If you’re tired of churning out Excel charts, go on a relaxing vacation, but try to avoid the kebab queues ā someone might try to feed you a 3-D chart! For some reason, now I’m the IT chick at work. I have no idea how to fix computers, but I can format your Excel spreadsheet….
If it’s your birthday, should you be allowed to use Calibri font, coloured cells and default Excel charts in your reports? I love "code" that uses syntax and operators correctly. Excel macros are in some made up Microsoft language. I hate it! You know you’re ready to start work when you spent the day creating…
If you’re too tired to filter by colour, you might as well quit for the day, before your boss starts to judge you. This Excel program is actually pretty cool… and smart. It just did all my work for me. Work: the soul sucking place that makes you wake up early and do stuff with…
Would a dewonker help, if your boss types the wrong data in your spreadsheet, or asks you to build a 100% stacked pyramid chart? Discovered the equivalence of "hard labor" for computer work: Modifying Excel reports and formatting their borders and colors. One day Excel will be able to work out what kind of chart…
Excel has perhaps driven you to drink on occasion, but has it ever made you see everything in Greek? Excel is refusing to work in some very creative and (almost) humorous ways. I’m getting punk’d by Microsoft. The look of awe on someones face when u teach them to do a pivot table is #priceless…
I’m sorry, but we can’t work together in Excel. You like 100% stacked pyramid charts, and Nickelback. I’ve become the type of person who says things like "why is this not a pivot table? ugh!" #excel I’m watching a guy work with data and charts on the train. The way he moves around excel is…
A jug of wine, some Mozart, and air conditioning ā the perfect ending for an exhausting day with Excel. I was just called over to someone’s office to help them delete a worksheet from excel. This job makes me look good. Excel returned a "Catastrophic failure" error today. Guess Microsoft feels that having me code…
If you add charts to your wedding planning spreadsheet, does your heart beat faster, making it even more romantic? I can hack a Swiss bank account, monitor activity on the Moon, and track a cheetah. But insert a check mark in an Excel spreadsheet? I #heart my dad, at my moment of despair he sends…
Is it better if Excel turns all white, and hangs, or would you rather see a purple and yellow spreadsheet, that makes your eyes burn? Excel aways asks "Shift Cells Right?" Or "Shift Cells Left?" I’m just working on a spreadsheet, let’s keep politics out of it, Microsoft! I am pretty sure the meaning of…
If your day wasn’t Excel Lent, work off your frustration with an exploding pie chart. And don’t bore your spouse with the pivot table details when you get home. 5 excel sheets. 10 min. 8 million brownie points with the boss. Thank you 7th grade for teaching me the "sum" function #n00bz Note to self:…
Yes, using Excel can turn you into an adult ā an adult who makes very bad basketball jokes. Slouching towards adulthood with one hand in a fist and the other editing a spreadsheet. My manager doesn’t understand Excel. So everytime I make him a spreadsheet in under 2 minutes he thinks I’m a freaking genius….
Try to avoid sacrificing any Excel files today, especially if you’re organizing the next Olympics in that spreadsheet. Asking my dad how much hamburger I should buy for a barbecue inevitably leads to intense number crunching and complicated Excel charts. Is it possible to hide a whole spreadsheet accidentally? Or is that my Excel sacrifice…
Is it even possible to love Excel too much? Strangers on a crowded bus, on the other hand, aren’t usually so appealing. Someone pinch me — I just helped a coworker with an Excel problem. Me! Excel! I’d love to help you with this. First though, what is an "Excel file" and how do you…
Pivot tables can help you work with exponential efficiency, and slay dragons, but please take time to drink and breathe. Ice cream and peanut butter cookies will help too. Actually used a pivot table at work today which is 1 more time than I ever thought I would use it in the real world Sent…
After a day of looking for an Excel needle in the haystack, try rolling your calves on a pivot table, while you relax. I’ll write you a love song – me to my guy. "I’ll make you a spreadsheet in Microsoft Excel." – my guy to me. Smh. #romance This excel spreadsheet is looking at…
If you want to get back to that happy place, after working in Excel, try some chocolate, or a short nap on the futon. There was a time I didn’t even know what a pivot table was. A happy time. Working on a spreadsheet for 3 hours and then being told it has already been…
If your brain is too frazzled, you won’t be able decide if food is more important than Excel. And why do shopping carts and office buildings look like spreadsheets? For a simple tool it’s amazing the carnage you can cause when you send the wrong Excel spreadsheet out #cockup #biblicalscale #sadpanda I’ll stab myself with…
If you’re going to dream about pivot tables, make sure you get them working right, and give yourself a few stars when you finish them. Iād like to see any of these so-called Olympians do a VLOOKUP or manage a pivot table. #LearnedInGradSchool An Excel spreadsheet brings clarity to any situation. For example, today I…
If someone leaves an Excel training brochure on your office chair today, just ignore it. You’re only having trouble because the coffee isn’t working. If they had an Excel spreadsheet pivot table making competition, I might watch more. #London2012 Just spent way too long making up an Excel workbook for budgeting throughout the year. I…
This weekend, get out of that gloomy, grey science building for a few hours, and do something that you enjoy. Pivot tables are fun, right? Or you could watch some of the Olympics. If you’re bored at work, NEVER tell your boss. Always keep Excel open and pretend you’re working. #LifeLessons Work needs to be…
Yes, Excel is the only thing that could make the happiest place on earth even happier. Now polish your halo, and click Refresh. Am I the only one who wishes their iPhone had excel so I could acess my Disney planning spreadsheet on the go? I just made a spreadsheet. Feel a little bit dirty….
