Author: Debra Dalgleish

A pig, some bricks, and a whiz. No, it’s not a fairytale, it’s just another day in Excel. Grab some coffee and buttered paper, and get started.

• if i were you i’d just delete the excel worksheet, uninstall excel and tell your (big?) boss to shove it…. but i’m not you =)
• I wish Excel would default to a 0 gap width for bar charts.
• oooh i remember setting up my first drop down list, pivot table and the ultimate "vlookups".
• Yes!! I feel restless! Maybe I’m getting Spreadsheet Withdrawl Syndrome! Lol
• Funny observation: when entering a function in a spreadsheet you have to start with =( maybe that’s why math makes me sad 😉
• Is it sad that I’d rather get a lower grade in class than pay $197 for a CD with some stupid excel files? #tightwad
• Oh Excel conditional formatting, how I love thee. Colour coded my spreadsheet in a way that would have taken hours. #TimeForASmugBrew
• Now on BBC4; the true story of Florence Nightingale and her use of Microsoft Excel charts and pivot tables. Way ahead of her time.
• When I was 8 a spreadsheet was something you did before you made a fort out of old bricks in the garden.
• Somebody played 52 card pick-up with my spreadsheet.
• Boss looking for an "Excel Whiz" to make a table for him. He’ll be so excited when he finds out I can also use the ‘Sum’ function.
• Public service announcement. If you can use Excel functions but don’t use pivot tables, learn pivot tables. Really, they’re the best.
• Pens and paper make a refreshing change from powerpoint and excel. Real office beats MS Office everytime…
• i love excel. i don’t do a lot of formula stuff but can do data coloration etc.
• You’ll all be pleased to hear that it’s a day of spreadsheet analysis for me. like a pig in mud lol
• i still don’t think i know what a spreadsheet is. the word makes me think of buttered paper
• Ladies and gentlemen of Twitter: an announcement. I HAVE MADE A PIVOT TABLE WORK ALL BY MYSELF. #success
• Best way to start the morning you ask??? #Coffee and #spreadsheets. Don’t know why I’m so addicted to Microsoft #excel
• it’s called a pivot table sweetie. Need some excel tutoring and a tissue?

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel Conditional Formatting

______________

Don’t blame Excel when your wedding goes over budget – it can’t order a fighter jet on its own! However, pastel pie charts wouldn’t cost much, and make lovely decorations.

• I wonder what the world would be like without Excel.
• Ok, I think my spreadsheet is now current. Dear COO, please to be not adding anything new to it, else my head might explode. /frazzled
• New addition to the ultimate wedding spreadsheet "fighter jet flyover"#goingtogetintrouble
• btw i can teach you pivot tables, but only on older versions of excel — the 2007 version blows.
• Is it me, or is Excel 2007 just plain sluggish?
• Making pie… charts that is. The default colors for charts in Excel are terrible. Nothing like pastels to grab someones eye < sarcasm
• I have mad love for MS Excel, those functions, curly formulas, macros *sigh* I’m in love #spreadsheetSwagger
• Just bought a book on VBA code in Excel from Amazon. #nerdwinning
• excel pivot tables do stink!! Why can’t they simplify that process? Not rocket science! Or- wait-maybe it is after all!
• Do new versions of Excel have the international date format built in? Because not having that is just stupid.
• I love mathematical modelling on excel….its a great destresser
• I love inserting comments in excel sheets. The small text boxes with arrows pointing to the cells excite me. Lol!
• Not that said coworker intentionally confused his code… that’s just the nature of the beast when working in Excel. Ugh.
• I hate Excel.I do,however,love my secretary (an appropriate amount).altho its her fault I am lazy&have an IT skills gap!
• I wrote between 12K and 20K lines of code today. Well not me excel did most of the work. I am the worlds most inefficient code monkey.
• Just wrote an #excel formula that line-wraps 3 times. If I hadn’t written it myself, it would look like an alien language.
• Ughh comp died and excel lost half my data of the populations of the 200 countries in the world #fml
• Just found some SUMPRODUCTs in an old spreadsheet I made. SUMPRODUCT…? SUMPRODUCT..? Ah! I remember those… *wistful sigh*
• Always play to your strengths. I spent 5 minutes making charts on an excel spreadsheet and my group totally thinks I’m pulling my weight.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

______________

Back to work after a lovely spring weekend, and some people are cringing when they open Excel. What about you? Hung over? Or Awesome?

• Burying myself in a spreadsheet, hiding from the METs playing consistently – consistently bad pitching, consistently bad clutch hitting…
• sleeeeeeeepppp – this spreadsheet was a far more complex mire of cells than I was expecting
• Created a spreadsheet and graph on my mac to chart the progress of my book – procrastination to the extreme!
• Pretty sure I need Excel training – I can barely sort by column, and WTF is a pivot table? Yes I know I’m in IT….
• Working out what books to buy with the help of a spreadsheet. I’m just that cool.
• *cringe* opening up excel. on purpose. not for client work.
• You know what’s awesome? Working on an excel worksheet all morning, and then accidentally exiting without saving it. That’s genius. :/
• I’m probably doing the nerdiest, lamest thing anyone could be doing right now: An excel spreadsheet for my Magic cards as a database. 8D
• Well work has brainwashed me to the point of I cannot decipher information that is not in the form of an Excel spreadsheet.
• I just created a colour-coded ‘new house’ spreadsheet, with formulae and everything. Man, being responsible is so time consuming…
• Problem solving, yes. Playing with MS Word or macros in Excel, no.
• woke up early to try and finish some school work…it took me 2 hours to make a graph on excel… #hungover
• High-fives and shouts of joy as we set up Excel sales reports with conditional formulas…and they work. #nerdalert
• All done voting. Heading back to work now ? Excel is my lover for the day, we shall make sweet spreadsheets together #sexy #donthate
• My work from home plan mildly failed because I forgot I have Excel 2007 and I barely know how to use it. #FAIL
• Curse these arrays. They reject variable cell addresses. If I were Ricardo Montalban I would say they task me. #excel #arrays #Khan!
• Great day today, dog sit, work on excel, yanks vs sox, masters, spurs, then watching james kirkland box tonight! Holler!
• trying to do some simple analyses on some data for my latest assignment – When exactly does Microsoft Excel ever actually #excel?

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Conditional Formatting

______________

Unlike Marshall’s company, we don’t have a graphics department. But if we had one, they could work on the Zombie Apocalypse prediction charts.

• I hate it when info for a spreadsheet is plopped in my lap at the last second, and i’m told to "make sense of all this".
• Excel – you are rubbish, I mean total rubbish! There was no problem saving the file, so why does it take 4 PCs & 6 reboots to open it?
• Always seem to shut my laptop down and find zillions of leftover text files with Excel formulae or code snippets… Am I the only one?!
• decided to come into work to help my boss catch up on things…bad move. now im trapped here doing excel work.
• Would be surprised if one day I get "Excel Services can’t render workbook because the spreadsheet was created in excel" #Failed
• My new workbook in Excel is Book76. I haven’t closed Excel in awhile.
• This is a ‘sit in the park and eat ice cream’ afternoon, not a ‘sit in the office and fight with Excel’ one.
• I’m surrounded by 3 monitors of excel with recursive pivot tables trying to predict the Zombie Apocalypse.
• Just got done with an excel mind puzzle at work. Learned 5 new formulas today!
• i’m breaking down the structure of parks and rec scripts. i make crazy color coded charts in excel. does anyone else do this?
• i just figured out how to make Pie Charts in Excel. i feel like Marshall on HIMYM. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaIGSOvjYec
• what is so hard about filling out a PREMADE excel spreadsheet? i mean REALLY people… #really
• Surprisingly, there were no results for the Google search "excel is from hades". Hmm. #excel
• I just figured out a simple ‘adjacent tile’ algorithm for my assignment, but using Excel to work with. I think I need to be slapped.
• It’s funny what software people use sometimes. I’ve never seen a website designed in MS Excel before 🙂
• #Wisconsin, good thing that the spreadsheet was in Excel 2007! If it’s wrong it’s wrong doesn’t matter the Excel version! :s
• I would be lying if I said I didn’t judge auditors by their use of comment boxes, merged cells, or text boxes. #excel #auditors
• You know where you’re talking to someone and you think ‘can you get any more boring?’… I don’t care about your spreadsheet problems!
• I just lost my pivot table virginity!!!

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

______________

The cautionary Excel tale warns about sorting disasters, but doesn’t mention frozen 3D pie charts or sunken pivot tables. Be careful out there!

