You can’t unlock the secrets of Excel unless you work for the Feds, or you paid attention in class. And if you’re over 35, just give up hope – you’ll never understand worksheets. This is my boss when he uses Excel: "What? Why? Stop. Stoooooop! What? WHAT?! AHHHHH? Why?!" […eerie and sudden silence…] WHAT?! The…
Some days, you can get Jell-O eyes from Excel, even if you don’t have a hangover. Just because I can code websites, this does not mean I know why your Microsoft Excel is not working! And now the patter of rain on my office roof disturbing my concentration on a spreadsheet… perhaps I am being…
Don’t wear bright shoes, and avoid bosses who colour the Excel sheets yellow. These things do not make your spreadsheets seem more epic. Two hours work on a massive Excel file wasted because "Select All" turned out to really mean "Select Some." #MSfail I love listening to video game music while at work. It makes…
Some days, it’s tough to deal with Excel and your boss at the same time. Maybe a 460 word explanation would help. Or a quick dance with a robot. Excel isn’t a word-processing software. It’s a spreadsheet software. I think many people don’t know this thing. mike can you help? they hid that thing on…
Please use Excel for good, not evil. Create an Excel bakery, instead of a hitlist. I got an Excel spreadsheet of the ppl who owe me money, in time it will become a hitlist #sorrymom Adding charts to Excel spreadsheets gives the illusion I’m actually accomplishing something meaningful. #lifepostcollege #PGP It’s so dangerous we are…
Yes, we get older, but not smarter, and we deal with our Excel problems any way that we can. But, to be fair, maybe that computer had the Etch-a-Sketch version of Excel. Computer screen freezes on Twitter.. in work.. Boss walking down the corridor.. mild panic.. And just before he arrives.. Open Excel! yey! Wahhhhh,…
Do you reward your perseverance in Excel with Welsh cakes? Apparently they should be served with butter and jam. They probably go nicely with coffee too. That awkward moment when your boss says good morning to you with a big smile on his face and you are too focused on Excel to smile back ._….
A Sorting Hat? Google tells me that’s from the Harry Potter series. Maybe Excel should come with one of those –- that would be grate, errr, great. I should start charging people for giving #Excel tips over the phone so many things I love. 1) you made a SPREADSHEET. 2) the spreadsheet is in the…
When words don’t look right on your Excel spreadsheet, call it a day, and announce that it’s Margarita time! Ugh, my usual problem solving method of making an Excel chart is not making this problem any easier to deal with. It’s that time of the week when normal words no longer look right. I’m staring…
You won’t get your Excel homework done, if you keeping thinking about puppies on skateboards. Trying to get Microsoft Excel to do standard deviation is like trying to teach a puppy to ride a skateboard. Work told me today that they’re sending me to an Excel/macro programming class and I’m excited! I know I’m a…
Maybe that annoyed student won’t think Excel is so easy when they get to the nest IFs portion of the Excel course. Or maybe he hasn’t had to print anything yet. OH; "Your best friend should be the pivot table". Personally, I like my best friends to be human #Excel is a reality distorter. One…
Get out your coloured pencils and make a few charts for the boss – those twelve hours at work today will pass quickly! Quickly becoming the Excel Jedi at work, like it or not. Would rather be a real Jedi. They probably dont dream of spreadsheets. 3 hours with Excel and pivot tables. Data analysis…
Even at 85% zoom, a blank Excel workbook doesn’t look any classier. However, it’s better than a worksheet filled with Transformer info. I love when people go they are advanced at excel. I’ve seen what IT can do with excel, your =sum(A+B) functions don’t make you advance I feel like I’m hazing this co-op: he’s…
Did Excel treat you nicely yesterday? It was Monday, and by the look of these tweets, things didn’t go well for everyone. Maybe the right kind of music helps. I feel much better about the bits of the world I can express in the form of an excel spreadsheet #nerd I find that pies are…
Excel can do almost anything, but you shouldn’t expect it to get marmalade out of the duvet. MySQL is cool and all, but why can’t we just run a website off of a complicated Excel spreadsheet? It’s only six hundred thousand cells with database references, what’s your problem excel? #waiting Just created a 19th tab…
Even if your boss asks you to do his Excel graphs, please don’t use words that would make your mother get out the bar of soap. This morning I spent 4 hrs creating a button on a spreadsheet which inserts an incremental digit into a cell when you click it. I’m ON FIRE Excel and…
Is your Excel world a commuter train, with suits and laptops, or is it magical land, with rainbows and unicorns? About to open Excel and start the dreaded spreadsheet. I loathe spreadsheets. I think in unicorns, rainbows and cotton candy. Eww, numbers. Crushing this excel project today. This is the first time I have used…
Yes, sometimes a day in Excel feels like a week in Wonderland. Or maybe that’s caused by the gin. Of course there’s evil in the world. Where else would excel spreadsheets come from? Who knew Excel could be so much fun. Just finished draft of a 75 page workbook. It’s colourful, and clickable! Tonight, after…
