Excel Theatre Blog – Page 31 – Videos, Humour & more

Excel Twitters 20100316

Some important lessons in today’s Excel tweets – save your work frequently, don’t delete your tax files before you submit them, and Excel is more important than showering.

everyone else here @ starbucks is working on excel spreadsheets. i’m writing erotika. i think im out of place.
Just got sent an Excel spreadsheet with the instructions "Can you please password protect this document and send it back to me?". Um. Okay.
I am *always* too muddled to open an excel spreadsheet
Made it to Uni today. Got a day of SPSS – possibly the hardest software ever made, it’s like Microsoft Excel with Autism.
Prefers when excel crashes *before* putting an hour worth of work into it
Expanding to 96 teams (however it’s done) will DESTROY my perfectly-fashioned March Madness Excel spreadsheet! I vote NO!
I don’t like Excel, it’s too hard, why stupid formulas & stuff i don’t get it! maybe i should have got the excel for dummies book
I need someone to teach me how to use excel properly
I’m doing credit card rewards/cash back analysis in MS Excel.. fun fun fun at 6 a.m. !
Another good one – "I’m having trouble opening an Excel spreadsheet", "do you have Excel?", "…………….no"
This is stupid,why are we learning how to work Excel, this middle school
Damn it, Excel. Maybe I WANT my formula to create a circular reference. JUST DO IT.
My latest blog post on integrating #cucumber with Excel can be found here: http://bit.ly/bQtGJV
omg, i just accidentally closed my excel file and then saved itmonths of work lost. why cant I undo a save.. Im dead
Deleted my taxes Excel workbook for 2009 before sending it out. Oops. Let’s see if one of these 3 undelete apps will find it – in FileVault.
getting acquainted with Excel… must complete this assignment tonight to get excel back out of my life.
Change view to "Normal" not "Page View" in options. Exit excel and relaunch. Problem with Page View uber slowness.
OH. GO ME. Just finished Excel Homework for Stats… on to the book work. I’ll shower tomorrow.
Excel course took a nose-dive before lunch – do not tackle IFs ORs and ANDs on an empty stomach.
it’s only truely hardcore if you use a pivot table…

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That course with chocolate, creative writing and Excel sounds great! Oh, never mind, it’s three separate courses. Maybe I’ll try to find a job that’s serves free alcohol instead, and turn my Excel sheets into Spanish or Chinese.

I am awesome. I AM THE MASTER OF EXCEL! Epic spreadsheet of epic #sxsw bands we want to see. Over 100 shows all nicely organized. *EXCITED*
Laugh if you will about my Excel models for everything. Super handy for party planning. True test will be FC vs actual of course #BigFourOH
I had to go *buy a book* on Excel charts to figure out how to do things I’d known how to do for more than a decade.
microsoft excel does some cool stuff, but i have had enough fun today
found some cool Excel Add-in tools for exporting Charts as graphics at http://bit.ly/9UirUS and http://bit.ly/cGiD4a
I tried to create an Excel form. It was a disaster. I hate math. Free lunch if you can help.
Microsoft confirmed today that a security update for its Excel spreadsheet had turned English text … into Chinese http://ping.fm/bQs2W
46 inches of excel fury http://twitpic.com/18hw7q
I used to work in call centre in IT sales & we used to get some great ones. "What’s the upgrade path from Excel to Win98?"
maybe an Excel bug is why Westin is chopping ABC News jobs on an economic upswing @chucktodd
Building excel sheets is like pleasing a woman, easy to start impossible to finish
I can give you some ten year olds that know how to use excel!
one EXCEL, to rule them all! :)))
Is there an on-line tutorial or something that can help me operate Microsoft Excel?
The truth, via Excel: http://tinyurl.com/yfscjbt
Bustin’ out mah mad Excel skillz to make graph of opium imports in 19th C. China. Oh, yeah. That’s how I roll.
Arlington Community Ed: Chocolate tasting, creative writing & Excel: Courses will include in-class writing .. http://bit.ly/94HuAK
So my mom calls me to go over an excel thing I’m doing for her and then tells me to hold on while she listens to the radio. ?????????
If Excel Were a Car… The help line would be staffed by people who know less about your car than you do! #ohsotrue
I hate when they serve free alchohol at the job. I can never resist my Excel sheets turn into Spanish. Took me 30 min to tweet this, haha!

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Excel Twitters 20100313

What makes you crazy in Excel? Formulas that show different results for “identical” data? Bubble charts? Excel 2007? Pie charts? Shades of puce? So many possibilities, so little time.

Just got to work…I will now proceed to put x’s in various Excel spreadsheet cells for the next three hours. Get to leave at 12 though 🙂
I swear Excel is trying to kill me. Identical data, one spreadsheet counts 46, the other counts 50. Aaaargh! I’m melting!
Struggling with a IF THEN ELSE in Excel … How the brain can fade when not used for a while !!!
At least she has 2 names. If u write Madonna in excel sheet- do u put it in 1st or last name column..either way messes w/ the SORT
I’m thinking about making the jump to Excel 2007 from 2003 at work. Finally starting to be more painful to use 2003 due to others using 2007
Learned something new: 1st step in creating a correct chart in excel: put the data on the right axes. This would save so much time. T_T
Whoa. Excel genius at work just blew my mind making a graph using bubbles. Everything looks like the solar system. Magic.
Colleague points to his screen & shows me that the cursor in Excel moving along the screen. I point to the folder resting on his space bar.
Uh-oh – I conquered Mount Excel & built the amazing spreadsheet, but it’s so awesome it can’t get enough juice to run. That sucks!
Could be worse, they could be deciding which shade of puce means really nearly really done in an excel spreadsheet
my manager dont even knw how to work on excel…dat is basic ….gawwd
thanks to MS excel now i wait for the words to auto complete in… notepad!! #sigh
Just managed to "break excel"… from the mouth of our spreadsheet guru! I’m quite proud of that! Jeremy 1, Microsoft 0!
Guy nearby calling help desk about how excel changed his column headings from letters to numbers is God’s way of telling me to go home.
I DID IT! Finally my life has meaning. I’ve created the most beatiful and functional Excel Spreadsheet EVER!!! I can rest in peace.
These are all in Excel 2003 format, because Excel 2007 is a hideous monstrosity that should have been strangled at birth.
nerd alert: i just made an excel spreadsheet of movies i’ve seen so far this year, complete with ratings.
Boss called today, ecstatic, proclaiming I had ‘a job for life’ after doing an ok job at a simple excel spreadsheet. Why bother with uni?
Excel just recovered a spreadsheet last saved the 1st of January 1601 at 00:00:01. That’s efficiency!
If you stare too long into the Excel, the Excel will stare back into you. Insanity is but a pie chart away.

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Excel Twitters 20100312

Be careful Kelly Rose! Just because you meet guys in the library, doesn’t mean they should be trusted, especially if they’re buying spreadsheets. It might be safer to stay home and work on Excel knitting charts.
One of this week’s tweets is about rounding. This video shows how to fix time rounding problems in a pivot table.

Just made a chart in Excel for the 1st time since who knows when, line graph, resisted going 3D…. I don’t think it’s telling me much
FYI… Claiming work can be done quicker in excel than in Silverlight in no way makes me want to work harder or faster to complete a task.
Ummm love that some 40 year old guy just walked up to kelly rose & I in the lib & paid us $60 to make an excel spreadsheet for him.
wow… I need to be more proficient with excel… lol making a poker spreadsheet for places and points, and i’m gettin my butt kicked…
Not sure I can face looking at excel spreadsheets all day today. 4274 rows is just tooo big to work with.
I want to offer a giant THANK YOU to all the Excel nerds who post things online. Trolling sites by MVPs just helped me solve a big problem.
I hate excel like Lindsey Lohan hates eTrade right now.
Back to Excel and Powerpoint… maybe I should have stayed at work to get this done. Productivity levels at home are considerably lower.
Thank you all for the sympathy. 🙂 14 straight hrs of financial databases and excel spreadsheets is pretty damn painful. Tmw will be better.
blindly offered to help with a spreadsheet. its 46,608 rows of data that looks like it was barfed into an excel file. [sigh]
finished with excel for the day and my brain is still in one piece
Managed to waste an hour fiddling around with the functions on Excel instead of doing work. Oh how I love to procrastinate
sick of number rounding problems. java and ms excel are enemies. i’m the negotiator.
Just used an excel spreadsheet to calculate wether or not I can afford everything I want on Topshop.com. It came to 1285.00. So that’s a no.
Good hair day, sunshine abounds, listening to music while I try to dominate this excel speadsheet… 3 out of 4 is pretty great!
Redoing knitting charts in excel. More fun than it sounds. Or maybe I’m just THAT bored 😉
I’ve pretty much been useless at work tonight. Can’t seem to fix anyones problems. Then again they all seem to be centered around Excel.
My ME coworker is baffled by MS Excel. Hes been instructed to use a quote mark for direct entry; he’s unclear: “is that like an apostrophe?”
Just doubled my mouse pointer speed. Excel isn’t gonna know what’s hit it.
Off the station – Another day another Dollar. On that exchange rate, an Excel spreadsheet is worth about 5 cents!

