Be careful while you navigate those complicated Excel worksheets. You might hit an iceberg, and we all know how that will end.

While you’re searching the internet for those Excel answers, maybe you could show the boss how to use Google too. That might give you more time to work on your golf game statistics.

Yes, you can use Excel for tracking World Cup goals, or your life goals. A pie explosion should not be involved in either of those – a rainbow might be nice though.

If a rocket scientist learns to print in Excel, is it time for wine? As a bonus, there might be some delicious pie chart, if you learn all 10 of those secret Excel tips.

After you build Frankenstein’s spreadsheet, take some time off, and enjoy some classic blues music. Or, make fun of people who use a mouse, and build worksheets in landscape orientation.

Are you here for the Excel training, or just for the free pizza? Remember to open your workbook last week, so you’ll be ready for class today.

Don’t ask the bartender to make you a spreadsheet, or you might see a VLOOKUP face. Ask the Help button instead.

Keep your shirt buttoned up – you can find Excel help on YouTube. Soon, you’ll feel like an elite athlete, or a party planner.

If you’re up all night, working on Excel, be sure to plug in your laptop, and unplug the phone.

What should you wear while working on your Excel files? Business casual? Perhaps something from the Rocky Horror collection? Or would formal attire be better?

Don’t drive your Excel workbook to the edge of a cliff, and leave it dangling over the side. You’d need lots of ramen, sweeTarts and whiskey to recover from that!

Don’t worry! All is not lost – next week you might get to test some code, or find a formula that fixes your life.

Just ignore the high school kid who is writing code. You have more important things to do, like figure out the Office 365 pricing options, and write apology notes.

Could you build a house with Excel, or would that require too much coffee, and perhaps sacrificing your firstborn? And remember, you should save frequently, all day long, not just once every two weeks.

Spring is finally here, and we can finally use Excel for important things, like taxes and sports. But if things go wrong in your spreadsheet, please don’t resort to witchcraft, porcupines or graph paper.

Was your job description written by an Excel expert or a 9-year-old? Does it pay in Flex dollars, or nightmares?

If you take too many naps while using Excel, you’ll never level up. Stay awake, and don’t leave those charts in the default colours! I have no motivation to do this excel work today. Maybe tomorrow I’ve been running on a treadmill of bugs coming from a code base written before my time.. in… Excel…

You’d better brush up on Excel, so you’ll look like a genius. Otherwise, your family could be torn apart, and the dog’s weight could skyrocket. Oh, and you might end up as a stripper. A pivot table saves the day once again. And I get to look like a genius. Sad when the highlight of…

Were you supposed to delete all those cells? Will your co-worker delete all your Excel changes? Is a spreadsheet the answer to any problem? Took an entire class on excel back in the day and now it’s like I’m trying to decipher the da vinci code Ha just spent two hours on excel making charts…

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope you’re spending time with the love of your life – Excel. Did you remember to buy a gift for your favourite function, and a a bouquet for that awesome pivot table? Excel needs a turbo button for processor-intense functions. Doesn’t need to work…I’d just feel better if I could press…

Even if you didn’t major in Excel, a pivot table can change your life forever. And Excel charts can make you dance. You would think after years of looking up how to make a graph on Excel I would remember how one of these time. #Nope I’m converting everything to Excel because I want to…

Don’t let Excel cut into your nap time, and don’t fall for its pickup lines. Before you know it, you’ll find yourself in a café, making charts. I could be sleeping or watching netflix, but no I’m learning how to work excel. When did they change Excel so that making a pie chart is more…

Would your younger self be proud of how much you know about Excel? Or would your younger self think your life is a horror movie? “Son, prepare a spreadsheet with the chores you’ve done and create a pivot table to compare chore time vs homework time.” Business Dad Omg I didn’t pay attention in class…

All the cool kids are hooking up their laptops to their televisions, so they can watch waterfall chart tutorials on YouTube. Getting a convoluted excel formula to actually work is strangely satisfying. For future reference Excel, I am ALWAYS sure I want to keep the workbook in this format. Most of my dates come from…

It’s okay to have the occasional snack at your desk, but even the 8th graders know that you should keep the exploding donut charts away from the onion dip. Doing some number crunching at work. And by number crunching I mean copy and pasting into Excel. When excel insists on freezing, due to the size…

Are you glad to be back at work after the holidays, and using spreadsheets again? Pace yourself though – don’t make too many charts or pivot tables on your first day back. Throwing my name in the ring for employee of the month after using a VLOOKUP & a pivot table within 12 hours of…

When Excel crashes, is it a sign from God, or the work of Satan? Did the cavemen have these problems? Microsoft Excel WILL NOT ruin my holiday break. JUST WORK!!! Oh it’s 2AM already? Excel knows it’s time to begin freezing up on and closing unexpectedly. Work of Satan, I tell you. In #dataviz the…

Happy holidays! If you “Gantt” get what you want for Christmas, a little whiskey might help ease your pain. There’s a Gantt chart video at the end of the page, that might help too. Or, if you want to feel like an INDEX function boss, check out the video below. New thing I learn bout…

Oh no! We don’t want to see the Office paperclip popping up in Excel! Didn’t Clippy retire around the same time as Bill Gates? said it once. will say it again. why does excel act like it is trying to win a nobel prize. i just want to make a bar graph yo VBA with…

Of course you need a pivot table to track your Christmas spending! Every Excel fanboy and English major knows that. The day I discovered that you can add color to your worksheet tabs in Excel was the day no file was safe. COLOR CODE EVERYTHING About to graduate Rutgers and still having trouble making a…

You survived Thanksgiving, with a little help from Excel. Now be careful – there are spreadsheets full of sharks out there! And Contextures is having a Black Friday Sale — get our Excel Tools add-in at 50% off with discount code CTXBF13 — until midnight Eastern time, Friday Nov. 29th. So far today I’ve had…

Dad is at work because people who know how to use Excel are usually employed. And it’s not just the birds, or nerds, who know how to write macros. Ok I’m trying my best to keep a #positiveattitude. But must you color-code every damn cell in Excel??? #MUSTYOU??? ?????????? Anyone that sends me an excel…

While Excel is busy sorting the inventory, you can climb Mount Everest, and make your charts sexier. I wonder if I can reprogram Excel so that when I change the size of a line graph it says ‘The plot thickens.’ These are the kind of people I work with: even written verbal reports without data…