Yes, using Excel can turn you into an adult – an adult who makes very bad basketball jokes. Slouching towards adulthood with one hand in a fist and the other editing a spreadsheet. My manager doesn’t understand Excel. So everytime I make him a spreadsheet in under 2 minutes he thinks I’m a freaking genius….
Try to avoid sacrificing any Excel files today, especially if you’re organizing the next Olympics in that spreadsheet. Asking my dad how much hamburger I should buy for a barbecue inevitably leads to intense number crunching and complicated Excel charts. Is it possible to hide a whole spreadsheet accidentally? Or is that my Excel sacrifice…
Is it even possible to love Excel too much? Strangers on a crowded bus, on the other hand, aren’t usually so appealing. Someone pinch me — I just helped a coworker with an Excel problem. Me! Excel! I’d love to help you with this. First though, what is an "Excel file" and how do you…
Pivot tables can help you work with exponential efficiency, and slay dragons, but please take time to drink and breathe. Ice cream and peanut butter cookies will help too. Actually used a pivot table at work today which is 1 more time than I ever thought I would use it in the real world Sent…
After a day of looking for an Excel needle in the haystack, try rolling your calves on a pivot table, while you relax. I’ll write you a love song – me to my guy. "I’ll make you a spreadsheet in Microsoft Excel." – my guy to me. Smh. #romance This excel spreadsheet is looking at…
If you want to get back to that happy place, after working in Excel, try some chocolate, or a short nap on the futon. There was a time I didn’t even know what a pivot table was. A happy time. Working on a spreadsheet for 3 hours and then being told it has already been…
If your brain is too frazzled, you won’t be able decide if food is more important than Excel. And why do shopping carts and office buildings look like spreadsheets? For a simple tool it’s amazing the carnage you can cause when you send the wrong Excel spreadsheet out #cockup #biblicalscale #sadpanda I’ll stab myself with…
If you’re going to dream about pivot tables, make sure you get them working right, and give yourself a few stars when you finish them. I’d like to see any of these so-called Olympians do a VLOOKUP or manage a pivot table. #LearnedInGradSchool An Excel spreadsheet brings clarity to any situation. For example, today I…
If someone leaves an Excel training brochure on your office chair today, just ignore it. You’re only having trouble because the coffee isn’t working. If they had an Excel spreadsheet pivot table making competition, I might watch more. #London2012 Just spent way too long making up an Excel workbook for budgeting throughout the year. I…
This weekend, get out of that gloomy, grey science building for a few hours, and do something that you enjoy. Pivot tables are fun, right? Or you could watch some of the Olympics. If you’re bored at work, NEVER tell your boss. Always keep Excel open and pretend you’re working. #LifeLessons Work needs to be…
Yes, Excel is the only thing that could make the happiest place on earth even happier. Now polish your halo, and click Refresh. Am I the only one who wishes their iPhone had excel so I could acess my Disney planning spreadsheet on the go? I just made a spreadsheet. Feel a little bit dirty….
Keep manipulating those all singing all dancing Excel worksheets. It might not be an Olympic event, but the hugs and giggles make it enjoyable. This is it. Today is the day. I am working on #excel not because I have to but because it IS easier. #Yay! #geek #work #ihavearrived Highlight of my day someone…
Olympic fever is everywhere, even in our spreadsheets. What office sport do you Excel at? Stapler throwing? Pie charting? Has anybody ever been helped by a terrible looking excel chart? Can I just stop making these now? I luv when my boss has an Excel question & the answer’s really easy but he’s so impressed…
It’ll be a busy couple of weeks, if you’re trying to work in Excel while you watch the Olympics. And remember to eat a sandwich occasionally, to keep your strength up. That’s it, I’ve just won at life — and, by "life," I mean "Excel charts." #researchassistantlife Oh Excel spreadsheet. They could write a sitcom…
An instruction book for Excel? Surely it hasn’t come to that! Just stare at it for another couple of hours, and it will all make sense. Hey people really good at Excel, what is that one formula that populates the past 3 weeks of work I didn’t do into these cells? Nooo just spent an…
While your creative mind is busy with number crunching today, remember to save your Excel file occasionally. That absolutely horrible moment when you realize you made a typo in a formula…on 60 different worksheets. #excel #excelproblems #fml I just love it when I discover a simple formula for something I’ve already spent 30 minutes manually…
Pink spreadsheets might be perfect for your Excel wedding plan files, but not for business reports. People will think that you’ve been smoking something! everyone that I work with makes the most boring excel sheets all of mine are color coded in all different shades of pink. You know you’re an industrial engineer when you…
Can you get a pivot table at Ikea, or do you have to go to the edge of the universe, and beyond? Every Excel genius should be able to answer that question. Had breakfast with a statistician; lost subsequent six hours in Excel seeing if my course evals look better as piecharts or bar graphs….
