Author: Debra Dalgleish

If it’s your first day back at work, and you’ve spent 10 hours making a pie chart, don’t throw your computer out the window. A good night’s sleep might solve the problem.

• I successfully made a line, bar, and pie graph on Excel this morning. I shouldn’t have to do anymore work today. #success
• "Microsoft Excel is trying to recover your information…" And I’m trying to not throw you out the window, work computer
• How much of a nerd am I if I just realized now that I think Excel work, table making and chart making, is actually relaxing?? #GodThatsSad
• "Nobody gets my references." – Excel sheet that’s been pasted into a new workbook
• I just taught myself to code in excel out of boredom…
• Got an excel spreadsheet from boss before reaching car so this is going to be a great vacation.
• Spent half the night trying to figure out how to graph my data in Excel. Woke up this morning and figured it out in 2 mins. ??
• Just solved an Excel macro code bug for a coworker. Yeah, I’m that tool in the office.
• Finally after about 10 hours of struggling with Microsoft Excel I have myself a pie chart for my assignment wooooo
• Silly professor I’m going to be a princess they dont need to learn to graph on excel… so can I leave???
• Then again, sometimes you spend 4 hours trying to do something with a pivot table that doesn’t work.
• When people are talking, its because they’re friends, not because they are telling each other how to make a graph on Excel
• It may look like I’m online shopping at the library, but I’m really doing a footwear price comparison spreadsheet on Excel for my boss.
• Geek alert: I just successfully developed a difficult multi-worksheet excel formula. AND my spreadsheet is also beautiful.
• Am I the only one who took 2 hours to schedule my classes and used 6 charts and 2 excel sheets? #probably #perfectionist #freak
• what sort of idiot sends a screenshot of an excel workbook asking you to use the data to perform an analysis…
• First day back at work after a week off, I’ve forgotten my network password and am in a losing battle with excel #goingwell #needcoffee
• no matter how much i smash this computer on the floor, i still can’t get my excel formulas to work #excel

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Yes, some days it feels like a Greek tragedy when you’re working in Excel. Eat a bucket of popcorn, and try to forget your pain.

• I am at that place in building a graph in excel where I am just randomly clicking stuff to see if it works. WORK.
• How do I get the lines on my Excel sheet? Aren’t they just supposed to be there? I thought that was the purpose of a spreadsheet… #fml
• All of a sudden, I think basic excel charts are actually quite nice looking. I think I may have seen on too many infographics…
• One of the directors at work called me an "Excel guru" today…but should I be proud or utterly ashamed of how pathetically geeky it sounds?
• I have been in the pivot table zone all day. At this rate, I should have all my data crunching needs sorted in approx. three years.
• I’d say my fury over losing hours of tedious, unsaved Excel work is akin to how Menelaus felt after the abduction of Helen. #worstoftimes
• Eating myself into popcorn oblivion because I don’t know how to make a graph on excel
• Excel, you suck. Editing other people’s work in excel, you suck worse. #workwhine
• Give me a pivot table long enough, and a spreadsheet on which to put it, and I could cross-tab the world!
• my classmate is asking me for help on excel and im like sis dont u realize i copied all my friend’s work
• After 15 mins deep on a excel spreadsheet I think my boss is now just typing random numbers and formulas.
• my nose is stuffed so i have to breathe through my mouth & i have to figure out how to work excel on my own. look into my eyes and know hell
• I AM AN EXCEL VBA GODDESS…oh okay, I managed to bastardise some code & write bits myself to do things I need for work. #worktweet
• One of those days where you realize that the problem with your Excel formula is glaringly obvious & stupid.
• Taught a guy in my office how to make Pie Charts on an Excel spreadsheet. It’s like I made his week. People have such sad lives. ??
• I need someone who’s a boss at using Excel to come teach me skills… Using google isn’t the same as having a good tutor…
• I just had the most ridiculous meeting in the history of meetings. "…and that is how I want you to color-code your Excel file." Seriously?
• I work hard so my children will never have to know what a pivot table is.

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Halloween is just around the corner, and Excel might be a perfect way to scare those trick-or-treaters! Just don’t let it become the “babe” of your existence.

• Yes. I just e-mail you a screenshot of my Excel workbook so you’ll have to key in the data just like I did.
• I spend more than 25% of my work day helping people with basic Excel issues who claimed to be at an Intermediate level
• I’m a bit like Mr Bean when I use Excel. My solutions work well enough, are seldom what other people would do & sometimes cause disaster.
• ooohhh…I wonder if I could put a pivot table in the window and scare the neighborhood kids? #chat2lrn
• My boss & I are planning an interpretive dance with colorful scarves to decode an Excel spread sheet. Practicing ballet in her office! #fun
• Dear MS Excel gods, please let this assignment be almost done. The amount of crap I’ve shoved into this worksheet makes me ill. Over it.
• Today it took me 2 hours, my dad’s help, about 10 YouTube tutorials and a million smacks to the face to make a graph on excel.
• A quarter of my work day is spent deciding which fill colors to use on Excel.
• Textin people that I don’t normally talk to to see if they can help with this Stupid Excel Graph..
• Microsoft excel is the babe of my existence. JUST MAKE MY GRAPH! WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO!
• My favourites are Excel ninjas. Nothing says Japanese mercenary like VLOOKUP and a cheeky pivot table.
• I just got props for making a pie chart. Highlighting data and clicking pie chart on excel is obviously a complicated thing to do for some.
• Every time you say the words "pivot table" a dog doesn’t go to heaven.
• You know your job is dead end when you get an email from your boss telling you where to leave the insertion cursor in an excel file.
• Start a new worksheet, save, "compatibility check recommended!". Excel, confusing users since ever.
• Watching my little girl build a PowerPoint presentation. Really quite impressive. But let’s see her do a pivot table in Excel.
• I’m drowning in my love for Excel. I have to make this workbook extra sexy so I get more projects like this.
• Cmon excel. Just make the graph I need so I can move on with my life.

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When you’re working on your life plan charts in Excel, don’t use your phone calculator to get the totals.

• Shout-out to my high school biology teacher for showing me how to make Excel charts. I had NO CLUE how much I’d use that skill as an adult.
• Astonishing, having to explain to someone that excel docs can contain more than one worksheet. How do they get that far in life?
• After hours and hours of work, Excel just crashed on me. I think this is a sign for me to get out of my apartment and revive my social life.
• You know you have issues if you speak in Excel VBA code to your friend.
• My Excel data ends on row 666. Proof that my work is evil!
• Boss has suggested we go on an Advanced Excel course – this makes me want to cry….do I really want people to know I’m an advanced geek!
• Scholastic motivation: Boys and girls…if you excel at math and science you won’t have to talk to as many people at work.
• Seriously, why can’t it just be a matter of thinking a concept & then excel making it happen???! Why must it take 30-60 min to work it out?!
• All my clients ROI’s are going in the tube and my strategist’s answer for all my questions? "make a pivot table". YOU make a GD pivot table.
• I am fantastic at working on an excel worksheet for three hours to only make it look the same as it did before
• I hate that I can’t make Excel work and it just freaking shows my pie chart all stupid. What kind of business major am I?
• You know you’re not an accountant when you put the info on excel but still work out the totals on your phones calculator.
• Pretty excited to have finally found an appropriate occasion to use slicers in a pivot table. #thisiswhyimsingle
• My mom just sent me a bunch of data asking me if I could "work my Excel magic". The answer to that is #always. #ExcelNerd #proudofit
• At an advanced Microsoft Excel class after 9 hours of work. I dare you to come up with something more boring.
• Over fall break I’ll be showing my very confused parents an excel doc with charts and tables concerning my life plans. That’s normal right?
• my 3,000 row excel sheet i’ve been working on for 4 weeks was saved incorrectly and now i have 80 hours of work to do in 24. #trynottocry
• The default color scheme for Excel charts is specifically designed to confound my feeble ability to distinguish colors.

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Would the world be a better place if all kids learned how to use Excel and make pivot tables? Maybe we could start with celebration noises instead.

