Category: Excel Humor

If you’re tired of churning out Excel charts, go on a relaxing vacation, but try to avoid the kebab queues – someone might try to feed you a 3-D chart!

• For some reason, now I’m the IT chick at work. I have no idea how to fix computers, but I can format your Excel spreadsheet.
• We had a fire alarm go off at work. I caused it. I was trying to work out an excel formula and my brain exploded. Sorry.
• There’s a special circle in hell reserved for people who change your formatting on a shared Excel spreadsheet. #sinful
• It’s oh-so-slightly worrisome when the professor teaching the spreadsheet class is fumbling around as though he isn’t familiar with Excel…
• Taking the time to format my Excel spreadsheet with pretty colors because my professor could use some spice in his life.
• Never select entire rows or columns when copying and pasting in Excel. Especially on a computer form the 90’s. #fml
• Just created the BEST pivot table, now to find someone who’ll appreciate it… #geek
• Husband is churning out Excel charts comparing lifetime net earnings of hypothetical sibling pairs with and without BS degrees.
• Changed my computer’s background to an excel spreadsheet. Now it always looks like I’m working, even though I have nothing open #OfficeLife
• Bored at work so it’s time to put on the Dark Knight Rises soundtrack and act like a bomb is hooked up to this excel spreadsheet.
• Doesn’t everyone make a multi-worksheet Excel spreadsheet for their vacations?
• If u claim to be bored of the world or the work u do or wtevr, try working on an excel sheet! #IbetchYa
• These ppl that "work" on empty Excel spreadsheets on the Gautrain.What exactly are u doing in the 15mins from Sandton to Midrand? :-/
• trying to show a force-directed 3D graph to a bunch of excel junkies is like trying to feed fillet mignon to a drunk in a kebab queue.
• only one in my lab that can make graph in excel. guess who just became popular?
• Before if you assume I’m an idiot and ask me if I didn’t do something right: Nope, I definitely did. It’s literally a problem with Excel.

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If it’s your birthday, should you be allowed to use Calibri font, coloured cells and default Excel charts in your reports?

• I love "code" that uses syntax and operators correctly. Excel macros are in some made up Microsoft language. I hate it!
• You know you’re ready to start work when you spent the day creating Excel spreadsheets because there really wasn’t anything else to do…
• Now boss requesting me to teach him excel functions, vlookup and how to use our coy system. Procrastinated much?
• I have three degrees, yet no earthly idea how to create an Excel spreadsheet.
• Workmates… why do you send me charts done with #Word instead of #Excel? #SomebodySaveMe
• If your report is in Calibri and you use the default graph styles from Excel I will be much, much more skeptical of your work.
• It’s my boss’s birthday today, does that mean I need to spend less time on twitter and more time on excel? #dilemma #work
• Worst part of my job part 2: looking for that single error in a huge excel spreadsheet
• I will buy someone dinner if they come over and teach me how to make graphs on excel. seriously, can’t do it. #pleasehelp!
• Just did my excel spreadsheet and calendar for my bills for the next month. Yea. I’m THAT girl…
• Powerpoint and Excel are my stable friends every day of my life. I love them :’) #ForeverAlone
• Building a spreadsheet for work. I just realized I’ve been using MS Excel for 20 years and it still sucks. And Numbers sucks worse.
• Doing the excel work for orders takes a really long time, i wish i could knit at the same time!
• Created an excel with the estimated dates and my boss found it inappropriate and he modified it by making it colorful.#Boss
• I think the minute I decided to put my movies into an excel worksheet was the moment I realized I lead a pathetic life.
• OH: "oh I’m so proud of you– what a good little pivot table!"

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If you’re too tired to filter by colour, you might as well quit for the day, before your boss starts to judge you.

• This Excel program is actually pretty cool… and smart. It just did all my work for me.
• Work: the soul sucking place that makes you wake up early and do stuff with excel
• 3 hrs of excel work down the drain after realising the person who extracted the raw data didn’t select the whole table when sorting it. F.
• I hate when Excel doesn’t want to work as fast as I do…. #DataOverload
• How do you obtain a masters degree but not know how to search an excel spreadsheet? #iworkwithidiots #nopatience
• I feel like half of my time at work is spent waiting for Excel to do what I ask it to do.
• Putting 2102 instead of 2012 for the year in an excel sheet really screws up your graph.
• My boss was totally judging me for not knowing how to use excel
• I love how Excel can compare two numbers and judge them to be unequal to each other but when it subtracts one from the other it gets zero…
• a lady at work, who works on our multi-million dollar computer system, doesn’t know how to add a column to excel and begged me to help. wtf.
• My mom is 50 years old and still doesn’t know how to make a simple excel spreadsheet..
• I like to plan my vacation outfits via excel. Are pivot tables a little excessive?
• So tired I cnt even filter by colour on my excel spreadsheet! O_o
• In response to using excel in my private practice accounting: "sometimes you have to use a spreadsheet. A napkin wont cut it."
• Excel pivot tables are the stuff of nightmares. Anything is less painful than that. Well except for getting SAP to work. Stupid dud login.
• I love using Excel, but I hate following instructions on exactly how a professor wants you to use Excel.
• Not that I am streaming Netflix to drown out my coworkers while I stare at excel graphs for hours.
• Is there a program for your computer that makes bar graphs or do I have to improvise with Excel or something?
• Each time I open Excel I start to sneeze. Allergic to charts, pivots, and autosum.

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Would a dewonker help, if your boss types the wrong data in your spreadsheet, or asks you to build a 100% stacked pyramid chart?

• Discovered the equivalence of "hard labor" for computer work: Modifying Excel reports and formatting their borders and colors.
• One day Excel will be able to work out what kind of chart will display your random selection of numbers and variables. But not today.
• I’ve had a coupe of days of spreadsheet work and now my eyes are all wonky. I need an eye dewonkerer. have you got one handy ?
• I look like I’m working but really I’m creating an excel spreadsheet ranking my favorite bars in DC.
• That moment when your boss and co-worker blame you for an error in your spreadsheet, but you realize they incorrectly typed in data.
• I’m accustomed to tech questions from people, but today I had to talk someone through an Excel spreadsheet and how to wrap text.
• Note to stupid twitter bots. People who need Excel training rarely use the hash tag #excel in their posts. #bots
• My new coworker just told me I’ll have to show him how to merge cells in Excel…I’m about to go postal! #FML
• The only thing Microsoft Excel is useful for is summing the number of times it completely screws up your day’s work.#ComputerProblems
• Just unwillingly entered "Wow wo wo wo wo wowwowwwwwwww" into a cell on an excel spreadsheet for work
• I work for the female Michael Scott. Why do I get a panic call because she can’t figure out how to scroll on an excel spreadsheet?
• #speechless my boss called my recovery plan credible, weeks ago the plan "lacked credibility", now its just formatted differently in excel!
• Had kind of forgotten how awesome pivot tables are. #Excel really is a Good Thing. (-10 to street cred).
• If you send me an Excel spreadsheet, we can’t be friends.
• Earlier, I wrote some code so terrible that if it ever becomes self-aware, it’s first act will be to hide under a blanket. #vba #excel
• Why does excel make it like rocket science to make a freaking scattered plot graph??? #frustrated
• Love those amazing moments when I accidentally do something in excel and discover a shortcut I never knew existed. #itsthelittlethings
• Just learned #Excel has a "100% stacked pyramid" chart type. Repeat after me: just because you can, doesn’t mean you should #datacrimes

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Excel has perhaps driven you to drink on occasion, but has it ever made you see everything in Greek?

• Excel is refusing to work in some very creative and (almost) humorous ways. I’m getting punk’d by Microsoft.
• The look of awe on someones face when u teach them to do a pivot table is #priceless
• Grrrr when people overwrite sum calculations on an Excel master spreadsheet that took me ages to do FFS!! #OfficeWhinge
• for once when my boss walked by I had an excel sheet up, however I was doing my personal budget.
• All right, today I take back *most* of the mean things I ever said about #Excel. I think we’ve finally come to an understanding.
• WTF: my excel spreadsheet spontaneously translating itself into Greek. Literally. If it weren’t quite so entirely unuseful I’d feel clever
• Excel I frigging HATE YOU. Wasted a whole afternoon on you stupid excel. You do NOT, in my opinion, Excel at all!!! #gottaworklatenow
• Oh MS Excel-it’s definitely you, not me! With your cryptic passive-aggressive error messages for every formula-you don’t want this to work!!
• Best feeling when you discover a new excel function – it’s like cracking a secret code
• Know this might not impress many people but I just removed 4,000 hyperlinks from an Excel spreadsheet in 10 seconds. Used to take me 15 mins
• The "Make Time.Make Tetley" campaign for 4oD – brilliant. We’re thinking of creating one for every time an Excel spreadsheet is opened
• I may or may not be on my 7th #fantasyfootball mock draft. But it’s not like I’m obsessed. Now lemme check my color-coded Excel spreadsheet.
• what time we drinking? i’m right-click deep in an epic pivot table.
• Sometimes it is sad to think that my hours of thinking and amazing ideas eventually get boiled down to an excel spreadsheet.
• The term "system" should never be used to describe a bodged up user created macro ridden excel spreadsheet #geekrant
• Ooh. I haven’t played with pivot tables in way too long. Either Excel got smarter or I forgot how much they can do!
• I think most people would be lost in the first few minutes. Working Excel is like cracking the da vinci code.
• Train to Sheffield. Man sitting next to me working on complex xls chart. Keeps muttering & swearing. Excel tourettes?