Keep manipulating those all singing all dancing Excel worksheets. It might not be an Olympic event, but the hugs and giggles make it enjoyable. This is it. Today is the day. I am working on #excel not because I have to but because it IS easier. #Yay! #geek #work #ihavearrived Highlight of my day someone…
Olympic fever is everywhere, even in our spreadsheets. What office sport do you Excel at? Stapler throwing? Pie charting? Has anybody ever been helped by a terrible looking excel chart? Can I just stop making these now? I luv when my boss has an Excel question & the answer’s really easy but he’s so impressed…
It’ll be a busy couple of weeks, if you’re trying to work in Excel while you watch the Olympics. And remember to eat a sandwich occasionally, to keep your strength up. That’s it, I’ve just won at life — and, by "life," I mean "Excel charts." #researchassistantlife Oh Excel spreadsheet. They could write a sitcom…
An instruction book for Excel? Surely it hasn’t come to that! Just stare at it for another couple of hours, and it will all make sense. Hey people really good at Excel, what is that one formula that populates the past 3 weeks of work I didn’t do into these cells? Nooo just spent an…
While your creative mind is busy with number crunching today, remember to save your Excel file occasionally. That absolutely horrible moment when you realize you made a typo in a formula…on 60 different worksheets. #excel #excelproblems #fml I just love it when I discover a simple formula for something I’ve already spent 30 minutes manually…
Pink spreadsheets might be perfect for your Excel wedding plan files, but not for business reports. People will think that you’ve been smoking something! everyone that I work with makes the most boring excel sheets all of mine are color coded in all different shades of pink. You know you’re an industrial engineer when you…
Can you get a pivot table at Ikea, or do you have to go to the edge of the universe, and beyond? Every Excel genius should be able to answer that question. Had breakfast with a statistician; lost subsequent six hours in Excel seeing if my course evals look better as piecharts or bar graphs….
Working successfully in Excel requires a delicate balance of latte, Mountain Dew and chart fumes. But be careful, some charts create a surplus of fumes! Accidentally hid an excel workbook and thought I had lost it- -who came up with such a feature?!?! #terrifying Intern candidate sent in her resume in an Excel spreadsheet…as my…
Of course the time you spend working in Excel makes a difference in this world. And it’s even more important during the Olympics, so get your spreadsheets ready! Hacking excel code like a boss… if such a thing is possible. Making the biggest spreadsheet man has ever seen! THE OLYMPICS ARE COMING!!!! My nicknames in…
A pivot table book is not a good substitute for a fly swatter. And if you break your arm, it will be harder to clap when you get excited about your Excel accomplishments. They want me to make all these fancy charts in Excel, what they don’t know is that it was a struggle just…
Do you remember the old days, when 3-D pie charts were cool? But no matter how much they change Excel, we still love it. Most of us don’t take pictures of it though. Let me finish making this spreadsheet so I can get on with my life Someone asked me how I became an Excel…
Did you get your pivot table skills from your parents, who are Excel geniuses? Or are they having a screaming match about Excel, while you yell at charts? Finally completed one excel spreadsheet!! I’ve been staring at the same excel spreadsheet since 11am this morning. I’d like to try waterboarding now. My parents are Microsoft…
Instead of photocopying an Excel book, you might learn more if you read it. Try at least the first 50 pages or so. In preparation for tonight’s wedding shower, I made a spreadsheet full of pastel colors. Yes I have spent my Friday night making a spreadsheet. Judge away. "26-page" and "Excel spreadsheet" are not…
It’s Friday the 13th, so be careful. Save your Excel work frequently, so you won’t lose it all if you accidentally hit the power switch. You don’t want your dog to see you crying. I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to figure out how 10 cents disappeared on a spreadsheet. Time to go…
No, Google can’t help you with every Excel problem, but it could help you (or your secretary) find my tip on how to change those column headings from numbers to letters. when faced with a complex issue, make a spreadsheet #thingsmyparentssay I am making graphs in Excel. A new career low š Well my boss…