• Call me old fashion but I’d rather take 30 seconds to draw a chart by hand than take an hour to learn to operate the spaceship that is excel
• Fought and won a major battle with Excel to do something rather fancy in a chart, the result looks great but it’s done my head in! #fb
• Not convinced about teaching all kids how to code. I’d be happier if more people could use Excel. Those pivot tables are tricky 🙂
• I know I’m late to the game, but whomever removed the chart wizard from excel – I hate you.
• Excel really needs celebration noises. Quite happy with this historical NSS Assessment & Feedback pivot table/charts
• No, it’s not my code, it’s excel deciding that times don’t need to show hours. Speaking of hours, I’d like that one back.
• And how do I stop excel automaticallc changing 5-9 to 5-september? This stupid thing is maddening!
• Just created my first Excel pivot table. It’s even more fun than it sounds.
• I just taught someone how to make a chart in Excel by making a chart in Excel. Software is terrible and none of us are escaping alive.
• there’s no ‘view source code’ for excel. No way to debug Excel formula error. No stack overflow for Excel either <–now there’s an idea!
• Trying to get my boss to use #Excel instead of a pad and paper is no easy task.#TryingToTeachAnOldDogNewTricks #Chicago #MoneyManagement
• when I close my eyes, I see Excel spreadsheets. That is very bad. I’m having such a hard time leaving work at work.
• Just spent the entire week trying to make one Excel chart.
• "fake it till you make it" -me to myself everyday at work when my boss tells me to do crazy stuff on excel and i have to google how to do it
• I AM QUEEN OF EXCEL VBA*!!! KNEEL BEFORE ME!!! *have finally solved a stupid code error, not an actual title
• I used my brain too much today. Ouch. It’s Friday. Not a day for flow charts, logic diagrams, Excel sheets and content hierarchies… #geek
• There’s something calming about creating a brand new Excel workbook. It’s also kind of artistic. #NotASarcasticTweet

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Use your common sense in Excel, or you could go from slinging drinks, to making pivot tables, to oblivion.

• Housemate doing fun craft while I teach myself to use a Pivot table. One of us is getting a raw deal. I don’t think it’s him.
• Scumbag Microsoft – "Oh! Finally got your VBA code to work? Let me just crash Excel for you so you can do it again"
• You know when you want to ask a pro a question, but you are afraid the answer will be "pivot table."That’s how I’m feeling now
• I can’t even work excel how the hell am I supposed to get into college??
• Boss is calling himself an "Excel God" again. Stabbing myself repeatedly in the eye with a letter opener.
• I found out the hard way the Excel can only have a little over 1million rows in one worksheet. Don’t try that at home
• Just had a fun hour at work making a data analyst laugh with Excel & Pivot Table based jokes. I think I need to get a life.
• Alert!!!! I used Microsoft excel and my brain didn’t explode!! And I made a pretty cute bar graph!!!
• I use Excel way too much for someone who doesn’t work in data entry
• just a bit of common sense, yeah? i’m not asking for the moon on a stick.. or in a pivot table.
• I just realized it wasn’t me being an idiot, it’s my Excel. It seems to want to delete all of my work every so often. I’m gonna cry.
• So many stupid desktop support requests relate to insert mode. "OMG NOTHING’S WORKING EXCEL IS BROKEN"
• everyone is doing some excel worksheet in class, but as always, i’m looking up puppies instead. i hope we dont need to know this.
• No wonder my brother dropped engineering in a week- he cant even figure out how to print out my excel chart -./
• If anyone needs any excel work, I’m now officially certified!
• Today, I successfully made a Pivot Table on the first try for the first time. It’s a well-quantified downhill slide to oblivion from here
• It is crazy how much my work life has changed in the last 3 months. From slinging drinks and wrenching on boats to meetings and excel.
• So Excited by the Pivot Table I just Created. I know most People wouldn’t be that Excited but most People haven’t seen this Bad-Boy #Skillz

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If your boss loves animated charts, you might need to start tracking your blood pressure in Excel.

• everyone remembers their first pivot table
• No, really, Excel. Sometimes we really do want that leading zero. *watches 5 hours of work disappear* *crawls under desk with a bottle*
• "BAM!! Not only is the chart animated, the colour is graduated! I love Excel!" #stuffmybosssays
• Just had to count the number of tours given on a printed excel worksheet. Isn’t that the point to excel to count it for you #workstudyprobs
• I get excited every time I discover a new formula for excel or trending graph. Am I turning into an #excel #geek ?
• I finally conceded to adulthood – I made an excel chart to keep track of my money. Oh childhood, I miss you.
• Today I learned how to graph pivot table data in Excel. Let the madness begin.
• My boss was like a proud dad when I showed him I did a whole spread sheet of vlookups on my own ?? I’m learning from an excel master??
• I have a new found obsession with making charts on Microsoft Excel…. is that weird?
• So she pulls up an excel workbook and says copy all this down. #excuseme
• At what point does tweaking a pivot table actually become abuse?
• I created a formula in excel that’s so large/intricate, if you change any info that relates to it excel crashes #fml #LibertyMutualProblems
• I’m always surprised at my annual physical that not ALL patients graph their daily blood pressure in Excel. Why measure if you don’t plot?
• The fact that I am googling how to do apie chart in excel makes me want to cry
• Should prob stop telling my boss I know how to do things in excel that I really don’t #ThankGodForGoogle
• Are we actually passing around a laptop and typing our names into an excel worksheet for attendance…? #newage
• they say teach the man to fish and he will eat for life. but sometimes… the man decides he’ll just ask u whenever he needs a pivot table
• One of the links in my Excel workbook broke. Can I go home?

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Pivot tables and baby corn? Now that would be an interesting talent for the Miss America pageant! Or is it just a stupid thing?

• I used the color option in excel on a data sheet once and now anytime there is a colored box my boss assumes it’s my work. All the color! 😀
• For some reason, I’ve gotten into making excel worksheets for stupid things. I don’t know why.
• Rarely see the phrase "grand total" outside of a pivot table – like seeing baby corn outside of a Chinese restaurant
• That terrifying moment when excel ‘hides’ a worksheet when you didn’t know excel had an ‘unhide’ button. #Thankgodforgoogle #workproblems
• Thought I experienced the worst excel hell…..then comes the wedding seating chart. Beer me now
• Why do businesses not care about maintainable code? Because Excel trains managers to create unmaintanable code. #softwarestereotypes
• when people ask if I know how to fix a graph on excel and i’m reminded of hours spent crying at my computer in the marketing room #nostalgia
• You know you’re a sports nut when…..you’re doing cost analysis at work and you color-code cities in Excel based on their #NFL team colors.
• I was bored enough at work to spend half an hour making a pivot table to sort data I could have skimmed in 10 minutes.
• #Excel, you sneaky bastard. I give you the chance at a simple bar chart, and you go & start my axis at 45%, not 0%. For shame. For. Shame.
• $160,000 engineering degree. Most common jobs my boss asks me to do: "Make the Word document look like this." and "Excel is broken. Fix it."
• My talent would probably be building a pivot table in Excel…. So there is that. #MissAmerica
• like on a scale of 1-10 how bad would it be if i just took a nap at my desk at work instead of working on this stupid excel spreadsheet?
• Just learned how to create pivot tables and charts in Excel. Feel like a whole new woman.
• hope this woman next to me on the metra making a micro excel graph on her comp doesn’t mind how Im bumpin 50 cent in da headphones rn
• *Closes eyes* *Thinks of her room, bed, quilt, pillows* *Opens eyes* *Stares back at the stupid incomplete excel file* Such is life.
• If this pivot table thing doesn’t figure itself out soon, I quit
• Yeah I’m a pro at excel graphs. It’s actually pretty sick. There’s nothing a lady finds more attractive than a well done excel graph.

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Working at a religious festival shouldn’t be a problem – you certainly need faith to work with Excel! Well that, and the power of VLOOKUP.

