Category: Excel Humor

Excel Twitter 20140307

imageIf you take too many naps while using Excel, you’ll never level up. Stay awake, and don’t leave those charts in the default colours!

  • I have no motivation to do this excel work today. Maybe tomorrow
  • I’ve been running on a treadmill of bugs coming from a code base written before my time.. in… Excel VBA… This is exhausting #programming
  • Why don’t parents just force their kids to work on excel spreadsheets when they want them to fall asleep? Works for me every time…
  • the way my boss explains items on an excel sheet is like she is teaching a computer class at the local senior citizens center. #workfail
  • Hell: Where sinners are made to forcibly work with bug ridden packages like excel all day/nite long
  • Only one hour of work they said. I’ve been busy for three hours. Excel hates me.
  • That #grownup feeling you get when your Excel spreadsheet formatting works #likeaboss. Dang I need to do something young and stupid quick
  • I’m so proud of the complicated excel graph I just made I may just Instagram it
  • I just leveled up in Excel – learning how to create control charts moved me from Excelorator to Excellent!
  • My boss is trying to create a formula on excel and he just got annoyed and said: “How is £4 minus 10%… The 3rd of January?”
  • Questioning physics and life as I stare at excel trying to figure out how to make my graph work #nothappening
  • One of my favorite things about work is old people debating on whether or not they did the right thing in Excel.
  • As much as we bag on excel, I think a lot of corporate America could save a lot of money if they just learned how to use a pivot table.
  • You’ve got to be kidding me. Charts in Excel 2013 do not maintain full integrity in Excel 2010. Let hours of pointless doublework commence.
  • Biggest disappointment of the day: Finding out that the cool tricks I learned in Excel wont work at work because it’s MS Office 2003.
  • Remember when I thought a pivot table was a piece of upholstery?
  • Boss sent an excel doc. He’s now sending me names individually to input and then send it back. How’s this ANY easier than doing it himself?
  • Hush, you. Keep this up and you’ll remove the best indicator of poor data analysis: a bar graph in Excel’s default colors.

Best indicator of poor data analysis: a bar graph in Excel’s default colors exceltheatre.com/blog

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Excel Twitter 20140228

imageYou’d better brush up on Excel, so you’ll look like a genius. Otherwise, your family could be torn apart, and the dog’s weight could skyrocket. Oh, and you might end up as a stripper.

  • A pivot table saves the day once again. And I get to look like a genius.
  • Sad when the highlight of your night is when you learn how to switch between tabs in an Excel workbook…
  • now my boss and his bro the IT guy are fighting about how to use microsoft excel. i hope you are happy microsoft. TEARING A FAMILY APART!!!
  • My colleague is using a calculator to work out sums and putting the answers into excel. Yes, this is the level of idiocy I work with :-/
  • Why am I learning how to make stupid applications on excel. How is this going to help me in life.
  • Can’t believe I just voluntarily played with Excel for 45 mins. And still didn’t manage to chart the dog’s weight. Grr. #senileoldbat
  • Sends boss huge excel file. Only looks at first tab. Asks me to send those cool charts I have on my computer. Why do I even bother?
  • So much Excel work so little time
  • My boss just told me to “brush up on Excel”. So tomorrow should be fun
  • I think I’ve crossed some kind of nerd threshold. I’m starting to get really excited when I open an awesome Excel pivot table.
  • I just changed some Visual Basic code in Excel and it didn’t crash! Y’all don’t know how excited that makes me!
  • Excel, it’s not going to work out between us. It’s not me, it’s you. YOU DIFFICULT PROGRAM.
  • On the contrary, a pleasant interlude from the nightmare of Excel pivot charts :0)
  • “In Excel, your worksheet is the sheet in which you work.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW
  • Internet went down at work. Had to use a book to search for an Excel function #oldschool
  • 4 years of Engineering and they don’t teach you the thing you need the most at work, MS EXCEL.
  • You might argue that maybe Excel should have mechanisms to avoid the tanking of 10+ hours work by a well meaning fool.
  • I’ll be forced to quit school and become a stripper because I don’t know how to work excel and I’m a failure.

A pivot table saves the day once again exceltheatre.com/blog/

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Excel Twitter 20140221

imageWere you supposed to delete all those cells? Will your co-worker delete all your Excel changes? Is a spreadsheet the answer to any problem?

