Would you rather work on an Excel worksheet with a textured background image, or a long, green boring one? An Alexander Keith’s might kill the boredom, but couldn’t block out the scary background.
- Should you be worried when you start talking to your spreadsheet? #insanity
- Way to have worst client moments from the in-house IT guy who envisions textured background image on an Excel spreadsheet. #facepalm #design
- Stomach stopped screaming at me, time to do what really makes me happy: kicking Excel’s ass while jamming to Pandora.
- MS Excel has betrayed me.
- What’s long, green, boring and needs a software engineering degree to modify? An excel spreadsheet, apparently.
- Staring at my excel sheet waiting for it to fix itself… Feel completely uninspired #ugh
- I did an entire Excel spreadsheet with macros and conditional formatting in my dreams. I need to get out more often.
- Here I am writing really bad VBA code, and thinking – this is just as bad as creating a bad Excel spreadsheet. I must learn to code better.
- Dear Excel – You are complicated but I still love you!
- …and then i closed the excel worksheet i was working on WITHOUT saving it!!!
- An Alexander Keith’s IPA is accompanying working on an Excel spreadsheet of my mother’s income over 11 years.
- I just stayed up until 6:00 AM doing Excel work for my volunteer program at the hospital. #nowtimeforhomework #FML #bettergetaletterofrec
- Rocking out the Excel spreadsheet with dates and times of things I want to do in Atlanta. #nerd
- listening to older women struggle w/ using MS Excel. "this pivot table won’t refresh" lol. i’m going to have to help them cuz its annoying!
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Yes, it’s great to work from home, but you might need a black belt in Excel, to convince your employer that it’s a good idea. Or make a mean latte.
Man vs. Excel? Harry Potter vs. Spreadsheet? Is that how the world will end? Or will it just fizzle out in a wet week? We’ve had plenty of those lately.
Are you really a man if you know how to use HLOOKUP and a pivot table? Or do you also need to know how to create a football spreadsheet?
Put on your glasses, and guess that Excel password, if you dare! I’d rather spend the time admiring my pivot table’s awesomeness.
Maybe that spreadsheet had so many colours that it looked like the dog’s breakfast, and that’s why the dog ate it!
You might go broke if you buy a new computer every time Excel slows down. Use that waiting time to write poetry or draw up your house plans.
Not much Excel activity over the weekend. Perhaps everyone was waiting for the Rapture, and postponing those school and work projects.
Maybe you should wait until after the rapture to teach your mom Excel and worry about those deleted worksheets. In the meantime, have some coffee and colour your worksheets.
That 8-year-old could probably figure out a way to monetize staring at a spreadsheet. Let’s hope that she doesn’t end up working for the government!
When was the last time you were rewarded for your good work in Excel? Did you get a nice bonus cheque, or some jajangmyun? Yes, I had to Google that! 
Hell might be one long Excel spreadsheet, but our Hair should look good! And it can’t be worse than creative advertising.
Excel shouldn’t make you cry. Maybe the tears were caused by too much Red Bull, or a bad weather forecast.
If you want some time off next weekend, to watch baseball, don’t tell people that you know how to use Excel. Or claim that it’s given you carpal tunnel syndrome, and you can’t work!
Chef vs. Excel – now that would be an awesome show for the Food Channel. Who would win the Bar Chart throwdown?
Don’t get distracted by a Hot Pocket commercial, or you might end up checking Excel data in your next life – in Office 2011, in a VM.
The opposite of Excel VBA efficiency is using a shared Excel workbook. Probably an overpaid consultant recommended it.
Excel is a wonderful tool for uniting nerds. And yes, that includes moms, trains full of businessmen, and Iron Maiden. Now, get back to your highly paid job of making Excel pretty!
Are your shopping lists colour-coded and sorted in Excel? Silly question, I know.
Is it possible for a pivot table to be too smart? Let’s ask Excel – it’s smarter than we are! Or maybe the dancing hippo has an opinion.
It’s great when the week ends with awesome reports in Excel, instead of a “head meets desk” moment.
If you need to liven up your Friday, try a three-part Excel formula, or a pivot table song.
Excel gets love letters and hate-filled odes, gushing compliments and stinging insults. But it’s all worthwhile, if you get to work on a crazy wok project. (I hope that’s not a typo for work!)
May the 4th be with you! Yes, it’s a bad joke, but worth mentioning once a year. And in Excel, the force is in the pivot tables.
Would you rather have Excel mentioned in your eulogy, or LOLCats? That’s an easy decision, unlike the choice you might have had, if you voted yesterday.
Yes, if you have more champagne, that spreadsheet will balance. Or it will fix itself. Well, that’s the way I remember it!
Like everything else, Excel had to compete with the Royal Wedding for attention yesterday. Some welcomed the break, and others ignored it.
Even if your glasses are bothering you, never mock the spreadsheet! It might retaliate by crashing, or giving you vertigo.
Yes, Excel has become a bloated pig, compared to the earliest versions, but if your 81-year-old mother can deal with it, so can you!
I use Excel for meal planning and recipe calculations, but didn’t realize you can use it to cook the books too!
Volunteering is a great way to learn about Excel, and building an NFL spreadsheet is good practice – even if you don’t get to use it. 
What’s your biggest problem with Excel? Not enough colours? The default font? Your boss?
Excel can be fun on the weekend too – fill your days with puzzles, colouring and sheep-induced naps.
No, Twitter is not Excel, but it’s easy to waste a day in either place. Twitter rarely crashes, but you’ll feel awesome when you master Excel.
Poor students! Don’t they suffer enough, without having to learn Excel too? Their teacher is being irrational!