• Spreadsheets have a more than passing resemblance to #battleship. ie: "You just sunk my pivot table!"
• I’ve never had any performance issues with my computer. But apparently running a pivot table on 2 million records in Access is a lil much.
• Made the transition from Office 2003 to 2007. I find myself in a conditional formatting jungle. #excel
• Just put together a spreadsheet for organising babysitters. Unnerved and pleased in equal proportions.
• I wanted to show off an HLOOKUP formula I just wrote, but it was 36 characters too long for Twitter. Too bad. #excel #nerd
• Screw you pivot table. You won’t do what I want I’ll just extract the data myself! Ha!!
• ugh, the absolute worst time to have Excel crash is when you hit the "save" button #fml
• a more #helpful message from #excel would be: "It’s too late, go to bed"
• I love Excel. No, really, it’s true. I do. I might marry it one day, just to broadcast to the world my commitment to it. #ultimatesarcasm
• Just learned a new #Excel function: SUBSTITUTE. Helpful little bugger in the right situation, but isn’t everything like that. #nerd
• I’ve just learned about Excel’s 1900 and 1904 date systems. Unbelievable. Microsoft has redefined the word stupid. I’m being diplomatic.
• If I have to look at one more excel spreadsheet with codes on, I will cry!
• wish I’d known about paste special -> transpose a long, long time ago. #excel #grades
• copying old e-mail addresses from paper to excel is.. interesting, important and valued work-task. Sure it is. #rant
• Music has taken over my academic priorities. Working on some Excel charts and getting my mind right.
• A cautionary tale for everyone who uses #Excel in their cubicles: http://j.mp/hH3Vtr #neuroskeptic
• I like to color-code my excel spreadsheets. #thingsdorkssay #iamadork
• I might be making peace with Microsoft #excel. Moving some of my metrics from txt files to excel sheets. Conditional formatting=Awesome.
• I just deliberately made a 3D pie chart and Excel froze up. See? I told you 3D pie charts are terrible!

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

______________

Some people love Excel, and are applauded for their efforts. Others think Excel is a nightmare, and too cruel to use.

• Got bored at work, tried to make a game in Excel during dead time. You know what? Excel is not an effective platform for entertainment.
• In lecture bored, I learned about charts in Excel back in 2003..
• Excel spreadsheets look sexier at 85% zoom #excel
• Excel froze after 90 mins worth of work. It’s been 15 minutes. I was hoping it would unfreeze so I don’t lose my work. I didn’t save. #FML
• I love that for all the fancy things Excel can do, bolding a row can bring it to its knees. Why is that? #intheyear2000
• uh-oh… ppl at work are starting to think of me as an excel whiz. hope this won’t make me keep this financial mgmt responsibility. 🙁
• Gettin’ my spreadsheet on this AM. Advanced Budget Templates for Excel. It’s going to be rows of fun and columns of knowledge up in here.
• Figured out my excel spreadsheet problem….at 3am this morning. Fortunately I was at work and had the file in front of me. SOOO tired
• Today, i got a round of applause for my unhealthy love of Excel spreadsheets #oteam11
• Has finally broken free from his excel prison! Love stats but it was getting a bit too much #SuperGeek #DeathByAdmin
• Visual Basic in Excel is Awesome. A strange data problem was a piece of cake using VB and Macros. And it’s solved before breakfast. Sweet!
• Melancholy: The feeling when you realize that 1 tiny change in an excel sheet could have saved 10+ hours work. It’ll come in handy though.
• I bloody love making graphs on excel..more than life. Its so satisfying. #needtogetoutmore
• It’s pretty cruel to write anything in Excel, ouch.Problem is when someone sets it up,they rarely have to fill it in
• Arghh REPORTS!!! Eyeballs deep in #Excel… I hope this means I’m a little bit closer to getting the coveted ninja badge!
• #Excel can either be your best friend or your worst nightmare… Someone wake me up from this nightmare…
• Hotel room with Four Loko. Eat Pray Love on TV with James Franco. And Excel spreadsheets. I’m a catch!
• =IF(AND(groom="chad",bride="alise"),"LOVE! :-)","Not love 🙁 ") …Little excel humor for ya this mornin’. 10 DAYS!!!

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Functions
• Excel VBA

______________

  Paisley patterns, brain explosions, and dorky thoughts – all the ingredients for a spreadsheet of love!

• Haha, now using pivot tables in Excel to answer: ‘Are the Yankees really evil?’ We don’t need computers to know that… 🙂 #kipcamp
• Holy crap on a cracker. I am almost done with this EPIC SPREADSHEET. My shoulders hurt. My eyes hurt. My wrists hurt. Can I push on? HALP.
• Saving my work periodically, now, thanks to the power outage trauma of yesterday. *curses spreadsheet*
• I love when MS Excel’s help has a function example that doesn’t work in Excel.
• Excel’s love for changing things I’ve typed into dates is REALLY annoying.
• Apparently I’m an Excel genius at work… I’m not… I just know how to make pretty shapes & colours & hyperlink!!
• When your whole #Excel spreadsheet consists of inter-linked pivot-tables, it’s a sign you need to move your model to #Access.
• This morning, I’m teaching a Program Manager how to use Pivot Tables in Excel. I need to write some code before my brain explodes.
• bosses + computers = bad mix. My boss just asked me why he couldn’t see the entirety of a long number in a small cell in Excel…
• I hate the only thing stopping me from making massive spreadsheets of anything really interesting is my lazyness 🙁
• Freelance client just sent me excel sheet called, no joke, "spreadsheet of love."
• I love excel but I have to figure out a way to print this spreadsheet larger…where’s my magnifying glass?!?!
• I’d feel a lot better if I could pretend these numbers are just abstract shapes, like colouring in the spreadsheet with Paisley patterns
• You made a spreadsheet? // "Yeah, isn’t that what you always do when you have a problem?" 🙂
• Glass of wine (check), pjs (check), excel spreadsheet & @radian6 open (check), aptitude to stare at large amounts of data #priceless
• i have come up with so many equations on this stupid excel sheet i dont even know what im doing anymore…
• Dorky thought of the day: an Excel spreadsheet is probably way more advanced than the world of Tron, right?
• Another day when I wish I was an excel spreadsheet pro. Ugh. Must put that on the to-learn list. Oh, and must create to-learn list.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Tips and Tutorials
• Excel Functions

______________

Mumbling and swearing about Excel? That sounds like every time of the year, not just a specific month! You could turn up the Aerosmith, to drown it out.

• Ooo it’s that time of the year where Kayleigh can be found mumbling and swearing about Excel whilst surrounded by reams of paper <3
• Queries, formulas, & toggling excel spreadsheets. Yaay, back to work.
• at last……..the spreadsheet is finished, well when I say finished, it’s all entered on it…….probably loads more to do but not today
• Yo followers. Are any of you any good with Excel? I need help and will give you my eternal love if you can help me!
• Talking to my boss about Microsoft Excel is like talking to a baby about astrophysics. POINTLESS.
• so I’m totally at a loss on how to modify this excel spreadsheet… it just looks like a bunch of random numbers…
• I’m not sure what the avg bride includes in their budget, but I just updated my excel spreadsheet w/ EVERYTHING and it was kind of ridic.
• #PowerPivot is OLAP tech re-skinned as #Excel. "Spreadmarts" by contrast are often the reverse. Guess which one works better? 🙂
• Oh goody.. one of my important #PowerPivot files is crashing #Excel every time I open it…
• This spreadsheet is draining me
• My boss asked for me to keep him in the loop so I sent him an Excel spreadsheet with a circular reference error.
• You’re trying to plan it all on an Excel spreadsheet and I’m sorry, Erin, but life doesn’t work like that. #mymomknowsme #plannerfail
• I liked Pages, so I bought Numbers for Mac. Damn thing is being stupid with leading zeros in zip codes. Don’t make me get Excel in here.
• How am I supposed to concentrate on my spreadsheet when #aerosmith #sweetemotion is playing? Such a great riff!
• you know you’re a nerd when all you can think about is how sexy your excel spreadsheet looks
• I AM doing my work, thank you very much, FOOL! 🙂 It’s only Excel and it’s easy 🙂
• Doing work and listening to grime isn’t a brilliant idea. I’m hyping up and ruining my excel formulas
• I think Microsoft put Pivot Tables into Excel for the sole purpose of making my life difficult.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Templates
• Excel Functions
• PowerPivot for Excel 2010

______________

Did you enjoy a beautiful, sunny weekend, far away from Excel spreadsheets? Some of us weren’t so lucky, but a glass of wine at the end of the day can help.

• Excel shouldn’t be allowed to work on sunny days #spreadsheetshavetakenovermylife
• Saturday night is meant to involve me being recklessly drunk but instead I’m sat at home on excel trying to do some stupid tables!
• And here we are 25 yrs later & people are still ‘wowed’ by pivot tables & analysis in excel – jeez I was doing this in the 80s on my 286 PC
• the ipad still lacks an office suite. Useless in my business w/o excel spreadsheet
• a pivot table! Instant answer!
• I am not very good at Excel. I do have charts where my cells should be and formulas where my axis should be. Numbers are not my bag. #fact
• New pet peeve: people who use Excel for Word-type documents. Also people who leave stupidly huge amounts of blank space at the end of files.
• Oh, Excel 2007. I love you. Your AutoSum function has literally saved me hours of work. I think I just spontaneously made a baby.
• My boss gave me a CD to learn more about Excel 2007, do more forcasting, etc. About as fun as watching paint dry!
• Watching Bad Boys 2, I wish they could have that slo-mo camera work for me when I’m rockin Excel pivottables
• bored so came into office for 3 hours. Stereo Love, excel, and Bloomberg. what a sunday
• Been for a run-nearly time for comfy pants, no bra & glass of wine – bliss! First to tackle an excel spreadsheet …
• The score from Inception just played on my Pandora radio station. It’s not possible for Excel spreadsheet work to feel more epic than this!
• DAX formulas cannot be evaluated in parts like Excel formulas can. Makes it difficult to troubleshoot formulas that should work but don’t.
• Bible group at next table discusses "tracking the heavenly father’s good works in a Google spreadsheet that’s stored *in the cloud*"
• given up getting #excel to make me standard error bars. I will just draw the graphs with a pencil #oldschool

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• PowerPivot for Excel 2010

  ______________

Much of my best Excel work is done in a sleep deprived, hunger induced state of madness. Maybe I’ll stare at relaxed cats on the Internet, and call it a night.