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I’m sorry, but we can’t work together in Excel. You like 100% stacked pyramid charts, and Nickelback.

• I’ve become the type of person who says things like "why is this not a pivot table? ugh!" #excel
• I’m watching a guy work with data and charts on the train. The way he moves around excel is just incredible. Majestic even. #dataenvy
• You know that feeling when you get a formula in Excel to work exactly as you want it to? Pretty good that.
• so guess what my new job is…databases, excel: pivot tables and macros. I was like a kid in a candy store…it’s sad really.
• If you’re great at making charts on Excel…you should come help me! #clueless
• Trying to make a fantasy football spreadsheet when I realize I can’t math.
• If I have to look at one more Excel Spreadsheet I think I will lose my mind. And punch a computer.
• First Sum 41, now Nickelback. Next month Avril will be engaged to an Excel spreadsheet.
• Just gotta love when you lose several hours of work in MS Excel due to "corruption". It happens more often then it should using query tables
• If you do not know how to make spreadsheets on excel then I’m sorry but we can’t work together.
• Will not let an excel spreadsheet almost reduce me to tears ever again #determined #iwilldefeatyoumaths
• I hate excel formulas, especially ones that use to work until I amended them.
• "100% Stacked Pyramid" is the most badass of the Excel chart options.
• At my sisters teaching her how to do an #excel spreadsheet… as in #formulas. She isnt taking to it as quickly as i’d like.
• I’m so pleased with myself, I just added a calculated field to a pivot table! #geekjoy
• Tried to open one spreadsheet, #Excel decided to open everything from the past 3 weeks. Arghh..
• Why did I ever think creating this table in Excel and linking it across to Word was a good idea? Oh yeah, the assignment told me to. #stupid

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A jug of wine, some Mozart, and air conditioning – the perfect ending for an exhausting day with Excel.

• I was just called over to someone’s office to help them delete a worksheet from excel. This job makes me look good.
• Excel returned a "Catastrophic failure" error today. Guess Microsoft feels that having me code VBA is considered catastrophic.
• Tomorrow I’ll be mostly making graphs on excel. Almost looking froward to it because at least the PC lab has air-con unlike the science lab.
• Dear user – No, your machine can’t handle deleting 719,205,124 spreadsheet cells from a shared workbook at the same time. #Excel #WTF
• because after a terrible night the best cure is clearly to get up at silly o’clock and go to work for a 6 hour excel training session!
• Filling out a 22 tab Excel spreadsheet all day + 45 minutes of cardio = 360 degrees of exhaustion. #boo
• Wish I knew enough about computers to write a code that’d make Excel sentient so it could see how much everyone hates it & feel real bad.
• Think my dreams tonight will be a bit like Tron. Except it’ll be an Excel spreadsheet instead of a computer game & I won’t get a cool bike.
• I asked what were doing on vacation and get a detailed excel spreadsheet, only thing missing is military time #husbands
• So I wrote some code that doesn’t make sense. Deal with it #Excel! Don’t just die!
• I swear I lose about a month of my lifespan anytime excel freezes at work.
• ***shimmies back over to jug of wine, turns up Mozart, and stares at excel spreadsheet***
• I think my job security is centered around the fact that I’m the only person here who can properly format an Excel spreadsheet…

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If you add charts to your wedding planning spreadsheet, does your heart beat faster, making it even more romantic?

• I can hack a Swiss bank account, monitor activity on the Moon, and track a cheetah. But insert a check mark in an Excel spreadsheet?
• I #heart my dad, at my moment of despair he sends a request for an excel graph and I don’t feel as useless anymore #lovelove
• today shall be spent diddling around with graphs in excel followed by a nap…just don’t tell my boss #ourlittlesecret
• This dude just moved me to the side because he thought he knew more than me on an excel spreadsheet. Ummmm…I’m the manager here.
• Changing people’s lives one pivot table at a time. Not sure who was more excited – me or them. Either way a decent Monday.
• I think I broke Excel. Apparently adding subtotals to 1800 lines was more than it could take. RIP all my hard work. Time to start again :'(
• Wedding planning has now been placed onto an Excel Spreadsheet. How romantic!
• to the frustration of my weary mind, im at work with a sniffer dog looking for an excel spreadsheet! #gaflumped
• Work tomorrow. Even Medieval monks would be horrified by the tedium of data entry in the modern world #excel #fml
• Doing graphs on excel…I feel my heart beat faster and my blood pressure shooting up. Good times. #ihateliferightnow
• My dad wants me to make him an excel spreadsheet to manage his gold intake on his Facebook pirate game. Please, someone save me.
• A week off from work, my boss has been saving all the stupid stuff just for me. EG he has produced an excel spreadsheet with no calculations
• For the record it still takes me 12 years to figure out how to set up an Excel chart correctly because the devil himself created The Ribbon.
• First Excel spreadsheet I’ve successfully created without a strong urge to smash the computer somewhere along the way. LOL
• have shown my boss the autosum function on excel, his response – that will save me some time. I’m going for an early lunch
• Just made £50 from putting numbers on an excel sheet and my boss bought me lunch as well, it’s been a good day loool
• All work has stopped and my excel spreadsheet is soley being used to calculate the run rate after each over! #bbccricket
• Argh, According to Google no one in the whole world has ever had the excel problem I am having. Great.

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Is it better if Excel turns all white, and hangs, or would you rather see a purple and yellow spreadsheet, that makes your eyes burn?

• Excel aways asks "Shift Cells Right?" Or "Shift Cells Left?" I’m just working on a spreadsheet, let’s keep politics out of it, Microsoft!
• I am pretty sure the meaning of life has something to do with fibonacci, phi, pivot tables, and excel, but I am still looking into it.
• There are 3 basic tools to find the truth in anything! Basic mathematics, Physics of the problem and Microsoft Excel from computers.
• My eyes, my eyes… This excel spreadsheet is so ugly! It needs an extreme data make over!
• Hmm, why did I name this Excel workbook tab "the horror"? *click* IT BURNS! IT BURNS! THE FORMATTING IT BURNS!!
• I have to be the only person in the world who sits on an Excel spreadsheet and manually works out all the sums because I can’t use Excel!
• I appear to have spent an unseemly amount of time with spreadsheets in recent weeks. My Mum would be proud as she loves a pivot table.
• Sometimes when I listen to ‘born to run’ while working on an excel spreadsheet, it inspires me to use purple instead of yellow. #rebel
• That thing where Excel turns all white and just hangs for five mins on the spreadsheet you’ve been working on for six hours. #ohnoes
• #OverheardAtWork: "It’s like a stop light in the wrong order." (while looking at a quite colorful Excel worksheet)
• 3D rotation in Excel charts. You know, to see if there is anybody hiding behind the charts.
• That moment when you realise you inserted a row into an excel spreadsheet but only for 1 column… #epicfail 🙁
• You’re as good as the multitude of Excel sheets with labyrinthine data and silly pie charts you are able to dish out. Like a machine. #Fact
• I’m making a grad school spreadsheet in an attempt to be organized. Unfortunately, I’m awful at Excel and it’s just more confusing.
• You know when you apologize to your excel spreadsheet and it’s like silly me! No? Shoot myself now? Ok.
• Making graphs in excel 2010 is the most frustrating experience ever. I’ve spent 20 mins searching for the ‘axis labels’ tab #grrr
• Saw my brother make an super complex worksheet on excel. And when trying to print he accidently closed the program with "dont save". #hahaha
• Voilà! Pushed some buttons on the mighty #Excel, and a fully-loaded #Pivot table just popped out in my face. #WinMomentOfTheDay

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If your day wasn’t Excel Lent, work off your frustration with an exploding pie chart. And don’t bore your spouse with the pivot table details when you get home.

