Would your younger self be proud of how much you know about Excel? Or would your younger self think your life is a horror movie? “Son, prepare a spreadsheet with the chores you’ve done and create a pivot table to compare chore time vs homework time.” Business Dad Omg I didn’t pay attention in class…
All the cool kids are hooking up their laptops to their televisions, so they can watch waterfall chart tutorials on YouTube. Getting a convoluted excel formula to actually work is strangely satisfying. For future reference Excel, I am ALWAYS sure I want to keep the workbook in this format. Most of my dates come from…
It’s okay to have the occasional snack at your desk, but even the 8th graders know that you should keep the exploding donut charts away from the onion dip. Doing some number crunching at work. And by number crunching I mean copy and pasting into Excel. When excel insists on freezing, due to the size…
Are you glad to be back at work after the holidays, and using spreadsheets again? Pace yourself though – don’t make too many charts or pivot tables on your first day back. Throwing my name in the ring for employee of the month after using a VLOOKUP & a pivot table within 12 hours of…
When Excel crashes, is it a sign from God, or the work of Satan? Did the cavemen have these problems? Microsoft Excel WILL NOT ruin my holiday break. JUST WORK!!! Oh it’s 2AM already? Excel knows it’s time to begin freezing up on and closing unexpectedly. Work of Satan, I tell you. In #dataviz the…
Happy holidays! If you “Gantt” get what you want for Christmas, a little whiskey might help ease your pain. There’s a Gantt chart video at the end of the page, that might help too. Or, if you want to feel like an INDEX function boss, check out the video below. New thing I learn bout…
Oh no! We don’t want to see the Office paperclip popping up in Excel! Didn’t Clippy retire around the same time as Bill Gates? said it once. will say it again. why does excel act like it is trying to win a nobel prize. i just want to make a bar graph yo VBA with…
Of course you need a pivot table to track your Christmas spending! Every Excel fanboy and English major knows that. The day I discovered that you can add color to your worksheet tabs in Excel was the day no file was safe. COLOR CODE EVERYTHING About to graduate Rutgers and still having trouble making a…
You survived Thanksgiving, with a little help from Excel. Now be careful – there are spreadsheets full of sharks out there! And Contextures is having a Black Friday Sale — get our Excel Tools add-in at 50% off with discount code CTXBF13 — until midnight Eastern time, Friday Nov. 29th. So far today I’ve had…
Dad is at work because people who know how to use Excel are usually employed. And it’s not just the birds, or nerds, who know how to write macros. Ok I’m trying my best to keep a #positiveattitude. But must you color-code every damn cell in Excel??? #MUSTYOU??? ?????????? Anyone that sends me an excel…
While Excel is busy sorting the inventory, you can climb Mount Everest, and make your charts sexier. I wonder if I can reprogram Excel so that when I change the size of a line graph it says ‘The plot thickens.’ These are the kind of people I work with: even written verbal reports without data…
If it’s your first day back at work, and you’ve spent 10 hours making a pie chart, don’t throw your computer out the window. A good night’s sleep might solve the problem. I successfully made a line, bar, and pie graph on Excel this morning. I shouldn’t have to do anymore work today. #success "Microsoft…
Yes, some days it feels like a Greek tragedy when you’re working in Excel. Eat a bucket of popcorn, and try to forget your pain. I am at that place in building a graph in excel where I am just randomly clicking stuff to see if it works. WORK. How do I get the lines…
Halloween is just around the corner, and Excel might be a perfect way to scare those trick-or-treaters! Just don’t let it become the “babe” of your existence. Yes. I just e-mail you a screenshot of my Excel workbook so you’ll have to key in the data just like I did. I spend more than 25%…
When you’re working on your life plan charts in Excel, don’t use your phone calculator to get the totals. Shout-out to my high school biology teacher for showing me how to make Excel charts. I had NO CLUE how much I’d use that skill as an adult. Astonishing, having to explain to someone that excel…
Would the world be a better place if all kids learned how to use Excel and make pivot tables? Maybe we could start with celebration noises instead. Call me old fashion but I’d rather take 30 seconds to draw a chart by hand than take an hour to learn to operate the spaceship that is…
Use your common sense in Excel, or you could go from slinging drinks, to making pivot tables, to oblivion. Housemate doing fun craft while I teach myself to use a Pivot table. One of us is getting a raw deal. I don’t think it’s him. Scumbag Microsoft – "Oh! Finally got your VBA code to…
If your boss loves animated charts, you might need to start tracking your blood pressure in Excel. everyone remembers their first pivot table No, really, Excel. Sometimes we really do want that leading zero. *watches 5 hours of work disappear* *crawls under desk with a bottle* "BAM!! Not only is the chart animated, the colour…
