Category: Excel Humor

Would you rather have a spreadsheet full of statistics, or one with film choices?

• Been at work 30 minutes and already locked up my Excel spreadsheet #goingtobealongday
• OMG, IS EXCEL STUPID OR STUBBORN?! stop changing my 1/3 into 1-mar!!!! i’m not typing the date!!!!!!!! :@@
• My bosses love my excel spreadsheet checks: =IF(J15<TODAY(),"error: come on old man, this isn’t Back To The Future","okay")
• Part of me expects my dekstop monitor to crack every time I tell this Excel workbook to re-calculate.
• Good news guys I fixed the code in the excel sheet I screwed up three days ago. Productive week.
• I don’t judge people by skin color or religion or gender…but I do get a little impatient if they can’t create a competent excel spreadsheet…
• My favorite ever excel formula is 33 characters too long to tweet. I love =countifs ! marvelous discovery for me 🙂
• Blowers. A brew. A massive excel spreadsheet full of statistics. Absolute bliss.
• "Finance people love Excel. If you give them data in JPEG, they’ll find a way to get it into Excel." #sapphirenow #BI #truestory
• This excel spreadsheet is possessed!
• My boss towards Excel: "what do you mean ‘N/A’?!? I hate you ‘N/A’!!!!!"
• Is there any freaking reason other than perversity why it’s so hard to lock cells in an Excel worksheet?
• Film night with my husband’s work colleagues. Just been emailed a spreadsheet of possible viewing choices. That’s scientists for you!
• My Boss recently completed ‘Excel for Dummies". Now, the rest of us are reading "The Dummy Unleashed."
• I am so bad at using Excel that I need to finish up the pie-chart using Photoshop. Why isn’t the title showing?!
• I just created my first pivot table in Excel. In related news, one of my tattoos just said "eff this noise" and left for someone cool.
• This is honestly a sentence I never thought I’d say… I love pivot tables #excel #whoamI
• I think I’m coming down with Spreadsheet Madness. #officediseases

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You might have to wait 20 minutes or 20 years, or go Back to the Future with Biff, eventually something exciting will happen in Excel.

• This excel spreadsheet can do formulas I don’t understand. Not long until the robots take over.
• "Minor loss of fidelity" reports MS Excel… as long as my spreadsheet works, I don’t care what it gets up to after hours.
• Solved the Excel problem on the train with a little help from Daft Punk. Feel like an absolute champion, nobody here to celebrate with.
• Would like to thank my pivot table for counting the data rather than adding it together for the last 3 months. #excelrelatedrage
• Excel, if you’re going to lock up my whole computer while you run a 20 minute long script, at least have the decency to work first time!
• How about instead of "pivot table field name is not valid" say "rename your columns". This simple fix is nowhere to be found on MS site
• I am the smartest man alive! After using Excel for 20+ years, I finally learned how to scale a large worksheet to fit on one printed page.
• That chill down ur spine when Excel prompts "Wanna save changes to this spreadsheet" and u could swear u didnt make any changes! #banking
• Spending my night with excel…pivoting away. #work
• Hmm…my code just threw a BiffException. I’m picturing 1955 Biff telling my Excel file to make like a tree and get out of here
• I wonder if you can get an electronic picture frame that shows tabs of an excel spreadsheet.
• And as I arrive to row 984 of an Excel spreadsheet, Spotify shifts to "I Can’t Make You Love Me" and the office AC crescendos
• I don’t even know if excel is the best way to do this. It’s what my boss wants – I’m not an excel wizard and Google isn’t helping.
• there is no way an excel spreadsheet will put a smile like that on your face. just sayin.
• Which one of you nerd–I mean good people can help me with an Excel problem? This is time sensitive.
• Dinner (toast w/peanut butter) and a spreadsheet. Yep that’s how I roll #jealous?
• Things you learn at 2 am- you can identify brain regions that aid in the production of anxiety but can’t work excel. #finals
• In other news, Excel class was cancelled today. No hope of me making any complicated pivot tables tonight. I know you’re disappointed.

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If you can crash Excel with 1000 lines of data, what will happen if you use 5465485213214 functions? Maybe Google knows.

• work went well =3= aside for falling prey to the old hide workbook vs hide cell mistake in excel and having a heart attack for a full minute
• Just pulling tons of data today. Feel like I should be eating lunch on a pivot table. #nerdjoke #notfunny #losingmymind #TGIT
• Solved an excel problem that was bothering me forever. Deans leadership award. Bills season tickets. BEST DAY EVER.
• Stupidly tried using Excel Help to find out how to do something to a workbook. Quickly realised should have just gone to Google.
• Just spent close to an hour creating an excel worksheet to calculate different final grade scenarios… instead of studying
• Considering the amount of time I have spent on this Excel workbook, best believe I am locking each and every single sheet individually!
• During a phone interview….she ask "Do you knw what a pivot table is?" I said "Hold on let me look that up online."
• i can’t plot a scatter chart in excel without yelling ‘SCATTERRRRRR’ as i click insert chart and it’s starting to become a problem
• I just want to find duplicates in Excel. You have to perform no less than 5465485213214 functions to do this. Stupid, stupid program.
• Quite proud of the beautiful excel spreadsheet I created to keep track of my office hockey pool #justsayin
• I’ve fallen into the horrific bracket of people who look you straight in the eye and say "Oh, I do love a good Excel spreadsheet."#adminnerd
• Had a strange dream with an exorcist. Also an excel spreadsheet. Both were equally frightening!! #nightmares
• I just spent 1 hour of my life, looking for an error in a formula in Excel. The moron had a space before the decimal point in a number #FML
• I crashed Excel trying to graph over 1000 lines of data. I feel weirdly accomplished.
• why is the #powerpivot ‘stop import’ button positioned just in the same place as the ‘finish’ button? #usability
• I’ll spend 20 minutes formatting an excel document instead of actually doing the work #Procrastination
• After drawing 4 graphs on excel, I THINK I DESERVE A BREAK.
• Hah! I accidentally made a pivot table do exactly what I wanted! I am the luckiest in the office, oh yes I am 🙂 :buys lottery ticket:

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Nap or spreadsheet? That is the question. Maybe 2500 popup messages, and a bit of rap, will wake you up.

• Yesterday I watched 5 people huddle around a computer for 40 minutes trying to make a graph using Microsoft word because excel was too hard.
• Problem with a big lunch is you feel like taking a nap straight after. Good thing I’ve got something exciting to do like staring at excel..
• One of my favourite things about Excel 2013 is that a new file now contains a logical 1 worksheet by default rather than an arbitrary 3.
• Nap or continue my excel spreadsheet? I’m leaning towards a nap.
• I learned more about excel in the last week week (by building an epic workbook) than I did in the last ten years. Still hate excel, though.
• The Treaty of Versailles is basically all I learnt in high school. Oh and how to make a spreadsheet
• Sometimes, when I hit the Wrap Text tab in Microsoft Excel, I rap the text in my head. Most of the time, it doesnt work, but when it does..
• Life can be explained In a 2×2 cross tab, 4 quadrants, 5 slides and a pivot table.
• Learning pivot tables in MS Excel easily makes me more powerful than Batman
• They’re talking about a coding error in excel as if it’s possible to code in excel.
• Today the Excel sheet seems melancholy, somehow. Listening to the soundtrack to Amélie as I work to fill its millions of empty cells.
• Fun fact: an excel document can hold exactly 1,048,576 rows. Unfun fact: I’ve had to sift through 5 full spreadsheets today #fml
• Finally figured out an excel problem that I have been stuck on for two days. I feel like a genius
• Attempting to write a code in excel and I accidentally made 2500 message boxes pop up at once **** #COBproblems
• i didn´t even know excel spreadsheets could be this horrifying. so much formatting. so many sheets in one workbook.
• Big boss just recommended everyone to find me if they need help with excel or minitab. There goes my peace. -.-
• There’s major problems with everyone I work with when I’m the number one problem solver in the office. I don’t even know how to work excel
• I’m starting a new street crew. Looking for a place to get leather and/or denim jackets in bulk & also a guy who knows how to work Excel.

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Did Mr. Rogers teach you how to make pie charts? Probably not, but he can still make you feel better when things go wrong in Excel. Remember – you are special!