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Excel Twitters 20100311

You knew it would happen – Excel 2007 has a million rows, and now people want 2 million. Meanwhile, the 6th graders are playing Excel battleship, and learning about those bad variable names. If you’d like to play too, my friend Andrew Engwirda has a free version of Excel Battleship that you can download.

i made an excel spreadsheet for all the countries i have coins from. i’m very organized and i like it.
lets all be sophisticated adults and spend the evening at starbucks with our laptops out and type numbers into microsoft excel
Can’t look at inappropriate websites at work. That’s when I’m thankful that my biggest turn-on is Excel spreadsheets in Arial 10pt. font.
#learnsomethingeveryday You can do GANTT charts with Excel. Impressed. No idea HOW but I hear it can be done.
poor use of excel really irritates me. what’s up with skipping rows? do you even know why you’re using a spreadsheet? ergh!
Kids ask me all the time. How can I make it in this biz? My answer? Learn how to use Excel… Seriously.
I’ve got an Excel spreadsheet THIS BIG, and it’s got "pain in my ass" written all over it.
Staring at a pile of paperwork, while an Excel spreadsheet tries to sneak up on me. Good morning!
http://twitpic.com/17q7az – Apparently my pivot table/chart shenanigans was just too much for poor old Excel
Spreadsheet activities with 6th grade today – Excel Battleship to review cell naming, cell formatting & using multiple sheets.
So I’ll be spending the rest of the day and likely part of tomorrow running queries and exporting results to Excel. Hooray for audiobooks!
Access, why can’t you be more like your brother Excel?!
excel graph render yet? Have frequently gotten coffee myself so my pivot had time alone to think…
My needs have apparently surpassed what a spreadsheet is capable of! Never! I will make excel do even this! *gets wizard hat*
protip: dont put your save button next to your undo button in excel
Dear Microsoft: Now I need TWO millions lines per worksheet. When is Excel 2011 hitting the market? #pleaseandthankyou
Thanks to magical Excel training, I can now make the FANCIEST of charts and/or graphs. Delicious.
turn off auto-save. A lot of times when i work in big spreadsheets excel gets hosed by the auto-save constantly running
Important rule for work: never be more than 1 alt-tab from an excel spreadsheet
An excel sheet is nothing but a list of equations, with bad variable names. Never thought of it that way.

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Excel Twitters 20100310

Those computer games disguised as Excel sound fun, but it’s hard enough to get your work done, without those kinds of distraction. And now I have to go and find a jar that I can put on my desk, for people to drop in their tips.

Things i dont enjoy- meetings, excel sheets and meetings with excel sheets!
Thought I was gonna get some work done tonight so I didn’t have to do it tomorrow. Turns out I sent myself the wrong excel sheets. #heated
I’m almost done with my undergrad career, and I still can’t make a chart in excel correctly.
this dude leading my Excel training class is so animated.. I feel like I’m in a game show.
I could use a day without Excel. Kthx.
MS Word may suck but Excel still rules. Just got reintroduced to the concept of pivot tables. Awesome tool that I need to pull out more.
I just *love* meetings where people just read through an Excel spreadsheet (in Comic Sans). Thanks for killing my brain cell by cell.
What a day! I "love" working in #excel and figuring out formulas. I doubt Jack Bauer had to deal with these kinds of headaches. #24
Boss gave me an excel task worth 4 hours of work. Figured out a nifty shortcut that got me done in 10 mins LOL
The dude sitting next to me in the lab has a super easy excel problem i wanna solve but i tried to talk to him earlier and he didnt like it
There is a goal in my group at work to stump me in Microsoft word or excel. So far, no luck.
It’s kind of funny when Excel crashes every time I try to save a workbook. You know, save frequently, in case it crashes. Yeah. Funny.
Heh! Computer games disguised as Excel and Word prove a hit with office workers – Telegraph http://bit.ly/aCsWS3
I’m so happy to have excel back on my pc. I {heart} text to columns functionality the most… #itsthelittlethings
you could probably run the world on MS Excel if you knew how to. i’ve seen spreadsheets that could blow your mind!
Sometimes, I am so helpful at work… I think I should put a tip jar on my desk. "Help with Excel, recommended $5 tip"
Moment of truth: will project supervisor think my spreadsheet is pretty? Or will it assault her eyeballs like an Excel paintball war?
God runs the Universe using a big Excel spreadsheet full of busted Macros and VBA written by the guy who was doing the job before him.
just spent an hour coming up with a complex excel eq’n, then found the same results after a minute of dicking around with pivot tables
But Numbers is a long way behind even old versions of Excel. No Pivot tables!!! The end of civilisation in my opinion!

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Excel Twitters 20100309

Didn’t we all have youthful dreams of spending our days in Excel? Or maybe that’s a result of the Norwegian work ethic (which I’d never heard of before). But if you’re struggling to create a clustered stacked chart, like today’s tweeter, there’s a link at the end of this post, that should help you.

Got a new computer at work with excel 2007. 4 the first time in my life I am computer illiterate. Not good!
Is it wrong that I think the iPad does nothing that I want it to? like, oh….word processing? Excel?
I am becoming an Excel NINJA. I can now do things with charts you can only dream of.
Considering cloning myself. After programming in Excel it can’t be that hard right?
Poli Sci midterm grades are apparently up, but hosted in an Excel spreadsheet. Guess which program I deleted months ago?
Durrrrr Excel, I didn’t want you to do exactly what I told you, I wanted you to solve my problem. Can’t you read between the lines?
Feeling fulfilled. Ever since I was a little girl I remember saying that when I grew up all I wanted was to work in Excel M-F 8-5.
So did I (my boss thinks I’m crazy for clapping at my "excel spreadsheet")
I feel like I have been sucked in, swallowed and spat out by an excel spreadsheet this afternoon. Nice.
Power just went out at work. I am so lucky I have a laptop & can continue working on this excel sheet, not the Internet. /sarcasm
I just discovered pivot tables in Excel. It feels like I’ve been living under a rock.
Gr, I hate Microsoft Excel. I couldn’t figure out how to make a bar graph. I’m going to paint.
“Document not saved.” How about a little more information, Excel? >:(
So it turns out that once your data grows to over 60mb in an excel 2007 book, everything takes a million years even with calc off #patience
needs 2 get off twitter & fb & get back 2 that excel spreadsheet of tax info. get that done & then have fun. norwegian work ethic!
My boss knew 2 brothers called Excel & Enter. Do they have sisters called Alt & Shift, and parents called Caps Lock & Delete?
Dear Apple: why do none of the function keys work in Excel for Macs? When I hit F2, I do not want a brighter screen.
Granted this is the same class where the professor(yes, he has a PhD) said that Excel and Access were both databases.
Maybe not a stupid question, but this one makes me laugh whenever my students ask it: "Do companies really use Excel?"
Ha! Excel 2007 I’ve found something you can’t do, a clustered stacked chart. Currently trying to figure this out by my head isn’t helping
I wish I could respond the same way Excel responds to me every time someone disturbs me at work…#(Not Responding)

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Excel Twitters 20100308

These Excel tweets from the weekend show that even the hard working Excel users take a bit of time for fun and games occasionally. And I don’t know who the mystery man was, who suggested XY Chart Labeler, but it’s a free utility that every Excel user should download and install.

Finally finished with the dog baths & nail clippings. Will spring clean a bit, then will work on that "Excel for Dummies" book.
I spent the majority of my day tryig to figure out a problem in excel. This guy overhears the issue and goes: XY labeler. How did he know?
Then turn on 2nd game. Or open up Excel and get writing some code for a true cost analysis. Make it concrete. Ladies go for that.
cubeville btw, is not nearly as cute as farmville. There are no level 12 warrior pigs in cubeville. Just Excel spreadsheets & sales revenue.
Waking up early to get some work done and having Excel crash 3 times. I think it wanted me to sleep in.
I have successfully pruned the guestlist down from 50-odd to 29. I love Excel’s ‘delete row’ command!
I have an Excel spreadsheet to chronicle every concert I’ve been to. I’m pretty certain that puts me in the running for biggest dork ever.
Why yes, Excel, I’d love it if you bogged down my only burst of productivity on weeks by CRASHING EVERY FIVE MINUTES. How did you know?
Usually I’m a fan of Apple products, but Numbers is just so lacking compared to Excel, it’s unbelievable.
Is it me or does excel rarely assume the correct function when i drop data into a pivot table?
Consolidating all of my MBA career-reflection excercises into one spreadsheet. Made some interesting connections. Gotta love Excel.
MS Excel rounds it to 162.8 so it’s probably 162.9. Mind you, when you are married the wife is always right so you decide.
*rolls a 9 sided dice* (also known as generating a random number in excel)
I’m comparing pre-pay cards. Seems you pay a one-off fee, or regular fees, or per purchase, or or or or… may have to make a pivot table!
Built an excel spreadsheet for computing the full costs of a nanny share (and compare them). I’m a geek, but now she loves me for that sheet
Gotta get out of bed to go see Alice in Wonderland then somehow complete my Excel homework by tonight.
I got my Excel certification back in high school, even. I get to color code, and make graphs, and eee, yes. I love it.
Looking for someone who is an excel expert who can write a simple (or maybe complicated?) macro
Your copy of Excel should not say "non-commercial use" when presenting at a biz networking event.
Okay, so I’ve got an essay, a presentation, and an excel project to work on, but by God this Halo isn’t going to play itself.

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Excel Twitters 20100306

Apparently one tweeter didn’t like the pivot table presentation at Ignite Minneapolis. I’d never heard of that event before, but if they include pivot tables, it must be good! Now I have to go and try to straighten my fingers.

I have all this fancy software, and I always end up using Excel for everything.
our dependence on excel and calculators is astonising….an outdated thing called brain doesnt work at all now
Ok my computer teach turned out pretty cool. She might not know how to work excel but she’s giving me credit for my wrong asnwers on my test
Aside from the pivot table guy, I’ve had a smile on my face the entire time. #ignitempls
nice cruise around lake minnetonka to escape work and the almighty excel-spreadsheet-land i’ve been living in all day
as an english major, i never expected to use excel this much. i could use a course in it.
I haz mad excel skills. By which I mean I can make simple formulae. Actually have mediocre excel skills. (Nobody tell my boss)
today i have tweeted, facebooked, phones, texted and skyped, oh and Imd. TODAY I am all about communication (OR avoiding excel spreadsheet)!
My goal is to LOOK busy! *opens up excel spreadsheet with lots of different colors*
in case you were wondering. the bathroom is not an appropriate place to be talking about your excel spreadsheet.
Spring break option #1: 120-hour, caffeine fueled, currency trading bender w/ 4 monitors, 3 computers and countless charts and excel windows
Hmmm I think I’ve beaten Excel into submission, though not sure I’ve retained data accuracy… time for lunch!
using somebody’s excle is REALLY pain. especially when it is customer’s excel and they do not allow us to customise..and macro!
The Lions gave Burleson $11M. According to this sophisticated Excel spreadsheet, that’s $3.6M per TD he scored. Bargain!
sometimes it’s cathartic to empty your brain into excel
Oh Microsoft…that little "x" that you decided to add to your new Excel spreadsheet file type caused me hours of unneeded frustration.
Sometimes I imagine what it would be like if Excel did all the good stuff it does, but also didn’t piss me off all the time
Did I really just get in a fight over an excel sheet? God I’m a dork. Off to shove myself into a locker.
been working on an excel spreadsheet literally for 7 hours. i can no longer straighten my fingers.