• 5 excel sheets. 10 min. 8 million brownie points with the boss. Thank you 7th grade for teaching me the "sum" function #n00bz
• Note to self: always save your work in case the bloody Excel crashes. #fml
• Never thought that maintaining a Sports League Forum would make me fall in love with Microsoft Excel, yes you heard it right !! #Guilty
• In honor of how much it’s helped me, I will name my first born after my hero. He/she will be called Pivot Table, and they will be beautiful.
• Spending the second half of my day brushing up on Excel. These are the work days dreams are made of.
• 5 more lines in this spreadsheet and then I get to have Twitter’s favourite drink which appears to be g&t.
• just told my boss that Excel’s last name is Lent! He said get back to work.
• If you really wanna piss off your co-workers that work with formulas in Excel, highlight the whole page and format it as "Text".
• I suspect someone was not having a fun day when they set up this spreadsheet. Pardon the language, but I did laugh.
• Omg I’m dying here. Death by Excel spreadsheets and asset management. Kill me now. Or give me a drink. Either one #work
• Husband: Blah, blah, I filtered it down and ran a pivot table, blah, blah… Me: o_O
• Dad is slowly turning every aspect of my life into an excel spreadsheet. So far the results are i’m skint and have no time to rectify that.
• you guys have no idea how mad i get when a pivot table doesn’t work properly. no really, ~99% of you have no idea what i’m talking about.
• Ha! We’ve had interesting times together. Very Dr. Strangelove "ish" How I learned to stop worrying and love Excel
• Tonight in work I’m making a excel spreadsheet whilst drinking tea #waitressadventures
• A column chart from a firm that actually does Excel training. And yes, they have lots of exploding 3D pie charts too http://t.co/SMPAvXaX
• My eyes simply refuse to read text if it is inside an excel spreadsheet.
• learning stuff in excel that wouldve been great to know on the first day of work, on the almost last day of work

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Yes, using Excel can turn you into an adult – an adult who makes very bad basketball jokes.

• Slouching towards adulthood with one hand in a fist and the other editing a spreadsheet.
• My manager doesn’t understand Excel. So everytime I make him a spreadsheet in under 2 minutes he thinks I’m a freaking genius.
• Delegated spreadsheet work out. I consider that victory over Excel.
• Never, EVER make graphs in Excel. That is all.
• Happy thoughts before going to bed so I won’t dream of excel sheets, dynamic graphs & US dollars. Stubborn bain, stop thinking about work!!!
• How many of yous dads asks you for excel spreadsheet before you get money?
• Just made the sickest Excel graph ever. Only took me about 2 hrs. #excelpro
• It is after midnight, but I feel confident that all pivot table should now kneel before me.
• Wife asked me, "What the heck did you do to mess up this pivot table?!" All I could say was, "I KNOW I didn’t travel!" Basketball ? Excel
• I usually invite my parents to my room in the basement and show them a powerpoint full of excel graphs.
• Attempting to draw a graph on excel and failing miserably for hours. Thank god for youtube! #hateexcel #failinguniwithoutyoutube
• I used vLookup and pivot table without any ones help! #ImportantMilestoneInMyLife
• Experienced a new feeling today. Losing two days worth of excel work anger disappointment and an eagerness to drink.
• It’s 11:41 PM and I’m currently writing a VBA macro in excel to save me an hour every day at work. Sad part is it’s all me, boss doesnt care
• one thing this job has taught me is that if you give me numbers of any sort i will make you a pie chart on excel.
• dear brain, why did you make a fool of me by causing me to not notice a simple spelling mistake in my code for a new macro in excel i wrote?
• Oh oh, power of going out…save, save, save, SAVE…MY SPREADSHEET…
• I just made an excel spreadsheet for a fantasy draft. Beginning of the end of my childhood

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Try to avoid sacrificing any Excel files today, especially if you’re organizing the next Olympics in that spreadsheet.

• Asking my dad how much hamburger I should buy for a barbecue inevitably leads to intense number crunching and complicated Excel charts.
• Is it possible to hide a whole spreadsheet accidentally? Or is that my Excel sacrifice for the year? #oops
• My new work PC also has Windows 7 and can handle moderately complex Excel functions without dying. This is the best day 😀
• Amazing how much anxiety can be derived from an Excel spreadsheet.
• I’ve been doing the wrong spreadsheet for the past 3 days -____-
• Signs you’ve outgrown Excel: your workbook takes over an hour to calculate and save.
• I’ve been so fortunate to lose myself by traveling the world. But ive never felt more lost than when face to face with an Excel spreadsheet.
• I feel like I secret agent when I get to work on password protected excel worksheets at work
• Having organised a conference or two myself, I’d like to have seen the excel spreadsheet which planned the Olympics.
• I just spent an hour formatting an Excel spreadsheet in order to make 10 minutes worth of work a little easier. #iamsosmrt
• there’s something wrong about a day that starts and ends with an excel spreadsheet #8to11workday #beastmode
• I wish my work laptop had at least Excel 2007 so I could make less Paint-looking pie charts
• Tutorial on how to parse spreadsheet describes the instructions for Excel and Lotus. Yeah, it’s old.
• Quote of the day: (Said to me) "You think like an Excel spreadsheet."
• I think I have broken the back of this spreadsheet. almost organised.
• On the road for 4 hours, what should I do? Obviously, plan out an excel spreadsheet I’m going to make when I get home.
• Three people sitting opposite me are building an Excel workbook by committee. It’s everything you would imagine that process would be.

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Is it even possible to love Excel too much? Strangers on a crowded bus, on the other hand, aren’t usually so appealing.

• Someone pinch me — I just helped a coworker with an Excel problem. Me! Excel!
• I’d love to help you with this. First though, what is an "Excel file" and how do you "format" one?
• A huge excel spreadsheet with NFL and college team names on it? Not a bad way to ride out a thunderstorm.
• Making logos in excel at work, because I’m that damn good. #workneedbettertools
• I miss the days when making bar graphs on excel was really extending myself.
• To the idiot who keeps deleting the formulas on excel spreadsheet therefore making me do maths…. I hate you.
• There’s no love between me and Excel. On the best of days, we are like strangers reluctantly pressed against each other on a crowded bus.
• Who knew Microsoft excel could still surprise me…well done area charts, well done #intelligentnerd
• I think its safe to say you’re a little bit wrapped up in your work when you start dreaming in excel spreadsheets… -_-
• Best requirement for a job I’ve ever seen. "you love Excel, maybe a little too much! " #itsfunnybecauseitstrue
• Just got to AI column in Excel and felt like a badass. Does this mean my spreadsheet is self-aware now?
• "I’m not taking a bubble bath. I’m trying to make a chart!" -Becky, struggling with Excel
• Day 1. Cleaning rota for the flat. Designed a fancy spreadsheet on excel… Looks lovely… That’ll do for today.. Not a good start Ben.. :/
• There’s something strangely gratifying about getting a Conditional Formatting rule to work properly in Excel.
• If I have to open one more excel spreadsheet and try and calculate a rate I’m gonna jet-pack myself out of this building.
• if yu work with numbers , eight hours a day , take advantage of excel ! excel is like my "EASY" button .
• I’m closing this Excel spreadsheet. I’m done. I ain’t working one more minute on this thing, man.

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Pivot tables can help you work with exponential efficiency, and slay dragons, but please take time to drink and breathe. Ice cream and peanut butter cookies will help too.

• Actually used a pivot table at work today which is 1 more time than I ever thought I would use it in the real world
• Sent an email to boss which included the phrase; "Doing spreadsheets *is* a holiday!" There wasn’t even a hint of irony.
• dont get me wrong, i love numbers but this spreadsheet is making me dizzy
• I consider myself a pretty decent software engineer, but I’ll be DAMNED if I can make excel spit out a half way coherent line chart.
• I’ve never met a pivot table that I didn’t like.
• Just had to create a pivot table on an item titled "HARDNESS". The all caps really made my mind think inappropriately.
• Twice today I’ve used my pivot table sword to slay the spreadsheet dragon in the combative arena that is Microsoft Excel. Have it.
• Would love to be sat outside eating ice cream and sunbathing. Instead, I’m in excel hell where no formula can hear you scream…
• OMG! Boss just asked me how to print from Excel…really? Drink, drink and breath.
• Afternoon fun with #excel and pivot tables. Spent hours getting started then exponential efficiency! #PhD #phdchat
• Is it possible to burn Excel at the stake? Because it should be sentenced for high crimes of treasonous pivot tables. #OfficeRage
• I’m getting really tired of people who make twice my salary but are unable to format a spreadsheet in Excel! How did you get a job?!?!
• I’m just not a pivot table kinda chick.
• I sure hope that, when I die, people remember me for my deeds. "Man, that guy sure did work on a lot of Excel spreadsheets."
• Important safety tip: always make sure your pivot table includes ALL the data in your master document. #excelhorrorstory
• Just made a multilayer, formula column, data filtered pivot tabled excel spreadsheet. Boss gave me a peanut butter cookie from the co op.
• I need an Excel spreadsheet for my life. And a Moneypenny
• Putting two completely unrelated items into a pie chart suggests you’re just a monkey banging randomly at Excel. Who likes Mars.