• a guy who sits across the aisle from me had a problem with excel loading an add-in. IT replaced his computer. #coworkers
• I just instructed someone to colour an excel spreadsheet cell yellow. My work here is done! #fb
• took me over 5 mins to find where they put the pivot table button in Excel. I resorted to 2003 keystrokes.Then I RTFM.
• Just solved an Excel problem that’s been bugging me all day. Now to go install a sink and call it a night.
• is anyone awake and better yet is anyone awake that can make me a simple excel spreadsheet i am losing at excel
• I will never look down on spreadsheet wranglers again, omg. My mum already gave me a healthy appreciation for them, but this work! *faints*
• I’m wearing my excel book as a hat because I can’t figure out arrays. Boss asked if I hope to soak in the info that way. LOL
• Speaking of my birthday present, anybody know how to turn worksheet data into a pie graph in excel?
• It is possible to search an entire workbook in Excel instead of just one sheet. Just FYI.
• Sleep deprived, tendonitis flared, hunger induced madness & I’m learning how to create pivot tables in excel..
• Spreadsheet formulas are, I think, a very rocky introduction into functional programming. What I would give for a "for" loop right now…
• I have no faith in Excel’s colour-based filtering. Plus, you can’t make pivot tables based on row colour. #darkart
• Nice to be able to include the phrase "DON’T UNHIDE THE ROWS ABOVE THIS LINE! YOU’LL KILL US ALL YOU MANIAC!" in an Excel spreadsheet.
• After years of printing each worksheet individually, I just discovered you can print an entire workbook at once in Excel.
• Working on an important spreadsheet – The office McDonalds Happy Meal orders!
• the girl i work with said that she gets excited about excel like i get about facebook. Difference: facebook is changing lives…
• #facepalm I spent days looking for a document I made but couldn’t remember where. Just located it on a different page of open Excel workbook
• Creating a spreadsheet has stressed me out so much that I have been forced to look at pictures of a relaxed cats on the Internet to destress

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Special Sort

______________

No April Fools in Excel – everyone who uses Excel is a superior person, who makes wrangling lots of data look easy! Just ignore that person curled up in the corner, gently rocking.

• Transcribing names from a sign-in sheet to a spreadsheet…people have unbelievably messy handwriting!!
• I’m at that time at work where quickbooks, peachtree, excel sheets, and client’s statements blend together into one big blob
• I’m looking for a Superior person, with a capital "S", that knows how to make charts in Excel look fantastic. Anyone?
• Being able to build a pivot table on your own can get ya a job folks
• All data can be arranged into an excel spreadsheet. That’s an axiom right there.
• An excel spreadsheet just stole 4 hours of my life… I need a book keeper.
• I would like to express my gratitude that the "recover" function worked in excel, recovering two hours of spreadsheet work. thank you.
• No way in hell I’m waking up for class at 8. I hate Excel anyways
• Hard rock, a cup of tea and a pivot table…this is living!
• yuck!! I feel the same over this darn spreadsheet I am trying to create in which every1 wants something different
• I just love Excel… is that weird? I have just recently discovered Named Ranges! I used to use the default cell references!… took forever
• I usually start Excel work by going "WOAH! This is so clever!" and end up rocking gently a corner, once again defeated by a pivot table.
• Also, Excel Pivot tables are amazing. Makes wrangling lots of data look easy.
• A mere 25 years into its existence, Microsoft Excel still plots undefined numbers same as 0. Maybe they’ll fix that in coming decade or two.
• In #sql training, I was just referred to as the ‘Pivot King’ due to my knowledge of #excel pivot tables. #intenselygeeky
• I think I’ve just created the most intense spreadsheet/Google Doc in the history of Excel-formatted things #organizationFTW
• 🙁 sorry just got on….glad your daily battle with Excel was a victorious one
• just figured out how you can calculate howmany days someone is old in excel… #marilynmanson is 15425 days old! love this cursus!

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Contextures Excel Tips and Tutorials

______________

Wouldn’t it be great to have a single gadget that could run Excel, make toast and iron dress pants? Mornings would be so much easier!

• Learned to make pie charts in Excel and iron dress pants
• Taken me 5+ mins to find out how to remove a ‘password to modify’ from an Excel 2010 spreadsheet – MS, stop bloody moving options about!
• I just spent 30 minutes of my life discussing a non-work-related/vacation planning Excel spreadsheet w/ a friend. #fml #fb
• It should seriously be against the law to make someone stare at an excel spreadsheet for over 10 hours.
• Permission to leave? *hurls stupid laptop with stupid excel document across stupid floor of stupid place of stupid work*
• Dear Excel, I’m sorry that my 32GB of RAM is not enough for you, but still it would be great if you would stop choking on my spreadsheet.
• Sometimes when you think you’re saving the world, you realize you made an error in the numbers and you’re just polluting an excel workbook.
• I think programmers tend to prefer "R1C1" reference style in Excel.
• Buried in an excel spreadsheet for the afternoon. Head is melted. Tonight… there will be wine!
• I made a pivot table in excel last week. I still can’t come to grips with that
• You haven’t seen a pivot table until you’ve seen mine. #pivotenvy
• in advanced excel class, we learned to hide columns. #fail
• Seriously Microsoft start treating an Excel workbook as a single file. I don’t want to have to manually set every single sheet for printing.
• The massive excel spreadsheet project is now complete. Unfortunately my efforts weren’t rewarded with a new iPad. 🙁
• trust me. I didn’t overlook anything. I have a 5 tab excel workbook to prove it
• It’s a slippery slope! but then my wife used her excel/spreadsheet foo to track out cats glucose curve, then we shared it w/vet
• The most work I’ve done so far this morning has been to show two of the older guys in the office how to insert a picture in excel. #slowday
• Missing the most anticipated cricket match in history, to spend the day with Excel and LaTex 🙁 #FML #IndvsPak
• As it turns out the problem was that an update for excel turned on a long forgotten and well-hidden option without notice… frakin toasters

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel Functions

______________

Times might be tough, but you really should be working for food! Brush up on your Excel skills, and get a better job.

• Just traded my boss an excel report for string cheese and an apple. Everything I ever needed to know, I learned in kindergarten. #mature
• When your boss ask you to gather information and update the excel sheet simply say …Do I look like a people person?
• I just had to show the boss at work how ctrl+f works in excel. He got really excited. #highereducationatwork
• Excel knows who the boss is today like. Just wrote a Macro. HA.
• If it was not for boss we would have had an Excel Sheet that would have defied all the Presentations ever made in this office.
• Y this pivot table with this info so hard to put together on excel….dang man….I need a break
• Interview went well actually. But kudos to me for not knowing how to use vlookup and pivot table on excel. Sheesh
• note to self: selecting an entire workbook and mistakenly copying and pasting links elsewhere is enough to make excel implode
• Awesome, I’ve never wasted time making an Excel workbook that performs a Kaprekar Routine before. #cubefarm #morewaystopass4months
• I love you, Excel. I have missed you.
• Had to put marking on hold to brush up on my Excel skills tonight and being the nerd I am, I love it!!
• Dear users, if you’re going to send me a screenshot of an error….for the love of god, dont send it as an excel spredsheet. #ihateusers
• Microsoft Excel – I love you. Why can’t all MS Office products be as robust and reliable as you? You’re like the swiss army knife of data.<3
• I absolutely love that excel has a button that makes things normal. Sounds silly but SOOO helpful!!!
• Just figured out some really complicated (well, complicated for me) stuff in Excel. I love when I learn new things 🙂 #RealLifeAchievement
• I love when I send someone an excel spreadsheet, they make changes to it, and then cut and paste the data into an email. /headdesk
• jealous, I got this little laptop monitor…and I work with multiple excel large spreadsheets. #hopingfordualmonitorssoon
• Apparently “Save often” for Microsoft Excel means every 20 seconds. Just lost work and it reverted to a previous auto-save. #NotCool
• Ask me how I can work on a website design, but can’t create a table in #microsoft word or excel.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel Functions

______________

Good question – what is your definition of an Excel ninja? The ability to turn spreadsheets lilac? Doing inventory work while drinking beer?

