Category: Excel Humor

You can’t unlock the secrets of Excel unless you work for the Feds, or you paid attention in class. And if you’re over 35, just give up hope – you’ll never understand worksheets.

• This is my boss when he uses Excel: "What? Why? Stop. Stoooooop! What? WHAT?! AHHHHH? Why?!" […eerie and sudden silence…] WHAT?!
• The only thing I have taken from my 5 year tenior in college and used at work is microsoft excel
• This excel spreadsheet has 216 tabs!
• In today’s world #ERP and Excel must get along. Problem is when spreadsheets take on a life of their own.
• I am no closer to unlocking the secrets of Excel 2002. It will be like discovering some ancient treasure when I work it out.
• I just made an Excel spreadsheet, complete with filters, so I know what fruits/veggies are in season when. #nerdalert
• Helping my dad with work in Excel of which he knows nothing. And the student becomes the teacher! 🙂
• So excel has got me all stupid and now I can’t figure out how to turn on the heat. Grrr!!!
• Let me rephrase. No one in my industry over 35 knows Excel. Seriously. Twelve questions because no one knows what a worksheet is.
• I know people from work read this. Are any of you good at conditional validation stuff on Excel 2002? Come save me before I lose my sanity.
• Just found out about the "veryhidden" attribute in an excel worksheet. Very sneaky.
• I have an excel spreadsheet where I’m trying to track some advanced metrics on my fantasy football team. Girls are fleeing in terror.
• Don’t trust anyone that knows Microsoft Excel 10 out of 10 they work for the FEDS or paid attention in class either way don’t trust em lol
• I swear Office offers random options just to perpetuate hideousness. Texture fills for Excel charts?! #wtf
• Currently making an excel spreadsheet based on rhinestones and their corresponding Disney princess….for work. #seriously
• Chucking a hissy fit: Microsoft Excel has somehow messed up all the work I’ve done on my tax return so far! Thanks a lot, technology >:-(
• dear excel, if I have to work today, you do too. that’s all #getonyourhorse

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Related Links:

• Excel Data Validation
• Excel Filters
• Excel VBA

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Some days, you can get Jell-O eyes from Excel, even if you don’t have a hangover.

• Just because I can code websites, this does not mean I know why your Microsoft Excel is not working!
• And now the patter of rain on my office roof disturbing my concentration on a spreadsheet… perhaps I am being told something…
• Twitter never let’s you down, obscure excel question and in less than a minute 3 helpful answers, thanks all. Appreciated
• Dear Excel, if I’d wanted you round to the nearest whole number, I’d tell you – otherwise why would I be entering 3 decimal places?
• I blogged! Tips on setting up multiple usernames on FB & Twitter. Includes my "check if it’s taken" excel spreadsheet: http://t.co/JSDncqbs
• when your microsoft excel functions bring back ‘error.’ #hellinacell
• Excel – and why it’s always a People Problem http://t.co/yFb9SHBo
• Entering gas receipts into an Excel spreadsheet to be imported into my personal database. I track that stuff. Is that weird? #SQLServer #OCD
• Excel VBA is great for improving productivity, whilst making you look like you’re not busy when running the code.
• Excel, this is not the week to encounter errors, ‘quit unexpectedly’ and not recover my work. Making me nervous over here…
• Spent an hour on a mortgage problem in excel, called my dad and he goes "mortgage is 1475" in a min. #bloodybrilliant
• what is worse my excel spreadsheet problems or the dolphins losing again I am glad I made comfort food today Rigatoni and meatballs soon
• dear powerpoint, don’t blame me. the charts are the ones who are hard to manage. sincerely, excel
• Teaching myself how to do complex things in Excel. I think my boss is a bit bemused at how excited I’m getting about formulae.
• I am forced to conclude that no one over 35 knows how to use Excel. Just answered the same question 12 times.
• So apparently I need to re-learn all math ever for the GMAT… Doesn’t everyone just use Excel? #fml #unnecessary
• At work breaking from monotonous spreadsheet entries. Working on these with a hangover=not pleasant. #MyEyesFeelLikeJello

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Functions
• Excel VBA

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Don’t wear bright shoes, and avoid bosses who colour the Excel sheets yellow. These things do not make your spreadsheets seem more epic.

• Two hours work on a massive Excel file wasted because "Select All" turned out to really mean "Select Some." #MSfail
• I love listening to video game music while at work. It makes Excel spreadsheets seem so much more epic.
• 140 characters just isn’t enough to respond. I’ll send you an excel spreadsheet 🙂
• Love blowing people’s mind with Excel, I am amazed after all these years people still don’t realize what this program can do.
• Have to remember how to do charts showing standard deviation in Excel – blaarrghhh #braincellsdying
• My boss swears he is doing big things by highlighting this excel spreadsheet..yellow everywhere…smh
• looking for a cave with a electrical outlet so I can hide out and finish my kettle spreadsheet uninterrupted…
• I’m really sad – I have an excel spreadsheet that I copy each year with all names on & then I start the present hunt
• OK, Excel, you know we have this love/hate relationship. Today’s mostly the latter. Don’t worry, it’s not me, it’s you. Definitely you.
• I wish there was a way to post an Excel document to Twitter. This thing is a work of art!! #nerd
• And btw THANK GOD FOR EXCEL. College made me fall out of love with Math but it made me fall in love with YOU 😀
• You know you’re tired when you’re wondering why iTunes isn’t recognizing your iPod…and then realize you actually opened Excel.
• The brighter the color of your shoes, the less you know about pivot tables in Excel.
• Thanks for enabling my tantrum guys, I will never use excel again after this I swear. Not worth my bp going up!
• I been pretending to work all day, with this old Excel document open & a piece of paper in front of me
• I wish I wasn’t still at work… and I wish I wasn’t still using Excel. #fb

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Conditional Formatting
• Excel Pivot Tables

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Some days, it’s tough to deal with Excel and your boss at the same time. Maybe a 460 word explanation would help. Or a quick dance with a robot.

• Excel isn’t a word-processing software. It’s a spreadsheet software. I think many people don’t know this thing.
• mike can you help? they hid that thing on my computer where you turn the page like sideways you mean landscape? #excel #youshoudnthavajob
• day two of green charts . . . has Excel become self-aware? is it making it’s own decisions? why does it love green so much? #Excel #Weird
• So I dreamt I was dancing to Swan Lake in an Excel worksheet with the robot Microsoft help assistant. He was quite the mover. I ? Excel
• Excel file is open and your boss asks you, What are you working on?#stupidquestion
• I had just had to go over order of operations with my boss in Excel…please, promotion, you can’t come soon enough.
• Dear Pivot Table, thank you. I would have totally lost it and given up on this job (and smashed the monitor) if it weren’t for you.
• I decided to type "yo boss" in row 66580 of a work excel spreadsheet. I wonder if he’ll notice/be mad.
• Today, I had to teach my boss how to select multiple cells in Excel using the control key. After 40 minutes, she still doesn’t understand.
• So much work to get finished before the end of the day, so I’m off to the spreadsheet mines.
• OMG its soo fun troubleshooting in excel. And im not being sarcastic.
• My boss needs to stop messing with my excel workbook. I just spent all this time repairing a broken formula. >:[]
• For my 1st project my boss sent me an Excel spreadsheet for quoting and said "Here, I want this automated." #imnotaprogrammer
• Well, I just sent a 460-word explanation about a data-entry and pivot table excel sheet. Probably won’t be enough.
• I’d love to have a friend who is a Microsoft Excel junkie.

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Data Entry Tips
• Excel Functions

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Please use Excel for good, not evil. Create an Excel bakery, instead of a hitlist.