• boss just called my excel project the "Model-T" of spreadsheets. not a compliment.
• I’m rich! I’m rich! I’m rich! Wait. Never mind. Stupid Excel.
• Just used my first Excel Macro. Like a boss. A nerdy boss who spends too much time on doing data entry.
• Nerding out hardcore over the pivot table shenanigans I just pulled. Data!
• I was going to attempt to drink less coffee, but then I had to work on an Excel spreadsheet.
• My dad is seriously making me make an excel spreadsheet with graphs and charts on why I should get an iPhone..
• I’m wearing a Mr. Rogers shirt. It’s the only thing stopping me from crying while doing this stupid excel science project.
• Today I reached a new low, not just staying at wrk ’till 8pm, but being really happy I did an awesome excel chart. What have I become?!
• When your PhD friends are out saving the world and you’re like, "I know what a pivot table is." #excelninja #publicaccounting
• Code something difficult, no one cares. Make an excel spreadsheet look pretty "wow, what amazing work you’ve done!" #MathMajorProblems
• I always knew Excel graphs would be the death of me. always.
• Daughter came home from 2nd grade & showed me how to create a pie chart using Excel. Man, things have changed. I only played Oregon Trail.
• I always thought excel is easy, until boss asks me to create a formula. ??!!
• When will we get The Great British Spreadsheet Bee? One and a half hours to create a pivot table with a graph?
• my boss asks me to go into his office 3x per day so he can show me how he’s finally "figured out" excel …
• I’ve never felt this computer illiterate in my life.. Stupid Excel.
• You know you’re in trouble when you’ve forgotten how to make line graphs on Excel and need to watch tutorials …
• Why hello Excel. Prepare to be 0wned! Not on a pivot table level or anything. More on like a what a marketer can do level. Like sorting.

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Just sit there and look good. If you create a pivot table, it might cause an earthquake. Or a rainbow.

• im going to sit here and cry until all 5 million of these excel graphs fix themselves #productive
• A days worth of excel training and now I can colour code sheets! #rainbows
• My Excel skills are laughably bad. Charts? Graphs? Formulas? Goooood joke
• Working in an office is mostly figuring out how to toggle between Gchat and Microsoft Excel without your boss noticing.
• And for the record, a "pdf spreadsheet" is not a thing.
• Just said circular reference warning in public. Only people who know excel know what I mean #FML
• I am having a pivot table melt down, this is not how i saw my life
• Leslie has started a spreadsheet where she records what we eat each night and what we liked about it.
• Got to share my story as well.. While inserting the pivot table in my report suddenly an earthquake!!! booooom!!!
• I thought I was a boss at Excel. Today I met a god.
• As a teen I use to think excel can process huge volume of data Now I can say Descent volume of data Filter Pivot n Excel cries like a baby
• Have now written the same chunk of code three times ‘cos Excel is throwing a hissy fit when I try to save. :o(
• My boss: "You don’t need to be messing around in Excel." Brill, I’ll just sit here and look good
• I’ve done nothing but listen to Black Sabbath at work today. This Excel sheet is brought to you by Satan.
• Excel said it can’t execute code while in break mode. I don’t understand – We use robots because they don’t get breaks! Or overtime
• OOH! I get to go to 2 days of Excel training for work! This is the most excited I’ve been about a work related thing since…well, ever.
• the only benefit from my computer class in high school is that my 60+ aged boss thinks what I do is perfect. #excel
• Me and every interaction with excel: "Oops. Maybe if I-nope. If I click this here-nope. I don’t know how graphs work. Yes I got it! Nope"

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Macros will not explode your Excel workbooks (usually!), and they are more impressive than Lucky Charms shapes.

• Dang. Just received an #Excel workbook that puts all mine to shame. #funwithdata #nerdalicious
• The highlight of my day was finding an Excel shortcut that saved me hours of work. Nerdy? I don’t care.
• Nothing screams wild like a holiday itinerary via the art of an excel spreadsheet. Yup, I just went there…
• There are 4 files under my "Open Recent" tab in Excel: 2 bachelor party guest lists, the bball scholarship chart andd the Big33 OH roster.
• Breaking my head with Pivot table and macros. I managed a B- or C+ the excel modelling paper copying from the next fella 🙁
• Ah, hello default Excel chart palette in a paper I’m reviewing. Is there a macro to change data points to Lucky Charms shapes?
• Transferring an excel data chart into word w/o grid lines. ‘When in doubt, white it out’.
• Hey guys did you know that staring at excel spreadsheets for hours takes away your ability to count and do simple math? #FML
• On an Excel course. Always been taught to be scared of macros and using them would blow up your workbook. But they aren’t! 😉
• My boss is the type to have 4 different fonts, sizes, alignment, etc on an excel chart for no reason. It drives me insane.
• Why can’t excel just do what I want it to? It’s like I’m the mom and it’s my stupid, good for nothing, hormonal, teenage daughter.
• A week later, Pivot table still not done despite reading Excel for dummies religiously. On the plus side, I love working nights.
• Microsoft Excel: where your dreams are crushed into easy-to-organize cells, charts, graphs, etc.
• When I close my eyes to sleep I have an excel spreadsheet burned into my vision… thats normal right?
• There should be an international holiday dedicated to the Excel Pivot Table
• “An Excel spreadsheet is probably the best way to store this information.” – OLD people
• 13 years breaking complex applications; never impressed my boss. Today I made a pivot table in Excel and he thinks I’m a goddamned genius.
• Why is my Dad telling me I should learn how to do graphs on excel in my spare time?? #thanksbutnothanks ****

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You can learn all kinds of useful Excel tricks on YouTube, but I haven’t seen any cake chart tutorials there.

• When making excel charts becomes exciting its time to go outside
• The NCAA’s online stream ‘boss button’ is greatly improved over the previous blank Excel spreadsheet.
• saying that i know pivot table during the interview was a….bad decision
• I forgot how to make pie charts in Excel. Don’t tell LinkedIn.
• Anyone else get the warm and fuzzies when they get to color-code their Excel sheets? No? You sure? *sigh* Fine. #geekygoodness
• I had a dream last night that I killed a man and then my boss found out but then fixed it by making an economic model in excel.
• Just think, in a few years these plucky young players from Harvard will be right sizing your company via Pivot Table. Go Crimson!
• Boss says he’s going to restrict my computer access to Excel until I complete an expense form…
• There are few things more relaxing than making a pivot table and reflecting on how much damn time you saved summing things by week.
• Anybody who thinks fantasy baseball isn’t cool, must have missed me entering data into an Excel spreadsheet for three hours. #cooldude
• Someone found my blog by googling "How to make cake charts in Excel?" #piecharthumor
• Boss : Your excel sheets are so colorful! :OMe : * #ilovecolors *Colorful #OfficeDiaries 🙂
• Been staring at stock charts and excel files for the past 15 hours it’s about time to crack a 6 pack, listen to some lil Wayne n sleep
• You don’t know how to create radar graphs in Excel? Please explain how that’s my problem.
• My boss for real thinks I’m some kind of genius in Excel. Thanks, YouTube.
• It takes Alice 45 minutes to code 32 trials into Excel. With 512 to go, how long before she loses her mind? I don’t know. My name is Fred.
• Pivot Tables from multiple consolidation ranges are probably about the least useful feature of MS Excel.
• "They look sexy as hell but they are worthless!" Yup, my professer just said that about charts on Excel.

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Maybe you should watch March Madness, instead of changing the formats in that Excel file. That might prevent people from getting steamed.

• No dad I’m not gonna do the spreadsheet now, I’ll do it later.
• When you have to tell yourself to be smarter than the spreadsheet you created it is time for more coffee
• Looking forward to working through a massive risk prediction spreadsheet today. Just how more exciting can it get?
• Is that spreadsheet you are working on gonna create or destroy jobs?
• My morning so far consists of pretty snow and warming latte. Could just do without the spreadsheet bit! 😀
• I’m stuck in an Excel Lunch and Learn at work – SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!
• Cheers to the idiots that thought changing the format of their excel sheets was a good idea. Now my formulas don’t work. Waaa!
• literally every time I open a new Excel spreadsheet I type "WHERE YOU AT? HOLLA WHEN YOU GET THIS" in A1
• *creates an intricate excel spreadsheet w highly specific procedural formulae for a video game* *is still unable to create a monthly budget*
• Today is the last day of my life spent not owning a steamer and I’m filling in an Excel spreadsheet with things I am planning on steaming.
• Every cell in a spreadsheet is a window into relationship. Excel is THE magic grid. #research #segmentation #context
• When your two wide-screen monitors still aren’t wide enough to fit your whole Excel spreadsheet, #eatchocolates
• sent boyf a list of adventures and restaurants to try. he is going to love receiving something excel related from me. #dorkcouple
• I don’t know about you but right now I just want to work on an Excel spreadsheet
• Is having an excel spreadsheet for your holiday a little sad?! Or just being organised? #saddo
• At a coffee shop eavesdropping, someone is explaining how they have no idea how to create a spreadsheet in excel. Facepalm.
• Spending my night with the ever so lovely Excel Spreadsheet
• I wish I was watching March Madness, instead I’m putting together a pivot table in excel.

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Did the professor deduct marks for the exploding pie chart (Hooray!) or add extra marks (Noooo!)?

