Excel Theatre Blog

What a coincidence! There is an “Excel at the theatre” tweet in this week’s twitter post, here at the Excel Theatre blog. Have a steaming cup of coffee, and see if you can find that tweet.

• you know what Excel. You win for right now. I give up trying to fix these charts
• I have gone spreadsheet crazy trying to figure out my summer budget, including the possibility of a move. Two Words: #ColorCoded Not Joking!
• Went to see "The Reluctant Fundamentalist" and loved it highly recommended. My only problem was a flashback to 2003 had Excel 07 on a laptop
• Excel, thank you for being the default program for CSV files. You really bridge the gap between lazy developers and stupid salespeople. #fb
• Not a fan of Excel all the time, but whoever created the ability to create and play with a pivot table is a genius. #emchat
• I’ve just created a spreadsheet with sums, counts, averages AND charts. I’m both sickened & elated by this. #Excel
• Up pivoting excel data like a boss! #YouThoughtIDidDishes
• My voice just rose an octave in excitement about making a pivot table/chart in excel out of my pedometer data. #easilyexcited #nerd
• I can pivot table out the wazoo but VLookups escape me. I need vlookup intuition
• That moment excel decides to crash and you lose the last 17minutes of your work…the part where you wrapped everything up w a bow…#fml
• Spending the night with a large hot coffee, a script and an excel spreadsheet #techAnalysis #stagemanagerheaven #theatrelife
• is it okay if I say I think the interface to Excel charts could be improved?
• I will never be able to plot a successful graph on excel #impossible
• dad-can you enter a these forms into an excel program for me…you’ll be able to do it faster. Me-No problem. Dad-here are the 400 forms.
• I seriously feel like a genius right now because I figured out this flow chart thing for micro! And did it in excel!
• Almost made a $1.8M (to the bad) spreadsheet error on the preliminary budget. Pointed at the wrong cell. Found it before the meeting. *whew*
• All fun and games until word and excel decide to not work when I’m trying to make graphs and charts all over the place. #allgoingwrong
• Call me an Excel geek, but you know what never gets old? Clicking on a cell in a pivot table and getting the detail behind it. #alwaysawow

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Would you rather have a spreadsheet full of statistics, or one with film choices?

• Been at work 30 minutes and already locked up my Excel spreadsheet #goingtobealongday
• OMG, IS EXCEL STUPID OR STUBBORN?! stop changing my 1/3 into 1-mar!!!! i’m not typing the date!!!!!!!! :@@
• My bosses love my excel spreadsheet checks: =IF(J15<TODAY(),"error: come on old man, this isn’t Back To The Future","okay")
• Part of me expects my dekstop monitor to crack every time I tell this Excel workbook to re-calculate.
• Good news guys I fixed the code in the excel sheet I screwed up three days ago. Productive week.
• I don’t judge people by skin color or religion or gender…but I do get a little impatient if they can’t create a competent excel spreadsheet…
• My favorite ever excel formula is 33 characters too long to tweet. I love =countifs ! marvelous discovery for me
• Blowers. A brew. A massive excel spreadsheet full of statistics. Absolute bliss.
• "Finance people love Excel. If you give them data in JPEG, they’ll find a way to get it into Excel." #sapphirenow #BI #truestory
• This excel spreadsheet is possessed!
• My boss towards Excel: "what do you mean ‘N/A’?!? I hate you ‘N/A’!!!!!"
• Is there any freaking reason other than perversity why it’s so hard to lock cells in an Excel worksheet?
• Film night with my husband’s work colleagues. Just been emailed a spreadsheet of possible viewing choices. That’s scientists for you!
• My Boss recently completed ‘Excel for Dummies". Now, the rest of us are reading "The Dummy Unleashed."
• I am so bad at using Excel that I need to finish up the pie-chart using Photoshop. Why isn’t the title showing?!
• I just created my first pivot table in Excel. In related news, one of my tattoos just said "eff this noise" and left for someone cool.
• This is honestly a sentence I never thought I’d say… I love pivot tables #excel #whoamI
• I think I’m coming down with Spreadsheet Madness. #officediseases

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You might have to wait 20 minutes or 20 years, or go Back to the Future with Biff, eventually something exciting will happen in Excel.