• Spending a day in excel doing inventory work for clients isn’t that bad when you’re sitting in the sun with a beer! #mondayjoy
• i swear. since when does 11-20 automatically mean 1st of november 2020. and why the hell would i be making a spreadsheet about the future!?
• In Excel, you can’t unhide multiple worksheets at once. That’s dumb.
• Laundry & excel spreadsheets….my life is so glamorous. #sarcasm
• Microsoft Excel you are the bane of my existence! A pivot table seemed like a good idea at the time…
• In honor of me figuring out this Excel Pivot table I will do a line of fries from mcdonalds.
• I really admire someone that applies their love of comic sans to excel files.
• I am falling out with excel at a rapid speed. My spreadsheet has turned lilac. #clientslovelilac right?!?
• More than a little annoyed that days of work will go to waste because Excel is stupid. (R has a ridiculous learning curve – will work on it)
• I’m entering important tweets in an excel spreadsheet to keep track, including troll tweets. Historians will pay a fortune for it 🙂
• Typed in following search on Bing site:linkedin.com "excel ninja" -dir what is ur def of excel ninja? Pivot tables, macros, vba programming?
• At work. Stupid reports. My battle with Excel and predicting when it will crashes begins. Bets anyone? Times?
• Just got emailed an 8 page Excel spreadsheet for the wedding I’m in. DANG.
• Excel, why do you think there are a MILLION rows of data here when there are clearly only 10? Don’t make me hate you. #work
• What kind of Corp Rep project doesn’t require you to submit an excel sheet? This is a joke, seriously.
• I was not born for spreadsheet hell, I know that much #excel
• I’m playing VAT Reconciliation Warrior 12: The Pivot Table. I’m a level 23 accounting warlock in the Excel Circle.
• I still haven’t finished this stupid excel workbook. Mainly because it’s stupid and I’m uninterested in it.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA
• Excel Tips and Tutorials

______________

Even though I’m working with Excel again, I know it’s not Groundhog Day. And don’t call me Shirley!

• I’m the dreamer/opportunist, he’s the "let-me-do-the-excel-sheet-to-see-if-it’ll-work". It balances out.
• *smackhead* Stupid mistake in Excel formulas. Now have to redo like a thousand formulas. #hategradschool
• JUst made an F1 points spreadsheet. Like the ones me and dad used to make back in the day on our first computer. #Nostalgia
• Should I open the excel model from work in the hope that it’ll put me to sleep?
• Numbers is for quick+presentation use, Excel is a full suite spreadsheet (which most of us never fully use)
• please explain to my boss that I’m too drunk/hungover to use #vlookup or any other excel function today.
• i would rather do just about anything than make an excel spreadsheet… #guesswhatimdoing
• Shirley I’m not the only one "working" with my mouse over a fake spreadsheet! #BUTLER
• Friday night. On the couch. watching basketball. Work spreadsheet in front of me. Canceled a date #fml
• was an online test. Only got hung up on the Excel part. Damn pivot tables.
• I don’t know where to start explaining to a client what’s wrong about keeping a spreadsheet with the username and passwords of their users.
• I’m in accounting too!! I have mad Excel skills & love balanced numbers! And also get mocked for it #AccountantsRock
• i met the deadline. 4398 balanced rows(excel). The boss is overall happy. i #rule 😀
• Excel & I are at that point in our love/hate relationship where I push it out of an airplane from 35,000 feat and it plummets to its death.
• I opened my laptop to work on excel I’m tweeting instead
• no problem…glad to share my arcane (and usually pointless) knowledge of excel 🙂
• Groundhog Day. Spreadsheet. Soul. Wilting.
• I am hating my class again. ARGH – 4 words, small team – BIG spreadsheet
• Entering check information into a spreadsheet, and noticed someone wrote a check for $190 as "one hundred and nighty".

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel Functions

______________

Whether you’re in fashion school or helping grandma, Excel can help. And if you forget how to calculate percentages, a pie chart might not be the best long term solution.

• Got the most confusing spreadsheet from customer wanting me to fill it in, but it was sent as read-only. Someone needs an Excel class…
• Watching Modern Family while I work helps me ignore that Excel is taking 4ever to save (I’m a compulsive saver, so this is a BIG problem)
• This spreadsheet is as good as its going to get… good night Excel. Good night events list. Good night Twitter. Good night moon.
• The weirdest things get me excited now….I’m totally geeked about this new excel spreadsheet #dork
• It’s a rare day that I get an e-mail with a screenshot of an Excel sheet and I’m asked to calculations on it, but today is that day. #fml
• Realized that making reports, charts and pivots in Excel is a new hobby of mine..Should I be worried right now?
• I get it from my dad. We are supreme spreadsheet lovers! He would be so proud if he saw mine..err..maybe not… 😉
• I love Excel but there is a line and think you just crossed it with your Scabble score spreadsheet 🙂
• I am so lame. I just my a pivot table for my #wedding flowers. I officially just became an #ExcelGeek…and I think I like it!
• Thank God for that business computer class, just helped my grandma with this excel spreadsheet.
• Ummm… I’ve forgotten the excel formula for working out percentages… But it’s okay because the pie charts worked it out for me. #phew
• Dear Universe, just ONE more excel file to complete, please allow me to survive..(a months work in 3 days…)
• Kid at the office just sent document to me (I asked him to put date in the name): spreadsheet twenty fifth march two thousand and eleven.doc
• I even like formulas. I would marry a spreadsheet.
• Pivot Tables. The most useful, yet most unstable and frustrating part of Microsoft Excel
• I love filling out spreadsheets for stuff that doesn’t matter. Even better if a secret society of Excel engineers designed the spreadsheet!
• Fashion schools should put an emphasis on Microsoft Excel. I make at least 4 charts everyday.
• Work work work. I would like to know when did excel become a means of torture?

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

______________

If Excel work is making you depressed, take a break, and jot down a few new ideas. Or maybe Satan could teach you to play the blues.

• Tonight, when I get home, I am going to write a love song about Microsoft Excel.
• What’s not to love when you solve problems of the dreaded excel variety
• I’m in computer class, we doing spreadsheet, I really can’t believe that so many people can’t do basic things on pc’s, shockn #imjustsaying
• Love that my dad classifies me as a genius because of my basic excel know-how. 🙂
• Excel never ceases to amaze me how much it can be used in so many different ways #excelrocks
• Dear Satan, teaching Robert Johnson the blues at the crossroads was an inspired move. But, it still doesn’t make up for Microsoft Excel.
• Revamping someone elses XL spreadsheet is the worst!! My eyes are glazed.
• #Excel is right next to #Twitter on my dock and i keep opening excel and it depresses me deeply.
• Fixed the #Excel macros that were shutting down my computer yesterday. 20 min work each month is now a single mouse click. #winning
• I really should keep it quiet that I know how to use Excel. People find out and the requests pile up asking about metrics, charts, etc
• Used an #Excel #PivotTable to turn an entire day’s worth of my co-worker’s job into about 10 minutes of work. #Seriously
• Today, at work, I was told that I’m at Jedi Master level when it comes to my Excel skills. #howtomakeageekhappy #ilovespreadsheets #starwars
• You know you’re a consultant when… you use Excel for your shopping list and then sort it using a pivot table!
• after complaining, the excel gods were nice to me and the pivot table stopped being stubborn – all is well – chocolate overdose avoided
• Take a break from excel, and doodle down a few new ideas.
• Tech Tip –> don’t run a macro on a 65k-row excel workbook, if you want to do anything else in Excel for the next freaking hour!! #FB
• Take a screenshot of a spreadsheet. Set it as your desktop wallpaper. Look productive at all times.
• Well I wanted/needed to do some work tonight but I think my roomie just bored me into a coma with an Excel conversation. Accountants…

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Templates

______________

It was the opposite of a sunny day here yesterday, so there was no temptation to stop working in Excel and go outside.

• Ok. Folks. Can someone tell me if YIELD in excel takes in the dirty price or the clean price?
• I never thought I’d say this but Excel’s help function just helped me big time… 😀
• Hip deep in data validation rules. Excel how I love thee. Let me count the ways…..it’s 2
• Just took a Mean Nap, Time to knock out this Excel work!
• Lovely sunny day outside & I’m in work battling with date formats in Excel!:-( #miffed
• An excel book should do it. Problem is having time and patience to make excel do what you want.
• Man I love a spread sheet, marmite is good but excel is by far my favourite spread!
• Love it when I work something out for myself on Excel 🙂 #pivottablesfordummies
• I’m having a blast at work learning new things about Excel… Oh how I love Excel. Also, I get to leave soon.
• #Excel and I are just about to fall out. Nice to > 256 columns, but would also like not to have the accompanying memory issues… Grrrr!
• Just overheard a debate on which Excel formula was best #fail
• Text to columns is a beautiful, time-saving thing. #Excel
• Has worked out ‘Auto sum’ in excel and got it to work out my weekly and fought nightly driving times!
• Can’t. Get. Pivot. Table. To. Sort. What am I doing wrong?! I need to buy an Excel book today. Good thing I’m working at sbx next to mall
• It’s time for the Excel fairy to stop by and do my work for me.
• Numbers will match. It’s after all MS Excel. Add some charts to look professional and create confusion. #OfficePolitics #ThumbRules
• I now dream exclusively in Excel/VBA code. #engineering #nightmares #nerdybrag #excessiveuseofhashtags
• is it weird that i kind of like making ridiculously organized spreadsheets on #excel ? #nerdalert #ocd
• being good with excel, like being a good with a banjo, earns respect from practitioners but annoyance from everyone else.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions
• Excel Data Validation

______________

Things can turn ugly when Excel processes go rogue, and Excel demons appear. A pivot table wizard or flux capacitor might solve the problem.