• Whoever says men don’t have feelings has never tried to print an excel workbook. I feel right now that is for damn sure.
• im probably the only person on earth who is incapable of making simple graphs on excel……honestly how did I make it to university
• Passive aggressive Excel poem #36. My formula’s right, but you say it’s drivel. Forget all your pivot charts: I want you to swivel. #fb
• Reading through VBA loops on #excel. Was looking for material to use in #word but I can just apply the same principle 🙂 code is code.
• I hate it when I spend too long working on a particular problem and instead of getting clearer it becomes less so. Need a break from excel.
• "Wait, is this real life?" – Me looking at a giant excel worksheet. #ITworkshop #libraryschool #thingsiaskprofs
• should probably get on and colour code some lists and shizz. #fml #excel
• Yesterday, my to do list was make a dozen test solutions. Today, I was handed a 60 PAGE spreadsheet. I haven’t got a clue what’s going on.
• My Excel is being stupid. It won’t put things in ascending order. Or do it on the graphs either. Stupid Microsoft.
• I recently learned about pivot tables in excel and I got excited how it can make my work easier. What has happened to my life.
• I REALLLLY wish I was an EXCEL pro!! What I am doing right now would be soooo much easier if I knew how to code it in or something!
• Cant believe we are paying consultants to pivot our data in excel
• I thought myself 2 chapters of chemistry today… And now I just want to die and burn excel graphs in my sleep
• On a website called "Dummies" while trying to do charts for excel….. That really says it all.
• Just spent two hours looking for a problem in my code only to realize it was fine and MS Excel has a bug. Mr. Gates, my bill is in the mail.
• Favoriting your tweets today may not guarantee they are interesting, I’ve found a Build an Excel Pivot Table interesting today for example
• dear boss,dropped too much acid in college to be able to work on this excel spreadsheet today. thanks,TT
• This prof. gave my excel project a 99.47% because I exploded every slice of my pie chart. Really? Like honestly? #petty

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How was your weekend? Did you have an exciting pivot table marathon, and dreams about your 10-year-old version of Excel? Or were you stuck in March break traffic?

• I wish I had better Excel skills. The problem is that I only need them about every five years or so.
• Excel is all the software I need to know? Damn. I wasted five years in college and untold thousands of dollars learning useless code. Fail.
• The pivot table marathon has commenced… #Excel #GeekWeekend
• just had a dream about making an excel worksheet…glad its spring break
• 24 hours later I’m still on a high from cracking frequency charts in excel… #nerdface
• I’m trying to learn about excel. Pivot tables are the first thing that I’ve been wowed by. That’s really useful!
• Traffic was horrible, work is madness, I don’t like excel pivot tables blah,blah,blah….. OK I’ve vented feel better now 🙂 #stressedout
• This Excel sheet is gonna blow my boss’s socks off! I’ve lost control of my life.
• just figured out an excel problem all by myself.. i feel like i should maybe switch my major to finance and accounting #justmaybe #confident
• oh well, back to the old nerdy Excel Worksheet way
• I’m currently teaching my dad how to write code for excel #nerdstatus
• So grateful that my grad assistant is an Excel whiz. I have lots of stupid Excel questions 🙂
• You know you’re a business major when anything becomes even remotely easier to break down into a Excel spreadsheet to figure out.
• My inner accounting geek was thrilled to learn a new code in Excel. My inner artist – not impressed, horrified actually.
• I never thought I’d say this, but learning how to create a pivot table in Excel proved to be quite useful.
• The problem with my Excel is that it’s 10 years old
• You’d think they’d never seen an Excel sheet with drop down options before. Or pivot tables.
• And for the nth time without fail, the most difficult part of an assignment is creating a graph on Excel.

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It’s not just Excel — who doesn’t do stupid things on a regular basis? And I’m not laughing at your pie chart – it’s beautiful!

• Oh my god, I love #excel. It actually works 95% of the time and does exactly what I want it to <3
• I would be the worst senator. Want my vote to legalize rocket launchers? No problem. Just back my Excel chart option regulations.
• Is it sad that the first thing I thought when I saw these clouds was "crap, I need to color code that excel doc?" http://t.co/1sXQCdXkb7
• It has taken me two weeks, but I finally figured out how to make a graph on excel and it was by far the worst thing I have ever done.
• MS Excel still contains code dating from the Neolithic Period
• boss keeps telling me to format excel sheets to be printable…nobody prints excel docs…nobody prints…
• As much as I love Excel – it does some really stupid things on a regular basis and crashes a lot
• I just learned that you can make graphs on Excel!!! #BestThingEver #NeverMakingAGraphByHandAgain #APchem
• what i should be doing: excel spreadsheet…what i am doing: sitting on twitter listening to country music. #countrygirl
• It just took me five tries to spell "excel." #riveting #butreally #stupid
• I love Excel. I love Excel. I love Excel. #lyingthroughmyteeth
• WHAT? Excel for Mac can’t slice pivot tables?!?! How do you live without this?
• I dont know how to create a graph in excel. my future is very grey
• Thank you Excel for having more options for the design and color of my chart than the for my actual data input…
• It’s pathetic to think that the high point of my day today will prob be that I was able to formulate a vba code on excel. #ihavenolife
• To my fiance: I appreciate you. Organizing our wedding excel file and not laughing at my pie chart is true love.
• Second week at my new job and haven’t had to look at a pivot table or do a vlookup.
• You’re a geek if you google "beautiful excel charts"… I didn’t just do that or anything…

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If you and your mother are going to make a giant chart in Excel, you should make it super colourful too!

• Staring at an Excel spreadsheet wont make it do what you want it too…finding this out the hard way!!! #deathbyexcel
• No putting some colour on an excel spreadsheet does not make you creative
• I hate Excel. I especially hate inheriting Excel books with VBA code that was developed by idiots.
• Saw Amour. It’s the first film that I found more boring than an Excel spreadsheet.
• Sometimes changing the rows and columns in a pivot table can change the entire course of your day.
• after 4 hours of messing around excel, I have 3 graphs in a presentable format, at least til my boss takes a look at it #gradschoolproblems
• Just opened an excel spreadsheet whose main tab is called "GIANT CHART" you said it bro
• I spent saturday creating an excel spreadsheet for my finances and exercising. Another terrifying glimpse into middle agedom. #thirtyisnigh
• You guys, I hate Excel, so I’m making this spreadsheet SUPER COLORFUL to make it more fun. It’s not quite helping yet.
• You know you weren’t cut out to be a business student when you can write functions with code faster than you can manipulate Excel.
• currently obsessed with finishing an excel spreadsheet… i’m a bigger nerd than i thought.
• Even though I work in the humanities, I am hyper-excited about having the newest version of Excel on my computer.
• After years of what I thought were useless IT lessons where we were on excel for hours at a time, I can’t make a decent spreadsheet.
• Microsoft Excel, please respond. I just filled in an entire workbook and I haven’t got the chance to save yet.
• My boss the chicken farmer needs to update from windows 98 before she can complain about me sending her an excel file that is not compatible
• Apparently I have worn Excel out today. I can’t click into a single spreadsheet. I’m heartbroken. Not.
• It feels great when your boss asks for your excel expertise, it’s not fun to tell her she sorted the information incorrectly & wasted 3 hrs
• My mother and I are having a competition to see who can make a better pivot table/graph. We’re normal, I swear.

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Do your own standard deviation graphs, or you might end up as a boss who sucks at Excel. Or worse, you’ll be sitting at home in your bathrobe!

• Went to Excel London the other day. Disappointed that it wasn’t actually in fact a mahoosive spreadsheet.
• My Excel skills are coming on leaps and bounds. Managed to work out how to freeze planes all by myself today #goldstar
• What would the world have done without The Microsoft Excel spreadsheet! AS IMPORTANT AS THE WHEEL #sarcasm #microsoft #thematrix #code
• Nested IF statements in an Excel spreadsheet. And how had *your* afternoon been?
• Anyone who can do standard deviation graphs on excel will be my best friend for life if they can do 9 graphs for me.
• I recant my ‘like a boss’ statement about #excel. I need some one who is ‘good with’ #excel graphs, ‘bosses’ tend to suck with excel.
• Another fine morning of bad coffee and great Excel work #ohhappyday
• I can code a basic calculator, integrate 3D functions. I can even design a bridge, but right now I’m googling “how to make a graph on excel”
• Sorry babe, it just ain’t gonna work out. See you use the “accounting” number format in excel and im more of a “currency” guy
• oh cool, new excel has no wizard for graphs, and just buttons to click with a range of graphs that aren’t appropriate for your task
• My boss just showed me how to highlight rows in Excel like I’m a monkey seeing a computer for the 1st time. #RetirementWhereAreYou
• Who remembers trying to scroll until they found the end of the Excel spreadsheet?
• new level of procrastination: trying to make cool graphs on excel
• Also, not that anyone cares, but I finished writing the code to great a hangman game on excel so I’m feeling really accomplished =) #ISmajor
• Nothing says “working from home” more than screaming at a pivot table, naked save a poorly tied dressing gown while Grinderman blares
• I just made the most beautiful excel spreadsheet. It is so clean I could cry.
• there’s a special place reserved for people that use word to make charts instead of excel… oh look, a head shaped dent in my desk.