• This excel spreadsheet can do formulas I don’t understand. Not long until the robots take over.
• "Minor loss of fidelity" reports MS Excel… as long as my spreadsheet works, I don’t care what it gets up to after hours.
• Solved the Excel problem on the train with a little help from Daft Punk. Feel like an absolute champion, nobody here to celebrate with.
• Would like to thank my pivot table for counting the data rather than adding it together for the last 3 months. #excelrelatedrage
• Excel, if you’re going to lock up my whole computer while you run a 20 minute long script, at least have the decency to work first time!
• How about instead of "pivot table field name is not valid" say "rename your columns". This simple fix is nowhere to be found on MS site
• I am the smartest man alive! After using Excel for 20+ years, I finally learned how to scale a large worksheet to fit on one printed page.
• That chill down ur spine when Excel prompts "Wanna save changes to this spreadsheet" and u could swear u didnt make any changes! #banking
• Spending my night with excel…pivoting away. #work
• Hmm…my code just threw a BiffException. I’m picturing 1955 Biff telling my Excel file to make like a tree and get out of here
• I wonder if you can get an electronic picture frame that shows tabs of an excel spreadsheet.
• And as I arrive to row 984 of an Excel spreadsheet, Spotify shifts to "I Can’t Make You Love Me" and the office AC crescendos
• I don’t even know if excel is the best way to do this. It’s what my boss wants – I’m not an excel wizard and Google isn’t helping.
• there is no way an excel spreadsheet will put a smile like that on your face. just sayin.
• Which one of you nerd–I mean good people can help me with an Excel problem? This is time sensitive.
• Dinner (toast w/peanut butter) and a spreadsheet. Yep that’s how I roll #jealous?
• Things you learn at 2 am- you can identify brain regions that aid in the production of anxiety but can’t work excel. #finals
• In other news, Excel class was cancelled today. No hope of me making any complicated pivot tables tonight. I know you’re disappointed.

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If you can crash Excel with 1000 lines of data, what will happen if you use 5465485213214 functions? Maybe Google knows.

• work went well =3= aside for falling prey to the old hide workbook vs hide cell mistake in excel and having a heart attack for a full minute
• Just pulling tons of data today. Feel like I should be eating lunch on a pivot table. #nerdjoke #notfunny #losingmymind #TGIT
• Solved an excel problem that was bothering me forever. Deans leadership award. Bills season tickets. BEST DAY EVER.
• Stupidly tried using Excel Help to find out how to do something to a workbook. Quickly realised should have just gone to Google.
• Just spent close to an hour creating an excel worksheet to calculate different final grade scenarios… instead of studying
• Considering the amount of time I have spent on this Excel workbook, best believe I am locking each and every single sheet individually!
• During a phone interview….she ask "Do you knw what a pivot table is?" I said "Hold on let me look that up online."
• i can’t plot a scatter chart in excel without yelling ‘SCATTERRRRRR’ as i click insert chart and it’s starting to become a problem
• I just want to find duplicates in Excel. You have to perform no less than 5465485213214 functions to do this. Stupid, stupid program.
• Quite proud of the beautiful excel spreadsheet I created to keep track of my office hockey pool #justsayin
• I’ve fallen into the horrific bracket of people who look you straight in the eye and say "Oh, I do love a good Excel spreadsheet."#adminnerd
• Had a strange dream with an exorcist. Also an excel spreadsheet. Both were equally frightening!! #nightmares
• I just spent 1 hour of my life, looking for an error in a formula in Excel. The moron had a space before the decimal point in a number #FML
• I crashed Excel trying to graph over 1000 lines of data. I feel weirdly accomplished.
• why is the #powerpivot ‘stop import’ button positioned just in the same place as the ‘finish’ button? #usability
• I’ll spend 20 minutes formatting an excel document instead of actually doing the work #Procrastination
• After drawing 4 graphs on excel, I THINK I DESERVE A BREAK.
• Hah! I accidentally made a pivot table do exactly what I wanted! I am the luckiest in the office, oh yes I am :buys lottery ticket:

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Nap or spreadsheet? That is the question. Maybe 2500 popup messages, and a bit of rap, will wake you up.