• I got an Excel spreadsheet of the ppl who owe me money, in time it will become a hitlist #sorrymom
• Adding charts to Excel spreadsheets gives the illusion I’m actually accomplishing something meaningful. #lifepostcollege #PGP
• It’s so dangerous we are warned weekly. Every year, students die in tragic grouped excel worksheet fires.
• My mom can’t make a call on a cell, but that woman can make an excel spreadsheet like no one else
• Just because I do charts in nice colours, Boss thinks I can do chart magic. Had you let me attend the advanced Excel course, maybe la…
• I will be burning my microsoft excel workbook at the end of the semester
• Made so many pie charts yesterday, I think I call my office the "Excel Bakery."
• D.O.N.E!! Dear boss, just coz I rock at Excel does NOT mean I love working on it!! -_- #grumpy
• 30 years old and i’ve never done a spreadsheet before. HOW DO YOU USE EXCEL :/
• Having a bad day?I’m working in financial budgets and am stuck in a massive Excel spreadsheet. You should be feeling better now.
• I’ve just unbodged someone’s spreadsheet and created an efficient, workable document. In my mind, this makes up for what I lack in html.
• Does anyone know of a way to share an excel workbook on twitter
• I have no idea how to work Excel. How do I make a spreadsheet? Why is this necessary?
• Oooh, I’ve had a ‘minor loss of fidelity’. But don’t worry, ‘im indoors, I am not seeing the milkman. Just a problem with Excel
• MS Excel is the greatest trick Bill Gates has ever pulled on mankind to delude them to think that they actually do some work!

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Functions
• Excel Templates

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Yes, we get older, but not smarter, and we deal with our Excel problems any way that we can. But, to be fair, maybe that computer had the Etch-a-Sketch version of Excel.

• Computer screen freezes on Twitter.. in work.. Boss walking down the corridor.. mild panic.. And just before he arrives.. Open Excel! yey!
• Wahhhhh, someone fix my stupid excel spreadsheet! It’s totally broken 🙁 I hate you excel.
• You know you’re serious with Excel when your boss offers to drop 8GB RAM into your system to handle the processing.
• This is how I ensure my productivity when I am tasked with making charts and graphs in Excel. http://t.co/IX0r4Rn8
• Up at 7am playing with Excel pivot tables #rocknrolllifestyle
• Finally got the macros in this Excel spreadsheet to work. Let the game simulations begin!
• You know you need a happy hour or to go halloween deco shopping when you write "bat country" in your excel report.
• Way to impress me #excel! =Upper got an out loud cheer at my desk.
• i need to learn how to do fancy pie charts in Excel. apparently they are crowd pleasing.
• Then, one boss, who’s been rather intimidating and dismissive, asked me to redo somebody’s matrix because I’m "obviously skilled" in Excel.
• I’m either gonna really love or hate Microsoft excel when I’m done with this project. Still too early to tell…
• ‘we can’t use your pivot table because our people don’t know Excel very well’ Excuse me? D:
• so importing data into excel spreadsheets is probably not on my top 10 favorite hobbies nor does my attention span appreciate this activity
• I am such a nerd that I’m actually excited about studying linear programming in my spreadsheet modeling class.
• Dear Excel, why must you fight me this wonderful fall morning? WHY? #excel #justaskin
• Scared to fall asleep tonight. Not because of spiders or rats… because I’m afraid of having dreams about making charts in Excel. #longday
• Just witnessed a 40 year old woman shake her computer screen because she erased a workbook in Excel. Yes that’ll fix it lady.

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

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Do you reward your perseverance in Excel with Welsh cakes? Apparently they should be served with butter and jam. They probably go nicely with coffee too.

• That awkward moment when your boss says good morning to you with a big smile on his face and you are too focused on Excel to smile back ._.
• trying to overcome what’s looking like a #MurphyDay after a morning glasses search (cat related). Quarantined with an excel spreadsheet.
• Teaching my 11 year old son Word tables and Excel charts is proving more stressful than implementing a 600 user system. #fail #aaaagh
• i would like to proclaim my love of coffee, and excel autosum.
• spent a good portion of the afternoon getting overly excited about a jazzy excel spreadsheet I made. Surely that’s not healthy… #ubergeek
• j has pretty much sorted it all for me too…he has skills I do not. Also known as saving. And excel spreadsheet thingies.
• I may suck at doing a statement of cashflows but at least I can make my excel spreadsheet aesthetically pleasing 🙂
• No matter how high the number gets, I flat out refuse to add a "Cosmetics" row to my budget spreadsheet.
• When I plug realistic numbers into this spreadsheet, the result is a tiny little pile of broken dreams. I think Excel must be broken.
• Proper temp work today – massive excel spreadsheet & treated like dirt.
• After almost 2 yrs of me sending out same Excel spreadsheet, rep asks me: What does it mean when line is crossed thru the store name? >_<
• i can’t believe i’m going to say this, but i was just calmed by an excel spreadsheet.
• I am on line 451 of 1284 on my spreadsheet. If I get to 1111 I’m going to reward myself with a welsh cake.
• dear excel. do not tell me what i cannnot do with my worksheet. its MY worksheet!!
• just lost 5 years of my life due to a pivot table that refreshed incorrectly. excel and I are not on good terms right now.
• It’s nice to be wanted, even if it is just to sort out a mess of an Excel spreadsheet!

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Data Entry Tips
• Excel Pivot Tables

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A Sorting Hat? Google tells me that’s from the Harry Potter series. Maybe Excel should come with one of those –- that would be grate, errr, great.

• I should start charging people for giving #Excel tips over the phone
• so many things I love. 1) you made a SPREADSHEET. 2) the spreadsheet is in the voice of the sorting hat.
• WELL, COMPARED TO WHEN I WAS AN EXCEL IDIOT THIS IS GOOD.
• I know I’m not supposed to look at my mom’s HR work but her payroll spreadsheet is bloody awesome and so professional~
• it shouldn’t be this hard to make pie charts in excel. i mean really?
• An Excel spreadsheet shaded to look like green bar impact printer paper? It is way too early in the week for this kind of madness.
• This is killing me. I’m like Dr.House. Looking for a cure of a sickness you dont know the cause. Sickness : Excel Problem
• I just want to take a moment to say that SUMPRODUCT is my favorite Excel function.
• Day 1 of an Advanced Excel class today and learnt something new from one of my students, I love when that happens. (I’m not being sarcastic)
• I can’t imagine a worse format for somebody to have used for this material than Excel.
• Not had a great morning – lost the spreadsheet I had been working on all morning. Grate. Now at clients
• Thank god it’s nearly lunchtime – I’ve got a multicoloured excel spreadsheet burnt into my retina
• And when I say ‘manipulating’ I mean, ‘this Excel spreadsheet is probably manipulating me’.
• Well, we’re doing Gantt charts in Econ. right now and MS Excel isn’t particularly good at it. There must be a better way.
• I feel bad calling my old teacher an idiot for wasting my time teaching about excel pivot tables…. I use em everyday now @ wrk smh
• He is pretty nerdy.I didn’t need to see an Excel code to tell me that 🙂

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel SUM Functions

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When words don’t look right on your Excel spreadsheet, call it a day, and announce that it’s Margarita time!

• Ugh, my usual problem solving method of making an Excel chart is not making this problem any easier to deal with.
• It’s that time of the week when normal words no longer look right. I’m staring at a spreadsheet thinking "is ‘c’ supposed to be in ‘match’?"
• I never feel like I HAVE to make an excel spreadsheet. I always feel like I GET to make an excel spreadsheet. #IAmAHugeNerd
• Oh God. I just made an excel joke with my boss. And he got it. And we laughed. When did this happen to me? #nerdtweet
• still can’t understand the Pivot Table in excel..help me…
• never realized that there were professionals that DIDN’T do all their work in Excel. IPad for me is an impediment to work…
• Just figured out how to make waterfall charts and found trendlines in excel. Must go to sleep. #MBAsknowhowtoparty
• Does anyone know how to create a pivot table??? I forgot
• Eyes have crossed due to excel spreadsheets of radiology reports! Love that job! 🙂 Now, MARGARITA time 😉
• Love how #Excel on mac will show spreadsheets in multiple windows. Why can’t PC do this???
• Having far too much fun with an excel project….my boss sure know how to spoil me! #Ilovespreadsheets
• Daily Tip 4 College Students #1: Learn to use Microsoft Excel. I don’t mean just making columns and rows. Learn pivot tables, formulas, etc.
• I know not many of you will understand or care, but PowerPivot for Excel is the greatest thing Microsoft has ever made. I’m in love.
• Things I don’t understand: Terrence Malick movies, Microsoft Excel, debt ceilings, why people love Mumford and Sons

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel INDEX and MATCH Functions
• GetPivotData Function Pivot Table Books

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You won’t get your Excel homework done, if you keeping thinking about puppies on skateboards.