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If your Excel worksheets are filled with Macho Man Randy Savage information, it might not be a shortcut to your boss’ heart.

• had a dream in microsoft excel last night in which I walked my boss through 50 tabs of formulas and work. My dreams are too literal
• Just learned there’s a to-do list workbook on excel. Today’s going to be a good day!! It’s the little things, people!
• Must look intelligent with these excel spreadsheets and graphs all over my laptop on the train, shame I have no clue
• Yes, offering to make a snazzy Excel chart is a brilliant idea when you don’t know how Excel charts work. Over-eager me…
• Hope my boss never discovers the excel spreadsheet I’ve been working on all month is just a list my favorite Macho Man Randy Savage moments.
• I wrote about a girl colouring in squares on graph paper to avoid doing her maths homework. Then I opened up Excel and did the same thing.
• I’ve decided I wouldn’t like my job to be televised to millions. "Here’s Harris, with a wonderful pivot table" :-/
• my mom just complained about how my dad wasn’t believing how cool her excel worksheet is… #typicaldelchers
• Somewhere in Microsoft, there’s an excel spreadsheet somewhere with a list of certificates and expiry dates that nobody is looking at
• "All signs PowerPoint to Yes!" , "Life is a pivot table" , "My text is Justified" #msofficemusical
• Does anyone know if there is an Excel shortcut to my boss’s heart?
• This excel spreadsheet is playing my life…I just know my formualas are correct -_-
• I wonder if I could code a Macro in time that’d do my entire Excel exam for me.
• Best thing i’ve done since getting up – helping eldest make graphs on excel (not being sarcastic, I really enjoyed helping her)
• Just finished an Excel spreadsheet about coffee shop quarterly sales that was WILD! You should have SEEN this dope pie chart I made! #pumped
• Doing an excel spreadsheet for my boss in colours of the rainbow, i hope he likes it, shame i couldnt add a scent #work
• Dam, stupid excel giving me false hope.
• How could I ever make a decision without an Excel spreadsheet? #dependent

__________________

Please don’t make your Excel charts look like candy – it will hurt your eyes, and you’ll never get to sleep.

• Excel must be suitable for something. But every spreadsheet I am exposed to twists and warps it so far from whatever that is. #grrr
• Sometimes at work I’ll mix hot chocolate and coffee in my cup to remind myself I’m adventurous and that Excel doesn’t own my happiness.
• This lady has been staring at an excel chart for the past 3 1/2 hours smh can’t be healthy
• I can either color my #Excel charts or pivot tables to look like a Skittles bag, or to look like I’m colorblind. I have no design skills.
• I’ve learn a new Excel trick today….5th year into work, and 10 years after IT studies at college…..
• Waking up early to learn how to copy-paste stuff from a website to Excel. Lab Group at 9 #Stats #FML
• Struggled for 2 hours to quantify data in excel for my boss before realizing I effectively created a pseudorandom number generator #FML
• When I save my Excel spreadsheet it says "Minor Loss of Fidelity". That’s a bit personal. Can it do that? #stupiderrormessages
• excel can do a lot but reliably converting a string to a number is not one of them #work
• A long, constant day of spreadsheet hell doesn’t look any more attractive at 7.15 than it does at 9.15.
• I want to do an excel worksheet so bad. I have no idea whyyyy
• As much as I want to make graphs on Microsoft Excel and use them to figure out chemistry I would rather watch Gossip Girl ?
• My favorite feature of Excel has to be pivot tables: focus only on the info you care about.
• You know you work for yourself when you think about doing a spreadsheet at 2.04am. Whatever happened to just reading a book to get asleep?
• Also, every time someone refers to a static Excel spreadsheet as a database, I make a mental note to homicide them.
• Doing mindless work of copying and pasting in excel. I . Love . It . **
• The part of my brain that knows MS Excel has taken a vacation this week. My boss wishes it would come back. #NeedAFormulaForSuccess

__________________

There’s a game that lets you kill someone with a spreadsheet? Awesome! Maybe it has exploding pie charts too.

• I feel like I know JUST enough about pivot tables to make all of my tasks 30 times harder #Excel #productivity #tcot
• Boss uknowingly let me loose with an Excel spreadsheet. Spent the last 4 hours coding VBA macros for it. #engineeringproblems
• My father would be proud of the amazing excel spreadsheet i made to keep track of my working hours #accountantsdaughter #procrastination
• Is it possible to make just one program work really slowly?? I restarted the computer and ONLY Excel is molasses!
• Today I had to google ‘how to make a graph in excel’. Sometimes my lack of knowledge astounds me.
• Of course, by "analysis" I mean "make a graph in excel then see what’s different" but you know, potayto potahto.
• when i spend more than 3 hours on excel module and boom the battery is dead even the work i did **** #killme ! *speechless* ** #gn -.-
• Had some fun teaching gamblers fallacy and law of large numbers with dynamic excel charts today.
• falling out with Excel… all I want is a colourful pie chart with sections & percentages to represent data, instead I have a big blue pie!
• A spreadsheet macro for colour-coding a "Worry" column based on the number of question marks in the preceding columns.
• Made a pretty neat excel spreadsheet for hw today. All this studying must mean one thing… 1 week till beerlympics!
• Finally learned how to make a legit Pareto chart on Excel! #accomplishment #kinda
• Its funny when my boss comes to my work and is standing right behind me and I don’t know it and I’m sitting there drawing bunnies on Excel.
• I am planning my vacation in Paris -Excel formulas work better there
• Having a minor argument with excel about it’s ability to draw graphs. #technology #geology #technofobe
• EVE Online, The only game where it is possible to kill someone with a Excel Spreadsheet.
• Two conclusions I can draw: Elon Musk (a) is good with Excel charts and (b) is a huge dillweed.
• Oh Microsoft Excel, why do you hurt me when I love you so?

____________________

The dog ate your Excel file? You’re never going to improve your geek score that way. And no free pizza for you.

• Someone emailed an excel workbook about three weeks ago, still haven’t opened it. Spreadsheets give me the fear, man.
• What use is the "double-click bottom of any MS Excel cell to get to bottom of worksheet" function?! It’s crushed my soul twice today!
• I can’t figure out how to do this stupid graph in Excel. I feel like a 90 year old trying to figure out the WorldWideWeb.
• The problem with Excel is when the person that wrote the workbook retires and nobody else knows how it works.
• I’m taking an Excel Class at work for free pizza #grownupdormrat
• Of course the one thing I forget how to do on excel is worth 8 point on my exam. #fml
• What is the use of having a dog if you can’t tell your boss that it ate your excel sheets ? #FAIL
• Went to type "how to make a graph in excel" and google auto completed it to "how to make a tutu" umm, not where I was going, but interesting
• I think the only reason I have excel on my computer is to crash it at the end of the day just to explain why I haven’t done any work.
• I love Excel. What can I say? My parents are both accountants, you guys. I didn’t have a chance to not love spreadsheets.
• just discovered pivot tables in Excel. This very well may have just upped my geek score by 75 points
• You can scroll down or right forever in an excel spreadsheet, it’s kinda scary actually.
• There’s a man on the train who appears to organise every little detail of his life in an excel worksheet. Sad.
• worked my ass off creating an all-inclusive excel workbook at my boss’s request..now it’s "too complex" and he’s changed his mind. -_-
• Boss: This is great, but it’d look better in an Excel spreadsheet. Can y– Me: (Places earmuffs on ears, locks self into file cabinet)
• microsoft excel is a bitch and i hate it and it’s poop and it is ugly and it is stupid and it is bad in bed, it’s tone deaf and has no SOUL
• Big dirty excel spreadsheet waiting for me when I get home. Great.
• I think a lot of people would be more excited about making graphs in excel if they understood there’s a "pie explosion" setting.

________________

If it takes you a week to create a pivot table, you shouldn’t work on it in your car, at a traffic light.