• Yesterday I watched 5 people huddle around a computer for 40 minutes trying to make a graph using Microsoft word because excel was too hard.
• Problem with a big lunch is you feel like taking a nap straight after. Good thing I’ve got something exciting to do like staring at excel..
• One of my favourite things about Excel 2013 is that a new file now contains a logical 1 worksheet by default rather than an arbitrary 3.
• Nap or continue my excel spreadsheet? I’m leaning towards a nap.
• I learned more about excel in the last week week (by building an epic workbook) than I did in the last ten years. Still hate excel, though.
• The Treaty of Versailles is basically all I learnt in high school. Oh and how to make a spreadsheet
• Sometimes, when I hit the Wrap Text tab in Microsoft Excel, I rap the text in my head. Most of the time, it doesnt work, but when it does..
• Life can be explained In a 2×2 cross tab, 4 quadrants, 5 slides and a pivot table.
• Learning pivot tables in MS Excel easily makes me more powerful than Batman
• They’re talking about a coding error in excel as if it’s possible to code in excel.
• Today the Excel sheet seems melancholy, somehow. Listening to the soundtrack to Amélie as I work to fill its millions of empty cells.
• Fun fact: an excel document can hold exactly 1,048,576 rows. Unfun fact: I’ve had to sift through 5 full spreadsheets today #fml
• Finally figured out an excel problem that I have been stuck on for two days. I feel like a genius
• Attempting to write a code in excel and I accidentally made 2500 message boxes pop up at once **** #COBproblems
• i didn´t even know excel spreadsheets could be this horrifying. so much formatting. so many sheets in one workbook.
• Big boss just recommended everyone to find me if they need help with excel or minitab. There goes my peace. -.-
• There’s major problems with everyone I work with when I’m the number one problem solver in the office. I don’t even know how to work excel
• I’m starting a new street crew. Looking for a place to get leather and/or denim jackets in bulk & also a guy who knows how to work Excel.

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Did Mr. Rogers teach you how to make pie charts? Probably not, but he can still make you feel better when things go wrong in Excel. Remember – you are special!

• boss just called my excel project the "Model-T" of spreadsheets. not a compliment.
• I’m rich! I’m rich! I’m rich! Wait. Never mind. Stupid Excel.
• Just used my first Excel Macro. Like a boss. A nerdy boss who spends too much time on doing data entry.
• Nerding out hardcore over the pivot table shenanigans I just pulled. Data!
• I was going to attempt to drink less coffee, but then I had to work on an Excel spreadsheet.
• My dad is seriously making me make an excel spreadsheet with graphs and charts on why I should get an iPhone..
• I’m wearing a Mr. Rogers shirt. It’s the only thing stopping me from crying while doing this stupid excel science project.
• Today I reached a new low, not just staying at wrk ’till 8pm, but being really happy I did an awesome excel chart. What have I become?!
• When your PhD friends are out saving the world and you’re like, "I know what a pivot table is." #excelninja #publicaccounting
• Code something difficult, no one cares. Make an excel spreadsheet look pretty "wow, what amazing work you’ve done!" #MathMajorProblems
• I always knew Excel graphs would be the death of me. always.
• Daughter came home from 2nd grade & showed me how to create a pie chart using Excel. Man, things have changed. I only played Oregon Trail.
• I always thought excel is easy, until boss asks me to create a formula. ??!!
• When will we get The Great British Spreadsheet Bee? One and a half hours to create a pivot table with a graph?
• my boss asks me to go into his office 3x per day so he can show me how he’s finally "figured out" excel …
• I’ve never felt this computer illiterate in my life.. Stupid Excel.
• You know you’re in trouble when you’ve forgotten how to make line graphs on Excel and need to watch tutorials …
• Why hello Excel. Prepare to be 0wned! Not on a pivot table level or anything. More on like a what a marketer can do level. Like sorting.

