Pliss to have patience
• Was just reminded that when you delete a tab in a workbook you can’t undo it, no matter what. Oh Excel…
• I should be on a Red Carpet right now not sitting in front of a computer looking at an excel spreadsheet…one day ..
• No shifty worksheets with #Excel INDIRECT function http://goo.gl/5XtZd
• Don’t think anything in homo sapiens’ evolution really prepared us for staring at a spreadsheet all day. Eyes say ouch.
• I usually love Excel. Today, not so much. *sigh*
• Excel 2007 charts suck. Office 2007 is broken. Open office is faster to get work done.
• On Wednesday, I’m going to start keeping a chart of my weight loss. In Microsoft Excel.
• #BBCFootball I’ve got BBC, Sky, twitter and excel open … Excel just in case my boss makes a surprise visit
• Nesting is such a nice word. There aren’t many words that are so cozy in Excel. And so algebraic. #excel #algebra #functions
• haha, i dont think the massive excel sheets i work with would cope with a touch screen!
• i got a problem, obviously. people shouldn’t let me play with Excel. it makes me keep track of stupid things lol.
• Rocking out in my headphones as I push my way through spreadsheet after spreadsheet. In a great mood for a Monday!
• On a side note, how does excel 2010 not have a feature to save a chart as an image? Copy/paste to powerpoint works, but it should be easier.
• Does anybdy know how to work excel? Anybdy?
• Dear computer. I’m not your therapist, solve your own damn excel problem. ~ Sincerely, frustrated PNS.

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Templates
• Excel Functions

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Apparently you need a flamenco dress, purple shoes and confetti to work with an Excel spreadsheet. With all those purchases required, no wonder some people want to enter their 16 digit credit card numbers.

• Dear #Excel – A 15 digit number limit is stupid when you have to work with credit cards…
• I LOVE MY MOM. And yes, I do use her on occasion (like today) for her Excel knowledge….
• I once made a financial advisor beam with delight when I turned up to a meeting with my personal budget spreadsheet on my laptop.
• I love that MS excel has just told me that it needs to do an ‘OLE function’. Think I need to get my flamenco dress out!
• My cat Mya is trying to help me with my work. She says she’s a pro at excel, should I believe her? #fb
• When I was introduced to power pivot, I thought it was a replacement for pivot table. I was wrong. It is an enhancement for pivot table.
• the things I have to do for an allowance. Make an excel chart+a paragraph about why I need one. Hooray.
• Cracking open a customer’s excel sheet that I haven’t touched in 4 years. VBA code kind of scares me now. Let’s hope I don’t break it.
• Just when I think I know the coolest things about Pivot Tables I find another amazing thing about them. Microsoft Excel is amazing.
• Loving the ultra-geeky discussion a few of my team members are having re: their love of Excel problems/solutions. #Awesome #Geeks #Fun
• I just received a spreadsheet in bold comic sans on a yellow background. FFS.
• It took me 1 hour, but i made a chart in excel! *confetti and cheering*
• Is it really weird that I love making Excel spreadsheets? On 2nd thought, don’t answer that
• How about its going on 2+ hrs and I finally figured out how to do charts on microsoft excel! GRRR #BITTER and it STILL isn’t quite right 🙁
• My life used to revolve around MTV & MTV2 Programming Grids. Now it’s P&L Forms and Retail Mark Up Calculators. Thanks Bill Gates. #excel
• People REALLY suck at following directions in this Excel class. I thought adults would be able to listen better. Just like children…
• Today I am working on a targeted marketing spreadsheet. Yes I am high flying business woman. I’m lying actually but doesn’t it sound posh?!
• Dear Microsoft Excel, I SO love you … that I really hate you sometimes. #thinksallmyexgfsgangeduponmeandwrotemsexceltokillme
• Gave up trying to fathom boss’s Excel problem. Staring instead at my new shoes. They’re purple. Mighty stuff.

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

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Excel users are very versatile; in addition to creating spreadsheets, they can also do phone support, write love songs, calculate astrological compatibility of pets, and assemble glow-in-the-dark skeletons.

• Last 30 minutes: I have…fixed two computer login problems, given 2 reading recs, and taught 3 kids chart skills in Excel #WhatLibrariansDo
• I could write a love song about Microsoft Excel Pivot Tables.
• I need a class on Excel or a tutorial. My boss hovering over me while do this is making me forget what I know! #hoveringboss
• The presenter on my gotomeeting e-conference misspelled "pivot table"… Three times. #ho-hum
• Microsoft Excel has encountered a problem and needs to close.Well, I’ve encountered a fit of rage and need to throw you against the wall
• just impressed my hubby with over-the-phone Excel support. Love that I can still wow him after 15 years together! 🙂
• they’re just annoying and stupid and frustrating! DO NOT USE MERGED CELLS!!!!! #excel
• I <3 Excel for allowing me to make pretty charts of all this college athletics finance data!
• Things I have done at work today: excel sheets, glow-in-the-dark-skeleton assemblage, colouring in with crayons.
• I hate it when Excel and Access decide to work i n c r e d i b l y s ll ooo ooo w l yyyy. Bah
• Microsoft Excel has already encountered a problem – think this is going to be a long day…
• I’ll make a geeky excel chart with formulaes & stuff of astrological compatibility of all the people I know… and pets, why not.
• I just had to give my mom an I.T lesson over the phone for excel & she yelled in my ear, "Heyy I did it!" Lmao lucky I love her.
• why you still using #excel , I thought you are on the cutting edge. #numbers from Apple much better
• Dear Pivot Table, why don’t you stay the same color I format you each time you refresh? Can any XLSX junkies give a tip?
• Today I learnt about #Microsoft #excel. I don’t know why really as I can’t ever see me using it ever again.
• There’s probalbly nothing more draining than an excel spreadsheet
• Learning how to "code" in Excel. Also, cookies and milk. #CodeAtNight #UPenn
• I just used my own logic and intuition to find a solution to a problem that was just .1% off of Excel Solver’s optimal solution. #NerdCred