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Excel Twitters 20100305

Yes, I’ve absent-mindedly tried to copy and paste from Excel to a piece and paper, just like today’s Excel tweeter. It didn’t work for me either.

i’m going to pass out if i dont start some excel work…
Excel is a curiously terrible program. Simple things like putting a title on a chart’s legend require a degree in h4xx0rzing to accomplish.
Autoshapes is the most underrated feature of MS Word and Excel
Oh, gross, I just accidentally opened Excel.
Silly me: Just tried to copy sth from Excel to a handwritten note w/cmd+c and cmd+v. It did not work!
Am I the only one that uses Excel to chart hypothetical revenue IF such-and-such happens or IF you make such-and-such sales per month?
I fell asleep at 4, meant to get up at 5, just woke up at 9 and haven’t even started my excel sheet. do the math
really? You’re in a deep enough science class to require excel? Cool!
Getting the hang of Excel. Not too good w/using SIN, COS or TAN functions tho. But maybe that’s b/c I was never good w/those to begin with.
i hate when people make/keep garbage excel sheets. a little formatting and word wrap can do wonders for presentation and understandability.
When you stare into an Excel spreadsheet long enough you start to see little colonies of people growing in each cell. #fb
Teaching Excel is tiring.
Working out the VBA to create multiple charts. You’d think this is the kind of capability Excel would have out of the box.
same thing I reckon. We’ve only called them charts since excel came along. There are no graphs in excel.
You know the job’s urgent when… the Art Director is using Excel to chart up stuff.
Worked out how to calculate the straightline distance between two points on the earth’s surface using Excel. For 24,500 separate points!
Idly wondering how many person-hours have been lost over the years to dealing with Excel’s stripping of leading ‘0’s from zipcodes
Figured out how to make a budget spreadsheet in Excel. Now if only I had an income. *looks at GMail box for job replies*
You know you use excel too much when you press the = button before you put the numbers in on a calculator

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Excel Twitters 20100304

Bad day in Excel twitters, with plenty of errors, swearing and drinking. Or maybe that’s just an average day. Anyway, how’s your day going?

It’s worrying how satisfying I am finding getting a macro to work in excel :s. Click, flashy screen, success, woo! #geek #tragic
Spent the last 20 minutes showing a guy I work with how to change the font size in Excel He spent the whole morning trying to figure it out
Excel on this sh*tty office PC has me so mad I could kick a kitten. Trust me when I saw how uncharacteristic this is of me.
Excel Spreadsheet XML giving me fits. "Bad Value" is not a helpful error message. What made it bad?
I made an $11,000 error in an excel spreadsheet.. How’s your day going? #ineedadrink.
What’s more exciting than making an excel spreadsheet about fish skeletons at 11:07 at night?
Hehe! Finished my Excel workbook that will help me win the backstage Lady GaGa tickets! It’ll predict video views based on trends
i thought i had a foul mouth. students working on Excel project letting it fly.
I want to go all Office Space on Microsoft Excel right now. I will literally pay LT not to make me fix this formatting. Literal cash money.
Oh metrics, how I love thee. Spending the day making Excel sing with custom software. Lesson: IT Drop-outs can make GREAT marketers.
I just wasted an hour of my life in an Excel spreadsheet before realizing I was given the wrong numbers. dammit!!!
Sorry 2 say it, but I hate 2 b u, with that spreadsheet. I am seriously close to banning EXCEL in office, Ssheets get 2 large
I just got freaking iChatted about putting ‘$1,000’ into an Excel spreadsheet. No joke. Because NOBODY ELSE CAN DO IT.
Excel does charts. crap ones. you can dropshad text if you want but bugger having control over size, scale, spacing… MS FAIL
why can’t i attach an Excel spreadsheet to a facebook message?!?!?!?!?
My 2nd day in the job & the Excel spreadsheet I was working on all day crashed & burned. If #Windows7 was your idea, I hate you.
Curious to know what it says about me that I’d rather open Excel & create a spreadsheet w/formulas than multiply & divide in my head?
finsihed all my in class excel work…seriously SUCH a joke!!!! the text book doesn’t even tell you the most effcient way to do each task…
Client 2 me "you good at charts in excel?" Me "um, 1st degree nerd-belt here. i use charts for lifting regimes" Client: "I’m not surprised"
A Pivot Table cannot overlap another Pivot Table – why is this my problem Microsoft?

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Excel Twitters 20100303

Are fancy-dancy charts better or worse than professional looking charts? You should know the answer to that if you’re going to attract the ladies with your incredible Excel skills. But maybe the fashion designer who uses Excel will be impressed.

I’d like to conclude now that Excel is idiot proof. Unfortunately, most of the people in my I.T. class are far beyond “idiot”.
OK my current version of Excel has fewer features than my previous version. What’s with that eh Ballmer?
Although my awesomeness was impacted when I tried to show him my spreadsheet & found that Excel had eaten every single piece of my data.
Ok then, hot water tank sounds like my work pc trying to run excel, and the fridge is making Tardis like noises. Exterminate.
I thought Excel was my biggest enemy… but then I met Salesforce.
Ha me too. We always get questions about Excel. I’m like yeah um please hold.
Tech Night is coming up this Thursday March 4 @ The Lewes Library!! We will be discussing MS Excel.. yeah I know.. I didn’t pick the topic..
i always knew that, some day, i was going to somehow attract the ladies through my incredible excel skills. i think today may be that day.
I’ve done a 200row excel before.
My keyboard and I are NOT on good terms with Excel 2007. Just give me unlimited rows and I’ll take 2003 back. #FB
Don’t you just hate it when you click the wrong thing in Excel and a mahooosive spreadsheet needs to recalculate
I’m sure that this is all wrong, but I’m plopping it into an Excel spreadsheet and calling it done. WHATEVA!
For those that think Google Spreadsheet is equiv to MS Excel. You need to learn Excel for more than just a table you could build in Word.
“is that in access?” uh no – that’s an excel spreadsheet w/ filters & pivot tables. “oh, looks like access” #headdesk
I work in Excel all day and when clients are using 2003 I want to break their fingers. Get with the times people.
Fashion designer Eugenia Kim uses Microsoft Excel to design her collection. How does this work?!? http://bit.ly/9iusbN
Microsoft Excel has gone rogue…completing my work tasks has become quite the endeavor!
And?? If one more person tells me “Excel is broken – the formula doesn’t work!” I’m going to scream!
You just don’t know how to use #Excel properly. Mostly that’s why people hate something. They can’t understand it!
Are there any sites where I can find ‘fancy-dancy’ comparison chart templates for excel?

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Excel Twitters 20100302

Yes, Italian food can definitely ease the pain induced by Excel hell. Maybe it would help with that swampy wallowing homework feeling too!

Looking at Excel toolbar, wondering how many years it will be until the Save icon is no longer a floppy disk. Haven’t use a floppy in years
Fine. You win excel. I will calculate manually.
Let’s see if I can finish faking survey results, make an excel spreadsheet, create the charts, and analyze them in the report – IN 2HOURS!!
I am apparently the excel man at work…? Go figure… Yay I know how to do basic formulas and how make it look pretty…
It’s official. I freakin’ hate Excel. I just spent the last two hours doing a spreadsheet and open it and guess what? BLANK. UUUGGGHHH
Accidentally clicked view code on Excel and ended up in some mystery place. Scary stuff.
It takes very little effort to experience Excel hell, particularly when a spreadsheet gets emailed.
I don’t think I’ve ever changed my own oil, but I can write an Excel VLOOKUP function without using a wizard.
Anyone else hate that Excel tries to read "@" as part of a formula? Boo, Microsoft!
excel worksheets without color are painful to work with
Italian food w/ my family 2nite…This might make up for how much I hate my Excel class. The Prof made some1 take a quiz in the hall…LAME
On a similar note, would like an Excel function that begins with =AWESOME(
Never let someone who has never used Excel set an address list for you. Every. word. in. a. separate. cell. You can imagine the chaos.
I can now make colorful pie charts from Excel data!! It took me an hour to learn, but note that I’m an English major…
my hubby once got me an advanced excel spreadsheet book for Xmas. He hasn’t lived it down was approx 15 years ago too!!!
just got called king of the internal developed forecast model in Excel with tons of Macros at work…what a complement
Accounting would be so much easier if he put the blank excel sheet online so we could follow along on our laptops!
Excessive excel calculations has prompted brain to overheat, so kind colleague has switched on fan to ease my brow.
Oh Excel. You make me feel like a very stupid hippo, slogging my way through the thicket of swampy wallowing homework. Squelch.
Sure he can draw in excel, but can he put together a pivot table.

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Excel Twitters 20100301

Hooray! It’s March, and that means we made it through another February. Over the weekend, Excel users were working in bed, watching F1 pre-season stuff, and complaining to Microsoft. Oh, and there might have been a bit of drinking, if you can count Peach Schnapps.

And we did an Excel Word Search on the Contextures blog a while ago, so use that one if you’d rather not create your own from scratch.