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After a day of looking for an Excel needle in the haystack, try rolling your calves on a pivot table, while you relax.

• I’ll write you a love song – me to my guy. "I’ll make you a spreadsheet in Microsoft Excel." – my guy to me. Smh. #romance
• This excel spreadsheet is looking at me awkwardly , can someone tell it to stop #goingmad
• you know and love Microsoft excel in a job description cancels me out as a potential candidate IMMEDIATELY
• Did Bane use an Excel spreadsheet to determine the length of the bomb?
• Dear @Microsoft Excel: Why did you wait until today to decide throw stupid errors about too much formatting? I have work to do.
• Just seen someone using pivot tables in Excel for the first time. Mind. Blown.
• Best thing about working in a #Physicaltherapy office…being able to foam roll my calves while battling excel pivot tables.
• Trying to find the formula error in a spreadsheet …like looking for a needle in a haystack.
• About to spend a meeting free afternoon with an excel pivot table. Admit it you are not jealous.
• I love #excel pivot tables, does that make me nerdy?
• office chillin…bagel, smoothie….and an excel spreadsheet
• I’ve started having dreams about Excel pivot charts. Sexy ones. That’s bad, right? #helpme
• helping a co-worker with an #excel spreadsheet consists of spotting his elbow angle and making encouraging comments
• Do you remember when a 1 meg excel spreadsheet was HUUUUUGE! #iamold
• The answer is to never, ever merge cells in Excel. It’s one of my Golden Rules of spreadsheet design
• May or may not have just had 2 Long Island Ice Teas at lunch. HAHAHAHAAH EXCEL SPREADSHEET REPORTS ARE FUNNY.
• Finally combined all my cocktail cheat sheets into one excel spreadsheet, #Hero
• Just used a pivot table to save myself time and effort. Using time saved to tweet that I’m probably the excel spreadsheet version of Mozart.

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If you want to get back to that happy place, after working in Excel, try some chocolate, or a short nap on the futon.

• There was a time I didn’t even know what a pivot table was. A happy time.
• Working on a spreadsheet for 3 hours and then being told it has already been done <<
• dlded a bunch of excel games to keep myself entertained at work
• i refuse to use Excel’s default line and marker colors on my charts ‘cause i’m a badass… #spreadsheetswag
• It would appear I’m an Analytical Excel Geek….. Just showed the wife how to create a chart using a set of random data #thenightsjustflyby
• I love this lecturer. I can understand him compared to the other one. Or maybe Microsoft Access is a bit easy than Excel?
• whenever i hear the words "pivot table," i try to make sure i have at least 1 foot on the ground so i don’t get called for traveling
• Hi, I’m Sammy and I plan out which t-shirts to wear in 30-day-stints. I plan it out on Microsoft excel and colour code it.
• I bet what I need is a pivot table, but I need someone to explain it to me in #realtalk
• Spent the last 2 hrs on an Excel spreadsheet. Computer froze. Everything lost. I need chocolate.
• Working on a script about a cash register and a futon who time-travel to create a spreadsheet. It’s called: Till and Bed’s Excel Adventure.
• Attempting to do conditional formatting in excel… It used to work, so Microsoft decided to make it less functional in 2010. Ace.
• Creating an excel spreadsheet with a bunch of competition entrants is like the Captcha game – times 1000 #sigh
• My new Analytics dashboard is ridiculously sweet. Next trick – pivot table template for Excel. I will claim my life back from data.
• this earthquake has reminded me that I still need to make my spreadsheet survival supplies I still need to get…
• I made an excel spreadsheet with the grading formulas for my calc class so I get credit by doing the least amount of work possible…
• ask me to do a pivot table… easy-peasy. Ask me about function keys – maybe not!! Is there anyone who knows EVERYTHING about Excel?
• 7.5 hours solid working on the same spreadsheet today…I am covered in excel right now

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If your brain is too frazzled, you won’t be able decide if food is more important than Excel. And why do shopping carts and office buildings look like spreadsheets?

• For a simple tool it’s amazing the carnage you can cause when you send the wrong Excel spreadsheet out #cockup #biblicalscale #sadpanda
• I’ll stab myself with a compass if Pat comes up with an Excel spreadsheet for Olympic diving. Does that count?
• I feel not fully understanding how to work excel will mess me up in the work world.
• Round two with Microsoft Excel. *Ding ding* I will not be bested by a spreadsheet!! Take that countif formulae!
• Ack. Just accidentally opened Excel and was traumatized by a spreadsheet. I wasn’t ready to see one of those today. #excelphobia #fb
• I should focus on what i’ll be eating later. that’s more important than this spreadsheet. FOOD OVER EXCEL
• Nothing diminishes creativity as quickly as an Excel spreadsheet.
• Each time i hear of amazing things happening at ExCeL in the Olympics, i take pride in the sterling work i’ve done on this Excel spreadsheet
• Was supposed to go the gym, but had way too much fun writing VBA code for Excel. Clearly, still a geek at heart.
• A soft gasp echoed through the lecture room as the graph appeared on excel.
• Son put together Excel spreadsheet for movie times-wants to take girl & I am the driver. He calls it planning skills#canihandlethenerdiness?
• Spent 2 hours with I.T. bc excel won’t sort my spreadsheet. Their conclusion : "maybe you need less data in the worksheet"…..deep breaths
• Frustrated by the number of pie charts and statistically incorrect corporate Excel charts. Why don’t they teach #Tufte on MBA programs?
• If my day had a title it would be: Dr. Strangereport or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Pivot Table
• Somedays I feel like I’ve been shoved into an Excel spreadsheet & slapped around to be a part of some formula. I’m not just data! 😉
• Some colors do not belong on an excel spreadsheet #blind
• Making an excel spreadsheet to make stock checks less tedious is also proving tedious….
• Brain frazzled after scouring someone else’s spreadsheet for hours for a value that was out by £1 and was mucking up my end of year reports.
• A simple, but a lengthy Excel formula saved more than one and a half days of my work. Now I can hurdle all day!!!! 😀
• Tonights Olympics Boxing is in the Excel. Last time I checked the building looked like one big spreadsheet. #London2012

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If you’re going to dream about pivot tables, make sure you get them working right, and give yourself a few stars when you finish them.

• I’d like to see any of these so-called Olympians do a VLOOKUP or manage a pivot table.
• #LearnedInGradSchool An Excel spreadsheet brings clarity to any situation. For example, today I learned just how far in debt I am.
• Best pickup line of the night: "I am kind of a nerd…I love working with excel" #swag
• Bore at work again. I made an excel sheet with the green flag times for the rest of the NASCAR season. Tired of missing the start of races.
• Don’t know how I go into a habit of checking Sheet2 and Sheet3 for any stuff, first thing whenever I open an excel workbook.
• Financial modeling and planning in Excel…. like a boss! A nerdy, detail-obsessed, macro-using boss.
• I can’t believe that in Office2013 you still can’t allow more than one user to edit an Excel spreadsheet at once. Where’s the collaboration?
• I love MS Excel and I truly believe it should be taught as early as elementary school.
• Last night’s dream was courtesy of MS Excel: This time it was of pivot tables. All of them WRONG. I couldn’t even extract data in my sleep!
• my flaw of life: Excel. I absolutely cannot work with that program. too many empty boxes that confuse me -_-
• strangely my pivot table here indicates spreadsheet tweets get very few stars.
• The main reason i turn on my laptop nowadays is not to go to youtube or social networking sites. ITS TO FREAKING DO THE STUPID EXCEL PROJ.
• This week, I taught myself to make pie charts in excel. What can I graph for you? #dork
• Tryna do an excel spreadsheet drunk… #NotPlausible
• When I was small I love to read, draw and sleep inside the bookshop. Today… I can only sleep with MS Excel.
• Work has finally got the better of me… All I dreamt about last night was work, excel spreadsheets and vlookups.
• Husband No 1 believes the Excel arena in London is named after a spreadsheet. #helpme

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If someone leaves an Excel training brochure on your office chair today, just ignore it. You’re only having trouble because the coffee isn’t working.