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

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Working with Excel can be dangerous. You could die, or fall off your chair, or have your tweets taken over by a robot. The temperature fluctuates wildly too, due to freeze panes and living hell. Be careful out there!

• the fact that you knew about Excel Pivot tables immediately disqualifies you from calling yourself a techie.
• Today I had a meeting to plan an Excel spreadsheet. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.
• Please ignore my last tweet on #Excel. It wasn’t tweeted by me, it was tweeted by an Excel spreadsheet on my machine. Damn bots.
• Guy on FB: "Just discovered pivot tables in Excel. MS office rocks." #Facepalm
• Just spent 30 mins over dinner discussing difference in mathematical elegance of DSUM to SUMIFS (Excel) #fml #killmenow #middleclass #VAT
• #busyseason is when an accountant experiences how one can both love and hate Excel
• Can’t leave work because I’m too excited about this chart I’m making and the discovery of how to make drop down lists in excel
• excel sheets & champagne… Mines excel sheets and red wine… Champagne when there’s multiple worksheets! Love it
• huh my maths teacher gave me a lot of sweets bcoz I made stupid excel table fo her LOL
• hates working with 1-∞ relationships on a flat spreadsheet. #objectsrule
• My life needs to not be a living spreadsheet hell this time of year. lol. For realz. Need solutions.
• So I finally figured out how to “freeze panes” successfully in an excel spreadsheet. I don’t like how I learned it, since I had to read.
• Being praised by the MD in front of the powers that be & the boss who has a love-hate relationship with my excel & slides: priceless
• 6 hour Excel teaching dash in full swing. The students are excited about learning charts at 8.30 in the morning 😉 #ITMC
• I love Excel….anyone know of a support group?
• I love Excel, it makes my life ordered and structured and neat. I woud be lost without it!
• Ooh. I made a pivot table. With a little arsing about when it wouldn’t group things. #excel #occasionallynifty #mostlyannoying
• OH: "The pie chart was so colorful I wanted to put on some pink floyd & ask the mad hatter when he expected the rabbit to return." #measure
• you have no worries! I caught an MBA grad w MS excel worksheet & he didn’t use any formulas he just input totals. i fell off chair

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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There were lots of tweets yesterday about a TV show that featured a tea party and some Excel charts. I don’t go to many tea parties, but they might be more fun if everyone brought their Excel files.

• I hate it when people mess with fonts in a spreadsheet. Comic Sans has no place in Excel!!
• Re-learning stupid Excel tricks with VLOOKUP and ISERROR
• my day is already ruined. thanks to #ms #excel. anybody who can quickly teach me gnu plot?
• Think I may do some tinkering with #Excel #VBA today, see if that gets my mind kicked into a more productive/creative gear.
• Overlooking it’s ugly syntax, I have managed to write some beautiful #Excel #VBA macros!
• My tax return would be a lot easier if the spreadsheet with all the info in hadn’t corrupted itself.
• Michele bachmann made her chart for the tea party rebuttal in microsoft excel 2003.
• Anyone know a lot about pivot tables in excel? Or a good website to learn about them? I need a refresher, stat.
• Excel just randomly deleted an hour’s worth of work. I’m not exactly giddy right now.
• Seems wrong to be listening to The Pixies and poking away at a spreadsheet. Doesn’t seem like they’d be cool with that.
• Jan. 26, 1983: Spreadsheet as Easy as 1-2-3 http://nblo.gs/dtTma
• Office Starter is pretty rubbish. you can’t even VIEW charts in Excel. might have to actually pay for it, hmph
• Wow, a "show us your spreadsheets" contest. Now THAT is nerdy. http://bit.ly/e3WXcD 😉 Love it. #Excel
• haven’t even got close to sleeping yet. Working on a spreadsheet. Kind of in the flow and don’t want to stop. But I really should
• Little one needs to wake in 20 mins & I have about 20 hrs work to do. mmm wonder how quickly she can pick up Excel? #delegation #lilaeffect
• Dear .xlsm version of excel. You’re the annoying spinoff that no one wants. Like when Kramer made that show after Seinfeld. #excel #Seinfeld
• Excel has just chucked a hissy fit on me and locked a workbook. I think it’s hormonal.
• For one guy on the team it now takes 60 seconds to open a 30kb spreadsheet…welcome to the future!
• Without boss: windows media player. With boss: excel and word. #officelife

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

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