Working successfully in Excel requires a delicate balance of latte, Mountain Dew and chart fumes. But be careful, some charts create a surplus of fumes! Accidentally hid an excel workbook and thought I had lost it- -who came up with such a feature?!?! #terrifying Intern candidate sent in her resume in an Excel spreadsheet…as my…
Of course the time you spend working in Excel makes a difference in this world. And it’s even more important during the Olympics, so get your spreadsheets ready! Hacking excel code like a boss… if such a thing is possible. Making the biggest spreadsheet man has ever seen! THE OLYMPICS ARE COMING!!!! My nicknames in…
A pivot table book is not a good substitute for a fly swatter. And if you break your arm, it will be harder to clap when you get excited about your Excel accomplishments. They want me to make all these fancy charts in Excel, what they don’t know is that it was a struggle just…
Do you remember the old days, when 3-D pie charts were cool? But no matter how much they change Excel, we still love it. Most of us don’t take pictures of it though. Let me finish making this spreadsheet so I can get on with my life Someone asked me how I became an Excel…
Did you get your pivot table skills from your parents, who are Excel geniuses? Or are they having a screaming match about Excel, while you yell at charts? Finally completed one excel spreadsheet!! I’ve been staring at the same excel spreadsheet since 11am this morning. I’d like to try waterboarding now. My parents are Microsoft…
Instead of photocopying an Excel book, you might learn more if you read it. Try at least the first 50 pages or so. In preparation for tonight’s wedding shower, I made a spreadsheet full of pastel colors. Yes I have spent my Friday night making a spreadsheet. Judge away. "26-page" and "Excel spreadsheet" are not…
It’s Friday the 13th, so be careful. Save your Excel work frequently, so you won’t lose it all if you accidentally hit the power switch. You don’t want your dog to see you crying. I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to figure out how 10 cents disappeared on a spreadsheet. Time to go…
No, Google can’t help you with every Excel problem, but it could help you (or your secretary) find my tip on how to change those column headings from numbers to letters. when faced with a complex issue, make a spreadsheet #thingsmyparentssay I am making graphs in Excel. A new career low 
Well my boss…
It’s 7-11 Day, so be sure to get your free Slurpee. It’ll keep you cool while you try to figure out where your boss and Excel differ. Boss will be here today. How do I make Twitter look like a spreadsheet?! Dear Client, when i tell you to fill out the spreadsheet for import, i…
Perry Mason would hire a detective to do his data mining for him. And Della Street would know how to open Excel, and make the formulas work. OK, so watching a DVD didn’t happen. Filling in an Excel Spreadsheet at 4am happened. #ISwearIGetNerdierEveryday I vow to never be defeated in life by anything. Especially this…
If Excel starts to dance, you’ve either stayed at work too long, or nodded off in front of your computer again. No one thinks that you’re working. printed off a 7 page excel spreadsheet i’ve compiled and now i feel like the greatest scholar the world has ever seen Today I await the arrival of…
Excel has poetry, romance languages and Magic Mike, but are these things sexier than a pivot table? Started reorganizing excel spreadsheets for work and I. Cannot. Stop. #insane Creating a spreadsheet to organize and manage something important. Nothing else out there to solve this problem. This is how apps start. "This is fun", I whisper…
If you’re tired of copying and pasting in Excel all day, maybe you could hire some clown to do that for you. Or a spider. Ah … ‘Microsoft Excel has encountered a problem’ 
Don’t say it’s Higgs causing that Well i just made myself look like a massive fool by missing off a minus…
Happy Fourth of July! Did you make all your Excel sheets in red, white and blue today? Or did you step away from Excel for a while, to clear your head? Excel is always asking me if I "trust" the contents of a spreadsheet. Are they usually not trustworthy or something Oh dear, another day…
Which type of Excel chart makes you laugh longer – a pie chart or a bubble chart? Or do both types, with default blue fill color, make you feel nauseous? Got an excuse to create a pie chart in Excel. Woohoo. You know you need to take a break when you dream about Excel macro…
Too bad you don’t get a gift card for every day that you work in Excel. That nerd crown must be worth a few dollars though. Just received an Excel spreadsheet with all the cells filled with a variance on this: 310.603 + 83.947 + 125.920 Today is being awesome. I hate it when people…
If you find an Excel macro that saves you a billion years of work, be sure to write it down, or pin it to your Excel Tips board in Pinterest. Otherwise, you’ll never find it later, when you need it. Is my love for excel spreadsheets something that shouldn’t be announced via twitter? #idontcare #nowyouknow…
Have you ever made an Excel chart in the shape of a giraffe? If not, maybe you need more coffee, or a little more Excel magic. Do any of Jon Peltier’s chart utilities create animal shapes, or just waterfalls? An Excel spreadsheet is the romance language of nerds. my new boss doesn’t know what cells…