I love when financial aid forms provide a mere two lines to list info for parents’ other dependents. Mine: "See Attached Excel Spreadsheet."
Another reason why I hate the Twilight saga is because its sales figures make any other figure insignificant. Ruins excel charts completely.
Sorry kids auditioning tomorrow… please enjoy my crappy sign in sheets made with Excel.
I just learned a new shortcut on Excel… Ctrl D- duplicates the line above it! Awesome!
Dear Mac Excel, we tried hard to make it work, but your dysfunction has driven me back into the arms of Win Excel.. and it just feels right!
Another productive day at robotics today. I learned a lot about how powerful Excel can be while trying to improve our tank drive code!
Professor, the excel assign. is too difficult. Please to be making it where students who are not engineer majors can pass your class. KThx.
Time to put the kettle on. I’ve answered emails, complained to Microsoft about lack of Print Prev icon on Excel 2008 for Mac, so coffee now.
Using m&ms 4th grade excel spreadsheet style in my Saturday class. Yeah, be jealous. http://twitpic.com/15ntia
working on building excel charts for my son & nieces science fair project "Crowded Crops"
Peach schnapps and excel spreadsheet work in the bar
i even used some excel to create a word search for my work placement! feeling very proud of myself!
Jay just tried to get me to do some excel spreadsheet for his fantasy baseball…bahahahahahaha! Silly man. Not happening.
I have time to tell you that I am working with excel while my computer processes the "16" I just entered into a cell.
Oh, good. A coworker once told me he planned to work on an Excel spreadsheet while watching SpongeBob with his kids.
Spent 3 hours tonight creating an epic Excel spreadsheet for 2010 media buy. Forgot how much fun numbers can be! #workshifting
I’m finally giving up on Excel’s #RefEdit controls. ~5-10% of my customers have RefEdit issues. Sometimes solved by updates, not always.
Trying to single out an appropriate forum to ask developers of MS Excel 2007 for help. The audacity! Just who do I think I am?!
So it’s over guys. Which means the maths can begin. Who’s really fastest? Thank God for Excel… #F1
Hate to say it but in 1hr in Excel on laptop in bed, I’ve got more done than in a week at desk at work. #nothowit’smeanttobe
Other people’s games have a boss screen that looks like an Excel spreadsheet. My game IS an Excel spreadsheet.

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Excel Twitters 20100227

Pivot Tables Olympics? Yes, I’d be a fan of that. It might even be more exciting than Olympic hockey!

And be careful out there – you wouldn’t want to accidentally delete two hours of work, or show your spreadsheet on a giant billboard.

Anyone got a good app for organizing #ff messages? My attempt at organizing on an Excel spreadsheet is an insult to my generation…
Stopping for double Red Bull on way to work. After last night’s Excel debacle, figure I’ll need it. That & a ritual sacrifice to excel gods.
It’s so you EARN the weekend… thats the only positive spin I can put on working in Excel.
VLookup is my best friend today. And if you don’t know what that is, you are obviously not an Excel geek like me.
give me a problem, i’ll solve it with excel.
I like how Excel refuses to work in SDI. Because we all know, there is no reason at all to ever want to have 2 separate Excel windows. #fail
=vlookup() you are my friend – just saved me about 2 hours of brain numbing Excel work.
Today I will be staring at a fake Excel sheet while streaming the #TeamUSA game at work. Shhh. Don’t tell anyone.
ARG! Just accidentally permanently deleted two hours of test cases. Stupid Excel. Reason #231 to use Google Docs!
I really despise Excel 2008, it’s the Vista of spreadsheet software: more complex, but somehow with less features and usability. Blerg.
12 hrs till freedom. Turned 20 excel cells into a 58 slide, $50mil PE presentation.
Is there anything better in life than creating lovely coloured charts in Excel. Hmmm tasty data. yum yum
someone called my excel spreadsheet ugly. i’m going to go cry now.
I’m going to make an Excel spreadsheet documenting my headaches. Maybe by next year it’ll be interesting. #nerd
I am not an expert…just know where they are. I hear the words "pivot table" and I faint out of fear!
Someones excel spreadsheet on giant electronic billboard. Oops wrong button.
I am a Pivot Table / Analytics God. Wow, bragging about Excel Skillz is a new low for me…
Back home working, now. trying to stay out of the beer fridge while working in Excel. The combination doesn’t usually work well. 😉
Now wrestling with the idiosyncratic VBA in an Excel spreadsheet, and it’s dawning on me that I’ve forgotten more than I ever knew…
Also, me and Excel are having fights about drop-down lists because I am not Excel-fluent and Microsoft is evil.
My laptop is slowing down due to an MS Excel VLOOKUP of 270,000 records. This is one example where I want a gaming PC but not for gaming.
The worst part about my job? When I pull of some awesome Excel formula style problem solving, no one, literally no one, cares.
If there was an Olympics for Excel Pivot tables, I would have just done the equivalent of the Double McTwist.

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Excel Twitters 20100227

Drawing in Excel was featured on Daily Dose of Excel yesterday. If you’re not artistic, you can use the ExcelArt program that was mentioned in these Excel tweets. I tried the free version, and it worked well in Excel 2007, but I can’t think of any practical applications for it.

No matter what I do Excel hates me.. It prob hears me talking behind its back
stuck in a class with a bunch of accountants doing excel with an oracle plugin…. help
On December 26, 2014, I will be 10,000 days old, ie 27.38 yrs old. From fun w excel when my boss & I are supposed to be working.
you know your spreadsheet’s too big when it takes excel 3 MINUTES to insert a column!
Fixed a really strange Excel issue and saved a coworker about 2 days of work recreating this document–a second time. This is why I work.
Corrupt excel file just ruined two days of work. If anyone wants me I’ll be at the bottom of a bottle of wine.
i’ve hit the BOSS button bout 9 times while watching US hockey. unfortunately it pops up an excel graph in vista. boss will know difference.
Really must change the Labour Analysis tab on an excel spreadsheet I inherited. "Lab Anal" just sounds too…..clinical.
Why is making an Excel spreadsheet like a test drive through hell?
Silverlight player #fail: "Boss" button pops up Win7 desktop with Excel open. I have a Mac, and I use Google Docs.
I have never been so happy and excited and smiley about an Excel spreadsheet in my entire life!!!!
Old-school budgeting – Switching from Excel to pencil & paper. I love a good sharp point!
I wish we were getting Office 2010 at work when it comes out. There’s some shinyshinyshiny stuff in Excel. Sigh.
ExcelArt converts your images to Excel mosaics for Free | I Love … http://bit.ly/dljBFb
Why does Excel screw everything up. Charts use to be so easy & now I can’t figure out how to make 1 simple change!!!
If I was smart if wouldn’t have taken me 2 hours to figure out how to fix this dumb Excel chart!
when the going gets tough, the tough make a color-coded excel chart
Working on an excel formula that will revolutionize how I count duplicate entries but can’t get it to work like I want it too! #FAIL
Is it too early in the season to already be scouting for fantasy baseball? My Excel spreadsheet says no.
Learned a new Excel trick this week: shrinking a spreadsheet to 1 page. I now feel like the last 10 years of my life have been a waste.
Discovery of the day: playing with Excel to manipulate dissertation-based data is far better than writing dissertation. Fact.
Even a product budget. Writing a number in an excel spreadsheet is not going to magically produce a result.

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Excel Twitters 20100225

Have you ever been in an Excel training room that ran out of oxygen? Yeah, me too. But if you’re just there to learn how to limit the number of characters you can type in a cell, the answer is Data Validation.

I hate how the ‘Insert Row/Col’ button in Excel 2007 isn’t on the ‘Insert’ tab. I see tab 1st & click it instead of the button every time!
excel 2007 training….three years late 😉 no.. oxygen.. left in ..the …….training ………roommmmmmmmmm……
I don’t know if I have ever had a time when I thought Excel was fun.
Ever at the cutting edge, our work’s just got Excel 07. Were on 97. Huge leap fwd. I love it!
Sitting in an ICE train, I’ve just realized that my last two days of work have been wrong, thanks to a stupid mistake I made in Excel! Cry…
fell asleep during a lecture in BCIS II, and when i woke up my pivot table looked very different from mr ashley’s. oops.
I’d rather be playing on facebook and twitter. But I had to bring work home. And I want to catapult excel charts and graphs into oblivion
anyone know the formula in Excel for specifying a character maximum count in a single cell?? i forgot! (love my excel formulas!)
It is really sad how content Microsoft Excel makes me. Nice to know my brain is in spreadsheet form.
Spent morning doing statistical stuff in excel…until it devolved into yet another epic battle against Windows Vista.
I realize that excel is a powerful piece of software but is it really the best choice for a distributed decision support system… it’s VBA.
anybody wanna do my excel take home test for Stats? i’ll pay you in cookies
Is Excel Chart Wizard coming back? I had to downgrade to 2003 version to keep it, use it _all_ the time! Thanks!
So I wasted like $1,000 in like a week and a half and I don’t know what I spent it on!!! I need to make an excel spreadsheet lol
Guess I’m gonna have to finally break down and learn Excel since my resume says I’m proficient in it, eh? I hate Excel. x(
excel is scary!! must use it now… hope i wont become a nice dinner to some random shark… 🙂
I’m a big fan of Microsoft but whoever wrote the code that links Word & Excel … is either playing jokes on me or needed better QA ….
Excel’s arrow key is jammed… Second restart of the day and it’s ONLY 10 am. Excel and I have a love hate relationship.. More hate though.
Time to turn graph love into Excel detestation: 38 minutes.
I guess I’ve got the Wednesday morning grumps. Excel would be fine if every one followed the same format.
This job I was considering applying to requires "Complete mastery of Microsoft Word, Excel and PowerPoint." Really, COMPLETE MASTERY?