  • Took an entire class on excel back in the day and now it’s like I’m trying to decipher the da vinci code
  • Ha just spent two hours on excel making charts to find I used the wrong numbers I HATE MATH AND TECHNOLOGY
  • I wonder if my co-worker will save over all of my work on the shared Excel spreadsheet again today.
  • The best way to hide something in plain sight is to create another workbook in Excel.
  • Helping wife with excel charts at dinner table, now that’s romance
  • Today’s work is brought to you by the excel function COUNTIFS and the number *crunch*
  • I don’t want to brag, but I make a mean pivot table.
  • If you would just listen to the professor you wouldn’t be asking such stupid questions. It’s not hard to graph in excel. Pay attention.
  • If anyone is curious how to turn a 400kb excel document into a 12,000kb workbook with a single macro, hit me up.
  • How does an ordinary human being work on excel on a laptop. What am I missing.
  • The majority of time I spend writing post-labs is dedicated to formatting charts in Excel. ????
  • Emily’s thoughts during work: I hope I was supposed to delete all those cells on excel… #didijustgetfired ?
  • hypothetically, if you had told someone you could do a pivot table but you couldn’t, how would you learn? In say, an hour?
  • Excel conditional formatting. For when you can’t be arsed to work out which number is larger by reading them
  • The image in my mind the first time I heard the term “pivot table” is far more exciting than struggling with the real thing.
  • 49-year-old me is too stupid to make the chart she wants in Excel. 28-year-old me looks on in disgust. I have become Management.
  • My boss’s answer to ANY problem is to somehow make an excel spreadsheet that miraclulously fixes it.
  • Hallpppp, I can’t figure out my Pivot Table this morning. I thought I was like the Lord of Excel until this morning. #pathetic #strugglebus

The answer to ANY problem is an Excel spreadsheet. www.exceltheatre.com/blog/

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Excel Twitter 20140214

I love Excel www.exceltheatre.com/blogHappy Valentine’s Day! I hope you’re spending time with the love of your life – Excel. Did you remember to buy a gift for your favourite function, and a a bouquet for that awesome pivot table?

  • Excel needs a turbo button for processor-intense functions. Doesn’t need to work…I’d just feel better if I could press a button.
  • Microsoft doesn’t get a lot of love, but I gotta say Excel is a marvelous piece of work.
  • I don’t mean to brag, but it only took me 25 minutes to build a simple line graph in Excel just now.
  • Been staring at this Excel code for over two hours. One line of it. Yup, this is usually how it works, huh?
  • Someone at work asked me what my favorite excel function is…. Sad part is I actually have one
  • Some people do crossword puzzles to relax… I write Excel VBA Code and build dynamic Excel Dashboards. LOL
  • There are very few things that make me angry enough to put my fist through a wall, but Excel hanging after 45 minutes of work does it.
  • I just lost ALL my work coz Excel randomly re-started .. All my winter projections, gone! I am on twitter instead of re-doing it:((
  • Yes excel, please crash at 530, taking my last 2 hours of work with you, and then please refuse to autorecover my work…
  • My saving grace is that I can listen to music at work! Imagine looking at thousands of rows of excel in dead silence. #itllmakeyougocrazy ??
  • Stop what you’re doing. I just made a graph in excel with minimal help!!!! Unbelievable scenes
  • Making charts on excel is harder than the rest of the formal lab put together
  • Beginning to think Microsoft Excel was created to test patience and weed out people not meant for the grind #fml #corporateamericasucks
  • dad: “yeah let’s do that! that’ll be fun!” mom: “what go sleigh riding?!” dad: “no, making a pivot table!!” #whereigetitfrom
  • Googling “I overprotected an excel workbook” because you can’t figure out how to undo it. #postgradproblems #dataproblems
  • My boss told me I had Excel face. It’s like bitchy resting face but happens after staring at a spreadsheet for over 5 hours.
  • Every time i try to get something at work done excel decides to “not respond” ??
  • my computer skills class should really be listed as “how to make heinously tacky excel charts 101”
  • I won’t feel safe until there’s at least one pivot table.

I won't feel safe until there's at least one pivot table www.exceltheatre.com/blog

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Excel Twitter 20140207

imageEven if you didn’t major in Excel, a pivot table can change your life forever. And Excel charts can make you dance.