• If they had an Excel spreadsheet pivot table making competition, I might watch more. #London2012
• Just spent way too long making up an Excel workbook for budgeting throughout the year. I better use it…
• Came back to work & found someone had put brochure for Excel training course on my chair. I get the hint. 🙂
• The way I’ve actually done no work today is a disgrace, I’ve literally sat with excel open making colourful patterns with highlighters.
• Who else gets excited when vba code finally works?!?!? #excel #vba #8000rowsofdata
• To the dude who invented charts in Excel, I hate you. And also, you suck.
• coffee aint’ working today…might have something to do with the fact i was staring into a spreadsheet until 3.30am….
• Excel spreadsheet?! Dude, you have the power to woo and you didn’t even realise it. Ladies love Excel spreadsheets!
• If you treat Excel spreadsheets like it’s 1984, it’s time to retire. The formulas will do the work for you (better yet… use a database).
• I just realized Excel is my master tool at work. 1st thing I use and work with during the whole day, regardless of the task #myfacts
• The new girl at work is in love with me she asked me if she’s doing her excel spreadsheet right…hey you’re cute too
• I just lost some data from my Excel Spreadsheet. I have no idea how this happen. Evidently with Excel all things are possible.
• An excel spreadsheet, John Coltrane, and a cup of coffee is what my morning consists of.
• I was just complimented on my very organized and neat Excel spreadsheet. It’s a good day.
• Excel’s flash fill feature is ridonkulous. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I can’t wait to use that spreadsheet program.
• I must be doing something awesome with this spreadsheet because I keep crashing Excel.
• I am working on inventing an excel spreadsheet that talks to the user. But everything it says sounds so calculated.

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This weekend, get out of that gloomy, grey science building for a few hours, and do something that you enjoy. Pivot tables are fun, right? Or you could watch some of the Olympics.

• If you’re bored at work, NEVER tell your boss. Always keep Excel open and pretend you’re working. #LifeLessons
• Work needs to be over ASAP.. All of these excel sheets and new people are killing me!! #INeedADrink
• apologies to anyone who has ever come in contact with me. i have added your e-mail to an excel spreadsheet
• Today is giant spreadsheet day. I’m up to 82 columns across and 305 rows down on this simulation – and I’m not done yet!
• Data overload combined with carb heavy lunch have led to severe afternoon dip. Please no more excel or pivot tables!
• Teaching old people how to use Excel and their iPhones makes up about 75% of my work day.
• I don’t want to work 5 days a week, 9 till 5 sat at a computer on Microsoft excel, I want to be doing something I enjoy
• Hello "Summarize With Pivot Table" in Excel. I never realized you were there. Looks like we’ll be good friends from here on out.
• Excel, you’ve been calculating the cells for about 10 minutes now. My spreadsheet isn’t that massive. Get a move on.
• I just saved a million hours of work using excel to copy/paste code! GENIUS
• Please tell me what the point of coloured sheet tabs are in an Excel spreadsheet?
• The self confessed most optimistic tech loving person at work is always incredibly negative and thinks excel is the answer to everything.
• So is ‘Excelling’ a new olympic sport? Fastest athlete to create a pivot-table and pie-chart wins?
• My boss just added ‘switch windows’ button to my tool bar, like I’m a dummy. Ctrl + tab switches between excel sheets. I’m actually offended
• I showed my wife my pivot-table analysis of my Pinterest activity. She looked at me like I was a science experiment gone wrong.
• #Google has helped me learn more #Excel functions this morning than I ever thought possible. Love it.
• I dreamt that I did the complicated excel equation for work and everytime I got the answer right the alarm clock rang.
• Taking a victory lap for building not 1 but 2 graphs by myself in newest version of excel!
• Wish I was home watching the Olympics instead of in a gloomy gray science building staring at a Microsoft Excel worksheet…

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Yes, Excel is the only thing that could make the happiest place on earth even happier. Now polish your halo, and click Refresh.

• Am I the only one who wishes their iPhone had excel so I could acess my Disney planning spreadsheet on the go?
• I just made a spreadsheet. Feel a little bit dirty. (But organised.)
• I hate colorful Excel spreadsheets. People finding excuses to use pastel color fills. It’s a spreadsheet, not a coloring book damnit.
• I don’t love excel, I love the fact that I mastered it. Nuance!
• when I graduated, I didn’t expect that my work would involve endless sheets of Excel.
• After 30 hours of creating a massive excel spreadsheet may have to take off the rest of august til tour starts. Wooks and macros don’t mix
• Managed two hours of spreadsheet work. Just going to polish my halo for a bit then go to bed…
• work today is hitting refresh in excel whenever I hear the bosses footsteps
• I was just looking at my art inventory spreadsheet in excel & thinking "If there was a fire and I could only save 1 file – this would be it"
• Ma’s just said ‘I knew I sent you to Uni for something’ haha, yeah the degree part means nothing as long as I can work excel!!
• trying new formulas in excel and having them actually work on the first try #stoked #nerdalert
• OH at work: "I have spent all day making love to an Excel spreadsheet, and now my brain hurts." #nothealthy
• Its amazing how much time one can spend on an excel spreadsheet, I need to see regular people now before I lose my mind.
• Important: I have gutted & packed the house single-handedly but my husb drafted & sent me an Excel spreadsheet of his road trip. #men
• Your mom is AWESOME. I work with Excel spreadsheets everyday and this is the first time I’ve been HAPPY to see one, haha!
• Finished working on an Microsoft excel document and my stupid mouse double click on exit, erasing all my work. No bronze medal for me.
• I love Excel – it’s so good at predicting Olympic gymnastics results.
• Fun trick! If you stare at a MASSIVE excel spreadsheet long enough you can actually start to see your tears hitting the keyboard.

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Keep manipulating those all singing all dancing Excel worksheets. It might not be an Olympic event, but the hugs and giggles make it enjoyable.

• This is it. Today is the day. I am working on #excel not because I have to but because it IS easier. #Yay! #geek #work #ihavearrived
• Highlight of my day someone has changed may to montecristo so in the pivot table it says count of montecristo #spreadsheetlols
• Developing a new spreadsheet and becoming increasingly excited with each new column added #nerd
• I just typed the longest condition formula in my life for excel, stupid mind can’t shorten formulas =\
• Struggled with excel for 30 minutes before realizing the stupid mistake I had been making over and over.. Cool
• Is it wrong that I am already working on manipulating my boss into upgrading to @office 2013? #excel addict.
• You know what I love? Excel. And Macros. LOVE ME SOME MACROS #not #hateit
• People laughing their arse off about a excel spreadsheet based joke. I’m in the wrong room #picturesnotnumbers
• Microsoft Excel is such a stupid program…I’d rather do this by hand cause I know what I’m doing then
• Excel worksheet manipulation #RejectedOlympicEvents
• Want to make a new Excel graph for most common words used in twitter handles ("musing", "paradox", "Freud") and compare for the two sexes.
• I chose the worst possible graph in Excel and giggled like I was watching Bugs Bunny when it popped up. #AlsoHelp
• working with excel when the ac aint on….thats about all the hard work it fellows ever do….
• It was really stupid to put the "save" button right under the "close" button on excel for people like me who will accidentally click close.
• Just designed all singing all dancing excel spreadsheet for client’s invoicing/stock taking needs, brain now aches but feeling very chuffed
• I’d like today to be over now please. No such luck. I now have to look at an Excel spreadsheet with over 100 tabs 🙁
• I just made my first pivot table! It’s like giving my data a hug.

____________________

Olympic fever is everywhere, even in our spreadsheets. What office sport do you Excel at? Stapler throwing? Pie charting?

• Has anybody ever been helped by a terrible looking excel chart? Can I just stop making these now?
• I luv when my boss has an Excel question & the answer’s really easy but he’s so impressed I know it. makes me feel wicked smaht.
• when i make a really great spreadsheet i say ‘excel-lent’ to congratulate myself x
• Dad made me make an excel spreadsheet of estimated costs for college.. He’s reading it with this face: ….why? #engineer #nerdydad
• Descended the spreadsheet mountain with nary a scratch. I win at Mondays!
• At the office Olympics I’ll be Throwing the stapler, trying my hand at pivot-table tennis, and Weightshifting as I wait for the copier.
• Unsuccessfully battled a Spreadsheet for 1 hour with OpenOffice and GDocs. Broke down and installed Excel, worked in 2 minutes…
• Creating a multi-coloured Excel spreadsheet for my new work ‘Changing Stations’ – 11 pieces for piano based on the #LondonUnderground #GEEK
• Everytime when I have a problem in #Excel, #Google offers me the solution than the #Microsoft #ExcelHelp 😉 #fb
• Forget the Olympics, I’m about to do something very special with a spreadsheet. *limbers up*
• A boss who doesn’t get the formula right on an excel sheet blames Microsoft for making a bad software.
• Fine, keep your Excel-generated pie charts, I give up.
• I wonder if the president of the Olympics has like a giant Excel spreadsheet of all the countries just so he doesn’t forget to invite anyone
• sucks getting paid by the hour to do Excel work…so damn efficient makes me get paid so much less…need to price myself better
• Take the Olympic spirit into work. Your bus pass is a baton! Your Excel spreadsheet is a judo mat! Your three hour meeting is a marathon!
• Come to think of it, I was just hating on the graphs because they were Excel. They express everything they need to express
• Multitasking between the live stream of the Olympics and my Excel spreadsheet at work. #BestInternAward
• All I want is for someone to play Star-Spangled Banner after I create a really complex pivot table.

