If your Excel worksheets are filled with Macho Man Randy Savage information, it might not be a shortcut to your boss’ heart. had a dream in microsoft excel last night in which I walked my boss through 50 tabs of formulas and work. My dreams are too literal Just learned there’s a to-do list workbook…

Please don’t make your Excel charts look like candy – it will hurt your eyes, and you’ll never get to sleep. Excel must be suitable for something. But every spreadsheet I am exposed to twists and warps it so far from whatever that is. #grrr Sometimes at work I’ll mix hot chocolate and coffee in…

There’s a game that lets you kill someone with a spreadsheet? Awesome! Maybe it has exploding pie charts too. I feel like I know JUST enough about pivot tables to make all of my tasks 30 times harder #Excel #productivity #tcot Boss uknowingly let me loose with an Excel spreadsheet. Spent the last 4 hours…

The dog ate your Excel file? You’re never going to improve your geek score that way. And no free pizza for you. Someone emailed an excel workbook about three weeks ago, still haven’t opened it. Spreadsheets give me the fear, man. What use is the "double-click bottom of any MS Excel cell to get to…

If it takes you a week to create a pivot table, you shouldn’t work on it in your car, at a traffic light. I’m in business class making spread sheets. 1. Microsoft Excel hates me. 2. I have no desire to chart my profits from hot dogs and sodas. My boss just gave a week…

Remember, 3-D pie charts are bad, and exploded 3-D pie charts are worse. Maybe the chart wizard could come back to remind us occasionally. People referred to =IF(AND(·,OR(·,·)),·) in Excel as "computer code". An awkward feeling pervaded the room. Watchin’ all these BI107 kids doing their excel homework with a MOUSE! Lol I remember my…

If you’re making your first trip with the new baby, be sure to make a pivot table before you leave home. And curse under your breath, so the baby won’t hear you. Wow. Pivot table chops are just like any chops I guess. Use ’em or lose ’em. There is only one sheet in a…

When you think of columns, do you mean steel buildings or Excel spreadsheets? I could get used to this staying home sick. Less distraction so finally getting some work done. Excel-in-bed Solution for one excel crashing problem is "user moved to another pc without the problem". Oh, a 40MB excel spreadsheet of data… without any…

If you’ve had a bottle of wine, it might be better if the nanny builds the pivot tables. My colleague has been making a humongous Excel spreadsheet for 4 solid days. What’s the best way to tell him he’s been using the wrong data? At some point Microsoft redesigned how Excel makes charts. It was…

Fire everyone who doesn’t know how to build a pivot table, but definitely keep the people who count the characters in their Excel formulas. I just made the most beautiful graph in excel. I almost cried when it popped up. #excel #shouldabeenacompmajor If I was boss I’d fire everyone who didn’t know/didn’t try to learn…

Did you work in Excel all weekend, or did you get out to see a movie, or play in the snow? Snowtubing might be more fun than Youtubing. Go and play in the snow, nahh would rather make various Charts and Graphs in Excel #priorities #workingman i work with models of fabulous figures everyday. MS…

Crying, nightmares and head injuries — things are not going well in spreadsheet world today. The wicked witch might be to blame. Doing charts on excel are half the time impossible an half the time boring. Ughhh i’m so bored and i just deleted some excel formula the boss keyed in so idk what to…

Are you having a rage face kind of day, or are you happily making ugly charts in Excel while wearing your sweatpants? Dear Excel, I don’t like you either. But if you can just let me finish this chart, & power point we can both go back to ignoring each other I can’t work out…

Instead of using Excel, can you run a business with a napkin, a mattress and David Bowie? It’s never good to see "What am I using this section for??" as a cell note in a complex Excel workbook. We were given a template to create a Gantt chart from Excel in #projectdevelopment. It’s like Christmas…

If you don’t have a ukulele, you’ll have to ask your dad to do your work, if you’re trying to avoid Excel. Or just get a bigger monitor, and get to work. I just created my first pivot table in Excel. Please don’t tell the other liberal-arts majors. Doing everything I can to put off…

Yes, life in the cube can be frustrating, especially if Excel keeps crashing, or if your co-workers try to sabotage you. Maybe a pivot table would help. Starting the day by clearing my phone, email inbox and creating an excel spreadsheet for my expenses this year. Ooooh organised 😉 Standing in a field and I…

Happy New Year! May the upcoming year be filled with fresh spreadsheets and no nightmares about Excel. I have an excel spreadsheet waiting for me at work. There’s 1402 things on it I need to check…I’m only at 200 Excel only crashed 24 times while editing the combined RFP spreadsheet. Awesome. Save. Save. Save. Dammit….

