Lucky interns! They get to work with Excel, which hadn’t even been invented back in my summer job days. And they don’t have to correct all their mistakes with white-out, like I did. When IT can’t help you with a pivot table you are officially a nerd or a operations mangement excel freak. #everyonelovesanerd #godhelpme…
If you have an Excel problem, do you guess the answer, or do you just Google everything? Maybe your boyfriend/roommate/groom knows the answer too. I’m just now opening Excel which means I haven’t done any work today Every time I use the UPPER function in excel I type the word supper. Not sure what that…
If you need Disneyland money, remember that people probably won’t pay extra for gradient backgrounds. Creating VBA code that works might get you some cash though. Just about won an epic battle against #Excel and its crazy formatting that’s twice in a week! Good things happen when I start creating dashboards and pivot tables in…
Doesn’t everyone post Excel ideas on Pinterest? What else could you possibly post on that site? Ok…I’m pretty sure I’m the only person that tweets about Excel… #nerdswag #excel I never thought I would have a desk job because I’m a drifter. Yet here I am, working on an excel spreadsheet, for the VP, at…
Today’s Excel questions — Can you find all the buttons in Excel 2007, without Googling? Did you know that Professional Excel Development is a mystery novel? Microsoft’s announcement is a version of Excel that lets you plot simple correlation graphs without wanting to lob your PC out the window. So, it’s 3.00am after my first…
Participating in a VLOOKUP competition might be a sign that you need a vacation. Or maybe some OLE action would brighten your day. He recalled of the time his boss told him, “If you can’t use Excel without a mouse, keep your résumé updated.” Excel: "Microsoft is waiting for another application to complete an OLE…
If you’re trying to look intelligent, avoid using rainbow graphs, cartoons, and 3-D pie charts in that fake Excel file that’s always open. A pivot table makes a good impression though. If we could ban faux-3d pie charts from Excel the world would be a better place. #MarkingStudentsAssignments I will pay someone to come up…
If you have to do something 40 times in Excel, maybe recording a macro would help! As long as it doesn’t interfere with the US Open feed, of course. People that use #EXCEL sheets as databases should be working in non-computer related jobs. And shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce. Thank god for #YouTube #excel #selfhelp…
Finally back after a long delay, here are my favourite Excel tweets from yesterday. If you’d like to track down the author of any tweet that’s posted here, copy part of the tweet into the Search box in Twitter, and you should find the original tweet and author. I was trying to create a Gantt…
If you can work Excel like a magician, you won’t need a team of assistants, or a stapler, to build your spreadsheets. I love excel spreadsheets and have began using them unnecessarily just for fun ► I just learned how to do a pivot table in excel. I feel like I just discovered the wheel….
Some people are using Excel to keep track of their online dating, and beauty products. I’d rather have old people problems, like poorly formatted forms. My boss just perked up when I said “pivot table”. #NERDALERT ► If pivot tables were a source of sustainable nutrition I wouldn’t need to eat for a week. Holy…
Do you dream about doing Excel stuff all day? Or is that a nightmare? Maybe the answer depends on the pay level. I don’t understand people who use these fancy $ budgeting websites. It’s called an Excel spreadsheet, people. Simple as that. ► there’s only so long I can stare at an Excel spreadsheet before…
Wine with dinner is an excellent reward, so treat yourself if you’ve spent the day debugging Excel macros. Taught myself how to do a pivot table in excel without the help of a BA. My reward? Wine while cooking dinner. #corporateamerica ► Just saw a hologram of Tupac working on an Excel pivot table in…
Don’t knock over pencil cups, just because someone wants you to colour code an Excel file. That type of thing should only happen in the Kid Zone. Going to bed with stupid excel formulas still on my mind. You may have won today Excel but tomorrow…I OWN you! #sleepwithoneeyeopen ► It’s Friday night in Las…
Today’s tweets were hard to believe. Are you sure that nobody cares about making Excel charts? Is it possible that the boss was right about something? Now my boss wants to know why weekly cost projections have switched from Excel to a spray painted message on his desk threatening his dog. ► Discovered the keyboard…
It’s fine to yell "Bullseye" occasionally, while working in Excel. Just don’t go to the dark side. Haha, I have a good sense of humor and enjoy a good joke, except in the instances listed in the attached Excel spreadsheet. Please forward. ► i was going to make you guys a chart, but i don’t…
If Excel could talk, would it really sound like Marvin from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy? Would it be perfect husband material? I typed a date into an excel spreadsheet on Thursday and it changed into a random number. I immediately called the bomb squad. ► Am juggling twin tasks of making a pot…
Be nice to Excel, or it could delete all your work. Even your former boss, who makes way too much money, knows that. My first Excel spreadsheet, it’s going well. ► My info tech lecturer just said #Excel is stupid…THANK YOU!!! iThought it was just me that thought so ► The Mrs wanted a simple…
It’s spring! Celebrate by making your Excel worksheet look like a rainbow, or an Easter egg explosion. Handling someone else’s excel sheet is same as working on someone else’s code. Only no/lesser comments! ► There is no greater pleasure than plotting an upcoming holiday in Europe on an Excel spreadsheet. ► my excel spreadsheet looks…
Ignore the grocery checkout guy – it’s perfectly normal to create your shopping list in Excel. Just solved a co-worker’s excel problem. WITH SCIENCE. ► Hell is an endless Excel spreadsheet of math and a room of noisy coworkers. ► I’ll spend the rest of the day in Excel. You can find me via vlookup()….