• Went to work’s corporate Excel training day today. I certainly did not excel.
• Just learned that if the Excel 2007 formula bar is active, I can’t close the workbook. How stupid.
• I did a good hour of excel work today and as soon as I think to myself, "I should save what I’ve done so far," my computer crashes,:/
• Boss Can excel add up the numbers as I enter them Me Autosum Boss Where is that Me you need to download an app from google Boss ok thanks
• Would it be unethical to work for a Christian festival? They haven’t put faith on their list of role requirements, only excel knowledge
• Someone at my office came up with a really stupid idea: copying a federal manual into an excel spreadsheet "so we can use it as a form."
• My boss just asked me to put my Excel Spreadsheet into an Excel Spreadsheet. *headdesk*
• The only thing i hate about my mac is how its impossible to work excel
• I would really, really like to just be able to code things instead of being interrupted and forced to do dumb excel stuff constantly.
• Today I found how to change the colour scheme of excel spreadsheets to black. Tis v smart & I feel it’s making me work cleverer! #smallwins
• Pretty sure I need a pivot table to accurately represent this load test data. Also pretty sure I have no idea what a pivot table is.
• My claim to fame at work: knowing how to open multiple MS Excel docs in different windows ??
• Right after I exited without saving. That’s when I realised I was working in the wrong excel workbook. #facepalm #donefortheday
• Just did almost 2 hours worth of work on an excel file and accidentally turned the computer off. Hold on while I bawl my eyes out
• Hey. Excel! You’re not the boss of me I have mastered the art of the Vlookup! Hahahaha
• never in my life did I ever think that excel would be become one of my best friends in life #seriously #sadlife #work #pivottables
• I’ve done a pivot table like ONCE in my life and now you’re expecting me to find the missing $217,000 from 2012 in pivot tables? #UGH
• Just stood up and did a touchdown dance by my desk at work after getting Excel to do what I wanted it to. This is my life, folks.

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Would it kill you to solve that Excel problem? Maybe not, but it might leave you in a pickle.

• "Dancing in your chair in a cubicle is an art, and technically IS helping me fill out this excel sheet" – me to my boss
• Feel like my laptop and excel have joined #strikeseason and refuse to work with me.
• I shouldn’t be as excited as I am that (over lunch) I’ve worked out how to chart complex data in excel so it displays how I want
• The pivot table function may have just saved my life.
• I’d like to nominate the Excel graph "Select Data" dialog for the "worst breaking of UI conventions" award 2013, please
• If I work on the same excel problem for another hour I will die
• Started naming attachments/files really stupid names. "Gherkin monster from pickles below v2" was the name of most recent Excel spreadsheet.
• Doing Excel work in absolute silence < ?? Terrible day to forget my headphones
• The answer to the sliding rupee may be hidden in those Dirty, Inefficient & For Boss’s Eyes Only Excel files by Millions of Untrained Users.
• If you work in an office there isn’t really an excuse for not knowing how to make a list of numbers in Excel…
• #PowerPivot re-introduced Pivot Tables reports to me, but nothing beats Worksheet function based #Excel reports.
• I’m making Steve compare my data lists for work on Excel. I’m definitely dating up when it comes to my knowledge of Excel. #HeHatesMe
• When will I ever have to make a pivot table in real life? #ihatestats
• My boss, who is a genius BTW: "Yeah, we’re gonna get you out of that habit." He was talking about using a mouse at any point within Excel.
• So this interview excel practice just turned into me trying to remember how formulas work on excel. At least it’s keeping me busy.
• Over 20 years old and the world dependent upon it, yet still Excel hyper warps your graph title then crashes arrghh #thesis #excellCrap
• Man, I understand how to do a pivot table. What I don’t get is knowing what goes in what column or row. #picodatabc
• I finally get a Mac and my excel professor tells us that we can only use a PC to complete our assignments.. #fml

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Remember to turn off that macro recorder, even if you’re just making pie charts or helping Grandma learn Excel. Otherwise, you’ll end up with thousands of lines of code, and it won’t be poetry.

• Old is when creating a complex excel worksheet gives you thrills.. I’m old.
• How many tests am I going to write to make sure a 30 page Excel workbook has interpreted the data right? arrrrggh.
• Grandma asked if I’d teach her Excel. She meant make her a worksheet to just fill in numbers. She got both!
• My excel formulas aren’t code. They’re poetry.
• I want to swear at my computer and then go back to college and retake that excel course. Charts get me every time!
• Excel’s double double quotes method to put double quotes in double-quoted strings is stupid.
• Does anybody know how to make a chart on excel?? ??
• Do I seriously pay hundreds on dollars to watch this man try to figure out how to make a graph on excel?
• This guy is so stupid. Doesn’t even know how to use MS Excel. Geez.
• Sad story Had a nightmare last night. Needed to update a financing. All the cells in the excel workbook were hardcoded…no formulas
• I love it when I write a few lines of code in excel and it automates a task that saves someone at the office hours of work every month =)
• THESE PEOPLE ARE SO DUMB. THEY ARE GETTING EXCITED BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHAT A PIE CHART IS ON EXCEL. OMG IDIOTS
• I cant even work power point and u want me to work excel … im old fashioned
• Funny: I just saw in Excel: "Stop Recording"?? I started Macro Recorder yesterday *& forgot*! 1023+ lines of code documenting last ~16 hrs!
• Just made excel crash! Apparently I had the entire contents of a worksheet in the clipboard and pasted it into my VBA code… 🙁
• Just worked out how to amend a Powerpoint graph using Excel. This is probably the greatest accomplishment of my life so far #aiminglow
• so I’m writing code for Excel for class and I tell it to add two numbers together (5+5) and the computer gives me 55 ?? stupid computer ??
• My teacher just said go on YouTube to learn about a pivot table because she can’t explain it… Then why are you teaching?!

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If your first date isn’t going well, try to impress her with a pivot table. If that fails, a pig roast, with an Excel chart, might do the trick.

• Laying in bed & I just had a brilliant idea for an Excel sheet for work. Huge timesaver. Thought you’d all like to know.
• Nothing makes me happier at work than a color-coded excel grid. #geekingout
• New rule: when I need to color code an excel sheet for work, I will use #cleveland sports colors #winegold #blueorange #orangebrown #redblue
• Overhead boss trying to explain what a read only Excel file is to a befuddled coworker. Too funny. And sad
• Stupid pivot table wont sort months in calendar order. Only in alphabetical order. Why would I need that excel?
• can you go blind from looking at too many excel charts? feels like it
• Just uncovered walls of random codes written in white ink under a pie chart on an excel sheet i was given #xfiles #topsecret #mustbealiens
• I cant even concentrate well enough to spell my name this early. How am I supposed to work in excel?
• Just had workbook returned because ‘it hasn’t been made with filters on. Please make with filters and resend’.#excel #facepalm
• My new boss coerced me into cutting and pasting numbers into Excel until 10:30 PM in exchange for booze. It totally worked #wizard
• The guy I have a crush on coming over to help me up my pivot table and Vlookup game with Excel; he just got almost 4 x’s sexier.
• I’m going to a pig roast this afternoon. The host just sent me this Excel chart. We are NOT nerds. http://t.co/Gotrvh46YS
• making a pivot table for my fantasy football draft… what has happened to me?
• "How hard is it to color code an excel spreadsheet? I can’t read this thing!" #thingsoverheardfrommycubicle #firstworldproblems
• I think I’ve done enough work for today. *closes excel* *hears boss walk by* *opens 3 spreadsheets and studies them*
• I just love having to pick excel spreadsheets over first dates. #fml
• It’s normal to have an Excel workbook with your comic/novel/game purchases for the next few months, right?
• It makes me feel like such a badass whenever I make a pivot table bend to my whim #mycorporatelife

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Some days it feels like you’re fighting bears to get your Excel work done. Other days, you’re just fighting with the printer.