Pivot tables and baby corn? Now that would be an interesting talent for the Miss America pageant! Or is it just a stupid thing? I used the color option in excel on a data sheet once and now anytime there is a colored box my boss assumes it’s my work. All the color! 😀 For…
Working at a religious festival shouldn’t be a problem – you certainly need faith to work with Excel! Well that, and the power of VLOOKUP. Went to work’s corporate Excel training day today. I certainly did not excel. Just learned that if the Excel 2007 formula bar is active, I can’t close the workbook. How…
Would it kill you to solve that Excel problem? Maybe not, but it might leave you in a pickle. "Dancing in your chair in a cubicle is an art, and technically IS helping me fill out this excel sheet" – me to my boss Feel like my laptop and excel have joined #strikeseason and refuse…
Remember to turn off that macro recorder, even if you’re just making pie charts or helping Grandma learn Excel. Otherwise, you’ll end up with thousands of lines of code, and it won’t be poetry. Old is when creating a complex excel worksheet gives you thrills.. I’m old. How many tests am I going to write…
If your first date isn’t going well, try to impress her with a pivot table. If that fails, a pig roast, with an Excel chart, might do the trick. Laying in bed & I just had a brilliant idea for an Excel sheet for work. Huge timesaver. Thought you’d all like to know. Nothing makes…
Some days it feels like you’re fighting bears to get your Excel work done. Other days, you’re just fighting with the printer. How to be an engineer: 1. Learn how to use Excel. 2. Make charts all day and look busy. 3. Use big words so no one knows what you’re doing. Today’s a day…
Do your best to fix those formulas, or you might thwart someone’s plans for world domination. Or worse – all your charts could change to orange and maroon. Boss man asked for high level view of data. One minute later I gave him a Pivot Table. Boss man mind = blown. If I have to…
It might not be boring to watch someone make an Excel chart if it featured Daffy Duck, or a few magic tricks. I hate it at work when I create some really awesome Excel formula or Access VBA code. No one understand why I get stoked. Such a nerd. /sigh Just needed to do a…
If women won’t talk to you, try sending them birthday wishes in Excel code. My boss needed help with Excel. Turns out he just didn’t know how to center justify values in each box. EASY FIX FOR ALL THE BROWNIE POINTS Slowly going mad writing an Excel workbook. Quick, send emergency beer! First lesson for…
No, Excel isn’t laughing at you, unless you’re wearing a Casio-style calculator watch, and yelling “Pudding!” Finally winding down from work. Why so late? Suffice it to say, Excel auto-recover will be 1st against the wall when the revolution comes. My boss asked me at the last minute to do something impossible in Excel. I…
When it gets too hot to work Excel, we’ll have to pull out our big, old calculators. Spent my entire morning formatting the excel charts my coworker made so that they didn’t look like a 4th grader made them. My boss just did jaw dropping things with excel and macros. His skills are wasted as…
If you can’t remember how to scroll in Excel, and are thinking about making charts from embroidery thread, you’re probably not an analyst. Ridiculously geeky right now, but it makes me SO happy to work with other people who know what a Pivot Table is. Without Excel, I’d be creating a pushpin line graph out…
Why? Why? Why? Why? If you have to ask, you haven’t tried to help someone with an Excel problem, over the phone. I now know how to create pivot charts in Excel. I’m not yet sure how to make this benefit my life. My colleagues’ use of Excel spreadsheets is getting beyond a joke. (Just…
Does your morning Excel ritual include air drumming, ninja kicks and coffee? It’s scary how much I am enjoying watching Excel tutorials on YouTube… I need friends. nobody ever enjoys Excel…and if they do then they’re either super geeky or are lying! so my parents are angry at me because i can’t teach my mum…
Do you agree that pivot tables are Microsoft’s best invention? Before you decide, remember that you can use a pivot table to find breweries. ‘It’s just a math problem’ I said. ‘I can do that in Excel’ I said. 69 columns of vlookups & nested if’s later, ready to start debugging! I have Excel sheets…
Important food-related questions of the day: Would you rather smell egg salad, or work on this Excel chart? Should you create a chart on an empty stomach? If you think Word is merciless, never anger Excel. Hell hath no fury like an incorrect Pivot Table. boss commented on how my excel spreadsheet was not captivating….
Are you a magician with Excel, or does it depend on the question? Weird that almost every online publication uses excel graphs. They’re so ugly. When you finally learn how to work on MS Excel, you know you’ve done atleast one thing right in your life. One can never have enough Pivot Tables! #microsoft #excel…
What a coincidence! There is an “Excel at the theatre” tweet in this week’s twitter post, here at the Excel Theatre blog. Have a steaming cup of coffee, and see if you can find that tweet. you know what Excel. You win for right now. I give up trying to fix these charts I have…