• I’m in business class making spread sheets. 1. Microsoft Excel hates me. 2. I have no desire to chart my profits from hot dogs and sodas.
• My boss just gave a week to prepare a pivot table report. I have to keep in mind when she started with the firm there was only 1 computer.
• I created a 15 sheet excel file with tons of calculations. Boss found ONE mistake "cell n30 looks off" in ONE sheet.
• Trying to get excel to work properly, no luck… co-worker phrased it perfectly… "excel is a butt-head"
• I think my excel spreadsheet itinerary just freaked my brother out. Excellent.
• Obi Wan’s spreadsheet mischief: "Microsoft Office Excel cannot find the data you’re searching for" #TheseAreNotTheDroids
• I am becoming such a boss on Microsoft Excel. Who would have thought you could do soo much with little boxes.
• my boss gave me the wrong excel sheet for something and told me to just put the stuff in anyways #comeon
• I hate Excel as much as the next guy, probably more. But pivot tables are God’s gift to working on your taxes.
• Doing mad pivot table stacked bar chart and Excel crashed. But not only did Excel crash, the crash reporter also crashed. #crashInception
• I always feel like a poser when I’m listening to rap music while working in an Excel spreadsheet.
• Excel exacting its revenge for those cat graphs. Nothing to do with the enormous data set; everything to do with machines judging me.
• I swear, my boss would have us log the number of breaths we take of labspace air in an Excel spreadsheet if he could. everything.xlsx
• Just incorrectly entered a date into a spreadsheet with the year "29013." Spreadsheet promptly froze and crashed. #Y29KBug #EndOfDays
• So this chick whips out her laptop and logs in while at the light. She worked on an excel sheet and ran a pivot. Coolest thing ever.
• Dude next to me at the coffee shop is playing the air guitar while working on some Excel spreadsheet.
• And someone is trying to clock me for alphabetizing a list wrong. I hit the sort button in excel.If its wrong, that’s someone else’s problem
• It takes a special kind of person to be able to hide columns in an Excel spreadsheet but not be able to figure out how to unhide them.

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Remember, 3-D pie charts are bad, and exploded 3-D pie charts are worse. Maybe the chart wizard could come back to remind us occasionally.

• People referred to =IF(AND(·,OR(·,·)),·) in Excel as "computer code". An awkward feeling pervaded the room.
• Watchin’ all these BI107 kids doing their excel homework with a MOUSE! Lol I remember my first spreadsheet…
• today i’m being held captive in a meeting room while my boss does excel spreadsheet calculations and tells me about each one.
• Spent most of the afternoon making a detailed Excel analysis explaining why I need a huge raise that my boss will certainly not read.
• You know you should change your field of research when some of the most important papers include 3D pie charts made with Excel…
• this may sound totally nerdy but i love excel. I AM AN EXCEL MASTER. i’m like a boss at work (‘cept without the high salary).
• You know what hell is like? Typing 100 graphs into excel everyday
• I will NEVER understand why Excel can’t undo "delete worksheet" function. #CanIHaveADoOver #didthatjusthappen #grrrrr!
• For the 1st time, I ran VBA in #Excel. I didn’t write the script but I found the code, learned where to put it and how to run it. #step1
• I spent 4 years at University. I’ve got 15 years industry experience. Today, I’ve mostly been colouring in cells in Excel. #fml
• utilizing my excellent excel experience by making a spreadsheet of local drinking holes for tonight w/ my bosses.
• Distracting label in #excel today during media research methods. "Exploded pie charts." Mmm pie. Homer drool. #data #distractions
• I love how my sister can still bully me into making her excel charts and she’s in grad school **
• Microsoft says that support for SharePoint lists in Excel 2007 and later is “depreciated”. That must be code for “totally borked”.
• Putting an Excel chart in a Word document is the cruelest form of office torture.
• high praise from the boss for copying and pasting some stuff in excel #winning
• Can you load 400MB into a pivot table? We’ll see!
• where has chart wizard gone? he was a good wizard. now i’m lost in a world of statistics in excel. majestically dull.

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If you’re making your first trip with the new baby, be sure to make a pivot table before you leave home. And curse under your breath, so the baby won’t hear you.

• Wow. Pivot table chops are just like any chops I guess. Use ’em or lose ’em.
• There is only one sheet in a workbook by default in Excel ’13 not three now I LOVE THIS
• Writing the to-do list. Is there a name for excel chart addiction – 5 to update this morning and a new one to compose, deep joy #obsessive
• Strategically planning our first post-baby trip means an extensive excel workbook with project management timelines.
• Happy cursing. Not the kind of cursing you say under your breath when you have to do excel pivot tables all day.
• I ran out of things to do at work today so I logged into my boss’s computer and put cool colors on all of his Excel spreadsheets #surprise
• Lady checking out at target recording things in her check book. Do that when you get home on a excel spreadsheet lady. #2013
• ahhh I can’t even make charts IN EXCEL I had no idea this was the kind of person I am but here we are
• "By doing this, SUNY will build the biggest, baddest, Excel spreadsheet of all time." oh, ok. #excellove
• No excel, I did not want to add 32,000 series to that chart. JUST TWO. (Not Responding), I’d be sulking, too.
• Well, that was 11 hours straight of staring at an Excel spreadsheet on a Saturday. Good times. The reward? Killer Karoake.
• My boss designed the most terrible Excel spreadsheet ever. This is going to be so much fun correcting it
• If there is one thing that I hate the most in this world, it is Microsoft Excel. JUST MAKE A GRAPH THAT’S ALL I WANT FROM YOU.
• Oh Excel why do you want to make my life such a misery #fml
• I should be doing boring Excel spreadsheet work. But I’d rather read all day.
• I am going to strangle whoever created Excel, this graph has taken me an hour and I’m not even done #IHateChem #HateGraphs #complicated
• Bridesmaid has hen party spreadsheet. I love her.
• That moment when you drop the wrong field in your pivot table and you might as well go home, it’s gonna take so long for excel to do it.

__________________

When you think of columns, do you mean steel buildings or Excel spreadsheets?

• I could get used to this staying home sick. Less distraction so finally getting some work done. Excel-in-bed
• Solution for one excel crashing problem is "user moved to another pc without the problem".
• Oh, a 40MB excel spreadsheet of data… without any instruction on how to mine the data… or what we’re supposed to do with it? Perfect.
• Owww. I just got a paper cut. From a printed out Excel chart. Doubly sad. #neosporintime
• Home sweet home, washing, cooking, cleaning & not a spreadsheet in sight .. how will I cope without excel ?
• But 4 real i could write you a code that flashes the message "redrum redrum" an infinite amount of times until u r forced to crash excel >=)
• Know your boss. If he/she is very detailed, NEVER send a shoddy excel sheet. Let it be correct.
• I’m the lone admin in an architect firm. When they say columns, they mean steel and concrete. When I say columns, I mean excel spreadsheet.
• Thank the good Lord my dad knows how to work Excel otherwise I’d be lost and crying.
• Just built the most beautifully complex excel ever. I think I’m in love
• At my last job, it was fine when I took 3 weeks to make a line on a few Excel graphs but they stopped talking to me when I couldn’t code.
• Oilers jersey contest requires major Photoshop skills? Why not a contest that requires Excel skills? Best pivot table wins!
• to coffee or not to coffee? that is the question. i’m sort of on an excel chart roll and don’t want to disrupt, but also feeling tired
• Just strained my jaw eating baby carrots while working on an Excel spreadsheet. #thuglife #dontbhatin #respectmygamebitches
• Currently exploring the wonders of PowerPivot in Excel 2013. Business Intelligence in the hands on business users = awesome. #Excel2013
• My professor is showing us how to solve a linear problem using a program called lingo….ill just stick with my baby…EXCEL!!!
• Bill Gates is out there beating the hell out of diseases and I can’t even finish this Excel spreadsheet
• Everyone’s huddled round a failed pivot table. I look on, sipping my mocha, safe in the knowledge that I know NOTHING about pivot tables

__________________

If you’ve had a bottle of wine, it might be better if the nanny builds the pivot tables.

• My colleague has been making a humongous Excel spreadsheet for 4 solid days. What’s the best way to tell him he’s been using the wrong data?
• At some point Microsoft redesigned how Excel makes charts. It was simple before. Now it is ridiculously counter-intuitive. Good job. #morons
• My college search involves multiple notebooks, tears, an Excel spreadsheet, and a three-dimensional scatter plot. #OCD #stressin
• The fact that I’m google’ing ‘how to make a graph in Excel’ and I’m in second year is probably a bad sign
• Listening to someone speak who just figured out how to do a pie chart in excel. God help me.
• Is it weird that I’m asking my nanny to fill out an excel spreadsheet that tracks my son’s feeding and napping times? #nerd
• I just showed a coworker how to make the grid lines appear in an Excel worksheet. What year is this?
• Sign of growth: Excel spreadsheet crashes TWICE. Hours lost. Calm kept. #SERIOUS
• You know you’ve been staring at an excel worksheet for too long when the lines start to look crooked #smproblems
• The last thing you need while deliriously unwell is to be tediously calculating standard deviation in an excel spreadsheet.
• I should be trying to finish this linear programming problem in Excel, but instead I just googled "flatulence in the supreme court."
• Just created an Excel spreadsheet that makes part of my job about 30 times easier! …I shouldn’t be this excited about it. #nerdy
• at a place that has karaoke… guy hands me an Excel spreadsheet of the songs he can perform… I grab my jacket, and leave #JustHappened…
• Just showed someone how to make a graph in Excel. #ChangingTheWorld #SavingLives
• Love an Excel spreadsheet after a bottle of wine…….#cheers
• My Husband just said I remind him of an EXCEL SPREADSHEET LOL
• A pivot table is when two pieces of mostly wrong bits of data are compared. Using SIMS, and unformatted EXCEL spreadsheet.
• Excel cannot exceed the limit of 1,048,576 rows and 16,384 columns. Never run in to this problem until today.