• Trying to get Microsoft Excel to do standard deviation is like trying to teach a puppy to ride a skateboard.
• Work told me today that they’re sending me to an Excel/macro programming class and I’m excited! I know I’m a huge geek!
• I just showed a sergeant on base how to use excel
• Trying to work on Excel spreadsheets while balancing an icepack on my head. This is new 😉
• iWorry that another excel sheet will make sure that iCant excel any more in my work today.
• Helping clare with excel sheets for her class at school. I should be charging the school for the IT consultancy I’ve put in.
• people laughed at me when I made a spreadsheet of my Cali trip, detailed down to the 15 min. we are a family of excel lovers.
• In 30 seconds, this class just turned from "let’s get a head start on your problem set" to "how to use excel 101" #wasteoftime
• She had a spreadsheet ‘Marry me vs Don’t marry me’ and I found it 3 years after we got married. The cons outweighed the pros. Hahahaha.
• Guess who just closed Excel without saving changes and lost an entire morning’s work? #thisguy Glad I wasn’t working too hard now.
• Officially given up on lofty dreams to make it to Head in my early 30’s. Gave up a year ago when I realized I am just an Excel Monkey.
• I am one vey uncooperative Excel graph away from being done with this stupid lab.
• Alright. I’m a dork. I started my holiday spreadsheet. About 70% done with shopping, too.
• I feel clever AND stupid at the same time. Mathematics + Excel does things to one’s brain.
• This girl in my class just asked to cheat of my homework, it was so awkward because it had to be a typed excel spread sheets.
• one new workbook a day keeps the chilling completely away #excel #fb
• Is there any way to die in a glorious way from formatting a spreadsheet?

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Functions
• Excel VBA

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Maybe that annoyed student won’t think Excel is so easy when they get to the nest IFs portion of the Excel course. Or maybe he hasn’t had to print anything yet.

• OH; "Your best friend should be the pivot table". Personally, I like my best friends to be human
• #Excel is a reality distorter. One suddenly believes in the fake numbers we put in ourselves #reality #SuperDUH
• #Macs are great except if you need to use Excel. Awesome! and I’m a finance major #fml #storyofmylife #someonefeelbadforme
• I love how I’m not allowed to use my own computer (that I bought) because my brother needs Excel for his homework. Whine.
• My boss is still teaching me excel. It is quite amusing, more for him though 😉
• In such a bad mood after this morning’s computer related issues (well Excel and the printer to be exact). Excel is the bane of my life.
• Just got a big excel project at work with lots of numbers and I don’t wanna do it! I dont like maths! #headhurt
• Fave Milton Keynes things: If you’re at work, planning a trip there and the boss walks past, it doesn’t matter – the map looks like Excel.
• Homework done and my eyeballs hate me. I never want to see a spreadsheet again. Well until 9am anyway 🙁
• My boss just taught me how to do "nested IF clauses" in Excel. You learn something new every day.
• Just attempted to get class interested in Information Is Beautiful website when doing Excel Charts. Not much interest, it has to be said…
• went to unplug a fully charged mobile phone but accidentally unplugged PC with unsaved excel formula that’s taken an hour #fml
• Had a vivid nightmare about printing spreadsheets for my boss & now I am afraid to open Excel. I think I need therapy.
• omg people in this class are so stupid…. excel is so easy; leaving early!
• I like how all of a sudden youre supposed to know statistics and Excel in college… didnt get that memo #fml
• You know you spent too much time in Excel when you dream all night about sorting rows.
• Excel is so limiting! 5 people talking about best way to organize a new spreadsheet. Good use of time? #Cubeville2

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Functions
• GetPivotData Function Pivot Table Books

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Get out your coloured pencils and make a few charts for the boss – those twelve hours at work today will pass quickly!

• Quickly becoming the Excel Jedi at work, like it or not. Would rather be a real Jedi. They probably dont dream of spreadsheets.
• 3 hours with Excel and pivot tables. Data analysis in schools takes teachers’ time away from teaching!
• LOL My boss just closed excel with out saving his home work. *Having a huge childish fit right now….*
• Just learned how to use #Excel pivot table slicers!!! Yay this is awesome 😀
• I feel my talent is being wasted! My best work today a excel table a stupid table!
• I forgot how complicated excel charts can be.
• my boss just asked me to count how many ppl we sent newsletter to, gave me excel spreadsheet with names… seriously.
• Did you know if you select all the worksheets in a workbook &click out of it they aren’t unselected? Time to redo work #Excel#Learning #Sigh
• Worked all day. Excel thought it’d be funny to break and discard all my work. Worked the day all over again. Twelve hours.
• Right…Payday…Microsoft Excel and me are going to work together to sort out my train wreck finances…
• sure-fire way to be sure you’ll never be my friend: send me an excel spreadsheet where every cell is formatted differently.
• Driving in awful traffic to an excel seminar. I hate my boss for scheduling this. #dontfireme
• Microsoft Excel is the most boring thing ever. I’m fed up of making pie charts!
• I AM AWAKE!! …and hafta go back to working on Excel. i am now past pivot tables and onto graphs. what a thrill!
• I don’t have any myself but I bet there’s lots of Excel-ent spreadsheet jokes put there. Sorry.
• Struggled today thanks to glorious MS access and Excel I’m starting to wonder if colouring pencils could be a real alternative for charts.
• My Boss recently completed’Excel for Dummies". Now, the rest of us are reading "The Dummy Unleashed

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Related Links:

• Excel Chart Utilities
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Slicers

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Even at 85% zoom, a blank Excel workbook doesn’t look any classier. However, it’s better than a worksheet filled with Transformer info.

• I love when people go they are advanced at excel. I’ve seen what IT can do with excel, your =sum(A+B) functions don’t make you advance
• I feel like I’m hazing this co-op: he’s already made me a cup of coffee and written me an Excel code to help with my work today.
• I may not get any sleep tonight, if I can’t figure out how to do these stupid formulas on Excel. #stressed
• Who knew the 65,536 row limit in Excel 2003 would be a problem… #Sour
• Today instead of doing work, i made an excel spreadsheet, organized by date and time, to keep track of my shows. Don’t judge
• after saving more than 70 names and cp numbers in excel, i accidentaly overwrite it with a blank document.waaahh!
• It takes becoming a technical editor and knitwear designer to truly love and appreciate a relationship with Excel.
• I think the OCD part of you is asking you to catalogue the voices in your head on an Excel spreadsheet.
• My computer at work "Cannot quit Microsoft Excel." #BrokebackCallCenter
• Aretha Franklin always makes excel sheets easier to work with #RESPECT
• Always amazes me how much classier any Excel spreadsheet looks at 85% zoom than at normal zoom.
• I keep Excel open on my computer so it looks like I’m doing work while playing Brick Breaker. You can’t say I’m not working, I made graphs!
• My boss is looking for a replacement now: any dumbass who vaguely knows excel and lotus can have my job. Numbers is not rocket science.
• I love excel, given the datas are consistent yah. Once people screwing with the data, it’ll be a pain to work with it.
• I love excel, those cheeky little cells and sexy formulas… 🙂
• Froze my excel once again, someday I’ll have a computer that can handle the work I do
• i think if i see one more excel sheet i will really faint. how can you get a disorganized person to do organized work?!
• Interviewed a guy today whose hobby is collecting Transformers & keeping an excel spreadsheet of their robot powers. Yep.

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel VBA
• Excel Functions 

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Did Excel treat you nicely yesterday? It was Monday, and by the look of these tweets, things didn’t go well for everyone. Maybe the right kind of music helps.