• Excel is suddenly crashing every time I try to save a workbook. Did Adobe buy Microsoft this morning and I missed it?
• ALTHOUGH it used to be easier in earlier versions of Excel, where there was Pivot Table Wizard. New office, notsomuch.
• Post on a Warcraft forum called "why I love Excel." This is pretty much as good as it gets for me
• Just opened my budget spreadsheet to find it somehow didn’t save all the work I did on it last time… *sob* stupid Excel!!!
• Batlling the demons of excel and #winning
• I finally got upgraded to Office 2010 last week and I’m having a love affair with the new Excel. This is what my life has come to.
• Late night playing with #excel functions, SEARCH > FIND, any objections? 🙂
• Such crap at work today. Seriously, if you can’t enter info in an Excel worksheet its time for you to be shown the door.
• Please sponsor my excel marathon, taking place today, at work, all day…
• I hate using Excel for data updates and charts figures. This stuff is takes forever. #overit
• Seeing my magical powers with the Excel pivot table, the social workers were awestruck, as though I had invented fire.
• Boss is banning me from joining Excel training. What?! Is it due to my job as superbackup holds me back? Or I’m just too awesome? Can I cry?
• making bubble charts on Excel is a nightmare. They always look horrible. Any other tools that people use ?
• I HATE this day…urgent needed Excel file’s missing…8 hrs of work for nothing…*argh* just great…
• Turns out #excel didn’t lose my personal.xlsb, there was a rouge excel process holding it captive.
• 14 – I love Excel enough that I’m about to switch this list over to there to help me get organized. #100factsaboutme
• Learn some basic formatting skills! I’ve just spent 10 minutes resizing your spreadsheet columns to make it legible.
• Vlookup pivot table flux capacitor transwarp ratio differential. All functions of Excel I claimed to have used today at work. #blagging

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

______________

I hope your day in Excel didn’t leave you feeling pivot brained and body slammed! That could result in your talking like a pirate.

• Instead of playing pokemon I am instead making an excel worksheet. Does this mean I’m an adult now?
• This may come as a shock to you, but staring at the #Excel spreadsheet does not make it populate with data. I tried this tactic. It failed.
• Recieved a great compliment last week. "You spend too much time on #Excel". I found it amusing.
• I really love the new colours in Microsoft Excel 2010 – Spreadsheets never looked so good! #massivenerd
• excel pivot tables are great… unless you know how to code reports out of mysql
• been putting off work for 3 hours playing with excel -_-
• Have been so buried in excel today my brain feels like a pivot table
• after careful consideration I have come to the conclusion that I would rather be playing Golf instead of working this spreadsheet!
• Whoever came up w/ #excel and #spreadsheets needs to be body slammed by the Aussie bully body slammer. That guy is cool, Excel guy is not
• AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #excel #id10ts
• ridiculous… i can stumble upon pricelessly useful formulas in excel, but i cant find the effing page setup button to save my life. #fml
• I LOVE YOU, SUMPRODUCT!!! #Excel
• I’m sorry #Excel, but after discovering joys (?) of #Numbers, I bid you adieu. #funwithspreadsheets
• Today my Excel-Fu has been… Strong!
• I don’t know why I am fascinated by complex excel spread sheets. #NerdAttack
• I was just reading an article about how to Excel at work. My mind kept thinking, what does this have to do with spreadsheets. It didn’t.
• my excel crashed just like that, couldn’t repair, couldn’t save. Whole day’s worth of work is gone.
• I made my own pivot table in excel. I’m almost an IT guy – overheard in the office.
• It takes time to adjust to Excel 2010’s easy manner. Feels like cheating to just type custom Y axis labels into the chart. #excel

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Golf Scores Template

______________

People must have worked with Excel formulas all weekend, because there were several tweets about brackets. There was probably lots of pivoting too.

• Oh my DAYS I am obscenely happy with this color coded production schedule I just made in #excel – it’s almost TOO sexy for safe consumption.
• In VBA used "Dim i,j as Long" for years, assuming i & j to be type Long; turns out j is Long but i is Variant #yalearnsomethingneweveryday
• Living the nerd life…at a diner watching live spreadsheet!
• I’m trying to get the in-game variables in, but I can’t keep up. Seriously, my spreadsheet said IL and I went, no UNLV will win.
• ya know…i was 4th in the state for excel spreadsheet. i got a 100% but took the longest.
• In response to "why do we need to do that in Excel?" I sent my boss my blog post on Excel. That, my friends, is #winning.
• My friend calling me to go out tonight.. my condition … excel assistance LOL
• I used Excel at work, the class helped me at work a lot, until the manager told me to stop being good and do it their way!
• What’s worse boring ole work or the fact I’m doing my super boring excel hw at boring work. It’s boring squared.
• Ok, is it just me or does anyone else dislike color in Excel spreadsheets? Not charts. You’re not colorcoding data but making my eyes hurt
• I need to talk to someone who is really smart and good at making charts in excel
• "I see you have constructed a Pivot Table. Your Excel skills are complete. Indeed you are powerful as the emperor has foreseen" #sorry
• How do you make a bunch of excel sheets go into one workbook. My wife asks this.. I asked what’s excel? Anyone help us?
• Oh. That one got broken. Sorry. It fell off the pivot table.
• Why must people with the internet at their finger tips insist on emailing me stupid questions like "how to I wrap text in excel?"
• It’s a 27" monitor. I can’t see my entire Excel document without having to scroll. There has to be a better way. I’m too stupid to find it.
• Eeee my boss gave me a page of formulas and said "go make it work on Excel" and I did I did! 8D
• Doing data aggregation without Excel Pivot tables would be a nightmare.
• #Excel can be your worst enemy if you are on the #IT Dept

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

______________

Is Excel heaven filled with spreadsheets of doom? Should we blame Microsoft? Ah, it’s the weekend — you can worry about that on Monday.

• Instead of working I’m playing with Excel pivot charts. Which is still technically working, but not a priority so I am kind of slacking.
• Just been called into the training room to solve a problem with Excel. On an excel training course.
• App work gone down well with my client but the real star is the data. I’m in love with Excel spreadsheets.
• Time to face the terrible spreadsheet of doom once more and try to discover why my calculations are off by 40 grand! #woo
• Finally created my own custom Function in #Excel. Gotta love some old school #VBA code.
• I’ve got spreadsheet eye. It’s like tennis elbow for people who work in accounts!
• Excel has given me the names of 10 students to work with. If it doesn’t work out we can blame Microsoft.
• Nested IF statements. Just what I want on a Friday! #Excel #NotOnAFriday
• I have that problem here. Apparently, I’m the ‘Excel Guru’. When I leave they’ll grind to a halt and possibly go out of business
• just finished listening to "Palace" at work. It’s like I’m at #sxsw but with a desk, office supplies, and an Excel spreadsheet.
• Wow, who knew spreadsheet tweets would be so popular? Would you all like to hear about my pivot table woes now? 😉
• Spent a whole day trying to encourage a sophisticated stats package to do something which I found out can be done in seconds by #Excel!
• The IF function in Excel is currently the bane of my existence
• update: my beautiful spreadsheet i tweeted about earlier has gone to excel heaven after a minor forgetting to save hiccup. i could cry
• Dear #excel. I am sorry for every mean thing I’ve ever said about you. You are a lovely spreadsheet program.
• I’ve tried and tried and even cried at how frustrated Excel makes meTold the boss I won’t be touching any spreadsheets
• I can write code to turn the blender on from my computer, but some Excel problems KILL me.
• Me: "I love conditional formatting in Excel" Manager: "Get a life"
• For as powerful as Excel can be, it sure has some insanely stupid limitations.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

______________

Did you get punked by Excel today? Is the Ribbon making you crazy? Or are you loving Excel…pour le moment?

• Sometimes I get bribes like this at work via email – Subject: can u help me again with excel? we have beer come over #work
• J’ai trouvé !! #Excel je t’aime !!!!!!! … Pour le moment …
• Why do people when putting colour on an Excel sheet insist on using stupid colours? I feel like I’m on an acid trip
• Can we talk about my profoundly disturbing love for the vlookup function in excel?
• I am slowly starting to learn all the Excel keyboard shortcuts. Had to relearn because of the stupid Ribbon.
• one sign of the US educational system’s failure: i spent 16+ years in it and still can’t print an excel spreadsheet. #thishandbasketiscomfy
• Every time I create a pivot table in MS Excel I always change the view back to classic. I’m just curious who uses the new view & why?!?
• It’s a Microsoft #Excel kind of day. Not happy about that. #PR
• If I had a dollar for every time I bitched about Excel, I’d be a freaking billionaire in no time. Stupid, stupid program.
• My new boss just said I did a great job with this excel file. That’s the first time she’s said anything kinda nice. #yaymi
• Why does Microsoft Excel let you Paste via Transpose from Copy but not from Cut?? Stupid thing!
• Boss & I having a crazy time using the 2007 excel,trying to figure out where all functions are. But once we found em,we’re blown away! Sad.
• Excel spreadsheet error. It asks, "Do you want help with this?" So I click Yes, and it says "No help available." I just got punked by Excel!
• I wonder if Sonic Youth knew they were making the perfect album for editing a spreadsheet when they made Dirty.
• I have to strategically place my streaming windows for the next two days. Then have a spreadsheet readily available to pop up for "work"
• On train to work. Girl has her laptop with excel on it and a big manual calculator doing sums. #fail. Also looks confused by her blackberry.
• In GA, I did a Excel spreadsheet with summary in front of hardware and each tab was a floor. Boss screwed it up.
• Today’s biggest accomplishment: A much-dreaded spreadsheet (non-work) I’ve avoided doing for one month. Only took 45 min tonight. #typical

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel Keyboard Shortcuts 

______________

Save your Excel work as you go along — that should reduce the amount of crying, even when you’re helping the boss.