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Just sit there and look good. If you create a pivot table, it might cause an earthquake. Or a rainbow.

• im going to sit here and cry until all 5 million of these excel graphs fix themselves #productive
• A days worth of excel training and now I can colour code sheets! #rainbows
• My Excel skills are laughably bad. Charts? Graphs? Formulas? Goooood joke
• Working in an office is mostly figuring out how to toggle between Gchat and Microsoft Excel without your boss noticing.
• And for the record, a "pdf spreadsheet" is not a thing.
• Just said circular reference warning in public. Only people who know excel know what I mean #FML
• I am having a pivot table melt down, this is not how i saw my life
• Leslie has started a spreadsheet where she records what we eat each night and what we liked about it.
• Got to share my story as well.. While inserting the pivot table in my report suddenly an earthquake!!! booooom!!!
• I thought I was a boss at Excel. Today I met a god.
• As a teen I use to think excel can process huge volume of data Now I can say Descent volume of data Filter Pivot n Excel cries like a baby
• Have now written the same chunk of code three times ‘cos Excel is throwing a hissy fit when I try to save. (
• My boss: "You don’t need to be messing around in Excel." Brill, I’ll just sit here and look good
• I’ve done nothing but listen to Black Sabbath at work today. This Excel sheet is brought to you by Satan.
• Excel said it can’t execute code while in break mode. I don’t understand – We use robots because they don’t get breaks! Or overtime
• OOH! I get to go to 2 days of Excel training for work! This is the most excited I’ve been about a work related thing since…well, ever.
• the only benefit from my computer class in high school is that my 60+ aged boss thinks what I do is perfect. #excel
• Me and every interaction with excel: "Oops. Maybe if I-nope. If I click this here-nope. I don’t know how graphs work. Yes I got it! Nope"

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Macros will not explode your Excel workbooks (usually!), and they are more impressive than Lucky Charms shapes.

• Dang. Just received an #Excel workbook that puts all mine to shame. #funwithdata #nerdalicious
• The highlight of my day was finding an Excel shortcut that saved me hours of work. Nerdy? I don’t care.
• Nothing screams wild like a holiday itinerary via the art of an excel spreadsheet. Yup, I just went there…
• There are 4 files under my "Open Recent" tab in Excel: 2 bachelor party guest lists, the bball scholarship chart andd the Big33 OH roster.
• Breaking my head with Pivot table and macros. I managed a B- or C+ the excel modelling paper copying from the next fella
• Ah, hello default Excel chart palette in a paper I’m reviewing. Is there a macro to change data points to Lucky Charms shapes?
• Transferring an excel data chart into word w/o grid lines. ‘When in doubt, white it out’.
• Hey guys did you know that staring at excel spreadsheets for hours takes away your ability to count and do simple math? #FML
• On an Excel course. Always been taught to be scared of macros and using them would blow up your workbook. But they aren’t!
• My boss is the type to have 4 different fonts, sizes, alignment, etc on an excel chart for no reason. It drives me insane.
• Why can’t excel just do what I want it to? It’s like I’m the mom and it’s my stupid, good for nothing, hormonal, teenage daughter.
• A week later, Pivot table still not done despite reading Excel for dummies religiously. On the plus side, I love working nights.
• Microsoft Excel: where your dreams are crushed into easy-to-organize cells, charts, graphs, etc.
• When I close my eyes to sleep I have an excel spreadsheet burned into my vision… thats normal right?
• There should be an international holiday dedicated to the Excel Pivot Table
• “An Excel spreadsheet is probably the best way to store this information.” – OLD people
• 13 years breaking complex applications; never impressed my boss. Today I made a pivot table in Excel and he thinks I’m a goddamned genius.
• Why is my Dad telling me I should learn how to do graphs on excel in my spare time?? #thanksbutnothanks ****

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You can learn all kinds of useful Excel tricks on YouTube, but I haven’t seen any cake chart tutorials there.