__________________

Fire everyone who doesn’t know how to build a pivot table, but definitely keep the people who count the characters in their Excel formulas.

• I just made the most beautiful graph in excel. I almost cried when it popped up. #excel #shouldabeenacompmajor
• If I was boss I’d fire everyone who didn’t know/didn’t try to learn how to use a pivot table
• Guy next to me is assaulting his keyboard, and using a calculator to work out sums for his excel spreadsheet…
• Note to self: When color-coding stuff in Excel, remember to make a note on what the code is.
• Stupid cat just jumped up on my desk for approx. 1 second before I shooed him away, yet somehow he managed to open an Excel file 187 times.
• Someone younger than myself in my office has literally no clue how to make a graph in excel. Are you kidding me?!
• ESPN received an excel spreadsheet of Manti’s phone records and "insisted they are genuine." Yeah, so did his girlfriend. #needbetterproof
• Eugh..Girl complaining about an excel spreadsheet like it’s Satan’s work. IT’S AN EXCEL SHEET.
• There should be a curfew for doing work on Excel. #spreadsheets #dominating #life #excel #geek #fml
• I love it when a 350 character formula works as designed. #excel #theremustbeaneasierway
• I’m just going to keep calm and pretend that the Excel spreadsheet I’ve been working on for the past 8 hours did not close without saving.
• welcome to statistics, where we will play with excel and make charts look pretty
• That feeling when you’ve been knee deep in excel for two days and you finally solve the problem
• About to go to sleep. Husband: "can you create an excel file with all expenses related to work for the past 13 months real quick?" -______-
• Just realized I can color code Excel worksheet tabs. I’m pretty excited about this. #betterlatethannever
• You have to love being sent an excel file that is password protected and you’re not given the password; then able to guess it first try.
• The only time signing a work email with your name and kiss is appropriate? When writing to your wife to ask for help with Excel
• Remember – you can kill someone with a chair but not with a pivot table 🙂 #excel, #pivot

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Did you work in Excel all weekend, or did you get out to see a movie, or play in the snow? Snowtubing might be more fun than Youtubing.

• Go and play in the snow, nahh would rather make various Charts and Graphs in Excel #priorities #workingman
• i work with models of fabulous figures everyday. MS excel models, not supermodels.
• Every day my math prof. spends the whole class showing us how easy it is to make graphs on Excel. We can’t use Excel on exams #WasteOfTime
• what they don’t tell you is that the excel we use in class is incredibly different from the excel on my mac.. #cantfindbuttons #fml
• My aunt asked me to make a graph on excel & she’ll take me to a movie tomorrow. **
• My kids are learning Excel and PowerPoint at school. Shouldn’t they learn to code so they can build things instead of managing things?
• Keep an excel spreadsheet with graphs open on a second monitor #keystolookingbusyatwork
• What do you do on Saturday nights? Oh, you work on excel data for your thesis? ME TOO!! #gradstudentproblems
• I just joined a message board solely focused on Excel to find a solution to a problem. New nerd low.
• I can never tell whether excel has carked it or if it just needs more time. Stupid "technology".
• At work, playing Temple run 2, fun run, and Ruzzle. These Cognos reports and excel sheets can wait.
• Just set a filter on an Excel Spreadsheet. No idea how. Like a boss!
• the game of trying to deciper someone’s Excel workbook seems like a losing game in the begining. but patience is key to cracking the code!
• For the last two weeks i have spent every waking hour working. I think my brain is now thinking in excel spreadsheet format. ****
• YouTubing how to make a bar chart on excel has to be my lowest point in life #useless
• There are 9 wonders in the world.. 8th: Pivot Table, 9th: VLookup.. 🙂
• The amount of anxiety I feel when Excel asks me to save a 100-page, 13 hour document I literally just opened to print is stupid.
• Spent 80% of my work day in Excel with vlookups and if statements. Am now super relaxed and calm. I need to do that more often.

______________________

Crying, nightmares and head injuries — things are not going well in spreadsheet world today. The wicked witch might be to blame.

• Doing charts on excel are half the time impossible an half the time boring.
• Ughhh i’m so bored and i just deleted some excel formula the boss keyed in so idk what to do now.
• I have just typed the words "killer frogs" into an Excel spreadsheet. This makes me happy, for some reason.
• i can’t believe i got out of bed this morning and walked to uni in the cold to look at an excel spreadsheet. i have fallen into a nightmare.
• Nothing is more intellectually stimulating than a 27 inch monitor filled to the edges with an excel worksheet of 6 digit numbers. NOTHING.
• Watching Excel self destruct. That’s what I get for trying to work after 4:30. What was I thinking?
• For one terrifying moment there, the massive excel spreadsheet that I’m compiling was ‘not responding.’ I almost cried.
• glad no one was at my desk right now to see me fail to be able to print a spreadsheet from excel. tried to beat the system and export a pdf.
• I have slain all the pivot table beasts… like a bawse. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land!
• graphs, charts and tables (oh my!) graphs, charts and tables (oh my!) graphs, charts and tables (oh my!) (kaboom!) Wicked Witch of Excel
• When someone sends you through an Excel spreadsheet and it looks like it was formatted by a student in grade 5. So annoying! **
• When I go on Instagram after I get off work, it amazes me that life happened while I was typing formulas into Excel.
• Showed son how to make a graph in Excel; now I’m a computer genius.
• My boss literally just sent me an excel file asking if I could delete a cell. And he’s getting paid MORE than me. I don’t get it.
• I’ve decided excel & even a minor head injury do not work well together. I see grids every where now, make them go away!
• Like, chill, Excel. It’s just a freaking telephone number, not a stupid formula.
• learns how to HTML code a theme for tumblr in 10 minutes, can’t figure out how to make a graph on excel in an hour
• The spreadsheet I’ve just been sent has a v.fancy pivot table in it. I actually said "Woah!" when I opened it. God help me.

_________________

Are you having a rage face kind of day, or are you happily making ugly charts in Excel while wearing your sweatpants?

• Dear Excel, I don’t like you either. But if you can just let me finish this chart, & power point we can both go back to ignoring each other
• I can’t work out how to delete multiple rows in Excel :/ But my whole job revolves around it… #FML
• I wonder how long it takes to get a real grasp of PowerPivot. Seems to get really complex really quickly!
• I thought I was good at lists but I’ve just seen a woman in Sainsbury’s with a printed excel spreadsheet with items listed by aisle
• My boss just gave me a crash course on =VLOOKUP in Excel… mind = blown! All the wasted years of not knowing this awesome voodoo!
• There is clearly no upper bound for how ugly you can make Excel charts.
• Sigh….I love pivot tables. #excel #nerd #dontjudgeme
• Teaching my girlfriend how to do some cool tricks on Excel for her work. My life is a mile-a-minute, white-knuckle thrill ride.
• Excel Pivot Charts has made this a rage face kind of day.
• Love can easily turn in to Hate when its between You & an Excel sheet.
• I’m drinking coffee and staring at an Excel spreadsheet.. Is this what it’s like working in an office?
• Building excel charts while wearing my elastic-bottom sweatpants. It’s a good day on the job.
• Ready for another Episode of my dog ate my excel pivot table boss
• We don’t have error bars on our graphs because no one in the lab knows how to get Excel to make them. #OverlyHonestMethods
• Excel, anytime you’d like to work and prove you’re superior to OpenOffice would be nice. Anytime now. 😐
• Im running out of ways to pretend I’m doing work at my job. I’m making fake excel charts and we don’t even use excel. Need a new #challenge
• I have been working on the same spreadsheet all day today. That plus the onions from someone’s lunch are making me stabby.
• EUREKA!!!! 2 HOURS!!!<<amount of time it has taken to understand this pivot table thing..I should have just read help to begin with..

_______________

Instead of using Excel, can you run a business with a napkin, a mattress and David Bowie?