• No matter what Microsoft critics have to say, Excel has got to be open of the greatest software applications ever written. #microsoft #excel
• Fine then, Excel. I will use a pivot table, but let’s get this clear; I won’t like it.
• Hour’s work lost on Excel. When will I ever learn to save as I go along. 🙁
• Sometimes you just need to start the day with"busy work". Just to give your brain (and nerves) a breather. Yes excel worksheet I mean you.
• There was a time in my life when I was called a genius for adding up figures on an excel sheet. Now I work with people cleverer than me.
• Ooook I’m not gonna even get involved with this excel thing right now cuz I’m hungry. Food 1st work l8r
• So I was gonna leave an hour ago, till my boss called me asking for 5 mins to show him excel. An hour later…. #FML #livetowork #telstra
• Boss is gone on errands, big meeting finished for the day. I should have brought my pajamas for this last 1.5 hours of excel database work!
• My boss called a meeting so that we could sit here and watch him copy text from a powerpoint to an excel doc. #failboss
• Omg.I’m never gonna help euriel with his excel sheets anymore. I pretty much did all his work & he got a higher grade then me. I’m mad !
• My boss just learned how to sort and search within Excel. #welcometothe20thcentury #smh
• You know you have a problem with excel when your spreadsheet is 76,847 rows long, but at least sample size won’t be a problem… #NERD
• Our simile of the day, courtesy of the Microsoft trainer: "A pivot table is like turning a mob into a marching band."
• Dear Excel, I love all the things you can do but I don’t like writing you IF statements
• why didn’t any1 tell me ab excel’s pivot table function! U ppl hv been holding out on me.
• buried underneath a pile of excel spreadsheets, direct deposit forms, and workers’ comp claims. i love being busy at work.
• woo .. 375000 rows of Adventure Works goodness in my Excel workbook #PowerPivot
• Fine. Don’t come crying to me when you gotta do an Excel spreadsheet. #ImaPC
• Just explained text wrapping and overwriting vs inserting text in Excel to my frustrated, confused boss. #jobsecurity

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions
• PowerPivot from Identical Files

______________

Watching the Sharks probably affects your blood pressure, so keep track in Excel, and report the results to your doctor.

• i’m succeeding in my mission to do as little work as possible today. its almost 11am and i haven’t finished a single excel sheet yet.
• I’m having way too much fun playing with charts in Excel. It’s for work, I swear!
• Dang, I wish I was watching the Sharks game right now instead of looking at stupid excel spreadsheets.
• I really, really love using MS Excel. I wish I know more "tricks" than merging cells and coloring them. XD
• Waiting for Excel. Massive vlookup is slow. Gonna be a while. #excel #haiku
• dude, that’s what I love about you. You are the only person I know w/ a favorite excel function. That’s awesomeness.
• I find it a shame that some of my finest work is in spreadsheet form and no-one wants to see it. Ah well.
• We’re not sure what the "look out" & "on alert" excel spreadsheet means.
• Someone just sent me their CV as an excel spread sheet. In the name of all that is holy tell me stupid is not contagious…
• The doctor loved my blood pressure Excel charts. I’m such an engineer.
• $1 to anyone who can tell me how to disable that stupid edge-double-click-jump-to-end-of-column "feature" in Excel. Also I hate Excel.
• I hate Excel -.- dealing with 2007 for work, too many stupid things about it!
• Trying to plan my birthday party. Yeah, I made an excel spreadsheet and everything.
• Today I love the person responsible fr creating #Microsoft #Excel 😀 Work simplied 🙂
• I seem to have lost my way and fallen into Excel Spreadsheet hell! CTRL + A and Delete ?
• You know, I still think "ribbons" are stupid, but I like New Excel. (Which has apparently been out for 4 yrs, but I’ve had it for 3 months.)
• Just put together an Excel Spreadsheet in a moving vehicle. Thank you, Verizon Wireless, for having my back in times of crisis. #BeastMode

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel Keyboard Shortcuts 

______________

Based on these tweets posted yesterday, it must have been a Monday. What other day of the week has wrestling matches, creepy messages and Apocalypse Now?

• If I don’t say so myself, this spreadsheet full of projections just might make sense.
• really creeps me out when #excel asks you to save changes to spreadsheet you havn’t actually modified
• My boss is asking me how to make changes in an Excel doc. Plz just send it to me so I can do it myself!
• Gearing up for my wrestling match with a v complicated excel spreadsheet in the morning.
• Just opened a screenshot of an email pasted in a word doc embedded within an excel sheet. #nojoke #badpractices #fml
• Spreadsheet creativity is something I excel in.
• Not that it happened to me yesterday… But who knew excel couldn’t handle 4 pivot tables summarizing 140000 rows of data.
• I could go into more detail about my love of lists – Excel spreadsheets etc – but I’d worry I might come across imbalanced.
• i’m about to label the tabs on my excel workbook and create my cover page for my paper. that’s all i’m doing right now. i’m tired.
• Microsoft marketing have had a huge coup. the Spanish day-to-day word for a spreadsheet is "un Excel"
• I chilled enough today… time to open up Excel and get some work done.
• Because, to me, anything involving Excel spreadsheets is work … not fun!! But that’s just me.
• I made a housemate-proof spreadsheet on the weekend for keeping tabs on grocery money.
• My journey into pivot table hell is basically the same story as Apocalypse Now except A3 print outs have replaced terminating Kurtz.
• done and done. that took all bloody day to do those additions and excel spreadsheet. gonna save an average of 20 minutes a day tho!
• Enough charts on there? You just get Excel and figure out how to use it?
• The "Transpose" feature of Excel must be the single most stupid UX implementation ever! Copy, Paste-special, Transpose checkbox, Paste. WTF?

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Keyboard Shortcuts 

______________

Find a boyfriend who can organize the Olympic Games in Excel, and he won’t have any problem planning a Vegas trip or wedding later. Good choice!

• I just used the array function on Excel spreadsheet. Feeling extremely genius bout myself now. Lol 🙂
• if my excel work is correct, the answer is: 600
• Ur my hero! In ur honour I’m going to spend my Sunday night with a pivot table and my Q1 figures! #TheGeeksWillInheritTheEarth
• I just got really giddy learning about Excel 2007 conditional formatting data bars. Visual learners like me love this stuff #nerdalert
• If you’ve ever used a pivot table in a spreadsheet…you’ve written a BI query. @oraclebisig Nice explanation about #BI http://ow.ly/3KNgQ
• Applying Excel formulae to work out running times for my Noel Coward show #donetoomuchtempinginmytime
• Using Excel was supposed to make the guest list simple, but my mother can’t open the file. I do not know how to fix this problem efficiently
• What happens in Vegas…stays smartly in the form of a Excel spreadsheet until reported to my wife-to-be…at post-trip briefing.
• it just took me 10 min to figure out how to beat my auto-correct typing in excel for 2 stupid cells. #truestory
• Got powerpoint and excel this evening. Like Christmas, but after the presents you have to work. Doh!
• OBSESSED with planning my backyard vegetable garden. Already have the beds organized and color coded in an excel spreadsheet #nerdalert
• My boyfriend is so cute! He organized the "possible" olympic games onto an excel spreadsheet. Oh yes. Got to love organization!
• To really drive someone mad, just pass them an Excel Spreadsheet.. (aggh)
• Is it lame I’m constructing a work breakdown schedule in Excel for my wedding?
• I love getting documents in Excel format. Means I can calculate the average sentence, the sum of the headings – that kind of thing. #useful.
• tryin to do excel but the rascal flatts special is on.. love them
• turquoise and white excel spreadsheet with red and black text #whomadethisthing?
• It was 2:30am and I didn’t know what was going on! I’m not too conversant with Excel – funny now but not at stupid o’clock!

___________

Related Links:

• Conditional Formatting Data Bars
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

______________

Let’s put on some Duke Ellington, crack open a monthly revenue report in Excel, and party like it’s 36525.