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Excel Twitters 20100224

Hungarians invented Excel? Spreadsheets need architecture? Beckett could have written “Waiting for Excel?” There’s always something new and interesting to learn in Twitter.

r we going to drink tonite..is anybody good in excel I really need help wit tht.
so instead of actually doing my lab report, im googling excel help. microsoft fail me.
Going back to the mental anguish of working on this Excel spreadsheet. Perhaps it will distract me from the dental pain. . .
Work finished: I’m starting to see the world in excel form, it’s like I’m a really dull Neo in an even duller Matrix.
I just modeled my geekiness in Excel. Turns out I’m not that geeky. I think my model is broken.
Sadly mines like "Waiting for Godot" if you replace "godot" with hometime and the existential crisis with Excel
Some of the most significant things in our world have been invented by Hungarians: von Neumann architecture, network theory, and Excel.
Been sent "artwork" in Excel by client. Can anyone see anything wrong? http://twitpic.com/14vuwz
can’t believe the number of times p/d I google "how do I (insert nerd idea here) on an excel spreadsheet?".& how many forums exist on it
why do people put plus signs in their excel formulas? is that still necessary?
Just got an updated Excel spreadsheet from my pops of restaurants I have to visit in IL based on "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives." He’s nuts.
the nerd in me is enjoying working on an excel spreadsheet….really it just gives me an excuse to listen to "wait wait don’t tell me"
Isn’t everyday an excel spreadsheet kind of day for you?
my super charged excel spreadsheet takes 5 mins to calculate. That indicates I’m "really really smart" or "smart but not that smart".
I love excel! It is genius. Cannot wait to work with access which is apparently excel on steroids.
While looking at some of my work in Excel, the boss says, "Yeah, but it would be nice if you could sort the numbers." #Over45vsTechnology
If I didn’t work so quickly in #Excel, I wouldn’t be so upset that the last auto save was 15 minutes ago. 🙁
I am going to dedicate my time on Wed to work on the Excel portion of my Business Systems class. Someone remind me to do this.
Have been talking about that with ppl recently. GST increase will be great for IT. Tonnes for contract work to fix Excel sheets!
Overheard at Target, "So does this Netbook do Excel?" "Oh yeah, it excels at lots of things. Sorry, I typically work in Cosmetics."
There is no architectural approach that can make it nice to work with excel spreadsheets
What’s a pivot table in microsoft excel? I want to do the bonus question for my excel assignment.
My boss just freaked out on me because I suggested changing his color scheme in his excel file, haha, I should make it all pink! Hahaha.
Just fixed a two-day Excel problem with 30 seconds of staring & three button presses. My coworker thinks I’m the embodiment of Clarke’s Law.

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Excel Twitters 20100223

The lift, duck and click sounds like an Olympic event, but apparently it’s an office sport. With that kind of distraction, no wonder people forget to save their Excel files.

..still need help with Excel..anyone? I’m sick of feeling inferior to it.
I just found Remove Duplicates on the Data tab in Excel. Well that would of been useful 2 wks ago.
I entered some work info in an excel and closed it expecting it to ask me if i need to save it, it closed without savin, lost 2 hrs of work!
My dad and I are bonding over Microsoft Excel
Is it really sad that I’ve just copied the online food shop into excel so I can easily create a pivot table to split the bill?
My PC (crashed by the regulation memory stick – again) has just told me that it ‘cannot quit Microsoft Excel’. Should I send it to rehab?
The Excel graph that I just made looks EXACTLY like the Star Trek symbol. No joke.
How does a hardcore Windows Excel user really learn to love Excel on a Mac? Anyone? Anyone? Wonder if 5 more years will change anything.
I’ve gotten good with the lift, duck and click. Raise the butt slightly to see over the cubicle, down, Excel spreadsheet.
Just spent the last 45mins "Researching…." ie: Playing pacman at uni on Excel Spreadsheet.
Asking me to install Excel on your computer so you can start a new spreadsheet, while you’re in a spreadsheet in Excel, makes me drink more.
Watching my boss work on Excel is like watching God create everything.
"Nothing will work unless you do." Thank you, Maya Angelou. Back to Excel.
i love pivot tables. I hate excel though….
My excel worksheet has gone mad… =S
Excel never knows when to leave me alone. It’s a companion that I love & hate. Every marketer has one….
nearly 80% of your tweets from the past 2 weeks have been about how much you hate excel… you should write a letter to MSFT
A person in line at the grocery store had their list on a clipboard – an excel chart and the columns were the aisle #’s. Kinda jealous.
excel’s pie of pie chart should feel flattered when called counterintuitive

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Excel Twitters 20100222

Remember to save your in Excel every few minutes, and you might be able to stay home on Saturday to watch cartoons. But just staring at Excel won’t help, you have to touch the keyboard and mouse occasionally.

I don’t have a fine arts degree, but they haven’t taken away my arts degree, even though I’ve done thousands of VLOOKUP formulas and pivot tables.

Being nerdy and made a ‘demotivational spending diary’ in excel which works out what my card would be at if I paid the money off it instead.
You are a crazy person. Either go to sleep or do something fun! And don’t say writing excel macros is fun.
Just got up. My eyes can still conceive vivid images of excel sheets after working with and reconciling 34000 rows yesterday.
saturday mornings are for cartoons and cereal.. too bad i’m stuck in the office working on excel files! 🙁
Since my last update 3 hours ago, I made cinnamon cupcakes (30 mins) and spent the rest of the time working in excel. My head hurts!
I hate MS Excel right now. I stared at the computer screen for 3 hours tonight and couldn’t figure out my problem. Will try again tomorrow.
Making a nice excel spreadsheet of the vineyards/winerys I want to visit in Napa…what can I say, I love organization!
Client forwarded their logo in an Excel spreadsheet, body text said "the girl will know what to do with this." What decade is this again?
Always nice to find the reason your excel formula doesn’t work isn’t a problem with the formula… its because you are an idiot.
wish i could suddenly know how to use excel. im clearly useless and this work is clearly due tomorrow. clearly i’m screwed.
Am fairly sure that tomorrow I’ll be on my 3rd excel page of my "jobs applied for" spreadsheet. I have high hopes for next week & interviews
I am floored. My excel didnt save my last 4 hrs of work. Reentering everything, fml
Excel – the only thing worse than Internet Explorer. #pycon
Arg! Just because data is in an excel spreadsheet, does not mean its properly arranged, formatted etc.. BLEH
I have to move in a few months so I’m packing up my bedroom a little at a time. Using an Excel spreadsheet to track it all! 🙂
For me to have such an extensive Excel background, I just made the ugliest and most strangely laid-out spreadsheet of my life.
Would anyone like to write a paper on the matrix and Philosophy? Or perhaps do an excel workbook?
I HATE Senior Design. I Hate Excel. I hate PDFs. That is what I hate.
I have completely forgotten how to make a pie chart properly on Excel. :/ It’s just coming up with a line…
we’re supposed to do some stupid calculations in Excel… which sounds sooo much easier than it is. urgh…
http://short.to/181xp Am I that disorganized that I’ve turned my excel spreadsheet into a rainbow and I forgot what colors are what? Yes
i’m worried that if i do one more vlookup or pivot table they’re going to take away my fine arts degree.
Overheard: "I need a faster computer to do excel". Reponse: "Maybe your computer needs a faster PERSON to do excel". Hmmmm

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Excel Twitters 20100220

Project tracking, rental fee analysis and zombie tracking…Excel was put to good use in Twitter yesterday. And remember, stay hydrated if you’re working in Excel all day, unless you have a drinking problem.

Haven’t done any spreadsheets for 2 days now. Hoping Microsoft haven’t launched yet another version of excel in that time…
just found this article on @papercutpm – Big Grandaddy of Excel Project Tracking -> good read #pmot http://icio.us/gpcaip
Dear Insurance, if I have to use Excel to understand what I owe on an insurance claim after looking at your breakdown, something is wrong.
Just owned excel’s match, index, and vlookup functions to make a snazzy spreadsheet for ppl at work. Today is a good day.
why does pressing F1 in Excel consistently fail to return anything useful for VB or formulas?
I can’t believe that in this day and age you can’t add padding to a cell in Excel! WTF?
The girl opposite is going mental on phone to her letting agent. "I’ve put it on an Excel spreadsheet!" apparenty their fees are too high.
if it’s on an excel spreadsheet it must be right
Anybody kno how to calculate formulas on Excel.?
Our clients in Texas have the longest institution names. Really makes your excel spreadsheet columns look wonky. 🙂
I’m gonna snap if I have to look at another Excel spreadsheet. But then I’d hold a press conference to apologize to my wife, family & fans.
I just wrote an order and then closed out a 2nd spreadsheet, which closed all my Excel sheets, and I lost the order. Urggggg.
Pet Peeve: People that use a desk calculator to add/subtract a bunch of numbers in Excel just to put the answer into that same spreadsheet.
Created a Zombie Tracker on an Excel spreadsheet and about to dip in the Zombie 2.0 pool. The things I do for poetry!
Apparently telling someone "to shove their excel spreadsheet up their a**" is not proper "work etiquette" . . . at least I feel better now
oh wow.. listening to flight of the conchords and typing into a spreadsheet at the same time.. find myself typing lyrics into excel :/
That’s super awesome… Excel just crashed and took my work with it 🙁 Now I have to start again from yesterday’s backup. #EXCELFAIL
Damn you hide window function in Excel! I though I’d lost two days work!
It is ironic when I’m billing MSFT and "excel has stopped working" resulting in a loss of 3 hours of work.
I hate when I accidentally click the "help" button in Excel. I’ve never needed it and it takes so long to load and then close again.
Hydration is key for all day long excel spreadsheets, charts, graphs, & analyzation! http://yfrog.com/9s4lmj
Never tryed to name a Excel worksheet (tab) "History" till today! You can’t: "History is a reserved name". #yam
There is at least one person with a drinking problem for every Excel spreadsheet that uses double-letter columns.

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Excel Twitters 20100219

Was your Excel day full of bathroom colours, drab charts, angry fruit salad and stapler fights, like these tweeters? Maybe your day was better, with fabulous pivot tables and formula problems solved. Undo can save the day too, if you remember to use it in time, and it would be nice to hear some cheering occasionally!