Focus on your work, instead of online shopping, and you might avoid tragedies, like accidentally deleting your Excel file. Work has made me addicted to Excel and online shopping. I’d forgotten how awkward Excel spreadsheet formulas could be. My boss is making me make an Excel spreadsheet of every check he wrote in 2010. Oh…
If your brain isn’t quite ready for Excel, try taking things step-by-step, to avoid a complete cell meltdown! My brain isn’t ready for Excel and Pivot Tables yet! #tooearly The last 2 hours of hate/confusion was resolved by refreshing all data in my pivot table. It doesn’t update with saves. Just seen Excel 2010 for…
Never sign up for an Excel workshop on parade day. That could lead to wine drinking, and crying. Why do I even try and learn on my own anymore? An hour of screwing with an Excel spreadsheet=nothing. 32 seconds on Google=everything’s done wow, having to google how to create a dropdown list in an excel…
It’s the weekend! Enjoy a movie, discover an old Excel Easter egg, or go on a cruise. Don’t spend all your time in the bowels of a spreadsheet. so the intern is asking me if she should create the SPREADSHEET in excel or word.. rare u kidding me!! gettin so crunk on this excel spreadsheet!!!…
Are you frozen in terror at the sight of an Excel workbook, like those Watership Down rabbits, facing a car? If so, try relaxing with some candles and a facial mask, before you tackle those charts. They think I’m too stupid to use MS Excel and I don’t mind that they think that way. Worst…
If you got a dollar for every spreadsheet that you created, you could hire someone else to teach your dad how to use Excel. Its official. The fact that I was the only person excited about what I learned in my microsoft excel class proves that im a nerd. Just spent the last 3 hours…
Should you settle for Excel’s default colour scheme? What if it’s windy, and you have 70 kids? It’s windy. I love this weather. I don’t know how to use Excel. I need to finish this project. I will teach myself how to use excel and make a spreadsheet of my finances like a real adult….
Did you spend Labour Day cursing at Excel, or locked in your fantasy football war room? I hope you took a little time off, and read a good Excel book at the beach. I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful for the undo function on excel in my life Spent an hour trying to…
What a great idea! Every festival should have Excel on the big screen, and beer! There’s a lot of groaning coming from downstairs. Not sure what’s going on exactly, but I think it involves an Excel spreadsheet. i never thought i’d love index and match fxns in excel so much…lifesaver! :)) The extreme coupon show…
Did you know that Excel can help you cure a hangover, but can’t solve your chocolate problems? The key to kickin a hangover is completing a 20 page Excel spreadsheet in 50 mins. I promise What is the point creating a spreadsheet you can load 1 MM rows of data on if the program is…
How would you define proficiency in Excel? Pivot tables? Macros? Ability to sense the blue screen of death? My IT guy just told me he can see the Matrix…he can see the Matrix but can’t take the cell protection off my excel spreadsheet. You know it’s time for #VBA when you open an #Excel workbook…
If your fingers have fallen asleep from using Excel (or a calculator), it’s time to clock out! Best thing I ever heard :" he’s the only dude that sits in front of an excel sheet with a calculator…" LOVE IT ! I have a lot of respect for admin assistants who have to do a…
Yes, Excel has its own special language, but no cushions or flashing lights are included. You could write some code for the lights though, if you’re a boss in Excel. Oh my heavens…Excel has its own special language usually consisting of UGH and WHAT or How the heck? First one done In lab cuz I’m…
On behalf of Excel, I thank you for this prestigious award. Now, I’ll get back to my Gantt chart, and will ignore the computer buzzing. photoshop is great and all and i’m’a let you finish, but i think excel is the greatest software of all time. OF ALL TIME. 45 minutes of hard work and…
Did your power go out on the weekend, thanks to the hurricane, and keep you away from Excel? Or did you spend the weekend freezing in a tent, working on data validation? OK I’ll bite. What is a pivot table? Excel and royalty statements are going to be the death of me over the course…
If VLOOKUP is worth a dinner and movie, then pivot tables should be rewarded with at least a weekend at the spa. Or a small car. Just got movie tickets and a gift card for supper out for teaching someone to do vlookups in Excel. Wonder what I’ll get for pivot tables I need someone…
If you’re a digital Viking, can you still use Google to answer your Excel questions? I do love it when I can successfully use Excel to bludgeon data until it gives me what I want. I’m like a digital viking. Got way too excited after solving an excel problem #sadtimes Big boss, "how do I…
Yes, it’s hard to give up Excel 97, but have some ginger beer, or change the colours in the calendar, and you’ll feel better. How bad is it that I want it to be the weekend already? I just want a nice little break/vacation. One word; #Excel. People who work in cubicles resent microsoft for…