• I feel much better about the bits of the world I can express in the form of an excel spreadsheet #nerd
• I find that pies are good for instant visuals, charts in excel is dead easy – literally select the data and click chart 🙂
• During tomorrow’s online stream of race, it’d help me fake productivity at work if they occasionally showed an image of an Excel spreadsheet
• Excel… You weak piece of rubbish… Work damn you…
• I am an Excel spreadsheet mo-ron. Heavy on the "mo". And the "ron", too, really. ;P
• Jeez, Excel, all I did was ask you to fill the outcome of a formula into 230,000 cells and you act like it’s some big deal.
• I hate using excel for my homeworks
• Today is the day I give Feist a fair shake. Long playlist queued up, making excel charts.
• Is it wrong to love excel spreadsheets?
• I like how my boss thinks I’m not competent enuff with MS Excel when I tell him the same solution as our so-called Excel expert does. Idiot.
• Happy Monday! Bring on another 5 days of excel spread sheets, pivot tables, V-look up’s and endless amounts of emails.
• Soooo I’m doing a lot of work in Excel, copy, pasting, etc…and all I hear is: *Diggy voice* Copy, paste. Copy, cop,y paste.
• Green Day…pushing me through some Excel work this morning. #vivalagloria
• I have a happy problem. I have 4 quotations to do by today. But with the new excel sheet I’ve come up with. It’ll be a BREEZE! 😀
• Oh, goody. Now Excel is doing some weird whack-a-mole thing I’ve never seen it do before. My computer is on drugs.

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel Functions

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Excel can do almost anything, but you shouldn’t expect it to get marmalade out of the duvet.

• MySQL is cool and all, but why can’t we just run a website off of a complicated Excel spreadsheet?
• It’s only six hundred thousand cells with database references, what’s your problem excel? #waiting
• Just created a 19th tab in an Excel workbook: Bibliography. That’s a first for me.
• Wish me luck… I’m going to attempt my first pivot table… all by myself, from scratch… :/
• Not motivated to work on an excel spreadsheet, twitter is more fun. #justsayin #nomotivation
• Coffee+Excel+Archer+HDTV+Cookies=A pretty okay way to do work
• Sitting at Starbucks creating excel sheets on my laptop, emailing from my iPad, and tweeting from my BBerry. This is stupid.
• Jamie is enthusing about doing pivot tables in excel. The grin on his face frightens me. What has my brother become?
• Pivot tables are for people who have insufficient excel Fu to make their own tables
• I’ve been more interactive on Twitter this morning than with my Excel Spreadsheet.
• It’s not what I usually do but just rescued friend’s Excel document – looked like it was attacked by Skittles. Phew! That was a close one.
• Today I made my first spreadsheet. I still can’t get the Marmalade out of my duvet
• I need to be churning out creativity. I can’t be stuck with figures, numbers, and excel charts.
• But I do Excel at Work ONLY because it lets me keep a job that lets me come home to Word.
• stupid excel. stupid median, stupid pivot tables. stupid homework

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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Even if your boss asks you to do his Excel graphs, please don’t use words that would make your mother get out the bar of soap.

• This morning I spent 4 hrs creating a button on a spreadsheet which inserts an incremental digit into a cell when you click it. I’m ON FIRE
• Excel and I can’t seem to get enough of each other this semester. I’ve been working on the same spreadsheet since 10pm #CorporateFinance
• Step 1. Get asked to do a pivot table. Step 2. Say yes. Step 3. Google ‘pivot table’.
• Problem solved. That was strange. No idea why that happened. Must’ve clicked something weird in excel.
• My construction partners are working on a 4.1 Million dollar job!! I completed the Excel spreadsheet MYSELF yesterday!!! Top that!!! lol
• i’m using bad words right now. my mother would tell me to wash my mouth out with soap. it’s a swearing moment tho. stupid excel is stuck
• Found out today that my first and only successful attempt at creating a macro is pointless due to client not having current Excel. #fml
• To celebrate Engineer’s Day today boss has ask me work extensively on Excel sheets.
• It’s still an huge frustration to me that I can’t have two windows of excel open. As in two screens, each with one spreadsheet.
• Apparently my boss has never made a graph on excel before… Don’t you learn that in 4th grade?? #HowTheHellDoYouHaveAPhD???
• I swear.If life was a game. The big bad boss one would need to kill at the end would be called "Excel" *chills down the spine*
• why doesnt anyone do the work in this class?! everybody supposed to be in Microsoft Excel but all I see is fb, emails, online shopping, etc.
• dear cow-orkers, "ISERROR" is a valid excel function. it does not mean that the value in the cell you are looking at is incorrect. love, woj
• Boss: "What’s that thing you are really good at?" Me: "Excel, macros.." Boss: "No, no..TROLLING! Yes, I need you to help me…" #SMH
• Had never heard of a pivot table in excel, now believe it to be the coolest thing in the world. It’s a thing of beauty. #irenc.
• A coworker just called a spreadsheet I made "better than sex!" I’m just that good at Excel.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA
• Excel Chart Utilities

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Is your Excel world a commuter train, with suits and laptops, or is it magical land, with rainbows and unicorns?

• About to open Excel and start the dreaded spreadsheet. I loathe spreadsheets. I think in unicorns, rainbows and cotton candy. Eww, numbers.
• Crushing this excel project today. This is the first time I have used lookups and pivot tables #latebloomer.
• My spreadsheets are a work of art. Multi page documents all link together into the Voltron of Excel.
• Working on some gene lists. The part I knew how to code took a few minutes. The part I did on websites/Excel took all night… #bigdata
• I’m sending geek love through the Internets to your Excel in hopes it will stop it from being cranky.
• im on the train home in a suit with my laptop out editing an excel spreadsheet. I feel like such a young hotshot exec haha.
• I’ve come to realize that my mind works a lot like an Excel Spreadsheet. Problems get matched up with the simplest solutions pretty quickly.
• My office mate is an Excel genius & just fixed my problem in 30 seconds by creating an incredible formula of "nesting ifs." #changedmylife
• Don’t add a column to a spreadsheet in Excel when your machine has limited memory. The hours just fly by while waiting for it to finish.
• How anyone can write code and remain sane is one of life’s mysteries. I become disorientated using excel formulas
• Listening to 2 guys argue about Microsoft Excel Spreadsheet, and the flaws with it. So enthralling! #PowerPointRules
• Thought someone at work just called me an ‘immeasurable beauty’ but he was referring to the excel sheet I produced
• Would anyone be interested in going to class for me tonight? I would be quite happy if I didn’t have to sit through someone "teaching" excel
• Excel is such an easy class, I do my spreadsheet and spend the rest of the class on twitter…
• What a joyous moment when data is sculptured into a form that can be dropped into a pivot table for the final chiseling to answer biz Qs.
• Excel spreadsheet full of merged columns, pretty images, fancy borders – Its a spreadsheet. Its about the data.

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Related Links:

• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel Functions
• Pivot Table Books

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Yes, sometimes a day in Excel feels like a week in Wonderland. Or maybe that’s caused by the gin.

• Of course there’s evil in the world. Where else would excel spreadsheets come from?
• Who knew Excel could be so much fun. Just finished draft of a 75 page workbook. It’s colourful, and clickable!
• Tonight, after several gins, is going to be the first time I use Excel since manipulating my IT teacher into doing my work for me. #scared
• Adding a slicer to a pivot table has made me the Excel king. Bow down!
• Windows 8 for tablets will solve my Dads Major problem with his iPad: How do I run Excel on this
• Things are very bad. I have the ferrero rocher open, holiday bottle of metaxa open and I’m staring at excel spreadsheet doing finances.
• I’m Still Trying 2 Understand Why My Co Worker Doesn’t Know How 2 Rename A Workbook In Excel & He’s Been Using Excel For Over 10yrs :-/
• Alright…move over PowerPoint. I think I just fell in love with Excel. *swoon*
• I’m about to rock this pivot table! Take that SQL! #thingsnerdssay
• oh excel, how I love you in theory and hate you in practice.
• I think Lewis Carroll’s Looking Glass was really just code for Excel. #noescape #seeingweirdstuffinmydata
• It’s going to be a long night… atleast I got the Excel workbook out of the way. Now on to ‘individualism vs. collectivism’
• I was an hour and a half into my extensive Excel project and Excel quit. Everything lost. HAHAHA adorable.
• Just got called by work. Second night in a row. Managed to sort over phone. Excel problem. I am a genius
• Coworker called to point out that he is "liking" every angry status of mine on Facebook I am posting about Excel. lol
• You think you know how to vlookup & pivot in excel, but you have no idea…The Real World (# if MTV had a show about the real Real World)
• Dear excel, you should just be okay with a 85mb spreadsheet. Seriously. Love, me.

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Related Links:

• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel VBA
• Pivot Table Books 

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Focus on your work, instead of online shopping, and you might avoid tragedies, like accidentally deleting your Excel file.