Great story of one job seeker who, with the help of 100 contacts (and Excel), found his next job http://bit.ly/aKjE7g
of course, it could also be the metalcore music that’s making me angry, but it’s probably excel
That’s nothing. I had a friend that had a website built using Microsoft Excel!
Spent the day fighing w/ the world’s worst stapler & Excel software that just doesn’t wanna work. #mysuperglamorousfashioninternlife
Typical: clicking Excel 2007 ribbon button "View Side by Side" brings the sheets up over/under. #msfail #fail
showed me how to make graphs in Excel last night. Am now making line graphs for every possible collection of data I can think of.
Definitely just lied to this lady and told her I knew how to use Access & Excel :/ Who wants to volunteer to teach me in less than 48hrs??
At least Excel 2007/8 ditched the "1970’s bathroom" color scheme for the graphs…
I wish Excel graphs were sexy. They are so drab and dismal. How can I impress someone with great data when it looks so darn glum?
Spreadsheet comp: ALL suck. Excel wins (on features, not on UX). OO.org calc: 2nd (best pivot tables), Numbers.App: 4th out of 3.
Can Excel sreadsheets become self aware? I swear this one spreadsheet is fighting me and building upon itself, secret code in the background
Basic spreadsheet concept is sound, but interaction model dates back to 1980s. Throw in a few MS quirks, and you have Excel.
Figured out a formula in Excel that accomplishes hours of work in one keystroke. Yay for the powa of Excel!
Spent way too long trying to write a certain function in Excel…finally settled on a work around. It feels like cheating. 🙁
Remember the days when you couldn’t "Undo" an error in Excel or Lotus? Man, I just would have lost about 5 days worth of work….whew!
Took me ONE HOUR just to figure out how to put my data in Excel so that a chart would look right. I have a PhD, people. ARG.
I have mastered the clustered-stacked column chart. What you got now, Excel?
Excel, you suck. Instead of offering a workaround for Gantt charts, why don’t you allow users to make a Gantt chart outright?
Just discovered Pivot Tables in Excel. Greatest. Things. Ever. How the hell did I miss these?
Looking for an Excel guru. Not someone who can whip up a formula. I’m talking heavy guru. Pivot tables, the works. DM me.
Excel: Put stuff in, use some functions, create "pretty" graphs, maybe some pivot tables, save, have coffee. What’s to know?
I get odd looks for my pastels. Excel’s standard colors are butt ugly. I hate spreadsheets that look like angry fruit salad.
The Doors can make anything kind of trippy – even formatting an Excel worksheet. Thank you Jim Morrison.
Microsoft Excel needs encouraging Easter egg. Upon reaching the 1000th row of any worksheet, clapping and cheering sounds must play.
Finally cracked an excel formula problem I have been pondering for a year 🙂 (I could have checked the manual, but that’s another story…)

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Excel Twitters 20100218

Mmmm…cheese, Nutella, pie charts. The Excel tweets were very tasty yesterday. And I wonder if the intern and the overworked tweeter are the same person.

is the Excel QUEEN!!! (Ok, not really. But at least in my office I am!)
bad news: my work computer is down and can’t send/receive e-mails or use Word or Excel. good news: Internet is working 🙂
Boss just came over to tell me he discovered a new Excel function – I’m still thrilled! …ha..Accounting is clearly the right place for me.
strangely, thats how i make my excel sheets better too, lots of colours and different borders. helps get throug the day…
Just discovered that Excel’s pie-of-a-pie chart is completely pointless in all ways.
My new job gives me new little pleasures. Made a perfect little formula in Excel today 🙂
I find working in Excel and Word far too satisfying. It can’t be healthy to find such joy in making spreadsheets.
hour 2 of work. Cut and pasted 6 excel cells into 3 emails. I’m obviously too overworked
It took the intern two hours to fill in 128 cells in an Excel spreadsheet. That’s 64 cells an hour. No formulas, just cut and paste.
If Microsoft Office had a party, excel would be the lonely, sober man that traps you in the kitchen and talks to you about cheese.
I’ll say it again: Teach 1000 people to use Excel and 500 to develop in MS Access *correctly*, and the upstate economy would change.
I’ve decided. I’m giving up Excel for Lent.
If Twitter did a background that looked like an Excel Spreadsheet, I could spend much more time on here in office hours.
Creating an archive of images my pasting each pic into a cell in an excel spreadsheet is not a recommended solution. #makingsimplejobshard
When it takes you seven minutes to open an excel spreadsheet, it is a pretty good indicator that you need a new computer.
Which would you prefer: a jar of Nutella & a spoon OR an Excel spreadsheet to show budget variances in financial statements? Yeah, me too.
sitting at work doing online tutorials to somehow master Excel in the next 2.5 hours so I can pass this dumb computer course for school!
Just volunteered to do some work in Excel. Must be coming down with something.
Would it have killed Microsoft to make copy and paste in Excel work like it does in every other application?
wish i wasn’t such a perfectionist, it’s taking me an hour to build a simple chart in excel lol
don’t use pie charts. ever. http://bit.ly/d464jR follows tufte with actual advice on how to make effective tables and graphs using excel.
Serious Excel win for me. Remove deleted pivot data from drop down http://bit.ly/6du9LT – This is my life… excel excitement 🙂

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Excel Twitters 20100217

Excel support groups, extra magic hours and slave traders. Just another day of boring Excel related tweets. And you’re complaining that Excel blindly follows everything you type, is Excel really the problem? 😉

Begging the Financial Controller to pretty please write an Excel macro that will put an end to my cut-and-paste mundanity.
All I want is one line. With the coordinates that are made up of my 2 values. How hard can that be Excel?
I have an admission to make. I get all excited by learning new things in Excel. Is there a support group for this?
Finding out cake recipes and putting them into Excel. Is this really an uni assignment or am I on drugs?
I have a day of Excel training ahead of me 🙁 I’m a creative! Why? Oh why? I hear there’s a Twitter app disguised as a spreadsheet.
Struggling to get my head around offsets in excel. Slightly embarassing. Not firing on all cylinders today.
you have no idea. Imagine if you were an aspiring accountant. Excel is probably my virtual soulmate or something
Teaching Excel 07 on Wednesday – figuring out what teachers want to learn.
And we just learned how to make a deck of playing cards in Excel. This is why people actually show up for Desktop Modeling.
Hooray! This is sad, but I have figured out Excel to do data analysis once again after previously erasing it from my memory 4 good.
In excel. if I have loads of tabs across the bottom, is there a way to double them up so I haven’t got to keep scrolling across to find one?
Just did my first ever visual basic coding in excel. Who knew b-school would involve computer science?
I finished my Excel work in a half hour personal record.
Debugging excel queries is like trying to work with a bratty four year old. Except you can’t sell Excel to slave traders . . .
I showed someone at work the power of F2 yesterday. He now thinks i’m an Excel goddess.
customizing excel spreadsheet for Disney client- hrs parks open/ extra magic hrs/ parades/ fireworks – then plunking in dining reservations
We Need a Spreadsheet Day http://is.gd/8pfT0 #excel
I’m running an @RISK simulation via Microsoft Excel; it must be complete in 45 hours, but it’s going to take 60 hours. I LOVE MY LIFE!
I hope I just did a Vlookup & a Pivot table successfully. You’ve no idea how confusing these damn things can be!
Excel is really stupid, it blindly follows everything I type, why cant it use brains sometimes???

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Excel Twitters 20100216

Apparently, there are lots of cells on an Excel worksheet, and it’s tough to make them all the same size. I’ll bet the guy who created the Excel chess game has that little problem figured out!

So I created an Excel worksheet last night for house building options that includes conditional formatting and list validation. Geek much?
I’m doing socio-economic data analysis complete with excel data tables for fun… what is WRONG with me?
I’ve been there, problem is Excel is ‘agile’. It starts as a simple spreadsheet. Then it grows and grows
Hey, Windows Marketplace! If you’re going to give us sales reports in Excel xml format, at least mark date cells as "Date", not "String".
I can copy a 1MB file over the VPN in seconds, but Excel can’t open a 25KB spreadsheet in less than a minute? UGH.
Would love to have a word or two with the genius who decided to discard your undo history after saving a spreadsheet in Microsoft Excel.
nothing worse than spending hours on an excel spreadsheet only to still be wrong, then the professor doing it in 15 minutes. Oh, Mondays.
After 60 day free trial Excel – Microsoft requested $500.00 to purchase. Installed OO, spreadsheet and writer are excellent saved $$$
In a single tab of an Excel spreadsheet, there are 2.5 cells for each living person in the world.
has a really complex EXCEL sheet that he needs to make work. Anyone want a challenge. A successful result = cheesecake for you! 🙂 DM me
Pushing Excel’s limits – a chess games viewer in xl http://bit.ly/cPKUEz superb work by @excelhero
Ohhh, yeah, I get what ya mean. Just spent like forever trying to figure it out. Excel’s weird with pie charts xD
Monster excel keeps me awake for one more night. I reiterate, there’s nothing as wretched in the world as a spreadsheet.
This seems like a stupid question but how in the world can I make all of the cells in an excel sheet the same size?

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Excel Twitters 20100215

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day, so I hope you spent some time with a loved one. For at least one of the weekend tweeters, that loved one was Excel, so I hope you did better than that! Or, if Excel was your date, I hope you had some wine and Bob Marley too.

And the Olympic Games are underway here in Canada, and the Excel Gum commercials are still airing. Mercifully, the commercials should stop in a couple of weeks, when the Olympics are over. Just so you can see how we’ve been suffering, I added a video at the end of the tweets list, showing one of the commercials.

Copying and pasting billions of numbers from billions of Excel files into other Excel files. Fighting on the front line of science.
2010 Cubs: split projections: Cubs splits projections and an excel file for you to calculate splits for yourselfmb…
Successfully wrangled some graphs for this bio lab paper. I am the master of bland Excel charts! Mwahahahahaaa!
My excel gum purchasing better be going to our athletes. #olympics
Bottle of wine. Emails. Excel. Bob Marley. What a combo. Before long the spreadsheet will be 1 big blur. He he he 🙂
What some people send to me as an excel spreadsheet make data manipulation a pain. Come on people! One cell for one piece of information!
Wanna know my “love day plans”? Me, my computer, and excel sheets about wine regions… Serious FML
Watching a dad berate 12 y/o over bowling. Has charts & graphs. Disappointment in vivid color in Excel. #parentingfail
Data in excel worksheets looks even more beautiful when music is streaming through my headphones….
Wall and roof energy formulas translated to Excel spreadsheets; tomorrow, roof vapor barrier calcs – enough fun for one day!
Who’d know mapping out what a frisbee looks like on excel would take 3 months
Spending the day with Excel, Accounting is my Valentine.
Get the impression that the new logo was designed by someone in Excel during a lunch break.
Ok, beat the Excel report into submission now on to doing dishes. Once that’s done then I start to make dill pickle relish. . .
forgot i did this: I inserted a picture of a duck into an excel sheet I’m working on instead of a table. Ducks make me smile.
Helping a friend create a most confusing Excel spreadsheet with too much useless information over the phone isn’t as much fun as it sounds.
Why is there no proper software for creating Gantt charts? Maybe there is. My Excel Gantt hack is driving me crazy.