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It’ll be a busy couple of weeks, if you’re trying to work in Excel while you watch the Olympics. And remember to eat a sandwich occasionally, to keep your strength up.

• That’s it, I’ve just won at life — and, by "life," I mean "Excel charts." #researchassistantlife
• Oh Excel spreadsheet. They could write a sitcom about our love/hate relationship.
• Today, I managed to fool an #Excel spreadsheet, pretending I knew how to sort values. #smokeandmirrorswork #mydayjob
• is enjoyin’ his coffee after sleepin’ under a spreadsheet.
• My mom has gotten ahold of my checkbook and my excel budget worksheet. Things are looking up.
• Percentage packed: 0 However, I have made an Excel spreadsheet of everything I need. #ilovelists
• Need to come up with an Olympics viewing gameplan. Might have to break out the excel spreadsheet
• I love discovering new tricks in Excel #MyAdultLifeSucks
• excel has all those powerful but useless function built in…but some daily stuff it just can’t handle without writing tons of code.
• Highly skilled in the work art of eating a sandwich w/ one hand and typing w/ the other. This excel spreadsheet brought to you by a BLT.
• Everyday, people get up & do things they don’t want to do. For example: right now I would love to be napping. Instead I am staring at Excel.
• Last one left in the office. Sat staring at an excel spreadsheet like a zombie trying to input stupid stats…. #FML
• I just hate when things don’t go as planned, I’m an excel spreadsheet kinda gyrl #mildlyOCD
• This bar has made an effort to clean off its toilet graffiti over the years. But the best still remains about Excel pivot tables.
• Who’s the boss NOW, Excel spreadsheet?! Yeah, that’s right. Every one of you, stubborn little cells, bow to me in awe! #LittleVictories
• GUYS, did you know listening to the Inception soundtrack while you work in Excel AUTOMATICALLY MAKES YOUR SPREADSHEET EPIC?
• Finding the most inappropriate graph to display data in is Excel’s easter egg. 1 axis of co.s, 3 series of values – YEAH, RADAR GRAPH, BUDDY
• Excel is making me cry. Why do they make the graphs so confusing? Wehhh
• I’m at my office with a spreadsheet open listening to Alanis Morissette. Before you ask, everything’s fine.

____________________

An instruction book for Excel? Surely it hasn’t come to that! Just stare at it for another couple of hours, and it will all make sense.

• Hey people really good at Excel, what is that one formula that populates the past 3 weeks of work I didn’t do into these cells?
• Nooo just spent an hour on a spreadsheet then deleted the wrong tab!!!!! Arghhhh #baddayintheoffoce!!!
• After a month of format-change problems sharing an excel workbook, I finally wondered if there’s a setting and looked it up. #notarealgeek
• Every time I want to call my MS Excel book stupid, I hear Purple in my head; "It’s not stupid, IT’S ADVAAAANCED!" #InvaderZim
• A cell is the basic building block of life, in Microsoft Excel a cell is the basic building block of a worksheet..
• Crushin’ some late night Excel work while listening to some hip hop—too bad there aren’t some spreadsheet-based rhymes I can relate to…
• Think I need the instruction book for excel 2010… They’ve hidden everything in stupid places…
• So does it make me a big nerd to be really really excited that I figured out how to make an excel spreadsheet do exactly what I wanted?
• Yeh sorry, I actually can’t re-code MS Excel so it can take worksheets large enough for the report you’re trying to run
• Pretty sure today’s work in Access & Excel was illegal.
• I just got hazed for building an Excel worksheet by my sales peeps. And yes… Excel works on a Mac.
• This 1.5 hours of this work day has consisted of me staring at an excel spreadsheet straight awful
• Since when did Excel Charts become infographics?
• Brain fried on numbers. Excel spreadsheet pivot table vlookup overkill.
• It bothers the hell out of me that I cannot use a forward slash on Excel workbook tabs.
• My mom just called me 2 request that I create an EXCEL SPREADSHEET of all the things C’s gonna need 4 college, by store section. LMAO! Ok 🙂
• IU mathematics department manages to calculate the final digit of Pi; forgets to hit SAVE on their Excel chart. #CBNMath

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While your creative mind is busy with number crunching today, remember to save your Excel file occasionally.

• That absolutely horrible moment when you realize you made a typo in a formula…on 60 different worksheets. #excel #excelproblems #fml
• I just love it when I discover a simple formula for something I’ve already spent 30 minutes manually doing in Excel. Lololol going home now.
• Apparently there was dumbdumb juice in my coffee this AM. I cant make a pie chart in excel all of a sudden #feellikeatool
• i know i’ve hit rock bottom of #NerdLand when i’m making an excel spreadsheet for a weekend at wasaga
• I repeat, most creative minds today are either doing some number crunching in excel spreadsheets or fixing NullPointerExceptions in code.
• Nobody will ever understand the joy I just had colour coding my spreadsheet, work is that boring today.
• Excel spreadsheet not playing ball. Been watching spinny wheel of doom so long that I’ve written it a little song…
• People. #tableau is NOT an ‘Excel worksheet replicator’! Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
• It has been a while since I killed an excel workbook with data… Hope this doesn’t result in a crash – haven’t saved in a while
• Someone’s done exactly the wrong thing on a spreadsheet at work, just like that bit in Die Hard where they shoot out the lights. Stupid.
• Oh good. Excel is showing me my place in the intellectual world by making me struggle to create a pie chart. #dumbass
• Whoa, Microsoft Excel. What the hell are you doing open? Go back to the spreadsheet hell whence you came! #YOUSHALLNOTPASS
• Today I took advantage of the sunny weather and learned how to make a "pie within a pie" chart in #Excel – #rocknroll
• One of the templates Excel has is a ‘Tinkle Potty Chart’ #JustStartedOne
• I have the day off work! (but it’s for an all-day Excel Workshop) #betyouwerejealous #foroneminute
• I love Excel. When every other fancy arse integrated latest upgraded version of corporate app fails me, it’s still there.
• I have opened an excel work book to work on "#management stuff", may god have mercy on my #developer soul.
• Putting a letter in the very last box of excel so when my boss prints it will print 12000 pages #winning

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Pink spreadsheets might be perfect for your Excel wedding plan files, but not for business reports. People will think that you’ve been smoking something!

• everyone that I work with makes the most boring excel sheets all of mine are color coded in all different shades of pink.
• You know you’re an industrial engineer when you have an excel spreadsheet managing each part of your life.
• Seeing a middle aged man playing angry birds next to a guy on excel on the train in to work is a strange sight.
• 90% of the time I spend at work is spent scrolling through an excel spreadsheet pretending I’m actually doing something with it.
• Attempting to work with pivot tables in excel. This is not as simple as I figured it would be.
• Few things are more hideous than a poorly designed, brightly coloured Excel spreadsheet. #myeyes #thegogglesdonothing
• I was going to ask your advice on an excel spreadsheet I’m having trouble with…and then I remembered. Twitter.
• the thought of making graphs using excel instantly makes me want to fall asleep #boring #dissertationhell
• make a pretty spreadsheet like you usually do. – my boss
• What I’ve learned in this class thus far… Excel does most of the work
• I may be underutilized, but I’m not unproductive!! Been working on building an entire spreadsheet of fake data to practice macros writing.
• *rolls up an excel spreadsheet and smokes it* I’m high on data
• Excel keeps telling me my worksheet has too much data for it to load. Isn’t this the point of excel???
• Love that my fiance is proficient in Excel 😛 #weddingplanning
• I shouldn’t be allowed to use excel at work. I just have competitions with myself at how fast I can delete whole columns of digits..
• Screw you Microsoft excel…..work the way I want you to work… #msoffice
• My pivot table is BROKEN. Commence with weeping while I try to figure out where.
• I am trying to make a pivot table. Can you smell the smoke?