• Work has made me addicted to Excel and online shopping.
• I’d forgotten how awkward Excel spreadsheet formulas could be.
• My boss is making me make an Excel spreadsheet of every check he wrote in 2010. Oh well… #overtime. O.O
• I want to make music…. not Excel sheets of pending Orders…!! #FML..#office..
• *head collapses on excel spreadsheet*
• Starting IT training classes today. I’m in the first one now. "EXCEL: The Basics." I get paid for this one ’cause it’s work-related.
• Just accidentally deleted about 4hrs worth of excel work.. Actually could cry right now.. This day is so so crap!
• Phew – just completed a massive all-singing, all-dancing #Excel workbook with loads of automation for a client – it runs his business!
• Excel training class is boring but productive. Going to conquer those pivot tables! #mediamath
• Would love to stay and chat, Twitter, but I’ve got to get the little one to school and then spend the day crunching numbers in #Excel.
• Did anybody else watch Square One and Mathnet as a kid? Memories. And here I am, staring at an Excel spreadsheet 20 years later. – T
• Third time’s a charm! – Me, every time I have to print an Excel spreadsheet.
• if you thought #Excel the spreadsheet is one of the easiest computer applications, think again #Sigh
• I love mornings where, sitting idly with a cup of coffee, you remember that the hidden Excel 97 Flight Simulator game exists.
• Coworker says he can’t open an attached excel sheet to do his expense report. So I continue to have to do it for him. #FML
• Thanks to my geek followers who helped me fix my Excel to Numbers problem. It was a Manual Calculation default in the newer version! Whew!
• Don’t send a pivot-table to an auto filter fight. #Excel

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Tips and Tutorials
• Excel Functions
• Pivot Table Books

______________

If your brain isn’t quite ready for Excel, try taking things step-by-step, to avoid a complete cell meltdown!

• My brain isn’t ready for Excel and Pivot Tables yet! #tooearly
• The last 2 hours of hate/confusion was resolved by refreshing all data in my pivot table. It doesn’t update with saves.
• Just seen Excel 2010 for the first time. Looks good. Hope it’s easier to get rid of the zero’s on a worksheet than in 2007 🙂
• My life is over. Missed a parentheses when calculating my values in excel. There goes 7% of my grade. FML.
• I like how many of the functions and spreadsheet linking in Excel was born from the mind of a lazy programmer. #toolazytotypeinstuff
• Nasty behavior in #Excel 2010: arbitrarily changes and distorts all my chart dimensions. Have to recreate a workbook with 40+ charts!
• A donor sings ‘Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars. Let me see what Spring is like in Excel cell D6.’ (needs work)
• YouTube is great for everything! Just taught myself excel and another spreadsheet program with it. Amazing
• I hit CTRL+P to print an Excel worksheet the same time an IM pops up… And you print the IM… Oh, Microsoft you’re so helpful…
• I have come to the conclusion that Microsoft Excel is stupid and lame and I hate it. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.
• this prison of a spreadsheet can wait.it can wait for me to melt its cells until numbers deform and devalue in a puddle some dog can slurp.
• My brother wants me to create a spreadsheet for him in Excel. If I don’t do it I will show all my schooling was a joke lol
• Asking a designer to work with excel is a crime against humanity. #anticonformists #crime #excelsucks
• no problem. Mind you, you don’t need Excel 2 tell you the Kiwis will win!!
• I’m using excel. I hate excel.
• I’m going excel ‘cross eyed’ this morning… charts, graphs and reporting work for a client… more coffee required!
• Am doing the step-by-step (ooh baby!) way of doing work. Step1 open financials excel workbook. Done.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions
• Excel Chart Utilities

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Never sign up for an Excel workshop on parade day. That could lead to wine drinking, and crying.

• Why do I even try and learn on my own anymore? An hour of screwing with an Excel spreadsheet=nothing. 32 seconds on Google=everything’s done
• wow, having to google how to create a dropdown list in an excel spreadsheet. icky.
• Everyone at work is too busy putting out fires to listen to my excited squeals about conquering excel.
• I love unrolling huge "scrolls" (workshop flipcharts), covered in post-its and crazy cartoons, while suits work in Excel at nearby desks
• How is it possible avoid horrid stares when sat in Childs section of library? I was sat with a spreadsheet etc but still treated like crap
• Is it sick that I really like MS Excel so that I dream of creating the next big analytics report/tool in predictive or forecasting modeling?
• Lets face it we all have one common enemy when it comes to work…Microsoft Excel !
• Today I have made a spreadsheet budget. It’s so beautiful in its over-complication that I want to cry. #thisismytherapy
• Doing excel spreadsheet in the morning is tiring
• Few people understand the supreme joy that comes from looking at a professionally polished and complete excel spreadsheet.
• Reorganizing data inside a giant Excel spreadsheet is the definition of mind-numbing work.
• I never knew how fun excel could be. The highlight of my life is learning new tricks with excel. Sadly chapter 1 has only 45 pages left.
• Never thought I would say this, but I work better in excel organizing thoughts and ideas than on paper.
• Drinkin’ that wine…errr, I mean… productively reviewing that Excel spreadsheet.
• This afternoon’s work resulted in a prettily coloured Excel workbook. Perfect use of my skills there.
• Finally on the way home. That’s a ‘filling in an audit spreadsheet’ day that I’m not getting back :-/ #fb
• 1500 words, a spreadsheet, graph & equations, and still only half way through :'(
• I love food, I don’t love spreadsheets. 33 years I’ve managed without Excel and now it is my nemesis #brainmelt
• Its frosh week, there’s a parade going on outside, its 29 degrees and I’m in a 7.5 hour financial modeling Excel workshop… #fml

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Functions
• Excel Data Validation
• Excel Chart Utilities

______________

It’s the weekend! Enjoy a movie, discover an old Excel Easter egg, or go on a cruise. Don’t spend all your time in the bowels of a spreadsheet.

• so the intern is asking me if she should create the SPREADSHEET in excel or word.. rare u kidding me!!
• gettin so crunk on this excel spreadsheet!!! #productivity
• Real stuff to do today. The best part is making the magic with excel. A monkey could do my job. IF they knew how to troubleshoot formulas.
• This teacher just mumbles stuff to himself while teaching us how to do math in an excel spreadsheet! #kindaweird
• I remember putting in the special Excel code and unlocking the flight simulator Easter egg. http://t.co/STlQOI8
• Feeling dirty. I think I’m starting to enjoy Excel. #shame #guilt BTW, I love McDonald’s.
• Maybe I have an excel spreadsheet of fall season premieres and maybe I DO
• First class on Excel spreadsheet basics. I feel like one of the Neanderthals from 2001: A Space Odyssey after meeting the monolith.
• I am deep on the bowels of a giant excel spreadsheet. woohoo
• I told Dianne at work tonight that I like clean-cut guys who can use Excel. She said, "Soo… you like pretty nerds?" #yesplease #confession
• Hmmm… Spreadsheet is complete. Disney cruises have been priced. Decision time… #fb
• I wish my job was soley to make pie charts in excel.
• Being called a Excel Wizard is probably worst thing iv ever been called, sound like a right geeky nerd
• Praise the Excel Gods. I’ve finished going through the ridiculous spreadsheet I’ve been trying to work on for almost 3 weeks. Now, lunch!
• Today is excel day. Ghademmit!
• Instead of doing any work I’m making a color coded Excel spreadsheet of my schedule #productivity
• i love how i juast randomly decided to make a calender using excel.. and then forgot why (i remember now tho)
• Now I know why I don’t work in an office. I can dig a hole with a giant loader, but I can’t enter a date on excel.

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Functions
• Excel Conditional Formatting 

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Are you frozen in terror at the sight of an Excel workbook, like those Watership Down rabbits, facing a car? If so, try relaxing with some candles and a facial mask, before you tackle those charts.