  • You would think after years of looking up how to make a graph on Excel I would remember how one of these time. #Nope
  • I’m converting everything to Excel because I want to work smarter and not harder.
  • Last night I had cookies. Today I have a brand new excel sheet to work on. Today will be a good day.
  • Petition to swap Excel for Lego at work. “I made you a spreadsheet; it has 2,367 pieces”
  • once had 20min conv with th’ol’man re Excel, turned out he just had to widen column. Was asked same thing in work today… #scauseconfusion!
  • Who knew cracking an excel password was so easy, few lines of code then Bam! College computing taught me something after all
  • Saw a grown man make an Excel chart and then dance like he was “raising the roof” tonight. #celebratorybarcharts #proudclassmate
  • Today’s lesson: if you ask Excel to calculate and graph every cell from 1 to infinity, there’s a very good chance it will crash on you
  • Microsoft Excel’s favorite prank: Waiting until I’m trying to close down and get out between downpours and freezing so I can’t save my work.
  • I can’t wait to get home from work so I can play with excel till the last hours of the morning… #Igetthegeekinessfrommysupercooldad
  • I just learned how to do a pivot table in Excel and my life is forever changed. #nerdalert
  • Can’t believe I made an excel formula to basically do my job for me and nobody has even clicked on. Chilled like a boss #paidtolookpretty
  • I don’t know why I expected to be doing actual work with insurance related things when I graduated. Should’ve majored in Excel.
  • Excel has 17 billion cells/sheet. Who was working and was like “ugh this is way to small. Can we make it like 16 billion? that should work”
  • Curing work fatigue by matching the colour scheme of my excel file with my outfit colour.
  • I can’t get my nested IF formula to work so I’m going home!! #excel
  • Anyone else ever just open an excel file and tap the direction keys to make it look & sounds like work?!? #officeTweet
  • my mom was a financial analyst for years so i assumed she knew how to use excel to make charts and things but nope. “I was before computers”

I should have majored in Excel www.exceltheatre.com/blog

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Excel Twitter 20140131

Excel says "Wow, that's a big workbook" like it's coming on to me exceltheatre.comDon’t let Excel cut into your nap time, and don’t fall for its pickup lines. Before you know it, you’ll find yourself in a café, making charts.

  • I could be sleeping or watching netflix, but no I’m learning how to work excel.
  • When did they change Excel so that making a pie chart is more excruciating than standing on lego?
  • New boss just asked me if I was any good at Excel. Not sure if should feign ignorance on this one
  • Completed 1st #Excel course at work yesterday & already feel like the #HarryPotter of Excel. Accio data validation! Wingardium pivot table!
  • “The Excel baseline” to me is the true test of a business application’s usability. Do users prefer to work in Excel over your software?
  • Professor said “use a pivot table” and I started having internship PTSD. #thestruggle
  • Today I taught a physio how to refresh a pivot table. This will apparently revolutionise how patient reviews are managed. #infointoaction
  • Have I mentioned that I once took 8hrs to draw up a chart on excel? I was sweating and all by the end of it but it was perfect.
  • My long-term love affair with Excel is being jeopardised by attempts to create a box-and-whisker chart #wrongtoolsforthejob
  • Hey people at work: why are you so terrible at filling out an excel spreadsheet correctly?! Fixing other people’s data problems since 2012.
  • Still cracks me up when Excel says “Wow, that’s a big workbook” like it’s coming onto me
  • If you are a data nerd, you already know Excel sucks and should have a work around. Otherwise, you aren’t a data nerd. #nerd
  • Doing a gantt chart is easy. Unless you’re doing it on excel. And you don’t know how to use excel. Then its a nightmare.
  • Prof just said “if you don’t show work and use excel instead, even though it might take you less time, you will get 50%” That makes sense
  • In a cafe, making Excel charts. You? ; )
  • Geeky moment here but I just got my first Macro on Excel to work! BOOM
  • Did you know that by Day 3 in a migraine, Excel becomes actually three-dimensional? You should SEE this pie chart I just made vibrate.
  • Numbers is a spreadsheet for people who don’t like spreadsheets in same way that not having a car is a car for people who don’t like cars
  • Hey guy next to me, no I don’t think it’s cute that you don’t know how to create a graph on Excel. Being stupid is NOT cute.

Excel says "Wow, that's a big workbook" like it's coming on to me exceltheatre.com

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