• How to be an engineer: 1. Learn how to use Excel. 2. Make charts all day and look busy. 3. Use big words so no one knows what you’re doing.
• Today’s a day I am SO thankful to have had a boss who made me learn how to use Excel like a big kid #vlookup #sumifs #nerd
• My crappy, misfiring work computer and Excel’s chronic inability to work properly are giving me a new understand of the film Office Space
• The no. of colors highlighted in the excel is directly proportional to the job level.Only boss shld know what he means by Orange color.
• Every weekend I tell myself to practice Excel and I never remember until I’m actually at work doing it.
• Just truly discovered array formulas in Excel. THIS IS THE ULTIMATE GAME-CHANGER. Now to try to explain it to my boss and her Excel 97 mind.
• My hobbies include writing very complicated code in excel to accomplish menial tasks.
• I’ll say it again, you guys: I love Excel. I loooove Excel. I’d get in bed and cuddle up with a pivot chart at night if they’d let me. #geek
• Best feature of Excel 2013: only one worksheet when creating new spreadsheets
• interviewing people at work who are all like "yeah I can use excel" and then can’t even find "start" ????????????
• "So, you can use Microsoft Excel to make graphs?" This is a question that my boss asked me.
• So this job I’m going for. Like 90% of it is Excel. The other 10% is Powerpoints about Excel. I am so gonna be taking my work home.
• I just out stupid myself … had a fully colour coded excel sheet printed it in black n white
• Ma’am, I suggest you look the other way. You don’t wanna see some extreme Excel work in action.
• Boss: What do the colors (on this report) mean? Me: That I can use Excel and a color printer
• Why doesn’t Excel have an Undo button for a deleted worksheet? Darn it. Spent hours on that worksheet.. T.T
• Pretty cool how my ancestors used to fight bears and bison for survival & I hate everything when I can’t get an Excel function to work

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Do your best to fix those formulas, or you might thwart someone’s plans for world domination. Or worse – all your charts could change to orange and maroon.

• Boss man asked for high level view of data. One minute later I gave him a Pivot Table. Boss man mind = blown.
• If I have to customize an excel chart, you better believe its going to end up in Orange & Maroon
• Why does Excel still use global undo history rather than individual workbook history?
• I have to use VLOOKUP for a massive project & somehow it actually worked, where was this when I took at that stupid Excel class in 2010
• I have a theory that "how to make a pivot table" is one of the most googled questions in history
• I’m posting on an Excel discussion board at work because I have a COUNTIFS formula that isn’t working. I’ve ascended the peak of lameness.
• So apparently you can’t undo after deleting a worksheet in Excel. Must be the technology of the future. #toolatetoapologize
• The obviously don’t know how awesome you are. Just tell them, "HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE, LET ME GET SOME EXCEL CHARTS IN IT!!!"
• I just stared at a pivot table for 15 minutes trying to figure out why the data was all jacked up. I forgot to hit refresh. #ineedtogohome
• Dreamt I worked in an office and my boss was Khal Drogo and I ruined his plans to take over the world cause I can’t work Microsoft excel
• Thank you for telling me I have a circular reference in my workbook, excel. &$#@ you for repeatedly not telling me where.
• OMG I work for a Financial Firm. Clients should not call us when you have EXCEL ISSUES. Call Microsoft. Rant over.
• finally learnt how to use pivot table but why is it that i don’t trust the stats that is being generated? lol.
• Today created something by working with my hands. It’s the way a man should work. Sure it was an excel spreadsheet, but what have you done?
• I just saved an excel workbook as "GOD PLEASE DONT LET THIS CRASH OR I QUIT". It’s time for me to take a vacation.
• my boss just described my color coded data analysis in excel as "sexy"???
• And all the mistakes I made were stupid typos in Excel, not conceptual errors. So that’s a good thing, I guess.
• Spent the first hour at work making an excel spreadsheet to find out how best to catch up on 3 seasons of #BreakingBad by Sunday.

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It might not be boring to watch someone make an Excel chart if it featured Daffy Duck, or a few magic tricks.

• I hate it at work when I create some really awesome Excel formula or Access VBA code. No one understand why I get stoked. Such a nerd. /sigh
• Just needed to do a pivot table for my internship… It’s a miracle I used something I learned from college in the real world
• Reminded of a great phrase my old boss used to use today when describing a colleague’s Excel skills.."there is no beginning to your talents"
• I’d like an Excel chart displaying all of the things Daffy Duck yells when he thinks he’s struck it rich. #travellingwithkids
• Why doesn’t #Excel get that if I type numbers using a certain format, it means that’s the format I want, and not some stupid autoformat?
• I have never used a pivot table. I have plainly been missing out.
• Spent an hour trying to figure out why my if-else function in Excel wasn’t working. I missed out a " omg. I feel so stupid.
• Just when I think I’m an Excel genius, my pivot charts change selected filters when I’m just trying to update the formatting. #rage #fb
• Clicked "hide" to some columns in Excel 2010, now I can’t unhide them!! Stupid new excel… Oh well gone past home time forget it! ??
• Was confused why my pivot table wasn’t displaying anything. Realized I didn’t select any data when creating one. #ExcelFailure
• Boss performed some magic tricks on Excel and wants me to perform same tricks after lunch it seems. This is how it ends.
• That nervous feeling you get when you execute a vba code for the first time #microsoft #excel #2013
• *screaming at excel worksheet* "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T EDIT THIS ARRAY" *office goes silent* *shrivels into raisin and hides in drawer*
• Please, let’s not paste raw pivot table screenshots into emails and call them reports. Seriously.
• Here i am racking in overtime because my boss don’t know how to use Microsoft Excel. It pays to be dumb. Pays me anyways
• Just created a new worksheet on my excel spreadsheet titled ‘Xmas 2013’ with names and amounts attached! #tooearly #bloodyexpensive
• Please don’t tell the other physicists I’m generating data for a graph using MS Excel.
• Nothing is as boring as watching someone try to figure out how to make a graph in Excel.

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If women won’t talk to you, try sending them birthday wishes in Excel code.

• My boss needed help with Excel. Turns out he just didn’t know how to center justify values in each box. EASY FIX FOR ALL THE BROWNIE POINTS
• Slowly going mad writing an Excel workbook. Quick, send emergency beer!
• First lesson for new boss: excel has a "borders" function. You don’t have to underline text & space until the line length is to your liking.
• Open and closing excel documents for the next hour to make it look like I’m being productive #DontKnowWhatToDo
• It’s probably a bad sign that writing macros and making a Pivot Table counts as an exciting event in my summer
• I’m lucky that I have a job where I can idly ask myself: "What’s the largest possible Excel sheet?"
• It is absolutely ethical to bribe one’s coworkers with alcoholic beverages in exchange for an Excel line graph.
• Why does someone always mess with this excel workbook?! Whyyyy?
• Adding some pretty color to my excel report. Just because it’s grey and rainy outside, doesn’t mean my document has to be #colorcode #nerd
• You know your summer is kind of lame when the highlight of it is creating a badass price analysis excel worksheet for your boss. #Summer
• Boss thinks it’ll take me a day and a half to make some excel tables… Yeaaah I’m gonna milk it
• Entire pivot table just imploded and 7 hours of work just fell to hell. There are NO WORDS for how devastated I am. #BadLuckDarrius
• Do people really struggle with excel or something? My boss is acting like I deserve a Nobel peace prize for writing a simple macro. *shrugs*
• I’m following anybody who tweets birthday wishes in Excel code. Nerd cool.
• Excel crashes if you click the wrong place while titling a chart. It’s programmed me not to try, unless truly critical.
• On the plus side finally cracked this stupid excel formula and treated myself to green flip flops.
• I would literally give my right arm to go back to when i didn’t even know what a pivot table was!
• I have used the VLOOKUP function in excel more times this year than I have spoken actual words to women #FML

__________________

No, Excel isn’t laughing at you, unless you’re wearing a Casio-style calculator watch, and yelling “Pudding!”