If you won the Mega Millions lottery, you can buy a shoe tracker app. Otherwise, you can just build one in Excel. You better believe if I could put that excel workbook on the fridge I would. But the file is massiveeeeee #nerdtweet ► You know you’ve failed in life when you can’t even get…
Have you made an Excel chart since middle school? If not, maybe an exciting Excel boot camp would help you. My Matlab license expired, so I had to make a graph using Excel like some kind of goddamned animal! ► thank god my code to crash #excel at random is working properly now. I hate…
Which could you create faster – Van Gogh’s Starry Night, or a pie chart? Would you need dual monitors to work on your masterpiece? I should also sell tickets to watch me wrestle with pivot tables in Excel. Along with heaping mounds of complicated, intertwined data. ► Making a spreadsheet to compare closing cost estimates…
Excel wizardry and Pivot Table terror – it can affect you, even if you’re old, and working in Canada. Why is one of Canada’s largest companies using excel 2003. My graphs suck ► Successfully made my first line graph on Excel. Only took an hour + to figure out. #fml #computergenius ► Today an employee…
If your dad wants you to become an accountant, just pretend that you don’t know enough Excel. Maybe you could slice bread for a living instead. After working in excel for 3 hours, "Do you want to save the changes you made?"… You probably know what I clicked. #FML ► When you work with an…
Will a Mimosa really help when working with Excel? I’m pretty sure that my boss will let me try one, to find out. Things I should have known about long ago: you can refresh your pivot table data instead of making a new pivot table… #excel #duh ► Are the developers of every spreadsheet application…
You might be able to create your charts on an Etch-a-Sketch, but the colour choices won’t be as plentiful as they are in Excel. Boss: OMG look what happened to our excel file! WTF! Me: I did that, you asked me to yesterday Boss: oh. Well….ok ► OH Excel, I love how you can turn…
When you hit corporate rock bottom, you can try out for The Apprentice, and flaunt your Excel skills there. Or go to the Dairy Queen for an Excel-lent ice cream great. Everyone wants Advanced Excel, pivot tables, Look ups, but there seems to be little call for clean hands. ► Haha that guy on the…
No, you don’t need a spreadsheet to use the Tube, but it will help pass the time while you travel. reminds me of a lecturer opining that "the only point of fancy Excel charts is to distract attention from the data" ► OTOH, it might make more sense to skip spreadsheets and go straight to…
Stop worrying and start loving Excel. It will be nice to you very soon! Creating "good eater chart" with Excel. #parenting2012 ► Is there a program you recommend for making knit charts? Or does everyone just muddle through with excel? ► Excel bar charts…why can’t they be prettier? ► Argh! When my dad said "my…
I’ve seen an audit bag, but never heard of a bag audit. Maybe that’s because I have the technological mentality of a 50-year-old. Is there a limit to how much information you should present on an MS Excel graph? Or does it not matter as long as clarity is maintained? ► Plus you usually hate…
Does Excel deserve a bad rap? Does the dark lord of Excel work at city hall and listen to Keith Urban? Something very soothing about making project plans in Excel. It’s like work but not work. It requires action but no real thought. ► Stuff I love: Keith Urban, MS Excel, and quiet in the…
If your Excel charts are too horrifying, perhaps you were inputting the wrong data. If not, maybe some kickboxing with solve the problem. I can honestly say I get Microsoft Office envy at work daily. Its amazing what some people can do with an #excel spreadsheet. #justsayin ► Googling "how to make a bar graph…
Before you burn you mouse, make sure that you really know all the Excel shortcut keys. Otherwise, you and Excel might end up with irreconcilable differences. Making a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet with all my potential jobs on it. This is how real nerds assess their career options. ► you would think I would love a…
Now it’s getting personal – Excel charts are interfering with our hair maintenance! Maybe that’s why Loud Guy makes so much noise. I am stuck in excel spreadsheet hell. HELL!! *shakes fist at the crappiness of it all* #shouldhavebeenabakerbytrade ► Staying at work later than normal because I’m totally slaying this spreadsheet and can’t stop….
If the coffee and chocolate don’t solve all your Excel problems, have a few cups of tea. Then you should be ready to tackle that nail polish worksheet! I have a dream that someday, Excel will have a "boss button" that pops up the NCAA March Madness coverage ► Why are excel spreadsheet so bloody…