• When making excel charts becomes exciting its time to go outside
• The NCAA’s online stream ‘boss button’ is greatly improved over the previous blank Excel spreadsheet.
• saying that i know pivot table during the interview was a….bad decision
• I forgot how to make pie charts in Excel. Don’t tell LinkedIn.
• Anyone else get the warm and fuzzies when they get to color-code their Excel sheets? No? You sure? *sigh* Fine. #geekygoodness
• I had a dream last night that I killed a man and then my boss found out but then fixed it by making an economic model in excel.
• Just think, in a few years these plucky young players from Harvard will be right sizing your company via Pivot Table. Go Crimson!
• Boss says he’s going to restrict my computer access to Excel until I complete an expense form…
• There are few things more relaxing than making a pivot table and reflecting on how much damn time you saved summing things by week.
• Anybody who thinks fantasy baseball isn’t cool, must have missed me entering data into an Excel spreadsheet for three hours. #cooldude
• Someone found my blog by googling "How to make cake charts in Excel?" #piecharthumor
• Boss : Your excel sheets are so colorful! :OMe : * #ilovecolors *Colorful #OfficeDiaries
• Been staring at stock charts and excel files for the past 15 hours it’s about time to crack a 6 pack, listen to some lil Wayne n sleep
• You don’t know how to create radar graphs in Excel? Please explain how that’s my problem.
• My boss for real thinks I’m some kind of genius in Excel. Thanks, YouTube.
• It takes Alice 45 minutes to code 32 trials into Excel. With 512 to go, how long before she loses her mind? I don’t know. My name is Fred.
• Pivot Tables from multiple consolidation ranges are probably about the least useful feature of MS Excel.
• "They look sexy as hell but they are worthless!" Yup, my professer just said that about charts on Excel.

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Maybe you should watch March Madness, instead of changing the formats in that Excel file. That might prevent people from getting steamed.

• No dad I’m not gonna do the spreadsheet now, I’ll do it later.
• When you have to tell yourself to be smarter than the spreadsheet you created it is time for more coffee
• Looking forward to working through a massive risk prediction spreadsheet today. Just how more exciting can it get?
• Is that spreadsheet you are working on gonna create or destroy jobs?
• My morning so far consists of pretty snow and warming latte. Could just do without the spreadsheet bit!
• I’m stuck in an Excel Lunch and Learn at work – SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!
• Cheers to the idiots that thought changing the format of their excel sheets was a good idea. Now my formulas don’t work. Waaa!
• literally every time I open a new Excel spreadsheet I type "WHERE YOU AT? HOLLA WHEN YOU GET THIS" in A1
• *creates an intricate excel spreadsheet w highly specific procedural formulae for a video game* *is still unable to create a monthly budget*
• Today is the last day of my life spent not owning a steamer and I’m filling in an Excel spreadsheet with things I am planning on steaming.
• Every cell in a spreadsheet is a window into relationship. Excel is THE magic grid. #research #segmentation #context
• When your two wide-screen monitors still aren’t wide enough to fit your whole Excel spreadsheet, #eatchocolates
• sent boyf a list of adventures and restaurants to try. he is going to love receiving something excel related from me. #dorkcouple
• I don’t know about you but right now I just want to work on an Excel spreadsheet
• Is having an excel spreadsheet for your holiday a little sad?! Or just being organised? #saddo
• At a coffee shop eavesdropping, someone is explaining how they have no idea how to create a spreadsheet in excel. Facepalm.
• Spending my night with the ever so lovely Excel Spreadsheet
• I wish I was watching March Madness, instead I’m putting together a pivot table in excel.

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