• It’s never good to see "What am I using this section for??" as a cell note in a complex Excel workbook.
• We were given a template to create a Gantt chart from Excel in #projectdevelopment. It’s like Christmas all over again! #dhwi
• Forgotten just how easily Microsoft Excel eats time. Tantalisingly close to solving the problem but oh so far away
• Last night I dreamt I oversaw Bowie’s new tour and made the stage theme Excel spreadsheets-I hate when work gets in the way of a good thing.
• I’m pretty sure Excel makes me even more stupid.
• doing anything to avoid work in college. even made a pattern of highlighted squares on excel. #artistic #thatbored
• All good businesses start with a napkin. If you can’t make the numbers work on a napkin there’s no need to bother with excel
• At work. Excel doesn’t work. I’m an accountant. This is a problem.
• Teaching my grandma how to work Microsoft Excel… She’s taking notes & drawing pictures of the buttons #socute
• Okay, now i hacking my own excel worksheet all because i forgot my password to unprotect it. #fail
• Excel didn’t want to roll over chart data and recognize a new year began. I showed it who’s boss.
• I made an awesome excel workbook and my mattress is getting delivered today…yep, getting older.
• After an hour of unsaved work and having Excel crash, I understood that my true calling is to be a stripper. Peace out.
• Excel, what problem do you have with only showing a partial cell on the screen? Wide columns are SOOO annoying in you!
• You know you’re a business major when you use Excel to chart and predict the best textbook prices for the spring semester
• Spent almost all day frigging with excel again, only to twig that I could’ve saved a few hours with a simple pivot table. Living the dream.
• here’s what i did for my first day back at work: opened excel, stared listlessly at monitor, went out for lunch then i forget the rest
• I’m doing Excel Pivot Tables in my hotel room. I’m just THAT cool. Yeah.

___________

If you don’t have a ukulele, you’ll have to ask your dad to do your work, if you’re trying to avoid Excel. Or just get a bigger monitor, and get to work.

• I just created my first pivot table in Excel. Please don’t tell the other liberal-arts majors.
• Doing everything I can to put off this Excel work. Played my ukulele for a couple of hours now I’m finally sorting out my Flickr account…
• My dad is doing my Microsoft Excel school project for me. Upside to having a someone from his field of work as a dad.
• Haven’t seen my wife this happy in these couple of weeks. What cheered her up? An excel spreadsheet *faints* #fb
• I envy those people who’ve never had to look deep within the soul of an Excel spreadsheet.
• Upon getting a job in finance, request a Mac for work. Insist that excel will work flawlessly for you. #trendy
• You know you love your job when opening up a brand new 2013 Excel spreadsheet of invoices excites you 🙂 #happytimes
• New monitor at work today. I can see columns A to AK in Excel all at once. That’s what’s up!
• My new hair clippers come with a USB cable. What is it going to try and do, upload hair data and make a pivot table out of it?
• DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO WORK THIS MICROSOFT EXCEL THING?
• When your excel spreadsheet works out and the bar graph makes sense…the excitement in this house has been intense.
• Don’t tell me there’s something wrong with my spreadsheet when you are the one who does not know how to use excel. Geez.
• haven’t left the house for 12 days. It’s definitely taking its toll on me; mum just walked in to find me laughing at an excel spreadsheet.
• Dissertation just got serious, I made graphs on Excel #wizard
• Glass of scotch. Editing an Excel spreadsheet. Damn I feel like a grown up.
• what am I doing at 3:40am on a Saturday night? Watching a footie game and working on this Excel worksheet. yup geeking it up.
• I list my sins on an Excel spreadsheet and pretend the ‘Clear Contents’ button actually says ‘Clear Conscience’ – Excel Confessional 2013
• My boss has people entering a formula to filter data in Excel, which has a filter function. Girl, what? No wonder these people are confused.

_________________

Yes, life in the cube can be frustrating, especially if Excel keeps crashing, or if your co-workers try to sabotage you. Maybe a pivot table would help.

• Starting the day by clearing my phone, email inbox and creating an excel spreadsheet for my expenses this year. Ooooh organised 😉
• Standing in a field and I need to make a spreadsheet. Oh, that’s right. I have a @windowsphone! Excel document saved to cloud.
• really don’t love it when excel crashes for the 876685785931st time in one day…
• spent half an hour trying to work out how to get a text box on a chart in excel.. not even google knows this one #macproblems #doomed
• Learning something new today, going to learn how to work better with #Excel. A few new formulas to make hockey scoresheet better.
• "Hey can you make me one of those spinnin tables?" -Do you mean a pivot table? "Yea, that."
• I love how fast Word and Excel load. You know why that is? Because it’s largely the same code you were running on your 486 in 1995.
• i have spent way too much time making my excel sheets and charts to plot my simpsons watchage. #nerdmuch
• Don’t know if I’m more proud of completing a six-hour spreadsheet project, or deleting 1200 photos from my phone. Gotta start 2013 clean!
• Dear Excel, Why do you have to make things so complicated? Just protect the damned workbook! No love, Lis
• I really think this girl I work with tried to sabotage my life by sending me a BLANK excel sheet and confused me by adding pivot tables
• getting angry at excel doesn’t make it work better #labreportgoingwell
• I now have an Excel spreadsheet of the main #wineries in #Mendoza along with their opening times. Willing to admit I may have a problem…
• Wow, I just used the 6th grade math PEMDAS rule I happened to remember for an Excel spreadsheet. #mnemonicsrule
• having an excel spreadsheet open on your computer ALWAYS makes it look like you’re doing work, no matter whats on it
• "If there’s an Excel problem, yo I’ll solve it. Check out this formula while my pivot table resolves it." -Me, rappin bout life in da cube
• I hate excel with a passion. Correction, I hate inputting data and trying to obtain a straight line graph with a passion.
• Just #REF!’d out an entire Excel workbook. It’s going to be a long afternoon

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Happy New Year! May the upcoming year be filled with fresh spreadsheets and no nightmares about Excel.

• I have an excel spreadsheet waiting for me at work. There’s 1402 things on it I need to check…I’m only at 200
• Excel only crashed 24 times while editing the combined RFP spreadsheet. Awesome. Save. Save. Save. Dammit.
• My Dad’s planning was next level. He had an Excel spreadsheet and everything.
• Excel, when I’m making my book price spreadsheet for next semester, its not helpful for you to put the IBSNs in scientific notation. Thanks.
• I LOVE the start of a new year….fresh goals and a fresh spreadsheet to track them in (how I also love MS Excel!!) 🙂
• Just learned about excel pivot tables from an online tutorial probably made for 80 year olds #backtoworkblues #technologicallyimpairedduck
• My nerdy accountant boyfriend makes me melt when he talks about making me an excel spreadsheet to solve my spending-addiction.
• I very rarely come in contact with the Excel spreadsheet but when I do it reminds me of the days of DOS computing.
• So..any Excel experts out there? Imagine someone was stupid enough to replace the correct version of a vital workbook with something else…
• What sleep! I have been having nightmares about stupid Excel all night
• She insisted she could use Excel spreadsheet, yet she had a calculator in one hand. ?
• Me and Microsoft Excel, still a better love story than twilight
• Made an excel spreadsheet to help me decide what to do with my life. Results show only a 20% difference between possible job choices. #:(
• I realize it’s not #excel I should hate, but rather the idiots that make me use it for things it’s not meant for. Excel is not for charts.
• Ugh I’m seriously ill equipped to deal with people who use more than 3 colors on an excel worksheet. #excelsnob
• I’m feeling so resolution-licious lately. Are you? Any good ones? I think 2013 is going to be the year of the Excel spreadsheet!
• YouTube is saving me right now… Don’t know the basics of Excel?! No problem! YouTube does! Awessssome
• Using Microsoft’s spreadsheet program Excel is a lot like willfully filling your pockets with rocks and walking into a deep, gushing river.

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I hope you enjoy the holidays, and your stocking is filled with sweet macros and pivot tables. But remember, don’t argue with any talking spreadsheets! Tell some bad Christmas jokes instead!

• Using a pivot table to sum the ingredients for the different recipes in my Christmas meal spreadsheet. My geek power will rule the world!
• Chris’ mother-in-law has made a Christmas spreadsheet. Are you as organised or slightly more slapdash?
• I wonder if Santa has the “naughty or nice” list on excel. I’ll bet it was all kinds of sweet macros and pivot tables.
• Mum is quite literally contemplating making an Excel spreadsheet to monitor my 25-year-old brother’s fever.
• Who took the filters off my Excel spreadsheet! #WorkingGirlIssues
• I’m hiding the numbers of the fibonacci sequence on this excel spreadsheet… I wonder if anyone will notice
• Why did I never think of adding a pivot table to my budget till now? 😮
• I probably should have read the message that popped up from closing that Excel Workbook before clicking a button. #1stWorldProblems
• my dad has made an excel spreadsheet of everyone’s christmas presents. soon he’s gonna make a pie chart to see which child is most spoilt
• According to the Lady of the House, successful Christmas shopping depends on how detailed your excel spreadsheet is #HELP #ShopTilYaDROP
• And of course I don’t hang out at Linkedin. Only guys who wear blue oxfords and work on excel spreadsheets do that.
• Arrgh! errant workbook delete in excel, hours of work gone, why hadn’t I saved yet?!@#$?…:>(
• Inside the twisted mind of MS Excel: “I’ve sprayed the printing of your simple spreadsheet over 8 sheets of A4 paper. Have a nice day!”
• I think people are endorsing my excel skills on LinkedIn as a joke, not sure though I do know my way around a spreadsheet.
• just your average evening of excel spreadsheet magic
• Just learned that my father-in-law keeps a spreadsheet of restaurants he’s been to that lists what he ordered & if it was good. <3 x 10.
• Dad made an Excel spreadsheet tonight. You would’ve thought he parted the Red Sea the way mom reacted. #technologyisntforeveryone
• Dad paying me to produce some bar charts on excel for the business #easymoney
• Staring at these accounts all morning has made my head go a bit strange. Hasn’t it, talking Excel spreadsheet? “Yes, it has. Beep.”