_________________

Can you get a pivot table at Ikea, or do you have to go to the edge of the universe, and beyond? Every Excel genius should be able to answer that question.

• Had breakfast with a statistician; lost subsequent six hours in Excel seeing if my course evals look better as piecharts or bar graphs.
• #imt122 Had some fun trying on some excel charts. Discovered columns just suit me best .
• Been trying to make Excel work. Realise reading Mills & Boon during much of GCSE maths may have been an error.
• Feeling inspired to write today but need to finish off some office work. Creativity will have to wait. Although I may play with Excel graphs
• Am going through the Guardian’s Olympic guide line by line. With a pen and an excel spreadsheet. #2012OCD
• I need someone who can do excel graphs. Now.
• Welcome back to the work week! First awesome discovery: Excel 2013 finally allows spreadsheets in separate windows\monitors #TheLittleThings
• Just call me an excel genius now. I am mastering sums right now and making this spreadsheet do outrageously intelligent things, oh yeaaah.
• Want to see beyond the edge of the Universe? Simple. Scroll right to column IV on an Excel spreadsheet and then scroll right some more
• Right its time for round 1 of Cheryl versus graphs on excel!
• I’m hilarious. No, seriously, I have a graph, an excel sheet, and an hour long PowerPoint illustrating this universal truth.
• Dude at my sister’s work: (opened up microsoft excel) "How d’you get rid of the boxes to write normally?" Sis: "Erm, open up microsoft word"
• Just made my first ever graph on excel I AM THE GOD OF ALL GODS
• my index finger is feeling a bit odd. Too much copying and pasting in excel on this stupid laptop with no mouse !!
• Difference from me having "Manager" in my Job title (as opposed to "peon") is "Too many Dicks (On the Dancefloor)" blasts during Excel work
• WHAT ON EARTH IS A PIVOT TABLE? and why can’t i get it from ikea???
• In work for 90 mins. 8 charts completed. A monkey with a PC could do better. A stupid monkey. On Excel 2003. While writing shakespeare

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Working successfully in Excel requires a delicate balance of latte, Mountain Dew and chart fumes. But be careful, some charts create a surplus of fumes!

• Accidentally hid an excel workbook and thought I had lost it- -who came up with such a feature?!?! #terrifying
• Intern candidate sent in her resume in an Excel spreadsheet…as my grandma would say, bless her heart!
• I do my best acting when I shake my head and sigh at the spreadsheet I’m pretending to work on as my boss approaches.
• I think today will require a Twinkie and Mountain Dew speedball. Also, I think I should eat something more than coffee and excel chart fumes
• Finding a positive about having to track my finances in Excel…I get to learn how to use Pivot tables.
• Some people get cabin fever – I’m having excel spreadsheet fever!
• Essentials for doing my job. books, nail polish, nail polish remover, my cell phone, excel spreadsheet for the financials oh yea & a headset
• I put a smiley in a blank cell on my excel spreadsheet…is that unprofessional?
• Never been so excited over a graphs and charts. Though it was only a few months back I asked someone how to multiply in Excel.
• Just found a report at work that will save me roughly two weeks of work twice a year. That’s, like, 160 hours. Of excel. #cubiclevictories
• Most of my day is spent deciding which fill colours to use on my excel sheets at work. #lime #turquoise #purple #hardworker
• That stupid moment when u don’t trust your formulas on excel and reach for your calculator!!!
• After manipulating 4,000 rows of Excel code, it’s unclear whether it’s your morning or your soul that disappears more quickly.
• If Excel is the Gotham City, Pivot Table and Vlookup are the Batman and Catwoman. #TDKR
• Achievement unlocked: 1MB Excel Workbook. Not sure if it matters, but there’s only three graphs.
• i’ve been half-comatose since coming home from work. i just made excel spreadsheets for 4 hours and drank a latte. how am i this tired?
• Spent the whole day constructing ONE excel graph. ONE.

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Of course the time you spend working in Excel makes a difference in this world. And it’s even more important during the Olympics, so get your spreadsheets ready!

• Hacking excel code like a boss… if such a thing is possible.
• Making the biggest spreadsheet man has ever seen! THE OLYMPICS ARE COMING!!!!
• My nicknames in the office are ‘Spreadsheet Girl’, ‘Excel Queen’ and ‘Graph Girl’. Cool huh? #notcool
• Making an excel spreadsheet to try & work out what to pack for 5wks. So far it’s a list of dresses in 1 column. I’m not sure of the formula.
• There aren’t many more depressing things than an excel spreadsheet at 6.30 in the morning
• I wish that in college writing code was as easy as recording a macro in excel. #nerdtweet
• I feel like I need an excel spreadsheet to not miss anything during the Olympics.
• I like that my boss describes excel formulas and mail merge as ‘magic’.
• excel just shut itself down and deleted an entire days work. And. Breathe.
• I got my Excel formula to work this morning, hurrah!! I worked myself up into such a rage yesterday, i must not have been thinking clearly.
• i’m sure there’s something i hate more than debugging excel spreadsheets generated from code, but right now i can’t remember what it is.
• Excel spreadsheets, don’t you just love spending a whole day creating one and then find out the information you were given is wrong.
• Hah, my little excel spreadsheet I made yesterday is now part of an invoice to a $1m project. Cool.
• Excuse me for quoting Fifty Shades, but after figuring out the excel math problem, my inner nerd goddess just did a triple flip #winning
• Tonight I taught my girlfriend how to pivot table. #notametaphor
• Dear excel. I usually have big love for you, but If you don’t stop being an arse about data labels on charts, we’re through.
• Have you ever tried to work in excel on an old laptop without a mouse? Well let me tell you, it SUCKS.
• Thank you MS Excel for great optimizing of my novel’s outlines. Of course I can print them on 21,000 pages, how could that be a problem?
• Lets pretend the hours i spend on excel spreadsheets for work make a difference in this world. OK?

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A pivot table book is not a good substitute for a fly swatter. And if you break your arm, it will be harder to clap when you get excited about your Excel accomplishments.

• They want me to make all these fancy charts in Excel, what they don’t know is that it was a struggle just to get the bar graphs
• I packed an extra casual shirt with me to work to change to when things get rough, like doing excel sheets.
• I almost broke my arm trying to kill a fly with a book on Excel pivot tables just now
• Helped my dad fix his formulas on his excel spreadsheet for work and got a beer in return #eventrade
• My Dad told me he is doing a project at work on graph paper instead of Excel because "it’s easier that way." Conclusion: I could do it.
• My boss just figured out how to use the auto sum on an excel spread sheet. He got so excited he clapped. I need a raise.
• The apophenia of making Excel charts out of randomly generated data is great. "Wow, that’s a very interesting trend–oh, wait."
• Just accidentally closed an Excel file without saving and lost several hours of work. Wishing for a liquor bottle in a desk drawer.
• Oh excel how you tease me… hiding a worksheet full of hours of work and thousands of data points is really not funny… #phdchat #panic
• Curse you, single line of excel macro code that took up four hours of my life
• When I was younger I know one thing I definitely didnt wanna be when i grew up was an expert in Microsoft Excel! #LifeFail #FML
• So I had a nightmare about work – that an Excel spreadsheet I made got corrupted. This is now what I dream about. Microsoft Excel.
• spending too much time at work… Saw a tweet with brackets in it & thought of access & excel vba code… #saveme
• some of the new pivot table options in Excel 2013 make me a little bit happy (not in the pants)
• If there was a Turing test for conscious premeditated malice, the chart function in MS Excel would pass with flying colours.
• My excel gave up. I think I’m a demanding boss :s
• Promoted from code monkey to excel monkey. Nothing says career progression like fine tuning skills of hacking flaky excel spreadsheets.
• After five days, this Excel file is becoming a sort of Zen thing. "First you stare into the spreadsheet. Then it stares into you…"

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Do you remember the old days, when 3-D pie charts were cool? But no matter how much they change Excel, we still love it. Most of us don’t take pictures of it though.