Excel Gum Maple Leaf Commercial

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Excel Twitters 20100213

The 2010 Winter Olympics started here in Canada yesterday, and apparently the NBC Olympics website will help you cover up your sports watching with an Excel worksheet, if you click the Boss button. I can’t confirm that, because the videos are only available to viewers in the USA.

And tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, so maybe you can find an Excel shortcut to someone’s heart too. It might be cheaper than jewellery!

Only now noticed Excel 2007 doesn’t have shortcuts for super- and subscripts, making it even more suitable for just making grocery lists.
That’s a lesson for you! Never forget: Excel is not your friend. It only pretends to be to lull you into a false sense of security
playing Deal or No Deal in excel.. its fantastic.. onething missing is.. those beautiful gals.. 🙂
actually just chastised my coworker for not being able to format an excel spreadsheet because “what if I died?!”
Very interesting. @michaeltejedor mentions there are 7 diff types of excel users. I need to ask him to outline later #vanpassbi #sqlpass
I cannot name this module #SlapChop despite the joy it would bring me. Perfect name for an Excel mashing library though
Spreadsheets are FUN! Bill Gates needs to make an RIP shirt for Excel, because I am murdering it right now.
OMG that transition from Excel to Word is such a pain.Took more than 1 hour of stupid editing. Just copy-paste the damn thing AS IS, gees.
I wish Tom O would find a excel shortcut right to my heart
There are 2 controller types: those who control the company and those who just produce Excel sheets
All computers will be automatically scanned and Excel replaced with Quake.
Omg I’ve no calculator and I need to use excel to do the calculations! Quick someone help me!! /:
Dear Excel-I didn’t mean it when I hit delete sheet on my 28 PAGE SPREADSHEET! Please bring it back!
Dear Microsoft, If you aren’t going to tell me where in my vast Excel spreadsheet there is an incompatibility, why the F point it out?!?
i wish there was a way to export #google search results into an excel spreadsheet.
I just solved someone’s Excel problem..hell must have just frozen over. Time for a pre weekend work drink in celebration i think!
I spend so much time working in Microsoft Excel that the dudes at work call me Fill Columns. #petergabriel
We made a pivot table for a customer about what was wrong that came out as a middle finger. We left it to make a point #u30pro
The NBCOlympics.com video player has a boss button that shows an empty Windows desktop with an empty Excel window.

Fill Columns

I liked that Fill Columns joke, so here’s Phil Collins singing Don’t Lose My Number. That seems appropriate for an Excel-related post. By the way, has anyone ever seen Excel MVP Nick Hodge and Phil Collins at the same time?

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Excel Twitters 20100212

Funny, Excel never reminded me of a galloping horse, but now that you mention it, it does sound a bit like those coconuts in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. (I included an instructional video at the end of the tweets list.)

It’s part awesome and part scary that I’m the excel guru at the office.
In response to Buzz, Microsoft will introduce a Farmville clone and it will be run inside Excel.
The Freeze Panes function in MS Excel is super duper cool
Fourth Grade students using Microsoft Excel to keep score in a numbers game… and having Fun! I’m creating an army of future Accountants!
I just figured out the FILL HANDLE feature in Excel. Wow. That could have been useful info TEN YEARS AGO. #fb
If you haven’t made an Excel spreadsheet about it, you don’t really care about it #geek
Nothing worse than working with an Excel spreadsheet created by someone who sucks at Excel
I’m starting to see the world through the prism of an excel spreadsheet. assign, classify, quantify, repeat.
Wish I could get a Excel to show up to work and program itself
I hate Excel 2003! Ugh! I can’t work with only 65,000 lines!!!!!
Lesson learned: If you work for 2hrs on Excel graph to put as an image in Word doc, KEEP THE EDITABLE SOURCE! #YouOnlyMakeAMistake7Times
i love the feeling of CTRL-D-ing a row of cells in excel. I feel like a galloping horse.
I love having a secret Excel fairy. It makes me look smart.:-)
Yo know you are working with a complicated excel workbook when you do a paste and it pins all 8 cores on your workstation at 100%
I’m good with Excel, excluding pivot tables or formulas that involve math higher than I took in school. Happy to advise if I can.

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Excel Twitters 20100211

Keeping track of Olympic hockey games in Excel sounds like a great idea. Maybe Excel could create some snow in Vancouver too, for those snowboarding events. Better hurry though, since the opening ceremony is tomorrow.

/me picks up Excel. Ties it to a post. Sets Fire to the wood underneath, soaked in Petrol. Excel screams for its life.
ok- Pivot Tables in Excel confuse me. Am I supposed to do something with these drop down boxes? or…. what?
Trying to format charts in Excel — oh, the agony! Why is it easier to change gradient, 3D stuff, font & style of a label than actual words?!
I’m trying to teach someone how to do something in Excel, despite being useless at Excel myself. The blind leading the blind…
Today marks my first time using #Excel array formulas in a #PowerPivot report. I am almost embarrassed by the nerdy feeling of power.
Better living through chemistry and Excel sheets.
OH "If you can’t calculate it in excel, let me tell you that should be 7.3. Type that in"
is about to unleash some mad Excel skillz. Didn’t think lawyers could speak spreadsheet, did ya?
Working on Excel continuously for days causes a special type of headache that only a dumb comedy movie can cure
Sitting thro’ a 4 hour excel stats workshop. Stats and I have not danced for a while so this is doing my head in.
Can I make a map of the spatial distribution of lithic artifacts at an imaginary archaeological site? On Excel? Yes, I can!
The fact that people can’t manipulate a simple excel spreadsheet disturbs me more than you’ll ever know.
Baseball projections in an Excel spreadsheet? Not on my watch sister, screw that guy 🙂
Created my first ever spreadsheet. I can now list Excel on my resume without cringing.
received in : excel spreadsheet of every book bf has checked out of the library since 2005. Yes, this is how librarians date. !
Dear Open Office spreadsheet. U are the inbred, syphilitic cousin of M$ Excel. If u were in Deliverance, u would be Ned Beatty. #squeel
Searching for the excel viewer in office site didn’t work. But Google found it and showed it as top result.
I thought I was a reasonably smart individual. Then I tried to remember how to chart things in Excel. #pimpmyaxes
Using Excel to help me keep my Olympic hockey games organized. I hate this website they have the schedule on
Boss is made of PURE EVIL + wants the board book tonight. Bang goes #historytweetup for me. Have a glass of Madeira. Gloom. To Excel I go.
I’ve now become the go-to person for stupid Excel questions. Got any? Was just asked why the #s disappeared. A: You scrolled away from them

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Excel Twitters 20100210

Should you hit Excel with a rolled up newspaper, or just sit there and stare at it? And I know that some people find it frustrating to make Excel charts, but one group of students thinks that Excel charts are for the birds. (Is that just a North American expression?)

not using formulas in Excel is like saying ‘thanks for the air ticket, but I prefer to walk!’
oh i love #s. i am having problems tho doing them by hand. I need to figure out how to use excel for EVERYTHING!
I hate Microsoft of the Excel variety. Why do they call it excel? they should call it "this program will frustrate your face off"
Look honey, every time you try to use a function in Excel, the Wizard and I laugh our asses off. SUMIF? Hilarious!
thank you, excel, for crashing and recovering nothing. and for giving me a sign to leave work.
And once again, Excel has proved itself to be the best thing ever conceived by Microsoft (well, that and 3D Movie Maker).
so annoying, i could never be a manager. people dont ever listen properly. can’t even complete one simple task. basic excel dude, not hard
Off to learn about excel for the day… Not sure if it’s better or worse than actual work.
anything more maddening than Excel’s insistence 2 make every email & web addy an unremovable hyperlink whether you want it or not: minefield
cool, we’re still having email server probs & excel just crashed before i saved. my work life is so awesome i cant even handle all the fun.
I thought ACT was an overpriced sales database software solution for people who can’t work out Excel 😉
Sometimes I just want to hit MS Excel with a newspaper right on the nose and yell "Bad! Bad!"
I have Excel for Idiots going on next 2 me. U ppl are middle-aged and u work with spreadsheets regularly! How do you not already know this?
I aaaammm staring at an Excel spreadsheet and that’s about all I hope to do until home time.
teaching my mom to use excel over the phone, kill me now please but I love her
I hate doing statistics on Excel when my TI-83 sits there, pining for want of ONE BATTERY. #fb
Stupid chart can’t be made in excel without tons of fiddling. Since I have to make 50 I’ll have to find another way.
Someone tried to do a drawing in Excel, not a chart, but an actual drawing. It’s a mess.
Phase 3 students had a lovely time today using excel and images from the web to make themed charts around a provided survey of songbirds
OMG, I’ve gone this long without knowing about Pivot Tables?! I’m just going to be over here in my happy place… #excel #nerdherder

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Excel Twitters 20100209

Kryptonite and mortal enemies and genetic drift. No, it’s not a cyberpunk thriller, it’s just another day of Excel tweets. And it’s good to know that students can keep up with their Excel assignments, even if they’re snowed in. That’s exactly what I would have done, back in my university days. 😉

I suppose it *is* important to have a plan. I just don’t get why said plan has to be in excel spreadsheet.
Escaping Excel Hell- I don’t know if it’s a tech book or a cyberpunk thriller.
Excel is like kryptonite to my creativity!
I ran across an unusual site about Microsoft Excel that only posts Bacon recipe’s on Saturday. http://ow.ly/14UV2
Does anyone know how to make boxplots (box and whisker charts) in Excel?
Due to inclement weather the campus will be closed tomorrow but you can still EXCEL from your dorm room.
i can’t even save my document! seriously, excel went from best friend to mortal enemy very quickly.
through one error in excel, i have become unable to do ANYTHING without excel telling me i can’t change part of an array.
I officially hate that bl**dy ribbon thing in excel. just spent ages looking to format axes, all on some new fangled tab #bahumbug
You would think that a university with IT courses would produce a printable timetable. NO i am on excel creating my own! Grumble Grumble…
trying to figure out how to model genetic drift on excel…argh! why did I choose this job?!?
I’m making an Excel sheet for On Kissing Tom Legend. #amwriting #productivity #procrastination #denial #toomanyhashtags
How can Excel have calculated things differently in November than today… I can’t work it out. Hugely frustrating so late in the day
Her inability to read even the simplest excel spreadsheet makes me seriously wonder how she even gets to work every morning. -_- #wow
Back to my excel spreadsheets! So happy I am back to my old duties at work. Numbers not people!
I’m so not in the work zone, I just started typing my business figures in my twitter update instead of excel.
Learned how to make an exploding pie chart in my excel training class… wish that was as exciting as it sounds
I hope managers and executives watch "Undercover Boss" and take note: Get your asses in the trenches and quit looking at Excel spreadsheets!
my wife is mad because I laughed at her. She put her new Windows login password in Excel. Now she can’t login and did not write down.
Someone suggested I call myself an Excel Ninja (vs Excel Mercenary). Interesting thought.