• Finally winding down from work. Why so late? Suffice it to say, Excel auto-recover will be 1st against the wall when the revolution comes.
• My boss asked me at the last minute to do something impossible in Excel. I want to run into her office, yell PUDDING! and then leave.
• I’m getting way too emotional about this excel doc for work…is this how adults live real life?
• On my résumé under skills I should put "my mom knows excel." Because I basically call her during work every day to ask how to do something.
• I’m in work staring at my excel spreadsheet thinking why can’t I be in Donegal drinking a cowboy special.
• Dear Excel, why do I have to hit create after I have selected my blank workbook? Y U NO JUST OPEN NEW WORKBOOK??
• I bet Microsoft going to get their Excel team to work on their smart watch and produce a hipster-friendly Casio-style calculator watch.
• My boss showed me how to make/use a pivot table on Excel and proceeded to tell me he had given me $3,000 worth of knowledge. thank you?
• I know I shouldn’t enjoy playing with Excel so much but I just do. My spreadsheet is doing so much work FOR ME. #excelgeek
• Just slightly terrified after I close the excel workbook I’m working on without saving. Thank God for the message of Are you sure?
• Someone mentioned using an excel spreadsheet and work and the manager made them sit in the corner facing the wall. #2013
• Has there ever been a pivot table that didn’t eventually stop working correctly? No? Not surprised. Stupid Excel.
• If you wanna hear your boss say "This is excellent!" just learn how to use Excel pivot tables and Lucida Console 8 pt.
• I was at work till 8:45 last night in a cold cold room doing magic tricks with excel. It sounds so dirty and my head hurts.
• Just turned my excel table that I’ve been working on for days into a chart and can’t make it go back. might cry.
• Am I the only one who gets excited after creating an amazing excel chart with filters and formulas??
• Sometimes I think Excel is laughing at me thinking "there’s a faster way to do that stupid"

_________________

When it gets too hot to work Excel, we’ll have to pull out our big, old calculators.

• Spent my entire morning formatting the excel charts my coworker made so that they didn’t look like a 4th grader made them.
• My boss just did jaw dropping things with excel and macros. His skills are wasted as a manager.
• When people tell me to be more productive at work I just tell then that there are 1 048 576 vertical cells in excel. They usually walk away.
• Trainspotters are so pathetic! I counted 23 of the losers yesterday…even made a graph,they are so lame*updates excel graph*
• Nothing like reading some excel code and thinking "that’s neat!" then realizing you wrote it 3 years ago. #satisfaction
• Turns out 28 degrees is the temperature at which it becomes physically impossible to work excel ????????????????????
• Just accidentally deleted my boss’s excel worksheet he worked on for close to an hour.I bet he regrets employing me 🙁
• Come the zombie apocalypse my ability to do a pivot table is going to be pretty useless. I say we all go out and learn to forage for food.
• My co-worker was like "I have some work for you to do, it’s an excel worksheet." And I laughed, cause no.
• My Microsoft Surface is unable to load add ons to Microsoft Excel I need for college! Stupid Microsoft! They’re both Microsoft!!!
• All I really want to know is where to click so that Excel will figure out that I want all 27 of my charts to look exactly the same.
• Stay at work a hour late to build an enormous spreadsheet and excel crashes before I can save it…hey at least I get paid hourly #truestory
• My boss printed out my excel and busted out his giant, for the visually impaired, calculator. Yeah that just happened.
• Excel, why do you make it so hard to export charts as graphics? Do you not want us to share our great work with the world?
• Training the new guys at work, pretty sure they’re blazed, no one laughs that hard at an excel spreadsheet #Stoned&Employed #PassToTheLeft
• My old boss did not use excel formulas to do calculations as he felt there was risk of errors. He opted instead to do it by hand… #Errors
• Watched a 7 mins vid in youtube in order to print this excel worksheet. -__-
• Got off work late because Microsoft Excel is the 1st ring of my own personal inferno.

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If you can’t remember how to scroll in Excel, and are thinking about making charts from embroidery thread, you’re probably not an analyst.

• Ridiculously geeky right now, but it makes me SO happy to work with other people who know what a Pivot Table is.
• Without Excel, I’d be creating a pushpin line graph out of embroidery string in the spare room. Yeah, I’ve thought about it…
• Guy behind me at work… trying to explain excel to his wife over the phone. The frustration is palpable!
• Love when the boss comes in to "fix" title issues, ruins the excel workbook and I spend 2 hrs correcting his mistakes because I was right
• Just spent 5 min cursing missing data in an Excel workbook. Only needed to scroll up. Emergency Coffee Infusion is required.
• I hope that if I look at stupid fb pictures for half an hour I will be able to close my eyes without excel charts popping up
• If anyone can create a pivot table, holla atcha girls. Until then, we’ll be eating Jasmine and potentially shedding tears.
• Being passingly fair doing macros in an Excel workbook does NOT make you an "analyst." Plick.
• Who knows how to code excel in Visual Basic? …Nobody …Great.
• I guess that stupid computer class in high school did absolutely nothing cuz I STILL suck at excel.
• Trust me, if I could put them into Excel and create a pivot table, I would.
• I wish I could post a link to my excel worksheet, so you all can appreciate its awesomeness as much as I do lol
• Just said "hashtag" instead of "pound sign" when describing an excel function to my boss #blankstares #generationgap
• It took me all day to open an excel file that I finished in 10 minutes #fml #internproblems
• Did one excel worksheet. Tired.
• #ThatAwesomeMoment when you find a tucked away tool in Excel that reduces your work from 5 hours to 5 minutes.
• I no longer wanna be a hipster, can someone transform me into a pro computer geek so I can do my stupid excel project. :'(
• Whole excel workbook done. Nightmare: "Oh, I also want this!"

__________________

Why? Why? Why? Why? If you have to ask, you haven’t tried to help someone with an Excel problem, over the phone.

• I now know how to create pivot charts in Excel. I’m not yet sure how to make this benefit my life.
• My colleagues’ use of Excel spreadsheets is getting beyond a joke. (Just received a list – well, a list of two items – in a spreadsheet.)
• Excel code is going to lead me to committing a grievous crime. Only question is how long can I hold out?
• My thoughts on science: it is not ok to use Excel graphs in a presentation. Ever.
• With all the excel documents I work with its great to finally have a keyboard who’s up arrow works!
• Thanks! And the graphs are only pretty compared to the excel spreadsheet that spawned them.
• Spent a chunk of today helping my boss create a crazy in-depth excel spreadsheet to help his NHL draft ??
• My Excel is not responding, don’t intend to fix the problem, hehehehe, its time for tweeting,
• Word of advice: if you date an excel genius, don’t burn that bridge… you WILL need his expertise on a work file soon after you break up.
• So you added a pie chart in Excel and then claimed “statistical analysis” has occurred? Nice try.
• Oh look! Excel locked up for the 1,000,000,000th time today. Perhaps this XP machine work has issued me is a bit underpowered. #fb
• If I can reproduce a newspaper graph in standard Excel, it’s a bad graph.
• Have a pad by the bed and write it down. It’s what I did and solved a problem on excel. I do not regret it.
• In other news today, my boss told me that my outfit looked like an Excel document. I don’t know what that means.
• Created my first working pivot table in Excel.. Kinda neat. Doesn’t fix my graph though! And apparently I can’t scatter a pivot table!
• Spent two weeks creating code that has saved someone 3 hours work every week. They didn’t believe an #Excel program could be created for it.
• i am a real business person 2day. got my excel charts and graphs and a business call from london #business
• "Are you in Excel?" "Yes" "Enter the date in the format DD MM YYYY" "It doesn’t work" "Email it over" *cell contains DD MM WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY?*

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Does your morning Excel ritual include air drumming, ninja kicks and coffee?

• It’s scary how much I am enjoying watching Excel tutorials on YouTube… I need friends.
• nobody ever enjoys Excel…and if they do then they’re either super geeky or are lying!
• so my parents are angry at me because i can’t teach my mum how to use excel BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO USE IT EITHER
• I wish more people in the professional workforce had even a basic understand of #Excel
• Wrote my first macro in Excel, now I can have this done by today instead of Friday… feeling like a boss!! #macro #Excel #VBA #efficiency
• Rediscovering the joys of #excel. However passionate we are about our business, it’s hard to muster enthusiasm for spreadsheets. #startup
• Spend all morning inputting an Excel chart. At noon, find out all the info was wrong. So the morning of June 20 never happened.
• Every time I have to make a pivot table or use the LOOKUP function in Excel, I die a little more inside. #dataoverload #excelisforjerks
• Conference room update: I did drop an F-bomb ,but in reference to a pivot table. Gaangsta.
• You start your morning off with coffee..me, with learning how to put background images in excel charts…(and coffee..lol)
• I give up, my brain is tired and I can’t write the vba code I need #excel #cuppatea #goingtobed
• Protip. If you have 55 thousand data points in an Excel graph, don’t try to fit a polynomial to it… Spoiler Alert: It’ll freeze the comp.
• Waiting for a bajillion-line excel workbook to open means time to practice air drumming and ninja kicks #badumdedumdedum #kickkick
• Trying to write a macro to copy macros (including itself) from one Excel workbook to another. It’s like VBA-Inception. Perhaps. Shut up.
• You would be amazed how weird words look after staring at an excel workbook all day. Like an I ebrm tupong englivsj nov?
• Can anyone create an excel worksheet for me. I could do it on my own but honestly I won’t like it.
• I have voluntarily made myself an excel spreadsheet, so I guess I’m an adult now.
• The amount of excitement I just felt while explaining my excel spreadsheet tables that I’m creating makes me a grade A nerd

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Do you agree that pivot tables are Microsoft’s best invention? Before you decide, remember that you can use a pivot table to find breweries.