I hope you enjoy the holidays, and your stocking is filled with sweet macros and pivot tables. But remember, don’t argue with any talking spreadsheets! Tell some bad Christmas jokes instead! Using a pivot table to sum the ingredients for the different recipes in my Christmas meal spreadsheet. My geek power will rule the world!…

If you do Excel work, and get paid with cups of tea, does that make you a teetotaler? My dad has discovered Excel & thinks it’s so cool! LOL Dad: "this is awesome. I love this. Honey how awesome is this!?" Mom: *not bothered* why is MS Excel the most impossible and frustrating invention that…

If you had an astronuclearthermophysics degree, you could probably fix all the Excel macros in 1.5 hours, without using Google. The last thing I was to be looking at, at 2 in the morning is a stupid excel worksheet. You know you are tired nerds when you start making up dance moves based on Excel…

Be careful while you’re sitting in Grandpa’s chair, and using Excel – you might accidentally kill someone! For the first time ever, I have not been able to Google for a solution to an VBA Excel problem and have had to post a question on a forum Guess who just deleted the ENTIRE excel workbook…

No matter how nerdy you are, you shouldn’t print an Excel file so big that the printer runs out of ink. That could lead to a divorce! So bored at work. Typing fake phone numbers in an Excel document to look busy. #twomorehours #thankganjitsfriday One day I will get Excel 2007 or–dare I say it!–2010,…

Try to keep that pivot table feeling as long as possible. Eventually, some sloppy graph will give you a headache, and that will definitely kill the excitement. Guys, formatting charts to look half decent in Excel is so much easier and more intuitive than I expected said nobody ever. after battling with an excel spreadsheet…

There are lots of chart tweets in today’s collection. Do people build more charts on the weekend, or do they just tweet about them more often? Or maybe the weekend chart builders have more trouble. Disturbed to read: "one thing Excel is good at is creating and formatting charts". Maybe the author was being sarcastic?…

Yes, every day in an Excel workbook is just like a a visit to a Las Vegas casino. Except for the cold fingers. This dude just said "If you keep adding crap to the table you’re gonna make a sick chart eventually." #excel I hate excel. I hate excel so much. I hate charts and…

Before you resort to creating your own software to replace Excel, drink a little beer, and dream about the Sistine Chapel. That might help you avoid a nervous breakdown. In my next life I want to be an accountant. I want to love excel spreadhsheets. I want numbers to excite me. I want budgeting to…

Do the numbers ever end in Excel? Maybe they do, somewhere between the devil and the deep blue sea. Today is titled, "My pivot table isn’t working and other Excel issues." Looking at the data in excel & trying to graph it for this paper makes me feel like someone asked me to drive blindfolded…

What are you thankful for, besides sour cream, pivot tables, pies, and knowing how to make Excel charts? Spent the better part of the afternoon writing a macro in VB for Excel! #BadNews: It didn’t work. #GoodNews: I was able to simply record one My new-found use of Excel Pivot Tables is going to take…

It’s a good day if you manage to make a pie chart, have cheese on toast for lunch, and aren’t killed by an Excel function. My work laptop can’t handle the awesome power of my excel spreadsheets. After turning to Excel and crafting a finely tuned pivot table I have concluded that I need: A….

That’s what Excel should be used for – minced pie assessments. Or should that be minced pi? Would Nate Silver eat that? I can write a whole website in code but I can’t pass an Excel test. College is so stupid sometimes. #veryupset Right enough work. Brain has melted. Off out for dinner. Note: if…

Even if you are an Excel code poet, you should consider adding more cowbell to your workbooks. You could try that on one of your bossless days. Important Advice: Never (even accidentally) rename and replace an Excel #SpreadSheet with a blank one. There’s nothing I love more than exploring an Excel workbook with 7 hidden…

Have you ever envisioned Excel in Tupperware form? What does that mean – little sealed containers, instead of cells? Or maybe it’s some logic that I just don’t understand.  Dear self, making a report on Excel does not require internet connection. So go to work even if the internet’s not working! Slowly but surely learning…

If you are going to ask your little sister to help with your Excel homework, make sure that she’s not carrying any applesauce. There are some engineers who see a problem and think, "I know, I’ll use VB and Excel." Now they have a management job awaiting them. #fb I am a boss at Microsoft…

Is Excel your cup of tea, or does it make you feel confused and angry? Maybe you’re touching the mouse too often. My holiday spreadsheet now has 11 worksheets. It may be getting a little out of control :p When was the last time you opened an Excel spreadsheet? Going down in history as being…

If you’re having trouble with Excel, and you feel like a dummy, maybe it would help if you dressed up like a spreadsheet. Or ask the kids to help you with those charts! Having a Fawlty Towers John Cleese moment because I can’t get a chart to work properly in excel "right I’ll give you…

Sure, you can build cool Excel charts, and do a copy and paste. But can you replace an electrical outlet, and stay sane? No rush in life as great as the cycling of the sheets of an excel spreadsheet when you hit "enable macros" Scratch that, how people can work with excel their whole life…