• Dear @Microsoft , Excel 2010 is buggy and is making more and more work for me. Productivity: Zero. #officehaiku
• I thought #Excel couldn’t be any worse than I’d already discovered it to be, but it always surprises me with new ways NOT to work #ExcelFail
• If excel is like a daily jog and pivot tables are like a marathon why do monthly revenue reports seem worse than an iron man?
• When you simultaneously work on pdf and Excel files, you realise that Excel should have a hand tool or a pan tool that Adobe Acrobat has
• Still up inputing data into spss and microsoft excel. I don’t wanna be a teacher anymore. This is entirely too much work. #tiredtweet
• #FML! Just worked super hard on trying to finish an excel project that I thought was due at 12 when it was due at 11:30 + it was worth 60pts
• I may have just created the single sexiest and most useful excel spreadsheet EVER!!! With it I shall RULE THE WORLD!!!!
• Can’t believe I just spent two hours on that spreadsheet. Like really?
• #saynoto merged cells and shared workbooks in #Excel
• I’ll just send gobbledegook. That will shut him up for a while. Back to your spreadsheet and Harvard Business Review, you pencilneck.
• I’ve seen his package, and its HUGE -coworker on my boss’ excel spreadsheet
• Tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 36525. #excel
• Have a pal in the army who keeps sending me ‘bravery’ videos. I work with a MNC. Should I send him excel sheets?
• Made the mistake of asking my helpful developer colleague for help with an #Excel macro. #BazookaToAKnifeFight
• excel is my friend… too bad it is like my wife, we only partially speak each others’ language. #excel
• If one spends too much time with someone u r in love with them. This has been replaced with Excel sheets now
• Coffee…check. Duke Ellington on spotify…check. Multiple excel spreadsheets open….check. I LOVE working from home #geekric

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA
• Excel Tips and Tutorials

______________

Thundercats used to be popular at our house, but I never connected it with Excel. Twilight Zone, however, sounds like some shared spreadsheets that I’ve seen.

• Forgot to tag that with #excel , the Devil’s software. Or does #access hold that title?
• Dear clients: No, Excel can’t convert Photoshop graphics into live charts.
• I think i finally figured out how to use a pivot table in excel. scratch that off my bucket list.
• I’ve been using #microsoft #Excel 2007/2010 for at least 2 years. I still haven’t bought into whether it’s an improvement. frustrated.
• I am now having a migraine after solving an excel problem after 1 hour…
• Playing with Visual Basic. How on earth do you learn all these codes??? #microsoft #excel #visualbasic
• Every year I learn a little bit more about Excel’s pivot tables.Contrary to what you might expect, that’s a good thing.
• 7 hours in front of an Excel workbook, I feel strangely out-of-body, and emotional
• Group editing a spreadsheet. #notwinning
• the only reason why i went to comp sci today was because we are learning all about #excel #weirdobsession
• Sword of Omens, give me sight beyond sight. Oh, and some extra Excel-fu #thundercats #Excel
• Do you think there’s a job out there called ‘Pivot table creator’? I think I would enjoy that.
• Spent all morning fixing microsoft excel shared worksheet issues! Seriously stopping me and others from doing their work, fixed now!
• If I don’t fall sleep in the next 10min, I’m sure I’m gonna get back to my Excel Sheets and work for the next couple hours! #excel=ENDLESS
• Drawing circles with scatter charts is trickier than it looks. Don’t let your mind wander. Excel will catch you. #excel #in
• I found myself suggesting an excel spreadsheet and developing a process. Who am I??? #twilightzone
• sucks when two people are trying to edit the same document at the same time. damn #excel
• just filled in a excel spreadsheet.. i feel sad, nauseous, confused, gobsmacked.. it cant be surely not… ?
• Why spend the day shopping when you know you’d rather be enjoying the delights of an excel spreadsheet?
• I finally opened #Excel to start my spread sheet after much procrastination, now i’m on #twitter again 😛

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

______________

Today’s Excel lessons — never correct your wife, use your powers to help your dad, and don’t annoy macro-writing co-workers.

• Turns out the problem was having Excel open at the same time as Word. #ffs
• I go from my store yday, where it was so busy I couldn’t eat, to my new store. where I am changing colors on an excel spreadsheet.
• i don’t think an excel spreadsheet is large enough for 7 combinations and its infinite 🙁 #FML so so much
• For one day I would love a day without microsoft excel and powerpoint… I wonder if my boss is ok with me giving them up for lent
• Could this spreadsheet lesson get any more boring … "show and hide these rows" .. *yawn* :/
• My color-coding system is changing. Lavender is easier to read than violet. -4 man points. #excel
• It has been so long since I have had to make charts in Excel. Have lots of numbers to make into something sensible. Tips appreciated.
• If u want me 2 write an Excel macro 2 turn ur daily hour task into a 5 seconds one, and I’m doing it, don’t cc my boss in ur "done?" email.
• Magical Megan Excel Powers: Episode 3.9: The case of her father’s missing spreadsheet tab. "Click the arrow on the bottom." #shazam…
• I look forward to free meals at work but there’s always a price to pay right. <opens new excel window>
• Playing with excel, trying to work out where my money goes every month. Still none the wiser.
• live corporate dream – curry & spreadsheet – er, is it too late for another career change? #overtime http://yfrog.com/h459ohxj
• my roommate is making an excel spreadsheet of how shes gonna spend her money over spring break. im wearing shutter shades and eating oatmeal
• I judge my productivity on how often I crash #excel. Count this morning: 4, median daily crashes: 1.5, months supply of crashes: 7.2
• I seems I can’t spend ten minutes on a spreadsheet without making a cup of tea #procrastination
• I am on a computer. I am tweeting from the computer. I am pretending to work on excel whilst tweeting from the computer. Mission successful.
• And, in my case for this stupid Excel VBA, it’s "what the hell was I thinking" #dontjudgeme
• it’s taken me this long, but i’ve finally found something PCs do better than macs: MS excel. HATE the mac version.
• Did 3 min’s of Excel/charting work for my wife, who is excel-illiterate. Pretty 3D bar chart. She thinks I’m a genius. Who am I to correct?

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VBA

______________

It’s Excel poetry day, according to these tweets. Do you prefer the COUNTIF poem, or the better known IF poem? And IF you’re not in the mood for poetry, you can draw circles and eat cake.

• I am having a bad data day.#excel #sass
• Want to make a Google map from a spreadsheet of stuff? I always lose this url, so this is also for me 😉 http://bit.ly/adPGtM
• Had to resort to a 4pm coffee to get through this spreadsheet. Seriously, 9 hours of excel should be illegal.
• Meal planning takes time & practice. I made a spreadsheet at 1 point b/c of my own busy schedule. Plan +1 trip 2 store = savings!
• this lab suuucks…. this excel spreadsheet has more numbers on it than almost any thermo problem so that’s saying something!
• Today was all Excel grids, all the time. Pricing work is like that.
• There are "tests" for programming positions. Are there similar exercises for financial analysts? Need something to funnel the pool #excel
• To draw circles using xy scatter charts needs the SIN, COS and RADIANS functions. They have something to do with circles, right? #excel
• I just spent almost 2 hours typing in stupid commands for something I just found out I can do in 20 seconds flat. I freaken hate excel -_-
• Excel has just informed me that I am 28.9 years old. I hate you #Excel.
• I’m surprised your grooms cake isn’t an Excel spreadsheet!
• Autofilled a really stupid Excel formula over 950K rows. Ouch, my CPU!
• 15mins work become 1hour work. Stupid Excel.
• If you have read my bio and wondered my thoughts on THAT Kipling poem. Where i’m at is he would have been better to nest those IFs #excel
• i love it when programmers act condescending to Excel users whose spreadsheets get messy, as if our code never gets messy.
• Oh "COUNTIF" function…how I love thee! You make Excel like a fragrance of organization and make auditing so full of ease…#NerdPoem
• Today my PowerPoint and excel skills are #winning! Got kudos for all kinds of fancy charts that took me no time to do!

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Functions
• Excel Weekly Meal Planner

______________

Yes, if you tweet less, you’ll probably get more done — unless your brain goes numb from staring at Excel!

• excel – proof that satan does walk among us here on earth. that and the starbucks at the airport.
• And xcelsius only mimics Excel. It lacks many functions, and its charts are nowhere near as flexible or capable.
• every year I SWEAR I won’t go a year before dealing with that spreadsheet.
• I love that the term "review" in office speak means "come show me how to do this because I am a moron and don’t know how to use excel"
• Perfect. Step-by-step directions for analysing our lab report data, that I canny follow with my archaic version of excel #FML
• deep in #excel spreadsheets… definitely got the #mondayfeeling
• Why would I ever, ever, want the original formatting when pasting into an Excel Spreadsheet? #losingmytemperatmiscrosoft
• I’m sat in front of a puter typing numbers into a spreadsheet and have been for the last 3hrs. How do people do this everyday? Brain is numb
• Good morning, #Excel. Looks like we’ll be spending the day together. I fear the spam to be wrought by tweeting about a Microsoft product.
• I just stumbled my way through my first pivot table…look out world, my spreadsheets are about to get #EPIC
• The worst thing I’ve done in the past week is make a spreadsheet. It haunts me.
• I can only share that with my wife and giant spreadsheet 🙂
• Dear person who messed up this excel spreadsheet. If I ever find you, I’m going to be as mean to you as Excel is being to me #deathbyexcel
• Signs you’re a nerd: when you make a master to-do list in excel so you can color-code and sort by due date. #fb #nerdalert
• Maybe if I just make a spreadsheet of my daily schedule, I could spare you guys the live-tweeting of my life.
• why are you denying me access spreadsheet, I put the right password in >:-(
• Is pretending to shoot my PC screen at work a normal thing to do? (Excel took the full force of the blast)
• Bollocks, I was set to have such a productive day today – the sum total of my day; 4 lines in an Excel spreadsheet. Should tweet less!
• It takes years to figure out the error you get in #excel

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel VLOOKUP Function
• Excel VBA
• Excel Tips and Tutorials
• Excel Keyboard Shortcuts 
• Excel Templates
• Excel Functions
• Excel Calorie Counter

______________

What did you do on the weekend? Finish your ironing? Sleep? Work on lab reports? Analyze your poker swings? Colour your Excel worksheets?