• They think I’m too stupid to use MS Excel and I don’t mind that they think that way.
• Worst nightmare – Boss explaining simple addition to me on Excel over my shoulder #FML also #HatingMathSince1993
• Every time I look at this spreadsheet I experience something that the rabbits in Watership Down called ‘tharn’. How’s that for a reference.
• Past few nights I have been dreaming in excel spreadsheet format. Hopefully "normal" dreams will return tonight.
• To make my excel spreadsheets bearable i now imagine i am in tron completing them. pivot table be gone! you’re the red guy!
• OMG! OMG! I just created a filter AND a Pivot Table in Excel in LESS THAN ONE HOUR. Unlimited wins.
• Love people panicking over little things, especially when answers are a formula away in excel.
• If I ever end up smashing my laptop, it’ll be because of Excel… DO WHAT I’M TELLING YOU TO DO!!!! Please. Thankyou.
• In case you were wondering, I am a wizard with Excel. (Yes, this means I solved the problem I complained about earlier)
• I’m so utterly bored of pissing about on Excel making formulas at work. I want to get drunk. Or to be entertained. Either or is fine
• is there ANYONE out there who doesnt use MS Excel/Some spreadsheet app a work EVERYDAY?
• I’m in the turn everything into a pivot table kinda mood #thebrains
• So, I was asked to build a complicated spreadsheet, spent the last 3 hours doing it, just been told me he doesn’t need it anymore….. FML
• Screaming "Like a boss!" after fixing Excel formulas at work.
• Fun fact: If i would have been half as good at excel as I am now, grad school would have been sooo much easier…#technology #fml
• I mean I love excel.. But 3 hours of advanced excel? that’s a bit much. at least this guy has an entertaining accent and gave me chocolate.
• I lit candles and cleaned, then pampered myself with a facial mask so I’d feel up to tackling more excel charts and number crunching…

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

______________

If you got a dollar for every spreadsheet that you created, you could hire someone else to teach your dad how to use Excel.

• Its official. The fact that I was the only person excited about what I learned in my microsoft excel class proves that im a nerd.
• Just spent the last 3 hours on an excel spreadsheet. Its a near death experience.
• sorry, pivot = desperate. also, stop letting ppl who only know how to eat lunch and play with excel name things.
• Pro Tip: don’t use Mac computers and you’ll have no problem with Excel.
• Teaching my dad how to work excel #hesgettingthere
• I hate excel projects but I love when I finally figure it out #accomplished
• I really hope the people who signed off on not having the default axis colors in Excel be black got fired #annoying
• If you use MS Excel at work: enter "up up down down left right B A B A start" to get 30 more project accountants. #MadeUpFacts
• I think the biggest problem I have with the ladies is my inability to organically work my Excel skills into the conversation.
• Finally in bed, 4 hours to sleep. That was the longest work day ever! Going to dream of excel..
• Excel crashed! Just lost an hour’s work of Excel number crunching. why didn’t it auto save and why didn’t I save it?? #iwantamacforwork
• Words of wisdom: If you don’t know Excel, just say so. Don’t send me a pivot table that doesn’t make sense!! #getittogether
• What’s better than an embedded pivot table? Not much, I’d say
• I am single-handedly keeping Microsoft Excel in business…if they get a dollar for every spreadsheet I make. Which they don’t. #popandlock
• Would rather be in #catskills with shovel & boots instead of here editing absurdly long Excel spreadsheet. Thinking of all of you.
• Sitting all alone in the hotel lobby, nursing a Corona, pounding an Excel spreadsheet & Bryan Adams 1983 classic "Heaven" comes on. #Irony
• Pretty embarrassing that I can’t even work out how to turn my Excel page landscape 🙁

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Dashboards

______________

Should you settle for Excel’s default colour scheme? What if it’s windy, and you have 70 kids?

• It’s windy. I love this weather. I don’t know how to use Excel. I need to finish this project.
• I will teach myself how to use excel and make a spreadsheet of my finances like a real adult.
• I think I’m in the wrong profession, I fall in love with Excel a little more everyday. #shootmenow
• When working in Excel on pivots or charts, you should NEVER… Ever settle for the default colouring/formatting!#GeekTweet #iAmSoNerdy
• when something goes wrong in Microsoft Excel, I yell “@Spolsky!!!” – he hasn’t worked there in something like 20 years http://t.co/0wMjOV0
• folks, don’t panic. I will fix the spreadsheet by the end of the week when I’ve heard from everyone. Stay calm.
• And What If… there was Microsoft Excel before computers were invented? http://t.co/uTVMe18
• I dreamed last night that you lived with Mary and me and you made us play a crazy drinking game that used an excel spreadsheet
• When we were a 2 person operation, we just used a giant Excel sheet.
• if you just want to do gantt charts, then excel is plenty good enough, I’ve designed skyscrapers around an excel prog #phdchat
• My love for Excel 2010 isn’t so strong after making my monthly reports. Everything has changed – I don’t like change..
• #Excel is my new favorite #architecture / #design tool!
• brought my computer to work again! I want to try to use the MS EXCEL instead of piece of paper
• one sperm donor learned that he had 70 children. He now keeps track of them all on an Excel spreadsheet. http://t.co/pKYXBQW
• after a crappy and emotional day I am trying to set up a budget in Excel, because obviously i have not suffered enough. It’s died 3 times.
• Excel on Mac is really just Microsoft making the point that you need Windows to do whatever you were planning to get done.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Chart Utilities

______________

Did you spend Labour Day cursing at Excel, or locked in your fantasy football war room? I hope you took a little time off, and read a good Excel book at the beach.

• I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful for the undo function on excel in my life
• Spent an hour trying to do a pivot table on Excel Starter 2010. Idiot, they’re not included in the free version.
• One for irony fans: BBC bemoans Government’s lack of open-source software… and releases data in Excel spreadsheet http://me.lt/2S3Yg
• In my fantasy football war room. (aka on my couch making an Excel spreadsheet)
• needs an Excel hero to show me how to convert a formula written as text to a formula! It’s not as simple as it sounds.
• Benefits of coming into work when no one else is in: I can curse out Excel without looking like a complete lunatic. #minorvictory
• There’s something tragically pleasing about getting Excel spreadsheets to work properly. It almost makes me miss my old job!
• someone really needs to create a sticky note to excel transmorgrifier…
• Dear Excel, thank you for crashing while I am DOING MY FREAKING TAXES. No love, me.
• The world is conspiring to make me learn more about Excel, much as I resist!
• Took me 30 mins to work out how to refresh a pivot table.. Lot’s to learn
• come on coed mailroom tell me i have a package!!! i need my excel book. D:
• Wonder how many self-employed take Labor Day off? It’s a good day to practice Excel Pivot Tables in my book!
• Dear Tech friends, please teach me how to use excel! I’ll make you cookies!!
• Listening to my Mac fan get loud while waiting for #excel to process a pivot…bless its heart!
• I love it. Believe it or not, fantasy football in 1996 started my career in Excel and BI 🙂

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions
• Excel Dashboards

______________

What a great idea! Every festival should have Excel on the big screen, and beer!

• There’s a lot of groaning coming from downstairs. Not sure what’s going on exactly, but I think it involves an Excel spreadsheet.
• i never thought i’d love index and match fxns in excel so much…lifesaver! :))
• The extreme coupon show is about as exciting as watching someone work an excel spreadsheet.
• Traffic was much lighter than I expected. I could have crammed another 1/2 hour of excel time in before I left work.
• When talking to my boss I’ve started referring to my Excel spreadsheets as my "art.". #newlevelofgeek #funtomesswithboss
• Yay! The Pivot Table is finally working. Shouldn’t be this counter-intuitive, Microsoft!
• I love when I randomly punch in excel functions and it all works out perfectly #nerdhappiness
• I just lost an hour of work because Excel told me it saved my document but it was only kidding. I seriously want to cry. Now I stay late.
• So with this new job I better learn how to make a pivot table very fast
• Dear boss: We have reached the limit of my excel graph-making skills. Please stop.
• Adele’s album is great background music at work. She sings about lost love while I toil away in Excel.#np #someonelikeyou
• You’ve got all that in a spreadsheet, in Comic Sans, don’t you?
• Someday I will be as excel brilliant as the person who just solved my problem.
• Good to hear it was helpful. Unfortunately, I don’t even know what an Excel VBA is… sorry.
• what? I love Numbers! I love it becuz it’s like a user-friendly version of Excel.
• My relationship status with Microsoft excel is ‘complicated’. I think I have missed it during my vacation.
• I’m at a beer festival in Cumbria, there’s a massive excel spreadsheet on the big screen, it’s rock and or roll

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions 

______________

Did you know that Excel can help you cure a hangover, but can’t solve your chocolate problems?