• ‘It’s just a math problem’ I said. ‘I can do that in Excel’ I said. 69 columns of vlookups & nested if’s later, ready to start debugging!
• I have Excel sheets that involve my personal life…. Y’all should see the bucket list I just created. Pivot tables and all. #Nerd
• Today I get to hear "Wow" when I show people simple shortcuts in Excel. CTRL-COLON…OMG, you just saved me 2 hours work everyday!
• I just had a PhD in Artificial Intelligence and Robotics ask me how to change the date in an Excel workbook. #nftc #fail
• My boss can’t/won’t learn how to unhide columns on excel and I’m taking it personally
• There is only one answer for the amount of excel work i’ve done all day …. LUNCH!
• Discovered you can view two worksheets from the same workbook in Excel AT THE SAME TIME. Cor. #learnedsomethingnew
• "Update the Tracker" is code for "I am storing critical project info in an Excel doc on my local disk."
• Shuffling papers around my desk and opening up new excel files are my most important activities at work
• I love the comments section, full of unimpressed Excel Jedi Knights….”Yeah, but can he do pivot tables?" http://t.co/Fmgm9GuSxh
• Auditing our monthly expenses via Excel, which is broadening my Excel knowledge. It’s also breeding renewed hate for the stupid ribbon menu.
• Throw anything at me, but not a dysfunctional excel worksheet or traffic jam. My brain will go haywire in no time. Aaaa. 2 more days to go
• Spent the whole day geeking in excel; was literally speaking in code. #punintended
• I do love Excel pivot tables. Microsoft’s most useful addition to the world?
• Put’s a smile on my face when my #VBA code works and sorts about 390000 rows for me across 220 sheets in a workbook #excel #mac #office
• Sometimes I open up a blank Excel spreadsheet and type random numbers in it so my boss thinks I’m working. #thuglife
• I wonder which London borough has the most breweries? I can feel an Excel pivot table approaching…
• I’m graduating high school in 2 weeks and I can’t make a graph on excel do you see the problem here?

________

Important food-related questions of the day: Would you rather smell egg salad, or work on this Excel chart? Should you create a chart on an empty stomach?

• If you think Word is merciless, never anger Excel. Hell hath no fury like an incorrect Pivot Table.
• boss commented on how my excel spreadsheet was not captivating. Help
• There’s a weird assumption on the Internet that you can lie with words but not with a graph, as if Excel renders untruths impossible.
• Evening. Things I’ve learnt today: 1. I have no idea how to do pivot tables in Excel 2. I work with some proper idiots 3. I hate Excel
• Don’t create pie graphs on an empty stomach. #excel #accounting #lunchtime
• If anybody is looking to quickly get heartburn, may I recommend attempting to create a column chart in Excel.
• When Excel asks you whether you want to ‘Update Links’ in a spreadsheet sent by someone in Finance, say no immediately. #TIL
• I had to bring my work home with me today, that is a first. but excel spreadsheets are sexy. RIGHT?
• After several emails I have managed to convince someone a year has 12 months not 11. If its in spreadsheet it doesn’t mean its right FFS.
• Meanwhile, finance sent an online tutorial consisting of XP screenshots pasted into an Excel spreadsheet. That sound you hear is ME WEEPING
• Accidentally just hid every column in an excel spreadsheet. Time for caffeine.
• I’d rather be eating a lb of mashed potatoes, smelling egg salad, AND listening to Green Day than doing this excel spreadsheet.
• Today was a ‘write a twelve-page paper and accompanying excel chart, then cry over a beer at Clod’s at 5pm’ kind of day.
• If you ever have the chance to work with an excel spreadsheet that has 34 thousand rows, don’t
• What stupid reflex is it that makes me click "Don’t Save" when shutting down excel? Re-creation is not recreation.
• I really don’t know why an excel pivot table defaults to the count aggregate instead of sum, I almost never care about count
• After a day in the sun and staring at an excel spreadsheet for 3 hours, I think it’s safe to say I’m going to sleep like a rock tonight.
• Who cares if my Excel spreadsheet doesn’t "add properly" or "make sense". Did you see how I nailed the color scheme? It looks awesome!!!

________________

Are you a magician with Excel, or does it depend on the question?

• Weird that almost every online publication uses excel graphs. They’re so ugly.
• When you finally learn how to work on MS Excel, you know you’ve done atleast one thing right in your life.
• One can never have enough Pivot Tables! #microsoft #excel #statistics #data #analysis
• "The most risk I am looking to take in life is running a macro in Excel"- my boss
• If excel was a person, I’d have no problem strangling him/her right now
• I may have been a bit ambitious with PowerPivot – now silently pleading with it not to crash…
• My boss, Mike, needs to stop lying to me. None of your "excel tricks" are fun or exciting #liar
• If you can work excel you’re basically a magician in my eyes.
• Not only are Excel charts ugly, but they often treat you like you don’t understand your own data.
• Excel uses a floppy disk as the icon for "SAVE FILE". Does anyone need more clues to what the problem is with MS products?
• You know that thing where you log in to work at night cos you’ve had ideas about that niggling pivot table problem? No? Lucky bastard.
• Damn you Excel, why you not understand my pseudo-code? If this is true, then sort the data like that!
• I wonder if the rectangular denizens of an Excel worksheet have any idea how trivial it is to duplicate or destroy their plane of existence?
• Hacking like a boss. Not literally of course. It’s not an Excel hack.
• There’s no computer where I’m working right now so I’m fixing some #VB code for #Excel on paper. Having a blast though.
• Excel functions are like making code without the actual feel of programming. It’s frustratingly picky about what it lets me do.
• Boss: "Are you good with Excel?" Me: "Depends on the question.."
• EMERGENCY: Does anyone know how to work with macros in excel? I don’t have time wo watch 50 more tutorials. Please help!!

_________________

What a coincidence! There is an “Excel at the theatre” tweet in this week’s twitter post, here at the Excel Theatre blog. Have a steaming cup of coffee, and see if you can find that tweet.

• you know what Excel. You win for right now. I give up trying to fix these charts
• I have gone spreadsheet crazy trying to figure out my summer budget, including the possibility of a move. Two Words: #ColorCoded Not Joking!
• Went to see "The Reluctant Fundamentalist" and loved it highly recommended. My only problem was a flashback to 2003 had Excel 07 on a laptop
• Excel, thank you for being the default program for CSV files. You really bridge the gap between lazy developers and stupid salespeople. #fb
• Not a fan of Excel all the time, but whoever created the ability to create and play with a pivot table is a genius. #emchat
• I’ve just created a spreadsheet with sums, counts, averages AND charts. I’m both sickened & elated by this. #Excel
• Up pivoting excel data like a boss! #YouThoughtIDidDishes
• My voice just rose an octave in excitement about making a pivot table/chart in excel out of my pedometer data. #easilyexcited #nerd
• I can pivot table out the wazoo but VLookups escape me. I need vlookup intuition 🙁
• That moment excel decides to crash and you lose the last 17minutes of your work…the part where you wrapped everything up w a bow…#fml
• Spending the night with a large hot coffee, a script and an excel spreadsheet #techAnalysis #stagemanagerheaven #theatrelife
• is it okay if I say I think the interface to Excel charts could be improved?
• I will never be able to plot a successful graph on excel #impossible
• dad-can you enter a these forms into an excel program for me…you’ll be able to do it faster. Me-No problem. Dad-here are the 400 forms.
• I seriously feel like a genius right now because I figured out this flow chart thing for micro! And did it in excel!
• Almost made a $1.8M (to the bad) spreadsheet error on the preliminary budget. Pointed at the wrong cell. Found it before the meeting. *whew*
• All fun and games until word and excel decide to not work when I’m trying to make graphs and charts all over the place. #allgoingwrong
• Call me an Excel geek, but you know what never gets old? Clicking on a cell in a pivot table and getting the detail behind it. #alwaysawow

__________

Would you rather have a spreadsheet full of statistics, or one with film choices?