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If you do Excel work, and get paid with cups of tea, does that make you a teetotaler?

• My dad has discovered Excel & thinks it’s so cool! LOL Dad: "this is awesome. I love this. Honey how awesome is this!?" Mom: *not bothered*
• why is MS Excel the most impossible and frustrating invention that exists 🙁 someone please help me. All I want to do it make a pie chart 🙁
• Conditional formatting has just taken a swift blow to the knees. That’s excel told who’s boss!
• i feel like such a pro at excel. two graphs complete with error bars in less than twenty minutes. boom.
• Nothing like sitting in a dark, warm classroom all day learning how to create Excel pivot tables. My brain is mush.
• Today I did the impossible. I reached the last cell in an excel spreadsheet. Biggest achievement of my life
• Well, another problem solved in a state of semi-consciousness standing in the shower. Excel, I will be done with you for 2 wks starting Fri.
• I don’t know what’s worse….. sitting in an Excel class all day or just going to work. Not like I have a choice so here goes….
• Still at the office.. Trying to create a intricate pivot table in excel … The life of a young gangsta!
• Took business for 2 years and still don’t know how to make a pie chart on excel
• That boy also suggested we work the weekend creating some linked Excel to Access file for our stats. Umm…I’ll have to pass on that too.
• Havent used excel in years.Just tried a simple excel multiply formula&gave up.I code 4 living but this excel logic is rocket science to me:/
• Dear Excel, what is so hard about find and replace? You used to have no problem with this. #makingenemies
• If my dad doesnt know how to graph this in excel then there is a serious problem
• Reason I shouldn’t code in VB for excel: took me 10 minutes to find "show developer tab in ribbon." Reason I should: it’s excel
• You know your an adult when you have an excel spreadsheet of names and addresses to send people Christmas cards.
• Love it when I get bribed with cups of tea to make people in the office Excel Spreadsheets with lots of formulas. I’m so uncool! #geek

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If you had an astronuclearthermophysics degree, you could probably fix all the Excel macros in 1.5 hours, without using Google.

• The last thing I was to be looking at, at 2 in the morning is a stupid excel worksheet.
• You know you are tired nerds when you start making up dance moves based on Excel *do the pivot table!*
• Why does excel have a HIDE function??? All it does is make you think you deleted the whole worksheet! #EffYouExcel
• Tnx again google and youtube! Excel problem solved.
• Why do I suddenly need a degree is astronuclearthermophysics to make a pie chart happen in Excel?
• I have 34 excel spreadsheet open. Depressingly, this isn’t even close to my record.
• About to produce a cross-tab of doom. Or a pivot table of despair. Which is better?
• Nothing calms me down like reformatting an excel worksheet.
• And P.S., guy: no one wants to see your "crazy Excel spreadsheet." #starbucks
• Sitting at work teaching myself Excel. YouTube is a serious game-changer!
• I have 2 hours to show marketing how to debug 50 excel macros because they didn’t want to pay someone 2 build a
  database. #fml
• In my napmare, I drowned beneath a sprawling excel chart. I awoke fetal but functional #Sumif
• Instead of studying for finals, we’re making an excel spreadsheet of how loud everyone on the floor is
• I started using VBA macros on my Excel worksheets. Blew my boss’s mind. #steppingup
• I need to create a very complex pivot table today. I think I’d better let the carbs from my paella sink in first.
  #puttingitoff
• You know what I miss about having a proper job? Those quizes people send round in excel at xmas when they can’t be
  bothered to do any work
• Listed ingredients of all recipes in spreadsheet. Now ready to make a pivot table. Why are you laughing? #notjoking
• My dad wanted to make an excel spreadsheet for our family’s toothbrushes… #butwhy #honorskidsprobs #nerdstatus

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Be careful while you’re sitting in Grandpa’s chair, and using Excel – you might accidentally kill someone!

• For the first time ever, I have not been able to Google for a solution to an VBA Excel problem and have had to post a question on a forum
• Guess who just deleted the ENTIRE excel workbook of our inventory that I was updating….. **
• MD asked the new associate if she knew what a pivot table was. Then suddenly she had a confused look on her face….The bliss of youth
• You had me at "I know how to make pivot tables in Excel."
• I am at war with this pivot table that does not want to understand that it has to change. I understand change isn’t popular, but seriously!
• What’s the equivalent of writer’s block, but for an Excel spreadsheet? I just opened a new one, blanked, and immediately closed it.
• At my dad’s office to ‘use Excel on a PC’ which is of course code for sitting at my grandfather’s desk pretending I run the company.
• My mom just told me that she’s going to make a chart of all the money I spend because she just learned how to use excel…
• Dear Excel, don’t play with me. I know I am doing this Pivot Table right. Don’t mess with my emotions now!
• Guns don’t kill people. Excel kills people. First rule of Excel club…save often. #broketherule #FML #lostm http://t.co/Ov5eebw9
• "Do you want to save your work?" "Yes" "Microsoft Excel has stopped working"
• Making the 2 in CO2 superscript in graph titles in Excel is probably the most infuriating thing I’ve done this month.
• Bow ties designed in excel. I’m afraid i can’t not love that geekiness @grumblemouse
• Put on my propeller hat and taught myself some Excel formulas and code just so I could say "Mine’s better than yours!" at work tomorrow.
• Nothing makes you feel smart like recoloring bar graphs in excel…
• Staring at a blank excel document pretending to work because I ‘m done and everyone else is freaking out
• The source data selector for charts in Excel has to be the worst piece of UI I ever have to use.
• There are people I work w/ that don’t know how to navigate an excel spreadsheet. I assume these people also have difficulty getting dressed.

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No matter how nerdy you are, you shouldn’t print an Excel file so big that the printer runs out of ink. That could lead to a divorce!

• So bored at work. Typing fake phone numbers in an Excel document to look busy. #twomorehours #thankganjitsfriday
• One day I will get Excel 2007 or–dare I say it!–2010, and I will be able to save spreadsheets as .xlsx, LIKE A BIG GIRL. Stupid 2003!
• I sent my boss an Excel spreadsheet I worked on all afternoon to make it look professional.He replied back "thnx" like if we’re texting -_-t
• My idea to color code this entire 340 line Excel spreadsheet document is now proving to be the death of me and cause of my blindness lol
• next i ask my wife how to create a chart in excel and she pulls out a "creating excel charts for dummies" book.
• Seriously, Friends has ruined me. I work with pivot tables in Excel and spend half my time shouting ‘PIVOT!’ in my head. Funny Schwimmer!
• Hehe accidentally just printed all 1000 iterations of that excel problem…or I would have if the printer hadn’t run outa ink |:-)
• Seriously. Excel if you have just lost 2 hrs of my work then you will have to explain to my boss why my laptop jumped out of the window
• Compiling a basketball Excel spreadsheet. Is it too nerdy to say I really love the design of Microsoft Office 2013?
• Playing with charts and graphs avoiding real work. Learned more about Excel as a valet then I ever did in school
• I hate Excel so much that I hate every spreadsheet produced by anyone else but me. My sheets are a masterpiece!
• have you ever created a mammoth of an excel file, ridiculous huge, then smiled and thought, how beautiful my work…yea me neither
• #Excel how do I best describe my hate towards you?
• Ok so I’m having a brain fart and can’t remember how to create this graph in Excel. Who wants to help?
• In hell I’m certain that Satan will make me create Excel Pivot Tables for eternity. #firstworldproblems #excel
• I need a charge code for "The formulas in my Excel file make it so huge that my computer takes 20 minutes to process anything."
• & don’t walk up to a bartender and expect them to give u an excel chart on how much every shot and every drink is!!! ******
• Excel and I almost filed for divorce at lunchtime, but then I made a pivot table and all the happy memories came flooding back. #NotOverYet

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