• The key to kickin a hangover is completing a 20 page Excel spreadsheet in 50 mins. I promise
• What is the point creating a spreadsheet you can load 1 MM rows of data on if the program is simply going to chunk when you work w/ it.
• Found out this morning I’m getting Excel 2010 at work and I got really excited. #toonerdyformyowngood
• I just made a pivot table in Excel. I’m like A Beautiful Mind, except I don’t mop toilets for a living, or whatever. I never saw the movie.
• Writing a userform macro on excel… Brain hurts
• How is the current topic of conversation in my house about excel spreadsheets
• I like how they just put "Computer Programmer" under his name. All he does is work in Microsoft Excel
• So I think I just convinced a coworker to pay me $75 to work on an excel spreadsheet. #winning?
• Who on earth sends out an agenda, directions, and map as an Excel spreadsheet? 🙂
• I love it when excel turns your laptop in to a brick and you need a rebooty. Kind of like a mini vacation in your day.
• there is no problem that cannot be solved by a spreadsheet! (except lack of chocolate #suffering)
• Just taught someone how to create a pivot table over the phone #nerdmuch
• Apparently, there is an end to an excel spreadsheet. Well one question of the universe has been answered!
• Work today involves: video, fun, and Excel spreadsheets. #OneOfTheseThingsIsNotLikeTheOthers
• Dear M$ Excel 2011: your SEARCH function returns a natural number upon finding a string.. and an ERROR if not found?? #WhatsWrongWithZero
• Last night, midnight I wrote some convoluted excel vba, then lost the code..rewrote in half the time with better code, to bed at 1pm
• I swear my mom’s putting a spreadsheet or something together instead of a grocery list. Holyy, she’s got the prices and everythang.
• i had a dream that someone told me i couldn’t color code my excel sheet. more like a NIGHTMARE, am i right? #cooltweetbro

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA
• Excel Functions

______________

How would you define proficiency in Excel? Pivot tables? Macros? Ability to sense the blue screen of death?

• My IT guy just told me he can see the Matrix…he can see the Matrix but can’t take the cell protection off my excel spreadsheet.
• You know it’s time for #VBA when you open an #Excel workbook and see "not enough system resources to display completely" #overhaul
• Have made a thing in excel so I can work out how much holiday I’m owed/have to take. I am having a very wild Friday night in the office.
• Marshes on fire…blame the illuminati. My pivot table won’t update…it’s the illuminati. International call rates…illuminati
• Automating PowerPivot Refresh operation from VBA http://t.co/WdfoZkU #Excel #PowerPivot #VBA
• Business cat in the office & she just discovered my computer monitor, ruh roh. Cats love excel!
• This lady rated herself a 5 (the highest) in excel, then I asked her about special formulas and pivot tables and she had no clue #interviews
• Excel is singlehandedly killing my creativity one spreadsheet at a time.
• My computer doesn’t appreciate the Excel formulas I am using.
• OH: "need emergency air lift out of this spreadsheet jockey den." #FridayAfternoonInDunwoody
• sooo glad making excel charts somehow became part of my job #sarcasm
• Isn’t the find ans replace the best thinhg about excel.. oh wait next to Vlookup.. or the data text to column… and pivot table..
• you know your priorities have changed when you get pumped about a pivot table you’ve created.
• Oooo. Excel doesn’t like pivot-table reports on 222k with of patient records. I sense the blue screen of death is near.
• do you know any spreadsheet technology that can beat #excel ? | i don’t think so. #microsoft
• Spoke to a friend whose job interview Q went as follows: Do u know Macros, Pivot, vlookup on excel? Hmmn, so THAT defines proficiency? 🙂
• Very cool: Tips and Tricks: Mapping Data to a Map of the World in a PowerPivot Workbook: http://t.co/V8ePZ0m

___________

Related Links:

• Excel VBA
• PowerPivot for Excel 2010
• Pivot Table Books

______________

If your fingers have fallen asleep from using Excel (or a calculator), it’s time to clock out!

• Best thing I ever heard :" he’s the only dude that sits in front of an excel sheet with a calculator…" LOVE IT !
• I have a lot of respect for admin assistants who have to do a lot of admin work in Excel. It can be a bear.
• One year ago on Facebook I posted: "I have a love/hate relationship with nested conditional formulas in Excel." #nerd
• #Excel is killing me today. I deleted three columns with no data, links or anything, yet it’s now recalcing a 75Mb spreadsheet now *sigh*
• It is kind of insulting how much automatic formatting programs like #excel and #word do… especially since they almost always get it wrong.
• my pinky is asleep from copying and pasting so much at work #excel #longworkdays
• I need to master Excel. Probably doing way more work than I have to right now.
• Only Keith Urban’s Defying Gravity is preventing nerd riots among those who have to make %MSFT Excel actually work.
• Watched a doc called The Code about numbers hidden in nature. Been staring at Excel so long I now hate numbers and therefore hate nature.
• Budget plans… With in 2 hours I’ve gone from feeling like a complete idiot to a proficient idiot ! #excel
• I learnt some stuff today. Sure, it’s stuff I probably should have known how to do years and years ago, but hey, I know it now. 🙂 #Excel
• My new (to me) work laptop has a mental breakdown every time I open an Excel spreadsheet. That’s ok, I only need Excel about 50 times/day.
• OMG – 14 secs of sheer panic when i hid an excel worksheet by accident. panic over – it’s back. that was awful!
• Nothing beats #PowerPivot for exploring datasets you are not familiar with 🙂
• The more I play around with Excel 2010, the more terrible I think the interface is. Don’t get me started on pivot tables.
• I’m tired of working. *closes Microsoft excel, emails report to boss, grabs the remote & lays down across couch* #clockedout
• who knows how to do bar graphs on excel? because i dont -_- stupid biology. go die.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

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Yes, Excel has its own special language, but no cushions or flashing lights are included. You could write some code for the lights though, if you’re a boss in Excel.

• Oh my heavens…Excel has its own special language usually consisting of UGH and WHAT or How the heck?
• First one done In lab cuz I’m just that boss in Excel
• Oh. "Move or Copy" worksheet now equals Excel crash. That’s a new feature I hadn’t noticed this morning.
• Just told my boss im done for the day. Picking fantasy football over Microsoft excel today. #thuglife
• I may be good with computers, but even I’m not immune to mysteriously losing a bunch of work in Excel.
• Who is the Patron Saint of spreadsheet software?
• That just doesn’t seem fair. Once you have the spreadsheet, there’s no turning back. 😉
• I feel very proud when I use normalization principles for excel tables. I hate de-norm excels. It kills the option to pivot
• On the train next to a woman who works for Edexcel. The first thing she did was open an Excel spreadsheet. Pleasing.
• OK Excel… Lets do this. And by do this I mean, I’ll cry at your feet after you show me who’s boss.
• I’m underwhelmed by my return to work. The carpets aren’t cushioned, there are no flashing lights, and noone is thanking me for trying Excel
• you’re not a proper excel hero until you have mastered vlookup, pivot tables, and pretty colours.
• My major makes me feel stupid. Why do we need to know how to do a regression equation? Excel does that for me, and color codes the graph.
• Time to close all the excel sheets and write some code #IHateMonthEnd
• I love Excel as much as I love zucchini, The View, John Minto, low-carbohydrate beer, jogging, global communism and Michael Moore.
• I have a headache and don’t want to do the excel reports I have to at work! Can I just go back to bed?
• Amazing how hard I work to avoid more work. Here’s the Excel function I created yesterday: =CONCATENATE($A$3,B17," (",Anniversaries!E12,")",
• My boss called me a genius this morning bc showed him how to filter in Excel. #solid.

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Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel VBA

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On behalf of Excel, I thank you for this prestigious award. Now, I’ll get back to my Gantt chart, and will ignore the computer buzzing.