• Been at work 30 minutes and already locked up my Excel spreadsheet #goingtobealongday
• OMG, IS EXCEL STUPID OR STUBBORN?! stop changing my 1/3 into 1-mar!!!! i’m not typing the date!!!!!!!! :@@
• My bosses love my excel spreadsheet checks: =IF(J15<TODAY(),"error: come on old man, this isn’t Back To The Future","okay")
• Part of me expects my dekstop monitor to crack every time I tell this Excel workbook to re-calculate.
• Good news guys I fixed the code in the excel sheet I screwed up three days ago. Productive week.
• I don’t judge people by skin color or religion or gender…but I do get a little impatient if they can’t create a competent excel spreadsheet…
• My favorite ever excel formula is 33 characters too long to tweet. I love =countifs ! marvelous discovery for me 🙂
• Blowers. A brew. A massive excel spreadsheet full of statistics. Absolute bliss.
• "Finance people love Excel. If you give them data in JPEG, they’ll find a way to get it into Excel." #sapphirenow #BI #truestory
• This excel spreadsheet is possessed!
• My boss towards Excel: "what do you mean ‘N/A’?!? I hate you ‘N/A’!!!!!"
• Is there any freaking reason other than perversity why it’s so hard to lock cells in an Excel worksheet?
• Film night with my husband’s work colleagues. Just been emailed a spreadsheet of possible viewing choices. That’s scientists for you!
• My Boss recently completed ‘Excel for Dummies". Now, the rest of us are reading "The Dummy Unleashed."
• I am so bad at using Excel that I need to finish up the pie-chart using Photoshop. Why isn’t the title showing?!
• I just created my first pivot table in Excel. In related news, one of my tattoos just said "eff this noise" and left for someone cool.
• This is honestly a sentence I never thought I’d say… I love pivot tables #excel #whoamI
• I think I’m coming down with Spreadsheet Madness. #officediseases

__________

You might have to wait 20 minutes or 20 years, or go Back to the Future with Biff, eventually something exciting will happen in Excel.

• This excel spreadsheet can do formulas I don’t understand. Not long until the robots take over.
• "Minor loss of fidelity" reports MS Excel… as long as my spreadsheet works, I don’t care what it gets up to after hours.
• Solved the Excel problem on the train with a little help from Daft Punk. Feel like an absolute champion, nobody here to celebrate with.
• Would like to thank my pivot table for counting the data rather than adding it together for the last 3 months. #excelrelatedrage
• Excel, if you’re going to lock up my whole computer while you run a 20 minute long script, at least have the decency to work first time!
• How about instead of "pivot table field name is not valid" say "rename your columns". This simple fix is nowhere to be found on MS site
• I am the smartest man alive! After using Excel for 20+ years, I finally learned how to scale a large worksheet to fit on one printed page.
• That chill down ur spine when Excel prompts "Wanna save changes to this spreadsheet" and u could swear u didnt make any changes! #banking
• Spending my night with excel…pivoting away. #work
• Hmm…my code just threw a BiffException. I’m picturing 1955 Biff telling my Excel file to make like a tree and get out of here
• I wonder if you can get an electronic picture frame that shows tabs of an excel spreadsheet.
• And as I arrive to row 984 of an Excel spreadsheet, Spotify shifts to "I Can’t Make You Love Me" and the office AC crescendos
• I don’t even know if excel is the best way to do this. It’s what my boss wants – I’m not an excel wizard and Google isn’t helping.
• there is no way an excel spreadsheet will put a smile like that on your face. just sayin.
• Which one of you nerd–I mean good people can help me with an Excel problem? This is time sensitive.
• Dinner (toast w/peanut butter) and a spreadsheet. Yep that’s how I roll #jealous?
• Things you learn at 2 am- you can identify brain regions that aid in the production of anxiety but can’t work excel. #finals
• In other news, Excel class was cancelled today. No hope of me making any complicated pivot tables tonight. I know you’re disappointed.

_______________

If you can crash Excel with 1000 lines of data, what will happen if you use 5465485213214 functions? Maybe Google knows.

• work went well =3= aside for falling prey to the old hide workbook vs hide cell mistake in excel and having a heart attack for a full minute
• Just pulling tons of data today. Feel like I should be eating lunch on a pivot table. #nerdjoke #notfunny #losingmymind #TGIT
• Solved an excel problem that was bothering me forever. Deans leadership award. Bills season tickets. BEST DAY EVER.
• Stupidly tried using Excel Help to find out how to do something to a workbook. Quickly realised should have just gone to Google.
• Just spent close to an hour creating an excel worksheet to calculate different final grade scenarios… instead of studying
• Considering the amount of time I have spent on this Excel workbook, best believe I am locking each and every single sheet individually!
• During a phone interview….she ask "Do you knw what a pivot table is?" I said "Hold on let me look that up online."
• i can’t plot a scatter chart in excel without yelling ‘SCATTERRRRRR’ as i click insert chart and it’s starting to become a problem
• I just want to find duplicates in Excel. You have to perform no less than 5465485213214 functions to do this. Stupid, stupid program.
• Quite proud of the beautiful excel spreadsheet I created to keep track of my office hockey pool #justsayin
• I’ve fallen into the horrific bracket of people who look you straight in the eye and say "Oh, I do love a good Excel spreadsheet."#adminnerd
• Had a strange dream with an exorcist. Also an excel spreadsheet. Both were equally frightening!! #nightmares
• I just spent 1 hour of my life, looking for an error in a formula in Excel. The moron had a space before the decimal point in a number #FML
• I crashed Excel trying to graph over 1000 lines of data. I feel weirdly accomplished.
• why is the #powerpivot ‘stop import’ button positioned just in the same place as the ‘finish’ button? #usability
• I’ll spend 20 minutes formatting an excel document instead of actually doing the work #Procrastination
• After drawing 4 graphs on excel, I THINK I DESERVE A BREAK.
• Hah! I accidentally made a pivot table do exactly what I wanted! I am the luckiest in the office, oh yes I am 🙂 :buys lottery ticket:

_____________

Nap or spreadsheet? That is the question. Maybe 2500 popup messages, and a bit of rap, will wake you up.

• Yesterday I watched 5 people huddle around a computer for 40 minutes trying to make a graph using Microsoft word because excel was too hard.
• Problem with a big lunch is you feel like taking a nap straight after. Good thing I’ve got something exciting to do like staring at excel..
• One of my favourite things about Excel 2013 is that a new file now contains a logical 1 worksheet by default rather than an arbitrary 3.
• Nap or continue my excel spreadsheet? I’m leaning towards a nap.
• I learned more about excel in the last week week (by building an epic workbook) than I did in the last ten years. Still hate excel, though.
• The Treaty of Versailles is basically all I learnt in high school. Oh and how to make a spreadsheet
• Sometimes, when I hit the Wrap Text tab in Microsoft Excel, I rap the text in my head. Most of the time, it doesnt work, but when it does..
• Life can be explained In a 2×2 cross tab, 4 quadrants, 5 slides and a pivot table.
• Learning pivot tables in MS Excel easily makes me more powerful than Batman
• They’re talking about a coding error in excel as if it’s possible to code in excel.
• Today the Excel sheet seems melancholy, somehow. Listening to the soundtrack to Amélie as I work to fill its millions of empty cells.
• Fun fact: an excel document can hold exactly 1,048,576 rows. Unfun fact: I’ve had to sift through 5 full spreadsheets today #fml
• Finally figured out an excel problem that I have been stuck on for two days. I feel like a genius
• Attempting to write a code in excel and I accidentally made 2500 message boxes pop up at once **** #COBproblems
• i didn´t even know excel spreadsheets could be this horrifying. so much formatting. so many sheets in one workbook.
• Big boss just recommended everyone to find me if they need help with excel or minitab. There goes my peace. -.-
• There’s major problems with everyone I work with when I’m the number one problem solver in the office. I don’t even know how to work excel
• I’m starting a new street crew. Looking for a place to get leather and/or denim jackets in bulk & also a guy who knows how to work Excel.