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Related Links:

Box and Whisker Utility (affiliate link)
Box and Whisker Plots
Contextures Excel Tips and Tutorials

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Excel Twitters 20100208

The Super Bowl hadn’t started when I collected the Excel related tweets on Sunday, so maybe that’s why there wasn’t much talk about football. You’d think that Excel would be the perfect tool to compile all those game statistics.

My numbers for the Super Bowl Square Pool are "square root of X" & "=sum(b2:k2)". I hope the Colts go for a pivot table conversion!
remembered too late that alcohol and Excel don’t mix
Listening to the filthy classic ‘Ain’t No Fun’ from Snoop while working on an Excel spreadsheet. What an awesome combo.
Not to see like a dork but I just learned how to make a "Tornado Chart" on Excel and I am more or less ecstatic
nevermind, screw excel. I’d rather have pretty nails than something cool to show my boss.
Anyone else feel murderous when Excel suddenly says "Hey! It looks like you’re managing a list!"?Almost as bad as the talking paper clip.
I need an excel spreadsheet to keep track of my nephew’s revolving girlfriends.
Anyway, turns out Excel is pretty great for dealing with bread formulae, especially once you bust out the =CONVERT() function.
Using Excel so constantly at work is starting to turn it into a first-tier tool at home. BEIN’ ASSIMILATED SEND HELP.
How is it possible that my dad is better than me at Microsoft Excel -____-
Just learned how to add an average line in my excel chart. Thank You Google University! Hunter College I think you owe me my money back!
my caffeine and excel addiction is pretty intense.
1 excel spreadsheet, 2 cookies, 3 charts, 4 books, 5 hours and a glass a wine later I have shaping and sizing with st pattern integrity!
slow sunday, grey and cold, quiet streets. getting ready to do some work, always more relaxed to do excel pivot tables at home vs office
Sometimes I hate using other people’s Excel spreadsheets. Its like…. What were they thinking?!?
I hate how Excel feels the need to correct every number that I type. It won’t even let me type 10/10/10
I think spread sheets would be an awesome project. My boss (60-something engineer) can’t even use excel.
you know you’re getting too obsessive when you maintain an excel spreadsheet for all your cards

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Related Links:

Excel Charts

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Excel Twitters 20100207

Yesterday I had two votes for the uncategorized list of Excel related tweets, and zero votes against, so I’ll stick with this format. Thanks to Joe, for suggesting a bit of space between the list items. And I like Jon’s description of this format – stream of consciousness.

There are a couple interesting links, including one for Morse Code in Excel. Maybe you could rig it to play, “My Excel skillz bring all the boyz to the yard.”

Excel has revolutionized the way I do my accounting homework.
Someone should write "Excel for Totally Unmotivated Math-hating Lamebrains." A one-page book with one word: OUTSOURCE!
Why is it that because you write software for a living people think you’re an expert with microsoft excel?
my life in microcosm: learning how to do excel functions from a weight training manual #531
I’m looking for a free/cheap way to create really cool 3D charts (pie and bar charts). Better than Excel, cheaper than InDesign. Anyone?
Just got a ‘general mail failure’ in Excel. Glad their spelling is validated, but I still feel like less of a man.
that’s cause most companies dedicate half their resources to shifting numbers in excel rather than actually producing anything
Office of the speaker fails at excel charts. Jobs Lost as a negative number means jobs gained. http://j.mp/econrecov
My Excel skillz bring all the boyz to the yard. My spreadsheet… is better than yours, damn right… it’s better than yours.
I’m convinced that if Excel 2007 could cure aids AND cancer people still wouldn’t use it because of the ribbon…
used to hate my budget… now i track it to the penny. my excel doc matches my back account… nerdy? yes. smart? i think so.
it’s Friday afternoon and my work brain just shut off – right in the middle of creating this invoicing excel spreadsheet – oh well
It’s amazing what you can do with Excel, amazing but really ugly
Just realized that Excel 2007 moves the find box out of the way when scrolling… nice enhancement that took me 3 years to realize existed
I can’t help it: I’m very proud of my "Clearing Command Center", an Excel-sheet I have reared from a cub to its present state of monstrosity
designed an Excel Tool for translating "two switch Morse code" into Text – here’s how http://tinyurl.com/ybwzrhv – yay #disability #morse

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Related Links:

Excel Charts

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Excel Twitters 20100206

Here are some of my favourite Excel tweets from yesterday. Instead of breaking the tweets into categories, I’ll just post them in one long list. That should make it more serendipitous, and more “Twitter-like”.

Anyway, I just hope that nuclear reactors have better security than Excel does!

Story idea: Admin’s typo yields Excel formula proving God exists. Boss deletes, as it doesn’t accurately track accounts. Universe vanishes.
Wanna merge cells? – Excel pick up lines.
Just discovering that VLookups in Excel aren’t fast. #WouldHaveBeenQuickerInPerl
Dont talk to me about excel.
i guess everyone is using excel to create charts – but that’s simply not cool
Our graphic designer just hugged me because I showed her how to use the ‘concatenate’ function in excel. Am terribly amused.
has finally finished entering all my 2009 receipts into an Excel spreadsheet. It only took 6 hours. Maybe this year I’ll enter them as I go.
excel crashed just when i was about to finish my last sheet of work for the day. didn’t get angry though. just laughed and started over. (:
Mom is home. I miss my silence already. The sound of she and the dogs eating pistachios as I duel with Excel may be the death of me.
On standby for acute surgery, making love to a sprawling Excel file and wishing I was Speedo-clad beneath a waterfall of iced coffee.
…and that’s how i spent 4 hours working in excel. on one sad little chart.
Why can I order data better in iTunes than Excel, that’s stupid!!!
Discussed favourite #Excel shortcuts with my boss. ALT+D+G+G (mine) beat CTRL+E+S+V (him). Clearly we’re scarred by previous jobs. #geek
Made a silly mistake in Excel. If the same mistake occurred at a nuclear reactor, we’d all be quite dead.

So, what do you think? Is the uncategorized list better? Worse? No difference?

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Excel Twitters 20100205

It’s 2010, and we’re still struggling with Excel 2007. I hope the people at Microsoft are listening! And there’s some debate as to whether Excel charts are cool or old school. Part of the answer might be user dependent. 😉

And if you’re not Canadian, you might not be familiar with Excel gum. Even John Walkenbach (Mr. Spreadsheet) was impressed: “Excel gum. Fresh breath and faster recalcs.”

Stupid Binocular Icon

So that’s where is it. Stupid binocular icon. I like old Excel better.
Found out that Excel 07 is not that awesome afterall, I’m disappointed. I couldn’t even add 2 rows in my spreadsheet
I’m having a hard kicking 15 years of Excel habits. 2007 is the only version I didn’t immediately acclimate to.
Excel 2007 is awesome, there are Access features built in! …and I love me some Access.

All Fired Up

Have just set fire to dodgy version of excel spreadsheet. Feel better now.
When I die and inevitably go to hell, there will be no fire or brimstone, just a workstation running Excel.
I’m on tap to do a newsroom training session today on Excel and database reporting. Should I bring firecrackers to keep people awake?
believes there must be a solar flare somewhere, technology is not friendly today. Phooey to portals, applications & excel spreadsheets.

Cool or Old School?

Dude just do your Gannt Charts old school like in excel or MSFT Project.
what tools do you use to make charts? anything better then excel?
http://twitpic.com/zwng1 – With over 20 years of development, Excel’s chart tool still sucks.
Cool Excel dashboard: charts update as mouse moves over regions on map (in Chinese by Wangxiang Liu) http://bit.ly/ac1LPe

Chew On That!

I’ve been chewing this Excel gum for hours and I haven’t produced a single spreadsheet.

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P.S. For help with Excel, see Contextures Excel Tips and Tutorials

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Excel Twitters 20100204

Corruption, global warming, Smallpox – Excel related twitters cover all the hot topics! And if the Holy Bible in Excel doesn’t help with your corruption issues, check this article by Jan Karel Pieterse: Opening Corrupt Excel Files.

Hardly Working

Continuously reformatting a workflow excel file can be a credible substitute for actual work.
Today’s office tip: Having two excel sheets open at the same time makes you look twice as productive.
I love playing with Excel.. People think I am working!
the IT man got my email to work..but the excel running just as slow as before. #howdare he walk out the office like he solved global warming

The Good Book

Huh. Apparently I’ve been holding on to a book called "Excel 97 Secrets". Think it’s worth anything? 🙂
After several lengthy pages of Excel calculations for Info 631, my book states in a later chapter that there is a tool to automate my work.
Time 2 turn on the music, open up the school books and see what torture microsoft excel has 4 me 2day!! Have I mentioned I HATE this class?
Just the other day I said to myself, "If I only had the Holy Bible as an Excel worksheet…" http://bit.ly/4v6w3x

Computer Usage

people who set borders on every cell on the spreadsheet in excel when only 10 rows and 6 columns have data should be banned from computers..
Apparently I have corrupted an Excel workbook. corrupting innocent computer programs. does that make me immoral?
Browse web, read articles, books, write emails — that is what 99% of people use a computer for. Very few do graphics design or Excel
Folks still using their ‘puter mostly for email, Excel/PowerPoint for work. FB is their starter drug to more. 🙂

Vote Now!

Can’t work out which is worse: Excel, Smallpox or Fascism. Vote now!

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P.S. For help with Excel, see Contextures Excel Tips and Tutorials

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