• photoshop is great and all and i’m’a let you finish, but i think excel is the greatest software of all time. OF ALL TIME.
• 45 minutes of hard work and perseverance was all it took for me to accomplish nothing with excel this afternoon.
• My subconscious decided it would be funny to click "No" when asked to save before exiting excel. S’long, an afternoon’s worth of work!
• If I go to Burning Man this year, the one skill I will share with everyone else there will be how to create pivot tables in Excel.
• you know #excel, we’d be better friends if you would tell me what your issue is with the formula that I’ve formatted just like you asked
• I’m following a youtube video on how to construct a Gantt chart in excel. I think I might fall asleep
• We’re getting dumb as a society when Excel 2010 has to change the menu option from "Sort Ascending" to "Sort Smallest To Largest".
• Sweet relief! Finally figured out why this stupid spreadsheet was miscalculating by $1.02. I can finally move on – 12 hours later.
• Every time I open a certain worksheet in excel, my computer starts buzzing, but only when that sheet is on the screen. #WTFMicrosoft
• My Excel skills leave a LOT to be desired. Pitiful.
• I looked around for decent finance apps. Finally settled for a self-made excel sheet.
• Today sucks. First the dentist, now excel spreadsheets. Why god why?
• Excel spreadsheets are so much better than PowerPoint presentations, I like Excel days.
• Have you guys played excel? This game sucks!
• 800 million things to do. Creating a lot of excel tracking sheets.
• I work on excel atleast 5 hours a day..
• My DS101 instructor is too much! Doesn’t wanna see a calculator in his stats class,"all excel baby"! #tight
• Omg my 1:30 class is a joke. Do people really not know how to use Microsoft excel?

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions 

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Did your power go out on the weekend, thanks to the hurricane, and keep you away from Excel? Or did you spend the weekend freezing in a tent, working on data validation?

• OK I’ll bite. What is a pivot table?
• Excel and royalty statements are going to be the death of me over the course of the next week+ #fml
• Learning to love Excel. It’s a grown up, working girl thing…or maybe I’m just late in the game. #budgeting #charts #dataentry #inventory
• If using Excel feels messy and complicated, can you imagine how horrible the source code must be?
• What’s kind of scary abou the video showing the RSA spreadsheet ‘hack’ is that it’s, well, not scary http://t.co/fv3Z8W3
• why does excel work fine on my phone but not on my laptop? Hhhmmm?
• If the hurricane washes out NYC on Sunday, I spent my last days doing busy work in excel.
• Oh I can’t do Excel, I only a data-entry monkey. I have minions who do the hard stuff (hopes bf & boss don’t read this) ;-D
• Just spent the last hour making a new cashing up form for work. Yes I am a geek and yes I find #excel exciting.
• i made an A on my excel presentation!! And Im doing work that’s not due until monday! I deserve a pat on the back 🙂
• Freezing, in a tent and trying to get this damn data validation to work on Excel. All your Saturday nights are jealous of mine.
• What does it say about me that my fave website of the week is http://t.co/dTiA1dv
• 1 of new States sent me offers in Excel 2010. Lol we work for the Govt, I can’t read offers you did on your home computer. Morse code ok tho
• excel is your friend if you’re planning (or fated) to work in any white-collared job. No point resisting it.
• I just heard someone use "pivot-table" as a verb… shocking
• I don’t know what just happened, but I’m pretty sure my entire life was surmised as a venn diagram pitted against a pivot table.
• My boss has given me this chart thing to make because he can’t do it. Turns out he can’t do it because it’s IMPOSSIBLE. Ugh, Excel.

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Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Data Validation

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If VLOOKUP is worth a dinner and movie, then pivot tables should be rewarded with at least a weekend at the spa. Or a small car.

• Just got movie tickets and a gift card for supper out for teaching someone to do vlookups in Excel. Wonder what I’ll get for pivot tables
• I need someone who’s an Excel expert to explain why the workbook I spent six hours on yesterday & saved opened up virtually empty.
• I love when Excel for Mac spends 10 minutes "Updating font menu" when I haven’t installed any new fonts.
• Oh excel. I’m hungover, please don’t let me somehow select infinity cells and lock the pc so i have to exit you and lose my work.
• Intrigued & disturbed by my love for all things Excel. Who’d have thought a publishing degree would make me dream about beautiful formulae?
• I happily clicked ‘close’ without looking at the excel workbook. NOW I HAVE TO RE-DO EVERYYYYYTHING!!! 🙁
• Nerds scoff at Excel but it would take a couple hours of coding to do the stuff KSham is pulling out if this pivot table in seconds.
• One of my class at UTDallas is virtually on MS excel! No paper work, go excel!
• I finally finish this week long project and my boss goes, okay now take that data and do something useful with it in Excel…. -_______-
• The awkward moment when your spreadsheet formula doesn’t work & you realise you spelt count wrong …
• I wrote this custom function in VBA Excel which changes an amount into words — is it weird that I love it? XD
• When you click on the "Insert Table" button in Word, it should just open up an Excel workbook.
• I generally have a love-hate relationship with Excel. Right now though, it’s just hate. #dissertation
• Dear Microsoft. Excel is slowly but effectively ruining my life. Love from Jack xxx

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Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel Functions

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If you’re a digital Viking, can you still use Google to answer your Excel questions?

• I do love it when I can successfully use Excel to bludgeon data until it gives me what I want. I’m like a digital viking.
• Got way too excited after solving an excel problem #sadtimes
• Big boss, "how do I make changes to this spreadsheet?" Me: "First, open it in Excel and not Word…". *sigh*
• I love the Proper function in #excel. That is all.
• I just love Excel crashing while it’s saving an autorecovery file *sigh*
• Suffering from a bad case of spreadsheet double vision
• just as I grab my gym bag,boss comes in for a 15 min meeting & expects 5 reports in 20 min… GREAT. #fail #calculatingZscores #excel
• This guys work struggle must be SERIOUS if he has to work on his spreadsheet on the bus.
• I used to love an Excel macro assigned to hot key Ctrl-Z… Now everytime I want to undo something; things I don’t want to happen… happen
• Why didn’t anyone tell me Excel would hate me today! #FML
• On the spreadsheet before me, someone has genuinely abbreviated ‘analysis report’ to ‘anal report’….
• I don’t work with Excel. Except during #fantasyfootball season. Stupid #6 pick.
• Just discovered some new pivot table functionality i didn’t know about before. Am much too excited about it. #excel #nerdery
• I just spent 20 minutes trying to figure out an issue with excel before googling the problem and finding a solution in 5 seconds.
• It should be noted that an hour of Excel #drama this morning was resolved when I Googled the problem. Truly, I have mad research skillz.
• i’d prefer not to answer questions about excel once i’m already home from work dammit.
• I’m pretending I know how to make pivot tables. Don’t tell excel. #worklife #nerdytweets

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Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA
• Excel Functions 

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Yes, it’s hard to give up Excel 97, but have some ginger beer, or change the colours in the calendar, and you’ll feel better.

• How bad is it that I want it to be the weekend already? I just want a nice little break/vacation. One word; #Excel.
• People who work in cubicles resent microsoft for inventing excel spreadsheets
• LOTS of excel work ahead of me, need a whole lotta coffee.
• for ad-hoc analysis-reporting, powerpivot is coming up as very handy… if it didn’t crash so easily…
• I made the calendar in excel, that was so YOU could update it and not come to me to change the cell fill colors. #scream
• it’s tragic that some of the stuff I need for hellish Excel-fest is on my desk at work and I’ll thus have to do it tomorrow. Real shame.
• Ugh spreadsheet work. Rachmaninov on. Excel open. Let’s do this
• Trying to get a braille copy of an excel workbook. So far no luck.
• Are there pivot tables involved? Because I love me a good pivot table. 😀
• I’m so sad today. I have to give up Office ’97 so that Excel will work with Sharepoint….:(
• I love making excel spreadsheets. #weirdfactsaboutme
• I probably shouldn’t attempt intensive Excel work during a food coma…
• Givig excel training. It’s enjoyable, but i prefer to teach monetary policy and price elasticity of demand over pivot tables and IF nesting.
• my boss just asked him to explain what excel is. long day ahead
• Once again excel formulas saves me from three hours of stupid workload!!
• Looking at the work experience guy’s face, my instruction to "create a pivot table" generated more fear than experiencing a 5.8 earthquake
• Ask me to create a pivot table for work & I groan. Apply that to a ginger beer tasting & it’s worthy of a case study. Results forthcoming.

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Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions
• PowerPivot for Excel 2010

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