• Points? Bars? What is this madness? We need PIE CHARTS. THOSE are the best way to show our data. #excel #biologists
• trying to teach myself how to make charts & graphs in excel. oy vey. anyone know a great tutorial for the numbers-challenged?
• absolutely knackered! Too many statistics and excel and pie charts today. Need a sleep but no off to work 🙁
• 3 hours later, spreadsheet down, now the ironing! Whoop whoop!!
• My boss has been trying to fix an excel formula for 2 days. I fixed it in 2 minutes. Feel so smart.
• When making a pivot table, make it first a simple count (put the same item in the Data and Row fields). Then complicate, slowly.
• I’ve seen two sorting issues with Excel in two days (not mine)… a reminder to double check your work and cross-reference a reliable file.
• #petpeeve People who use whole sentences to name columns in #excel and people who feel that EVERY column neds to be a diff color #skittles
• No, they are fun to make. I don’t get to make them anymore at work now so I have pivot table envy.
• So I am going to open my pivot table and get myself a coffee. It should be open by the time I get back in 10 minutes
• Grad committee meeting = success! Microsoft Excel charts = painful.
• By popular demand (one person asked) I am returning to the spreadsheet to keep track of poker swings. Trying to get enough data to graph
• Have reached new heights of #geek- using an excel spreadsheet to make up my shopping list for the day of baking.
• literally having the same problem for the past 2 days. you think they could just make excel easy. or just rid of lab reports
• Demand for my modelling work seems to have increased 10fold over the last few weeks. I just wish people didn’t constrain it to MS Excel.
• I know I practically have a career working in Excel, but if I have to stare at a spreadsheet for ONE MORE HOUR #illjustkeepwhining #NB4R
• Death by pivot table. #seriously
• At work. Feel like I’m in detention. 1000 lines of spreadsheet hell completed.
• What’s a Pivot Table? #thingsnottosayatsloan

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Special Sort

______________

Some Excel files look a bit cheesy, but I didn’t know that a specific variety of cheese caused problems. Maybe the Emmental creates holes in the data.

• My boss told me to make my Excel spreadsheets more exciting.
• New Excel 2010 resource center for IT professionals on TechNet! http://cot.ag/dPtDvS
• is it weird that I got REALLY excited about learning how to make a pivot table? Yeah, thought so.
• *FACE PALM* Don’t #$&@##$*% touch the excel spreadsheet if you don’t know how to work the formulas!! Thank goodness for backups.
• never eat emmental cheese and work on excel!
• Fairly sure that the joy experienced over a simple pivot table makes me some kind of weirdo Excelophile.
• Help Twitter can anyone work Excel?!
• Is in a teleconference listening about pivot tables, excel spreadsheets, etc. #brainhurtsnow
• Just 7 more hours of pretending to work today. I do have my desk lamp on and a random Excel sheet up on my screen… I hope that helps.
• Finish the spreadsheet and maybe we’ll talk
• I just found out, the numbers on excel actually DO end! On 1,048,576. Random number…or secret code? 😉
• Your Cheating Chart: Here’s 6 examples of charting methods that may distort data. http://ow.ly/47gtW #Excel
• Left work early only to come home and have to teach my dad how to use excel, great! X
• At Sloan: someone said "I’m having trouble w/ my Excel"; 1000 heads whipped up in unison" #ssac
• I write my rhymes on spreadsheet that why am bound to excel
• my pivot table just asked me SHALL WE PLAY A GAME? should I be scared? http://bit.ly/e4JJgm
• Once again, Excel is my friend. I have an ‘insane spreadsheet of doom’ ready to record the results #huu11
• My 3rd period class needs to get off Tweeter and get to work on your Excel spreadsheet on flowers!~Mrs. Rich

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Templates

______________

If you work on your Excel spreadsheets while driving, you probably won’t need to worry about a pension. Insert your own "crashing Excel" joke here.

• I just used a pension calculator. My God thats a depressing spreadsheet.
• Office challenge: How would you improve this #Excel spreadsheet | TechRepublic http://dlvr.it/J587y
• It would help if I made sure that a timeline with dates from 12/29 to 3/17 were not all in 2011 #excel #duh
• New work laptop. Thing is so fast I need a seatbelt. Bring on the Excel formulas!
• EXCEL: "Done! Ohhh, you have another 1.2M cell spreadsheet open, let me recalculate that too. My pleasure." – WINDOWS7: "Shush again, user!"
• Is there a charity where I can donate all my unused Sheet2 and Sheet3? #excel
• Did I just sync 340MB of Excel spreadsheets to my phone so that I can work while driving? Yes. Yes I did. #productivityoversafety
• A user called with a problem with a spreadsheet. They were trying to open up an Excel file in Word. I love my job.
• In this issue of "Kelly Gets Bogged Down in the Details: Excel Spreadsheet Edition," we explore the abyss that is pivot tables.
• The biggest ever Excel macro project is almost done. 14 code modules, takes around 6 minutes to run making ~4100 calculations for 36 charts!
• There is a colour war on my Excel spreadsheet. Green is by far in the lead but it’s making me think of, well, sick.
• I just solved an Excel problem that’s been plaguing me for years. I AM AN EXCEL NINJA!!!
• last few days – being trained in the ways of the pivot table by an excel jedi. ‘let the reports flow through your fingers, young padawan’.
• So far this week I have been told I am ‘A Star’ twice; once for creating a folder, and once for inserting a column in an Excel spreadsheet.
• Would love to know how #Excel can get -0.00, is zero negative!? Grr! Now I just need to reconcile some mismatches
• There’s something always fulfilling, finally finishing w/finicky spreadsheets. 312 spreadsheets down to one massive pivot table.
• Dear Microsoft Excel, if I wasn’t so consistant with saving my work I would probably be more angry, but please STOP CRASHING. Thank you.
• Similarly, I was given a "Top Marks" sticker just for showing someone how to make a pivot table in Excel last month. I AM 30, ffs.
• I love excel. It makes me look like I can do maths when in reality I suspect I have number dyslexia at times if there’s such a thing
• At work and staring at an excel sheet full of timelines. Will definitely need that drink. Or three.

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

______________

Maybe that Mom with OCD could do the calculation on how much space is wasted by the extra sheets in a blank Excel file.

• Playing with an Excel spreadsheet for the first time in a year, and surprising myself how much I’d forgotten.
• Am I the last person in the U.S. to not know how to use #excel?! This is so annoying.
• UTTER NIGHTMARE: Trying to collaborate on 1 spreadsheet, 1 corporate network; multiple users/places. SharePoint + Excel = #FAIL
• I am head over heels in love with Excel. Also graphs. Lots of graphs.
• I love the Excel team. I loathe the Word team. How do they exist in the same universe never mind the same company?
• Listening to Yuck’s debut album whilst manually editing 2974 lines in an Excel spreadsheet at work. This is a good metaphor for my life.
• Today I have mostly been; working on the biggest Excel spreadsheet ever, a bit of email marketing & helping re-arrange the office furniture.
• The only reason why the majority of people don’t switch to #Apple is because of #Microsoft #Excel. $APPL, $MSFT.
• I wish I had an Excel pivot table ninja sat next to me today. Clueless doesn’t begin to cover it.
• I’m either too stupid or too smart to function with excel. I just can’t do it.
• This stupid Excel sheet will NEVER leave me alone! My boss just keeps telling me more stuff to add onto it! ajsljfhahfkladhskgalsjfhaadsjkh!
• The two blank spreadsheets excel includes in every file are ~2kb each. Someone do the math and work how much space is being wasted
• it’s purposely intended to make those of us who only use one sheet feel inadequate so that we’ll start using excel more often
• There is officially nothing so geekily satisfying as a well constructed pivot table.
• I’m in love with Excel and formulas. Just thought I’d share that. Each and every time they work I smile. #onestepawayfromgeeky #coffeeclub
• careful, you are editing an unsaved spreadsheet Yep, that’s just the way I rock n roll 😉
• Thank goodness that my Mom’s a bit OCD and has an actual excel spreadsheet with all the trips we’ve ever taken. 🙂

___________

Related Links:

• Excel Charts
• Excel Pivot Tables
• Excel Functions

______________