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Did Mr. Rogers teach you how to make pie charts? Probably not, but he can still make you feel better when things go wrong in Excel. Remember – you are special!

• boss just called my excel project the "Model-T" of spreadsheets. not a compliment.
• I’m rich! I’m rich! I’m rich! Wait. Never mind. Stupid Excel.
• Just used my first Excel Macro. Like a boss. A nerdy boss who spends too much time on doing data entry.
• Nerding out hardcore over the pivot table shenanigans I just pulled. Data!
• I was going to attempt to drink less coffee, but then I had to work on an Excel spreadsheet.
• My dad is seriously making me make an excel spreadsheet with graphs and charts on why I should get an iPhone..
• I’m wearing a Mr. Rogers shirt. It’s the only thing stopping me from crying while doing this stupid excel science project.
• Today I reached a new low, not just staying at wrk ’till 8pm, but being really happy I did an awesome excel chart. What have I become?!
• When your PhD friends are out saving the world and you’re like, "I know what a pivot table is." #excelninja #publicaccounting
• Code something difficult, no one cares. Make an excel spreadsheet look pretty "wow, what amazing work you’ve done!" #MathMajorProblems
• I always knew Excel graphs would be the death of me. always.
• Daughter came home from 2nd grade & showed me how to create a pie chart using Excel. Man, things have changed. I only played Oregon Trail.
• I always thought excel is easy, until boss asks me to create a formula. ??!!
• When will we get The Great British Spreadsheet Bee? One and a half hours to create a pivot table with a graph?
• my boss asks me to go into his office 3x per day so he can show me how he’s finally "figured out" excel …
• I’ve never felt this computer illiterate in my life.. Stupid Excel.
• You know you’re in trouble when you’ve forgotten how to make line graphs on Excel and need to watch tutorials …
• Why hello Excel. Prepare to be 0wned! Not on a pivot table level or anything. More on like a what a marketer can do level. Like sorting.

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Just sit there and look good. If you create a pivot table, it might cause an earthquake. Or a rainbow.

• im going to sit here and cry until all 5 million of these excel graphs fix themselves #productive
• A days worth of excel training and now I can colour code sheets! #rainbows
• My Excel skills are laughably bad. Charts? Graphs? Formulas? Goooood joke
• Working in an office is mostly figuring out how to toggle between Gchat and Microsoft Excel without your boss noticing.
• And for the record, a "pdf spreadsheet" is not a thing.
• Just said circular reference warning in public. Only people who know excel know what I mean #FML
• I am having a pivot table melt down, this is not how i saw my life
• Leslie has started a spreadsheet where she records what we eat each night and what we liked about it.
• Got to share my story as well.. While inserting the pivot table in my report suddenly an earthquake!!! booooom!!!
• I thought I was a boss at Excel. Today I met a god.
• As a teen I use to think excel can process huge volume of data Now I can say Descent volume of data Filter Pivot n Excel cries like a baby
• Have now written the same chunk of code three times ‘cos Excel is throwing a hissy fit when I try to save. :o(
• My boss: "You don’t need to be messing around in Excel." Brill, I’ll just sit here and look good
• I’ve done nothing but listen to Black Sabbath at work today. This Excel sheet is brought to you by Satan.
• Excel said it can’t execute code while in break mode. I don’t understand – We use robots because they don’t get breaks! Or overtime
• OOH! I get to go to 2 days of Excel training for work! This is the most excited I’ve been about a work related thing since…well, ever.
• the only benefit from my computer class in high school is that my 60+ aged boss thinks what I do is perfect. #excel
• Me and every interaction with excel: "Oops. Maybe if I-nope. If I click this here-nope. I don’t know how graphs work. Yes I got it! Nope"

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Macros will not explode your Excel workbooks (usually!), and they are more impressive than Lucky Charms shapes.

• Dang. Just received an #Excel workbook that puts all mine to shame. #funwithdata #nerdalicious
• The highlight of my day was finding an Excel shortcut that saved me hours of work. Nerdy? I don’t care.
• Nothing screams wild like a holiday itinerary via the art of an excel spreadsheet. Yup, I just went there…
• There are 4 files under my "Open Recent" tab in Excel: 2 bachelor party guest lists, the bball scholarship chart andd the Big33 OH roster.
• Breaking my head with Pivot table and macros. I managed a B- or C+ the excel modelling paper copying from the next fella 🙁
• Ah, hello default Excel chart palette in a paper I’m reviewing. Is there a macro to change data points to Lucky Charms shapes?
• Transferring an excel data chart into word w/o grid lines. ‘When in doubt, white it out’.
• Hey guys did you know that staring at excel spreadsheets for hours takes away your ability to count and do simple math? #FML
• On an Excel course. Always been taught to be scared of macros and using them would blow up your workbook. But they aren’t! 😉
• My boss is the type to have 4 different fonts, sizes, alignment, etc on an excel chart for no reason. It drives me insane.
• Why can’t excel just do what I want it to? It’s like I’m the mom and it’s my stupid, good for nothing, hormonal, teenage daughter.
• A week later, Pivot table still not done despite reading Excel for dummies religiously. On the plus side, I love working nights.
• Microsoft Excel: where your dreams are crushed into easy-to-organize cells, charts, graphs, etc.
• When I close my eyes to sleep I have an excel spreadsheet burned into my vision… thats normal right?
• There should be an international holiday dedicated to the Excel Pivot Table
• “An Excel spreadsheet is probably the best way to store this information.” – OLD people
• 13 years breaking complex applications; never impressed my boss. Today I made a pivot table in Excel and he thinks I’m a goddamned genius.
• Why is my Dad telling me I should learn how to do graphs on excel in my spare time?? #thanksbutnothanks ****

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You can learn all kinds of useful Excel tricks on YouTube, but I haven’t seen any cake chart tutorials there.

• When making excel charts becomes exciting its time to go outside
• The NCAA’s online stream ‘boss button’ is greatly improved over the previous blank Excel spreadsheet.
• saying that i know pivot table during the interview was a….bad decision
• I forgot how to make pie charts in Excel. Don’t tell LinkedIn.
• Anyone else get the warm and fuzzies when they get to color-code their Excel sheets? No? You sure? *sigh* Fine. #geekygoodness
• I had a dream last night that I killed a man and then my boss found out but then fixed it by making an economic model in excel.
• Just think, in a few years these plucky young players from Harvard will be right sizing your company via Pivot Table. Go Crimson!
• Boss says he’s going to restrict my computer access to Excel until I complete an expense form…
• There are few things more relaxing than making a pivot table and reflecting on how much damn time you saved summing things by week.
• Anybody who thinks fantasy baseball isn’t cool, must have missed me entering data into an Excel spreadsheet for three hours. #cooldude
• Someone found my blog by googling "How to make cake charts in Excel?" #piecharthumor
• Boss : Your excel sheets are so colorful! :OMe : * #ilovecolors *Colorful #OfficeDiaries 🙂
• Been staring at stock charts and excel files for the past 15 hours it’s about time to crack a 6 pack, listen to some lil Wayne n sleep
• You don’t know how to create radar graphs in Excel? Please explain how that’s my problem.
• My boss for real thinks I’m some kind of genius in Excel. Thanks, YouTube.
• It takes Alice 45 minutes to code 32 trials into Excel. With 512 to go, how long before she loses her mind? I don’t know. My name is Fred.
• Pivot Tables from multiple consolidation ranges are probably about the least useful feature of MS Excel.
• "They look sexy as hell but they are worthless!" Yup, my professer just said that about charts on Excel.

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