• Let me finish making this spreadsheet so I can get on with my life
• Someone asked me how I became an Excel geek. I said if I can do 12 hours worth of work in 20 minutes, how could I *not* love it?
• Ooh. Just opened up a workbook in Excel 2013. Love the animation that jumps between cells. #littlethings #exciterdelighters
• Excel 2013 suggesting pivot views based on the selected data means people are going to get downsized. Thanks a lot, Obama. #IT
• Tip of the Day…Don’t under any circumstances work in Excel for 9.5 hours straight. #ownworstenemy
• 1st day back at work in over 2 weeks and my brain is basically useless so far. I honestly couldn’t find Excel just now.
• Yes, it is 2 AM…I can’t sleep. Working on my Excel report for work. I hope doing this knocks me out.
• finished my graph..and learned how to use Excel completely in one day.
• More from intern kid: "I want to punch this pivot table in the face." Yeah, should have thought of that before you dissed Journey.
• I’ve got 6 sides of paper with data on to put on an excel spreadsheet! Wow, excitement never ends at work #woo
• omg my mum keeps calling out to me like every 5 seconds bc she doesn’t know how to work excel omg
• Another guy topped up the sexy excel comment by taking photos of the excel sheet up on screen. Makes me wonder what kind of ppl I work with
• Microsoft “Excel” was almost named Microsoft “Look, I’m Doing My Best, OK? We Can’t All Be Like My Stupid Perfect Sister”
• 3D Charts were added in Excel 3.0 back when we thought 3D pie charts were cool Haha @Office
• Office 2013? In still on excel 2003 at work!
• Strangely, when I’m in a pub, I never wish I were at work, staring blankly at Excel while the minutes of my life tick away.

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Did you get your pivot table skills from your parents, who are Excel geniuses? Or are they having a screaming match about Excel, while you yell at charts?

• Finally completed one excel spreadsheet!!
• I’ve been staring at the same excel spreadsheet since 11am this morning. I’d like to try waterboarding now.
• My parents are Microsoft Excel GENIUSES 😀 I LOVE YOU TWO 🙂
• The sudden burst of joy upon discovering that an excel formula you hadn’t expected to work…works…#lifeofanaccountingstudent
• I hate Excel. and I hate trying to fix someone else’s spreadsheet to work for me. Who wants to make me a spreadsheet?
• "So You Think You Can Pivot Table" #corporaterealityshows
• My excel sheets brings all the pie charts to my screen #HungryYakafanna
• OMG, my thesis adviser. I’m debating between "Hi, I’m doing very well, thank you" or "My boss thinks my Excel skills are awesome, eat that."
• Please don’t talk to me about excel graphs while I’m trying to pee. I don’t even know you.
• In Nashville, a "geek", is anyone who can draw charts in Excel or owns a Twitter account. #themoreyouknow
• Oddly enjoying analyzing data in Excel with pivot tables & learned new formula. Guess the researcher in me is still there. #nerdalert #fb
• My parents are having a screaming match over my mom not knowing how to work Excel #seriously #isthatnecessary
• I am about to boldly go where few have gone before in this office and generate a pivot table in the name of journalism. I may be some time.
• excel skills are coming in handy for my first day at work 🙂 those boring ict lessons don’t seem to be so useless now..
• I love a girl who knows what she’s doing…with an Excel spreadsheet
• non-computer teachers do not assign spreadsheets but have no problem assigning a paper or a powerpoint, no wonder kids don’t know #Excel.
• Latest obsession. Crashing workbooks. #excel2010 #powerpivot
• 3 years since I graduated college, and I’m still haunted by pivot tables and Excel spreadsheets
• DRAW THE DAMN TRENDLINE STUPID EXCEL.

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Instead of photocopying an Excel book, you might learn more if you read it. Try at least the first 50 pages or so.

• In preparation for tonight’s wedding shower, I made a spreadsheet full of pastel colors.
• Yes I have spent my Friday night making a spreadsheet. Judge away.
• "26-page" and "Excel spreadsheet" are not phrases that should be used together.
• Dad has finished his spreadsheet now so I told him to save it. ‘Well how!?’
• How can someone who works in #IT, not know how to create a #spreadsheet?!! WORKS IN IT! #Shocked ain’t even the word!
• It’s cool when you turn an accounting spreadsheet upside down and you’re actually gaining money.
• Boss asks me to master excel2010.. So I printed the whole darn 398pages of excel for dummies right from the photostat machine
• At work. knitting in car, boss in meeting. Hmmmm……. Better not. Better just stare at my excel spreadsheet and dream about wool.
• One of my boss called me an excel ‘expert’. I’m flattered.
• Best way I know to work with Excel: export to CSV and use something else.
• Finishing an excel sheet is like finishing a crossword except that now you have something that will work for you.
• I haven’t saved my work in this excel file for, like, two hours. I’ve never felt so alive.
• The people most likely to call a spreadsheet a "matrix" are the least likely to know how to do anything in excel
• If i see one more excel spreadsheet where someone manually counted something I’m going to scream!
• "I’ve tried to open that spreadsheet – excel wouldn’t work so I tried acrobat & InDesign" – a colleague who shouldn’t be allowed near a PC
• I’m currently looking at an Excel spreadsheet that is so ugly it makes angels weep.
• My fam is trying to organize a potluck for my grandpa’s 80th. They’re trying something new, an excel spreadsheet. There are 30 versions now.
• I am so spreadsheet averse, I get hives when my cursor comes too close to the Excel icon on my doc. Right brain problems.

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It’s Friday the 13th, so be careful. Save your Excel work frequently, so you won’t lose it all if you accidentally hit the power switch. You don’t want your dog to see you crying.

• I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to figure out how 10 cents disappeared on a spreadsheet. Time to go home. #RoyaltyAccountantProblems
• I do enjoy a good spreadsheet. Especially one where the money in is more than the money out. No excuse to go overdrawn now.
• Accidently hit the power switch in the middle of developing a list on Microsoft Excel and I didn’t even save my work.
• Happy Take Your Dog to Work Day! Lacey has been learning Excel…what a good dog! pettherapy
• Why the HECK my VLOOKUP excel formula didn’t work as it should #ThingsICareAboutMoreThanTomandKatiesDivorce
• that delightful moment when you sort in an excel file & all of your data makes more sense. 🙂 LOVE! #geek
• Couch time with a delivery log book, an Excel spreadsheet and The Cosby Show on a marathon. Research data collection at its finest.
• I love Excel but its graphing capabilities are about as useful and effective as getting hit in the head with a block.
• Alone in the office. Time to crank up the sad love songs and cry while working on excel spreadsheets LIKE AN ADULT.
• When a spreadsheet freezes and you have to stare at that spinning blue circle forever but can’t restart Excel because of unsaved changes…
• I made an Excel worksheet all by myself! #proudmoment
• If you work with Excel, learn pivot tables and the vlookup formula. People will think you’re magical and you’ll never be unemployed.
• Saving over your completed Excel file is not the business #fml #tpsreports
• My charts look much prettier knowing Alt Enter for Excel #officetweet
• 2 years ago I was in Vegas. Currently looking at a spreadsheet. Not quite the same
• Who would have thunk it? It was Skype’s "click to call" app causing Excel’s cut function not to work.
• Heck yes, just wrote an Excel macro which appeared to work, AND the world is still in existence.
• Death is watching your old professor scroll to the top of a 2000 row excel worksheet ONE ROW AT A TIME. x(

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No, Google can’t help you with every Excel problem, but it could help you (or your secretary) find my tip on how to change those column headings from numbers to letters.

• when faced with a complex issue, make a spreadsheet #thingsmyparentssay
• I am making graphs in Excel. A new career low 🙁
• Well my boss just closed the excel sheet which took me 3 hours to do and didn’t save it. Apparently it’s still my fault though.
• Excel training broke my brain, but may have helped me solve the problem I kept running into.
• Ooo! Teach a man to fish… My secretary has finally learned how to fill out and merge an Excel spreadsheet. Something will go wrong…
• LOL-My pivot table skillz are much like my Pinochle skillz. –Mostly luck -based unless someone is helping me! 🙂
• I really feel stupid having to google "how to…on excel" for every little thing, bet I’m not the only one though
• You know you’re a geek when a highlight of your week is having work upgrade your Excel program, at your request #Excellent #ithadtobedone
• Had to teach myself how to do an Excel pivot table at work…Google was not helpful at all.
• My excel is doing that stupid thing again with rows and columns numbered and no letters!
• So unfair how Profs and TAs expect you to know how to use Microsoft Excel. Took me 2 days to make 3 graphs.
• I’ve managed to tune my Excel VBA script to <10 lines of function code. That’s simple enough that I could debug it years later. Success!
• People who hard-code #’s in Excel annoy the bejeezus out of me.
• i actually really like excel as it appeals to my inner nerd, and maintain a spreadsheet of my spreadsheets
• I AM THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS OFFICE WHO CAN USE EXCEL SO I DOUBT I AM AT FAULT IF YOUR "CHANGES" TO MY SPREADSHEET CAUSE THINGS TO NOT WORK.
• In my experience, nothing’s every very simple with Excel graphs! It’s its worst feature, I find. Sorry I can’t be of more help.

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